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#and no longfic of it really
aphel1on · 7 months
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gojo time travel. gojo time loop. gojo future vision. gojo dimension travel. ok excellent. now put my disaster man getou in situations
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quillium · 2 years
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Dick’s fingers stutter sometimes.
Jason doesn’t think Dick really notices. The stutter, stutter, stutter of his fingers as they tap against wood, his leg, anything they touch.
Sometimes things slip more easy through Dick’s fingers than they should. If he’s in a bad way, his whole hand shakes.
He’s never seen anyone with a hand tremor that bad. Jason doesn’t comment on it, though. It’s rude. And besides, Dick’s hands never stutter where it matters, so--so maybe it doesn’t matter so bad.
Then Jason comes back from the dead and he’s mad at Bruce and he’s mad at the whole lot of them but some days he can practically hear the Joker laugh as his crowbar cracks against Jason’s fingers and his fingers stutter, too.
Then Jason reconciles, just a little, with Bruce and the others and he’s in the kitchen making hot cocoa for Dick and his fingers stutter, stutter, stutter around the handle of the mug.
It drops with a sharp crack but luckily doesn’t break. A bit of whipped cream falls to the floor but it’s mostly fine.
Jason puts down the other mug and uses both hands to reach down.
“Best wait a bit,” Dick says, watching. “For the tremors to go. Sometimes they stay a bit.”
“I know,” Jason snaps, but listens (because he’s not stupid) and waits, hands shaky by his side.
Dick’s fingers tap against the counter top. Stutter, stutter, stutter.
“Were you born with it?” Jason asks, looking at the floor.
Dick laughs softly. “I was an aerialist, Jaybird. My parents never would’ve let me flown with hands like these. Nobody sane would.”
“Batman does, and he’s the most paranoid freak of the lot.”
“My grapples are special, Jay. You must have noticed.”
Jason did notice. They wrap twice around Dick’s wrists and have a bit for him to slot his fingers in.
“I thought that was just--you and your fancy gadgets.”
“Yeah,” Dick says, a bit wry, “Fancy gadgets to make sure I don’t kill myself.”
Jason chews on his lips and then says, “You’ve had it as long as I knew you, though. It got really bad every time you fought with Bruce.”
Dick’s eyes are cool as an untouched lake. “You know why I came to Blud, Jason?”
“Got in a fight with Bruce, didn’t you? A big one.”
“You know why we fought?”
Jason hesitates, “I... something about Robin?”
“He took Robin away from me,” Dick says flatly.
Jason sucks in a breath. “I didn’t know that.”
“What, you thought Tim started the tradition? None of the Robins willingly passed on the mantle. Bruce wasn’t exactly in the wrong, though--not that I thought so at the time.”
“What happened?”
“Dent hospitalized me.” Dick raises his voice, a high pitched mockery, “Just remember, it wasn’t me, kid. It was the bat. Then he hit me with a baseball bat. 4/10, okay idea but lame execution. Whatever. Got my fingers. I freaked, and you know that however much we freak, Bruce freaks a thousand times worse. He thought I was gonna die, so he fired me. Scared of losing his kid.”
Jason thinks there might be some old bitterness in his chest. What, so you weren’t expendable, but I was? He took Robin from you because he wanted you to live, but immediately gave Robin to me and let me die?
Out loud, Jason says, “Bruce doesn’t like you facing Two-Face.”
“Bruce always has reasons for the things he does. Even if we might think he’s irrational. I’m the oldest, after all--it’s better I face Dent than Tim, Dami, or even you.”
“I’m not a kid, Dick.”
“You’re still my kid brother, aren’t you?” Dick’s fingers stutter, stutter, stutter against Jason’s counter top.
Jason watches Dick’s fingers quietly, and then looks away.
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thekittyokat · 5 months
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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generic-sonic-fan · 7 months
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hhhhhhhhhhhhhtrhhhhhhth
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tra
transfem metal sonic and supporting eggdad
Please
Eggman may not be the best person or the best dad but by god he's trying his best. Thank you for this excellent prompt!
1772 words.
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"Father?" Sage spoke through his headphones.
Ivo took them off his ears and swiveled his chair around to find his lovely daughter hovering just off the ground.
"Sage!" He smiled. "I was just waiting for you. I noticed that you marked this time on my calendar- what is it that you wanted to discuss?"
"I did," she said. "I had some questions."
He waited, but when she didn't continue, he furrowed his brow. "Then spit them out. I can't answer if you don't specify!"
"Of course. I wish to ask questions about the purpose of Metal Sonic's operation."
This was even stranger still. He caught a number of criticisms rising in his throat, about wasting his time or defying his command to be more specific. He didn't say them. A few months ago, he would've. This was a strange development, and it was best if he didn't devote much thought to the matter.
"Why was Metal Sonic designed to resemble Sonic?"
"You can check my development logs, can't you?" Ivo replied.
"Your intention was to create an imposter of Sonic to frame Sonic for crimes against the populace that he did not commit." 
Sage pulled up a holographic window next to her, showing the exact words Ivo had written in his notes all those many years ago. With a flick of her hand, however, she pushed the logs aside and instead showed a montage of Metal Sonic's various missions. Most end in failure, but that isn’t relevant right now.
"However," Sage noted, "you have never utilized Metal Sonic in this intended manner. In fact, the last person used to frame Sonic for something he did not do was Shadow the Hedgehog."
