#to the point where it sometimes keeps me from sleeping the 1st few days. so basically : girl help

[dsfjjshgffdg]

does anyone have like tips and tricks to avoid and/or deal with mosquito bites im suffering over here

[bbr0wni3]

Late Night Comfort

(one shot)

♡ -> Charlie Dalton x Reader

Summary: Everything has changed since the loss of a good friend. Everything is quieter, silent suffering that can't be contained, at least not for Charlie, who seeks comfort at a very late hour of the night.

-> Content & warnings: female reader, fluff, angst, love confession, narrated in 1st person, DPS spoilers!, secrets feelings, girls are allowed on Wellton, reader is part of the boys group

-> word count: 1.7k

-> (a/n): hii, a few days ago I watched DPS, and let me tell you that I NEED Charlie Dalton, he's so cute and sassy I just love him, the movie is so so amazing and beautiful, absolute cinema, so I figured I could write a one shot for my baby ♡♡♡

Sorry in advance if there are some misspelled words, bad grammar/phrases,etc. English is not my first language!!

Divider by @/anitalenia

It's been a week since Neil's passing. The atmosphere at Wellton isn't the same anymore, everything is quieter, and without Professor Keating our poetry class lacks meaning and passion. We stopped learning anything really, there is no class like Mr Keating's classes.

The boys, the whole group also changed, it's clear that we are all dealing and coping with Neil's death.

I sometimes go back to the Indian cave where all our “dead poets society” meetings were. But every time I go back I swear it feels colder than before, wetter than before and sadder each time. To think back and remember how we used to all laugh here, how we talked and listened, how we bounded like we have never before, and how charlie played the saxophone in a way that warmed my soul.

Now there's pure silence, and our laughs are trapped in the walls, faint whispers of all the poetry that has been read inside this dark cave.

Inside the cave I sometimes encountered the other boys, and usually they were always the same ones, pitts, knox, meeks, charlie and of course me; at the end the ones who were still going to the cave wanted the same, to revive the feeling of those old days, to feel the nostalgia of what could've been if something like the loss of a friend didn't happen.

I close my trigonometry study books as I prepare to go to bed, I get in the soft winter blankets my grandma crocheted herself, I lay my head on the pillows and turn my body to turn off the lamp I have next to my bed. I watch the ceiling for a while trying to fall asleep, and I eventually do.

A small and hesitant knock on my door, I tap the lamp again to turn it on and I look in complete silence in the direction that the sound came from, i wait and another knock is heard again, I glance at the clock that marks exactly 2:00 am and with a confused expression on my face I put on my slippers and get off the bed to open the door.

I open it, and I see Charlie standing there, with his usual light blue pajamas, I focus my eyes on his face, he looks tired and sad, but at the same time he's glad to see me.

“Hey, can..can I come in?” He is the first to speak and he does it almost in a whisper as he doesn't want the whole corridor to hear. He looks at me the whole time, and I cannot handle the way his eyes remind me of the ones of a puppy.

I nod and he comes in, I close the door with my hands behind my back to get a look of the situation in front of me, it worries me to see him like this.

“What happened chars?” I grab his hand softly and I guide him to my bed so we can sit and talk, as I do my heart beats loud, I can't contain and I can't deny anymore the way he always makes me feel when we're this close. I almost feel guilty to be thinking like this when he looks like he is on the verge of tears.

“I can't sleep, I keep seeing this images, this memories when I close my eyes, I just, I need someone to be here next to me” he is open about his thoughts with me, he's always been, whatever it is he's always been honest with me and straight to the point, and that is how I would describe our relationship.

“Do you want to stay again? you can rest here, we can talk if you want” I suggest to him while I look at the floor and then at him, he was already looking at me, the glimmer of the lamp paints the room of a warm yellow, and in his eyes it shines in the form of a small star, they are watery and a little red on the sides, but he looks dreamy under this light.

He nods in response, so I get up off the bed and grab some blankets from the top drawer of my wardrobe. I started making the bed that's on the right of the room, since I was not assigned with a roommate that bed is always empty.

In the walls I see my big shadow making the bed for him, I feel how he is looking at me the whole time, I'm nervous just thinking about it, even though it's not the first time he's going to sleep in the same room as me.

Once I finished making it he gets up my bed and walks towards me as I go back to my own bed, I get inside the blankets again, I place my hand on my cheek to look at him and how he gets on the bed, he only looks at the ceiling, i look at his side profile and i trace his features in my mind, I decide to break the ice.

“What's on your mind that doesn't let you sleep?” he turns his head and looks at me, he matches my current position and turns his body so he is completely facing me.

“Neil” he says as I expected, sighing as he says his name, even from this distance of the room I can see how a tear began to fall and followed the bridge of his nose.

I grab the side of my blanket and I extend it in the air, opening it as a way of telling him that he is welcome to come and lay down next to me, he gets up when he notices and scoops next to me on my bed, his chest is warm but his feet are cold.

