#too many language facts
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#polls#specific poll#it's about hype#it's about recognition yourself in others#too many language facts#idk#my life is weird#its hard to pick#maybe i'll do later funnier or grimmer one#i accept suggestions#mine
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sardinian miku (nuragus robes bc theyre pretty af im not even from nuragus) !!!!! ^_^
i originally wanted to draw her as the ainu orriadore but i was too lazy so i made this instead but i was still too lazy so 🙄🙄
no rep for my belgian side cause im. too lazy
also. shoutout to my dad for being the reference for her features
#ignore how a whole hand is like missing#we dont need to talk abt that ..#hatsune miku#miku#miku worldwide#sardinia#cultural miku#sardinians are their own ethnicity w their own language separate from italians btw did u know that#sorry im petty i needed to say that ive seen too many people refer to sardinian as a dialect#when in fact sardinian has so many dialects that some (like sassarese) classify as their own language#anyways !!!#sardinian culture#sardigna no est italia#listen to kenze neke 🙄🙄
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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Girl help why is a fantasy setting using modern American gender terminology
They could've already bounced off of the existing term aqun-athlok and show the gender culture of the North largely adopting Qunari concepts as part of cultural exchange resulting from the literal hundreds of years of war with the Qun. The only openly transgender characters we know of are from Tevinter anyway! They already wanted to show the Qun in a more positive light in Veilguard, having Thedosian queer culture be primarily influenced by the Qun would be a great way to do exactly that
#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#dragon age taash#dragon age lore#dragon age the veilguard#it just really feels a bit like they just take the modern real world (american) gender terminology for granted#most of the terms are very recent too. we didn't have most of these terms until only the past century or not even that#not to mention some cultures in the world have their own terms and concepts regarding gender. it's not universal#and having the queer culture of Thedas be tied with the other geopolitical issues would be interesting af too#something I and many other queer people living outside the US would relate to would be having to grapple with the#fact that the only way to describe your lived personal experience is by using the language of what's essentially the colonizers#because your country never developed any of your own. it's the dilemma between resisting the pressure on your culture and being able to#express your identity. feeling like accepting yourself as queer is losing some of your ties with your home#of course it would not be the exact same in Thedas since the Qun doesn't have the same chokehold on global culture as the US does#but like you get it. there is stuff to be done with this#but the way this codex entry is written feels a lot like the devs trying to educate players on real world queer people#and doing frankly a very bad job at it
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back from the dead (snort)
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WAIT WAIT ARE YOU TELLING ME DEMETER HAS AN EPITHET REFERENCING VENGENFUL FURIES?! WAHT??? >:D!?!
asdfghjkl thank you! really glad u like her lol shes becoming my favouritest to doodle lol. also not at all! i really love that you kept the aspect of her grief that so many are keen to twist to villainise her or erase completely to invalidate her. both are awful imo
heres a quote from le ask (soon i promise 😭😂): "Demeter and Persephone share a strong bond compared to the other gods. After Persephones "death" Demeter was never really the same. Demeter relives the painful cycle annually, and carries a deep rooted bitterness toward the other gods for it."
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i actually think its hilarious and awesome to see that demeter can be herself with those shes close with (one of my favourite things in characterisations is when you have what seems to be a stern and serious presenting person breaking character at a dumb or inappropriate joke or something to that affect, it kills me everytime its so funny!)
anyway demeter is NOT not be confused with gaia (my girl knows how to have fun lol). but much like the rest of us shes got issues to work with and experiences to heal and grow from *finger guns*. 10/10 i think u did her justice. so much so i drew this for u hehe
under no cicumstances should she meet micheal scott lmao. humanity will never hear the end of "thats what _ said" jokes. ever.
