#today was the day to commit myself to actually map out how the stars go on the face and solid hands lmaoooo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rex101111 · 5 years

Text

She Deserves The Stars

Re:mind…well, reminded me why Sokai was such an obsession for me back in high school so naturally I had to buckle down and write a 10k+ fic about them being cute and loving each other because what else does Nomura expect me to do with myself now until he finally nuts up and releases a Kairi-centric game?

Rating: T

Enjoy!

Riku was good at focusing on little details. How sand would gather around the edge of a wave once it crested over a beach, how a leaf rocks from side to side as it floats down to the ground, small things, insignificant things. He’s gotten good at noticing those things and honing his focus on them so he could avoid thinking of things that he did not want on his mind.

When he was younger it was to divert his head from petty, cruel thoughts about his two best friends. Focus on the sand to avoid thinking about how Kairi keeps stealing looks at Sora behind his back, keep your eyes on the leaf to not think too hard about how soft Sora’s voice gets when the subject of Kairi comes up.

Focus on the water, the raft, the far away freedom, the adventure, focus on that and not on how two people you’ve known for over a decade were leaving you behind.

(A voice from the back of his head stabs him with these thoughts, you were such a shit remember? Such an awful friend, and he takes a breath. Sometimes the voice is nasally, young and arrogant and so sure of his destiny, and sometimes the voice is deeper than a fall in a canyon, full of silk smooth venom and sharp like a dagger, but he’s gotten used to remaindering himself that the voice is always wrong, so he brushes it off easily enough.)

As he grew older it was a matter of survival, the rustle of the air as holes of pure nothing tore open and things made of twisted cloth-flesh and empty souls were about to pour out, the electricity and dull fire licking his skin whenever creatures of dark and hate were nearby. Things that passed by in a second, things that kept him alive if he noticed them.

It made him good at reading people once things simmered down. The twitch near the corner of Terra’s lip when Riku was being difficult, Aqua’s left eyebrow raising half an inch to prepare for a lecture, Ven’s eyes darting back and forth when you caught out a bluff, Roxas mouth thinning when you hit a sore spot, Xion’s shoulder’s bunching up if she feels threatened, Lea’s fists clenching when he’s pissed.

Kairi’s nose flaring when she’s frustrated, biting her lip to hold back tears, how empty and tired her eyes were becoming every day Sora remained out of her reach.

He used it to be a better friend, when everyone needed him to be more than any other time in his life, he even thinks he managed it fairly alright. Kairi barely gave him the time of day as things dragged on, but he could hardly blame her for that, with how she was wearing herself thin searching for Sora, for their friend.

The one she loved.

If he was younger, spiteful and jealous and so afraid of being alone, that last thought would have been a knife in the back, but seeing Kairi so determined, so driven, so on fire to look for Sora after everything he’s done, for everyone, for them, for her, it was hard not to admire her now that he’s more secure with his place in their lives and with more years on his shoulders.

And best of all, it paid off.

He didn’t even want to begin to think of all the loops and nonsense he and Kairi (plus their friends from Radiant Garden, and the three Masters, and the king, and Roxas and his gang, and who knows how many more) had to jump through to finally find Sora, but they did. He was beaten within an inch of his life, bruised and bleeding from a few worrying places, but he was alive, against all odds and spitting in the face of whatever laws of nature and destiny were dead set on keeping them all apart, he was alive.

And the look on his face when he caught sight of them, caught sight of Kairi, was absolutely worth every second of searching it took to find him. Riku barely had enough time to cast Curaja to heal their wounds before he and Kairi basically attached themselves to each other to hug and sob and be glad to be together again.

They even pulled him into the hug, and Riku was never more glad to get snot and dirt on his jacket. Soon though, as if all the time searching and fighting and hoping caught up to them all at once, Kairi and Sora fell sound asleep, arms still wrapped around each other and Riku.

Prying himself, however reluctantly, from the hug, Riku was left with the question of how to get these two on the Gummi ship and on the way back to Destiny Islands, back home. Thankfully, Aqua, Terra and Ven were close by when things began to wind down, and were able to help him pick the two up and carry them to the ship.

Still hugging even, after all they went through they seemed determined to never be apart again, even while dead to the world and snoring and drooling on each other. It was cute, in a weird and gross sort of way, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to pry them off each other, and the other three weren’t too keen on the idea either.

So, they laughed, shared a hug, gave their best wishes and congratulations, and left through their portal, and now Riku was left alone on the Gummi with his two sleeping, hugging friends.

And he was making use of his long developed skill for careful inspection to take notice of every little noise the ship made, the groan of metal and grinding of gears, the flowing of fuel through pipes, anything to keep his eyes open and his arms steady, lest he fall asleep and the three heroes that saved the world a good half dozen times will die as a result of crashing into a huge hunk of rock floating in space.

Because he too, like Kairi and Sora, was practically dead on his feet after the trial that was today, but he was left to be the responsible one and get them all back in one piece.

“As per usual, I might add.” He muttered with faux outrage, “I swear, I always have to be the one to actually get stuff done, don’t I?” He shook his head with a scoff, “this is just like the time we were building that damned raft, remember that?”

He turned his head back to look at his friends with a tired smile, Sora having moved his arms to envelop Kairi completely, as if protecting her from a wind that would blow her away, and their princess burying her head in Sora’s chest, as if to anchor him where he was and keep him there with her.

Otherwise, they snored and ignored his question, typical.

“Exactly!” He shouted, to no reaction from the snoozing pair, “I was running around carrying logs and ropes from all over the island, while you two were sleeping the day away on the beach!” He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and shook his head again, paying attention to the give of the leather on the wheel as he steered the ship, “Sora might have been the lazy bum, but Kairi, you always used the excuse to look for him to not have to work and make wayfinders, and that left me to find the two of you only to see you goofing off near the water.”

He left it at that for a moment, pistons whooshing in the air and his friends mumbling softly in their sleep. Sora taking a deep breath through his nose buried in Kairi’s hair, Kairi grabbing Sora’s jacket in a tightening fist.

“…we never did finish it, right?” He let the question hang in the air for a while as he searched his memory of that one sunlit afternoon that took so long to end, that one storm that changed everything, “well, I mean, we did, but we never really got the chance to take it out to sea.” He chuckled at his past self, naïve and sure with his so called plan to seek destiny and a different sky, “not that we would have gotten anywhere, three dumb kids on a rickety raft in the middle of the ocean, wouldn’t that have been a stupid end to our story…”

He was quiet again, listening to the sound of his friends breathing, in and out, in and out, two hearts, two souls, two people he could never imagine being without. It is the most wonderful sound he’s heard in years, and he strains to commit every tiny detail of it to memory.

“We should build it again.” He intones resolutely, eyes dead ahead and watching for their goal, “we should take a day to build it, and actually get it on the water.” He starts smiling without even noticing, his heart growing warm in his chest, “not even out to the ocean, I’d like to think the three of us aren’t that stupid, just, spend an afternoon floating near the beach, just close enough to swim back if we need to.”

He looked at the stars outside the ship, saw them slowly drifting close before floating away, didn’t he dream of this? This freedom? To be this far away from a home that gave him nothing but sand and sea water? Look at him now, wanting nothing but to get back there, to the palm trees and glowing sun.

He hums deep in his throats for a moment, “I think we’ve all earned a day or two of being lazy bums.”

“Try a week.”

Riku’s smile widened for a moment before he tempered it into a cool smirk, “or maybe a month, considering how you two conked out so quick back there.” He looked back with that same smirk to see Sora sleepily blinking at him, only just barely awake and hanging on the edge of falling right back to snoring on Kairi without a care, “how long have you been up?”

“Around the time you started talking about the raft, and how I wasn’t any help.” He used the one hand not wrapped around Kairi to point accusingly at Riku, “which is a big fat lie, don’t you remember me bringing in all the food?”

“Oh yeah, all the food, an egg, two coconuts, three mushrooms, and three tiny fish, a very sustainable supply, Sora.”

“And water!” Sora added cheekily, grinning widely no matter how tired he was, “don’t forget the water!”

“I wouldn’t dare! A whole bottle of water!” Riku stifled a yawn along with a smile, looking back over the map as he adjusted his course slightly, “Kairi practically had to twist your arm to get you to pull your weight and get all of that.”

A moment of quiet before Sora chuckles warmly, “nah, all she really had to do was ask me.”

Riku let out an undignified sound between his lips holding back a laugh, “man, you are so whipped.”

After making a few outraged noises, Sora fired back, “excuse you, I prefer in love.”

The air stills between them, Riku looks back at Sora with a kind smirk, seeing his friend’s face softly glow red.

“Love…” Sora repeated, slowly, as if testing how the word traveled along his tongue, “love…wow…just saying that, don’t think I’ll ever get used to that…” Sora looked down at Kairi, smiling stretching his face as he buried his nose in her hair again, “love…yeah, I’m in love with her, isn’t that crazy, Riku?”

(Why did you think you ever had a chance? Both voices, young and dark, say at once, and he’s so far past over that whole jealousy business that the ease and annoyance in which he pushes that thought out of his head is almost laughable. Because I was young, stupid, and afraid of being alone, now shut it.)

“Not crazy at all, in fact it’s about time you got it through your thick hair and skull,” He looked back at his glaring friend with a grin, “also, same thing as being whipped, buddy.”

“Hey!”

Kairi made a soft sound in her sleep, digging her head deeper into her embrace of Sora, shutting both boys up before they woke her. Sora breathed out a sigh before wrapping his other hand around her, speaking to Riku while his eyes stayed on her sleeping form, “I don’t think I had a chance to thank all of you guys for bringing me back,” he turned to Riku, eyes wet and smile quiet, “so, really, thank you Riku.”

Riku was silent for a long moment, face hardening before he gestured sharply with his chin to their sleeping friend, “she’s the one you should be thanking, Sora, she’s the only person who refused to give up looking for you, no matter what.”

Sora blinked at Riku, taken aback by his sudden sharp tone, “I-I know that-”

“Yeah but you don’t get it.” Riku stalled the ship so it wouldn’t move and turned to Sora, eyes stone like and voice tight, “Kairi damn near killed herself looking for you, on more than one occasion and in a variety of ways, no matter how many times people told her to slow down, no matter how much I told her to take a break before she cracked under the pressure.” He shook his head with a frustrated breath, memories of those stressful months weighing on his mind, “you have no idea what she had to push through to get you back Sora, no fucking idea.”

Sora stared wide eyed at his friend, at a complete lose at what to say to all that, the only thing he could think to do was simply hold on to Kairi tighter as Riku took another breath and rubbed his face.

“No.” Riku shook his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose, taking a few calming gulps of air, “no, that was…that came out angrier than I wanted it to be.” He let out another breath between his teeth, “I’m not…I’m not telling you all of this to guilt trip you Sora, I…I just want you to understand exactly how lucky we all ended up being today.”

Riku’s eyes flit over the many wounds and bandages covering his friends’ bodies, and feeling the faint thumping of his own injuries, that even after a dose of healing magic from both himself and Aqua he knew would leave scars. He pushes the sight of Sora bleeding from the side of his stomach out of his head, he needs to focus.

“Seriously Sora, today was, bar none, the closest call the three of us of had at losing our lives.” An incredulous laugh leaps out of him unbidden, voice a bit hysterical as he went on, as if the danger of the situation has only hit him fully now that he has a chance to look over his shoulder and actually see it, “and considering the shit we went through? That is saying something, don’t you think?” He pinches his left thumb and index finger together and then just barely pulls them apart to make a space between, “this close, that was our margin of error, that was how close I was to losing my two best friends in the whole world, Sora. That was how close Kairi was to failing after everything we all went through.”

Sora started looking at Kairi mid-way through Riku’s plea, the affection in his eyes mixing with something else, something like pride and determination, that look he had when he was prepared to move the stars for the people he loved.

What would he move for Kairi? Riku supposed that wasn’t a question worth asking, considering he already had the answer.

“But she won.” Riku continued, voice growing steady and certain, “she made it Sora, after all of that she made it, we made it, and that means she’s earned something from you.”

“Anything.” Sora said, voice rock solid and eyes unclouded, “I’ll give her anything she needs, everything, what do I need to give her?”

“No Sora, not give.” He leaned back on the wheel, crossing his arms and smiling at his friend, “something you need to tell her.”

Sora looked between the girl in his arms and his smiling friend, once more at a loss, “what’s there left to say?”

“How you feel, Sora.” Riku stated plainly, “exactly how you feel, exactly what you see in her, exactly what you want to do with her, exactly how you love her.” His smile grows warm when comprehension glows in Sora’s eyes, “tell her everything in your heart, even if she already knows what’s there from the time she was there, even if you think it’s stupid, out loud, in the open, between the two of you, leave nothing to guesswork or implication.”

Sora was holding Kairi against his chest, the girl snuggling into his warmth in her sleep but still refusing to wake.

“After everything she did for you, she’s earned that, all of it. And you need to tell her,” Riku looked aside at a window, watching stardust blow by and the universe turn around them, “…because who knows if this was the last time we get so lucky.”

Riku left it at that, letting the implication sink in on its own, turning back to the wheel to start them back on their route, the heavy quiet of his two friends and the noises of the ship his only accompaniment.

“…I called her my guiding light.” He heard Sora whisper, just barely, growing weaker, “…my light in the darkness.”

Riku blinked, the line of his mouth unsure whether to sink or rise, before another laugh jumped from his lungs and it was all he could do to keep the ship steady, “Sora, of all the things I’ve heard you say, that has to be the cheesiest.” He turned his head to look behind him, voice raising in pitch in a parody of Sora’s, “and that includes your famous my friends are my-”

He stopped, seeing Sora once more joining Kairi in dream land, whatever strength he had used to listen to Riku gone like it was never there. Riku would crack up if he didn’t want them both to keep resting.

“…power.” He shakes his head, looking at the map to see how close they were to home, smiling when he saw they weren’t too far. “You two rest,” he mutters as he leans a bit forward on the accelerator, just enough not to rock the ship, “we’re nearly there…we’re back guys, we actually made it.”

Another soft voice from behind him, different from before, tired to the bone but full of joy, “we're…home.”

He waited for more, but a soft sound of shuffling clothes was all he heard from her, so he let the tears of relief drop down his face, “yeah…we’re home.”

-_-_-_-

Kairi was always a heavy sleeper. Maybe it was just how she was built, or perhaps it was a consequence of dropping between worlds and getting her heart stolen when she was young, but waking her was, reportedly, a very difficult task if Lea and Riku and her grandmother were to be believed.

That changed after the year long search into her heart for Sora, in which she spent that whole time sleeping and went away with barely any clue at all to where he might be. After that she barely allowed herself rest, and any sleep she managed was a wired one, where she was set to spring up at the lightest noise or touch in case she needed to summon her weapon and fight.