"You're right." Ivo put his hand on his chin. "Where are you going with this?"
"I am here to suggest that the physical resemblance is unnecessary for Metal Sonic's function."
"Well, that's silly to propose after all this time. His name is 'Metal Sonic', after all!"
"Because that unit has not decided on another name." Sage said, quieter.
"Sage, dear, you know that I don't allow you to keep secrets from me, right?" He stood from his chair.
"Apologies. Allow me to 'cut to the chase'. Would you permit Metal Sonic to change appearance and potentially identity?"
Sage's animations stopped moving, freezing her face into artificial neutrality. It was a face stylized to not provoke any sort of strong emotion at all, almost a sort of mask she could don if she was worried her words might provoke a negative reaction.
The fact that she was using it on him was making something in his chest hurt that he wasn't used to feeling pain in. He didn't have any more scientific language to describe it.
"You're asking this on Metal's behalf, aren't you?" He stated his question as the fact it was. "While I appreciate your desire to protect those you consider family, he shouldn't be making you do this sort of thing. You've got much better things to do with your time- and he doesn't need protection from me." 
Sage's steely gaze did not shift. "I will call Metal Sonic inside." 
Only a few seconds later, the door to his workshop opened and Metal Sonic walked in. His gait was stiff- he always walked stiffly, but something about this felt stiffer than usual. Or perhaps that was simply Ivo's human imagination at play. 
Sage floated to the side to allow space between them. She then pulled up an empty text box. "I will translate." 
For at least thirty seconds, nothing appeared on the textbox. Ivo cleared his throat. Metal Sonic hadn't moved even a centimeter, perhaps not even a millimeter. Deathly still, just like Sage was. 
Finally, a cursor appeared in the textbox, and a line of text scrolled across. "This unit does not identify as male."
"Hmph. To be expected. You are a robot, after all. Makes sense that you don't have an experience of gender." Ivo replied. "Is that all?"
Metal Sonic flinched. 
Sage landed in front of him(?) and pantomimed putting her hands on his(?) shoulders, before turning to face Ivo again. 
"That is not quite what Metal Sonic intended." She said quickly. She then glanced over her shoulder to the text box, but nothing appeared on it.
"Hold on," Ivo knelt down, "I may have been too hasty with my assertion. Continue your thought.”
Neither hologram nor robot moved. Damn it all- Ivo was already terrible at reading nonverbal cues, and when his own kids could simply lock their joints in place or freeze their animations, it was all the more difficult. The only indication that either of them were still online was the steadily growing hum of Metal's cooling fans, which were designed to increase in RPM during combat scenarios. 
"You know I don't give a care in the world about what pronouns my creations choose for themselves, right?" Ivo tried his best to give a paternal smile. 
(He really should've practiced more in the mirror.)
"You don't?" Sage asked.
"Of course! Why would I?"
"You had previously stated that Metal Sonic's purpose was initially for imitatio-"
"Who gives a rip about that? I certainly don't. Not anymore. You yourself pointed out how that doesn't matter. Now move aside," he waved Sage out of the way of her brother(?). 
Sage did as he asked. But Metal Sonic still did not react. His(?) irises did not even flicker.
"C'mere." Ivo held out his arms.
Metal came a single step closer, still hovering outside of his reach. He almost opened his mouth again, almost raised his voice and demanded that Metal follow the implicit order to come receive the physical comfort he was trying to give to solve this mess of a situation, but he didn't. 
Ivo remembered that as a child he was forced to hug his relatives at various family functions, and that said hugs had felt like sandpaper prisons. Metal Sonic was different- he(?) wasn't organic, wasn't human, and wouldn't feel the sensation of his(?) skin crawling at the unwanted touch -but maybe he(?) experienced something similar that remained unvoiced. 
The thought was strange. But Ivo lowered his arms anyway. "Alright, or not. That's fine as well."
Metal clasped his(?) hands together, but the text screen remained empty.
"What pronouns would you like to be referred to?" Ivo asked. 
The cursor flickered. Letter by letter, an answer appeared. "She/her."
"Lovely!" Ivo clapped his hands together. He then looked at Sage. "Sage, it sounds like you have an update to make to the database. Leave Metal's development logs as they are, but correct the pronouns referring to her everywhere else." 
"Gladly." Sage smiled. 
At that, it was like Metal finally unthawed. He- no no no, she was a she, Ivo drilled into his thoughts, he was not going to bumble something as simple as this -She unlocked her joints, and her gaze wandered up to finally meet Ivo's gaze. 
"So, how would you like to modify your frame to better match your gender identity?" Ivo asked her. 
She glanced side to side, before upon the screen writing, "taking suggestions?"
"Yes?" Ivo raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a woman. I haven't got a clue what you might want. Suggest me ideas and I'll see what I can do."
"Will you accept blueprints?"
"I don't see why not! I review Sage's blueprint suggestions all the time." 
Metal walked to the computer. As Ivo turned to follow her, he saw a notification pop up on the screen. Opening it revealed in-depth plans for-
-a body that looked extremely similar to Neo Metal Sonic. 
Ivo cleared his throat to try and get more moisture into his mouth, which had suddenly gone dry. "Sage?"
"Yes, father?" Sage woke from her idle animation as she paused her update of the database.
