#tommy clark imagine
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i have no words…
(actually not true i have a lot of words)
a) respectfully it’s been 6 years, I don’t actually think she cares about buck very much anymore
b) abby thanking god she didn’t have to call tommy and tell him to pull his ass out of his head? IN WHAT WORLD WOULD SHE EVER DO THAT
c) she knows how lucky one is to find themselves in a relationship with buck…. dubious??? like yes one is lucky to find themselves in a relationship with buck but abby clark wasn’t one to recognize that
d) “she knows how hard tommy loves” ??? you’re talking about the gay man who i) dumped her at one of the roughest moments of her life and ii) has done nothing but denigrate her when he’s talked about her? you’re talking about a dude who can’t even respect her enough to recognize her struggles (a chunk of which he was the direct cause of), and you want me to think he treated her well? that he showed love to her? nah bro. nah.
#this was such an egregious imagine i just couldn’t not comment.#911 season 8#911 abc#abby clark#anti tommy kinard#anti bucktommy#anti tevan#anti lou ferrigno jr#like i’m trying to hit all my bases here but i just. what?????
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listen I’m not even gonna go into the whole break up thing but can we take a moment for Abby tonight?
coz imagine for a second a couple months into Buck and Tommy’s relationship, Abby scrolling through her social media and out of nowhere seeing a picture of Buck and Tommy and finding out they are dating.
what a punch to the gut to see two people you cared about and dated DATING EACH OTHER and BEING HAPPY with each other
like what are the chances????
#I mean#she wins now I guess#but imagine stalking ur exes socials and then finding ur other ex hahahahaa#I might have to write a fic about this actually#I have so many thoughts#abby clark#evan buckley#buck x tommy#bucktommy#911onfox#911 abc#911 spoilers
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Sorry but Buck being with a guy with the same name as the guy who broke Abby's heart is funny. I don't make the rules.
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Im sure its not true but abby talks about breaking up with a guy named Tommy and shes obv quite interested in firefighters, imagine if her ex tommy is tommy kinard of bi buck fame and buck is dating his ex's ex lol
#tommy kinard#abby clark#evan buckley#911 abc#ems being loud#im sure the age among other things doesnt line up but imagine the drama lol#if he ever shows up i dont remember lol rip and sorry if so
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Alpha4Alpha is SUCH a fun dynamic I love it so so so so so so so much. Growl snarl bite and such. Knot.
#brank#<- themthemthemthem!#can’t do it for clowns though unfortunately because I realised omegaverse means I could legally give D a pussy#hannigram#<- LITERALLY such a fun dynamic for them#HIGHLY overlooked#it would be extremely funny for A/T because they’re both like. the tiniest alphas imaginable. pocket sized.#and I want to see Tommy in heat actually.#OH WAIT#superbat#<- hello?!?! HELLO???!#I need to think about this concept#me tapping my Bruce/Clark mic: is this thing on?#ohhhhhh hold on hold one one more#napollya#it would be SO interesting for them#kind of like Will & H with the miscommunication and different approaches to courting#they both think they’re being hunted for sport because their styles don’t match up#it works out in the end though. :).
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Slick Sunday!
Since you're making the move to be a middle school teacher and I myself am in the process of getting my license and doing my student teaching I've been thinking about Teacher Alpha Eddie and Family Resource Room Coordinator Omega Steve this week.
Steve who doesn't get into any colleges and doesn't really have the desire to pursue college anyway but wants to support the pups he babysits (the party) when they make the transition to middle school (they're a couple years younger than in canon for plot reasons) so he uses his parent's money to donate some new equipment for the AV Club and some board games the kids like for the library.
To his surprise, his parents are completely fine with this development because they can mark those off as charitable donations for tax purposes so Steve just...keeps doing it. His parents aren't really around and the pups are the only pack he really has since he stopped hanging around Tommy, Carol, and the rest of his jock friends in his Junior year so he's extra attached to them, and sometimes his instincts so a little haywire and he's prone to overdoing it when it comes to taking care of his pack.
So he starts spending more and more money on the school. New desks and science equipment and books and he starts to think, hey, I've been trying to think of ways to help the Byers, Hendersons, and Mayfeilds who struggle financially sometimes but they never let me, what if I just...let them think the school is providing resources for families without my contributions. So he does. He starts a food pantry and a clothing closet and starts going out to meet people in the community who provide other family support services and makes a resource kiosk for the office with flyers and applications for family services.
Eventually, the school reaches out and offers him an office and a small salary to do his work full time since at this point his parents are still making him work a part-time job so imagine what he could do full time! He jumps on the offer and gets to spend his days applying for grants and helping families and pups who need him and he feels like he finally has a purpose. He moves out of his parents' house and stops using their money and finally feels content with himself even if he doesn't have the mate and pups he dreamed of having at this stage in his life.
Que the hiring of one Eddie Munson at Hawkins Middle following a failed try at the rockstar life in Chicago. He crashed and burned hard and he's come home to lick his wounds in the familiar comfort of his uncle and only pack mate Wayne's home. He sulks for a good couple of months before Wayne pulls him up out of his depression den by the ear and formally introduces him to the Omega he's been courting for the past year, Scott Clarke, who works at the middle school and is helping set up an after school music program at the school and has recommended Eddie as the guitar instructor.
Eddie is hesitant at first. School and him don't exactly have the best relationship but he agrees to come to an informal meeting with all the potential instructors and he is surprised to find that they are all really cool actually. Chrissy is sweet and excellent at the piano and Robin is a total badass and can apparently play just about any brass or wind instrument out there. The thing that seals the deal though is the arrival of an absolutely stunning Omega. He's tall and built with freckles and beauty marks placed by the hand of a loving god all across his body and Eddie is immediately smitten. He is disappointed to learn that he won't be one of the instructors and is just stopping in to pick up Robin to take her home to their shared apartment, but his hope is renewed when they leave the room and Chrissy leans over to tell him the mystery man, who he discovers is named Steve, works in the school and is single.
He accepts the job before he leaves the building.
I could go on and on but this is already long so I'll leave it here lol.
this so sweet i’m gonna die😭😭😭💕
#slick sunday#steddie#steddie omegaverse#omega steve harrington#alpha eddie munson#steve x eddie#a/b/o#omegaverse#my asks
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DPxDC Next Generation Kids (click for clarity)
Continue reading for notes and introductions :)
1) Jove Bryce Wayne (11) - Steph and Cass’ adopted son. He trains under Cass and Bruce, and is widely admired by the other kids for creating his own fighting style with the dancing skills he gets from practicing with his mom (to his delight). Fun fact, he is albino!
2) Marillyn “Mari” Maddy Grayson-Nightingale (10) - Dick and Dan’s daughter. She was an accidental pregnancy, but both of her dads love her very much. Fun fact, she gained her baba’s personality and is rather rebellious and mischievous, which causes Dick to feel sympathetic for Bruce.
3) Elinor “Ellie” Catherine Nightingale (9) - Jason and Jazz’s eldest daughter. She, along with Mari, train under Dick, Jason, and Jazz in order to protect themselves. Fun fact, she looks and acts just like Jason when he was young.
4) Thomas “Tommy” Bruce Drake (5) - Tim, Dani, and Kon’s oldest son. He is an evil genius who uses his cuteness to take over the world. Fun fact, the entire PhantomBat family have given up on convincing him not to, so now they’re just trying to instill morals into him and stall for time (they still love him tho).
5) Marianne “Ann” Talia Nightingale (5) - Jason and Jazz’s youngest daughter. She is Alfie’s twin and is the fun and sunshine to Ellie’s seriousness and Alfie’s gloominess. Fun fact, she got her blonde hair from Sheila Haywood, but she doesn’t know that.
6) Alfonso “Alfie” B Nightingale (5) - Jason and Jazz’s youngest son. He is Ann’s twin and is rather gloomy and antisocial compared to his sisters. Fun fact, he supposedly looks like Bruce when he was young, so he gets away with a lot when dealing with Alfred.
7) Rain Axel Nightingale (4) - Danny and Valerie’s son. He is Misty’s twin and can be rather mischievous, often causing trouble and chaos for the fun of it. Fun fact, he often teams up with Mari to prank everyone in the most ridiculous ways possible.
8) Misty Lilith Nightingale (4) - Danny and Valerie’s daughter. She is Rain’s twin, and is even more shy than Alfie and can start crying when stressed. Fun fact, although she can be anxious easily, her temper is even worse than her mom’s.
9) Ken-el / Kenneth “Kenny” Clark Drake (1) - Tim, Dani, and Kon’s youngest son. Since he is the youngest, he is doted on the most. Fun fact, he has already unlocked most of his halfa abilities due to his Kryptonian heritage.
Notes:
+ Jove’s name relates back to Cassandra’s because they are both names of mythological characters. Jove is another name for Jupiter (AKA Zeus).
+ Both of Mari’s names are actually a weird, mashed up version of Madeline and Mary (and also inspired by Mar’i cough).
+ Jason and Jazz’s daughters are named after Elinor and Marianne from Sense and Sensibilities and their middle names are from Jason’s mother figures in life. I imagine that Jazz had a falling out with Jack and Maddie, so she didn’t really care.
+ Alfie’s name is inspired from Alfred and his middle name is only “B” because Tommy was born first and Tim took the “Bruce” middle name.
+ Alfie and Ann, and Misty and Rain are inspired by Misty and Jackson, the canon kid characters of Sam and Danny. Both pairs of twins have an 8 month difference of age.
+ Why so many twins?? I used the twin idea first for Jazz and Jason, but when I thought of Danny and Valerie, I kept switching between ideas, so I eventually settled on twins for them too. Trust, it was a weird coincidence for Danny and Jazz too when they had twins at nearly the same time.
+ Misty and Rain’s middle names come from Tucker and Sam (Axel Foley and the episode “Life Lessons”). Their first names are inspired by Misty Fenton and I just found another name for Rain to match the theme.
+ Tommy and Kenny technically have different dads, (Tommy is Tim and Dani’s, and Kenny is Kon and Dani’s), but it doesn’t really mean anything, since they don’t pay attention to it.
+ The idea of Tommy, who is like Tim’s clone and absolutely evil, was so funny to me. He’s prob my fav child OC. His entire family know about his manipulative tendencies but he loves them so they let it go. (Damian and Dan have already pledged their allegiance to their future overlord.)
+ The short period of time where Jazz, Dani, and Valerie were pregnant at the same time was hell on earth for everyone.
+ Technically, Bruce only has 7 grandchildren (he cries when he thinks about it a little too hard), but bc they’re so close to Rain and Misty, Bruce thinks of them as his grandchildren too, so he always says he has 9. Danny and Val are like ??? But Rain and Misty totally believe that he’s their grandpa (which he is delighted about).
+ Damian is married to Jon and they have no kids, unless you count the farm they inherited and all of the animals that Damian adopted as his fur babies. However, Damian was young when the kids kept coming, so he became the designated babysitter and then the favorite uncle, which all of the other Batboys despise and are jealous of.
+ Marillyn's age, as well as Misty and Rain's existences, might still be changed by me, just bc at times, it doesn't suit my headcanons or just doesn't make sense in the timeline. So those are susceptible to change.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dcxdp#anger management ship#hardcover ship#bad humor ship#dick x dan#two for one ship#tim x kon x dani#gray ghost#stephcass#phantombat next gen#jason x jazz#dp au
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Claimed
Summary: While on the run from raiders and their twisted game of hide and seek you get saved in the last minute by a creature you only thought existed in books. You knew you should be scared, yet you could not find it in you as you looked into the warm brown eyes of a wolf that seemed way too human to be a monster, letting him have you and your body, letting him claim you. Waking up in a cabin the next morning you think it was all a dream, wanting to move on until Tommy and Joel Miller find you in that cabin, offering you to stay in a town called Jackson.
Pairing: Werewolf! Joel Miller x fem. reader
Rating: E
Wordcount: 5.4k
Warnings: monster fucking (dub con -> enthusiastic consent; basically she's really into it once she's awake) angst, threats of SA, violence, death, smut (Somnophilia; oral sex f receiving; unprotected sex, knotting, cumplay), successful breeding, so much guilt, fluff, Joel is bad at feelings
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You were cold. Cold and hungry. Exhausted and, most of all, scared.
You didn’t know exactly how long you had been running. The four men pursuing you had found you and your group a day (or three?) before, had killed everyone except for you, telling you to run for your life after stripping you of most of your clothes.
Like some sick fucking game.
Then again, ever since the outbreak, everything seemed to be a game of life and death. It wasn’t long until humanity showed its ugly face, and (mostly) men lived out their sick, primitive fantasies without the fear of any kind of punishment.
You could hear them outside, laughing and snickering, fantasising about the sick things they would do to you if they found you. How they would decide if you were allowed to stay alive and become their pet, or if they would kill you.
The sun had set hours ago, the only light source outside the full moon high on the cloudless sky. You were hiding under a trapdoor in a barn that looked like it might collapse the next time it rained. Though if you had to guess, you think it’d snow before it rained.
It had to be November by now, Wyoming cooling down to a fucking freezer overnight, your teeth clattering as you shivered.
They had only left you in your shoes and underwear. You had picked up an old jacket as you ran into an abandoned cabin the day before. Then you found a thin blanket that you currently had wrapped around your cold legs, the smell coming from it making it hard to breathe without feeling nauseous.
Your fingers were wrapped around a rusty piece of metal you had found down here, not really knowing if you’d use it on the raiders or yourself before they got their hands on you.
Though the thought crossed your mind that you being dead probably wouldn’t stop them from…
You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. In your head, you hummed the lullaby your mother used to sing to you whenever you felt anxious as you were growing up.
You didn’t dream of seeing her again one day anymore. You buried that hope after twenty years of whatever life you had lived since the outbreak. You liked to imagine she had a quick death once things started going downhill. You had been on vacation with your best friend in New York City when it all happened. You still had no idea how you made it out of there alive.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are…” one of the men mocked you, his voice way too close for comfort. You wrapped a hand over your mouth, trying to be as quiet as possible in hopes he would just move on and leave you here to… probably die from hypothermia. Still a better death than what they had planned.
You heard the footsteps getting closer before there was an earth-shattering scream outside, followed by growling.
“What the fuck is going on there? Did the bitch cut your balls off, Clark?” The men who must be standing right above you right now yelled outside. There was a roar followed by a howl outside, and you closed your eyes.
“Clark? Will?” The man above you called out, but there was no answer.
“You better not be fucking with me, you assholes,” he said, his footsteps moving away from you. You allowed yourself to release a shuddering breath, pulling the blanket tighter around you.
Another scream outside, followed by a loud howl, before there was only silence.
Minutes went by, and you were pretty sure whatever was out there had probably killed the men that were after you. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to risk getting out of your hiding spot to seek shelter somewhere else. Or find another blanket.
You had no idea how to survive out here on your own. You hadn’t eaten in two days, only barely found something to drink while running.
Maybe whatever was out there would make your death quick, and you could rest. The thought of getting a good night’s sleep made you sigh as you felt your mind slowly slip into darkness.
Yet before you could let your mind rest, the trapdoor above you was ripped open, and you jumped, suddenly blinded by how bright the moon illuminated the night. You blinked against the sudden light, gasping when you found a creature looking down at you, big brown eyes fixated on you.