My back touches the wall as I try to make more space for the both of us, but we are still very close to each other. I turn my body to look at him, he does the same.

Another tear falls from his eyes as we stay in silence, with my thumb I hesitate but I get on time to dry it before it reaches his lips. His expression changed slightly when I did, his eyes grew a little bit bigger, he breathed deeply and his lips parted slowly from each other.

“Am I so in love with you, to even notice the smallest details of your actions, charlie?” I thought to myself at that very moment. I very much knew the answer.

It's not the first time we seek comfort from each other, that we seek our company for various reasons. But tonight, tonight is different. He is different.

I've never seen him cry like this in front of me, I've never seen him so vulnerable and sensitive next to me. We did see each other cry, but from laughter or when the whole group was there, tonight there's privacy, there's an intimate moment, there is a cozy and comforting feeling between us.

I know he feels it too, because he is leaning towards me even more, he looks for my touch as he rests his head on the creek of my neck, from a moment to another he grips the fabric of my pajama shirt, he snuggles his face deeper in my neck and I start feeling the wetness of his tears before I hear his pain.

I stay still for a moment, I can hear how my heart beats louder in my ears, and how he Is choking on his own sadness. With my left hand I caress his cheek, his hair, and his ear. He starts to calm up with my touch, he stops crying but he still grabs the side of my shirt in the most innocent way.

I think of him when we were kids.

“I'm sorry, I didn't expect to explode like that” he says, still buried in my neck, he's embarrassed and his words almost come out as a mumble.

“don't be sorry, it seems like you needed to cry out loud so you did” he raises his head and i look at him, smiling without teeth.

“Do you feel better?” I speak again

“yeah I do actually, thank you” He lets go of my shirt and accommodates his body so that his head rests on my pillow, I do the same, and we both look at each other for a moment.

“you're very special to me” He says out of nowhere, making me blush, not only is he looking at me like he is searching in the depth of my soul but he also says something like this.

“I'm going to explode.” I say in my head

“you're very special to me too, Charlie, you always were.” I respond, I fear that my body keeps pushing me to finally confess to him, it's like a sudden impulse, but is it really the moment?

I keep looking at him, going from one eye to another, I try to search for me in them, I see all of the memories I have of him, the every moment that he made me fall in love with him even more, and in that very moment I find it, I find the bravery to follow this sudden impulse.

Carpe diem.

I get closer and I kiss him right on the lips, I close my eyes and I make it the faster I can to not regret it after. I taste the salt from his dry tears. I pull apart once the impulse is gone from my body and I go back to being embarrassed.

I see how he slowly opens his eyes, he looks at me, his pupils are dilated and he smirks before grabbing the back of my head with his hand and pulling me closer again.

The kiss he gives me is deeper, like he waited a long time to do this, like he imagined every single detail the same way as I did.

We separate, he places his forehead on mine as I listen to how he breathes.

“I like you, I like you so much” he says desperately, like if he was holding these words on the back of his tongue, like it was burning him every minute that passed without being able to say it.

“I like you to chars, a lot” I look up at him as I separate our foreheads, he looks beautiful as always.

I never imagined that this night could end up like this.

Thank you for reading!

[sweetflanfiction]

Second Chances - Part 3

Universe: Read Dead Redemption 2

Pairing: Arthur x reader

Disclaimers and Warnings: I just realized that the whole farming thing is very similar from the epilogues. It was definetly no intentional! Not finished, not proofread. English isn't my 1st language. All I know about 1899 is from google, so inacuracies will be plenty. The reader is on the older side, and identifies as a female

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

• ··········· • ············ •

“Fight them demons.”

He heard it inside his mind. He hadn’t seen the deer again, his mind wandering through green forests and cool lakes. The only time he saw it again, it disappeared at the entrance to a familiar campsite.

“Arthur my boy!” He heard behind him. His heart pounded as he turned but he saw nothing. “One more job Arthur!” 

“No!” He shouted. “You always have a plan! One more job! No more!"

“Don’t let the demons get you…” A soft woman’s voice whispered.

“We…need…the…money!” The older man’s voice enunciated each word.

“No more!” He said to the sky. “People died for you! I died for you! Hosea! Sean! No more."

The campsite changed a couple of times. Sometimes it was two small wooden cabins in the snow, sometimes it was a big dilapidated house in the south. The world spun around him and he fell to his knees.

“No more.” He mumbled

“Fight them demons.” The voice whispered and he nodded absently.

“I’m done…No more.” He said and his mind became black.

• ··········· • ············ •

A few more days passed and the stranger got progressively better, to the point where your father had almost demanded that you keep the door open at all times when you were inside giving him his medicine. He was still quiet, obedient, sad and incapable of anything other than breathing, eating and sleeping. Whether the last part was because of sickness or his state of mind you didn’t know.

As usual, you kept helping the stray and it ate you inside that, unlike the animals, he didn't react accordingly. It didn’t make you angry or frustrated, but it made you feel sad too.