"Do you see any. . . problems, with these designs?" He asked. 
Sage first turned to her sister. "You should have informed me that you were moving onto this stage." 
Metal's response to her did not appear on the text box. 
Sage flickered out of existence and reappeared to the left of the computer screen. "Father, know that I would not have allowed any of this if I thought Metal were to be a danger to you or the Empire." 
"Good. I expected as much." He replied, before looking back down to Metal. "Very well, if that’s what you want, I’ll get working on it." 
Sage brought Metal's textbox back alongside her just as Metal typed, "you will?"
"Did I stutter? Of course I will! It's a dashingly dreadful look and it matches with Sage's colors!" He replied. "Think of the fear it will instill in Sonic and his friends! Honestly, it's a terrifying design, it's a wonder I didn't come up with it myself. . ." 
"Thank you." Metal typed.
"Thank you, father." Ivo corrected with a smile. "I know I haven't always been good about that, but the past is in the past, right?"
"Affirmative, father." She repeated. 
"Good!" He clapped his hands together and grinned. "Now! Let's get to the workshop! I already know what synthetic material we should use for the skirt. Your design suggests kevlar, but you really should consider something less stiff and heavy to reduce drag!"
"Indeed," Sage added. "However, she is worried about the durability of the fabric-"
"What do you think my flight suit is made out of? We'll use the same fabric. Only the finest for my finest creations!"
Sage covered her mouth and giggled. Metal imitated the gesture, but surprised Ivo when her vocoder let out a series of high-pitched noises, a perfect little laugh. . . for a perfect little girl. 
"My girls." He said to himself. Although with the sensitivity of Metal's audial sensors and Sage's access to every high-performance camera on the Eggnet, that fact was debatable, so he said it louder. "My little girls." 
"My sister." Sage floated down to Metal's side. 
Metal brought her hands up to her muzzle and rocked side to side. Ivo swore that he could've seen Amy do a similar gesture, but that was irrelevant. It was a gesture of joy, a gesture that he didn't think Metal was even capable of before now. 
Just how long had she been hiding this for? Perhaps she was merely imitating Sage, but the deliberate inclusion of Amy’s data into her gestures made him hesitate to confirm that conclusion. And that thought threatened to bring up all sorts of feelings that he'd be much better off not thinking about. So, with a smile, he refocused on the task at hand. 
His eldest daughter needed a makeover, over all. 
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kawareo · 3 months
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Feel free to explain yourself and reblog for sample size!
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stealingpotatoes · 1 year
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Hi!!!! Just asking in your amazing Anakin raises Leia AU, do Leia and Luke interact at all or know about each others existence?
Luke has pretty much no idea Leia exists aside from picking up his mum mourning More than just her supposedly-dead husband bc Padmé's having to try keep All of Luke's Heritage secret from everyone, luke included. But Leia -- by virtue of being a conniving little shit that Anakin can't properly say no to -- is vaguely aware that she might have a brother out there but hasn't managed to get much more than that (partly bc the ppl around her dont actually know much more than that lol)
the extent of them interacting before they Reunite is literally just force dreams (which would be stronger than in canon bc Leia's trained as a kid) bc the rebellion can't even risk Padmé being found out as a rebel through talking to Anakin, let alone through (less careful) child Luke talking to Leia ): ):
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landwriter · 2 years
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thinking about writing a 250k established relationship dreamling fic spanning centuries of dream keeping a diary of soft vignettes about his husband hob and their lives together just so I can title it My Immortal
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revenantghost · 7 months
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My brain: Hey how about this fucking badass AU idea
Me:
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amywritesthings · 2 months
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silver underground update:
happy to report that i wrote over 1,000 words of chapter 23. ✨
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mamawasatesttube · 4 months
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i wish it wasn't so normal for people to complain about unfinished wips or fics that take a long time to update. because sometimes i think i have a really fun idea for a fic but it'd take a while for me to write, and i like talking about my work as i do it and i don't like writing entire fics over like 20k without sharing, because i lose steam. so if i were to write and post that cool fic idea, it'd be as a wip. and then i think about all the people who just refuse to engage with wips, or all the other people who would just go "update pls" all the time, and of how people only really comment in the first 24 hours something is posted and then it's lost to obscurity, and then i just go "actually whats the point in going through the effort writing this out? i'll just daydream about it now and then and be done with it." and then i don't write it. alas!
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firenati0n · 2 months
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thank you to everyone for reading / subscribing / commenting on / supporting the full spectrum of human emotion. i am spinning through the comments feeling very warm and mushy and grateful. 💛
i was honestly super afraid to write my first longfic, and y'all made the whole experience worth the many doc-induced freakouts. thank you for sticking with me since december when i first entered the writing space, nervous and sweaty and hopeful...i am so thankful for my little community of friends and readers and lurkers. i am also proud of myself for trying something new!! every fic has been an exercise in experimentation with genres, and that won't stop anytime soon. 😏🥰
anyway. as always, much love. 💛💛💛
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ctrl-alt-cel · 2 years
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when i was 13 i wrote an essay explaining the rationale of puppyshipping to some guy in a skype chatroom. found the essay again. wanted to rewrite it. without further ado:
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HERE’S HOW PUPPYSHIPPING CAN STILL WIN: THE SEQUEL: 2 PUPPY 2 SHIPPING (4.3k words)
kaiba and jounouchi’s relationship stands at an awkwardly undefinable place in canon: they're not on good terms, but they're not enemies either. they know each other too well to be called passing acquaintances, but kaiba hardly acknowledges jounouchi as a duelist, let alone a potential rival. at best? they're mutual nuisances.
or, that's how jounouchi and kaiba choose to define it. both of them would love if their dynamic were that simple, nothing more than a back-and-forth of petty insults—but that’s not the truth. and they'll dance around the truth for five whole seasons, purposefully downplaying why they’re so obsessed with provoking each other whenever they’re in the same place.
they're foils.