It was standing on two legs, fur covering the whole body, the teeth sharp, reflecting the moonlight.
It looked like a wolf. A huge fucking wolf, yet there was something human about it.
You should have been scared, you should have been screaming, but somehow you didn’t, overcome with the feeling of being safe the longer you looked into its eyes.
“You’re so pretty,“ you mumbled. “Are you here to kill me?“
The creature’s eyes widened before his massive head shook from side to side, as if saying no. You smiled softly at that.
“You’re a good doggy,” you sighed, your eyes slipping closed. And you could swear the last thing you heard was an amused roar before your mind slipped into unconsciousness.
You felt…. Warm.
You didn’t know the last time you felt warm, which left you to the conclusion that you must have died.
You were lying on something soft, surrounded by warmth.
A satisfied moan slipped through your lips in the next moment, still half asleep, and you felt your body shuddering. Your hands ran over your body, your fingers slipping down your stomach before your eyes opened slowly, looking down just in time to see why you woke up, your pussy throbbing as an orgasm rushed through your body, making you arch your back and cry out as you looked between your thighs to find big brown eyes looking up at you.
You thought you dreamed the wolf you remembered saving you before, but it was him.
“You’re… You’re real…“ you whispered, your hand hesitantly reaching out, your fingers meeting the soft fur of the animal between your legs. It was real. He was real. The wolf was real, and he was here, and he was…
The wolf seemed to lean into your touch, his eyes seemingly trying to communicate with you, his expression torn before he growled, his eyes closing.
“Oh shit,“ you whispered, slowly noticing that you were stripped completely naked, big strong and furry arms wrapped around your thighs, keep you lying on the mattress beneath you.
You should be scared, you know you should. Yet you weren’t. Instead, you felt the safest you ever did. The big nose of the wolf nuzzled against your pussy, and you moaned quietly, your chest heaving as you took a deep breath.
You should fight, run, scream, yet you wanted more.
You wanted this creature to own you, to claim you. To be his. It seemed like the only thought in your mind the longer you looked into its eyes.
The wolf kept his dark eyes on yours, his cold nose nuzzling against your pussy until you felt his big tongue lick through your slit.
“Oh fuck,“ you let yourself fall back down against the ground, the hand that had been touching the wolf coming up to your breast, squeezing it, playing with your nipple, noticing something… sticky on your chest. Bringing your fingers up, looking at them and the creamy substance on your fingers, your eyes found the wolf, finding him watching you intently.
The long warm tongue kept licking you almost softly, the wet nose rubbing over your clit.
Keeping your eyes on his, you brought your fingers to your mouth, your tongue darting out to taste it. The wolf growled, his eyes seemingly getting even darker as you tasted what you thought was his cum. You hummed, licking your fingers clean, the wolf’s tongue moving faster, making your legs twitch.
His big claws dug warningly into the soft skin of your thighs, before his tongue forced its way inside your pussy.
Your lips parted as you cried out in ecstasy, the feeling foreign yet so fucking good as the big tongue of the wolf moved inside of you.
Biting your lips, you tried to keep quiet, panting for air as his tongue brushed over something inside of you that made you cry out in pleasure.
“There… Fuck… Right there,“ you whined, trying to move your hips under his grip, but he growled, his tongue fixated on that one spot inside of you until you moaned loudly, your whole body shaking as you came hard, soaking the wolf between your legs as you squirted for the first time in your life.
With your chest heaving, you slumped back against the mattress, panting as you tried to process what just happened.
The wolf licked you clean softly before his claws let go of your thighs. You opened your eyes, watching him when you felt his tongue licked over your upper thigh, only noticing now that one of his claws must have nabbed your skin, drawing a tiny bit of blood he licked off.
You were watching him, your eyes widening as the wolf slowly got on his feet, towering above you in his full height.
He was breathtaking. Literally.
Your eyes dropped to his cock, leaking with pre cum and standing proudly against his stomach.
It was… definitely not human.
It was dark red, at least 9 inches long. You probably could not close your fist around it, the girth was too big. But it was the knot that made you suck in your bottom lip, worrying.
He was breathing deeply, his eyes fixed on your form, almost pleading to you, but you did not know for what.
“It’s… It’s okay,“ you whispered, slowly sitting yourself up. It was almost like the wolf was shaking his head.
“It’s okay. Take what you want.“
The moment those words slipped out of your mouth, Joel knew he had lost the last bit of control he had over his actions. He got on all fours, his face hovering over you and your beautiful eyes.
You didn’t know the inner fight he had put on for hours since bringing you here.
Joel was a man who always made more than sure that whatever he did with the person he was with, they were giving him enthusiastic consent before he touched them.
But right now, Joel wasn’t a man.
He was a creature of the night, his instincts reduced to his animalistic primal needs.
He had made you cum twice before you even woke up, high on your taste, wanting more and more. Fuck he had even jerked off, shooting his cum all over your body like the animal he was.
He’d never fucked anyone in this form before, and while a part of him hated the lack of control he had over how he behaved right now, another part was ready to be inside of you.
“Mhhh….“ he heard you hum, your fingers stroking through his fur, and Joel was sure he’d purr if you continued to touch him.
But his cock was aching, and you were oh so soft and wet.
And ready to breed.
He leaned down, his nose nuzzling against your neck, inhaling you deeply before he looked deep into your eyes, ready to take what was his.
The wolf began to lick your upper body, focusing on your breasts, making you whimper, your fingers pulling on the fur of his arms. Slowly you let your hand slip down your body, your eyes widening when you came in contact with his cock, gasping softly.
The wolf looked up at you, grunting as you tried to wrap your hand around it, your hand too small.
You felt the wolf lick your cheek, and you looked up at him, wondering what he was thinking.
Taking a deep breath, you laid back, parting your legs for him even wider.
The wolf was actively looking between your pussy and his claws, and you wondered if the man inside him would be putting his fingers inside of you if he was able to. He closed his eyes as you guided his cock towards your pussy.
“Try to be gentle, yeah? At least at first…“ you hummed and sucked your bottom lip between your teeth, your eyes falling shut as the tip of his cock entered you ever so slowly. You stopped breathing. You didn’t know if it was seconds or hours until your pussy was stretched around his hot cock, the knot just outside of your pussy.
He waited until you relaxed, letting you get used to his size.
The wolf leaned down, his fur brushing against your skin, looking deeply into your eyes before he bottomed out and began to move. His cock slowly dragging through your walls, the foreign shape stretching you out and hitting all the right spots.
You held on to the broad shoulders of the creature fucking you slowly.
“Harder,“ you moaned quietly, trying to move your hips up, but the wolf growled, pinning you against the ground. He stilled inside of you before he pulled out of you.
Before you could react, he had you turned around, pulling you up so you were on your hands and knees, his cock entering you from behind in one hard thrust, making you cry out.
He fucked into you deeply, pumping his cock inside you, his claws holding on to your hips, keeping you where he wanted you.
“Oh fuck,“ you cried out, letting yourself fall down to your elbows, your head falling against the mattress.
The wolf howled, and you felt his cock throbbing, the pointed tip kissing your cervix, making your legs shake.
You felt so fucking full, his cock stretching you just right.
“I’m gonna cum,“ you whined, meeting his thrusts, and you screamed when you came, clenching around his cock. Fucking you through your orgasm, he leaned over your body, his fur brushing over your naked back. Aftershocks of your orgasm were still running through your body when you heard the wolf growl, the cock inside you seemed to get even bigger before he howled, his knot pushing inside of you, filling you with his cum and keeping it inside of you.
You felt his strong, soft arms wrapping around your middle before he slowly pulled you to your side, his cock still stuck inside of you, steadily filling you with his cum.
Breeding you.
You shuddered at the thought, feeling him lick your neck softly, pulling you even closer, keeping you warm.
The last thing you remember thinking before you fell asleep was that you wished you’d known his name…..
When you woke up, you found yourself under a mountain of blankets. Your memory was a little foggy, but you knew someone… or something had saved you. And from the soreness you felt all over your body, you were beginning to think you did not dream of the wolf who had taken you last night.
Your lips parted as you realised there was a fire cracking in the small fireplace. You sat up, looking down at yourself, noticing that you were now wearing a soft Flannel. You brought the fabric up to your nose, surprised when you found it smelling clean with a hint of… wood. It reminded you of how your uncle had smelled when he returned from his job at the local wood factory.
“Hello?” You called out, silence meeting you.
There was a full bottle of what looked like water next to the old sofa you had slept on. Opening the lid carefully, you smelled it, confirming it was water. It could be drugged, your mind provided. But you were too thirsty to care, almost chugging the whole bottle down before slowly pushing yourself up to stand.
You were wearing thick wool socks, your legs still naked. You brushed your fingers over a mark on your inner thigh.
Confused, you began to explore the room.
It had been cleared out, but for some reason, you did not think someone actually lived here. There was, however, food on the table. Just a can of old beans and a fork.
Narrowing your eyes, you eyed the can, your hands gripping the back of the chair that was tucked against the old wooden table. Looking down at your hands, you had grabbed something soft, finding yourself looking at an old, worn pair of sweatpants.
You began to feel like you were in the twilight zone, waiting for someone to jump out of a corner.
For him to find you in whatever form he was this morning.
Sucking your bottom lip in, you looked around again before you slowly slipped your legs into the sweatpants, finding them way too big. But they were warm and soft, and you sighed in relief.
Which didn’t last long, because you heard voices outside.
Frantically looking around, you found the rusty piece of metal you had with you when you had hidden the night before, grabbing it.
You moved behind the door as silently as possible, the voices coming closer.
“We’re not here to kill you,” someone called out. A man.
You heard that before.
“I know you have no reason to trust us. But we’re here to help.”
He could smell her.
Her and her flowery scent that seemed to drive him to insanity ever since he crossed it two days ago.
Due to his… other self, his senses were always better than those of an average human, but in the week leading up to the full moon, they seemed to sharpen even further. It was why he and Tommy always went out on their monthly trip to the radio tower that lasted three days when they really just used the full moon to hunt down infected and people who would potentially bring harm to Jackson.
He had been tracking three men, raiders, their scent full of adrenaline and arousal, when he came across your scent. Frightened, dehydrated, but so flowery and sweet that it was the only thing he could think about.
Still in his human form, he had seen you, almost naked, running frantically through the woods. Away from them.
He had kept an eye on you, the animal in him taking over, his urge to protect you taking over. Yet he waited until the next night, his wolf form making him stronger, to take your attackers out one by one, making it as painful as possible.
And then you were in his arms. Cold, unconscious, yet so so beautiful.
He brought you to the cabin he and Tommy had cleared out the month after he got to Jackson, setting you down on the couch.
Pulling a blanket over you, he was thankful for the fire Tommy must have lit when he had been here earlier, carefully putting another log of wood into the fire to keep it going.
Making his way back to you, he was overcome with the urge to have you back in his arms. Carefully, he pulled you against him, and you seemed to seek his warmth, your fingers digging into his fur.
Looking out, he counted that he had around three hours until the sun came up, and he’d change back to his human form.
He knew he should have left you there. He should have gone out, leaving you safe and unharmed.
He wished he could blame everything that happened in the cabin on his wolf side. The wolf side knew he had to have you because you were ready to breed. It’s why you smelled so sweet and irresistible for him. You were ovulating and ready to bear his offspring. But Joel was still inside. He knew what he was doing. And he tried to stop initially, but it was a fight he quickly let himself lose, getting lost in you. And the worst part was he enjoyed every single second. The way you held on to him. The way you tasted. The way you looked when you came. The way you smiled as he pumped you full of his cum, just before you passed out again.
Joel sighed, following his brother as he approached the house slowly. Joel could smell you. Adrenaline cursing through your veins.
“I’m Tommy, and this is my brother Joel,” Tommy stopped in front of the house, holding his hands up.
“We come from a community not far from here. We have water, electricity, food…”
Joel’s heart seemed to stop the moment he heard your voice.
“How do you even know I’m here?” You asked. Tommy’s eyes found Joel’s.
“We have cameras set up around the patrol route, and we saw you on one of them,” he lied easily.
Joel and Tommy had talked about what to tell you. Tommy knew from the moment they met up after the moon disappeared, smelling you all over him.
He did not ask questions when Joel told him they had to go get you from the cabin.
They both had their fair share of things they weren’t the most proud of, both as humans and werewolves. Tommy knew better than anyone else how hard it was to keep yourself in control when all the monster in you wanted was to claim someone.
It was how he met Maria.
Thankfully it all turned out for the best in the end, but still, Joel felt like a fucking monster.
The door opened, and you stepped out carefully, holding up the piece of metal he had found you with last night in front of you. You were wearing his shirt.
Mine.
His pants.
Mine.
He could smell himself all over you.
Mine.
He wondered if he was still dripping out of you.
“Cameras? You… You know how I got here?” You asked, your heartbeat quickened.
Tommy shook his head.
“No. The cameras only activate once you’re inside the cabin.”
“Oh,” you nodded, hesitating.
“Did you…. See something weird?”
“Just you pretty much passing out,” Tommy lied again.
“Weird,” you whispered to yourself, but both Joel and Tommy could hear it.
“So… what do you say? Care to join us?” Tommy asked.
“I… I should not trust strangers. But these last days have been… I’m still not quite sure how I survived…” you shook your head, your arms hugging yourself.
“You are welcome to wait out until patrol gets here. My wife will be with them, she’s kind of the leader of our little community,” Tommy said.
Your heartbeat slowed down.
“You’re married?” She asked with a small smile. Tommy nodded, his smile wide.
“Married and about to become a dad. Well… still a couple months to go, but, yeah.”
You nodded.
“What about your brother? Joel, was it?” You asked.
There was something familiar about the broad man standing just behind Tommy. He hadn’t looked at you directly once, but something told you you knew him.
“It’s complicated,” he said, and a shiver ran through your whole body, hearing his voice.
You swallowed.
“I haven’t heard that since college,” you joked.
“You went to college?” Tommy asked.
“Yeah. I was 19 when the outbreak happened,” you said.
“Did anyone make it?” Tommy asked.
You closed your eyes, shaking your head.
“Whole family is dead. The people I was with… Raiders killed them before they made me…” you shook your head, missing the way Joel’s whole body stiffened as he tried to control his anger.
“I’m so sorry,” Tommy said, and you sighed.
“Well. I should have learned not to get too attached to people. It’s a luxury nowadays to have someone.”
“Maybe you’ll have more luck in our community,” Tommy winked, and you took a deep breath. What other choices did you really have?
You were tired and weak, and maybe you had hallucinated having sex with a… wolf?
Because if they had cameras inside the cabin and last night really happened… You felt your cheeks growing warm, a throbbing between your legs.
You looked at Joel again, his eyes now on you. Brown eyes that seemed to look right into your soul, making you part your lips in a gasp.
Was it him?
He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, not looking at you again.
“What do you say, darlin’?” Tommy asked, and you did not miss the way Joel’s head snapped to look at his brother, glaring at him.
Tommy smirked.
“I think I would kill for a hot shower,” you said with a small smile.
“When are you gonna stop hovering like a mother hen and go tell her?” Joel almost jumped as he heard his brother’s voice behind him. He was hiding out of sight from you, watching how you helped Maria with some garden work.
