#too bad too many fics already
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Tired from phd thesis writing gonna think about this again
... Yikes I thought a lot about this AU
No OP Esper powers but there's still experiment bullshit. Love me some fucked up science to cope with my basic science life.
The Level 5s are a military experiment to develop enhanced super soldiers I fucking guess.
The #1 started off as their first and only all-round success. His reflexes are so strong that he's essentially untouchable. A single punch is stronger than a cannon. He moves faster than bullets. Idk. Think the most ridonkulus abilities ever.
Yes I know it's wild that Accelerator went from twink who relied on his reflection powers to someone who's essentially the strongest fighter in the world.
The #2 trained together with #1, but his specs fell short despite going through the same training regime.
The researchers decided that successfully replicating all of #1's specs was a pipe dream, so they started training other Level 5s with some sort of specialization.
#3 has lightning fast reflexes (heh, get it?). She prefers fighting with quick successive strikes, though her "signature move" is something like Saitama's "single normal punch". It wrecks her arm every time she uses it though. Her muscle fibers are durable enough to withstand constant wear and tear from moving quickly, but not a single explosive strike like that.
#4 replicated #1's overall strength. While #3's general output is limited (in Level 5 terms), #4 can dish out those explosive strikes without damaging her body right away. And even if her bones literally break and her muscles tear, she can keep fighting anyway. Girls' got the highest pain tolerance of all the Level 5s.
#5 replicated, and even exceeded, #1's charisma and persuasive ability. Think "sweet talking" but cranked up by 500. Also she's still the least athletic, but because of all the drugs and experiments she's still strong enough to tank punches from a grown man. Doesn't mean she likes it.
#6 was a genius and got the fuck out years ago lol
#7 wasn't actually a lab guinea pig that grew up under the experiments. He was brought in because he naturally had these aptitudes. The higher ups couldn't control him though and he destroyed every facility he was brought to, so they just left him alone.
The ranks are just based on when they started the training regime. It doesn't have anything to do with strength lol.
The Level 5 candidates from canon (specifically Junko and Takitsubo because I don't want to think about the others) were the "next generation" meant to replicate a specific Level 5's capabilities. I'm throwing Kinuahata in this group too. ITEM's stacked.
Mikoto still gets her DNA misused, though the "Level 6 Shift" project gets accelerated in this AU. The experimenters started with one, a dozen, and then amped it up to over a hundred Sisters to dogpile Accelerator. It's not as much of a curbstomp as canon, but he still beats them.
The Sisters have similar capabilities as Mikoto, though their specs are also downgraded.
Alright, that's for powers and shit. Now for relationships:
Accelerator and Kakine were part of the same training group, while Mikoto, Shokuhou, and Mugino came after them.
Mikoto is dense AF. Specifically, Shokuhou lowkey grew attached to her. Because of the two other girls, Mikoto was just slightly less batshit murder crazy than Mugino.
After they reached a certain point in their development, the researchers let them mingle with the outside world. Everyone went off on their own, and Shokuhou never spoke up about wanting to stay with Mikoto.
Mikoto enrolled in the same university and met Kuroko. Idk the details of the start of their friendship and I probably won't until the current Railgun manga hashes out their relationship, but let's just say they became good friends.
Kuroko comes from a wealthy family and is trying to pursue a career in law.
Kuroko also introduces Mikoto to her friends Saten and Uiharu.
Their friendship becomes strained when Mikoto learns about this AU's equivalent of the Level 6 Shift. Her first meeting with Accelerator went... bad.
Basically, parried and countered her strongest attack so fast and effortlessly that Mikoto didn't even realize she was knocked into a coma for a week until she woke up.
She does a similar strategy as canon and tries to destroy all the research facilities involved in it, but she's frequently intercepted by Accelerator himself.
Idk how the project gets stopped honestly. Maybe some teamup with Kakine (because he's so damn petty).
But Mikoto is arrested for property damage and all sorts of other things, and doesn't explain the situation to Kuroko (a junior officer on the case).