“When can I leave?” He asked one evening when you started to leave the room.

“Whenever you want.” You said and he hummed.

“Why did you save me?” He asked again and you stopped and turned around. He was eloquent and conscious, but most surprising, he talked in full sentences.

“Because I couldn’t come home knowing someone was dying out there.” You said and leaned back on the wall.

“I wasn’t dying. I was already dead.” He stated with conviction, looking up when you chuckled.

“Well, I might just have to call the priest then, seeing as you seem to have resurrected from a cave in the mountain." You joked but his face was blank, so you turned serious. "Listen, you either came back to life or at least three people have gone mad and have been talking with a ghost.”

“You should have left me there.” He looked up at the ceiling.

“Maybe. But I didn’t.” You sighed. “Listen, the truth is you ain't dead, not even close to it. You had the flu accompanied by a mighty fever. You seem better now…whenever you wanna leave, just walk down the stairs and out the door. Ain’t nobody gonna stop you from getting back to where you came from, back into your own life and loved ones." 

His brows furrowed at the last part of the phrase.

“But…” You continued and he turned his head to look at you. “I talked to Pa and you can stay here a little while longer than needed. The ranch is very large, and we are always in need of help. If you want to stay until you get your mind together, you can. If not, like I said, the door is downstairs.” 

He kept looking at you, studying you from across the room.

“Why would you offer a complete stranger a seat at your table?” He asked, his expression changing between blank and questioning. “For all you know I can kill your whole family, rob you, burn your house down, kill your kids.”

“I can hear you pacing in this room at night, when you think we are sleeping.” I smiled softly when his eyes widened. “You pace back and forth, and when the floor creaks, you stop. This means you’re mobile. In all fairness we did sleep with our guns the first night that happened, but then we realized that you didn’t even try to leave the room. The door has been unlocked this whole time and you never made a run for it. So, correct me if I’m wrong but whatever your end game is, it doesn’t involve harming us.”

The man’s face changed expression three times in five seconds. Initially, it was guilty, then it was angry, and finally it was defeated.

“Y’all don’t even know my name.” He said under his breath. “Hell, I don’t even know y'all's names.”

You told him your name, walking towards the bed, one hand extended. He moved slightly, his brows betraying his blank expression, telling you he tensed up at your movement. He pulled himself up to lean on his elbows and grabbed your hand firmly but not threateningly.

“Arthur M…Callahan…Arthur Callahan.” He announced and you nodded.

“Welcome back into the living world Mr. Callahan.” You smiled softly, shaking his hand.

• ··········· • ············ •

The two manly voices from upstairs kept an amicable tone as you strained to listen. You were sitting at the bottom of the stairs with the two family dogs keeping you company. Much to your delight, both men seemed to be calmly discussing something.

When you told your father about the plan to ask the stranger to stay and help he looked at you sideways, a furry black eyebrow raised upwards, leaning back into his chair. He had learned over the years to listen to your opinion, much like he had done with your mother, and take it into serious consideration.

You had placed your arguments on the table: the ranch was indeed in need of help for the upcoming season; most of the families in charge of the surrounding lands weren't getting any younger, you being one of the youngest and even then you weren't exactly a teenager and finally, your instinct kept nagging that the man somehow had nothing left to go back to.

"Oh if it's your instinct then…sign him right up." Your father grumbled sarcastically.

But at the moment he seemed to be having a conversation with the man. He was either laying down some rules or letting him know the fastest way to the train station. The voices grew quieter and you jerked your head back up the stairs as you saw not only your father, but the stranger, Arthur following behind him.

He was wearing the clothes you'd found him in. They had been washed, but you didn't stitch the holes.

"Well, it seems like Mr. Callahan will help us for a while." Your father stated, coming down the stairs. "I'm gonna grab the horses and give the man a tour of the ranch."

"Alright." You replied getting up from your place on the stairs and looking up at the men. "Miss Brant asked me to help her set up the beehives that had arrived."

The older man nodded. You looked back at the almost healthy Arthur.

"Glad to see you up and walking, Mr. Callahan." He nodded silently and you left, grabbing a hat from the hanger by the door.

• ··········· • ············ •

You arrived late in the evening, your horse on a rhythmic trot. The house was mostly dark, but the front porch had a soft orange glow coming from a lit lantern that your father usually left outside if you weren't home after the sun went down.

There was a shadow next to the lantern and you soon discovered Arthur sitting next to it, looking at the darkness in front of him. Lost in thought, he didn't hear you approach, didn't even notice when you stopped Dusk right near him.

"Hello Mr. Callahan." You tilted your hat to the man, still seated on your horse.

His head jerked and he snapped up to look at you, surprised by your sudden appearance.

"Oh.." he cleared his throat and nodded his head. "Good evening Miss Graham."

"You alright there?" You asked leaning into your saddle horn.