It had been 16 nights since he had you, 15 days since you moved into the house next to his, and it had been pure hell. Being so close to you but not touching you. He took care of you in his own way, from afar. Meals showing up in front of your door, so he was sure you ate. Sending his brother over to fix up the house, because he did not know if he could hold himself back if he was so close to you.
He had done some reading the day before, not understanding why he felt like this.
Now, there wasn’t, like, some kind of How to be a Werewolf for Dummies book around, but what he found made him realise that you probably were his mate. He never felt like this before, his body physically hurting when he did not know where you were.
He wondered if you felt it, too. If you felt the changes…
“Tell her what?” Joel grumbled.
“You could start with telling her that you’re sorry that you behaved like a dick, then start with explaining to her that once a month you turn into a werewolf and that yes, it was you that fucked her. And then you could congratulate her that she’s pregnant,” Tommy listed, and Joel growled.
He had known he had bred you the moment he had changed back the morning after, his guilty conscience killing him ever since.
Not only that he took advantage of you, no, he claimed you, bred you, and it took everything in him not to make you his officially.
Joel shook his head.
“She’s gonna hate me. And fuck… A baby? I’m way too old to raise a child…”
“I don’t know, big brother, you’re doing a great job with Ellie. Any kid would be fortunate to have you as their dad,” Tommy said surprisingly softly.
Joel took a deep breath, watching you wave Maria goodbye as you walked down the street towards home.
“Okay,” Joel said, straightening his shoulders before he followed you home.
You were surprised when you came home and did not find food on your doorstep, if you were honest. You had asked Maria if finding food was normal. It wasn’t.
You had a suspicion as to who it was leaving it, but you had not found the confidence to ask him.
It was like every thought was filled with Joel since you saw his eyes. And even though it sounded insane, you were almost certain that the wolf from the night who claimed you and the man who seemed unable to look into your eyes afterward were the same person.
He felt familiar, like you knew each other, and it was getting harder each day to not be with him. You had never felt like this before, pining over a man who was not only much older than you but who you had never really talked to before.
Shaking your head, you stared at your reflection in the mirror before you washed your face. Tomorrow, you would start working at the greenhouse, and you wanted to make a good impression, which was why you decided to go to bed early.
You were brushing your teeth when you heard a knock on your door. Frowning to yourself, your body buzzing as if it knew who it was, you spit the toothpaste into the sink before you pulled the shirt you had from the cabin over your head and walked towards the door.
His eyes were on you as you walked over to your door, a nervous flutter in your belly as you slowly pulled the door open.
He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he looked at you, his jaw flexing.
“Hi Joel,“ you said quietly, your hand wrapped around the side of your door.
His eyes seemed to soften as he looked at you.
“Can… Can we talk?“ He asked.
Taken by surprise, you nodded.
“Would you like to come in?“
He could hear you in your kitchen, cluttering as you prepared him some tea. You had only been in this town, this house, for a week, and it already felt more homey than the house he lived in for the last years. Ever since Ellie moved out, he did not like spending time alone in his house. Something was missing.
You were missing.
“I hope you like peppermint,“ you said as you came back into your living room. He didn’t, but he would never tell you.
“Thank you,“ he said, nervous all of a sudden.
You sat down on the other side of the couch from him, pulling your legs against your chest as you looked at him.
“What did you want to talk about?“ You asked.
He took a moment to think about what to say, not really sure how to start.
“Is it about the… the night we met?“ he heard you ask carefully, and he turned his head to look at you, surprised.
“I thought it was a dream at first. How I woke up during the night. I thought I might be losing my mind, but… But I wasn’t, right?“ you asked.
He took a deep breath, before he shook his head.
“You weren’t. I.. I saved you. I killed those… monsters, only to…“
He felt your hand on his.
“Is that why you were ignoring me? Because you…“
“I took advantage of you! You smelled so sweet, and you were so soft… And I usually can control myself, I know what is happening, but I couldn’t around you. I had to… I have to have you. It’s like…. “
“Like you don’t feel whole when you’re not around me? Yeah. That’s how I feel too,“ you said quietly, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“You do?“
You nodded.
“You’re not… scared of me?“ he asked.
You giggled, slipping closer to him.
“Joel, you saved my life, and then you made me cum four times. Was I a little out of it? Maybe. But I don’t regret it.“
“Good… That’s… That’s… good…“ he mumbled, closing his eyes as he felt your warm hand on his cheek, turning his head towards you.
“You’re so pretty,“ you mumbled, and he chuckled.
“That’s the first thing you said to me that night,“ and he was still surprised about it.
“It’s true. It’s… I always knew there was more out there than just us. Well and walking mushrooms that are trying to kill us. And I might have read my fair share of fantasy books.“
“Yeah?“ he asked, his hand coming to rest on your thigh. You nodded.
“It’s hot,“ you shrugged before you leaned in and kissed him softly.
He rested his forehead against yours, breathing you in.
“I have to tell you something else,“ he said.
“What?“ you whispered.
“The reason why I couldn’t control myself was because my senses are heightened when I’m in my wolf form. And I… could smell that you were ovulating, which is why everything in my head screaming at me to… breed… you….“
Your lips parted, and he could practically hear you processing what he had just said.
“And… And…. Would you… Would you know if you bred me?“ you asked.
He nodded.
“Then I guess I should tell you that twin pregnancies are common in my family line,“ you said.
He huffed a laugh before he felt you climb into his lab.
“I think you should take me out on a date,“ you mumbled.
“Yeah?“
“Yeah,“ you nodded, before you leaned in and kissed him.
#my fic#Joel Miller#Joel Miller x fem. reader#Pedro Pascal#tlou fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic#fan fiction#werewolf au#werewolf joel miller
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thinking about that post you made about ice being a retired rockstar and I can't help but imagine a ton of other name knowing this guy and then he just drops off the face of the earth and also about a million other things I can't verbalize
Also hope you have an amazing day today!
AHHHH SAME BRAIN WORMSSSSSSS
I find Retired Rockstar Ice so hilarious because the man Clark Kent’s the entire world, he is the Miley Cyrus of his generation.
No one ever connects Kairo Jett — crazy frontman, emaciated and covered in in tats with a huge mane of teased black hair, with The Iceman — all lean muscles, bleach blond hair and never with a single ribbon out of place.
But his band, close music friends and later the flyboys, get to see the real deal, they get to see Tommy Kazansky, who is all soft sweaters, herbal tea, pumpkin muffins and Janis Joplin vinyls.
And later in life, Admiral Tom “Iceman” Kazansky hardly remembers the day when all the tabloids said he'd end up as one of the 27 club.
#top gun#top gun maverick#tom iceman kazansky#top gun 1986#i love this so much#RR Ice AU#My beloved#icemav#slicemav#flyboys#pete maverick mitchell#ron slider kerner#rock music#27 club
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Ok here is a loose drabble thing for my DC Earth:
Earth-H-704
(This is gonna be a lot of nonsense with no cohesion, that will have to come later. Just need to get these ideas on paper.)
(Inspirations are the Justice League and Justice League Unlimited shows. Also quite a few Justice League comics)
- Clark and Bruce meet before anyone else and work together before the Justice League is formed (world’s finest)
- during this time Dick gets taken in by Bruce and Alfred and starts being Robin
-Barry and Hal meet and become friends, they also help each other out from time to time
-Diana comes to America as a diplomat but quickly establishes herself as a hero (she also meets Steve)
-J’onn J’onnz is already on Earth and is acting under his human identity as John Jones. He’s desperately trying to settle into earth and find his place here. He’s working as a detective.
- Arthur has decided enough is enough and also acts as a hero via guardian of the sea stuff.
- well to be honest everyone is establishing themselves during this time. It’s essentially the coming of the age of superheroes.
- Despite working with Superman every once in a while Batman and Robin are still technically a myth.
-So is Arthur who has only been caught on camera like 5 times.
- Diana and Clark end up working together over something in Metropolis.
- This leads to them becoming friends and working together more often.
-Clark introduces Diana to Bruce. They end up working together on a few things and settle into this dynamic. (Trinity)
- eventually a massive invasion happens that causes the main seven to group up and fight against these guys. (Super friends one could say… no it’s the Justice League!!)
- So for the most part they think it’s a one and done sort of deal but incidents keep happening that force them together. (Barry and Bruce working together on a case, Hal and Clark stopping meteors from crashing into earth, Diana and Arthur and J’onn work together to set up safety for aquatic life and talk about how the feel a bit out of place in this new world they find themselves in)
- eventually the Justice League properly forms after another invasion happens and they all work really well together.
- It’s the Trinity (founders (Clark and Diana lure Bruce in by claiming needing help) (he knows they don’t really need his help but he can’t deny them anything)) that properly set up the Justice League. Just with the seven as members for now but willing to add more.
-They all settle into this new arrangement well, and they get that Justice League building built.
- after a few attack attempts Bruce gets the Watch Tower built and then they all settle up there. (He’s attached now, he will never admit it.) (Diana and Clark know.)
- after this several other members are added (Dinah, Oliver, Zatanna, Red Tornado, Shayera, Carter…. Many more)
Basically this is it for now.
Other things that don’t really fit into the timeline yet but do happen:
- there are so many Green Lanterns. The Oa realized earth is a hotbed for universal chaos and recruited even more Green Lanterns for that section of the Universe. (Because I love John Stewart, Kyle Rayner, Jessica Cruz, just a lot of them.)
- Technically there was already an age of heroes that came and passed (Alan Scott and such) but they all either disappeared or went into hiding. (Listen I loved the image of Bruce and Tommy watching Alan fight in Batman: Hush. It felt so weirdly inspiring and I can also imagine Clark sitting down and watching The OG Flash be a superhero.) (I might change this and make these guys a separate universe but I love them so it’ll stay like this for now)
- MORE SIDEKICKS (Roy!! Wally!! Donna!!)
- Dinah and Oliver power couple!
- secret identity shenanigans
That’s all for now might add more later
#batman#bruce wayne#diana prince#diana of themyscira#wonder woman#clark kent#superman#dick grayson#dc flash#barry allen#hal jordan#green lantern#arthur curry#aquaman#j’onn j’onzz#martian manhunter#dc comics#dc#dcu#Justice league#jl#dc headcanon#headcanon verse#justice league au#dc au#my au#dc alternate universe#earth-h-704#this is so dumb#but if I wanna write fanfics I need to get this stuff straight in my head
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Tommy Shelby's Barmaid
Tommy Shelby X Reader
Anonymous Request -
Good morning/afternoon/evening/night Sammy Sammy yes I am! So check this out - I just saw Oppenheimer and came to the conclusion that I really miss seeing Cillian Murphy's face. So that night I began rewatching Peaky Blinders and am just in awe. So you know the point. I want to be his barmaid. No hate to Grace, love her, but let a girl just imagine. And that's where you come in. So yeah I wanna be his barmaid and sing to him. Maybe we're off to the races? Do your thing or else I'll might do a thing and report your account! :)
Word Count: pretty long
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"And where are we off to, Miss?"
"One ticket to London, please!" you told the airport cashier, (or whatever they're called I'm not sure tbh), with your gleeful, bimbo smile. "The UK, one, thought. Not the Ohio one! Can't have that happening again!"
The lady didn't respond, she instead gave you a soft customer service fake ass laugh pretending she knew full well what you were talking about and kept her eyes down on the computer, securing that flight. You no longer trusted yourself to use computers or laptops, thanks to those Benadryl pills you used to be addicted to. But now that you were evicted from your New York apartment, you lost those pills in the process, and honestly all of your personal shit, so you've been forced to quit cold turkey and was actually experiencing withdrawals at the very moment. But, you couldn't let anyone know this! You needed to leave America fast.
"Okay, to confirm your name, Y/L/N, Y/F/N, correct?"
"Yes, ma'am!" You passed her your credit card and she did her magic, charging you a fuck ton of money!
The printer pooped out your ticket and she passed both that and your card back to you.
"Enjoy your flight. Safe travels," the lady wished you.
"Oh my god, girl, you too!" you wished back. You turned around and found your terminal, buying an expensive Starbucks drink of your choice and plopping your big butt down on a chair. You sat and looked around, sipping your coffee like a mother, taking in your surroundings of this little JFK airport they got going on.
"I'm really a world traveler right now...like, I'm on some Lewis and Clark shit right now," you thought to yourself.
You looked down at your luggages, or perhaps, just luggage. All that remained after your eviction just filled one Hello Kitty-themed suitcase you bought from TJ Maxx. You also had your rare vintage Juicy Couture purse you bought from Depop, thats faux leather was literally peeling off like dead skin, filled with all your essentials - lip gloss, nearly dead Elf Bar, crumpled up two-year-Goodwill old receipts, wired headphones because that's what cool people use walking down the street, crystals, loose hair ties, a baby Calico Critter, wire-exposed phone charger, and more that aren't too important to mention. You did miss all your other knick knacks and items that were lost, but since you were traveling light you 1. saved more money since it was just carry-on and 2. looked mysterious, just a girl on the road on her own adventure.
"After all, items are just like - items. Things." you thought, trying to convince yourself that all material items are just not real and people don't really need those things. This is what you repeated to yourself over and over but in all honesty it wasn't helping. You were fucking pissed you lost all your shit.
With all your items was your go-to airport fit - a Juicy baby blue tracksuit. So now you resorted to old PJ's you had shoved to the bottom depths of your drawer, wrinkled to the house boots down and forgotten of existence. They were a pair of Nike shorts and a baby tee that read "I <3 Surfer Boys". You then looked down to your white Crocs with the knock-off Jibblitz - the ootd would just have to do.
As you sat in your terminal, waiting, you thought about what adventures UK would bring to you. You wondered what people you'd encounter, what new storylines you'd get wrapped into, what NPCs would say to you - it really did feel like you were fast-traveling into another country in a video game.
Safe to say, you were ready for liftoff! Whenever that liftoff! would be because your flight was delayed like three times cause that's just airport things! This was the start of a new adventure! New and humble beginnings! No more America and their never-ending obsession with you committing financial fraud or whatever the IRS loved to say! But never mind that don't ask don't PUSH!!!!!!
Some hours later, you were finally able to board your flight. By this time, let's just say - people were fucking pissed about their flight being delayed, but you didn't really mind it. Yes, you were in a big time rush to leave America as soon as possible, but all that time waiting allowed you to finish the only downloaded show on your phone: LPS Popular. Shit was finally getting heated, Savannah Reed was def the no nonsense type of girl you envisioned yourself to be.
Anyway whatever you boarded on, took your window seat and went through the usual bullshit of waiting for everyone to board on and take off and turbulence and random ass baby crying and shitty food and whatever.
About a half hour in the sky, you looked through the catalogue of movies available - none which caught your interest.
However, after scrolling for another half hour - you found the one.
"Oh my god, a movie about two lovers flying in the sky staring Cillian Murphy and Rachel McAdams?!" you thought excitedly. "That's some good shit right there."
You hit that play button, scooted deeper into that seat, propped your patas up, and was subsequently locked IN for the short ass movie Red Eye.
The majority of the plot went over your head because you were to entranced with the Irish actor's cunty little face, sassy little attitude and blue big orbs for eyes, causing you to replay certain scenes over and over. (Specifically that bathroom scene. You didn't miss SHIT there). That hour and a half passed by and the movie had finished. Safe to say, you were NOT expecting any of that shit to go down.
