#this is so dumb

[kittenscookie]

*Kicks Down Door*

SELKIE PERCY

Annabeth goes to get Percy one morning and opens the cabin door to find a seal pup on his bed—the seal pup being Percy. They call Poseidon because obviously this has to be a him problem, but he just stares at him absolutely taken aback.

🦭Percy🦭: Arf arf!

Poseidon:

Annabeth: Well!?

Poseidon: ...Get Sally on the phone...

Annabeth: What—?

Poseidon: Get her on the phone—damn it—on an Iris message! ANYTHING! WE NEED HER ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!

They get Sally, she takes one look at him and is just like "Oh shit I thought we had at least 3 more years!"

Poseidon: You're a selkie!?

Sally: ...You didn't know!?

Poseidon: You never told me!?

Sally: Well being the god of the sea I assumed you'd figured it out—!

🦭Percy🦭: *Frantic baby seal barks*

Sally: I was gonna tell you when you turned eighteen—I couldn't shift until I turned nineteen so I thought it'd be the same for you!

🦭Percy🦭: *Even more frantic baby seal barks*

Sally: I know honey, just think human thoughts—if you picture yourself as a human you'll shift back it's as simple as that.

[ifr1t]

GO, KURT, GO!!!

original tt under the cut

[knifecat111]

[foolsocracy]

lyla kill these idiots

[skewiie]

[highcorellianwhiskeyart]

I can't get this image out of my head after reading Book of Bill.

[forumtrashbin]

its them

[ricky-mortis]

Ted’s TED talk

[mxmarsbars]

pride month is temporary clock duo is forever

here’s the goofy ref ^_^

[quazumi]

Victor is very supportive and loves his wife 🫶

[mischieviem]

[moonlightflower-queen]

The rulers of the underworld have an important message about mental health

[bluejey]

nice

[cheercake]

I watched murder drones

[kittenscookie]

Dear god Epic is slowly pulling me back into Percy Jackson so it's time for a mini crossover idea. (If I get some details wrong please forgive me, it's been a hot minute and I've got the memory of a walnut). Okay, let's say they've gotta get Odysseus's Bow for whatever reason. As the group's contemplating how they're gonna find this thing the gods all just slowly turn to Poseidon.

Poseidon: ...

Athena: You gonna give them her address or should I?

Poseidon: *Groans as he pulls out a pen and post-it note* Okay boys, you're gonna go to this address in Ithaca, knock on the door, ask for [Insert Name Here]. If she's not there go to this address in New Jersey.

Tyson: Who is she?

Poseidon: Your older sister

Percy: We have a sister? Why didn't you ever tell us about her?

Poseidon: ...

Athena: 🤨

Poseidon: .....Go visit your sister

So they do their adventure, escape a couple rough situations, slay a couple monsters. They eventually get to the address, knock on the door, and a young(in terms of appearance) woman with the bluest eyes known to man opens it. She's all smiles, offers them some snacks while she gets the bow.

Nico: Okay, just wondering, why do you have this thing?

Sister: ???

Sister: It's my dad's...Why wouldn't I have it???

Tyson: Huh?

Sister: Odysseus is my other dad

Silence for about a good fifteen seconds before a sly smirk spreads across her face.

Sister: You want the tea?

Percy: Hell yeah!

She pulls out her phone, sends someone a text and not even five minutes later Athena is bursting through the door.

Annabeth: Mom?

Athena: Hi honey. *Points to [Insert Name Here]* You, put the kettle on. *Points to the group* The rest of you, sit down and listen up because I'm still pissed about this shit.

Over the course of the next hour and a half she tells them the juiciest tea they've ever heard. By the end of it they're not surprised that shit never got written down because why would Poseidon and Zeus ever allow future generations know they were fighting that hard—caused a whole second war—for a damn mortal.