Sleeping meant dreams, dreams of a sword through her back, dreams of being weak, dreams of her arm being bent behind her until she heard the bones snap. Dreams of him, right within her reach but always too far away, which were the worst of them all. She loathed sleep, loathed the idea she wasted so much time when she could have been out there looking but instead was useless while her friends risked their lives to make up for her weakness.

Sleep was a waste of time, if she had time to lay down on a pillow and be selfish she had time to get on her feet and put the work in to atone for her failings.

And yet, now, it was as if all the sleep that was drained from her in that year of searching came back at once, and all she wanted to do was cling as long and as hard as she could manage to this slumber, this rest sweeter and warmer than she’s felt in ages.

Kairi was surrounded by warmth, her head resting on a pillow, her body covered by a blanket, and she refused to be woken. Her mind was still reeling from something she was sure was a dream; Sora, after all that time searching and struggling, in her arms, alive and here, a part of her was afraid of opening her eyes, afraid this was just another illusion brought about by her desperate mind.

So long as she was pressed up to this warmth, so long as she was hearing the steady thump thump thump of a heart she knew better than her own, so long as her eyes were closed and she saw nothing she knew for certain it was real. At least in the moment, as she rested, Sora was with her again.

Opening her eyes would mean risking the chance she failed, again, that she was still no closer to finding him again, that he was once more torn out of her reach, her heart would clatter to pieces in her chest if that were true, she could only take so much.

So, she clung to sleep as long as she could manage, holding onto it in a death grip, even as she heard Sora and Riku’s voices float around her, even as she felt Sora’s arms wrap tightly around her, even as she felt him put a feather-light kiss to the top of her head.

It was such a wonderful dream, waking would make it a nightmare.

She wouldn’t survive that, she was home, she was finally home.

She wants to rest, please just let her rest.

“Kairi! Kairi wake up!”

Her eyes flew open and she bolted straight up, recognizing the panic in Riku’s voice as well as being shaken by the shoulder. She saw him in front of her, or at least a blurry mess of colors she thought was Riku, and it took a moment for her to realize her eyes were full of tears.

“R-Riku?” She mumbled rubbing her eyes and blinking rapidly, her mind more sluggish than she was used to when waking, “what-what happened?”

Riku, now perfectly visible that her tears were out of the way, sighed, “you were mumbling and crying in your sleep, you scared me for a second there.”

Kairi blinked, “…sleep?” She muttered quietly, a bitter chuckle leaving her as the implications crawled up on her, making her feel cold from every direction, “right…sleep. I was…” She rubs her face with a frustrated breath, scowling, “…I was just…asleep.”

Of course she was, of course it was nothing more than a stupid wish, a ridiculous dream, why would it be anything else, of course.

Another day another failure, no one but herself to blame for hopes raising too high.

Of fucking course.

Riku grew worried, his hands raised towards her uncertainly, “Kairi? You okay there?”

She wonders when he’ll grow sick of her, get tired of her scowling and glaring at him every time he shows her concern, wonders when he’ll just get a clue and give up on her, leave her to this impossible mission that will probably kill her before she drags him down with her.

She won’t stop, even if it costs her everything she won’t stop until she finds him, that was the simple truth of it, if it cost her Riku than she’ll live with it if she needs to. If he’d just hurry up and give on her it might be better, but if Riku lost his heart over her (like they were all twelve all over again and nothing changed) after all the growing up he’s done she’ll never forgive herself.

He reaches out again, concern still clear on his face as he attempts to put a palm on her shoulder, “Kairi?”

“It��s fine.” She dismissed him with a snap, sharper than he deserves but she’ll curse herself for it later, rubbing a spot at the back of her head, “I’m fine Riku it was just…just a dream.” She sighed harshly and pushed against the warmth of her pillow and the bed she laid on, one hand holding her up, “don’t worry about me just give me a-”

Thump.

Kairi is frozen, every bone in her body locks in place, her heart seizes in her chest and she waits, waits for that steady rhythm under her palm, to make sure she wasn’t going crazy after all this time, after all that searching.

Thump.

Tears start flowing down her cheeks as she slowly turns to her left, to see what she’s laying her hand on. She’s met with the lazy bum who stole her heart, her hero and her friend. She sees Sora, soundly snoozing under her palm like nothing in the world was amiss.

Thump.

Her face lights up with an impossibly wide grin, her whole body bursting in flame to burn away the ice that froze her not a moment before, all while tears continue to flow down her cheeks as she sees Sora breath in and out in peaceful sleep.

“Kairi?” She turned to Riku, his face torn between a relieved smirk and a worried fret, his eyes jumping from spot to spot on her body, not quite sure where to stop, “are you…Kairi what’s wro-”

“This is real.”

Riku blinked, “what?”

“This.” She emphasized by bunching up the fabric of Sora’s shirt in her hand, her eyes never leaving Riku as she smiled and cried, “this is real, all of it, right?” A desperate edge sharpened the end of her question, a bit of panic floating in the air, her grin unstable at the corners, “he, Sora, he’s really here right? We did it, right?” She took her second hand and grabbed Riku’s shoulder, her fingers shaking, “this isn’t a dream? I’m not seeing things, right Riku? Is he back? Right?”

He grasps her by the shoulders, steadies her by with a solid stare and a steely grip, and when the panic drains out of her, he smiles, “we did it Kairi, this isn’t a dream.” He leans his forehead on hers and her tears nearly double, “we did it.”

She crumples into him after a few disbelieving spurts of laughter, hiccupping as she buried herself into the crook of his neck and used one arm to hug him fiercely, the other still bunching up the fabric of Sora’s shirt nearest to that precious heartbeat.

Thump.

A soft groaning rose beneath her palm, and she leaned away from Riku to see Sora slowly rousing from his slumber, mumbling incoherently as he sat up, “Mmn…wha…?” He blinked the sleep out of his eyes as he managed to sit up straight, smiling slowly as he took in the image of his two best friends in front of him, “hey guys, did I sleep long?”

Kairi’s grin nearly split her face, the arm she had wrapped around Riku and joining its twin near Sora’s heart, “no more than usual, lazy bum.”

Sora matched her grin inch for inch, all his teeth on display as he wrapped one hand over the two she placed on his chest, eyes soft as he took her in, “man, been a while since I heard that…one…” He trailed off as he finally noticed her tears, Kairi could only imagine how blotchy her cheeks were, the red rimming her eyes, but all she could see was the love and concern filling his face and weighing down his voice as he brought his other hand to brush a few stray drops from her left cheek, “Kai…don’t tell me I did this…”

He did, he is the reason she was crying so openly right now. He wormed his way into her heart years ago and refused to leave, even when he left her memories her heart remembered him. Yet he seemed chronically out of her reach, every time it seemed they would have a moment together it was snatched away by shadows and men who cared only for their curiosity and not for anyone they might hurt in searching to satiate it.

He protected her time and time and time again, putting his body and his soul on the line to keep her safe even as the sight of it robbed her of sleep. And when the time came to repay him his bravery, she failed, and her failure costed her more than she was ever willing to pay.

She got to stand by his side, lending her strength to him like she wished to do so since they were both children, lost in a war they had no business in waging. She held him in her arms and walked with him through so many worlds and saw so many things…and then he was gone again.

Yes, he did this, he was the reason tears were staining her face and her body ached with bruises and sores from yet more fights and yet more war that she waged herself to find him. He was also the reason she was able to push through all of that, the reason she was able to wake day after day with the hope that she would find him again, that they would have time again.

She loves him, and he’s made her cry for all sort of reasons over the years, so he shouldn’t be so surprised that she’s crying now.

Instead of giving him that answer, instead of telling him all of that, all that mess of emotion and muddled thoughts that have crept into her mind after the long search for him, she settled for leaning her head forward, closing her eyes, and capturing his lips with hers.

A shock went through him for a quick second, Kairi having felt him jump as her lips landed on his, but soon his arms crushed her in a hug as he returned the pressure and they were lost in each other, the whole universe falling away as they simply existed in the moment, together at last.

…at least until Riku very loudly cleared his throat to remind them that he was still in the room.

“You guys good?”

They reluctantly separated, suddenly sheepish now that they remembered that reality wasn’t limited to themselves, faces glowing red as they looked at each other uncertainly for a moment before big, goofy grins stretched their faces again. They laughed loudly, some combination of elation and relief, smiling at Riku who returned his own understated smirk.

“I’ll take that as a yes…and as my cue to leave.” He turned towards the door with a light and easy step, waving over his shoulder, “I’ll see you two in the-”

He’s stopped when both Kairi and Sora grab one of his hands, their faces worried at his sudden departure, “Riku,” Kairi started, guilt at how she treated him when she woke up gnawing up her stomach, “you don’t-you don’t have to leave, you know were not pushing you away right?”

Riku blinks at her, as if the thought never even crossed his mind, “yeah!” Sora added, sharing a quick look with Kairi as he squeezed Riku’s with one of his own while the other was still holding one of Kairi’s, “we’re just-”

“Guys relax.” Riku stressed, pulling his hand out of their grip and smiling easily at them, “It’s not like when we were kids, I know you aren’t doing that, it’s fine.” He crossed his arms and looked down at them with a raised eyebrow, “it’s just I know that you two, specifically you two, have a few things you need to work out,” a too smart grin lit his face, “privately.”

Kairi could feel her face catch fire from the implication, “Riku.”

The grin didn’t budge, “am I wrong?” He looked more directly at Sora, “well?”

She turned to look at Sora, face just as red as hers was, when she saw a determined gleam take shape in his eyes, “…yeah, you’re right, we do have some things to talk over.” Sora met her gaze and she could feel her heart beat a bit faster as he smiled at her, “just the two of us.”

Kairi was stuck between being utterly elated at Sora’s affection, mortified at Riku’s good natured laughter, and confused at what those two boys might have communicated with that brief look.

As she was deciding which direction she wanted to lean towards, she noticed for the first time that she didn’t recognize the room Riku brought them two; bare bones with only a bed, a desk, and a window to give it any features beyond the inside of a pale white box.

“Riku, what is this place?” Kairi looked around a bit more, confused, “this isn't…my room, or-or Sora’s,” she ignored the snigger he sent her way, “where is this?”

Sora nodded, “yeah, I don’t think I remember any place like this back home…”

“You wouldn’t.” Riku said plainly, “this is just a small place the Radiant Garden Committee bought when they were looking for clues to find Sora around here.” He shrugged, “when they didn’t find anything they gave me the keys to keep safe since my house is the closest to here,” He looked at Kairi, “and since your room hasn’t been touched or cleaned since Sora disappeared and his room is just a total mess in general, I figured this is the best place to bring you two so you could…” His grin came back, cheeky to the extreme, “catch up, privately.”

It was Sora’s turn to glare red-faced at their mutual friend, eyes wide and darting between him and Kairi, “Riku seriously you-” He stopped of a sudden, taking another wide look at the room, some realization causing his red face to pale a bit, “Riku…Riku there’s-” He gulped in the middle of his halting speech, voice creaking, “there’s only one bed.”

Kairi blinked, her brain trying to catch up to what Sora sounded so stressed about, and when it did she could practically hear the kettle screech as the inside of her head boiled and she snapped a glare in Riku’s direction, his face the picture of perfect innocence.

He didn’t.

“Really?” He asked, voice surprised and taken aback, as if he didn’t know this room for the longest time out of the three of them, looking around the space as if he was just taking it in for the first time, “well what do you know, there is only one bed!”

That bastard he did.

“Huh, what are the chances?” He started walking towards the door, utterly nonchalant as he pushed on the handle to open it, “honestly, how weird is it that the one place I could think to bring you two that has any privacy would only have one bed, crazy!”

She was going to kill him. She’s going to wait until he’s sleeping, thank him for all the help he’s given her and being a better wingman than she honestly deserved, and then she was going to kill him.

“I suppose you’ll simply have to make do with just one bed, guys.” The bastard they called a best friend smiled pleasantly as he stepped under the threshold, ignoring Sora’s steaming face and Kairi’s murderous glare, “honestly this place is really private, so you guys can take as long as you need to talk things out, okay?” His smile turned endlessly smug, “try not to have too much fun!”

They both opened their mouths to shout his head off, but he slammed the door in their faces with an evil cackle more fitting for an Organization member than a guardian of light, leaving them in the room.

Alone.

Together.

With only one bed.

Kairi was going to kill him.

Her plans to horribly murder Riku were derailed when she heard a soft chuckle from behind her, looking over her shoulder to see Sora laughing a bit awkwardly, as soon as he saw her staring at him he sent a heart melting smile her way as his face continued to glow red, “good to see Riku’s sense of humor stayed the same.”

Kairi smiled back, her chest aching with how much she missed hearing him laugh, seeing him smile, as if to make sure she was aware that this wasn’t a dream. “One of the few things that didn’t change.” She didn’t mean it in a bad way, or a good way, simply acknowledging how much shifted since the time Sora vanished, not really caring for any of that currently anyway, far more occupied with the person on the bed with her, twining her fingers with his and leaning her forehead against his shoulder, “like you, you haven’t changed much either, Sora.”

He’s quiet for a minute, putting his nose in her hair again, drinking her in before he sighed, “…but you did.” He said finally, smiling thinly as he squeezed his fingers around hers, refusing to let go, “you changed a lot Kairi.”

There’s a note of sadness there alongside the pride, a twist of guilt in his voice she does not intend to allow to grow, “it’s been a long time Sora, a lot happened to me, to everyone,” she laughed mirthlessly for a moment before nuzzling into him, basking in his heat, “besides the obvious, of course.”

He’s silent again for a brief second, and then he pulls away slightly, locking his gaze with hers, showing her there was still some guilt in there, a sense of responsibility for what happened. Like he allowed her to die, like it was his fault she needed to be saved, again, and the price he had to pay for it was nearly too much.

She would have to fix that way of thinking, wouldn’t she?

“Kairi…” He started, and she could hear the despairing, heartwarming speech coming from a mile away, “I…I’m so sorry for-”

She silenced him with another kiss, hungrier than the last, more confident. She liked the feel of his lips against hers, she decided, and she also decided that she had a lot of time to make up for, and that the single bed they were laying on was perfect for that purpose.

(She was still going to kill Riku after this, of course, no question of it, but first thing’s first…)

She wrapped her arms around him, and soon he did the same, his mouth clumsy on hers, eager yet uncoordinated, not the she was much better. They were both severely lacking in practical experience, bumping their noses and clacking teeth on more than one occasion, but they made up for it with passion and desperation.

They hungered for each other, the long absence and coldness in their hearts begging to be filled and warmed. Soon she found herself with her back pinned to the mattress, Sora peppering feather light kisses all over her face as he cupped it in his hands. Her own fingers were busy threading through his hair, eager to feel him, ecstatic at the chance to reinforce the fact that he was here, with her, real and in the flesh and here with her, and that this wasn’t another dream.