"Ah…just thinkin' I guess. It's the first time I've been out at night after the whole…ordeal." He trailed off and shook his head. "Your father didn't seem very worried about you not showing up for dinner." 

"Bad news travels fast in Captain's Corner. If something had gone wrong, he'd know." You said, only moving to pat Dusk's white mane. 

"Captain's Corner?" The man asked with a hint of, what you assume was, alarm in his tone.

You stood straight in your seat and opened your arms, gesturing to the air around you.

"It's the name of the land Mr. Callahan!" You said enthusiastically "Welcome to Captain's Corner Ranches."

• ··········· • ············ •

[littledeadpotato]

Dracula rant:)

1st post! This'll be a book review (not very professional, cuz im not a book critic, I'll probably just write down what I liked) of the 1897's novel Dracula by Bram Stoker which I finished last night (running on 3 hours of sleep). I had a Czech translation from the library (because money) and that was Omega version from 2017 (it has a nice cover, Go check it out). This one took me a while to read, mainly because last few months im really tired and go to bed at like 23.00(??), so I read like 15 pages a day. Now to the review ;D

Started: 25/11

Finished: 30/12

Rating: 4.25/5⭐

Fun-ness: 7/10

Lovable characters: 6.5/10

Amount-of-times-I-spaces-out-because-Van Helsing-was-talking-pages-and-pages-and pages: 100000/10

When I started this I had no idea what I was getting myself into (plot wise, I knew there'd be Vampires), but I really enjoyed this book. For a 19th century novel, the characters were really fun (most of them, I couldn't bring myself to be genuinely interested in Van Helsing), I really liked Dr. Seward, Reinfield and Lucy (I liked the rest too but these just stood out to me).

I wasn't a huge fan of the way the Czechs (and other similiar groups) were depicted, it was very "us, english men, Are educated and know science! Those guys, stupid, they believe in Vampires and are crude", very not cool. The way this book describes women is also very funny, Im not saying Bram had some hate towards woman (the opposite, I think he also wrote strong female characters in his other books), but it really shows when this was written, on one page, both the men and the women are like: ,,Oh men are so strong and brave, women are so soft and delicate, they can never be as brave as men", and on the next one, everyone is worshipping Mina (which - fair).

(Spoilers ahead)

I would divide the book in few parts:

Jonathan's stay with Dracula

Lucy

Vampire hunting

Jonathan's stay with Dracula

This part I really liked, I'm part of the problem, because im aware Jonathan was going thru his worst, but cmon, it was a little funny to see Dracula climb down a wall like a lizard and Jonathan describing it in sheer horror. There were few very fun moments, but sometimes when Dracula was talking for too long, I sort of spaced out (-> my fault). I also enjoyed that one time the 3 ladies tried to drink Jonathan's blood and Dracula was just like: ,Get tf out👊'.But it was fun.

2. Lucy

This is the part where Lucy becomes the first vampire our friends have to deal with! This was my favourite part. I just really liked Mina's and Lucy's friendship (or more, I wouldn't mind lesbian vampire rep ;P). The whole events around it were at some point very frustrating, because you know whats happening and what they should do, but Van Helsing is just waiting and then is like "source: trust me bro💪", (speaking of Van Helsing, since my head is still full of Arcane, I kept imagining his voice sounding like Heimerdinger's, im sorry lol) which I understand but it results in things like one of the maids opening the window when Lucy was dead (or removing the wreath, I don't remember). Also all the stuff around the ship and the dog!!! Oh those are my fave parts of the book!!! I'm also pretty sure there were some chapters with John and Reinfield, which I also really liked. I was really dissapointed when Reinfield died cuz I enjoyed him as a character so much and was excited where his character gets (spoiler: to grave) and how his research continues (spoiler: it doesn't), that was my main moment of being pissed at Dracula and also when he started fucking with Mina which was a dick move honestly.

3. Vampire hunting

I'm pretty sure this was the longest part, which makes sense. I found it a bit funny, since Dracula keeps escaping and making his mischevious plans and spending money on shit and then Van Helsing, Arthur, John, Jonathan, Quincey and in certain parts Mina trying to catch him. It was a bit silly when I actually realised those babes are playing mouse and cat and also that Arthur spends shit ton money on this stuff. I dont even wanna know how it would go if neither of them was rich. How I said, wasn't a fan of Dracula being a bitch and making it Mina's problem, that sweet sweet woman didn't deserve it (I'm so glad Mina gets the recognision she should get in the book). ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT JONATHAN??? My poor man has been through the worst stuff possible through the book, he's in his late 20's and got grey hair and wrinkles just from Dracula. Also PTSD and some illness he had after getting out of the castle. Shout out to Jonathan for being the first wife guy and also LIVING THROUGH LITERAL HELL???? We dont talk about this enough T_T. Also here's my favourite fanart (idk if im just bad at looking for fanart, but this book doesn't have that much of it, like Dracula does but the side guys and Mina - Mina has few but most are with Dracula which is ickyyy - and Lucy.)