her hair is lime green btw the light is making her blonde :/
#absolutely more demeter and persephone content when i get to it lol#(im so sorry it sounds like im hyping it up im not i swear XD)#but i have so many thoughts abt the three of them specifically#theres honestly not enough demeter and persephone fluff out there. i need the wholesome mother daughter love and friendship#read the three versions of sephs abduction on theoi a while back and aside from the writing being beautiful and emotional#(or im just a sucker for homeric language lol)#it really delivered the anguish & pain. honestly she was really sensible about it too (eveyrthing will be forgotten just bring her home)#then when she was refused her grief did what no mortal nor diety thought possible#thats motherly (and parental really) love right there#NEED IT#but i also enjoy them being little shits XD#anyway#demeter#they could never make me hate you#fun fact she had deep red hair at first but looked like poison ivy too much so i changed it to green lol#astron#astral train#my art#i have no self restraint#send help#will probably come back later tonight for whats in my drafts already
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Overhead, the stars shone clear and bright, and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn, on the foothills across this very city, though she might be little more than a strange, mighty being from another world, he offered up a prayer anyway.
Then, he had begged Mala to protect Aelin from Maeve when they entered Doranelle, to give her strength and guidance, and to let her walk out alive. Then, he had begged Mala to let him remain with Aelin, the woman he loved. The goddess had been little more than a sunbeam in the rising dawn, and yet he had felt her smile at him.
Tonight, with only the cold fire of the stars for company, he begged her once more.
A curl of wind sent his prayer drifting to those stars, to the waxing moon silvering the camp, the river, the mountains.
He had killed his way across the world; he had gone to war and back more times than he cared to remember. And despite it all, despite the rage and despair and ice he'd wrapped around his heart, he'd still found Aelin. Every horizon he'd gazed toward, unable and unwilling to rest during those centuries, every mountain and ocean he'd seen and wondered what lay beyond... It had been her. It had been Aelin, the silent call of the mating bond driving him, even when he could not feel it.
They'd walked this dark path together back to the light. He would not let the road end here.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#Essar#Mala#more starry quotes#lord of the north#I will find you#no spoilers pls 1st read to read along with me pt 4 of 4 perspectives more notes/quotes/reacts in tags; spoilers in both post & tags#They would not all go in all go out. — he won’t leave without Aelin… and probably Cairn dead#Ready to unleash hell when he sent a flare of his magic diverting soldiers to their side while Rowan made his run for Aelin.#She'd protested but even Gavriel had told her that she was mortal. Untrained. And what she'd done today… Rowan didn’t have the words#thank you for Elide appreciation day#He trusted Essar. She'd never liked Maeve had outright said she did not serve her with any willingness or pride.#But these last few hours before dawn when so many things could go wrong...#the full circle of him praying to Mala in HoF and then mentioning it in QoS and EoS and now here in KoA😭#She had to be there. Aelin had to be there.#If they had come so close but wound up being the very thing that had caused Maeve to take Aelin away AGAIN#The bond within him lay dark and slumbering. No indication of her proximity. — Maeve doing that too AGH I HATE HER SO MUCH#Essar had no idea that Aelin was being kept here until Elide informed her. How many others hadn't known? How well had Maeve hidden her?#— maybe that means there’s some good face on their side who might help if they know or learn?#ah rowaelins love language of revenge and compartmentalizing#Overhead the stars shone clear and bright and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn on the foothills across this very city#though she might be little more than a strange mighty being from another world he offered up a prayer anyway.#his magic sending a prayer to the northern stars for dawn to stay with the woman he loves — even back then😭#Tonight with only the cold fire of the stars for company he begged her once more.#HE SAYS COLD FIRE BECAUSE ITS NOT HIS FIREHEART😭 and the the darkness back to the light — IT WILL NOT END HERE WE WONT LET IT HE WONT LET IT#and the fact he knew he loved her back then😭 and all those centuries before when he didn’t know why😭😭😭
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actually no Taylor take I disagree with more than that she’s whiny/stays stuck on one thing forever.