Because she’s had this dream before, many times before, when the loneliness threatened to overwhelm her, her mind would conjure this image of the two of them on a bed, totally engrossed in each other with no sign of slowing down.

It always ended before it got good, which served to fuel her loneliness and frustration. She hoped that, since this was real, that this Sora, unlike the one in her dreams (who was, coincidentally, not nearly as good with his hands and lips as the genuine article), would be so kind as to satisfy this warm pit at the bottom of her stomach.

“W-wait-Kairi wait-”

Oh damn it.

“Kairi I-”

“Sora.” She pleaded breathlessly, and the way his jaw hanged loose and his eyes widened proved it was effective at getting his attention, “not now, please not now, please I just want-”

“I know.” He says firmly, though he visibly swallows a lump in his throat as he keeps his palms pressed to her cheeks, “believe me I know, and I’m the same,” he breathes harshly through his nose when she turns her face to kiss his right palm, clearly fighting for restraint, “trust me on that, but-but Riku’s right, I need to tell you something.”

She barely stopped herself from whining, putting Sora’s face in her hands like he did with her, her whole world warming the space between her fingers, “can’t it wait till morning?”

“No.” He was firm this time, putting his hands on the small of her back to pull her up as he leaned back to sit on the mattress, gaze burning into her, “I need to say it now, there’s so much I need to tell you now because if I don’t do it now I’ll lose the nerve for it.”

Kairi was torn between planting another kiss on him, which she was sure would be enough for him to see sense and continue what they were doing, and biting her tongue to calm her burning nerves so she could listen to him.

Knowing Sora, and she hoped she knew him well enough, it was probably something both very heartfelt, very sincere, and very, very stupid. But seeing how serious he was, the warmth of his hands on her waist, the depth of determination in his eyes, she couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Alright…” She allowed, after a sigh, wrapping her arms over his shoulders and around his neck, leaning her forehead on his, smiling softly as his blush deepened, “tell me everything Sora, if it’s that important to you, I’ll listen to everything you have in your heart.”

Sora blinked at her, a bit taken aback, before matching her smile, “who taught you how to flirt?”

She placed a kiss on his nose before she put her forehead back on his, a toothy grin on her face.

She doesn’t think she’s ever been this…happy. This content to be with someone and exchange affection like this, her heart bursting with happiness and her face bursting into flame with every little action and smile Sora showed, it was ridiculous.

Sora rubbed his nose with her as revenge, and after a quick giggling fit from the both of them, he locked gazes with her again, as serious as he was when he asked her to listen. He closes his eyes and takes a breath, to steady himself, to straighten his thoughts in the order he wished to share, and then opens them again, and speaks clearly and resolutely, “I love you Kairi, more than anything in the world.”

Kairi could feel her blood boil, her face nearly catching fire. She was almost confused as to why, considering she’s known what’s in heart for a while now. She’s known since she saw that picture on the cave wall he made years ago, where he offered her a Paopu fruit, since they shared one while watching a sunset.

She’s known since the day he ripped himself apart simply to be able to hold her in his arms one last time before taking her home.

Hearing it though, in so many words, out loud, seemed more than enough to make her heart want to burst out of her chest.

And he wasn’t done, the hands on the small of her back pulling her closer to him as his eyes dug into her and refused to let go, “you’re amazing, you’re the reason I was able to push through the dark when I thought I was going to be overwhelmed, you remember what I called you right? When you saved me? Way back when?” His gaze grew soft as he recalled that moment, where she pulled him out of the dark and back into the fight, “you’re my light in the darkness Kairi, I want you to know that, I want you to know how strong you make me feel, how I feel like I can do anything so long as you’re by my side.”

Kairi could feel more tears falling down her cheeks, she felt overwhelmed, like she was drowning in him, utterly engulfed by him and his love for her. All the doubt and fear she’s felt over her search seemed so insurmountable, crushed under the weight of it all. And yet here he was, reaching out his hand again, pulling her up, inch by inch, and wrapping her in his light.

“And…” He went on, that sadness and guilt from before resurfacing, and Kairi had to physically stop herself from interrupting him as he went on, she promised she would listen to him, she promised, “what you went through to find me again? Bring me back? I’ll never be able to thank you for that; I’ll never be able to pay you back for all of that.”

She feels cold. Ice is spreading through her veins, and freezing her from her feet to her heart. He’s wrong. He’s wrong. She’s done nothing he needs to thank her for, she wasn’t some guiding light, just an angry girl who didn’t know her limits.

A child who walked right off a cliff expecting the bottom to ignore her.

(I’m the reason you were dead, the reason you pulled yourself apart, because I was weak and slow and failed even though I put all that work into training and learning how to use my keyblade I was less than useless I couldn’t do anything I couldn’t save you on my own I couldn’t beat Xehanort alone you helped me don’t you see? I was lost and angry and pushed everyone away without you I was weak without you I-)

“Kairi!”

His shout pulled her by the hair out of her sudden sink, a yank that left her out of breath and gasping, her cheeks soaked with her tears. She felt ill, a spike jabbing itself as far as it could go in her gut, she didn’t deserve this, all this praise from him, she didn’t deserve a love like this from someone like him, she didn’t deserve this dream-

He captured her face between his palms again, making sure that he was the only thing she could focus on. He was warm. His hands on her cheeks were warm and gentle and real and she felt like a fool for letting herself fall like this, so easily getting swallowed up by fear and doubt when Sora was right there, right in front of her.

Damn it why can’t she just be happy for once!?

“Kairi.” He repeats, firmly, “are you listening to me? You promised you would listen, are you?” He waited for her to make a few halting, stuttering nods before he went on, carefully enunciating each word as he said it, “You. Aren’t. Weak.”

She’s shocked still for a moment, and then a bitter, cracking laugh raises from her, “I said that out loud?” She laughed herself to pieces, more tears staining her cheeks as her voice grew weaker, “well, I bet that ruined the mood huh?”

Sora stared wide eyed at her for a moment, leaning back a bit to look at her fully, see every inch of her and all the angry red blotches covering her face from her tears. His face calmed, and his voice was a salve for her fraying mind, slowly pulling her pieces back together as he spoke, “Riku told me about what you did to get me back Kairi, how far you went, how you refused to give up.” He took her hands in his, rubbing circles on the back of her hand and knuckles, “you pushed and pushed and pushed, you never stopped, you were the first to go looking for me, and you’re the one who found me.”

He lifted her hands to his lips, placing a gentle kiss to her fingers tips, and she could nearly feel the refreshing rush of a cure spell working its way through her system, and she slowly found it easier to breathe.

“It took strength to do that Kairi, it took more strength than people who’ve fought for longer than you and I have been alive could muster, never doubt that.” He tightens his grip on her hands, placing them on his chest to feel his heartbeat, more frantic and pounding then it was when she felt it as he woke, “you’re the reason my heart is beating Kairi, you’ve kept me going since all of this started, I want you to remember that, alright?”

She bunched up the fabric of his shirt where she could feel his heart racing, some age old memory of when it was a sanctuary for her own heart surfacing, where his soul kept her safe without knowing. To think he thought the same of her, that she was something like that to him, it was hard to parse, impossible to believe, but he said it so earnestly what else could it be but the truth?

“Okay.” She answered, voice wavering, a wet, fragile smile on her face, pulling him closer so she could put her forehead to his collarbone, his chin tucking her in and his arms holding her in place and rubbing soothing circles on her back, “I won’t forget Sora, I promise.”

“I want you to live Kairi.” He spoke into her hair, placing another kiss on her crown, “I don’t want you to tear yourself apart to return some favor to me that you never owed in the first place, we’re even, you and I, always have been and always will be, and nothing will make me happier than to have you by my side,” he pauses for a moment, and she can feel him smiling in her hair, “that sound alright?”

“Perfect.” She answers swiftly, a pleased giggle bubbling in her chest as she nuzzled into him, holding him tighter, “that sounds perfect.”

They stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other’s warmth without moving, Kairi could feel her legs falling asleep but couldn’t find it in her to change positions, feeling so utterly content with the world and the angle she’s found for herself in it.

Eventually though, she could feel Sora shift slightly in her grip, though not out of discomfort. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if poised to say something but rejecting the words before they could fully form.

Reluctantly, she lifted her head from her cozy spot under his chin and looked up at him, wiping her eyes and smiling tiredly at him with no small amount of affection, “anything else you want to tell me, Sora?”

He visibly struggled under her gaze, pulling away one arm from his embrace to scratch the back of his head in a way the reminded her of a much younger boy, lounging on the sand while the world smelled of sea salt. “…yes.” He mumbled eventually, voice subdued as if he wasn’t sure he was allowed to speak this out, “but it’s…kinda stupid.”

If Sora, of all people, thought something was stupid, then it must be something utterly spectacular, which meant that Kairi really wanted him to say it, if only to have something to laugh at to lift the mood a bit.

“Didn’t I tell you I wanted to listen to everything?”

“Yeah but…” He looks away with a light blush on his face while scratching his chin and he was so cute Kairi had to hold back from kissing him so she wouldn’t interrupt, “but it's…really kinda silly.”

“Then you have to tell me!” She smiled up at him, searching for his eyes and smiling wider when she found his sky blue gaze locking with hers, “it’s been a heavy few minutes and I could use a laugh.”

Sora scoffed briefly, smiling incredulously at her as he sputtered, “well I’m not going to tell you if you’re going to laugh! It’s important!”

Despite his seeming outrage, he burst out laughing himself soon after, drugging her under as the previous heavy atmosphere from before dissipated completely. As soon as she could calm herself enough she grabbed one of his hands, still chuckling a bit as she squeezed it to get his attention, “if it’s important to you Sora, then I won’t laugh.” She let out a giggle when he raised an eyebrow at her, “okay I won’t laugh too much, but I will listen, I promise.”

He looked at her for a moment, his mind twisting itself into knots trying to come to a conclusion, before he sighed heavily and got up from the bed, turning her back on her and crossing his arms.

She blinked, flat-footed, “Sora?”

“Just…” He muttered, beginning to pace in front of the bed, his face severe in concentration, “just give me a second, I need…I need to get the words right…”

She blinked again, blank on what could have him so stuck on the words, but she stayed where she was, watching him slowly pace back and forth from one room of the wall to another. His lips moved without sound, as if sculpting the way for the words to come out properly without stumbling over themselves.

A part of her, a very childish, naïve part of her, had an innocent guess at what he was planning to say, but she pushed it back as far as she could before her face turned too red at the idea of it. It was a nice hope, but she shouldn’t raise such things so high, lest they shatter when they eventually fall.

Finally, Sora took a steadying breath, stopping right in front of Kairi and turning back to her, eyes nearly glowing with an emotion she found it hard to describe, something intense and bright that left her mouth dry.

Then, he took her left hand and held it between both of his, his palms wrapping it in a comforting warmth, locking gazes with her so she wouldn’t look away.

He then got down on one knee, and Kairi could vaguely hear the sound of a fuse shorting out.

She used her other hand to stealthily pinch her thigh hard enough to hurt, and sure enough the image of Sora, down on one knee, looking up at her with upmost love and devotion, did not dissipate and vanish, she wasn’t seeing things, this was actually happening.

She was so busy determining the reality of him that she almost missed him beginning to speak, “Kairi,” he spoke her name like a prayer, like a vow, softly and reverently, but firm and impossible to miss, “will you marry me?”

Kairi’s heart nearly exploded in her chest, her face flushing with heat as blood rushed up from seemingly her entire body to fill it. She had nothing, nothing to say to that, even after getting him back, even after hearing him tell her how he feels for her, her mind simply could not recover from the shock of hearing that.

Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she spluttered out a chocked, “what?”

Sora mistook her question for reluctance instead of disbelief, and kept going, “sharing a Paopu fruit means tying your fate to another person forever, making sure you’ll never be apart, right?” He barely waited for her to nod dumbly before he squeezed her hand between his palms and went on, “we shared two, and isn’t that kinda like promising each other two lifetimes?”

Kairi’s mind was too busy screeching a few variations of holy shit this is actually happening over and over for her to offer any kind of intelligent response to him, so she settled for a hesitant, “I-I guess?”

“I want more than that.” He leapt in as soon as she finished stuttering, her heartbeat going impossibly fast as he smiled up at her with so much hope and love she didn’t know how he could contain it all, “I want more than two, or three, or ten, I want every single lifetime I could possibly have to be beside you, I want to be by your side through anything life might throw at us next, I want to fight with you, travel with you, live with you and love you and be happy with you for as long as I can possible manage.”

She could feel more tears flowing down her cheeks, warm and happy.

“I…” He stopped for a second to catch his breath from the sudden burst he had earlier, edging closer to her while still on his knees, “I want…forever, with you, Kairi. I want forever, for as long or as short as forever end up being, I want to spend every single second of it with you.”

And finally, he’s done. Kairi could only sit there, looking down at this boy, young man, who loved her with all of his heart and then some, sit among the love and affection he promised to give her, and feel more at home than she’s felt in years.

She pulls her hand from him, and there’s a light note of panic in his face when she does, “you were right,” she says, with the warmest loving smile she can manage, putting his face between her palms again, “it really was a little stupid.”

The note of panic increased for a moment before she leaned down to kiss him deeply and slowly, letting the taste of him and his warmth and his love place itself in her memory, his shoulders lowering with relief.

She pulled away from him, smiling again, “stupid that you actually thought you had to ask when you already know the answer to that question.”

He blinked, bewildered both by the kiss and her words, before a sheepish grin lit up his face, “it is wrong to want to hear it out loud?”

She laughed warmly, pulling him back on the bed by his shoulders and leaning her forehead on his one more time, leaning in until their lips almost touched, “ask me again.” She pecked his lips quickly, too quickly for him to return pressure, “ask me again and you’ll hear it.”

He put his hands on her waist, the warmth and weight of his fingers pleasing and calming, and took a deep breath, “Kairi,” he started, voice low, tone confident and solid, “will you marry me?”

“Yes.” She promised, kissing him again as she did, “yes, I will,” she kissed him a second time, a third, a fourth, adding another promise between his lips every time she came up for air, and she’s lost in him again, his warmth surrounding her and flowing into her without restraint, “I love you Sora, I want forever too,” another kiss, I want forever with you.“

He groaned against her lips as he captured them again, his arms crushing her against his frame before they both collapsed on the bed, tangled up in each other so that neither knew where one began and the other ended.

The night passed in warmth and passion, and Kairi knew that this, this place, between the sky and his heart, was where she belonged.

-_-_-

Sora softly brushed a lock of Kairi’s hair behind her ear, placing his palm on her cheek as she slowly breathed in and out.

He was awake for about half an hour now, but he didn’t want to move, didn’t want to ruin this perfect little moment where the morning sun played tricks on Kairi’s dark red hair and her face was peaceful and calm and content.