Credits to @hauntingyourself (I think)

The ending wasn't any revolutionary, it was good tho, also Quincey's death was so out my pocket, but im not complaining.

I'd also say why I liked and enjoyed this book was partially because I didn't take it as seriously, I mean I'll watch some analyses about it and all, but while reading, I was just having fun, and memes and silly fanart also helped with that.

It was a fun book, shout out to Mrs. Librarian who borrowed this book for me from another library 💋

Edit: also if you plan on reading/are reading Dracula I recommend listening to the album Empire of the vampire by Paralysed age :3

30/12/2024

[omegaremix]

25 Years Of Discovery.

January 1st, 2000 came with such underwhelming results. Didn’t help that last summer I had to permanently cut ties with a Judas sorority cousin after a public screaming match in front of family, neighbors, and strangers. I also pissed away the ones closest to me, my circle of “friends” from Brentwood. The liars, narcissists, victim-blamers, and the ones who left me out to dry all alone in parking lots because they were too awesome having fun in groups. Now you see why I had to spend New Year’s at the neighborhood church, pining away three hours until midnight arrived and even I couldn’t have that. A mother arrived with two screaming kids at 11:30 PM and all the while she’s running around the aisles between the seats, shuffling around like crazy catching them to stay put and she acted like a stereotypical soccer mom in the process. The most anti-climactic way to celebrate anything ever.

As my former friend Victoria said: “sometimes you have to go through the worst to get to the best.” Nice one, sweetheart. The best isn’t guaranteed no matter what people suffer through. The following Summer saw myself dealing with even more fallouts and the unpleasant surprises kept delivering.

What became of a Summer job working at the pool supply store with my friend Dede became a weekend bully convention. Dede, who got me the job, showed his true colors when he stood and laughed at me as two co-workers swung boxcutters at me. Store managers who heard my concerns nodded their heads and promised action, but in the end did zero. Showing up five minutes early for my shift wasn’t enough for Dede, however, and the Ever-Controlling One wanted me to work more days. "Who cares about your well-being?", he argued, because according to him it was all about him and his job. After daily dealings with his elitist prima-donna starfucker attitudes and half of the store talking about me behind my back, I no-showed him and shut him out for good. The next morning, he called my house while I was sleeping. “Why did you quit on me?” he asked. No “hello”, no “what’s wrong”, no “hey, everything OK?”. I answered by hanging up on him. Good-bye and good riddance to a self-important narcissistic asshole. But, I still had one out left in the deck. That out was Anna.

Anna and I had plans to meet up at Ocean City where she lived. Eight months of weekend online chats, pictures, cassette trades, hand-written letters (!), and Sunday night calls in the making. Here was a 5’8” pale Polish girl of straight neck-length brunette hair, green eyes, mid-cut shirts and tight jeans. Cute, flirtatious, charming. She came across so amorous and complimentary in such a way I never felt from anyone before. We’d trade notes about my struggles dealing with prima-donna underground musicians and egocentric writer-critics. She had her own drama with friends, co-workers, and exes- while recapping last night’s episode of Saturday Night Live. It was one of the few shining points of a dismal few semesters at community college. All fucking week I looked forward to those two hours talking to her on the phone. The time was right for me to come visit. She wanted it to happen. We made plans well in advance in what would be a unique event for me. To meet someone in a different state via Greyhound and experience something totally new would be exceptional.

Sunday night comes and I get a phone call from her to verify that it’s a go…it’s not happening. She broke the news to me in a sad let-down tone. Our plans were canceled. What was it? Was it because I was quiet about her mixtapes she sent me? Or was it because I saw no indication that she didn’t keep base with her folks that I was coming over and maybe her cover was blown? To this day I don’t even know. She never gave me a reason. They usually don’t. Real nice how some people show their interest in you, take it all back at the last minute and ultimately string you along for a few more miles before leaving you on the side of the road and drive away, never to be heard from again.

It’s June 19th and Summer was on life support. The only saving grace was spending 4th of July at a friend’s house. Then it finally died. I had close to nothing. No job, no pursuits, no movement, nada. Only a Playstation, bike rides to the library, and some trips to the bookstore to buy whatever music with what little money I still had. I was grateful in no longer having a selfish self-centered superstar for a friend, manager, and connection. On the other hand, Anna made me feel dejected because our plans were no more with no reason why. The season now became an excruciating waiting game for Autumn for a final unbearable semester at Suffolk Community.

I was already one year into listening to WUSB. They were the only game in town that played industrial and underground hip-hop. I tried hard to distract myself from recently losing the chance to see Anna, so radio was the drug of choice. I had plenty of blanks to run record on during my late-night shoot-’em-up sessions. Dubbing had been my weekly ritual since the Brentwood era. It was our way of capturing the moment. Downloading and streaming was in their infancy, and we didn’t have the permanence of online archives or YouTube. If you missed it, that’s it. Four, five, six tapes were lined up for the record button with one set aside to be transferred on. That was the beauty of dual tape decks, consolidation, and re-recording. Hit the red dot and let the chips fall as they may. Up on the itinerary: one of the four hip-hop slots our station had on the grid. Ghetto Radio, Street FM, The Basement, or Eminent Audio. Those slots never played the commercial -ish at the time, and they were four reasons why I returned to hip-hop after mostly abandoning it by senior year.