#in fact sometimes I think she whines too little lmao#moves on too fast and compartmentalizes too thoroughly#but the truth is that she has lived a hundred different lives and moves at the speed of light while ALSO. forgetting nothing.#so it IS all there and is all being processed but that’s because she’s brilliant not because she’s stuck#anyway she could not be so different from so many of her peers in this exact way#who I think ARE just doing emotional naval-gazing over and over#I always think about a conversation I had with Dr. Maria years ago when she was first introduced to Taylor#and she was like ‘oh yeah she isn’t just collecting her piles of little pebbles to emotionally stew over them’#or something like that. (I know the metaphor involved pebbles!)#but the point is: she’s dealing with Reality always#but she is brilliant and she has lived a lot of life and so there’s always a lot happening and she is going to be too much for people#but actually not because she’s small but because she’s too big!!!!!#not a pop star of whom it is more appropriate to speak in Chestertonian language actually#Gracie Abrams it could never be you (I’m kidding) (I mean I’m not but like)
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Hey 🗑️🔥 gang (@katkastrofa @rokurookajima @shadelorde)…
Heard you guys like feral women 😏😏😏
#yes this is directly inspired by Syd and Nightmare’s recent animalistic Raava pieces#I’m sorry if you expected something related to the spirit kites but I’m obsessed with my OCs first and foremost#and Suiren is already very feral in most verses. the mermaid AU just adds a biological factor to it#but actually. fun fact. she doesn’t even look as feral as she would be were she a full mermaid#(yeah I’m spoiler alert that’s not really a spoiler given that I drew a lot for this AU last year and already gave it away. Ghazan’s human)#(meaning Suiren’s only half mermaid. I’ve never drawn her in this AU but I imagine Ming-Hua looking ever more monster like)#(bc I dislike when mermaids are just pretty girls with fish tails. give me FANGS and CLAWS and SCALES and GILLS and FINS)#(so yeah. Ming-Hua has a lot more scaled and also dorsal fins running higher up her back. and a more dexterous tail. I should draw her)#but I hope the vibe still comes across. with the blood and all 😁#was it a fish she ate or a too curious human? that’s for me to know and for you to find out#ANYWAY!! some new headcanons about my mermaids based on what you guys said about human Raava:#my mermaids don’t inherently know human language. their underwater communication sounds similar to whale singing#above water it’s more of a chirping noise? though more elongated and melodic than a dolphin’s. something between a trill and a whine#and most don’t have the capacity to speak human language. but sirens have unique vocal chords that allow the siren spell to work#it’s similar to a parrot’s. they’re very good at mimicry. it’s an evolutionary hunting tactic#but they also have more developed brains than a parrot’s therefore can not only mimic but consciously speak#though it takes time to master. like a foreign language#am I implying that when Mingzan met as kids they couldn’t understand each other and Ghazan taught her to speak human? yes. yes I am#because I’m a sucker for language barriers and think that scenario is adorable. fucking sue me.#and obliviously Suiren was taught both mermaid and human. but it was Midori who helped her keep up her knowledge#(look I don’t have that part plotted out yet but Something happens to their parents and they’re left on their own. as a parallel to SotRL)#(also btw Midori was born without a tail but still not quite human. she has scales and gills and ear fins and fangs and glowing eyes)#(and no one but Suiren and Haya know about all that. Haya makes her hide it and convinces her that she’s a half fish freak :/)#(at least.. until a certain Beifong with an interest in marine biology comes along…)#(yes Green Opal in this verse are the epitome of ‘there are many benefits to being a marine biologist’)#how did I end up talking about Midori. anyway. yes I made both Kuvira and Ghazan monsterfuckers. no I’m not ashamed#my art#artists on tumblr#Nia’s mermaid AU#sotrl suiren
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Ohhhhhh that ending so solidified the anime adaptation in and of itself and made it very complete as a story (a little bit saddened since it doesn't feel like there might be season 2 with the way the ending changed from the the manga's plot points, at least not anytime soon until we get to some other arcs in the manga!)