They were both still in bed, of course, covered only by a blanket as Kairi slumbered and Sora waited for her to wake. He wanted this moment to last, to engrave the image of Kairi smiling in her sleep into his mind so he never forgot it, so he can remember his promise to make her happy.

She deserved this and nothing less, he decided, to be able to sleep peacefully in his arms and not doubt herself. Her tears from the night before haunted him, Riku’s words about how she nearly ripped herself to pieces ringing loudly in his mind.

He loved her, this truth echoed in him with every breath she took and with every beat of his heart as he laid near her. He wanted to give her peace and joy, to love herself as much as he loved her, he wanted her to believe in herself as much as he did.

He wanted forever, and knowing their luck, forever might not be all that long at all.

Riku was right, they were lucky, the three of them, maybe luckier than they deserved, but he was determined to make sure they wouldn’t need to be so lucky ever again.

He didn’t know what else the world had to throw at him, but he was ready, ready to fight it all, every single evil thing that lurked in shadow and hate he was ready for. He was ready to fight with her, to put his hand in hers and jump into the unknown with her knowing, knowing, they will come out the other side still holding on.

He’ll give her a home, a family, every little thing she deserved, and there was so much she deserved, he’ll give her, and nothing will keep them apart ever again. Not darkness or destiny or prophecy, nothing.

Forever would have to wait a while though, for now, Sora will content himself with Kairi’s sleeping face, the light catching on her eyelashes as she breathed in and out in a steady rhythm.

After a few more minutes of this, Kairi’s face scrunched up a bit, she mumbled in her sleep for a moment, Sora holding his breath to keep quiet and watch, wait for the moment where she saw him, to make sure he was the first thing she saw as she woke.

Soon her eyes, dull with sleep but brimming with joy, caught sight of him, and tiny tears formed at the edges of her eyes as she smiled at him, "Sora…” her voice wasn’t relieved, or surprised, but happy, truly happy, truly accepting that it wasn’t a dream, that what she was seeing was real and loved her, “you’re back…”

Smiling at her sleepy words, Sora leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss, breathing her in as she smiled against him with a lazy tilt, nose to nose with her as he smiled back. “I’m home.”

Kairi’s smile was the most radiant, most sublime thing he had ever seen in his live. She kissed him, and home would never leave him again.

#Kingdom hearts #Sokai #She deserves the stars #stuff rex wrote #jeebus I wanted this to be long this time and look what i got #fuck I've been working on this for like a week #worth it #Riku is the no. 1 sokai shipper and none of you will be able to convince me otherwise

16 notes · View notes

tacitcantos · 5 years

Video

youtube

Why 2019′s Twilight Zone is Boring

Though 70 years old at this point, the original 1950 Rod Sterling Twilight Zone is still one of the creepiest and smartest works of speculative and weird fiction ever committed to TV. It’s a series that poses strange questions and offers even stranger answers, a series that’s moody and atmospheric and thought provoking, a dark parable that’s gone on to inspire other works of weird fiction.

It’s no wonder then that there have been so many attempts throughout the years to revive it: a movie in 1983, a series in 1985, and another series in 2002. Each has been greeted with varying levels of critical success, but none have been as culturally impactful as the original.

The 2019 remake... won’t be breaking that tradition.

Don’t get me wrong, the new Twilight Zone has a distressing amount of quality and talent involved. The cast is solid throughout, and the only reason certain episodes work at all is the powerful performances of the actors involved. There’s also a nice push for racial diversity in the cast, and sometimes in the themes of a few of the episodes like Replay and The Traveler.

The visuals of each of the ten episodes are gorgeous and moody, and the music wonderful and atmospheric and reminiscent of the discordant jangles and strings of the late and great 2013 Hannibal tv show. It’s a lot of quality to be draped on a fundamentally flawed structure.

To understand the fundamental flaw in the new series, we have to go back to the original Rod Sterling Twilight Zone. And the thing that has to be understood about the original series is that it’s not science fiction despite looking like it on the surface.

Science Fiction

Though there are dozens of definitions of science fiction, at its core one of the key aspects of science fiction is that it introduces a technology or technologies we don’t have in the modern day, and it explores and maps out the impact and implications they’d have on individuals and society.

For example, I, Robot by Isaac Asimov is interested in the implications of what sentient artificial intelligence means for our understanding of personhood, how an AI would define and think about itself, and how society would go about trying to control it, leading to the three laws of robotics for which the book is most famous.

This definition of science fiction is also why something like Star Wars, at its heart, is not science fiction despite having a lot of the trappings of it. It has a lot of technologies that don’t exist in the modern day, but it’s not interested in the impact of them. It has lightsabers because they’re cool, not because it wants to speculate about how they would change warfare.

Even the implications of the force, the speculative aspect of its universe that’s most critical to the story, isn’t really explored. How does the force change the universe? You get mystical samurai cops, and that’s about it. Nothing about the force is actually key to the functioning of the star wars universe. You could take it out and the movies would be a lot less fun, but the universe wouldn’t really be changed. This isn’t to disparage Star Wars: I love Star Wars, but despite its trappings it’s fantasy, and to say it’s science fiction just isn't accurate.

Parable

Much like Star Wars, despite its trappings The Twilight Zone isn’t science fiction. But it’s not fantasy either. The Twilight Zone is a much older and simpler form of story. It’s a parable. Each episode is a self contained story of right and wrong, with the strange or impossible element there to hammer home a message, not be explored.

All three of these genres we’ve talked about, Science Fiction, Fantasy, and parable, have strengths and weaknesses unique to them. One of the strengths of a parable is its clarity. There’s right and wrong, and not a lot else to be said. Almost by necessity, parables have to be streamlined and simple in structure. In a parable there’s a message or lesson and the story is really just a vehicle to illustrate it.

The parable of the boy who cried wolf doesn’t go into the emotional underpinnings of why a boy would consistently sound a false alarm over and over again, because it’s not important. Did he have an abusive childhood? Was it a metaphor for trying to escape abuse and the unwillingness of society to listen? Is the wolf symbolically his abuser? The parable doesn’t care and it isn’t important to the point it’s trying to make; don’t sound false alarms or no one will pay attention to you when the threat is real.

Simplicity of Structure

The original 1950’s Twilight Zone understood that simplicity of structure was key to a successful parable: each episode was a half hour in length; just long enough for setup, twist, and falling action. You can tell this simple structure was key to the Twilight Zone’s success because most of what people remember about any given Twilight Zone episode is the ending.

And while having such a simple structure might seem restrictive, I’d argue that not only is it the most effective way of telling a parable, but that there’s a lot of freedom in structure, that the simplicity of the structure allowed Rod Sterling and the other writers to grapple with issues other shows on TV couldn’t at the time, and allowed the episodes to breath in the grace notes.

And exhibit A in my argument is the new Twilight Zone.

Where the original Twilight Zone was a half hour, the 2019 incarnation is twice that length at an hour. And while I’m sure the writers and producers thought that was a great chance to expand and tell a more complete and complicated story than the original show, what it actually does is put the episodes in an uncomfortable limbo. They’re too long to be able to embrace the simplicity of the original show, that structure of setup twist and falling action, and too short to really be able to explore the core concept and theme of each episode. There’s a reason most movies aren’t an hour long, and that’s because it’s simply not a conducive length for telling a good story. With each episode of the New Twilight Zone I found myself bored around the thirty minute mark, impatient for the twist out of curiosity but not really invested in the characters or plot.

Not All Men

Episode 7, Not All Men, is a good example of the problems the extended run time of the new Twilight Zone can cause. The core concept is that there’s a meteor that falls and causes all men in the area to become violent. This is sort of a dumb concept to begin with, but not completely doomed. The main character even goes through some growth. She starts the episode unassertive and meek in the face of the patriarchal hierarchy of the company she works at and ends it standing up for herself against male harassment:

This isn’t an inherently bad arc, but it’s execution is pitiful, without enough weight for we the audience to become invested in. We never get any real indication of why the character starts the way she does, what her life experience has been to shape her into who she is, and there’s no sacrifice or growth involved in her change.

If the episode was longer it could’ve delved into that material, made the main character a fully realized and three dimensional person that we could’ve become invested in and root for, but as the episode stands she and her growth are more perfunctory than anything else. She’s meek, she runs from agro dudes for a bit, then stands up for herself.

The twist of the episode also isn’t worth waiting a whole hour for. At the climax of the episode it’s revealed that while the meteor makes men more violent, it’s not an overriding urge: the episode implies that the affected men didn’t resist simply because they wanted an excuse to inflict violence. But, because the twist comes so late, its not really given enough time to breathe and be explored in a meaningful way.

Simple Messages

This ties into another fundamental problem with the 2019 series, which is that it isn’t anywhere near as smart as it thinks it is. Often the idea or message at the heart of an episode is borderline offensive in how simple it is. By trying to avoid destiny you create it? Paranoia is bad? You should care about the suffering of others? Mind boggling. Truly.

They’re not bad messages, but they’re simple. And the television audience of 2019 isn’t the audience of 1959: the modern audience is more schooled and experienced with scifi and weird fiction. We’re not shocked or provoked into thought anymore just by the introduction of a weird element like your car coming to life and stalking you. It’s not enough.

This isn’t to say audiences of 1959 were dumb, but the discourse around scifi and weird fiction for even the casual tv watcher of today is a lot more complex than it was back then. We’re not in the 101 level anymore, more like the 103 level: we’ve seen the initial introduction of most ideas, seen them explored and challenged and subverted, and are now bored by those first two levels of discussion.

This is why the core message of an episode like Point of Origin, in which refugees from another world are rounded up and placed in concentration camps, falls flat. The episode follows a woman who’s privileged life is stripped from her when a government agency identifies her as an unwitting refugee from another dimension, and imprisons her in a concentration camp.

The episode’s message isn’t subtle: you should care about the suffering as others, you should treat immigrants as people: and that even before her fall from grace the woman should’ve cared more about the fate of her immigrant housekeeper and illegal immigrants broadly.

It’s not a bad message, and it’s one that a mind boggling amount of people nowadays somehow still don’t understand, but from a fictive perspective it’s too simple and trite to spark interest and engagement or make the audience think.

Preach Fatigue

And it’s also a message we’ve heard several thousand times. The way we consume information nowadays is different from when the original Twilight Zone first aired; the discourse around topics like immigration or gender nowadays is in many ways saturated and as an audience we suffer from a type of preach fatigue where we’ve been told so many times the given side of a given topic is bad or good that we’ve sort of stopped listening.

This wasn’t as much of an issue in 1960, and it especially wasn’t an issue with the Twilight Zone. Back then scifi and weird fiction wasn’t considered a mode of serious social commentary in the tv arena, which meant The Twilight Zone could lure audiences in for a fun and spooky time, their cognitive defenses lowered, and then sucker punch them with something deeper than what they expected.

That advantage of bypassing and audiences preach defenses is completely lost in 2019’s Twilight Zone. We all know that science fiction can effectively tackle big issues, and we know the deal with The Twilight Zone specifically: that it’s going to have a twist in the last act that makes us question our complicity in some social issue. Our preach fatigue hackles are already raised.

In 1960 the Twilight Zone was adding a new element to the discussion, but now, the social topics it was concerned with are are so heavily examined that to do truly do a comparable job, it needed to be way, way more clever than Point of Origin’s premise of "imagine its aliens instead of Mexicans". To be as effective as the original, 2019’s Twilight Zone really needed to tackle issues that are less clear cut than men having a choice in their violent behavior or whether illegal immigrants deserve basic human rights, issues that are less overtly preachy because they’re less discussed.

For example, Point of Origin actually has the kernel of a complex and interesting idea in it, it just doesn’t do anything in it. In the episode as it is now the main character’s fall from grace serves largely as a kind of gotcha moment of the irony in how the tables have turned, but in a better version of the episode her arc could be used to explore the idea that social lines are largely arbitrary and fickle, and that whether you’re part of a group or not can change on a whim.

It’s an idea that’s worth examining the facets of, the causes and effects of how and why and where social lines are erected, and one that’s more complex than Point of Origin’s trite message about how you should treat immigrants like people. There’s more material there for an audience to chew on and engage with, and one that’s less preachy and more thought provoking.

Metaphor and Censorship

Another element that made the Twilight Zone successful and relevant in 1959 but doesn’t really apply today, is the issue of censorship. In 1959 what could be portrayed on screen, and which topics could be explored was far less permissive than it is today.

There’s an interview with Rod Sterling right before The Twilight Zone first aired where he talks about being tired of clashing with sponsors and executives over what content and social issues his screenplays could include. One example he brings up comes from a teleplay on the Nuremberg trials in which the company American Gas insisted on an edit:

“In it as you recall, mention was made of gas chambers. And the line was deleted, cut off the soundtrack. And it mattered little to these guys that the gas involved in concentration camps was cynanide which bore no resemblance physical or otherwise to the gas used in stoves. They cut the line.”

“Because the sponsor was-”

“They did not want that awful association made between what was the horror and misery of Nazi Germany with the nice chrome, wonderfully antiseciptically clean beautiful kitchen appliance that they were selling.”

But just as with the point about the lack of complexity in it’s themes, the new Twilight Zone exists in a different era than the original. We’re at a point in television and fiction where creators don’t have to bow as much to advertisers or censors and can actually just say what they mean. Point of Origin doesn’t need to veil it’s message about immigrants and their demonization in scifi terms; it could just tell a story about real world immigrants and refugees. This doesn’t mean it has to be bereft of weird elements, those still have a valid role to play, but it does mean it can address the issues it’s about head on and directly, and I’d argue there’s value in that kind of clarity.

Some people will make an argument that veiling issues in scifi metaphors lowers an audience member’s kneejerk defenses and lets them look at an issue stripped of their preconceptions and prejudices. And there’s certainly a tradition of creators using weird fiction to try and accomplish that.

Rod Sterling himself spoke about it in several interviews throughout his career, though he seems to have been somewhat split on the utility of using scifi metaphors. At one point he said about audiences:

“You may have to tell them a story of prejudice in parable form in which they may step aside as third persons and cluck how awful we treat our minority groups but at least they know that it’s an evil, and they will recognize it as such. And by osmosis or some incredible process will somewhere along the line, be faced with a situation in which they too may have to exorcise a prejudice and be conscious of it as an evil.”

“Now on Twilight Zone for example, we made a comment on prejudice, on conformity, on intolerance, on censorship, but it’s easy to do it when you’re talking about Buck Rogers isn’t allowed to write his memoirs in the way he wants to write them so he puts on his backpack, his rocket pack, and he zooms over to the publisher. And they applaud and laugh and think how interesting. Now it may well be that the inner message never gets through, but I think peripherally it does get through.”

But in that same interview Sterling also emphasizes the need for clarity, immediacy, and hitting the audience where they live when discussing social issues:

“I think the- the purpose, the point of a dramatic show that’s used as a vehicle of social criticism is to involve an audience, to show them wherein their guilt lies, or at least indeed their association.