So, this happened: two of Eminent Audio’s dee-jays decided to play some short snippets of Seventies’ jazz, fusion, funk, and groove. Some late Seventies’ groove-line, and some Eighties’ R&B. The classics spun in short 20-30 second bursts, one after the other. It all started with Gang Starr’s “The Planet” which sampled Taj Mahal’s “The Cuckoo”, followed by Steve Davis’ “It’s All Because She’s Gone”, then Galt MacDermot’s First Natural Hair Band’s “Ripped Open By Metal Explosions”. Nas’ “It Ain’t Hard to Tell” and Michael Jackson’s “Human Nature” were also thrown into the mix.

And then, the Ace in the deck: Les McCann’s “Vallarta” ('77).

It played in the tinniest quality, as if it was trying so hard to push itself out of a drive-in movie speakerbox. It hit. It fucking hit like no other. Those feelings of watching those big money shows and ginger'd moms from Indianapolis deal with divorced life and her two kids, as I remember seeing it in my Brooklyn youth. Richard ‘Groove’ Holmes’ “Onsaya Joy” hit in the exact same fashion, too. Then Bob James’ “Caribbean Nights”. I was absolutely stunned out of my fucking mind.

The following week, Asmar (The Basement), always one to keep it real and spit consciousness, played Lonnie Liston Smith & The Cosmic Echoes’ “Expansions” (‘75). Then the comedown: “Aspirations” and finally “Colors Of The Rainbow”. None more accurate to describe the sounds and tonality of an isolated and introverted down summer. At that point that week’s Basement ended and it completely settled in.

It was all over for me.

The sampling parade and Lonnie Liston Smith songs tied into an era, a Borough Park childhood of spending days sitting at home playing with an Atari 2600, watching game shows (with surprise devils, computerized dragons, and lightning bolts), and late Fifties’ Looney Toons on a RGB-lens projector television. The days of my Brooklyn years continued on as an Eighties kid on the island when some of the most memorable moments, believe it or not, were these television station i.d.’s, opening and end credits, and production logos. 11 Alive, WGBH, WABC’s 4:30 Movie, WCBS’s The Late Show Intro, WPIX Channel 11 Film Festival, PBS, Magnetic Home Video, World-Northal, Viacom’s ‘V’ Of Doom, its sister Screen Gem's 'S' Of Doom, and chuckling pinball sounds with Peignot type…I can go on. They stayed with me the whole time. From that point on, I started staying in touch with myself. I always missed those obscure years living in Brooklyn. You miss them because you feel you haven’t had enough of them. Take all those moments, connect the dots, connect the stars, and get everything out of what you can that had everything to do with the era.

I started buying my own vinyl before the turn of the millennium, shortly after I started going to record stores. Only after WUSB’s Summer programming did I start pursuing the classics whenever and wherever I could. It was one way I had to keep up. A trip to what was Bay Shore’s Special Sauce, a skate and ski shop, once sold bins of vinyl records and was the first of many vinyl splurges. When I wasn’t crate-digging, I always referred to the-breaks.com, one of the first sampling sources on the net, way before WhoSampled took the lead it has now. Meanwhile, classic Seventies’ Saturday Night Live episodes followed and later discovered that my significant Yenny had GSN. You could imagine her level of tolerance to have her record these old shows for me on the regular. No, I lied. She was pretty cool about it.

YouTube came halfway into my stay at Stony Brook and I re-discovered those i.d.’s, credits, and logos. It was when I got deeper into collecting and finding those key artists that matched where I came from. John Tropea, Vic Juris, Chick Corea, and Esther Phillips. more Lonnie Liston Smith, Eric Gale, and Les McCann (again). Another very important kicker was my very first jump into library music. (Hello, KPM. Nice to meet you.) That's where I found Alan Hawkshaw, Brian Bennett, and Alan Parker. In fact, it was Parker’s “Unlimited Love” that was used for one of WABC’s movie intros-. Down the road towards the end of the Aughts, my vert first trip to High Fidelity’s old location in Amityville had me discover Phil Upchurch and Billy Cobham. That visit showed me to shop by year of release and gamble on artists I knew totally nothing about. That explains why I have two Karla Bonoff records, The Olympic Runners, Stuff, Maynard Ferguson, Urbie Green, and Ramsey Lewis.