Shokuhou bails Mikoto out of jail and finally confesses her old repressed feelings.
Mikoto decides to leave Japan with Misaka 10032.
Did I just Kogami Shinya-fy Mikoto? Yes.
She'll be back 7 years later. Shit happens between Shokuhou and Kuroko. I'll think about this later.
Modern AU with Vigilante/mafia Mikoto x Senator Misaki x Officer Kuroko...
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i tire of posts complaining about the quality of other people's writing. a) this discourages new writers from sharing their work. b) fanfiction is free. c) you're killing the vibe and the whimsy. d) go do it yourself if everyone sucks so bad. bitchass
#this isn't targeted at anyone i just feel like i see these sorts of posts so often in general recently#we are missing out on so many fun concepts and fics because we can't shut the fuck up about “good” writing#i want to post mid fic this year. bad fic even. perhaps you wish to say “morgan your fic is already mid/bad” but i am not listening#i want us to stop being fucking obsessed with quality all the damn time. sometimes being earnest is enough!!!!!!!!#don't get me wrong#i will continue to work very hard on my writing#but i want to indulge in doing Less some of the time too
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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i finally deleted twitter! it sucks that i’ve lost that little corner of the fandom, but it didn’t make sense to maintain once it was in musk’s hands, so this was long overdue. i will always credit the skam fandom that i found over there back in 2017 for shaping me as a writer, as well as for inspiring me to travel. i know it was considered a toxic place for the fandom even back then, but it was a platform i grew up with and could communicate on, which meant i connected with some very lovely people. i was devastated when my original account was suspended back in like, 2021? because i had lost a lot of early writing and some friends who had moved on to other fandoms at that point. but i tried to take screenshots of what i had left. a lot of my links to twitter won’t work now, either, but that’s what you get when you depend on someone else as an archival tool.
anyway, a couple of years ago i was thinking about even’s notebook and that became these tweets below the cut. my shorter ideas might end up here now, or on bluesky.
#where’s that community meme where she’s like i can excuse racism but not animal abuse or something#apparently i could tolerate musk’s fascism but i drew the line at AI#and it wasn’t even a line because it’s already too late#if you’re on twitter now#you’re feeding your work into generative AI training#and i don’t want to do that with my own thoughts or even screenshots of what julie created#but it’s super hard to delete an internet presence because it feels like that’s all that’s left of me#if i’m not on the internet then do i even exist#probably why i have so many rules for what i post#my way of controlling my existence in a world that is spinning out#anyway rip to all the fics that started as twitter threads#i wouldn’t have anything if i couldn’t scratch them out over there first#tumblr and bluesky and ao3 are mostly it now#i do have an instagram but meta is nearly as bad#ugh just email me#oof and i have to delete links in bios too#um i guess this is kerrywrites
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i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve
but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie
#steve rogers#mcu#anti endgame#why am i still rewriting this movie five years later#really though i think i rmr just trying to work through it all#and a lot of the meta i was reblogging initially still wasn't really accurate to endgame or the rest of the mcu#like they were still making steggy more important than it canonically was while trying to explain why it was a bad ending#and it's kind of like you can say steve would respect that peggy had a life and wouldn't interfere with it but that's about it like#going on about how he DID love her so much and just wouldn't be selfish enough to do those things#or that she was soooo important to his moral compass (hence why so many fic writers had her telling him to go back to bucky lol insanity)#are just not accurate lmao i do think much as she may be rightfully disliked#while canonically he did not LOVE her he did respect her even if we think that's annoying bc she's an asshole to him in catfa#but yeah no he had a moral compass before her i understand what people were going for with the compass being symbolic but like....