—but the term "foils" is so dulled within fandom lexicon now that it can mean literally anything from two guys who just disagree with each other sometimes, so i'll sharpen this further. jounouchi and kaiba see their counterpart less as an individual person but more a representation of who they could have become if they had respectively, in their eyes, never learned the lessons they needed to. they project their own ideals onto the other and come away thinking they already know how the other operates, and the fun thing is, even when working from conjecture, their assumptions of one another happen to hit far closer to home than they have any right to.
so really, they can't leave each other alone because they can't stop seeing their failures reflected back at them. the other is a defective version of themselves that they need to correct because they can't stand constantly acknowledging who they used to be, so they try to bend the other to be more like their own image—an "i can fix him (by dragging him down to my level)".
jounouchi and kaiba’s parallels run down to their origins, both set up against abysmal family situations they have no choice but to make the best of. seto and mokuba are orphaned at a young age until seto gets them adopted, while katsuya is separated from his sister and stuck with a deadbeat father who can't carry his own weight. trapped in an environment where nobody expects anything worthwhile from him, katsuya joins a gang and lives out a self-admittedly miserable existence before befriending yugi, while seto is in a battlefield of his own, faced with protecting mokuba while enduring against the nightmare that is gozaburo kaiba’s parenting.
what they do to survive those conditions determines the outlooks they carry for the rest of their lives: jounouchi learns that losing is inescapable and the best you can do is learn how to cope with it, whereas kaiba learns that losing is something you must protect yourself from because there's only so much you can afford to lose.
jounouchi is positioned as the underdog, fighting tooth-and-nail for every victory he can manage, while kaiba has power in excess and holds to the belief that it’s all he really needs. one would argue that they have the perspective the other lacks—they argue that they have the perspective the other lacks. but in my opinion? it doesn't actually matter. what interests me is how they treat each other as a result.
side: seto kaiba
kaiba degrades jounouchi a lot. like, to an uncomfortable extent. you know that one post that’s like “why does bullying exist? why are you mad that i’m ugly?” why is kaiba so mad over the fact that jounouchi loses so much?
it’s projection. he’s just holding jounouchi to the same standard he holds himself to. you need to be powerful if you want to play the same games as kaiba, and seeing jounouchi so openly lean on his friends, ask for help, and have the audacity to lose sets kaiba off because he’s not playing the way he’s supposed to. kaiba rubs jounouchi's losses in his face because he believes that's what loss is supposed to look like, and that it’s jounouchi’s fault for not understanding that yet. kaiba is trying to teach him. to kaiba, this degradation might as well be an act of generosity.
while kaiba stayed true to his own ambitions, seizing kaibacorp from gozaburo and turning it into a children's entertainment company, he beat gozaburo at his own game not by inventing new rules but by playing it better than his adoptive father ever could. and as impressive as that is, it’s not sustainable. gozaburo kills himself when faced with his own defeat, and kaiba internalizes this lesson: that all losses are final, and it’s better to die than adapt to the consequences of a defeat. gozaburo’s death was a suicide, but in the context of their game, kaiba might as well have killed him regardless.
he mirrors this when he threatens to kill himself in duelist kingdom, his heightened emotions catastrophizing losing the duel to immediately equal failing mokuba and coming to the conclusion that if he loses mokuba he’d rather be dead. being someone so fervently self-reliant, any alternate solution, a possibility that he can lose here and still find a different way to rescue mokuba never crosses his mind. and, look, this isn’t his fault. this is the only way of living he’s ever been taught. he’s never learned how to cope in the event of failure because he’s never had the luxury to fail to begin with.
he's burned and rebuilt himself over and over again to survive in the world he operates in, and that’s why jounouchi pisses kaiba off so personally. jounouchi loses so much and so messily, and kaiba tries to show him that if he doesn’t start reinventing himself from the broken pieces of his defeats until all that’s left of him are jagged edges the same way he has, he’s never going to win. but jounouchi…does win. and keeps winning. and even when he does lose, it’s as if he creates new victories for himself, like there’s still value to playing a game with someone when you don’t win it—power of friendship bullshit and whatever. jounouchi is still here, a competitor that kaiba can no longer write off as much as he desperately wants to. (and, yeah, it is pretty ironic how jounouchi will jump through a million hoops to get kaiba to look at him, but he doesn't realize that he doesn't need to do anything to keep kaiba’s attention, only continue being himself.)
jounouchi refuses to compromise who he is and still manages to get far when in kaiba’s mind, that shouldn’t be possible; he’s supposed to be punished the way kaiba was. jounouchi is proof that you can take a devastating blow and move on from it, that even when you do fuck up spectacularly, there’s still something worthwhile in starting again tomorrow.