I got re-acquainted with KPM after the turn of the decade, and made an entire mixtape / playlist dedicated to nothing but these sounds. Just so happened that I listened to nothing but Seventies, jazz / fusion, funk, groove line, and soul sounds for that entire Autumn and during Hurricane Sandy. The ultimate point of no return was when I found two very essential groups: Vinyl Archeologie and Reef Ali’s Vinyl Frontier. Could you imagine all these rare and obscure finds for samplers, crate-diggers, and producers they collectively unearthed? The sounds always featured on these groups (as well as Breaks & Samples and The Real Digging And Archeology) have shown me that it all goes to a whole new level.

These above groups are (all) the figurative time machine that takes me to places that no longer exist, ones which I’ve never experienced or been to, but felt like I have. They’ve extended my interest in jazz, soul, classic R&B, funk, groove, and fusion. To this day, they still do. This first-ever “jazz, fusion, rare groove, obscurity, resonance, vinyl finds, and sampling” showcase that aired on my radio show (Summer '13) not only made part of a personal summer mixtape, but symbolizes an all-too-important moment in my timeline with an addict ex-. Because of them, once-unknowns are now all-to-familiars to me. Gordon’s War, Starfire, Sass, Champaign, McNeal & Niles, and perhaps one of the most magical of them all, General Lee & The Space Army Band.

Since then, my affinity for these sounds have all but solidified. In the last few years, I discovered the Music DeWolfe, Patchwork, and Themes International library labels. Vinyl Archeologie and Vinyl Frontier have continued to unearth classics, resuscitate legacies, and renew interests in original artists. Omega is still doing bonus sampling / crate-digger broadcasts, and I’m always returning to find those classic programming moments for myself. With the help of Shazam and YouTube comments, I finally bullseye’d Otto Cesana & His Orchestra’s “Hi!”, Syd Dale’s “Cuban Presto”, and Reg Tilsley’s “Hold The Road”. I’m still unearthing new finds in the form of Emily Remler, Eddie Russ, Teddy Lasry, Tomorrow’s People, and Walt Barr. And, it seemed like only yesterday (Spring / Summer '18) that I once dropped $1,500 to all of the island’s record stores for post-surgery shopping therapy, and I did another record-store tour (Spring / Summer '22) in a winner-take-all fashion for double the price. If there was jazz, soul, fusion, whatever - it was mine.

I can’t say that the unreliables above (my former manager "friend" and the Jersey girl) made for vinyl music to happen. They’re isolated incidents. The sounds that our hip-hop dee-jays made possible happened regardless. I just happened to catch it. I still have the original recordings and digitized them last this year. How wild is it that the Summer has been salvaged from being a total bust for being in the right moment at the right time? How wild is it that one moment has carried on and still thrives to this day? It will continue to keep going because there’s always be something waiting to be discovered all over again. And as long as that does, the self-discovery continues, the broadcasts continue, the spending sprees continue, I continue. Here’s hoping you’ll do the same in your own right.

[garrettjadejohnson]

“It’s that actually her?”

Hello. I am writeing this late at night around 11:30pm.. I am scared and unsure what to do. It’s been a year since the things that I will explain have happened.

I’ve been stressing out and picking at my skin because of this. It all started on march 22ed 2021 when I met a young girl named Hannah.. she was kind and charming when we meet. She had a sweet smile and a funny laugh we met at a con that we had gone to and we instantly hit it off and became good friends like I said before she was sweet and charming however as time went along she became more and more odd, she was no longer the funny awesome Hannah I had met at the con she was cold dry and sometimes manipulative. I knew something was off about her and I wanted to leave but she was a good friend and I have gotten attached to her at this point on December 28th we had a sleepover together because I could feel us drifting apart and I really missed her so we hung out the whole day, through out the day I noticed she was reckless and had little to no care for the people around her offen breaking thing like a part of a swingest or a few things in a store. The Hannah I remembered was almost so much more different and annoying now and kinda scary.. later on in the day she became more normal and calm eventually when it came to the sleeping over part she was almost sad looking as she smiled softly and told me good night. She slept on the floor next to my bed, I don’t think she actually slept though because later on in the night I could hear her moving around.. I brushed it off as her just getting water however.. later in the morning I woke up to see she was gone.. after I realised she was gone I realised that there where small jabs in my arm, as if someone had taken my blood. I slowly sat up from my bed to see a note left from Hannah.. the note said: “dear Garrett. Enjoy the next 3 months of your life since they’re gonna be the last, thanks for trusting me so well even when you realised how bitchy I became after the nice first 3 months of being friends, I am sorry for what I will do to you will actually I’m not sorry. That’s such a Hannah thing to say. I would be sorry if I was really Hannah.” That last part of the note was what worried me the most. Who had Hannah became.. or what was pretending to be Hannah. I’ve spent the last 2 months panicking and crying because it turns out that the bitch that I spent a year being friends with was most likely a shell of a sweet girl who I truely only knew for 3 months.. I did some googling recently and found out that Hannah was probably killed with a drug or murdered with a weapon after having blood stolen by some witch like monster that is mostly called a “blood snatcher” or a “replacement of loved ones” that steals the blood and kill a family member’s (normally a easy to manipulate teenager) and drinks there blood to take there place as a human in that family so they can eat the rest of the family and then spread to another family, for the last 3 months of most targets the victims experience hallucinations, aggressive behaviour, tiredness and stress before they die and are then dragged of to a near by forest or something.. it’s now February 1st I feel sick today and I’ve been more stressed.. I keep hearing Hannah’s old sweat laugh and seeing things in the comer of my eye. I think it’s here to take my place now.