#any time she said anything did he listen? except for maybe when she told him he was meant for more? it really doesn't seem like it#nor did he need it! jesus! the whole point of catfa is he was chosen for a REASON he was already a good man#he did not need peggy 'sure i'll let nazis into shield' carter to teach him shit#but yeah it was bc i followed one stucky blog at the time who was reblogging a lot of good shit but a lot of that nonsensical shit too#and i was just reblogging it all bc everything sounded better than endgame#and i really did start seeing more of the discussions around peggy where her culpability in catws hadn't even occurred to me#bc i was so in fic from the beginning of joining fandom that not only was their relationship made as impt as stucky#it was also made out like what happened to shield was hurting her legacy and it's like...but she had to have at least SOME responsibility#and yeah eventually it's like okay no it's not just that steve wouldn't Do That it's also that they would've been a terrible couple#and not only would he not be so selfish but he wouldn't give up everything for HER lmao but he would've for bucky as was shown over and ove
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i need a kaishin fanfic with the title "how do you hold a moonbeam in your hand" so badddd
#kaishin#been listening to sound of music#and Maria has so many lines that can be used as a fic title#for example i think “she's a headache she's an angel she's a girl” would be a good one#“how do you keep the wave upon the sand” or something like that lol#BUT ANYWAY “HOLD DO YOU HOLD A MOONBEAN IN YOUR HAND” IS KAISHIN IDC IDC I WANT IT SO BAD#honestly it sounds kinda angsty it's like shinichi is struggling with how to handle being in a relationship with kid/kaito#oooooohhhh#BUT I WANT FLUFF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#dc prattles#*i meant moonbeam there but im too lazy to rewrite lmao ✋😔#ALSO IF THIS EXISTS ALREADY PLS TELL ME I HAVE A NEED 🤲🙏
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(follow-up to this)
having grown up in atlas, weiss is very familiar with the academy's team anti-frat policy and gets very hung up on just how much trouble they could get in if anyone thinks they're dating.
(which they're definitely not doing. no, sir. absolutely not, sir.)
so better safe than sorry.
(except winter has eyes. and also doesn't care.)
#snowstorm vampire au#weiss schnee#nora valkyrie#nordic winter#rwby#rwby au#winter schnee#this may have been an excuse to draw winter okay don't @ me i've neevr drawn her before and once i realized this fit the sitch i had to#weiss (upon being properly lucid): wait they saw?? PENNY SAW?!?!?! we are going to be in SO MUCH TROUBLE OH MY GODS#(they're not. honey. you are riding so many exceptions right now this barely registers)#heavens forgive me im shitposting about my own fic aksbskdbsnsdn#kina draws#ssvau future spoilers#though they're probably not too bad there's just a lot a details thart raise a lot of questions i cannot answer right now#ignore the mix of volume hairstyles and stuff i had to choose practicality over spoilers assume nothing is canon until proven otherwise#*shrugs* i mean its a military academy thry probably have anti frat rules im running with it#did i spend too much time thinking about the initial comic to the point where is't baaaaasically canon. maybe hush now.#also like. weiss has already broken so many rules why would she hang on to this one specific one?#well you see when you're repressing your feelings for the girl who's save your life a million times you'll take whatever wall you can build#arc ii hiatus
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I loved how smitten Yo Han is in your newest fic. How soft he tries to be for Ga On, especially at the end with the hug. The love and understanding between the two is so incredibly presented. It's something we needed after everything these two have been through, in the show and in the slow burn of Who Holds the Devil.
I would have loved to see how Yo Han got his revenge and how it all played out because if there's one thing we know, it's that he will make sure he pays it back.
I will spread the gospel of Sappy Old Man Yo Han until the day I die. Especially in a fic like this, when I can write his most vicious and violent sides, and contrast them with his most tender and caring ones. Because he is so incredibly soft for Ga On, yes. And I love the fact that Yo Han has learned to embrace that, too — and is kind of proud of it, even? That's growth right there!
Aaaaand yeah. This is a nice change from the agony that is Who Holds the Devil — for me as well x'D
I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Who Holds the Devil, but I'm not a big fan of angst. I prefer the kind of soft and domestic fluff I could write in It Is Mine to Avenge. We'll eventually get to that in Who Holds the Devil, too, it's just that it's going to take a while still...