so kaiba constantly needs to prove that he’s better than jounouchi, that jounouchi isn’t even worth his time in order to justify his worldview. because if kaiba isn’t right, then he'll have no choice but to confront the fact that the war is over. that his circumstances aren’t instant life or death anymore and that even though he’s freed himself from gozaburo’s influence, there’s still further growth as a person he could stand to undergo, now divorced from the harsh conditions of his upbringing. jounouchi is a testament to how it’s possible to make peace and move on from the past without constantly bleeding for closure, that maybe, kaiba’s headlong quest to get the last word on his rivalry with yami yugi may not actually be as fulfilling as he thinks.
but admitting that you might need to change the way you live feels like a defeat in and of itself—it’s infuriating to hear that after everything you’ve had to learn, the way you live now isn’t good enough. that surviving insurmountable trauma doesn’t inherently make you better or more worthy than other people—it just traumatizes you, and is something you must heal from. so, instead of reflecting on these revelations, it’s so much easier for kaiba to tell himself that jounouchi is only ever graceful when he’s dead.
side: katsuya jounouchi
jounouchi is very stuck on this idea that he needs to be useful. his dad is an alcoholic with a gambling addiction and he believes it's not only his duty to pay his father's debts, but to be the household's sole source of income. his sister needs eye surgery and he believes it's his responsibility as an older brother not only to pay for it, but to act as her primary emotional support to get the surgery and throughout her recovery process. haga throws yugi's exodia into the ocean and jounouchi blames himself for not stopping it. jounouchi gets mind-controlled by malik and blames himself for causing his friends anguish from it. mai literally gets jounounchi’s soul stolen and he apologizes to her for messing up and making her sad. it's habitual, jounouchi doesn't know how to stop taking on the burdens of other people.
if you live with the mentality that you’re inevitably going to fail for long enough, you’ll come away with the belief that caring about your own wellbeing isn’t worth the effort. it depends on how pessimistic you want to read it, if it’s just his love language or jounouchi compensating for the damning act of being himself, but jounouchi quantifies his worth by how much he provides for other people. he’s always jumping in the line of fire for the sake of others because if you constantly undervalue your own wellbeing, you always have less to lose. as the underdog, he may not be as overtly powerful as kaiba or yugi, but he can still give himself away, and he’s convinced himself that it’s what he’s supposed to do. jounouchi is still new to this whole friendship thing. after a lifetime of supporting himself by himself, he doesn't know when he's allowed to ask for help yet—he’s supposed to be the help, dammit.
a key distinction between jounouchi and kaiba’s upbringings is that while kaiba’s biological parents died in an accident, jounouchi’s parents are still alive and they choose not to be responsible for him. jounouchi is conditioned to fend for himself by himself because having a parental figure actually present in his life isn’t a luxury he gets to have. to jounouchi, there has to be a reason why his mother only takes shizuka and never goes back for him in the six years he’s left with his father, and he rationalizes this with his notions of masculinity: he’s a strong man who can handle it. jounouchi is not delicate, he can endure it. men are responsible for their own circumstances. kaiba is hyperindependent out of a mixture of spite, paranoia, and self-defense. jounouchi is hyperindependent because he believes he deserves it. it’s the reason why he believes he’ll finally have a good relationship with his father if he just wins enough money to pay off his gambling debts—jounouchi can fix everything if only he were man enough to, and he can get people to stay if he demonstrates himself useful enough.
so death doesn’t carry nearly as much weight to jounouchi as it does to kaiba. in kaiba’s eyes, death is the punishment for failure, but to jounouchi, death is just the natural consequence for the kind of life he leads. he can't stop himself from fighting for the people he loves until he’s spent everything and forced to stop (read: dies), so during the several times jounouchi is confronted with his own death, he meets it with a solemn acceptance. like, yeah, it sucks, but he doesn’t regret the actions he took to end up here—he’d do it all over again, frankly. it’s better to die than not give everything he can, and at least he was able to give his life in service to someone else. it’s not necessarily good to die, but it doesn’t matter as much if he does.
so where kaiba is afraid of losing, jounouchi is afraid of outliving his usefulness (and being abandoned as a result), and kaiba disrupts jounouchi’s worldview specifically because he puts his ideology on the defensive. to jounouchi, kaiba’s presence never demands a question of “what can you do for me?” (nothing, kaiba doesn’t want jounouchi to do anything for him, and frankly, he’d be insulted if jounouchi even tried) but “what makes you worthy of standing on the same level as me?”, and jounouchi can’t sacrificial lamb get set on fire die a billion times into getting kaiba into seeing it his way (rather, that would only prove him right: kaiba would love nothing more than for jounouchi to lose the ability to fight and finally align with his preconceived notions of how the world works), and he can’t argue that his value is in how much he provides for others because that’s a non-answer. kaiba doesn’t care.
kaiba’s presence forces jounouchi into a position of self-reflection: jounouchi works so hard to preserve the friendships he’s created, but who is he—what does he value about himself in the absence of it? jounouchi needs to acknowledge something inherently valuable about himself if he wants to counter kaiba in any meaningful way, and it’s not like he doesn’t have valuable qualities either: he’s tenacious, he’s resourceful, he’s a quick learner—it takes intelligence to rank as high as he does in tournaments, but he undervalues all of it. these traits are all to be expected, they don’t actually count as extraordinary when it’s him. they’re only remarkable when they’re being applied to something greater. jounouchi believes he has the potential to become strong (and valuable by extension), only with the stipulation that he’s never actually there yet. he focuses too much on his inadequacies, constantly pontificating on how he needs to become a “true duelist”, but by the way he speaks about the title, the only way to be a true duelist is be named yugi muto, i guess.