"If that were me, I'd call that fucking hotel before he even told me to. Shit. I get Mark Wahlberg, if I was on that plane, things really would have gone differently," you thought, shaking your head. ]
After your almost seven hour flight, you had finally made it to London Town. It was indeed a stormy day, he was right, but you could go outside and roam around, contrary to popular belief. In order to prep for this trip, you stuck to just watching British films, trying to get an overall vibe of what those little redcoats were like. Pride and Prejudice (2005), Love Actually, Trainspotting, Little Women (Greta's version), Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon - let's just say, your Letterboxd was going crazy. You sobbed pretty disgustingly to all of them, except Trainspotting and Clockwork, which made you feel just icky. And Barry Lyndon just made you angry fuck that guy fr.
A/N - I just realized that Little Women, both Greta's version and the older 90s Winona Ryder one take place, in FACT, America. Oops! So yeah disregard move on u horndog <3
You once thought you were well-rounded on what chaos was, after all, you've been 1. in theater school, 2. briefly in the Medellin cartel, 3. worked in corporate America - but all of those experiences looked like fun Sunday pastimes the moment you stepped your fat butt off of the plane into London's Heathrow airport. Nothing could've prepped you for this shit. Too many people all doing different things in different directions was NOT your favorite place to be in! Let's just say - shit was hectic.
You boarded off, left your terminal and gathered your one Hello Kitty-themed suitcase and bolted the fuck out, running at your highest speed possibly, your Crocs locked in their sports mode, you just ran. It's what you did best, your superpower some might say. Maybe since Ezra Miller is canceled for being a kidnapper, you could possibly replace the Flash? Who knows tbh.
You ran so fast, miles and miles, (kilometers here!), you didn't realize you were now standing in front of the Big Ben. It was, admittedly, pretty big. Too bad you couldn't read time like that.
You looked down to your phone to see your receipt - you needed to be back in three hours for your next flight to Glasgow, Scotland - your actual destination. This London shit? Yeah it was only a layover. But you couldn't miss it.
You ended up missing it. You fell asleep on the big red bus, thinking you could sneak a little tour in before having to return for your next flight. By the time you woke up, it was morning, and you were alone, just you and your carry on.
"Ello Miss? Miss?"
Your eyes fluttered, adjusting to the brightness. A big English dude with missing and fucked up teeth was poking you awake.
"Bro what?" you muttered, pushing yourself up.
"Miss, it seems you've drifted off to sleep," the man said.
"Wait," you collected your thoughts, looked around at your surroundings, then down to your phone - your flight was seven hours ago. You felt your heart fall to the acidic pits of your stomach -
"Ain't no fucking way I'm stuck in London", you blurted out. "AIN'T NO FUCKING WAY!"
As if you took ten shots of DayQuil, you jumped up, scrambled for your shit and rocked the bus side to side as your Crocs took you across it, out to the exit and back onto the cobblestone streets of London Town. It was cloudy as always.
"Oh no. Oh fuck. Oh no. NO I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T!" you yelled, running back towards the direction of that hell of an airport. You needed to get back. You NEEDED to get back to Scotland, you literally saw Trainspotting just for Scotland!
But alas, it was too late. By the time you made it back to Heathrow, there was no refunding. You would have to pay another fat BUCK to get on another flight.
"Oh fuck that," you told the English lady. You walked back out, no way this little kingdom was gonna make a profit off of your ass. "I'd rather walk!"
And then you began to walk. Not run, you were a little hungry and needed some energy for that amount of dedication.
You stopped by a tea place and thought that you might as well have a crumpet or whatever, which sucked ass. They charged so much for what? A pastry with like three grams of sugar? Girl bye.
You sat on the curb, looking down at your phone and opening a map, you could literally just walk to Scotland. Yeah it'd be a pretty fat walk, but you might get a crazy BBL ass for free from all the walking.
"Babes? Are you alroight?" you heard a strong British voice call. You turned and there it was - a chav. A real fucking chav.
"Oh my god, you guys exist?"
She furrowed her dark over-filled brows as she smacked her nude-lipsticked lips on a piece of gum. There were other chavs behind her, all bleach blonde, overly tan and red ass cheeks. It was like your friend group, but in an alternate universe.
"Wot?" she asked again, more confused than offended.
"Listen girl, I don't know if you can tell - but I'm not from here. I need to get to from the UK to Scotland. How does a girl like me do that?"
"Babes? Yor in the UKay, loike, this is London?"
"Huh?" you asked, like Trisha Paytas in the car.
"Babes," another chimed in, "the UKay is loike, mooltiple places poot into one? Loike, England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales -"
"Oh, so they're all like, the same?"
Their faces dropped with fear.
"Babes, don't say that. I've just met you, but I'd definitely tell you loike, don't say that around other peepol," the main chav warned.
"Especially the Irish, yeah," another said. "They'd be mentool."
"Oh, no worries here. I'm an ally to all," you assured, "so do you know where I can rest for the night?"
"Babes!" the chav said excitedly, "I've got family in Birmingham! It's up norf, already on the way for yor travels! I'll text me nana so you can stay there fo free!"
"Babes," you said, you're cheap frugal ass getting hyped, "you're such a babe! Thanks girlie!"
You ended up dropping some money to take an Underground from London to Birmingham, because you then really realized your Crocs could only momentarily take you so far. Also, tat withdrawal wasn't doing you any favors. Anyway you enjoyed the ride, drinking some complimentary tea with your headphones in and disassociating as you looked out the window into the cement walls. You started to regret not bringing some sort of sweater because who would've thought a baby tee and Nike shorts would be enough. Shit was chilly.
You stepped off into the platform, feeling a strong GUST of wind rush past you. You first kinda enjoyed it like it was some sort of main character moment, but the moment that ghastly smell of smoke hit your nostrils - you went frozen like Mitch McConnell.
"Jeeeeeesus CHRIST!" you bellowed, "who fucking farted?"
You looked around, but soon became even more confused. Everyone was giving you the hardest stares you've ever received in your lifetime. But it wasn't their stares, no, you've been stared at before for worst things, it was cause of their - fits.
Everyone was dressed like some 1900s shit. It reminded you of the show Downton Abbey, the show your old boss Logan Roy used to binge. Little particles of what looked like dandruff floated around you and everything else just seemed gray.
"Wait, are you guys filming?" you asked in your bimbo self, smiling, "did I just walk onto set?"
No one replied. They really thought you were insane. There you were - rough looking, mid-withdrawal, I <3 Surfer Boys, old high school Nike shorts, Crocs, Five Below socks, Dollar Store sunnies, Hello Kitty-themed suitcase and Juicy bag, Elf bar in one hand and your phone with dangling earbuds wrapped around it. They were petrified.
You grew angry. You just stood there as they stood there too - both you and the Downton Abbey cosplayers were in a stand off.
"Okay whatever," you said, rolling your eyes. "Stay hating!"
You whipped around and began walking down the pavement, calling, or as the English say "ringing", that chav's nana. However, it rang and rang, you dialed and dialed, the lady was not picking up.
"Um, what the fuck?" you said looking down at your phone, "can this girl pick up?"
You continued to dial, your other hand to your waist like a Karen. You continued to look around as it rang, really impressed with the set.
It had been very foggy, and the cobblestone roads led down between old brick buildings where people in their 1920's costumes walked along, smoking and dodging the occasional explosion from the coal-burning coming from inside the buildings. Horses were trotting, carrying hay and other shit. People were yelling in their crazy accents and the dandruff kept raining down. Pillars up in the sky let out dark clouds of smoke. That gross exhaust smell still lingered, and no matter how much Nicki Minaj body spray you put on yourself, there was no way to mask it.
"Great. I'm homeless AGAIN!" you thought, giving up on that nana. "Whatever. I didn't even want a roof to sleep under anyway. C'est la vie honestly."
The stares did not cease. In fact, it got worse. You knew you were hot but like what the fuck can't a girl just walk and bitches mind their business?
Things were getting worse. The cobblestone ass road made it hard for you to pull your suitcase, so you were just essentially dragging it, you phone was on ten percent, you were hungry and thirsty because let's be real you did not eat much on that train, and honestly just over it.
You passed all the workers, dodged some random explosions, evaded random running children, spit some of that dandruff out of your mouth. Safe to say, you were angry but needed to persevere!
Eventually it was nighttime. You couldn't really tell if it was night or if it was just the pollution in the air at first, but after asking a random man he assured you it was indeed nighttime.
"I don't know how you guys live with all this dandruff," you told him, shaking your head. "You guys must be getting paid good as extras."
"Dandruff?" the man said, "that's ash, luv!"
"Thank god, that makes more sense. I was thinking I was gonna need to buy some Heads and Shoulders. I hate Heads and Shoulders."
He continued to look at you weird while he smoke his, what you were pretty sure in the span of you two talking, sixth cigarette. "Heads and shoulders? Fuck are they to do with your hair?"
"I know, horrible branding. I feel bad for the people in Pompeii. They probably thought it was like, a dandruff epidemic."
Eventually the man directed you to the Garrison, which was supposed to be this pub or whatever that all the locals hit up. You really just wanted a drink of water and like Taco Bell or something. Maybe a "Macky D's"? By the time you made it to the establishment, it was midnight, since you took forever cause you kept getting lost.
It was situated in a weird spot, where several men would occasionally run out and throw up bad on the dirt floor. It sounded hella noisy and rough in there, which was something you were not looking forward to. But again, you're hungry.
"I'm fucking starving," you thought to yourself as you pushed those heavy doors open, your suitcase getting caught in them. A surge of anger caused you to yank it past the swinging door, causing the it to slam against the wall and crack the glass. You got scared cause you didn't wanna pay for it, so you applied the "hear nothing, see nothing" tactic. It always worked <3
Nothing could've prepared you for when you entered. The energy was just not it. Heathrow vibes for sure. Hoards of drunk ass English men doing, well, things that drunk English men do. They were yelling, cursing, fighting, just being overall very annoying and overwhelming. It took you by surprise, you were just in awe that English were real. It was literally like a Call of Duty lobby but the English colonized it as they always do.
"These motherfuckers are crazy bro," you thought to yourself, getting a seat at the bar. The bartender made his way to you, and after some hesitation on his end, he finally spoke.
"Em, what can I get you, ma'am?" he asked, looking at you confused.
"Y'all got a menu?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Food, bro. I want food." You were not having it.
"I'm sorry, I'm afraid there's just drinks here."
"Fine, fucking alcoholics," you said, holding in your hangriness, "what about water?"
"Huh," he thought, "no one ever asks for water. I forgot we served it!"
He turned around and as he began to pour some crusty water into a dusty glass, you felt a tap on your shoulder. But before you could even turn to ask what the fuck whoever wanted what, another big burly English drunk dude was all up in your face.
"ELLO MISS! MIGHT I HAVE A CHANCE AT BUYIN' YA A DRINK?"
You were flabbergasted. Dude REEKED of some ale.
"Uh, you stink," was all you could muster, pressing your fingers on your nose.
His face fell into a very angry one. "YOU FOOCKIN' JEZEBEL!"
You weren't sure what 'jezebel' meant so you just rolled your eyes and turned back to the new glass of water placed in front of you by the bartender, and before he could walk off you downed the entire thing. He, too, like McConnell, was frozen at your abilities.
"Sorry about that man, Miss," the bartender said as he poured you another. "You're very pretty. Must be getting used to it by now around here."
"Yeah, like, about that," you started, taking your time with the water this time because you didn't know how much they had left in this place, "why is everyone cosplaying? Like, people here are DEEP into their character, which, don't get me wrong - I respect. I used to be a theater major myself, so I get it. But this is like, crazy. I know the English love their theater, but god."
The bartender, with a hypothetical gun to his head, could not for the life of him understand what the fuck you meant. You kinda got that vibe when he didn't reply right away. He actually looked worried for your mental wellbeing.
"Um, why did you just like, disassociate?" you asked.
"I'm sorry, Miss," he chuckled nervously, "you've just confused me, is all."
"Yeah, all that alcohol is giving you that early onset dementia. Do you know where I can get food around here?"
"Hmm," he thought, "I don't really know, to be honest with ya. And it's quite late, so I'm not sure what's open."
You could cry. You hated being hungry and tired at the same time, added to literally everything else that was happening around you. You were able to tune out the drunken men yelling behind you, but only to a point - mama was close to blowing.
"Oh my GOD," you started. "WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO TO GET SOME FUCKING FOOD AROUND HERE?!" you caught yourself. The bartender was growing more concerned. "I'm sorry," you cleared your voice, "it's just like, your queen for real sucked."
"Queen?" he asked.
"Wow, you're really dedicated to the craft. Like I said, I respect." You continued to drink your water.
"How'd you end up here in London, anyway?" he asked, leaning against the counter. You later found out his name was Harry, like Styles.
"Oh, buddy," you said, "what a story I have for you."
You then began to blabber on about what brought you to this point, which helped because it made you forget about your current grievances. Soon, the entire pub went dead quiet, tuned in to your story time. You felt like Tana Mongeau, and these were your viewers. You get why the majority of YouTubers were lowkey conceited. (Not Tana though she's funny love you girl <3). It was like a big kindergarten story time.
About half an hour later, you were mid-way through.
"And so, when my boss literally fucking died, I was like, 'oh shit, I've like lost my job by like, proxy'? It was scary."
"How'd he pass?" one of the drunk men asked.
"Dude, get this. He died getting his phone out of the toilet. Like, some Elvis shit," realizing they wouldn't get what you just said, you thought it best to move right on, "anyway, I was like, 'maybe this is a good time to move on, maybe America isn't the place for me.' I was also wanted by the Men in Black, too. They don't fuck around."
"Who's the Men in Black?" Harry asked.
"The IRA were after ya?" another asked, in shock.
"I. R.S. It's not important. So, after he died, one of his kids had to be chosen to take over the company. Imagine like a Game of Thrones sort of thing. My on-and-off boyfriend, Kendall, is the oldest so you'd think it'd be him, right? Like, his name was underlined and everything. Or crossed out, you know, is the dress blue and black or white and gold? The day of, I snuck into the building for the board meeting. I wasn't supposed to be there, cause you know, I'm not a share holder or whatever, but I thought 'if I act like nothing happened, maybe technically I'm NOT fired cause my boss died, maybe nobody will say anything?' Confidence takes you a loooong way let me tell you! So at the board meeting, I voted Kendall, but his stupid home alone ass brother Roman was like 'oh YOU'RE still here?'. Then he told me to fuck off and that I should've died with Logan? Could you believe that?"
They were all in shock, muttering angry English curse words to each other.
"And then I was like, 'no fuck you. What ever happened to democracy? I don't have a vote?'. But whatever, Kendall didn't win and he left the building. No, Horton Hears a Who Tom won, and while everybody was celebrating I was like, 'guys? GUYS! ALL EYES ON WINDOWS! WHERE DID KENDALL GO? All eyes on windows!'. Then I got like, kicked out or whatever. I kept spamming Kendall, texting him and calling him and nothing. Like 'Kenny, wya???'. He was ghosting me. Then I saw right after he put his phone on Do Not Disturb. Targeted, really. I saw his location at Central Park, facing the water, and this had me WORRIED. Kendall and bodies of water? Yeah they don't mix well. I needed to talk to him before he jumped! But when I got there, his new dumbass body guard was like, 'Can you leave? He's not seeing anyone'. I kept calling him, and he wouldn't turn to look at me. He was like, mega dissociating watching that horizon."