This latter point is the one I think is more valid. I’d argue that veiling real world social issues through weird fiction metaphors to make audiences think is a nice sentiment, it’s not a particularly effective technique, and often the metaphor simply goes over people’s heads.

How many red-hatted build-a-wall-enthusiasts watched Point of Origin and thought to themselves after; “yeah, you know what, immigrants aren’t so bad and we shouldn’t round them up into concentration camps.” I’d argue none. It’s far, far too easy for an audience member to simply think that sure, in this case what happened was unfair, but this real world case is different for x y and z reasons, no matter how insignificant those x y z differences are to the core situation.

Fundamentally, people are simply very, very good at ignoring and minimizing information that destabilizes their world view, and it’s relatively simple to do it with fiction. And none of the new Twilight Zone episodes are pointed enough to break through that cognitive barrier.

Get Out (Or In...?)

What’s ironic, is that for all that Jordan Peele shows up in the new Twilight Zone, his own movie Get Out is a far more effective blueprint of what the Twilight Zone should be, and a good contrast to it. To begin with, the scifi concept at the heart of it, that there’s an enclave of rich white people stealing black people’s bodies for themselves, is a manifestation of a complex and nuanced form of racism that often isn’t acknowledged or discussed.

Racism is generally thought of as a simple dislike or belief in the inferiority of another race, and while that’s accurate as far as it goes, racism can also fetishize or simply allow for superior traits in the othered racial group while still denying the people themselves their agency and basic humanity. It’s a form of racism that was one of the bedrocks of slavery, that as an institution it perfectly paired black bodily strength with white intellect, and you can see a modern expression of it in how until recenly most quarterbacks are white while the offensive line black, the black members serving as the muscle to the quarterbacks mind.

The racism at the center of Get Out is a far more complex and nuanced than Point of Origin’s message about treating immigrants like people. It complicates most people’s understanding of racism as the simple belief that races that aren’t their own are inferior, and makes us question our complicity and assumptions: as much as we don’t think other races our worse than our own, are we as careful about how we assume parts of them may be better while still not valuing their core humanity?

At 144 minutes, Get Out also not only has enough time to explore this idea, but also to breathe and build to its twist and flesh out its main character. Unlike Not All Men’s main character, Get Out’s main character is a real and multifaceted person with weight and history, and goes through a coherent character arc. We never get a concrete reason for why Not All Men’s main character starts the episode meek, which makes her blurry and poorly defined: by contrast, we’re shown Get Out’s main character was traumatized by what he feels was his complicity in his mother’s death, which gives his eventual overcoming of it real emotional heft.

The alternate ending of Get Out even threads his emotional growth through the themes of racism: despite having his body imprisoned, the main character is mentally free, an inverse of the fate he would’ve suffered at the hands of the Armitage family. Here’s director Jordan Peele explaining the scene:

“He beat the dragon, but more importantly for Chris when he says ‘I beat it’ he’s talking about his inner demon. And that was the moment he went back for Georgina after hitting her in the car, he defeated his personal demon of when he didn’t go and get his mother. So in a way he made the only decision that would free his soul. And even though he’s in prison like many black men are unjustly in, his soul is free.”

Get Out also has the advantage of being in a genre that, just like the original Twilight Zone, isn’t oversaturated with serious political commentary. While there are smart and socially intelligent horror movies out there, many people still think of them as dumb fun, and thus Get Out can effectively draw you in with the promise of cheap thrill before sucker punching you with depth and message.

Get Out has clear cut right and wrong, it’s not like we don’t know who to root for and who is evil, but these three elements together, a complex theme, a real character, and low expectations, save Get Out from the preach fatigue I talked about before and from which the 2019 Twilight Zone suffers so heavily.

Ultimately, 2019’s Twilight Zone feels like an outdated show, stiff and limited and slow. Worse, it’s boring, which is really the greatest sin. It’s stuck in an uncomfortable limbo both in terms of era and length; it’s mired in the past trying to emulate a tv show that’s sixty years old at this point while also upending its structure and replacing it with one that’s incompatible with what it’s trying to imitate.

#twilight zone #2019 twilight zone #new twilight zone #get out #jordan peele

12 notes · View notes

green-eyeddragonfanfiction · 6 years

Text

The Way I Do: Chapter 5

Pairing: Centurion!Bucky x Visigothi!Reader Summary: Your search for a way to gather intelligence leads you to an unlikely place and even more unlikely people. Still, this opportunity is the best you could find and Centurion Stark and his servant Jarvis seem like almost-trustworthy people… too bad they’re Romans. You settle in nicely, although your boss is practically a ghost. Even after working for him for weeks, you haven’t seen him once. Warnings: Sexism, mild violence Word Count: ~3,833 A/N: For @killmongerdreams‘ song roulette writing challenge. Cassia is your alias. ****

Masterlist // Previous Chapter // Next Chapter (Coming Soon)

Satisfied, Bucky left the note in front of the servant room’s door before shuffling like the dead to his room, collapsing onto his bed without so much as removing his sandals.

Tomorrow, he promised himself. I’ll find her tomorrow.

To your surprise, working at the estate wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. You were no stranger to housework and, although the house was bigger than anything you’d ever lived in before, it was surprisingly easy to clean.

You had a fairly typical routine. You’d wake up before the sun rose and head down to the markets. You had a frankly gratuitous amount of money to spend thanks to your new employer; this wasn’t even your pay, just money he gave you to purchase food and other items you might need for the house.

It was ridiculous.

But it meant you could buy fresh bread and fruit. Even meat, sometimes, if the butcher had anything. In the capital it was almost like there wasn’t a famine ravaging the hillsides. Emperor Pierce did everything to make sure his people were fed... the rich ones, at least.

After returning from the market you’d cook breakfast, leave B’s share outside his door, then eat whatever was left over. After that you’d clean, starting with the kitchen then moving to the other parts of the house; your room, the library, the stables out back, the garden, the entryway, the halls... then, finally, B’s room.

You’d been nervous at first that he’d be in there, but it became clear pretty soon that he stayed out nearly all day and sometimes some of the night. You didn’t know how he managed to sneak out every single time after eating breakfast, but it had been two weeks and you hadn’t seen heads or tails of him.

It was like serving a ghost.

It wasn’t as though you never heard from him, though. He left letters for you almost daily. Each one was similarly kind, soft spoken, and a tinge witty. He asked you polite questions that you nervously responded to and asked a few of your own, often feeling embarrassed and pleased at his responses.

Liking the Centurion you needed to spy on hadn’t been part of the plan, but here you were, re-reading his letters again and again like a lovesick child.

I’m sorry I was gone all day again today. It’s truly improper of me to not have introduced myself in person by now. You’ve done a wonderful job of taking care of the house... I think you could give Jarvis a run for his money (though please don’t tell him I said that, he’d never let me live it down). Breakfast was delicious. Thank you. -B

Please don’t worry. I know you’re very busy. I won’t let Edwin know what you said. I fear he’d take it as a personal insult. Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you, please. -Cassia

I’m horrible. I really am on very important business, or I would be home at decent hours. Please don’t wait up for me. I could not stand the thought of thrusting my burdens on your shoulders in any way. Allow me to make it up to you by giving you a tour of the palace one day? You said you always wanted to see it in person in your last letter. It’s the least I can do. -B

You’re too kind, sir, but I dare not soil that sacred place with my presence. It is for people greater than I to visit. Also, I won’t wait up, but perhaps I can leave dinner out for you to eat? Something that won’t spoil easily? Please don’t be stressed about staying out, either. I trust that you are not simply avoiding me. -Cassia P.S. What does the “B” stand for?

I’m a fool. I can’t believe I never wrote my name out. Why did you let me sign “B” for weeks and just accept it? Sorry, no, that’s unfair. You’re not exactly in a position to demand things from me. That was selfish of me to say. I thought Tony had told you my full name so I didn’t even think about signing B. Barnes. You can call me Barnes. Also, yes. Dinner sounds good. -Barnes

You knew that name. Everyone knew that name. It was the name of the Dread Centurion, the man as cold as winter and so deadly he was rumored to not exist at all. He started life out in the coliseum of Rome and, when he managed to stay defending champion after an entire year, Pierce conscripted him specifically for his army. He didn’t command troops as often as other Centurions did, but Romans and outsiders alike feared his name.

Was this the same Barnes? It didn’t seem possible. The man you’d been communicating with for weeks was almost shy and unmistakably kind. Nothing like the rumors.

Maybe you had the wrong man?

I’m glad I have a name to attach to the script, Centurion Barnes. Perhaps one day soon I’ll have a face to put to the name? I jest, sir. It’s actually easier to clean the house without you about. Feel no rush to return home hastily. -Cassia

Just Barnes is fine, Cassia. I don’t much like my title anyway. Perhaps I should just stay away altogether, then? Give you more time with the company you bring home while I’m out? -Barnes

No! That’s not what I meant. I don’t bring anyone home! That would be a breach of your trust! Please believe me! Also, I’d be saddened if I didn’t receive your letters anymore. -Cassia

Oh my, it seems my jest was taken to heart. I’m sorry, I don’t make jokes very often anymore. I’m afraid I’ve lost the knack I had for them. I have no doubt you’ve not brought anyone home. I would have noticed. Additionally, I’ve come to very much enjoy our letters back and forth and would miss them, too. -Barnes

Those were the most personable letters, though he managed to slip small flirtations in here and there between comments on the food and state of the house. You talked about the city on occasion. He gave you the locations of different shops that you never would have found on your own. You learned at least ten new recipes that earned you rave reviews from the reclusive man.

Whenever you cleaned his room you’d check for any documents that could give you a clue as to the Roman’s war plans, but never wanted to move things around. If there was one thing you were sure of it was that he really could tell if anyone had touched anything in his room that they weren’t supposed to.

Still, the things he left out were few and far between and helped little in the way of gathering intelligence for your people. At some point you’d have to search his things and hope for the best.

A lucky break came two and a half weeks after you moved into the manor. A courier arrived in the middle of the day just after you finished hanging the laundry out to dry. Barnes received mail sometimes while he was away, but to your surprise this specific letter was addressed to you.

For a split second you were worried one of your people had been stupid enough to send you a letter, but you quickly recognized the handwriting as Barnes’.

You thanked the courier who quickly scampered away down the frozen street and ripped into the letter, the door shutting heavily behind you.

Your eyes scanned the letter quickly, your heart rate picking up with each word.

Cassia, I know you said you didn’t think you were fit to step foot in the palace (which is absurd, just so you know. You’re a better person than nearly all the people here), but I’m afraid I must ask a favor of you. I left some important documents in my room that I’ll require later today, but I haven’t the time to go back and retrieve them. I don’t trust anyone else to go searching through my room. Would you please bring them to the palace for me? They’re in the bottom right drawer of my desk. It has a keyhole but it’s not locked, worry not. You can use my satchel to carry them. Also, take my sigil with you. Show it to anyone who would try to stop or hurt you. I don’t much appreciate my reputation most days, but if it can protect you then I suppose it’s not all bad. It will also give you access to the palace. I know this is a lot to ask of you. I’m sorry. Please hurry. -Barnes

You stared at the letter and read it over two more times, just to make sure your eyes weren’t fooling you. This was everything you needed and more. A centurion’s important documents that would be needed for a meeting at the palace? He was essentially handing them to you. You wouldn’t even have to sneak around to get a peek at them.

Not believing your luck you ran to your room and shirked your cleaning clothes for the nicest outfit you had and practically flew to Barnes’ room. You grabbed the satchel off the wall and trotted excitedly over to his desk, immediately opening the bottom right drawer and pulling out the thick stack of parchments.

You carefully kept them in order as you flicked through them, hardly daring to believe your eyes. Battle plans. Formations. Maps of the countryside. Weapon stores. Resource tallies.

This was the entire Roman army in a pile of paper.

Barnes trusted you with these.

And you would betray that trust.

The thought made your stomach turn uncomfortably, but when you imagined the looks on your people’s faces as they sold their children and loves ones into slavery... you found the will to steel yourself, commit as much as you could to memory (you wouldn’t leave written proof of your duplicity), and shoved them resolutely into the bag.

Right before you turned to leave, something shiny caught the light and you found your attention drawn to it. A small metal kite shield no bigger than your palm with ornately carved edges and a blood red star in the middle sat on the dark wood desk.

Barnes’ sigil.

You shoved it in the bag next to the papers then turned and stalked out of the room.

You blew out every lamp but the one attached to the outside of the doorway as you bustled your way outside. You squinted at the sun high in the sky; it must have been getting close to midday, judging by its position. With one last look at the bag slung over your shoulder, you speed-walked your way to the palace as nonchalantly as you could.

It was cold. You wished fervently that your robe had at least 5 more layers and that you were wearing boots instead of sandals. Roman fashion was stupid. You may have been from the north, but an entire spring, summer, and fall had made you too accustomed to weather in the Empire.

You wobbled up the steps and were both annoyed and unsurprised when the guard at the top of the stairs stopped you. “What business have you here, woman?” he asked, glaring down his nose at you.

You rummaged around in your bag and pulled out Barnes’ sigil, smiling smugly when the guard visibly paled. “I’m here to deliver something important to Centurion Barnes. Where is he?” you asked, all sly sugary sweetness.

The guard stood up just a little straighter. “I don’t rightly know, miss. He’s been in and out of meeting with Emperor Pierce and the other Centurions for hours now. The war room is two doors down on the right side, but women aren’t allowed in there. You may have to wait if they’re in session.”

Hell, they’re already planning. I pray my people are ready.

You glared at him. “I hope I won’t have to wait long. I don’t think Centurion Barnes would like being kept waiting because you couldn’t tell me of his location.”

The guard nearly quailed under the implied threat as he yanked open the tall door. “Go ahead, miss. I would help you more but I don’t know where he is. Swear on my life.”

You glared at him once more before you brushed past him and into the palace, trying not to gawk too much at the beautifully decorated interior. If it was stunning on the outside it was downright breathtaking on the inside.

You must have gotten too distracted because when you looked up you realized you’d wandered into a hallway and when you turned back around you could no longer see the grand entryway you’d come in from.

You bit your lip nervously. “Well, here goes nothing,” you whispered, pushing open the nearest door to you. It occurred to you fleetingly that you had no idea what Barnes looked like. For all the rumor about him, very little information remained on him besides his alleged body count and ruthless efficiency.

The room was empty and the door was mercilessly silent as it swung open.

“Hello?” you asked tentatively, just in case.

When you didn’t get a response you took a few steps forward and froze when you realized what you’d walked in on.