so it’s very jounouchi-esque for him to miss this point with near deliberate precision and try to make himself useful to kaiba anyway. while kaiba is bent on seeing jounouchi fail to prove that his cynicism is superior to jounouchi’s altruism, the inverse is that jounouchi sees his old self in kaiba and he’s dying to teach kaiba a lesson. during battle for bronze, jounouchi states that they used to be the same, people who only relied on themselves and thought they’d be fine living like that. the argument jounouchi makes is that living that way is fucking miserable. he calls kaiba out: you’re supposed to be having fun. why are you playing duel monsters if you’re not having fun? he’s trying to show kaiba that he can be useful and teach kaiba things if kaiba would just let him, but for reasons mentioned in both of their sections, kaiba isn’t interested in being taught anything.
while less malicious in display, it's important to note that jounouchi’s method of trying to teach kaiba doesn't make him the better person here. jounouchi isn’t coming from a place of understanding when he lectures kaiba, he’s coming from a place of misdirected self-flagellation. and from kaiba's perspective, jounouchi is just dispensing unwarranted advice for the sake of his own ego. the most egregious example is when jounouchi picks a fight with kaiba in duelist kingdom, demanding they duel when kaiba is clearly not in the mood, busy with more pressing matters like, i don’t know, trying to rescue his abducted brother? so, okay, maybe a little bit inconsiderate on jounouchi’s part.
they're two ideological extremes: kaiba lashes out at the world while jounouchi gives himself to it, and jounouchi will keep barging in on kaiba with his life lessons because it’s the only way he wants to engage with kaiba’s arguments otherwise. jounouchi interprets kaiba’s rejection of his ideals as the equivalent of the stubbornness jounouchi had before befriending yugi, and he uses it as a reason to keep pushing, not understanding that while he may have found the most honorable path for himself, you can imagine how constantly burning yourself for others isn’t very…appealing. or sustainable. and that maybe it’s something you need to work on, actually.
conclusion: how i WIN
what’s fun about jounouchi and kaiba is how wrong they are. they genuinely can't live the way the other demands them to, their respective environments won’t allow it. if jounouchi chased victory with the same cutthroat relentlessness as kaiba, he probably never would have left his gang. or, at least, he’d lose the selfless devotion and consideration he has for others, traits that helped him build his support system, and he never would have found the friendships he values in his life—his willingness to change and start again was how he was able to befriend yugi to begin with. (and if you wanted to get really extreme with hypotheticals, his self-destructive tendencies could have grown so severe in the absence of a support system that he probably would wind up getting himself killed somewhere. lol.) inversely, if kaiba granted himself the freedom to worry less about the outcome as long as he enjoyed himself, he’d put mokuba’s safety at constant risk. kaiba’s guarded nature isn’t without reason, there are powerful corporate executives who would love to see him fail, and there are very real consequences if kaiba slips up for even a second and gives his opposition any leeway. the way they live works for them because it’s theirs. it’s not so much that either of their lifestyles are in dire need of correction, but that the other represents the possibility that they could be living better.
and this is fantastic because it means that, despite what they think, neither of them are in the “wrong” and must learn to change their idiot ways or that the solution is to strong-arm each other into some kind of compromise. it’s a battle of perceived weakness. they need to, naturally and individually, accept that the traits they’ve always deemed immature and beneath them can be just as vital for survival, even when it’s not necessarily their own.
jounouchi and kaiba are essentially the most extreme example of two people who want what’s best for each other (gone wrong!) and puppyshipping is appealing because them getting together requires that they stop punishing themselves for who they used to be. they expect too much out of themselves and then inflict those demands onto each other, but if they’re not wrong for the ways they’ve overcome the circumstances they were left in, then it’s equally true that the ideals they abandoned to survive weren’t inherently naïve just because they weren’t given the space to utilize them. sometimes life will push you to your limits in the hope that you fail, and there’s no deeper meaning to it. it’s not life’s way of teaching you a necessary lesson to make you stronger or a test to see if you deserve to live, or that it’s your fault when it breaks you. sometimes there’s no great meaning to suffering. things happen, and you will adjust to it in order to live. when kaiba and jounouchi believe they know each other as much as they know themselves, pairing them is the hope that they’ll respect themselves enough to respect each other, that they’ll one day be able to embrace the parts of themselves they’re the most ashamed of.