"Must've killed him that he's no longer the number one boy," a drunken English man said, somber.
"Def," you said.
"So you and Kendall?" another asked.
"No more. He never picked up, so I thought we were done," the men in the bar were devastated. "Yeah, really sad. I already mourned, though. So, yeah, I was like, 'what do I do now?' Logan gave me some money, so I can really just do anything? I was walking down the streets of New York and saw a random man in a suit I thought was the IRS, and it hit me - I'm lowkey a fugitive? I need to like, leave. Logan isn't there to protect me anymore, you know? And then it hit me - I'll go to Scotland! In Logan's honor! Like, his hometown. Plus, I thought Scotland didn't have extradition, but it was actually Venezuela. But it's okay, same shit. And that's why I'm here."
"But this is Birmingham?" another man said.
"Oh, yeah, don't worry I fully aware. But yeah, that's it."
Again, the pub had been silent. They'd been intrigued, captivated. You waited for someone to speak up and break the silence, but about two minutes later you realized that wasn't gonna happen.
"Okay? Anyway, so nothing to eat here?" you asked Harry.
He shook his head, stunned. You then slowly crept off the chair, gathered your shit and saw your way out. "Weirdos," you thought.
You exited back out, it was now fully dark with few lampposts shining light onto the falling dandruff. It all reminded you of exactly where you were - stuck.
You slumped against the wall, onto the ground where you didn't see any of the mud that splashed all over your shorts. You were too tired and over it to give a fuck. You pulled out your phone, and saw the battery on 2%.
"Man FUCK!" you exclaimed, "I know damn well none of these Lin Manuel Miranda stans built an electric socket."
You went on to scroll mindlessly through your feed, which barely loaded because of the lack of signal. You were in the middle of spamming the refresh button until you received a notification from Snapchat that read, "One Year Ago Today". You clicked it open, forgetting you still had that app downloaded, and its contents nearly pushed you over the edge to start balling.
You clicked play.
"Oh, don't be a pussy, Greggguh!"
"Mumusdsfjks," Greg said, shoving more marshmallows into his mouth, "Chubb Bunif."
"Sorry, buddy, couldn't hear you!" Tom said, giddy, shoving his own marshmallow down Greg's mouth.
"You got it Greg!" you heard yourself say.
You wanted to cry. You wished you could just go back to Waystar in that moment, playing the Chubby Bunny challenge with gay lovers Tom and Greg.
"Man, I miss them," you thought. But alas, that was all gone now...
You quickly closed the video, going to your bank app to see how much money remained. After all, Logan DID leave you with enough, but you couldn't help yourself on those McDonald's breakfast orders through Uber Eats.
Your tears quickly evaporated like they were put through the snap of Thanos when you got a glance of your credit score though. Oh no.
"OH MY GOD?!??! MY CREDIT IS AT 400????!!? I'M LIKE, FUCKED?!???!"
"What's a credit score?"
You nearly shit yourself at the deep, sullen voice. You looked up and let's just say - you were intimidated. It's the terrorist dude from Red Eye. He wore a flat cap and a tweed little suit type of fit.
But it wasn't the tweed that had you transfixed - no, it was those eyes....they were familiar. The last time you felt power of being in a trance like that were those Furbies... it forced you to look at them, you had lost all ability of self-control. They made you question yourself, your purpose and whole life being. They were commanding you with their uncanny valley vibe. Their immense gravity caused all time to slow...
"Dude, put those away!" you yelled, forcing your eyes shut and looking away.
He didn't reply.
"I'm sorry," you giggled, realizing he wasn't gonna reply to you and instead just stood there. "I'm just really hungry. You got anything?"
He thought for a moment. "Actually...we don't eat." He had a little sassy, matter-of-factly tone of speaking you fucked with heavily.
"Yeah, that's why your official dish is tikka masala," a glance of that dish popped into your head. "Man I could fuck that up right now."
"I can take you to my office, I might have something there," he said. You agreed right after, anything would have to do. Little did you know, this would be the man who would save you. Not in a self-fulfilling sense but he'd grab you something to eat.
You two made it to his office, some ways away. It was just a big ass dark room with tables in the middle, which you would later find out the betting on his horse racing took place.
You sat down and he took off his coat and goofy ass hat, then went to the back for a moment. You looked around, you felt like you were in a dungeon. You looked down to your phone - shit was dead.
He came back moments later, with a single loaf of bread he placed in front of you. He then took a seat across from you, took out a cigarette and did what the English do best, smoke.
You were a bit taken aback, and it definitely showed, since his little sassy face got more sassier.
"Well?" he bellowed, motioning to the food.
"Honestly," you started, not wanting to offend cause he did scare you (in a hot way), "I don't know what more I was expecting. I know Panera bread when I see it."
You began to eat, he just watched you. You would be annoyed had this been anyone else, but man was too fine.
Some minutes went by, and he just smoked while you ate. He was definitely a man of few words.
"You're so mysterious," you said. "Is that your character?"
He took in a big puff and put his feet up on the table like he owned the place, cause he literally did. "You don't belong here."
"Yeah, no fucking shit. I'm supposed to be in Scotland."
"What's in Scotland?" he asked, tapping his cigarette into an empty whiskey glass.
"Bagpipes, I've heard."
He then leaned to the side, grabbing his cigarette case out and offering you one. You declined.
"It's okay, I don't like cigarettes. They're gross," you went inside your bag and pulled out your crusty geriatric Elf Bar that was on life support, "here, try this! She's my sidekick!"
He stared at it, not a thought behind those eyes. He then rose up.
"What about a whiskey, eh?" He went to a table against the wall and poured two glasses. You shrugged at his decline of your Elf Bar, and took some shitty hits cause girl it's dead give it up.
As he had his back to you pouring the glasses, you really thought about how manly he was, in a way all those Ryan Gosling Drive stans love. He reminded you of those mafia boss fanfics you used to read. The way he spoke was so low and serious, but it made your feet rock like crazy!
He turned back around and placed your glass in front of you. Before he sat, he took a swing of his and literally drank it all in one shot like an animal. Wanting to impress him, you did the same, but soon regretted it right after. You'd tried whiskey before, but that was just not good. It was so strong it burned your esophagus, causing you to feel like you had strep throat all over again. You nearly gagged and threw it up but you couldn't let Tommy see you that way. He was staring.
"Jesus Christ," you said in a raspy, chain smoker voice, trying to smile through the pain, "that's some real shit right there. I'd much prefer a BuzzBall."
"What brings you to the UK?" he asked again, a little more interrogating.
"Fine. I'm avoiding parole."
"Parole?"
"Have you ever been on parole?" you asked.
He took a moment, your question hit hard. "Ever since men like me got back from France, we've always felt we were on parole under the king." He had a sadness to it, which then made you kinda sad.
"Aww, you're a parole baby <3."
He rose his brows in a "yeah this girl off it" way.
"Does France give you bad memories?" you asked, wanting to know both out of being a nosy bitch and seeing if you could break him.
"Most nights," he said.
"Don't worry, me too."
"You served?"
"I might has well have," you replied, thinking of that past life living with your old boyfriend.
"I wasn't aware women served."
"We always do," you assured. You kept looking into his eyes like it was a staring contest.
"What's it you're looking at?"
"You have a very, no-nonsense cunty face. Like BBL," you first smiled telling him that, but it then reminded you of when you told your old boyfriend Kendall the same thing. The thought of him made you sad, you wondered where your number one boy was now...
You didn't realize but Tommy noticed your change in demeanor, initially believing you were thinking about your time during the war in France. He rose and grabbed another drink, placing one in front of you as he killed his in less than a second.
You snapped out of your sadness. "Oh, no thanks. I don't think I can have anymore. This trip will definitely be very detoxing for me."
You two then sat in comfortable silence for some time, as if you two were both mourning after the innocence lost before France. You were something different for him, a new comfort he couldn't find much else in that polluted ass city. And you found comfort in him, he really did seem like he needed fixing. But that's not what you do, no no, he's a grown ass man and can fix himself. You'll just watch from the sidelines <3.
Eventually, you stayed in Birmingham. Once you were aware that your money had no value in the UK, you realized you needed to be employed again to save up for Scotland. Dollars, turns out, did not equal shillings and pounds or whatever. Tommy hooked you up after finding out your situation and generously gave you a job at the Garrison as a barmaid, along with Harry, who in time, became your BFF. It wasn't that hard of a job, these men never mixed any drinks and would instead have their alcohol straight like a bunch of monsters, so you kinda ate at this job. Another perk was that these 1920s bitches loved thin eyebrows, so your Y2K overplucked eyebrows fit right in! Full circle shit!
But perhaps the best perk was when Tommy would come in every so often and give you a little LOOK. Oh that shit made you rabid yes it did! It made you all hot down there and you couldn't handle it! You two barely spoke, as he would go into the side room for meetings and whatever mumbo jumbo he got up to with his brothers, but when you did you did your best to bring out that old femme fatale. You knew damn well he'd fuck that shit up. And let's be real so did you.
You knew that you had Tommy in your CLUTCH when he was once lecturing you - basically there was talk about some Billy Kimber dude amongst him and his brothers and the members of the gang, but you couldn't get past how fun it was to say the man's name, especially in their wild ass accent. You kept incessantly shouting it, to what you thought was a joke, "BILLY FACKIN KIMBA" in every possible moment you could, but it would send all the men into a paranoid shock thinking Billy boy was just around the corner. Obviously, he wasn't, in fact you couldn't point out who Billy Kimber was in a crowd of English, but let's just say - it sent them for a sheer panic. They would constantly tell Tommy to get you to stop, since it was bringing back war trauma basically and never felt fear like that since the war. You personally thought they were being a bunch of pussies but whatevs.
Anyway Tommy found you at the bar after closing and wanted to have a serious talk with you - no more random BILLY FACKIN KIMBA. As he was lecturing you on the dangers of it, you actually started to disassociate in those eyes of his. You then started to think,
"What if I just grabbed his hat?"
Those intrusive thoughts grew stronger and stronger as the moments flew by and the more his voice became a bunch of muffled nothing. And they won.
"GOTCHA HAT!" you spat before taking his flat cap off and running with it, jumping over the bar on some parkour shit and pushing those doors open onto the grimy streets of Birmingham, in an excited manic. You ran for nothing, since you didn't notice in the adrenaline of it all he didn't move an inch and instead just stood at the bar, stumped. From that point on, he knew you weren't like other girls. Cause let's be real who in their right fucking mind would do that to Tommy Shelby? You did girl xoxo <3
But when your image with Tommy REALLY hit home for the guy, it was one night. One very special night...
You were working the night shift at the Garrison, again. It was another rainy day in London Town, and you were all alone cleaning up. You started to think about Gabbie Hanna, and how low key right she was. You continued to rap to yourself,
"♪ Overwhelmed, overworked, overpaid. I'm on top of the world sitting pretty ♪ -"
The doors flew open, causing you to jump pretty high up. You looked to the entrance, it was Tommy. And man was drenched and tired looking, your fave combo.
He walked over, behind the bar and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He was always a little emo and to himself, but something about him now was really depressing, like man's definitely going through it.
He then took a seat at a table, and looked at you with dead eyes.
"What's with the frown?" you asked, trying to lighten up the mood but was severely unsuccessful. (Unbeknownst to you he literally just had to put down a horse he thought was cursed :/ it's a canon event!)
He didn't reply. Surprise surprise instead he just drank his whiskey done. You chewed your gum, clueless.
You just continued to clean, continuing Gabbie's rhyme in your head.
"♪ Overwhelmed, overwork, underpaid ♪ -"
"Can you sing?"
You turned around again. He fr sounded sad asf. It shocked you, cause did he like, read your mind or sum?
"Uh, yeah. You want me to sing?"
"Every barmaid knows how to sing."
"Okay, sure. Like acapella?"
He just stared at you, lost again with your mumbo jumbo.
"Well, I know Lana, I know Nicki, my ex had a song L to the OG-"
"Lana. She sounds nice."
You nodded. "She really is, I love her. Okay, I think I know a song."
"Stand up there," he pointed to a table. You were a bit hesitant, the last time you did that you ate shit like that one girl on YouTube who was also singing on a table and ate shit. But it was for Tommy so you did so anyway.
You climbed up, took out your gum, flicked it in a bucket, cleared your throat, moved your hair out of your face, and fixed your posture - this was your Pose moment tonight, and Tommy's Billy Porter.
You then started to sing White Mustang by Lana, but the moment you got to the chorus, which was, well, White Mustang, he told you to stop.
"Something else, please," he asked demanding yet softly.
"What? Too close to home? Don't worry, Lana does that," you assured, "here, I'll sing a song that hits close to me, it's called How to disappear, it's what do when I'm trying to run from the IRS."
You cleared your throat again and started to sing and girl you ATE THAT SHIT!!!!!
You hit those fucking notes, you were lost in your little own world envisioning yourself in a music video. You understood why America's Got Talent contestants were nervous, cause the pressure? Yeah it's real. And not only is Tommy Billy Porter, he's also Simon Cowell - a yes from that Brit would secure your spot.
Speaking OF Tommy, because momentarily you forgot he was there with you - the man was enthralled, ENCHANTED. He sat silently, the rainwater dripping down his face, as he was taking in every small gesture you made, taking in every musical note that came out of your BBL mouth, (even the voice cracks), and just taking, well, you in. At that very moment, he was in love. YOU were the femme fatale he needed in his life, the one that would complete him, make him feel whole, and would give him purpose.
Once you were finished, you snapped back into reality and realized you actually weren't in a music video. You looked to Tommy, whose face barely made any other emote other than the one where he looked like he was annoyed, staring up at you. A wave of anxiety flooded over you - you were the center of his world right now, and that pressure was too hot!
You quickly climbed down, and flashed him a big smile.
"So?" you asked, now LITERALLY feeling more grounded on the ground.
He didn't respond at first. Moments later, he did.
"Do you have something nice to wear?"
"Like what?"
"A dress?"
"Um," you thought, trying to remember the contents of your Hello Kitty-themed suitcase, "maybe. Why?"
He rose up, getting ready to leave from the fear and insecurity of the emotions he just experienced. "I want to take you to the races."
"We're gonna race?"
"Horses. Horse races," he corrected you, making his way to the exit. "Be ready by tomorrow, I'll collect you before noon."
"Oh my god, like a date?" you were too slow to come to the conclusion because by that time he'd already left. The excitement quickly mixed in with the anxiety, which wasn't the best feeling in the world. You knew in anticipation for tomorrow you were gonna need SOMETHING to take the edge off, so before closing up you snatched some bottles of alcohol to take to your flat. You weren't really sure what exactly they were, but what you did know was that it was gonna taste like fucking ass. But when mama needs her go go juice, she TAKES her go go juice.