Also ngl I kept re-watching some of the sign language scenes with Yuki and Itsu just because of how PRETTY the animation was for it. This anime honestly impressed me with the details in animation.
Man the anime did such a lovely job with its adaptation. I'd love to see at least an ONA or something with Yuki and Itsu and the gang giving us sign language lessons. I need to see more of them ughhhh.
I love A Sign of Affection sm y'all. This is my 10/10 anime this year.
#dia talks#yubisaki to renren#a sign of affection#spoilers#a sign of affection spoilers#yubisaki to renren spoilers#I am a little bit pedantic when it comes to the fact that they didn't bring an actual trilingual voice actor for Itsuomi#but honestly there's only so many voice actors you can find that fit that criteria (and one got recently cancelled so they dodges a bullet)#so even with my pedantic linguistic side I am genuinely pleased with how much vocal and sign languages and they added in this anime#and i also heard some of the background ones speak very fluently too especially for the german kids in the last ep so that was major points#anyway definitely a 9.5/10 which im rounding to 10/10 because i can and also 'cuz MAL doesn't use decimal scores for its user rating
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i've mentioned here and there that i made a relationships/dynamic spreadsheet. i have finally put it to use. look on my Works, ye mighty, and despair.
-extra note: i am not omniscient and i cannot watch every stream. i may have missed a sibling declaration or two.
-extra extra note: i currently speak only english and used google translate for the rest. if theres a translation error I'd love to know- i wont be able to go back and fix these, but im always so curious about how accurate google translate can be
extra extra note pt 2: do. do other languages use guardian as in "legal guardian" as in "not a family member but still Primary Caregiver of child" because i am suddenly aware those translations might not be correct. on the other hand tho if google translate decided that the parents are guarding warriors of the eggs im not going to argue
#qsmp#i should have added a ??? line for fit and philza tbh#look at just how beloved forever is <3#his dynamics have dynamics#he and richarlyson are also part of The Issue when compiling a fucking. whatever the hell this si#maybe a chart not a graph it is currently 4 am and im gonna schedule this#anyway i did legitimately consider making one of those classic family tree charts and just sticking richas in the centre so he wouldnt caus#too many lines to overlap but i think this worked out fine#absolutely delighted i thought of the columns it saved my ass#this server is Three Months Old#look at them founding those families#philever stans i see you and im sorry#if i included a heartbreak line then this would have been completely incomprehensible#fun fact to translate the silly 'king what are you doing' i made google translate#'chad what are you doing' instead so there would still be the grammar of a proper noun#but i wouldnt trick it into thinking king is an honourary title#i might not know the grammar of any non-english language but Oh Boy i know there are Traps#or maybe english's traps have just made me paranoid#either way#also. richas was added to bad's family art wall and bad baghs and forever have called each other family enough that#i made the executive decision to just adopt richarlyson out to the other two#richas called bad basically his mom tonight i can do what i want#and baghera gets to be part of that line because. honestly i wasnt thinking about him being Extra Canon Nephew#and i refuse to change it for reasons above re: it is 4 am; they are family#tho the thought of bad having three children separately attributed to him is hilarious.... maybe if i ever remake this ill do that#also note: i do know that foolish and bad had a kid called jimmy However i do not know what a jimmy is#so#scheduled post
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the whole "cats choose their owners" thing is really funny to me because ivy very much did NOT choose me. she was a slightly dim-witted and very rambunctious feral kitten, and that combination led to her getting herself stuck inside an old chipmunk nest halfway down the steep bank of the creek by my parents' house. from there she proceeded to scream her head off until both my mom and i came out to see what on earth was making all that racket, then we excavated her out of that hole like a sad little potato. she was grateful for the rescue, but definitely NOT grateful for the ensuing flea baths and conversion to indoor cat life at my apartment, which she reminds me of regularly. ivy i'm sorry for saving you from an early death due to predation/disease/cars, but can you stop biting me every day of my life please