You're not the first to say that you would like to see what happens next, but I'm afraid I have no plans to write that. I feel no urge to continue since I've already told the story I wanted to tell, and forcing it is usually a very bad idea. Not to mention that I'm terrified at the thought of having to come up with a suitably complex and bombastic plot for Yo Han to execute x'D He's a lot more imaginative than I am.
(Also, I already have so many other projects I want to work on >_> )
But what I can say is that I think he'll be targeting Nam Hyung Soo's reputation first — to ruin his image and credibility with the public — and then frame him for something that'll get him thrown into prison for the foreseeable future. It's just neater that way, since fewer people will protest or try to have him released again if everyone hates him.
So yes, Yo Han will definitely make sure to get his revenge.
Thank you so, so much for your kind words! Take care 💜
#Amethystina Replies#Anonymous#I thought I had answered all of my asks but turns out I had missed this one#Sorry about that#God I really have so many projects#And I keep getting ideas for new ones#Giving myself permission to think of other Devil Judge plots might have been a bad idea x'D#Because now I keep getting distracted#But I also love the fics I'm already working on#And want to write on those too#All while I'm still struggling with burnout#Life is so unfair T____T
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the comments on my fics are some of the only things holding me together rn
#grammar? i hardly know her#The Author Of This Text Post Has Chosen Not To Use Archive Warnings#i still have my kidney stone i am suffering from the side effects of the flowmax i was prescribed i am sick bc my sister coughed in my#face last week when i was bathing her my period just started i am jobless and i'm on the last crumbs of my savings which are currently bein#eaten by medical bills i likely have to move the rent is being increased by $300 bc the landlord is a pos both sides of my family are strug#and i'm anxious about other family/health stuff and my friend is having a Really bad time and there's nothing i can do to help them and#i'll stop there i've already overshared enough#negative /#complaining /#period mention /#tmi /#fuck if i move out of state what am i gonna do about my credits i was gonna try and take the last few courses to finish my degree#....................#the reason i didn't do it this year was bc i couldn't afford it hahfhdshcfdfggfbfggffg...........#rip i guess haha ..................#i have some appointments w new drs next month and i hope i can pay the copay at each of them. it's literally $4....... yet i........#and i need to see some other ones too bc there r too many things wrong w me apparently. cool#life isn't that great rn but i will figure it out eventually#or maybe i won't#whatever i guess#opening the fic comments again i need to feel soemthign that isn't shitty feelings#scarlett.txt
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gojo time travel. gojo time loop. gojo future vision. gojo dimension travel. ok excellent. now put my disaster man getou in situations
#PLSSS i need him to be the one to go back in time soso bad it wld be SUCH a disaster#i need to see the effect it wld have on his fucked up little mind#jjk#getou suguru#aphelion.txt#ive seen a few time travel fics with suguru there just. arent enough.#and no longfic of it really#this is where i get in danger of trying to write it myself#i want to study him under a microscope like a bug#suguru#jujutsu kaisen#the jujukai brainrot has been very severe this week#i dont think ive ever seen anyone put him in a timeloop. pls i need it. it wld crack his fragile psyche like glass#I HAVE TOO MANY WIPS ALREADY. DONT LET THE PLOT BUNNY BITE ME.#🐉
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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am i dead? no. do i kinda wish i was? sure.