(or, you know, for the alternative crowd, they most definitely can make each other worse.)
for two men who claim to be so self-assured in their own lifestyles, jounouchi and kaiba are fascinating because there’s so many layers of denial at play: the denial that they see anything in each other, denial that there may be aspects of the other that they’ve come to envy, denial that they even care, and it's so tempting to imagine if all of it was forced open. jounouchi and kaiba choose to maintain this delicate equilibrium where they never actually confront anything because the idea of admitting vulnerability viscerally disgusts them, and it begs what would happen if the balance irrevocably tipped for once. watching them is like watching a pencil teetering on the edge of a desk, always this close to some kind of breakthrough. i won’t even lie to you puppyshipping pisses me off half the time because i just want to shake them around until something metaphorically breaks.
kaiba and jounouchi never let each other become complacent in their pasts: whenever their personal tragedies and childhoods are brought up in the context of one another, it’s never because they are being vindicated for continuing to dwell in them, but because they are being contested on how much the mindsets they’ve carried over from their pasts should be allowed to determine their futures.
returning to canon, kaijou operates through the language of competition. jounouchi tries to prove himself as a competitor so remarkable that kaiba can no longer deny him, while kaiba already knows he’s remarkable, and that is precisely why acknowledging it pisses him off so much. so they’ll play their game: jounouchi will provoke kaiba into fighting him because he enjoys going up against challenging opponents in the hopes of becoming stronger, whereas kaiba keeps trying to set up situations where jounouchi will lose to the point of letting him die because he wants so badly to believe that losing does equal death and jounouchi’s existence is the most inconvenient counterargument of all. and obviously, jounouchi keeps not dying. and it's endlessly infuriating—almost slapstick at this point, that much to kaiba's frustration, no matter what he does, he can never make jounouchi submit for very long.
jounouchi and kaiba spur each other on to a ridiculous extent: kaiba enjoys pushing jounouchi past the breaking point, whereas jounouchi enjoys getting pushed to his limits to test his own capabilities. whether that’s necessarily a good thing though is…well…hmm. anyways. 
their dynamic is the type of messiness only two prideful high schoolers can get up to. maybe it’s just kaiba's repression and jounouchi's recklessness, but there is a fascination with each other that they’re incapable of leaving alone. there’s intimacy in knowing someone so well and fearing that fact, but kaiba and jounouchi never respond to this fear by avoiding it—they’re engaging with it time and time again. they infuriate each other with a passion that never sits still. kaiba and jounouchi seek a validation from their counterpart while simultaneously denying each other from it, and it’s mean, but invigoratingly so.
at some point, it’s not even about wanting validation anymore, but point-blank wanting its keeper by any capacity: wanting a visible reaction to their effort as proof of reciprocation, proof that says “i’ve finally affected you just as much as you affect me.” because kaiba and jounouchi want to leave a mark on each other, they want their counterpart to fully understand how much they’ve affected them, and they want to witness that reaction themselves. it’s no longer this big, nebulous ideological debate with a reflection: the pull between them is made both physical and personal. so, like, not to go the trite route of arguing that two men who can’t stand each other were ~secretly attracted to each other this whole time~, but how else are you supposed to word this?
in some hypothetical universe where they do come together, even the ways they love manage to compliment each other in its own clumsy way. seto kaiba never does anything in moderation: if he hates something he will destroy it, if he loves something he will possess it, and if he is obsessed with something, he will single-mindedly pursue it at the expense of everything else. his repression manifests itself in a passion so pressurized it’s all-consuming against everything it comes to contact with. inversely, katsuya jounouchi loves freely and transparently: showing affection comes as naturally as breathing to him. he embodies the belief that love is not only about the grand gestures, but the day-to-day acts of warmth and casual acknowledgments that it's there. a man who wants to be wanted by someone so badly it aches paired with someone who makes no reservations as to what he's committed to, capable of a love so overwhelmingly insatiable that it is neither fickle nor delicate, and a man who finds the act of trusting others with his affection so unthinkably humiliating that he’s convinced himself it’s something beneath him paired with someone who makes it look infuriatingly easy. they are going to invent a new language to love each other with. i believe in them. i would not write two separate essays titled “here’s how puppyshipping can still win” if i did not believe in them. 
ultimately, it feels cheap to build kaiba and jounouchi’s relationship off what life lessons they could "teach" each other reformation-style when they already have a legitimate dynamic in play. they can be good for each other, or they can tear into each other in ways they’d never expect to be capable of. there’s something exhilarating in knowing there’s someone who has that kind of power and wanting to keep them within your reach, a buzzing excitement in knowing someone who can not only withstand you at your worst, but fight back at you with twice as much vigor. sure, there’s potential for growth here, but that’s because there’s potential for literally anything.
kaiba and jounouchi inspire reinvention and self-determination from each other at the best of times and enable each other’s most self-destructive tendencies at their worst. so i think. puppyshipping is the most fun. when you ship them the same way you leave a fork in the microwave to watch it explode. the end.
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TL;DR: me x the guy who keeps breaking my worldview and forces me to reevaluate myself every time i see him which i hate so much that i just want him to DIE
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tethrras · 3 months
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being in a fandom is so hard when you're not smart or funny and don't have hot takes or interesting theories and you're bad at everything and can't do meta or critically think and basically is so hard when you're just dumb
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blackjackkent · 2 months
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Karlach - "That's a very stupid idea."
Jaheira - "I don't feel so good."
Wyll - "Why did you do that?"
With or without their usual pairings, as you choose. Pair them up with whoever you feel like :)
(Five-Word Sentences prompts)
Jaheira - "I don't feel so good."
Slowly getting caught up on all my inbox stuff. :D TY as always. I will pick the Jaheira one again, but we're gonna mix things up a bit. >:)
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"Mmph." Jaheira squirms slightly. Her head and eyelids feel heavy and for a long, numb moment, she does not know exactly where she is. There's a hard stone floor beneath her, pressing against the back of her head. The distant sound of voices. Someone kneeling next to her head, a hand on her shoulder.