#even every other day would be an improvement.#i do in fact take her out for leashed walks regularly when the weather is tolerable but it hasn't been possible for months and she's FED UP#however. i say all this but she routinely climbs into my lap for naps & greets me at the door purring & headbutting every time i come home#so clearly she's not that unhappy. her tolerance for regular cat-owner shenanigans however is essentially non-existent.#after 6 years though i can read her like a book. i know exactly how many head smooches i can get in before she gets too annoyed#and exactly how long she wants to be held when i come home before she wants to be put down#and exactly what she means when she 'gently' chews on my ankles ('play with me now or i'll bite harder')#but strangers on the other hand? guests in my home? my beloved human friends? they do not speak her language.#and the margin for error with her is razor thin. if you don't listen immediately when she says 'stop touching me' she will go from lovey#to SCRATCHING YOU BITING YOU HISSING HISSING HISSING almost immediately.#i have tried everything to convince her that's unnecessary but i think she is just SO sensitive she can't handle it#but i still love her so much. i understand her and she understands me. idk WHAT i'm gonna do when she eventually dies i'm gonna be a wreck.#in a lot of ways we are SUPER similar. i also lash out when i'm overstimulated & i also have a much lower threshold for that#than most people.#i get it.
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sloppy doodles (storyboard for when im not too lazy to draw) of them in this situation because this would definitely happen (after ryan cut off dylans arm)
#🧃 ˗ˋ ୨ zephs rambling (>。☆)#the quarry dylan#the quarry game#the quarry#the quarry ryan#ryan#ryan ezrahler#kaitlyn ka#kaitlyn#the quarry kaitlyn#rylan#blood loss#arm cutting is not a love language#(or maybe it is..)#we'll never know#ignore the fact dylan has a black eye#he looked too much like steve harrington so i tried to switch it up#then i realised he looked even more like steve harrington during s3#but arent steve and dylan just the same character?#im adding too many tags now#i should stop#how do i bring myself to stop rambling#i dont know#im just gonna end it here
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20 and 24 for the ask game pls 🙏
Thank you for asking! :3
20- did Light deserve to die at the end?
Interesting question to answer, because we in the system apparently can't agree on this. I (🏹) am the one answering this ask, however, and my opinion is that he did not. Elaboration on my thought process:
If allowed to be tried through official channels / the regular justice system, Light would almost certainly have faced the death penalty, which I think would not have been "deserved", because I am not in favour of giving any government body any power over life and death to begin with. A step further, I don't know exactly how one would go about rehabilitating him if one didn't want to go the "simply keep him imprisoned and isolated from society at large" route, but I suspect making him safe for the average person to be around would be as easy as taking the Death Note away from him (he never tried to kill anyone using any other weapons, even at the very end; he's not the hands-on murder type, and clearly has a moral code of some sort / does not kill completely at random). Hardly a "this man needs to be executed for the common good" situation.
Light's death was effectively Ryûk's decision, made because "Light got boring" (and if not killed, would have simply languished in prison forever or been death penaltied anyway), which I think is a shit reason to kill anybody -- even accounting for the fact that Ryûk is a shinigami with moral standards inapplicable to human beings. It wasn't even a mercy killing, Light didn't want to die. Not deserved in that sense either.
However: I will acknowledge that Light dying was the most narratively satisfying way for Death Note to end, and other guys in here are absolutely cheering for the answer to be "yes he deserved it so much!! Then Perish!!", so... make of this what you will.
24- any headcannons you want to share?
immediately forgets every headcanon we've ever held about anybody in Death Note, oh no
Most of the headcanons I can think of right now come from a very specific crackfic AU we have with our best friend @xenomorphvevo, and are perhaps too crack-y and in-jokey to be transposable to non-lolrandomxD Death Note (such as Near's favourite Bionicle being named Johannes Mikael Hoffnung more about that in the tags)...
but! In one of our current WIPs Near is very skilled with lucid dreaming for plot purposes, and I think that would make sense outside of said WIP too. Like, he strikes me as the type to experiment with his own mind, why not with his dreams? And he would likely get really good at it over the years.