The following morning you woke up at the crack ass of dawn to get ready - you knew you needed TIME. Not that it takes a while for you to get all pretty, girl you're already naturally stunning! but time and place - you needed to stunt today. Also, you already weren't a morning person so you didn't trust yourself to snooze. Actually, you barely slept at all last night since you were too caught up about what makeup you were gonna do, how you were gonna style your hair, what dress to wear and most of all, your ass was just asked out by Tommy. You wondered if this is how nervy the soldiers felt when they encountered bin Laden's bunker.
You had already finished your makeup and hair, looking pretty snatched. Too bad your phone's been dead for the past couple of weeks and you couldn't take pictures. But anyway you did the usual 1920's makeup tutorial you remember watching on some Buzzfeed video a while ago, pretending you were doing a Vogue makeup tutorial in your mirror and talking step by step your process. You curled your hair into the 1920's bob they were obsessed with back then, packing on an obscene amount of gel just to keep that wave stiff. You struggled but nonetheless you got it girl.
You were now staring at the remaining contents of your Hello Kitty-themed suitcase - let's just say, you had nothing. That's a lie you did have SOMETHING but was it appropriate for the time? No. Like if you're going to the Renaissance Fair, your ass isn't gonna wear some Skims ass dress. But guess what? That's actually all you had.
It was a black, tight, spaghetti-strap slip-on dress that was above the knee - definitely NOT the vibe for the era, maybe a bit too revealing? But what other choice do you have? You're I <3 Surfer Boys tee? Exaaaaactly.
You slipped it on and was taken aback - you know how you forget how good you look when it's been a while since you've dressed up and you actually surprise yourself? Yeah that was you right now. Kim would be proud to see you in that dress, in fact, she'd probably cheer you on to wear it proudly at the races. Even though she wasn't your favorite sister, you imagining her company right now really did help.
You kept feeling yourself in the mirror - girl you looked GOOD. You put on some black heels, some perfume and that was it - you were simply that bitch now.
"Oh my god," you thought to yourself, "Tommy's gonna flip. Shit, I'd get with me."
And just like that, you heard the honks of a car coming from outside your flat. You peered through the window, and there you saw some vintage, rinky dink ass car.
"Oh, fuck!" you shouted, mainly to yourself, but they heard. "Coming!" you called out the window.
It was actually happening - oh fuck he's here oh yes he is. Quickly, you grabbed one of the bottles you confiscated and took the fattest swig. It was the most horrendous, grotesque warm vodka you've ever consumed. But it would have to do.
You quickly made it downstairs, taking a moment before appearing outside to calm yourself down and make it seem as if you effortlessly just went down some stairs without a care or worry in the world. You made sure to grab a fur coat, faux of course, and your keys.
Down by the car was Tommy in the driver's seat, with his two brothers, Arthur and John, seated in the back. They all looked at you in awe - they had never seen so much of a woman's legs in their entire life.
"Bloody foockin' hell, Tommy! What do we have here?!" Arthur exclaimed.
"Jesus, Tommy," said John, "I didn't think it was bloody possible for you!"
Tommy stared at you for a few seconds longer, a bit taken aback himself.
Tommy ignored his brothers and exited his side, helping you into the passenger's. You got a whiff of his cologne that brought out an animalistic, innate horndogness of you that you remembered to keep in check. Now was not the time but it was admittedly hard cause the man just looked so good.
He climbed back into his side, then started driving off, the cobblestone road causing you to feel even more nauseous than you already did. You didn't realize it, but you were mute for the first ten minutes from how disassociated you were. That vodka was hitting deep and swimming in circles in your empty tummy - you hadn't had breakfast, essentially raw dogging and running on nothing, because you knew if you munched on some Panera bread, you would've thrown it up from the nervousness. You were now really accepting the fact that it was a grave mistake.
"Well, what's wrong with her?" Arthur bellowed, "is her bloody tongue cut off?"
Tommy gave you a quick little side eye, then fully turned to you after realizing you were, indeed, gone.
"Are you alright?" he asked, concerned with a TOUCH of attitude. Or maybe they were both the same you couldn't differentiate it when it came to Tommy.
"Uh, yeah," you cleared your throat and sat up straight, "just really taking in the moment, you know? It's my first race."
Tommy turned back to the road.
"You guys look great!" you complimented, wanting to move on.
"Why thank you, Miss Y/N. I shall wear your kind words like a medal from tha war," said Arthur. "You look like one of them silent film stars!"
You blushed. "So, wanna listen to some music?" you suggested, hating sitting in quiet cars.
Tommy scrunched his brows. "What do you mean?"
You looked down to where the touchscreen on the car WOULD be, forgetting this car was quite literally just a box on wheels with an engine attached. AUX and Bluetooth are not in the vocabulary of these people's brains for another couple more decades.
"Like, carpool karaoke," you suggested.
"What?" John asked.
"Bloody hell is that?" Arthur also asked. You also forgot, these English men wouldn't face the atrocity that is James Corden in ALSO a couple more decades.
Tommy scoffed, a small little smile on his face but nonetheless a smile. He gets it. "Singing. She likes to sing."
"Is that right?" smiled Arthur, "wow, you've really done a number on Tommy boy over here! He's now a fan of the musical arts!"
The two brothers began laughing and smacking Tommy on the shoulders and head in a playful, men-in-a-gang, manner. He smirked.
"I'll start, I have the perfect song - this one's called Off To The Races," you turned to Tommy, "also by Lana."
You two smiled at the little inside joke y'all had going on now. You then started singing, really into it like the night before. You were hitting those "scarlet, starlet" notes a little too good. Once you wrapped up, you left the three men in a silence that lasted for a couple minutes. Except Tommy, he was always silent. But his brothers were a little confused, but decided to just roll with it since you made Tommy happy. You thought they were just floored by your abilities.
"Lovely," John finally said, hesitant and low to break the silence.
"You've got yourself a bloody mental one here, Tommy," said Arthur. Tommy smiled, you were indeed a little unwell but it was okay to him. So was he <3
It had been about an hour after your arrival, you had been helping yourself to a shit ton of food by a table, stocking up like a bear ready for hibernation. You were literally the only one there, and you assumed so because the cigarettes and alcohol these Brits were fucking up were acting as appetite suppressants. Your fat ass wasn't complaining.
Besides being the only one actually eating something of nutritional value, you were getting HEAVY looks and side eyes for your outfit. You didn't care, your ass looked good from all the walking around the pub you've been doing. Upon entering, Tommy noticed the looks to. You whispered in his ear, "it's cause none of these interbred Habsburg jaws know what a real woman a real BITCH looks like 💅."
He didn't get exactly what you meant, but got the vibe and he liked it. He, actually, loved that you were the center of attention here, as you SHOULD be. Afterwards, he told you he had some business to attend to and knowing you were hungry, led you to the food table. He said he'd get you after he was done, and man was taking his time. But again you didn't care you were just munching away.
"Try the scone, darling, it's absolutely dashing!" a rich, socialite said to you. Her costume was just as amazing as everyone else.
"You know, I've been avoiding it but, maybe I will. Why not?" you smiled, grabbing one and taking a chomp. It tasted like actual ass but you have a great poker face. You moaned like Mark Weins, even hitting his crazy facial expressions. "It's great!" you mumbled. She smiled and talked on about something you didn't really pay attention to.
Eventually, Tommy came up behind you and grabbed your arm gently. Had this been any other man, you would've pistol whipped them in the face with the rock of a scone in your hand, but it was Tommy so you just got all the butterflies inside. You turned and smiled, chewing your food and swallowing it almost hole to say something and not just stand there.
"Fhey Tomyif," you mumbled through the dry scone.
"Feeling better, eh?" he said in a low tone. He seem a little more cheery, which made you cheery. He was enjoying himself, as he should. And so were you, as you should. Let's just say, the vibes were good.
"Omg, def," you said, finally swallowing the last bit of food, "you know, you should try eating something. I know you don't do it much, but, I feel like it can be a great experience for you."
He looked into your eyes. He loved that you cared. A soft smile came on his lips.
"Not hungry."
You thought for a minute. "But like, I'm pretty sure you haven't eaten since France."
"Maybe later. Do you dance?"
"Do I dance? With a little spicy marg in me, Tommy, it's over." But alas, the bartender would have no clue what a spicy marg was, so you kinda had to retract your statement, "But no yeah I can dance sober too no biggy."
"Good," he said, grabbing your hand gently and leading you to the crowded dance floor. You turned back to wave at the socialite lady, who gave you a little wink. My girl knew you scored.
All you knew was that the Brits LOVED their Charleston dancing, something that you definitely needed Just Dance to teach you. But she wasn't here. You were frightened at the thought, but when Tommy pulled you in, and you two just started going at it, it was as natural as your BBL ass. That one Pride and Prejudice dancing sequence had you mastered in the art.
With his hand at your waist and the other in your hand, and your other hand around his neck feeling his buzzcut, there was no force on this earth that could stop you. You honestly just moved your legs around and were great.
Up close to him, you were again in touch with his cologne. You needed to control yourself, but it didn't help that he was like three inches from your face. In this sea of people, it just felt like you two and no one else.
As you two were fucking up that dance floor to that 1920s jazz music, you looked around at the other faces of people dancing around you. Some you caught staring, others pretended not to. You smiled at the fact your hot ass was intimidating.
"Man, if I were to do the Woah here, they'd all lose their fucking minds," you thought. "What if I like, just started twerking? No, I can't. I can't let them win." You knew those intrusive thoughts cannot get another W against you again. The last time that happened, you were expelled from theater school. You couldn't, you couldn't embarrass Tommy - but the urge was too strong.
Almost as if Tommy read your mind, he pulled you aside the dance floor.
"I want to introduce you to someone," he said. He then took you to a table where a man with the craziest middle part and mustache sat, beside another who looked like an owl with glasses and other carbon copies of English dudes. At the table was a fuck ton of coins and money, along with drinks and clouds of cigarette smoke from ashtrays.
"Y/N, this is Billy Kimber. He owns the tracks here," Tommy said. Oh my god it's him, its Billy fackin Kimba...
You weren't sure why Tommy would introduce you, but you took it as a compliment. Maybe he just wanted to stunt on this guy? Who knows.
The man with the goofy ass fucking name had a wry grin on his face that you did not like at all. The vibe was not good no more around this guy. He stuck out his hand to you, and you obliged very hesitantly. He grabbed your hand and kissed it. With that a wave of disgust flew over you, feeling as though you've been stained. Ew gross.
"Lovely ta meet ya," the man said. He rose, "Mista Shelby, might I ask your lady for a dance?"
"Oh, no thanks! <3" you said, a welcoming smile on your face. Tommy and Billy both looked at you as if you just said the most out of pocket shit. The owl man and English robots also gave you daring looks.
"Wot?" Kimber spat.
You almost laughed.
"Uh, yeah like, I don't wanna dance." you said, mimicking Tana Mongeau's "a bleach and tone".
Billy saw absolute red. He was livid. He turned to Tommy, who, too, was speechless.
"The fuck are you on about?" Billy spat again. You really weren't sure what he didn't understand.
You then realized - there was no getting out of this. You didn't want to cause a scene, cause you kinda already did. So you again invited those intrusive thoughts.
"Fine," you said, clearing your throat and standing straight. "I'll dance."
You then pretended to throw something in the air, looking up in an anticipatory, worried way. They all looked up too, confused.
"Oh my god, do you see it? Mr. Kimber, where is it?!" you said as if a bomb were to fall.
He looked up and then to you, growing increasingly worried. He was too in shock to speak.
"Where is it?! Where is it?! Do you see it?!" you kept looking up at basically nothing, but you knew it was something. You kept them on their toes, scared at this point. Your feet dancing softly, they were ready for impact. It was time to come down. "There! There it is and -"
With that, you pulled it down and committed the hardest, most nastiest Woah you've ever done. The last time it was that riveting was during middle school lunches.
When you brought that down, the pose you ended on had your head down and body limp, as if you were Aang in the Avatar state during the episode where he was fighting Zuko's papa and had to unlock and harness such force.
You left them taken aback, disoriented. They didn't know what to do or how to react. You looked fucking insane.
You took a deep breath and stood back up straight, satisfied. Once you realized that the room had fallen completely silent, even the musicians, you felt you needed to excuse yourself.
"Um, so," you struggled to find the words. You felt the anxiety creeping up again, the lightheadedness arising. And most of all, it was time for you to empty yourself. "I've, uh," you thought harder and harder - "I'VE GOT AN ITCHY BUM!"
You split, running and running as fast as your pumps could take you. You ran and ran, it was always the most liberating activity honestly. All that dancing with Tommy, the nerves piled up along with the hors d'oeuvres - they lead to this very moment.
You searched round and round, desperately for a bathroom. No where in this bitch was there a sign or indication, and time was running slim. This was some real Mission Impossible, Tom Cruise is on a time crunch, shit. You pushed through crowds of drunk, belligerent and yelling people, feeling your body slowly succumb to the intense body heat.
Eventually, you spotted a familiar face. You ran.
"Arthur!" you yelled. He spun and looked back to you.
"Y/N! What is it?" he asked, worried. You looked a bit wild. "Are you alright? Where's Tommy?"
"He's fine, he's," you thought, "somewhere. Look, it doesn't fucking matter."
"The mouth on you -"
"Where the fuck is the bathroom in this bitch? Huh? The loo? The toilet? The washroom whatever the fuck y'all call it?"
"Well, I was on me way. It's just over there -" he pointed and you bolted.
As you were entering, you literally ran full force into the socialite from earlier. She wasn't angry, just like Arthur, worried.
"You look absolutely GHASTLY darling!"
"Girl move -"
You went into one of the stalls and laid your worst. Thankfully since it was a Skims dress, all you had to do was pull your Victoria Secret thong off and go. You felt bad for the ladies in their dresses and stockings and shit here - convenience was definitely not a factor yet.
After you cleared your business, (and subsequently the whole bathroom), you stepped out of your stall, refreshed and effortless. You washed your hands, fixed your hair and makeup just a bit in the mirror, and felt yourself again. You took mental selfies, since it was all you had.
As you left the bathroom, you heard the grunts and yells of men. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence, but it sounded like some shit was fr going down. You crept to the source of the noise, coming from the men's bathroom. At first, you thought someone was probably constipated, but instead it was Arthur, John and a few others absolutely rocking this guy's shit. They were beating him, cutting him with the razors sewn into their goofy caps, and curb stomping his head into the sink. So sink stomping?
You made a gross face and walked back out. "Yeesh."
After all, it wasn't the first time you were so close to the mob.
You remember your number one golden rule you learned from earlier during your time with Pablo: Hear nothing, see nothing!
After walking past the dance floor again, you were relieved to see that everyone and everything had gone back to normal - people were back to dancing, drinking and chatting - back to the script. You actually forgot this was supposed to be a horse race.
But, there was no Tommy anywhere. You searched and searched, yet you couldn't find that 75% shaved head anywhere.
You then walked back outside by the entrance, where you saw a woman smoking. You went up to her.
"May I bum a smoke?" you asked in your best English accent, trying to speak their language. She turned to you and pulled one out, lighting it for you. "Thank you so much, you look lovely, darling."
The woman smiled. You loved hyping the girls up!
"You too. I must admit, I find your choice in wardrobe absolutely admirable and daring!"
You smiled, "Aww, really?" you quickly corrected your accent, "Oh dear, many thanks, many thanks yes."
You took a hit of that cigarette. Shit was gross. But when in Rome...