idk if its because of playing ffxiv(*), or because of adhd(***) or because of poor time management or because i live alone and have to do all the chores all the time all alone, but i do not understand what should i do ti have time for everything i want to do. i have so little obligations outside of 9hr work day but i just dont have time!!! for basic things!!!!!! and i hate this
#the problem is capitalism#sure ofc it always is#but i can rarely do more than 2 things a day#like groceries and drawing#or cooking and playing#or reading fic and reading smth else#and i hate that i have to decide every fking day what to do#i also hate planning these basic things it should be all vibes!!!#yeah i decided id cook today but the vibes ain't right so we are going to go listen to a podcast for 2 hrs in a park and apparently starve#re: ffxiv its not its fault it's just too comforting and relaxing so i opt for it instead of many things including diff games#sorry for the rant but also not sorry at all#this week is just awful already and i just need to get through it#and maybe go get diagnosed and medicated but not in this country 🙄#my stuff#delete later#and the coursge to leave my shitty office job and try something anything diff like retail or mushroom grower or dying#no-job-summer sounds so good but would it be worth it or is this some kind of spring psychosis speaking#we just dont know dot gif#it also feels incredibly irrelevant bc i have so many good things abd dont appreciate them when thousands of people literally die and suffer#and im just a little bad in the head 👍
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Just came across a newsletter thing for another fandom I am absolutely not a part of but I must say that I'm envious. Organised links to various fandom contributions in the form of short fic, long fic, images/videos/audio AND fandom discussions -- and there's a big handful of each and it's updated regularly and it's all recent stuff that covers different aspects of their fannish experience in different platforms.
Why can't we have that
#absolutely not tagging this today. also it is an unfair comparison since it's a much older show with a much larger fanbase#but still a girl can sit and brood and seethe with envy LOL#anyway. would be cool to have a hub of the sort.#and i shouldn't be here but listen i've rewritten the first page of the next fic so many times already that i've lost count#i needed to come here and do nothing for a second okay#silly blabbering#i do have some stuff to post but i'm saving it for now. might just do what i do with my drabbles and choose a day in the week for them#one essay is ready; i need to proofread and correct it. there's a silly picspam to post and another i'm building up with inane commentary#there's one more complete gifset. two drabbles in the queue for this week and the next.#hey not too bad for someone who hasn't been sleeping is it?
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For anyone else who is a fan of self-inserting, do you ever encounter a character that you actually think you as a person would have a very interesting relationship dynamic with (and not necessarily in a romantic way)?
#personally I think I'm the personality equivalent of blancmange#so this hasn't really happened before#I mean I had it a little bit with Shin in that we're very different people but never to the point I wanted to explore it much in fic#outside of a bad ending context (whoops)#but there is a genshin character that again I am very different from but have some interesting parallels with#and part of my brain is like huh wouldn't it be neat to explore this in writing#but then the other part of me feels like that would be somewhat narcissitic#and then there's the fact I have too many WIPs already ^^;;#something small is on the way I just needed to rest tonight as rl as left me pretty burned out#but I cannot take a day off for at least the next two weeks because I have responsibilities :)#right time for me to attempt to get some rest#I will delete this later I'm just tired and needed to ramble into the void a bit
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I thought I'd keep my Emotional Support Fic Yearly Reread for september/october when I'll be stressed out of my mind living alone with paperwork and schoolwork to do but actually I think right now is a good time
#the first time i read it was what. two and a half years ago?#i was in a very different (worse) place but i still need my cloth fanfic y'know#because i'm already stressed out about paperwork and living arrangements and mental & physical health#the fic is pacify btw. it's good to focus on someone else's struggles and pain and recovery#especially when those other someones are not real people and i don't have to really feel bad they're going through atrocious shit#also the songs i associate with the fic (which are many) are songs i don't want to listen to too much outside of pacify rereads#they're really good i just try not to listen to them without pacify because i don't want to stop associating them with the fic#they're - i've already said it but they're split in three parts#one that runs from the start to that moment in the tower during the battle#then from there til the evil is vainquished in the coolest way possible#and then til the end of part 7 since the author is still still working on part 8#so part one is handmade heaven - fear and loathing - karma‚ all by marina#part two is nobody and washing machine heart by mitski#and part three is the 7 minute version of plastic love by mariya takeuchi and happy by mitski#the songs don't actually fit the fic that much but they fit it in my head by association so whatever#hopefully i'll manage to finish my diptych project thing this summee#summer* ugh#anyway back to reading#i've reached the bit where Someone is made aware that some people have an expiration date and go fuck it we ball#not giving names because last time i did that i had to defend myself before a jury of my mutuals and i don't need that right now#it's just. it's a good part. well no it sucks for everyone it's the part that hurts (half of the fic) but like. it's good#wow i have a ramble tag now
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