[Death Note ask game]
#saltposting#ask#death note#ask game#biscuit-o#This was fun thank you!!#by the way if you're interested in the Johannes Mikael Hoffnung thing: that is because in the crackfic AU#Near has many special interests including in the German language AND in Bionicles#and therefore has been giving all of his 431-and-counting Bionicles extremely German names for years and years.#Johannes Mikael Hoffnung is his favourite of course; and he named one after L too when he was very young; but who can forget#Sara Madeline Müller and Kleiner Grüner Kaktus and Nena and Rainer Maria Rilke and Bill Kaulitz. Among others.#(Can you tell we have a degree in German literature and are very much injecting small details of things we learned into our blorbo here?)#He also has a bootleg Bionicle named Juan Miguel Esperanza that Mello brought back for him from a trip to Mexico.#I do not in fact think ANY of this transposes well to more canon-oriented endeavours but it is very funny to me.#xenomorphvévo je te tag parce que les bionicles de Near c'est très important :°
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thinking about the identity crisis i went though as a kid cuz my parents had told me very simply that my mom was pashtun and my dad was punjabi and they were both from peshawar and that was that. understandably they had simplified it so much for me cuz i was a kid, but whenever other brown people asked where i was from or "what are you" and i mentioned punjabi and they'd be like oh wow where? lahore? and i'd just be like nope lol peshawar and they would press me about how my dad could be punjabi if he was from peshawar and i just didn't have an answer. when i got a little older, i started saying well borders are manmade, you don't necessarily have to be from one ethnicity cuz you're from a certain area (and i was right! i just didn't know at the time why i was right).
as i got older and i found out more about our family background, it all made more sense to me as i came to know that the punjabi side of us was allegedly from a great-great-great grandfather from gurdaspur who had moved to bannu way back when. but as my interest in linguistics and anthropology and history grew, i realized that my old explanation of "borders are manmade" was true anyway!!! prime examples being speakers of Hindko and Derawali, as well as the Hazarewal community in general. anyways, i could go on about this, but it's all just so endlessly fascinating that i wouldn't know where to stop so i'll stop now.
#also thinking about the fact that my dads family speaks derawali / seraiki and i keep wondering how his family managed to maintain such a#strong punjabi identity despite being only a fraction punjabi 'by blood' and living in kpk for generations#their ancestral home is in bannu and they have no ties to gurdaspur anymore as far as i know#and we have more recent kashmiri and tibetan ancestors but that gets completely overlooked (that could prob be for patriarchal reasons too#since i rmr my dad once saying 'you are what your dad is' which is so stupid and makes no sense. made me roll my eyes so hard)#but anyways im wondering if any of his great-grandparents or whoever were originally from bannu/surrounding areas and thats why they kept#the language OH BUT IM ALSO REMEMBERING NOW my grandma grew up in gujarat (present day pakistan) and also both my grandparents lived in#qadian in india for quite some time in their youth bc they were ahmadi#wondering how many of my other ancestors lived in qadian as well since they all very strongly identify as ahmadi#qadian is in punjab so maybe they married people there as well!!!#anyways just... so many unanswered questions!
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seeing posts abt rock’s german voice reminded me that i recorded his voice lines so
here’s “ach ja? ;)”
#sos awl#rock tumbling (sos)#bokumono#the fact that the game was dubbed in so many languages is so funny to me#thank you to youhavetofarmatleast for german lessons#oh yea? and then what? ;) kills him kills him kills him kills him forever (affectionate)#don’t worry his laugh is bizarre to make up for it#this is the voice line that my non sos playing friend heard and she got flustered#very upsetting rock should not have that effect on women. he’s too slimy#rock (awl)#harvest moon rock#rock sosawl#sos rock#hm rock
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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