You and the woman spoke for some time, deep in conversation. It was refreshing to meet another girl here, safe to just talk shit and have a break from all the drunken men and oh no there's Tommy.
You saw him approaching you and he looked again, upset and emo. It didn't exactly burst your bubble, you really liked Tommy, but were afraid that you possibly embarrassed him in front of the Bilbo Timberland from earlier.
You bided the woman goodbye and walked towards Tommy. He then took you two back to his car and started off onto the road. By now, it was nearing evening. The car ride was pretty silent, you were looking out admiring the brief countryside. Shit was beautiful like a Microsoft Home Screen.
"So, what's wrong?" you asked. "You're like, down in the dumps again. And where are your brothers?"
"They'll find their own way home," Tommy said, low and serious, the usual.
"So is that it? Y'all got into a fight or something?"
He let out a deep breath. "I told Billy Kimber he could have a dance with you."
"Ew, why?"
"Well," he didn't want to say 'business', cause like okayyyyy shout out to 1920's gender roles!, "because you look...nice. You look pretty."
You blushed hard, trying to control your smile. Seeing this side of Tommy was like a sneak peak, it was so exclusive!
"Oh my god, Tommy, are you flirting with me? I didn't even know you had that setting available!"
He smirked, his frown OFFICIALLY being turned upside down. He chucked in disbelief of himself. He was falling.
Once you made it back to the neighborhood, the sun had gone down and the streets were once again pretty dark. Smoky depressing England like what the Smiths wrote about you get the vibe.
Anyway he took you to his flat, saying that he wanted to "show you something". You weren't sure what that something was, it could've honestly been like a dead body but actually it wasn't! It was dinner <3
"I've uh," he started, not crazy about the fact that he was falling for you, "I've prepared dinner."
You gasped and made a very soy ass face. How absolutely gentlemanly of him!
"Oh my god, no you didn't Tommy!" you said, "You're so sweet, that's like, so sweet! You shouldn't have!"
He smiled softly, in a "yeah I did that" sort of way. And he did just that. You were 90% sure whatever was inside he didn't cook, but it's the THOUGHT that counts!
He escorted you inside like the gentlemen he was, shutting the front door behind you two. The lights inside the flat were dim, and by the table were two plates. Upon closer inspection, you were absolutely FLOORED!!!!
"No way - tikka fucking masala?!" you exclaimed. He chuckled and it was hot.
You walked closer and saw two very familiar, VERY FAMILIAR, colorful orbs. You turned them to the side. All this time since you'd last seen one, you forgot what they were or looked like.
"AND FUCKING BUZZBALLS?!?!?!" you said. "Tommy, how the fuck did you even get these?"
He pulled the chair out for you, and you scooted your big fat butt in.
"I know people. It's my job."
You couldn't help but smirk.
"It's so hot when a man has connections," your dirty Jezebel mind thought.
He cracked the BuzzBalls opened and poured them for each of you, like it was some high end expensive ass champagne. You watched him, relishing in the moment - you had your GRIP on this man. Chivalry was in fact, despite popular belief, not dead. But it was also the 1920s so you forgot about that bit.
You looked down at your plate - you were going to fuck. this. up. He'd never seen this side of you - the side that would tear your meal like a fucking ape cracking open a coconut with a rock for water. You thought if you should warn him, but told yourself - he needs to know ME for ME.
You gripped that naan, grabbed a fat ass chunk of that chicken - and the moment it hit your lips, you had started giggling like Mark Weins again but subtract the poker face. You had forgotten the long lost love of spice other than pepper and salt. You could've cried if it hadn't been for the fact your makeup looked too good.
You two dined and wined (there's no wine) for the next hour, talking and talking and chewing and chewing. Seeing him eat was hard for your mind to process, you just never thought he was capable of it. Anyway as he was talking you felt bad because you were zoning out looking at him as if he was another dish of tikka masala. He had such a sigma vibe to him, maybe alpha? (I don't know I'm not familiar with gym bro brain rot TikTok lingo but you get the vibe.) He was just so manly and yet so gentle and calculating, it kinda scared you because like he could literally have everything set up to kill you right now and you wouldn't know cause you were too charmed. But then you realized, he wouldn't have done all this shit for someone he wanted dead. No girl, he just wanted YOU! Your toes tickled at the thought, and those butterflies? They were fluttering.
For the first time, you had anxiety but hadn't felt the need to shit yet. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol calming your nerves, or the chill vintage ambience going on, or Tommy's comfortable/intimidating presence. In other words, this felt natural and you were fucking with it.
There were several times you needed to burp, but forgetting you weren't with your girls, you had to swallow that shit deep. After all, girls don't burp. You tried to keep your femme fatale composure.
You were the light he needed in his very dark emo life. It had been a very long time since he had a genuine laugh, despite the fact he might have had no idea what the fuck you were talking about or saying half the time, but seeing you all bubbly and happy made him feel content. He was finally being vulnerable, letting go a little and just, well, living life. Being free. #livelaughlove
"What will you do? When you've saved enough for Scotland?" he asked.
The idea brought you down a bit. You forgot about that shit. "Oh, well, I don't know. I kinda like the barmaid stuff, so maybe I'll try to find something similar there?"
You were eating his leftovers. He didn't eat much but liked watching you eat like it was a mukbang. He loved a girl who eats.
"Why don't you stay?" he asked, avoiding eye contact with you as he poured himself another BuzzBall. You could tell he wasn't a fan but drank it anyway for you because you liked it.
You again couldn't help but smirk. You loved seeing a guy CRACK!!!
"Do you want me to?" you asked, biting your tongue like the white mom. You hadn't done that in a while either, this English life didn't permit it.
He took a sip from his drink. "Perhaps you'd be interested in working for me."
"Aren't I already, low-key though?"
"Garrison's not mine," he said. "Do you know anything about bookkeeping?"
He lit a cigarette and offered you one. You took it, not wanting to offend.
"Well, I gotta tell you," you said, "math is NOT my forte. But oh my god yes babe thanks!"
You ran over and jumped to hug him, he hugged tightly back, he then threw you on the hard table, pushing everything to the floor and you felt his member pressed against your leg. He began kissing you, his tongue licking your lips for entrance. You let him in. Your tongues fought for dominance but you let him win. He eventually started going down on you, taking your Skims dress clean off, and started kissing your labia.
"This...this is a bloody fucking labia," he says.
You lifted your legs as he began to eat you out, his wet breath on your cooter. He held your foot up and raised himself, ready to press his member into your entrance. Your eyes were closed, ready to take the boy from Birmingham in. This is it. No missed flights, no drunk men to call you Jezebels, no lung cancer from cigarettes and factory smoke, no IRS or IRA, nothing - just you and Tommy.
You and Tommy laid on his bed, in each other's arms. Since his bed was high-key smaller than a twin, it was pretty cramped, but neither of you minded. You two were smoking (him a cigarette and you your Elf bar), reminding you of that one band Cigarettes after Sex and how Tommy would've liked them, but they wouldn't drop music for another couple years in this time zone.
You two talked softly as the rain patterned on the window's glass, some of the street lights peering through the curtain. If there was some incense on, it'd be a vibe. You originally thought his opium pipe was an incense holder but you were very mistaken.
" - so yeah, that's why people picked team Jolie. But in all honesty, I feel bad for Jennifer, you know? Like, he literally cheated on her. Over what? A fucky boof ass movie? It was ass," you hit your Elf bar, refusing to accept it was dead. "I guess it doesn't matter now, cause NONE of them are together anymore. So what do you think? Aniston or Jolie?"
He took a drag of cigarette as he stared at the ceiling. He made an unsure face.
"I'm not familiar with them."
"True. Fine, let me think of something you'd know. Like something English drama," you thought. "Okay, team Blur or team Oasis? I hear there was a lot of blood shed during the battle of Britpop."
He again took another drag of his cigarette. Anyone would be looking at this and thinking he found you hella annoying, but he didn't. He just genuinely thought you had a great imagination.
"Neither, I guess. I don't have time to listen to music."
He was right, which was why he loved when you sang at the pub and most of all, to him during your private Lana concerts.
As time went on, you were in DEEP. Scotland? Yeah never heard of her. Not only were you working for Tommy doing whatever bookkeeping is, but he had even introduced you to his family, which you KNOW damn well is a sign that shit is serious.
You loved the Shelby's, even though they were a bit off their shit sometimes. But it wasn't anything new, you'd been well familiar with crazy families before. You loved talking shit with Polly, going to the 'cinema' with Ada, fucking with Arthur until he got mad, supplying John with his toothpicks and making little Finn believe in the fake number 'derf'. You got along with them well, they saw you as a perfect fit for the family - something different, vibrant and bright! You loved them and they loved you! Polly would even tell you in confidence that you made Tommy a happier person, something he lost after the war. Getting Polly's stamp of approval was literally it, that's all you needed.
And you and Tommy? Yeah y'all were a thing. An item. During work hours he'd give you little looks here and there, and so did you, as if it was some secret office romance. But it wasn't secret literally everyone knew you were his girl. And that's power.
You learned the ropes pretty fast, again it wasn't your first rodeo in the mob. It was like Colombia all over again, but we don't talk about that. Tommy fucked with you having a secretive criminal past, he thought it was pretty hot.
Besides bookkeeping, you still worked in the bar. All the patrons loved when you sang Lana, it just went on to prove that she's indeed a poet. They eventually memorized them and sang along, which annoyed you sometimes cause you just wanted to hear yourself and they sounded like ass when they were drunk. But you just go along with it!
Some of the songs you in the pub (and Tommy's room) sang included:
Bartender (cause hello? You're LITERALLY at a bar)
Shades of Cool (for Tommy's big blue ass eyes (you wished they could hear that guitar solo cause the acapella didn't do it justice :( ))
Cola (singing this for the fist time made you realize you had to censor a couple things, they weren't a fan of that intro)
Stargirl's Interlude (Lana's part obvi, but it's again for Tommy cause he's your starboy <3 he loved when you hit those high notes)
Brooklyn Baby (you avoided it cause it reminded you of your ex)
Video Games (hello it's for Tommy)
Love Song (this makes them all cry)
Money Power Glory (again hello it's Tommy, but this wouldn't hit until he's a member in Parliament)
National Anthem (being in England for so long made you forget the United States anthem)
Fucked My Way Up To The Top (literally you rn)
Speaking OF a bunch of drunk men, the gang loved you. You thought you were like the comedic relief of the little theater thing they had going on here. You had to admit, you admired the method acting everyone had done so far. It only, to you, proved that it worked, since you were GENUINELY left in deep in a psychosis where you're just a 1920's flapper girl.
There was some rules and etiquettes you needed to remember, however. One, was of course, the "BILLY FACKIN KIMBA", and another was you finding out Tommy did NOT fuck with brujeria or anything dark magic related. You thought it was kinda funny, he reminded you of those Reddit r/atheist accounts but at the same time, he was low-key scared of zodiacs. Not that he didn't like it, he was paranoid at them. You literally asked his zodiac sign and he responded very sternly and seriously,
"Y/N, don't."
You then said. "That's a very Capricorn thing to say."
Besides that, everything was great and chill.
It wasn't long before this annoying ass Irish inspector dude pulled up to the pub. Once he saw you, he locked eyes with you and approached the bar. You didn't like his vibe in the slightest. In fact, no one in the pub liked his vibe either. They all fell silent when he entered.
"Excuse, me, ma'am," he said. You turned, not really wanting to talk.
"Yeah, what?"
"Do you know about a Thomas Shelby?"
"Yeah, what about him?" you didn't fuck with anyone who referred to Tommy as Thomas. Like?
"Do you know where I can find him?"
You were really starting to not fuck with his vibe even more. Something was def fishy.
"You should really go back to being with the dinosaurs," you said. He didn't like that.
He leaned in. "Do you know who I am? Who do ya think you arrrrrre?" the R's went very crazy.
And just in time, as if he was your guardian angel, Tommy opened the doors to the little room beside the bar. Babes was hearing everything and he was NOT gonna let this dude talk shit to his girl like that.
"You need to speak to me? Inspector Campbell, is it?" he said. "I've read about you in the papers."
Tommy then took Campbell soup outside to speak. Before leaving, he (Tommy) gave you a wink and you winked back. You knew that was code for 'let's hit my flat later'. Little did you know, this would be the last time.....
P.S. - when you asked one of the men at the pub who he was and someone replied IRA, you originally interpreted that as the Irish IRS and shat yourself. You didn't know how to tell Tommy your time was ticking, they'd located you - but you were not going down without a fight.
You were both in his bedroom as usual, he was lying in bed smoking, you were hitting the Elf bar, rain pattering, English people yelling outside yeah you get the vibe. Anyway, he asked you to sing - a request you took quite seriously. You knew this was his only time of relaxation and you had to make the best of it before you break the news you needed to escape again.
You rose, sitting up and looking down at his BBL face.
"Lana or Nicki?"
"Lana."
"Can I do Nicki? You never ask for her."
He took a drag and nodded. "Go ahead."
This, now this would be where you fucked up. Let's just say, you wish you could wipe out this night from your memory. Alas, all things need to come to an end, even the good ones, unfortunately. You'd never thought it would be like this though tbh.
You stood up on the bed, as usual, cleared your throat all that bullshit. You thought and thought, "what's a good Nicki song? What's fitting?"
And then it hit you - it was definitely a deep cut.
He had a soft smile on his lips, watching you as you were thinking. Little did he know, you were going to harness a part of yourself you hadn't seen in a while. This was a mode you unlocked that was such a release after, and you knew you had to go all or nothing.
You cleared your throat.
"Okay, so this one's kinda not AS well known, but it has British themes I think work well," you prefaced. "Okay, here I go."
The moment you opened your mouth, you let the spirit of Nicki come in. And once she's in, there's no going back. And Tommy was not prepared for that. You then started Nicki's verse in Sean Kingston's "Born To Be Wild".
"♪ If you will die, then why would you try and if you reply, a suit and a tie is what I will buy then you will be mine because you and I were born to be wild, I am Martha you King Arthur who knew you would land me, I’ve been known to eat these rappers, cook em like chef Ramsey - ♪"
You were too deep to notice Tommy's rapid increasing worry and fear as you spat out those lyrics. It was too overstimulating for him to handle. You ate, but that was just want concerned him - he didn't know you were rapping. In fact, no one at this current time did.
" ♪ - Mission accomplished, your my accomplice cover of vogue yeah ima go topless ima go bonkers ima go crazy ima get reckless then have a baby then hang the baby off the balcony teach him to moon walk tell em he's Japanese - ♪ "
No, he thought you were putting a curse on him. No, he was CONVINCED.
"Stop! STOP!" Tommy rose from his bed, pushing the sheets off of him.
You were shaken out of your trance, confused. You became worried, what happened? Did you miss something? Were y'all in danger?
"Wait, Tommy -"
"Enough! Stop!" you had never seen panic in that man's eyes. Never. And you didn't like it. He was looking straight at you, talking to YOU.
"Stop what -"
"You're a bloody fucking witch!" he yelled, rubbing his hand through his hair while the other TIGHT on his hip. This was his evaluating stance. "That's what this is - that's what it's been."
"Uh, Tommy," you said, more annoyed that he interrupted your moment, "I'm no witch. I'm just, well, Y/N."