There, on the large silk-laden table in front of you, was a map of the Roman Empire and surrounding lands. Thanks to Natalia and Clinton’s lessons, you were able to read the military pieces at a glance. You could see where they were amassing to attack your people. Where their generals were. Where there reserves were. How many they’d have left to guard the capital. The papers in your bag hinted at this, but this was proof. Their attack wasn’t that far off, though you could tell this was still in the planning stages. More than likely, the bulk of their force was still in the capital.

You took a few more steps forward, eyes glued to the display in front of you as you drank in as much information as you could.

You didn’t hear someone else come in the room.

You did, however, feel when they grabbed you by the shoulder and flung you around until you faced them.

“What the hell are you doing in here, woman? Who let you in?” he spat, his face contorted with fury. His dark brown eyes looked murderous and you knew at once you were dead. You wouldn’t make it out of this alive. “Speak!” he roared, lifting you by the neck and throwing you out the door like you were a rag doll.

It was a small miracle he didn’t break your neck and that you didn’t lose consciousness upon hitting the cold marble floor, but your body was still reeling and all you could do was gasp for air through your bruised throat as he stalked towards you. “I should kill you where you stand! Who sent you, witch?” he bellowed, booted foot coming to rest on your stomach, pinning you helplessly to the ground.

All that training with Natalia and what good did it do you?

He reached down and yanked the bag off of you, ripping the strap and leaving bruises as it pulled against your body. It only took one glance inside to see you were carrying sensitive documents.

Your fate was sealed. This man would be your executioner, no deliberation needed.

He pulled out Barnes’ sigil and stared at it for only a second before he returned his attention to you.

“You dare try to steal secrets of the Roman Empire?” He slid is sword from its sheath and leveled it at your face. “The punishment for that is death! By the name of Emperor Alexander Pierce, I-”

“What on earth is going on out here?” came a new voice from a door down the hall. Your attacker turned his attention to the newcomer, frown not budging at all.

You froze, however, hardly daring to believe your ears. You knew that voice.

You turned your head as best you could in your position and laid eyes on none other than James.

Oh god, what is he doing here?

Please help me.

Why are you wearing military clothing?

Why isn’t this man shaking his sword at you, too?

Please help me.

I’m who you think I am, but I don’t want to die.

I’ll run away from this god-forsaken city and never look back.

Just.

Please save me.

All those thoughts and more were written across your face and in your eyes as you stared into James’ ice blue eyes.

Your attacker spoke up before either of you could. He held up Barnes’ sigil and motioned to you with it then to James. “Why does she have your sigil, Barnes?” he said, deadly calm.

And all at once your thoughts came grinding to a halt.

Wait, what?

Bucky’s POV

His first thought was I found her! The woman!

But then he saw his satchel in Valens’ hands along with his sigil, and the pieces clicked together instantly.

Cassia. You were Cassia. Probably had been all along. How else could you have stayed hidden the whole time? You were in the one place he didn’t think to look for you: his own home.

But now the situation was pointed south for both of you. If you came forth as a spy now, he would be incriminated along with you. You had his papers and his sigil. Even one of the imbecilic city guard could put that together.

No, his fate was sealed to yours now. Pierce trusted Valens too much to dismiss his words amidst the proof Valens had.

So now he had to make sure both of you got away with your heads still attached to your shoulders.

“Why does she have your sigil, Barnes?” Valens asked in that calm tone that always reminded Bucky of the time just before a lightning storm.

“Why shouldn’t my betrothed carry my sigil?” Bucky countered, staring down his nose at Valens.

He saw you go completely still out of the corner of his eye and he willed that you wouldn’t give anything away. Both of your lives depended on it. Valens looked suddenly dubious. “Your betrothed? I’ve not heard of this, nor have I seen her before.”

“Remove your boot, Valens,” Bucky snarled, eyes flashing dangerously.

Valens hastened to remove his foot from your stomach and looked more unsure by the second. “Barnes-”

“I asked her to bring me my papers, Valens,” Bucky spat, stalking towards the two of you. Valens took a step back and drew himself up to his full height, though he still barely came up to Bucky’s shoulders. “And you’ve not seen her before because I don’t like to share what’s mine,” he said dangerously as he bent down to pick you up carefully. You were tense in his arms but thankfully didn’t struggle or argue with what he was saying. At least you had survival instincts.

Though he doubted very much that you hadn’t realized by now he was much more dangerous than Valens.

Valens looked more like a rat caught in a cage than a warrior at this point. “She said nothing about any of that, Barnes,” he said defensively. “I thought she was a spy.”

Barnes glared at him. “Get out of here, Valens, before I kill you for the slight on her honor.”

Valens’ jaw worked dangerously but eventually he turned and walked away, grumbling discontentedly the whole way.

When it was only the two of you left in the hallway Bucky set you down perhaps a bit more harshly than he had to. “What are you doing here?” he asked, eyes narrowed to dangerous slits.

You looked surprised and rubbed your neck tenderly. “Yes, I suppose I deserve that, don’t I? In my defense, I didn’t know you were a centurion at the time! Gods, I’m such a fool! I barely even apologized. You didn’t get hurt, did you?” you rasped, throat still sore.

Bucky stared at you blankly for a moment, brain struggling to register what you were saying. “What... are you talking about?” he hissed, confusion lining his features.

You looked nervous and shifted from foot to foot. “When I ran into you all those weeks ago in pursuit of a thief... Centurion Barnes, sir,” you said as though you suddenly realized you were in his presence. “I didn’t know I would be working for you, sir, when Centurion Stark hired me. I never did catch your name, exactly, and, well...”

“You haven’t seen me,” Bucky said flatly, hardly daring to believe what was happening. The woman he’d been searching for all along was sleeping two doors down from him. Cooking him breakfast in the morning. Cleaning his house. Gods, washing his underclothes.

And she was a spy. He was sure of it, no matter how convincing a fool she played. He knew of the Gothi’s tricks.

But he could no longer let you go free. Not with the information you’d gleaned from his work and the war table. The war would be over before it began.

So it was better to go with the lie. He had to keep an eye on you all the time, and what better way than...

“Marry me,” he said, turning his sun-bright smile on you- the one he hadn’t used since before he was sent to Rome.

“What?” you squawked, eyes almost bugging out of your head. The sight would have made him laugh under normal conditions.

“You heard me,” he said, smirking playfully at you.

He watched as you deliberated and tried to find any way to work your way out of it. “But... we hardly know each other,” you said hoarsely.

“And if we do not marry Valens will tell the Emperor what he saw here today and we will both be executed for treason,” he said calmly. You stared up at him, shocked, but he continued with a smile. “I’ve been looking for you every day, you know. Ever since you knocked me over. It’s what I’ve been doing night and day. Looking for the woman who quite literally swept me off my feet.” It wasn’t a total lie, but he’d been searching for you for much, much longer than that.

You looked away in embarrassment and if he wasn’t mistaken a pleased smile had worked its way onto your lips.

Bucky wondered if it was real.

“I don’t even know your first name,” you whispered shyly.

Yes you do, he thought to himself. “James,” he said with a smile.

You finally looked up at him and Bucky felt his heart skip a beat. Faked or no, you looked so cute just then he could barely handle it. “Then yes, James Barnes. I’d like very much to marry you.”

Next Chapter (Coming Soon)

If you’d like to be tagged in this series, like this post! Sorry, but responses to this post asking to be tagged will be ignored, so send me an ask or like one of the taglist posts!

☕ Buy Me a Coffee! ☕

#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #Winter Soldier #winter soldier x reader #the way I do #marvel fanfiction #visigothi!reader #centurion!bucky

85 notes · View notes

alexsprincessparty · 6 years

Text

Oh Boy, What a Week

Disney is a lot like Survivor in the way that "just when you think you know what's going on, you have no idea what's going on." (Shoutout to Sebastian from Survivor: Ghost Island...) A company can campaign all it wants about inspiring young girls to Dream Big, Princess while its men (both in the company and within its fandom) get away with belittling women and girls of all ages. Just this week, it was announced that John Lasseter would step down from his role of Principal Creative Advisor, following allegations of sexual misconduct from numerous women he's worked with. Earlier in the week, newly-minted Star Wars star Kelly Marie Tran disappeared from Instagram following overwhelming harassment from angry male Star Wars fans. As this is a Disney blog that discusses gender-focused issues (especially surrounding females), I feel compelled to discuss these issues as a kind of break from Princess discussion, as Disney Princesses are just one facet of so-called Disney Feminism. What happens in our films is one thing, but we still need to focus on what is happening around us, behind the scenes and off the page.

Monsters, Inc, or, the Scary Stuff Behind Pixar's Closed Doors

Let's begin with Lasseter. John Lasseter is best known as one of the co-founders of Pixar Animation Studios, the studio that brought us Toy Story, Finding Nemo, and Cars. Up until recently, he was Chief Creative Officer at Walt Disney Animation Studios (Wreck-It Ralph, Frozen, Moana) as well as DisneyToon Studios (DuckTales, Planes), as well as Principal Creative Director of Walt Disney Imagineering. So, naturally, we all associate Lasseter with his achievements and creations (as well as his trademark Hawaiian shirts). In late 2017, just days before the theatrical release of Disney-Pixar's Coco, Lasseter came under fire for sexual misconduct towards several female employees. Numerous women came out in protest of Lasseter, claiming the 61-year-old Disney head had repeatedly tried to kiss other female employees on the mouth without their consent, give very lengthy and inappropriate hugs (particularly with the actresses of the Disney Fairies franchise), touch inappropriately (one employee stated he would rub her leg under the table at meetings), and make comments about employees' appearances. This led to an apologetic statement from Lasseter, who subsequently took a six-month sabbatical from Disney, after which he will take on a lesser role before leaving for good this December. As I said, Lasseter is renowned for his art and his leadership, as well as his innovative contributions to the animation medium. Rightfully so. 1995's Toy Story, directed by Lasseter, was the first-ever feature film to be animated completely in 3D animation. Pixar specialized in this medium, but Walt Disney Animation Studios would not give it a shot for itself until 2005's Chicken Little, just before Lasseter took over WDAS. Today, nearly every Disney animated feature since 2010's Tangled has been animated in CGI. Lasseter and Pixar blew the door wide open on CGI animation, which dominates the animation industry today, Disney or otherwise. Add that to the work he's done as a writer or producer on films as early as The Fox and The Hound, through the Disney Renaissance, numerous Studio Ghibli classics, all the way up to the upcoming sequels to Wreck-It Ralph, Frozen, and Toy Story--the film that put his company on the map. These are all great accomplishments, but are they really worth putting over the basic needs of security and safety for women in the workplace? Should we really excuse habitual predators and violators based solely on the fact that they're great artists, actors, athletes, musicians? Perhaps it's best left to an individual basis, as some people are better at separating art from artist. For example, I love Toy Story. It is indeed a revolutionary film, a well-written one, and incredibly memorable. In fact, I love a lot of the work Lasseter has done with Disney, and Disney-Pixar. That said, while I cannot put myself in the shoes of the women he affected, I won't simply forgive him because of how much I loved WALL-E. It doesn't work like that. So then, why are so many supporters of the #MeToo movement quick to initiate boycotts of someone's work after these allegations come out? Great question. It's as simple as cutting off a supply, so to speak. Since the allegations against Lasseter came out just before Coco's release, some had planned to boycott the film in protest of Lasseter (which I don't recommend, because 1. a loooooot of other people worked on that film, and 2. it's the only feature film Disney has produced around Mexican culture that also features Hispanic voice talent). What it says is, "if you hurt or violate other women, we will no longer support you." The accused no longer have that supply. It could be a financial supply, an emotional supply of "but you're still so great though!" or "it's okay because I'll still be up at the Oscars/Golden Globes/Annies this year anyway." That, again, is probably best left to an individual basis, that is, you do what you feel is right.

For example, T.J. Miller very quickly lost favor with me after he came under fire for numerous actions (including violence, transphobia, and also calling in a fake bomb threat! A piece of work, this one), yet still, I saw Deadpool 2...mostly because Ryan Reynolds and Zazie Beetz. And Yukio. (Hi, Yukio.)

If Disney wants to continue to promise a safe workplace environment for women, then it has to commit to punishing violators within its doors, no matter how high on the food chain they are. Nobody should be "too big to fail." Misogyny: A Star Wars Story

You could argue that Star Wars has declined in quality since Disney's acquisition of Lucasfilm in the early-to-mid 2010s. Perhaps it got too...you know, Disney. Too soft? Maybe. Too predictable? Yeah, sure, I could see that. But the most common scapegoats for this tend to be not Disney, and not Lucasfilm. Not even J.J. Abrams, or Rian Johnson, or Ron Howard.

Nope. It's the women. Earlier in the week, actress Kelly Marie Tran suddenly disappeared from Instagram amid a flurry of hateful comments from angry Star Wars fans. Tran made her Star Wars debut in last year's polarizing eighth installment, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, as Resistance tech Rose Tico. Since the film's release, many have criticized and questioned the need for Rose, as well as Tran's talents as an actress, in addition to her appearance. I know. Surprise. Granted, a lot of post-Disney Star Wars has seen its fair share of criticism, and it's normal to criticize cinema, regardless of how much you like it. However, I have to point out a glaring pattern with some recent Star Wars gripes. A lot of issues, particularly with male Star Wars fans, are with its new streak of female protagonists. Rey. Jyn Erso. Rose Tico. Maz Kanata. Captain Phasma. Qi'ra. Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo. These are just a portion of the cinematic female characters introduced by Lucasfilm since its acquisition by Disney, many of which have been panned by the saga's male fanbase not only as "useless" or "boring," but also "pandering to women because representation/SJWs/libtards/[insert buzzword here]!" While I think all those characters invite their own well-deserved criticisms. However, simply blaming the new films' failures on the fact that they have female protagonists? Sounds fake, but okay. "Rey is the hero? But Finn was holding the lightsaber in the trailer! WTF is this?" You didn't complain about Poe Dameron essentially being the new Han Solo. "Captain Phasma is a waste of space! She didn't do anything!" Boba Fett though? "Rose stole Finn's heroic moment, what a bitch!" BECAUSE WE'RE NOT FIGHTING THE THINGS WE HATE, WE'RE SAVING THINGS WE LOVE, KEVIN "Jyn Erso is such a flat character, why is it all about women now?" Because maybe, just maybe, it would be awesome for female fans of Star Wars to see other females in Star Wars. Sounds pretty novel if you ask me. This seems to be a long-running problem with Star Wars. In fact, Tran is not the only Star Wars lady bullied off Instagram by overzealous male fans. Only a few years ago, Rey herself, Daisy Ridley, suffered the same fate and still hasn't returned to the website (honestly? Probably for the best). You can't claim that just because Emilia Clarke, Gwendoline Christie, Lupita Nyong'o, and Laura Dern haven't buckled as well, that Tran and Ridley are "sissies" and not oppressed. Believe me, they are (Clarke and Christie probably deal with this crap as Game of Thrones stars as well so they're probably just used to it). "But we didn't harass Carrie Fisher!" You reduced Princess Leia to a metal bikini until Disney intervened and conveniently forgot about it when it came to merchandising.