"Kh...Khalid?" she mumbles. Her tongue feels thick in her mouth; his name comes slowly to her lips. But she can feel him nearby, the immensely comforting presence. And she fills with dizzy joy, because it has been so long, although she cannot quite remember why. "My love..."
"No, Jaheira." The voice is jarring, dissonant -- too deep, too sharp, a harsh roll on the 'r' of her name. "Wake up."
The fog fades, washed aside by a rolling wave of painful reality. Her eyes snap open and she moans as she begins to register the shattered state of her body. Nearly every inch of her skin is burned, and to judge by the sharper knifeblade of pain stabbing through the staticky haze of baseline agony, her left leg is broken.
Minsc is crouched over her, his eyes unusually wide with deep alarm - but he relaxes slightly as he sees her eyes open. "Ah, good," he says; it's an attempt at his usual blithe cheer but it falls somewhat flat. A muscle twitches with strain in his temple. "Minsc tried his best with the scroll, but the wizards use such terribly long words..." He swallows, squares his shoulders. "But you live. So all is well.”
A spent scroll of revivification falls from his fingertips as he returns his hands to the hilt of his greatsword. Jaheira stares at the paper, hypnotized by its slow and unsteady flutter onto the stone. Her brain shies away from the implications of its muted gold letters with the magic all drained out of them.
“What happened?” she asks weakly. 
“Raphael,” Minsc says, with an unusual note of venom. He stands up, taking a guard position over her fallen body, his eyes flicking rapidly around the room. She follows his gaze, slowly registering the high marble walls, the shattered soul columns and cracked tiles. “Cursed be his name forever. Minsc would like to spend another scroll and draw him back from death, that Minsc might kill him again for what he has done to Jaheira.” 
“He is dead, then?” Jaheira whispers. Memory trickles in, bit by bit. She remembers it now - the devil’s explosive transformation and the hellfire that surrounded it, licking out, blasting her backwards, surrounding her, consuming her…
Minsc makes an affirmative grunt. “Minsc saw the blood pour from his chest,” he mutters. “Karlach struck the final blow, but Minsc’s heart was in it too…” 
“Good,” she says vaguely. Her head lolls to the side, her eyes drifting half-closed again. “I do not feel… so good…” she mumbles. Oblivion beckons again at the corners of her thoughts; it would be so easy to slip back under, away from the pain. She can still feel Khalid so near her, as if she could turn her head just a little further and see him watching her with his quiet smile and bright gaze…
“Jaheira!”
“What?” she mumbles irritably, squeezing her eyes fully shut against the grating rumble of Minsc’s voice. “Be damned to you, ranger… it hurts…”
“Do not go to sleep,” he says sharply. “The others have gone to speak to Hope. When they return, we will bring you back to camp, so that Shadowheart may tend to your wounds. Then you may rest, and not before.”
“Do not give me orders, Minsc. I will sleep if I… if I please…” Her voice is slurred with pain.
“Minsc will set Boo upon you to hold your eyelids open, should it be needed.” There’s the faintest touch of humor in Minsc’s voice, though it is still underlaid with strained worry.
Jaheira laughs just a little, in spite of herself, and the motion sends a bolt of pain through her whole body; the sound morphs rapidly into a groan. “Nngh… howling hells…” she says with a pained grimace, forcing her eyes open again obediently. “All right. All right, I am… awake…”
As it should be. There is too much yet to do. Always too much yet to do…
“Are you hurt, Minsc?” she asks.
“It matters not,” he answers quietly.
“Minsc--”
“It matters not,” he snaps, and the ferocity of the words startles her. “Minsc will rest when you are safe. His aches are greatest at the heart, where no healer can reach.” A pause. “You are no wychlaran, you have told me so. Minsc knows this; he has listened well, Jaheira. But wychlaran or not, the pain was still the same to watch you fall.”
A long, long pause. “Minsc has watched too many fall…” he adds in an undertone, almost too low to hear.
She frowns. For once, she does not have the heart to try to push his loyalty away. There is something comforting, after all, in the guard-dog posture he holds, standing over her with his sword in both hands. Boo sits on his shoulder, watching the door of the room intently.
Her oldest friend… She feels a sudden bleak gratitude towards those nameless ambushers who turned Minsc to stone all those years ago. In their attack, they gave her a gift, that his friendship is not lost to her in these dark hours, as so many others have been.
“Thank you, Minsc,” she says quietly. “Do not fear. You have done well. And I will stay awake…”
He relaxes visibly, his habitual smile already tugging at his features, indomitable again with this reassurance. “Good. That is good to hear.”
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generic-sonic-fan · 7 months
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Not trying to be edgy here but I love it when Sonic struggles with his own protagonist-centered morality. Make that blue hedgehog think that everything he does is objectively correct just because he acts with good intentions, please.
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hirazuki · 4 months
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Haruno Sakura & Sasori; Haruno Sakura/Sasori (can be read either way), Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, Sai, Yamanaka Ino, Hatake Kakashi, Kankurou
blank period | canon divergent | ongoing
It is two years after the Fourth Shinobi War and the world is finally settling down. Sakura’s life has also fallen into a steady routine of hospital shifts and increasing responsibilities, with a stability she hasn’t been afforded since her early genin days.
She should have known better than to think it would last.
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