He took a deep breath, now facing away from you. He couldn't believe it. All this time, all that mumbo jumbo that came out of your mouth, all this time - they were just that. Curses. No wonder he didn't understand them, you were literally speaking in tongues this whole time.
You walked towards him, slowly. This man needed that opium right now.
"Tommy -"
"Leave. LEAVE!" he yelled, grabbing your messy bun, and doing what you didn't think would happen again for a very long time - he beybladed you.
Spin. Spin. Spin.
"LET IT BLOODY RIP!"
And there it was.
And there you went.
He twisted you in the air round and round, ready for a different kind of liftoff. He flung you out the window, you crashed through and onto the cobblestone streets of Birmingham.
That was it. All these months, all this rehearsing - it all came to an end. On a random Tuesday evening? The Tommy you once thought you knew was no more - after all this time, he never trusted you? Didn't he know who you were? Like dude he watched you be vulnerable at fuck up a tikka masala. TWO of them at that.
Anyway, you realized maybe the entirety of UK just wasn't your vibe, anyway. With this 'IRA' now in town, your ass needed to be grass. Before leaving, you broke into his horse racing betting place whatever it's called and committed a little fun heist, taking all the money. What? A girl needed to sustain herself in this economy. Dog eat dog world shit. And plus, all your stuff was back at his apartment and you were DEF not gonna go back. Who knows? Was HE working for the Men In Black? Wining and dining you to gain his trust and he turned you in? Maybe he did you a favor in the end.
And maybe you could upgrade to the latest iPhone when you got to London with all this horse money? With a shilling and a pound, the possibilities seemed endless.
You walked down the streets, sad, but again more confused and a little relieved, onto your next destination, wherever that maybe. Anywhere Y/N went, it was all just a big adventure of a girl having fun being, well, just a girl having fun in this world. And THAT'S all that matters.
Hope you enjoyed!
xoxo,
~Sam St. Clair
#tommy shelby#peaky blinders#thomas shelby#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby x y/n#cillian murphy#cillian x reader#cillian x fem!reader#fanfiction#imagine#smut#x reader#oppenheimer#oppenheimer x reader
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Request Information
We write x reader and x OC stories/oneshots, so don't be afraid to give your character a name, unless you prefer it being the reader!
We typically write the reader as a female, but if you prefer gender neutral, let us know!
We generally write for male people/characters as well.
We write:
Fluff
Angst
Hurt/Comfort
Comfort
We do not write smut!
Feel free to send any request for one-shots/imagines, or if you have an idea for a mini-series, don't be afraid to suggest that as well.
If you request, there is no 100% guarantee that it'll be written, but we will definitely try our best to fulfill everyone's requests!
When something is requested, we will try to get to it as quickly as possible, but we are both full time students and play sports, so please bear with us!
We write for a lot of things, but here is the list if you want to go through it all! If you don't see a specific person/show or anything on the list, still feel free to request it. We might have accidentally left it out, but if not, we can still attempt to write that person for you!
You can submit requests by clicking the link at the bottom of this post or the link at the top of the blog, both will take you to a form to submit your request!
FULL LIST OF WHAT WE WRITE FOR:
Shows/movies:
13 Reasons Why
Clay Jensen
Justin Foley
911 (Lonestar and the original)
Eddie Diaz
Evan Buckley
Judd Ryder
Owen Strand
Paul Strickland
TK Strand
Wyatt Harris
American Horror Story
Jimmy Darling
Kit Walker
Kyle Spencer
Michael Langdon
Tate Langdon
Xavier Plympton
Attack On Titan
Armin Arlert
Jean Kirstein
Big Time Rush
Carlos
James
Kendall
Logan
Breaking Bad
Jesse Pinkman
Cobra Kai
Eli Moskowitz (Hawk)
Johnny Lawrence
Miguel Diaz
Robby Keene
Criminal Minds
Aaron Hotchner
Derek Morgan
Spencer Reid
Game of Thrones
Bronn
Jaime Lannister
Jon Snow
Robb Stark
Goosebumps
James Etten
Lucas Parker
Gossip Girl
Chuck Bass
Eric Van Der Woodsen
Nate Archibald
Grey’s Anatomy
George O’Malley
Mark Sloan
IT
Bill Denbrough
Eddie Kaspbrak
Richie Tozier
Jujustu Kaisen
Megumi Fushiguro
Satoru Gojo
Toge Inumaki
Yuji Itadori
Lab Rats
Chase Davenport
Marvel
Bucky Barnes
Deadpool
Druig
Loki Laufeyson
Peter Parker (Tom’s or Andrew’s)
Steve Rogers
Thor
Wolverine
My Babysitter’s a Vampire
Benny Weir
Ethan Morgan
My Hero Academia
Denki Kaminari
Eijiro Kirishima
Hitoshi Shinsou
Izuku Midoriya
Katsuki Bakugo
Keigo Takami
Shota Aizawa
Shoto Todoroki
Takami Amajiki
NCIS (LA and the original)
Anthony DiNozzo
Eric Beale
G. Callen
Jimmy Palmer
Marty Deeks
Timothy McGee
Nerve
Tommy Mancuso
New Girl
Coach
Nick Miller
Schmidt
Winston Bishop
Now You See Me
Jack Wilder
Outerbanks
JJ Maybank
John B.
Pope
Rafe Cameron
Topper
Percy Jackson
Percy
Pretty Little Liars
Caleb Rivers
Holden Strauss
Jason DiLaurentis
Mike Montgomery
Noel Kahn
Toby Cavanaugh
Shadowhunters
Alec Lightwood
Jace Herondale
Simon Lewis
Shameless
Ian Gallagher
Kevin Ball
Lip Gallagher
Smallville
Clark Kent
Lex Luthor
Stranger Things
Dustin Henderson
Steve Harrington
Supernatural
Castiel
Dean Winchester
Jack Kline
Sam Winchester
T@GGED
Ash Franklin
Brandon Darrow
Trevor Askill
Teen Wolf
Derek Hale
Isaac Lahey
Scott McCall
Stiles Stilinski
Titans
Dick Grayson (Nightwing)
Gar Logan (Beast Boy)
Jason Todd (Red Hood)
The 100
Bellamy Blake
Jasper Jordan
Monty Green
The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
Ambrose Spellman
Harvey Kinkle
Nicholas Scratch
The Hunger Games
Finnick Odair
Peeta Mellark
The Maze Runner
Minho
Newt
Thomas
The Middle
Axl Heck
Sean Donahue
The OC
Luke Ward
Ryan Atwood
Seth Cohen
The Originals
Elijah Mikaelson
Klaus Mikaelson
Kol Mikaelson
The Outsiders
Darry Curtis
Dallas Winston
Sodapop Curtis
The Rookie
John Nolan
Tim Bradford
The Umbrella Academy
Five Hargreeves
The Vampire Diaries
Damon Salvatore
Jeremy Gilbert
Kai Parker
Stefan Salvatore
The Walking Dead
Carl Grimes
Daryl Dixon
Glenn Rhee
Negan Smith
Rick Grimes
True Blood
Eric Northman
Jason Stackhouse
Sam Merlotte
Twilight
Emmett Cullen
Jasper Hale
Paul Lahote
Seth Clearwater
Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin Russo
Real people:
5 Seconds of Summer members (all)
Ateez members (all)
Cody Fern
Jamie Muscato
Sam and Colby
Stray Kids members (all)
The Boyz (all)
Tomorrow x Together members (all)
Request form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdf15DK07JIGzKMNPC2FrEgP7ces4KfIxTngYcNwvmusaXxGA/viewform?usp=sf_link
#requests open#bang chan#felix#hyunjin#txt#jeongin#seungmin#han jisung#han#changbin#lee know#eddie diaz#evan buckley#american horror story#911 lone star#13 reasons why#stray kids#the boyz#ateez#supernatural#goosebumps
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Yeah I really believe the Abby theory bc A.) It’s dumb enough this show would do it B.) It 100% would cause Buck to spiral and C.) It’s not enough to break them up and if we are getting Gay Eddie I can’t imagine they’d break up BT yet, they’ll want to milk the jealousy and pining and love triangle for ages
it’s so dumb!!!!!! and his head would explode 😭 and i don’t know how my heart feels about dragging out a love triangle (well. i know my heart feels bad about it, because literally please get eddie out of his torture nexus and/or please give buck a boyfriend who doesn’t talk to him like he’s a rambunctious four year old who just spilled his hi-c juice box all over his fisher price lego set) but i do agree that it would be a tv of all time decision to make tommy and buck and connie britton as abby clark on 911 on fox on abc all have the same tragic backstory
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headcanon about jellylorum and a couple of humans
Jellylorum and her relationship with her human, Anne
Jellylorum wouldn’t be alive today if Anne didn’t save her. Jellylorum was sick one day, and walked across the street. However, she grew too weak and fell just as the light had change. Anne without hesitation, ran into the middle of the street and picked the sick cat up into her arms. Jellylorum faintly recalls a human man cursing at the human woman.
Jellylorum was in and out of consciousness when sick. She recalls the human tending to her fever with a wet cool washcloth, and the human sleeping in the nearby chair.
After recovering, Jellylorum made visits to Anne’s place, sometimes staying for hours before leaving. Anne slowly over time brought cat supplies and proper cat food, before finally buying a woven collar. Jellylorum loves her collar; it’s very comfortable to wear.
Jellylorum thinks the name Anne given her is cute. It’s not a true sensible name, but considering her Particular Name, it works.
From Anne's Perspective
Anne would very much like Apricot to be an indoor cat, but knows that’s impossible due to Apricot’s supernatural nature. Anne just makes sure Apricot never loses her collar, keeps her vaccinated, and has plenty of photos ready to make missing posters.
Anne figures out that the tom cat that visits Apricot is her brother; Anne nicknamed him Artichoke (Artie for short). Anne as such whenever at home sets an extra bowl of food and water for him, and leaves him be with Apricot, rarely interacting with him.
(Bonus Headcanon: Jellylorum thinks it's sweet of Anne to prepare for an unexpected guest. Jellylorum also teases her brother for another vegetable human given name, thinking it’s his destiny.)
Jellylorum and her relationship with her human's brother Thomas, who is The Man Over There
Because Jellylorum thinks Anne as a part of her family, Jellylorum thinks Thomas as family too. As such, Jellylorum calls Thomas ‘Tommy’.
Jellylorum thinks Tommy as a quiet human; very much similar to her brother in that regard. Jellylorum seen plenty of times how Anne is talkative of the two siblings, best shown when they have the occasional dinner together. Anne will be chatting about her day, while Tommy listens; he speaks very little about his day.
Jellylorum heard Tommy sing before, and thinks he has a lovely voice. Jellylorum first heard Tommy sing when Anne was on holiday and tasked Tommy to check up on Jellylorum. Tommy was playing with Jellylorum when he began singing a rather unknown Petula Clark song, “I Would Have Given You More” which she likes a lot. Since then, Jellylorum occasionally hears Tommy sing; Jellylorum won’t deny she imagine the impossible of Tommy singing her parents’ song, In Una Tepida Notte.
Jellylorum has no idea Tommy knows her dad. She heard from her Dad about a human name Thomas who he sees, and well, Thomas is a common name, after all. Needless to say, the Jellicle Ball certainly revealed this fact to her (in a good way).
Post-Canon, on the nights they can talk and understand one another, Jellylorum allows Tommy call her by her Particular Name whenever Anne isn’t around. Sometimes the two will sing a duet together, which she enjoys very much.
#cats#cats musical#cats the musical#jellylorum#cats musical oc#the man over there#headcanons#fun fact that song i mention by petula clark was written by alw#and that song's melody was supposedly rework to be the melody of gus the theatre cat#i say supposedly rework because last i check cats wiki gave no source. but given alw does reuses tunes i am incline to believe it#anyway. it's a nice song. rather sad but it's a nice song
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Random Inside No. 9 Thoughts
You know the drill, it's been a while so let's go!
The Devil of Christmas and Private View are so underrated and the best episodes of season 3
Viktor from Once Removed gives off homophobic gay vibes, like he claims to find gay people "weird" but only because he's heavily closeted
I also have this weird concept of Viktor and Lisgoe (TLOG) being cousins? I have no idea why that is, but the concept is there
How do people remember the names of every character Reece and Steve have played!? I can remember some (Len, Tommy, Hector, Varney, Tommo, Viktor, Carl, Stu, Chas, Joe, Warren, Clarke, Jim, Barnabus, Simon and I'm pretty sure one of them played someone called Greg) but for the rest I'm like "yeah, [x]'s character in [y]". How do y'all do it?
They should make an Inside No. 9 CD with a full version of Blue Jeans Baby, an extended version of Tears Of Laughter and a full version of Steve singing Shine by Take That. It could even include some of the covers from Empty Orchestra
For me, season 6 is the weakest but it's still good
And The Winner Is... and The Bill would make great 1-act plays
I am once against hoping Daniel Rigby's in season 9
You could point to any of Reece's characters and say "that's a homosexual" and I wouldn't be able to 100% disagree
The female actors working on Inside No. 9 are so underrated in the fandom, we've had the likes of Zoe Wanamaker, Maxine Peake and Nicola Walker just to name a few - I wish fans appreciated them more!
If this 9th season doesn't live up to my expectations I'm gonna feel so betrayed I can't lie. I'm sure it'll be amazing but... those guys better deliver
Sometimes I lowkey marvel at just how much Reece and Steve's work has influenced my screenwriting, like what would these things be had I never discovered Inside No. 9 and TLOG?
I wonder what Reece and Steve will do after season 9, will they collaborate on something again? Maybe not a TV series, but a film would be cool - not that I'm opposed to another TV series. I'm just hoping this isn't the last time they act/write together
Imagine if Charlie Brooker (writer for Black Mirror) collabed with Reece and Steve, that would be such a cool episode! Plus, a lot of actors that were in Black Mirror have been in Inside No. 9
#reece shearsmith#steve pemberton#inside no 9#britcom#british comedy#joseph lisgoe#inside number 9#in9
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Bear with me, but imagine: Stranger Things M*A*S*H AU
At first, Steve is obviously Hawkeye-coded but then the phrase “Hot Lips Harrington” entered my brain and hasn’t left it. Maybe this is Omega Steve, but maybe just some good old Male Nurse Steve kicking ass. Either way, he was forced into the army by his parents to follow uh their footsteps and he’s a little stuck up about protocol as it comes to safety and stuff but he mostly just likes healing people.
Hopper is Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, at first, and then he adopts an orphaned Eleven who’d been held by the enemy and matures into a more Colonel Potter-type leader.
Father Clarke.
Corporal “Radar” Henderson who not only man’s the radio but basically built the whole thing from scratch and keeps the whole camp running.
Joyce is a nurse who runs an orphanage, that’s where Hopper meets El.
Frank is either Billy or Tommy.
Nancy is Winchester.
Robin is also one of the doctors and Steve’s best friend.
Steve had a long-term fling with either Nancy (that ended amicably), Billy (which did NOT), or Tommy (yeah NO)
And then when either Billy or Tommy or both is replaced with Eddie….
Romance in the Ranks?????
#this is probably incomprehensible#but the idea will not leave me#steddie#stranger things#mash 4077#mash
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