Again, you can argue that Disney is ruining Star Wars. I might even agree. But it's not because they keep utilizing female protagonists. In fact, Disney's only Star Wars film with a male protagonist, Solo: A Star Wars Story, has been the least profitable of the Disney/Lucasfilm era. That's not to say the male protagonist was to blame, of course. Personally, I think the problem is Star Wars fatigue, that is, Disney oversaturating us with Star Wars to the point where we just can't take it anymore. But yeah, go ahead and blame the women, sure. Clearly it has been an interesting week for female Disney fans. Some good, some bad. But, hakuna matata, I guess. The world still sucks. But remember the Fairy Godmother's words: "Even miracles take a little time." (I don't remember if she actually said this, but there's a lot of cute Tumblr gifs of her saying it, so she must have said it, right?) I'll be swimming back this way soon for The Little Mermaid, so hang tight. I've just got some bigger fish to fry at the moment. Dream Big Princess!

#disney #star wars #pixar #kelly marie tran #rose tico #john lasseter #metoo #i am really going there today aren't i

2 notes · View notes

mubal4 · 5 years

Photo

The Journal Journey Part 28

Early morning Saturday and wanted to put something out. What better way to reflect on a quite morning than taking another walk through the journal journey? This entry is from February 19, 2017. Can’t help but sit here and think that it was a cold, rainy day back in PA & now, reflecting on things from back then, it is about 530am and 80 degrees in Phoenix, AZ 😊. Away we go!!

- “Failure is just another way to intelligently begin again.” – This was a quote by Henry Ford, said when he was likely trying to build the Model-T Ford many, many years ago. How often did he “fail?” How about Thomas Edison? He went through thousands of attempts creating the light bulb and felt that each time he “failed” he just found another way, NOT to make the light bulb. Perspective, right? Mindset? There was another saying I remember; it was by Jack Canfield in some of his audios that I have listened to over the years. He said, “we are constantly lying to ourselves.” He was referring to a lesson he was trying to impart on one of his students. She was trying to lose weight and struggling. There was a list of strategies he was coaching her on but the one that is relevant to the sentence above was, he instructed her to write her ideal weight on a piece of paper & tape it to her scale. She had a digital scale, so it was in that same text, so, when she stepped on the scale each morning it read her ideal weight. She was skeptical and that is when he said, “we are constantly lying to ourselves.” “I am too fat. I am too old. I am too slow. I am not good enough.” It goes on and on and it is all bullshit. We do constantly lie to ourselves. What if we just turn that mindset, or that perspective around; like Jack was doing with this student? Would our progress be different? Would we see our setbacks as failures or as points of learning or growth?

- “It is not the thought; it is the feeling that goes with it.” – Interestingly enough, this one was by Jack Canfield and I didn’t realize it until I just read it 😊. Love the way this energy works and how things flow!! Anyway, I believe this is a great quote and so true. We have talked about this before on here and, we have no control of our thoughts and what percolates in our minds. We do have control of what we do with it, how those thoughts impact us, and what we feel about them. We have the ability to NOT let our thoughts control us and that is what I believe he is speaking about. I’ve experienced this a lot this past week with all the tragedy that has been going on in our country with the shootings, violence, etc. You come across all this shit that is happening, I can’t control the thoughts of, God forbid, my wife or daughter’s being in one of those situations. What if I were in one of those situations? I think this is normal behavior but maybe I am a weirdo (see lying to myself 😊). Those thoughts enter my mind and when they do, I do acknowledge them, note them, and then move on. I don’t dwell on it; actually, I have a moment of gratitude and say that I am thankful we are not in that situation and pray for those that are. I think that is the best way for me to deal with it and move past it. Do those situations scare me? Absolutely but the thoughts don’t control me.

- These next few are from Joshua Medcalf and are all together. I will list them and then put my thoughts together on them. No particular order just see what comes to my mind and fingertips!

o “Operate with a perpetual heart posture of gratitude.”

o “Commit to control the controllables.”

o “Patiently and perpetually chop wood carry water.”

o “Trust God.”

o “Trust the process.”

These may sound familiar because I have referred to them often. I have read many of Joshua’s books and have had the fortunate opportunity to attend his coaching retreats. There are many lessons he has taught me and those listed above are some of them. We’ve talked about gratitude in this entry and many prior. It is extremely powerful and helps me put many things into perspective. Sometimes it is hard to draw upon it, especially when I have that victim mentally but it does work, pretty easily when you simply think about small things you are grateful for; me, it is simply the health, well-being and safety of my family. It could be clean drinking water, air to breath, light to see, etc. I say these things, many times out loud and it helps me process, or move through the moment of struggle and challenge; or those times when tragedy is happening. We talked about not letting our thoughts control us; “control the controllables” as Joshua outlined. This is something I have struggled with over the years, especially when it comes to guiding my daughters. I know I have failed them in this area many times because, as a father, I want to protect them and keep them safe. In reality, I have control over what I teach them and lessons I can share with them. I don’t have control on what resonates with them and what they end up using. All I can do is provide the wisdom; it is up to them to use it. That is where “Trust God” and “Trust the process” come into play. There is another saying I learned from Joshua and his team, “Trust Your Training.” They are all along the same lines. In the example with my daughters, for all of us raising kids but for all of us living this life, whatever it is we are working towards, for me, it is raising my daughters to be great adults and, taking the lessons I’ve learned through this journey, sharing with them my struggles, my failures, all the lessons I’ve learned from those failures and so many great coaches; giving them wisdom to them and then trusting that they will figure it out. Not saying that the wisdom I have is right for them but there are certainly nuggets that they could use. Providing them a guide, a map so to speak, to maybe offer some answers or ideas. At that point, that is when prayer and trust in God comes into play. The last one we didn’t hit on is “patiently and perpetually chop wood carry water.” Show up each day, no matter how boring and not sexy the work may be, stay consistent and persistent at your craft and eventually you will master it. If you haven’t read Joshua’s book, “Chop Wood Carry Water,” I suggest it because it digs deep into these lessons. We get so obsessed with results we forget about the journey. We see those star athletes, entrepreneurs, and celebrities at their proudest moments, or their “winning” moments. What is not shown is how they worked their assess off, in the dark, when no one was looking, for years and years and years. That is the shit that got them to where they are today. Each day, showing up, staying consistent, being persistent, not quitting, grinding, and honoring your commitment each day…………even though it sucked.

- Didn’t note who said this but I do like it, “failure is an experience not an identity.” – We don’t recognize Thomas Edison as someone who failed thousands of times at inventing the light bulb. We see him as the inventor of the light bulb. None of us are failures; there are just things we failed at. There are things I fail at every day, small things mostly, but then there are those big things; but I am not a failure. We are not, or we shouldn’t be, defined as a failure because we were unable to do something we tried to do. I understand that our society tries to paint us into that corner, but you know what, screw society. We get to define who and what we are. We get to identify ourselves and no one else has that power.

“Surrender the outcome.”

#letgoletGod youidentifyyou gratitude letgoofresults relentlessfowardprogress LFRF

0 notes

cryptoriawebb · 7 years

Text

Remember how I said I was going to talk about The Mummy?

Well...now I am.

I lead a busy life and time got away from me, but I’m really passionate about my monsters--especially the classics--so I really wanted to sit down and share my thoughts.

I’ll confess up-front: when I think of The Mummy I don’t immediately go to Brendan Fraser and all his shenanigans. My first association takes me back to the tragedy of Imhotep, played by Boris Karloff, in 1932. I know I know, not nearly as publicized or mainstream today as the iconic Universal Dracula, Frankenstein and the Wolfman but there is something to be said for this film. It’s beautifully done, from the acting, to the sets to the makeup! Oh the makeup, I swear, 20th century horror makeup was in a world of its own. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m still impressed by the practical makeup today, the end results were just so impressive in a world where that’s all they had. No computer ad-ons, just hours and hours of application--and actor commitment, too...

Anyway.

I loved that movie, and I’m a little protective because it’s kind of been forgotten with the more popular remake/reimagined films from the 90s. And that’s fine, I know they’ve got a good reputation. But with talk of this new Dark Universe I was hoping, somehow in some way, I’d get to see threads of the original film I loved revive (My feelings on this Dark Universe in general are another matter entirely and at some point I will share them.) I know we can’t bring Karloff back from the dead but his spirit and the tone I had hope for.

Instead...

Okay. So, I’ll state again that I’m not an activist. Despite my biological makeup I’m not head-over-heels sold on a film just because they feature a female protagonist/villain in place of a male. Don’t get me wrong, a female mummy is a cool concept, especially with some historical legends regarding certain Egyptian queens. That said, if this is a new dark universe representing up-to-date versions of Universal’s classic monsters than I want to see the monsters I know, the monsters I love and have been inspired by from the 1930s. Not a new story with a new, female character thrown in there to filter the mass-male-majority of the characters. I’m sorry, but preservation is more important to me than female representation. There are other female characters (Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula’s daughter or hell, Carmilla) that you could easily add.

That said (provided I haven’t chased anyone away) let’s continue.

In one of the theatres I frequent there was an ad for a few months about the new movie, and I squealed when I saw Karloff’s face pop up on screen. I genuinely thought Universal forgot about that old movie, despite the cafe they have in their Florida park. The featurette itself was actually admittedly cool but my mixed feelings clashed because again, my mummy is Imhotep, not...whatever this new one’s name is. That’s who I wanted to see in this Dark Universe...but as a standalone I had to admit it looked really cool. So does Sofia Boutella as an undead queen. Like really, no one get me wrong it DID look great. And I did want to see it. I even went so far as to suck up my rigid stigma and try accepting that, if she were to be our Mummy in this new world, there wasn’t anything I could do and perhaps she would still do justice to the horror of old.

So when I found out how poorly this film did I was pretty darn upset. It’s no surprise, really...not because of Sofia or a female mummy, but, I don’t know...I’ve read a few reviews, although I maintain I’m going to ignore them should I see this movie myself, and what I’ve said also doesn’t surprise me. I wish it did, and now my hopes seem kind of...overinflated in hindsight. I’m just attached to my monsters and tend to get emotional regarding them. But of course, Hollywood today would forget what it was that made these films classic. What’s the old saying “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?” Instead, they take these old concepts and characters (or reimagined characters) and pepper them instead with plots they think will sell to the modern audience (and which, surprise surprise, don’t actually work these days.) Fast-paced action, sex appeal, gruesome imagery and jump scares (hypothesizing this last part), as well as the supposed sex appeal of Boutella and if I also had to guess some kind of pull towards Cruise’s character.

Ah Cruise...the icing on the ill-fated cake. I often joke that the Mission Impossible sequels exist strictly to keep him working. It’s awful but I can’t remember the...oh wait, Edge of Tomorrow (or whatever they decided to call it) did fairly well. So one exception. He just has a track record it seems of starring in less than successful movies. Kind of like Depp...take him out of the Pirates universe (take Cruise out of Mission Impossible) and they’re suddenly out of their element, performing for a different audience that hasn’t nostalgic ties (with, again, the rare exception. I maintain Black Mass and Disney’s 2010 Alice exceeded expectations for Depp.)

When will Hollywood realize they need to sit back and LOOK at what sold the original movies? What really sold them and why they remain memorable? When will they understand go-to formulas don’t work? This should not be how a new universe, a universe introducing these monsters in some form to a new audience, should begin. I get it, there’s a push to be like Marvel and the X-men films...I just didn’t think Universal needed that rush. they have almost a hundred years of monster history to analyze and work with. That’s a long, long time. And they have seen success in the past on a different level, if we look at the Monster High doll line which I know was a joint effort between Universal and Mattel. If you try something unique more often than not you’re going to find more success. You can cut the trailers along typical lines or sell it in a compelling way but for heaven’s sake, don’t start off something new with something so stale it may as well be a chunk of concrete.

You can’t pave a road with one little chunk. Or multiple chunks. You’ve got to plan ahead, really understand what’s going into the formula and make sure it’s secure before you lay the groundwork. Otherwise you’ll sooner tear it up.

I thought at first Dracula Untold was the start of this Universe and after this Mummy fiasco I really wish it had been. Not the best film but enough I would buy Luke Evans as Dracula and be willing to follow him into a crossover story. But my gosh, a 17% (as it was when I last checked) is a terrible start. I’m afraid to see how they’ll interpret Frankenstein and my Vampire Guy. I don’t want to see them murdered on-screen before someone drives in the stake.

This isn’t how you honor your history, Universal. Or the stars, the crew, that put you on the map.

Maybe we’ll get lucky and something like Wonder Woman will occur, like it has in the DC Expanded Universe...otherwise....at least we’ll always have the classics.

#the mummy #the mummy 2017 #the dark universe #dracula untold #dracula #frankenstein #boris karloff #universal studios #whispersfromthecrypt

5 notes · View notes

marcusssanderson · 6 years

Text

100 Quotes About Change That Will Inspire You To Live Better

Looking for inspirational quotes about change? Here are some of our favorite change quotes that will help improve your life!

What is it about change that is so hard? Even for the strongest and most self-disciplined of us, it does not come easy.

We change for many reasons, because we need to change, because we want to change, and because it is the right thing to do. What gives us the courage to have the strength and courage to make real and lasting change?

To help make your life better, below is our collection of inspirational, wise, and insightful change quotes, change sayings, and change proverbs, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

Change Quotes for Life, Love and the Art of Letting Go

1.) The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking. ― Albert Einstein

2.) “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

― Rumi

3.) “One day spent with someone you love can change everything.”

― Mitch Albom, For One More Day

4.) “True life is lived when tiny changes occur.”

― Leo Tolstoy 5.) Your success in life isn’t based on your ability to simply change. It is based on your ability to change faster than your competition, customers, and business.

― Mark Sanborn

6.) “We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”

― Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?

7.) “Let him who would move the world first move himself.”

― Socrates

8.) “But you’re so busy changing the world

Just one smile can change all of mine”

― Jack Johnson

9.) “You can’t stop the future

You can’t rewind the past

The only way to learn the secret

…is to press play.”

― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

Change Quotes About Life

10.) Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

― Margaret Mead

11.) Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.

― Arnold Bennett

12.) “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

― Lao Tzu

13.) “Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.”

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

14.) “No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come out the other side.

Or you don’t.”

― Stephen King, The Stand

15.) If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

― Maya Angelou

16.) “Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”

― William Jennings Bryan

17.) “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”

― Brené Brown

18.) “Sure, everything is ending,” Jules said, “but not yet.”

― Jennifer Egan, A Visit from the Goon Squad

19.) “Nothing is as painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.”

― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

Quotes About Change In the World

20.) Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

― Mahatma Gandhi

21.) Change is inevitable. Change is constant.

― Benjamin Disraeli

22.) “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

23.) Just Because…..“Fashion changes, but style endures.”

― Coco Chanel

24.) “If you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly. But it’s still worth it.”

― C.S. Lewis

25.) I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.

― Mother Teresa

26.) “Believe something and the Universe is on its way to being changed. Because you’ve changed, by believing. Once you’ve changed, other things start to follow. Isn’t that the way it works?”

― Diane Duane, So You Want to Be a Wizard

27.) “Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape. ”

― William S. Burroughs

28.) “If you want to change attitudes, start with a change in behavior.”

― Katharine Hepburn

29.) “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

― Nelson Mandela

Quotes About Change and choices

30.) Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.

― John Kenneth Galbraith

31.) When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.

― Benjamin Franklin

32.) “Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”

― Barack Obama

33.) “I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.”

― Aldous Huxley, Point Counter Point

34.) “Things changed, people changed, and the world went rolling along right outside the window.”

― Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle

35.) The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance. -Nathaniel Branden

36.) “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

― Wayne W. Dyer

37.) “The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.”

― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

38.) “Change not only was inevitable, but usually brought its own rewards.”

― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

39.) “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

― Margaret Mead

Quotes About Change in Politics and Business

40.) Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. -John F. Kennedy

41.) The price of doing the same old thing is far higher than the price of change.

― Bill Clinton

42.) “Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”

― Barack Obama

43.) “No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.”

― Madonna

44.) “I realized how truly hard it was, really, to see someone you love change right before your eyes. Not only is it scary, it throws your balance off as well.”

― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

45.) Change your thoughts and you change your world. –Norman Vincent Peale

46.) “Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”

― Eckhart Tolle

47.) “Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others– it only changes yours.”

― Shannon L. Alder, 300 Questions to Ask Your Parents Before It’s Too Late

48.) “To change one’s life:

Start immediately.

Do it flamboyantly.

No exceptions.”

― William James

49.) “Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”

― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Quotes About Change and letting go

50.) People can cry much easier than they can change.

― James Baldwin

51.) The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.

― Charles Kettering

52.) “They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”

― Andy Warhol, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol

53.) “You cannot change what you are, only what you do.”

― Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass

54.) “Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”

― Shannon L. Alder

55.) People don’t resist change. They resist being changed.

― Peter Senge

56.) “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”

― Mother Teresa

57.) “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door”

― Milton Berle

58.) “Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labeled “This could change your life.”

― Helen Exley

59.) “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

― Leo Tolstoy

Quotes About Change In Life

60.) Change before you have to.

― Jack Welch

61.) If you don’t like change, you will like irrelevance even less.

― General Eric Shinseki

62.) “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain multitudes.”

― Walt Whitman

63.) “Growing up happens when you start having things you look back on and wish you could change ― Clary Fray”

― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

64.) “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”

― Alan W. Watts

65.) You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.

― R. Buckminster Fuller

66.) “We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.”

― Katharine Hepburn, Me: Stories of My Life

67.) “Don’t confuse poor decision-making with destiny. Own your mistakes. It’s ok; we all make them. Learn from them so they can empower you!”

― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

68.) “A bend in the road is not the end of the road…Unless you fail to make the turn.”

― Helen Keller

69.) “Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.”

― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Change quotes about letting go

70.) He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.

― Harold Wilson

71.) Change means that what was before wasn’t perfect. People want things to be better. -Esther Dyson

72.) “The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

73.) “Change, like healing, takes time.”

― Veronica Roth, Allegiant

74.) “If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write.”

― Martin Luther

75.) Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better. -Sydney J. Harris

76.) “And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time.”

― Libba Bray, The Sweet Far Thing

77.) “When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can’t make them change if they don’t want to, just like when they do want to, you can’t stop them.”

― Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol in His Own Words

78.) “I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

― Steve Jobs

79.) “Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

― Rob Siltanen

Change quotes about life

80.) I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.

― Georg C. Lichtenberg

81.) Resistance at all cost is the most senseless act there is.

― Friedrich Durrenmatt

82.) “I have accepted fear as part of life – specifically the fear of change… I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back….”

― Erica Jong

83.) “You never change things by fighting the existing reality.

To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

― R. Buckminster Fuller

84.) “We are the change we have been waiting for.”

― Barack Obama

85.) It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.

― W. Edwards Deming

86.) “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

― George Bernard Shaw

87.) “I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”

― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

88.) “Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.”

― Maya Angelou

89.) And just for fun… “Change is inevitable–except from a vending machine.”

― Robert C. Gallagher

Change quotes about people

90.) When people shake their heads because we are living in a restless age, ask them how they would like to life in a stationary one, and do without change.

― George Bernard Shaw

91.) If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.

― Gail Sheehy

92.) “The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind.”

― Kiran Desai, The Inheritance of Loss

93.) “Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not.”

― Stephen King, The Green Mile

94.) “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.”

― Winston S. Churchill

95.) There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction.

― Winston Churchill

96.) “One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world.”

― Malala Yousafzai

97.) “Forget yesterday – it has already forgotten you. Don’t sweat tomorrow – you haven’t even met. Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift – today.”

― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

98.) “We are not trapped or locked up in these bones. No, no. We are free to change. And love changes us. And if we can love one another, we can break open the sky.”

― Walter Mosley, Blue Light

99.) To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.

― Winston Churchill

100.) Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

― George Bernard Shaw

Did you enjoy these change quotes

Now that you ar

0 notes

xoxokadyn-blog · 6 years

Text

Beyond BumbleBFF: How to Make Friends IRL

Let's ditch the term "socially awkward" and put ourselves out there!

It's that time of year. School starts soon, and we're all either looking forward to the change or terribly dreading it. I know that while I always looked forward to new books and classes, I always dreaded having to start over on relationships.

If you go to a large school like I did, new classes means new classmates, which means starting over on awkward first interactions, learning new names, and dreaded group projects. Not to mention new clubs, new roommates, and even new jobs and coworkers.

If any of these things makes you feel panicky, then this article is for you.

Like it or not, these kinds of social interactions are a necessary part of life, both in college and out of it, and learning how to cope is a valuable life skill to start developing now.

We've all become familiar with the arguments about how social media is ruining our abilities to interact with people face-to-face (the cool kids call it "IRL," or, "in real life"). While some of these claims may be slightly over-exaggerated, there is something to be said for how social media has changed the way we talk to people and make friends.

An example? Apps like BumbleBFF.

In case you haven't heard of it, BumbleBFF is the cousin of the popular dating app, Bumble. Instead of helping you find THE ONE, BumbleBFF helps you find your new BFF 5ever. Using a similar algorithm, it's basically just a dating app. But platonic.

And like dating apps, there is certainly nothing wrong with getting a little help from the internet to find people with similar interests to you, who might have good friend potential.

But it's not the only way to find and make friends, and as you will eventually leave college and have to adult the hard way, learning IRL people skills is a must.

This might be hard if you're one of the many people I know and love (myself included) who have historically labeled themselves as "socially awkward."

And I have worn this label for a long time, until it suddenly occurred to me, as I expertly handled small talk as good as any refined lady of elegance:

I am not socially awkward.

I am socially uncomfortable.

It's not that I can't handle social situations, or that I make them more awkward just by existing in them, I just think those things are true. I tend to feel very uncomfortable in social situations, even when they're going really well, because I'm stuck imagining that everyone else thinks I'm awkward.

Sound familiar? Then you too, can be freed from the label "socially awkward!" (You can keep the mug/t-shirt/Pinterest pins if you'd like, though)

Ahead, I'll share some tips I've learned about starting friendships and navigating social discomfort.

Friendships IRL: The Decision

Like the old adage says, the first step to making new friends is admitting that you need friends.

The first step is always the hardest, because admitting a lack of something (like meaningful relationships) feels like weakness. But nothing is ever going to change in your life if you don't change something about your life.

So once you know you want to meet new potential friends, you need to commit.

Sign up for clubs, take on odd jobs at your local/campus newspaper, talk to the people you sit next to in class, or ask a coworker to lunch or coffee. If one-on-one makes you nervous, put together a Happy Hour outing or a game night, and invite a bunch of people.

Find your tribe! Just put yourself out there.

It sounds easier than it is - believe me, I know - but the first step is always the hardest part. It gets easier from here.

Friendships IRL: The "Profile"

Okay, so you don't carry around lists of basic info about yourself and a photo of yourself in the best possible light and angle (though that would save so much time!). But there are still ways to make yourself stand out, and communicate who you are without the aid of a “profile.”

This outfit screams personality - yours can too!

One huge way you tell people who you are is through your clothing. College Fashion has plenty of posts on awesome outfits you can wear every day, on nights out, to the office, or even to subtly tell people your favorite flavor of La Croix if you're looking for inspiration.

Some people will say things like “Dress every day like today is the day you'll run away with the Doctor,” or less-nerdy people will say “Dress like you're going to see your ex today,” or “Dress like you're going to run into your nemesis today” (don't pretend you don't have a nemesis).

When I know I'm going to a social gathering with a lot of strangers, I dress with two questions in mind:

Is what I'm wearing reflective of who I am as a person?

If I saw me, dressed this way, would I want to get to know me?

I like to ask myself both questions, because while sweatpants and a ratty tank top would give a resounding yes to the first question, it probably wouldn't give a yes to the second question. A blazer, some jeans, and a Star Wars t-shirt, though, gives a yes to both questions: a perfect outfit!

While we don't get the chance to summarize basic life experiences before we meet people (though wouldn't that be great), we do get a chance to have that first profile pic moment with what we wear and how we present ourselves. And so does everyone else.

Next time you're at a social gathering, pay close attention to what people are wearing, what they're doing, and the kinds of things they say. They're trying to attract specific kinds of people, just like you are!

Which kinds of people are you interested in getting to know? You can copy elements of their look and presentation when you're getting ready next time.

Friendships IRL: The "Match"

This is the moment where you start talking to someone. If someone initiates a conversation with you, it means they liked your "profile" - in other words, you've made an impression on them.

Don't sell yourself short by convincing yourself that someone is just talking to you out of pity or just to be nice.

If you're one of the newly-dubbed socially uncomfortable, try to stop thinking about what other people are thinking about you, and just be present. Focus on the conversation, not your anxieties, and you should do just fine.

For the genuinely social awkward, or for people who are less experienced in social interactions, I have a few tips:

1. Eye contact.

Not constant eye contact, to be sure, but do it often enough to convey that you're a real person, who's confident, and not a secret spy from a country so secret it's not even on the map.

2. Smile

Definitely do this when you first meet the person, and when they tell you things about themselves. Half of being good in social interactions is making other people feel comfortable, so even if you're feeling anxious, smiling will make you seem loads more competent, because the other person will feel so much more comfortable.

3. Say their name

Like eye contact, there's a fine balance to be struck here - it is possible to have too much of a good thing. A good time to say someone's name is right after they introduce themselves, and you shake hands or wave - you can say, “It's nice to meet you, [Enter name here]”. Repeating their name makes them feel seen and important, and will help you remember it.

(Bonus points: Smile *as* you say their name. It'll make them feel extra warm and fuzzy inside.)

4. Ask a question

Some people are like Small Talk Judo Artists, who somehow manage to turn everything back to you, and how your life is just so interesting, even when you ask them direct questions about their lives.

Don't stress about these judo artists, they either are so good at the small talk that they can't even tell they're doing it, or they genuinely don't want to talk about themselves.

Most people don't practice small talk judo, and would love a reciprocal or contextual question. Easy ones are “How about you?”, “How do you know the host of this event?”, “What are you majoring in?” or “If you could be a fruit, which one would you be?”

A question I got recently that I loved was, “What's something you love to talk about?” This is a great question to ask someone you've been chatting to for a little bit, and you've already covered basic family history, education, and work.

This lets them tell you how to talk to them, which is basically a socially-uncomfortable-person's dream. If they say they love to talk about movies, get them talking about movies. If they love to talk about their cat, then prepare yourself for pictures. You'll either stumble upon a great conversation well beyond the realm of small talk, or you'll at least have made them feel like you really cared about their interests.

If there's one thing to remember in first meeting anyone, it's that the number one skill in handling social interactions like a refined lady of class is to make the other person feel comfortable, and feel that they're important to you.

Remember: you can't be awkward if no one thinks you're awkward.

Friendships IRL: The First "Date"

Asking a potential friend on a friend-date can sometimes be just as nerve-wracking as asking a romantic interest on an actual date. But it doesn't need to be.

I have a rule for myself. If I like someone, and I would like to go get coffee with them and be their friend, then I tell them so. I learned this trick from one of my bestest friends, Mandy, who informed me one day when we were hanging out with mutual friends that she had a "friend crush" on me and wanted to be my friend. Turns out I also wanted to be her friend.

And the rest is history.

Getting someone's phone number to "hang out some time," is a great start - just make sure to actually text or call them. If you tend to forget these things, leave yourself calendar reminders to text them later, or better yet, make plans right away.

I tend to get nervous about the actual hanging out, because lunches and coffees demand a little more than small talk. So if you're afraid of having nothing to talk about, or running out of ideas, a little preparation can go a long way.

Come up with ideas for things to ask them. It could be about their significant other, their job, their favorite color, what they think of friend dating apps...literally anything.

Feel free to write your ideas down, but you don't need to. Having just thought through your strategy for the almost-awkward silences will help you feel much calmer going into the hangout, and you won't be doing the work of thinking of ideas in the middle of the conversation.

When the conversation is over, and you'd like to hang out again, make sure you say so, and then follow through!

If you're not into it, though, no harm done. You can politely shrug off any attempts they make to reschedule ("I'm really busy, so I'll have to get back to you"), and try again with someone new.

The goal with making friends is to find someone you'll really connect with, or someone you're willing to commit to. If you're not feeling it, don't stay friends with them just for the sake of having someone.

Other Tips & Ideas

If going to clubs, parties, or work outings just isn't your thing but you want to develop your people skills, there are still options.

A good place to start is by becoming a "regular" somewhere.

Starbucks is a great place to become a regular

Whether that's a coffee shop, a local diner, or a pizza place, going to the same places over and over again will give you lots of practice talking to strangers, and developing relationships over time.

These relationships might stay surface-level forever, or they might become lifelong friendships - I've personally experienced both outcomes.

If you already have plenty of friends and aren't looking for new ones, but want to improve your social skills, force yourself to talk to people everywhere you go. When you go to the grocery store, go to a line with a real cashier instead of self-checkout, and start conversations with baristas and waiters.

Every single interaction you have with anyone is important, whether it's a just a smile or it's a deep and meaningful conversation. Relationships are what make us human, and developing those skills, without the help of online algorithms, is what will change your life, and maybe others' lives in the process.

It might not be easier, but it's certainly more satisfying.

What About You?

Have you tried BumbleBFF? Do you consider yourself socially awkward or uncomfortable? How have you met some of your best friends? What do you love to talk about?

0 notes