RIP Hannah 2006 oct 7th - 2021 jul 1st.

- Garrett Jade Johnson. 2005 jan 18th to 2022 February 1st.

[quindolyn]

General Relationship Headcanons || James Potter

Request: “Please can you do a general relationship for james potter? xx” -anon

Word Count: 5,835

Notes: This is kinda slow burn, I’m a little sorry. The ones I did for Remus and Sirius were not canon so this won’t be either which is a little easier because no Jily. These keep on getting longer and longer, but part of that is because Jamie is definitely my favorite marauder.

Warnings: Smut, angst, lots of fluff, dom and sub James, momma’s boy Jamie

Masterlist

You were something special

James had known that since he was 4 years old

It just took him a long time to realize exactly how special you really were

James Potter was an idiot

That would become increasingly apparent to him as he grew up

Your family and the Potters were great friends for as long as any of you could remember, meaning that you and James were practically attached at the hip

And who could blame you? He has such nice hips 

The both of you are heart broken when he leaves for Hogwarts leaving you behind because you wouldn’t start until the following year.

All throughout his first year you guys write back and forth sharing every single detail of your respective days, down to the color of the plate you ate your lunch on

You can’t help but feel envious

There’s your best friend in the entire world, in fucking Scotland

Making new best friends

When the next year rolls around and you get to finally join James on the Hogwarts Express you want to hate Sirius and Remus

You really do

But how can you? They’re Remus and Sirius 

You guys spend the entirety of the train ride laughing and talking and the other two boys tell you embarrassing stories from the year prior about James

When they hear your nicknames for him (Jamsie, Jamie, J), they make fun of him relentlessly

He calls you an assortment of cheesy nicknames too but his favorites, before you guys get together, are “Sweetheart”, “Sunshine”, and “love”

If you get sorted into Gryffindor James screams his head off for you, making room for you to sit next to him at the table in the Great Hall, opposite Sirius and Remus.

If you’re in a different house then James gets sad, really sad, like that night he cries into his pillow and Sirius has to climb into bed with him to give him hugs and tell him that its okay even if the two of you are in different houses. That doesn’t have to affect your friendship if you don’t let it.

The next day James would find you before you got to the Great Hall and engulf you in a hug in the middle of the corridor, not caring that there were people streaming past the two of you in either direction. 

“We’re gonna be friends forever right (Y/N/N)?”

“I hope so Jamie.”

Even though you’re in different classes and potentially different houses you guys are around each other all of the time

You sit with him and the other boys at their place at the Gryffindor table

They sit with you in the library

And by the end of your first year you’re having sleepovers in their dorm

You sleep in James’ bed of course and Remus and Sirius do. Not. hesitate. To mock you relentlessly

“You and your girlfriend getting comfy over there Jamie?”

“Go to hell Siri, let me cuddle James in peace!” 

These jokes continue through your years at Hogwarts and you and James take them in jest

As you guys get older the physical affection you share never dwindles

After someone made a crude comment in the hallway about the two of you he talked to you making sure that you were okay with the arms he would throw over your shoulders, the arms wrapped around you waist, the kisses to your forehead before he left the Great Hall for class, holding you in his arms in the Gryffindor common room as the two of you drifted to sleep.

You assure him that its okay, that its not weird because you guys have been best friends since forever and that you love how affectionate you are with each other

You don’t start to realize you feelings for James until he starts pining after Lily, you don’t know what you have until its gone, right?

Watching him stare at her in the Great Hall

Writing her little notes that even though he’ll go up and ask her out in front of everyone, which you’re not too fond of either, he’s too shy to actually give her

Listening to him go on and on about her, her hair, the cadence of her voice, the beautiful color of her eyes, how intelligent she is, and on and on

Sirius picks up on this instantly

And he does not hesitate to make fun of you for it all the time, obviously not enough for James to pick up on it because he’s a prick not a complete asshole, but still enough to make you blush uncontrollably

You can’t say anything to him though because he’s your James and there’s absolutely no way that he returns your feelings, you’re like a little sister to him

So, much to Sirius’ chagrin, you swallow your feelings and sit there by James, trying to listen to Remus as he tries to explain to you your Charms homework while James watches Lily on the other side of the Common Room laughing with Dorcas and Marlene

And a little piece of your soul dies

The summer between your third and fourth year, his fourth and fifth, you were excited to finally have your Jamsie back to yourself again.

It went without saying that the two of you would alternate between each other’s houses over the summer

There would be no Lily Evans to distract him

No exams to stress over 

Just you and James at the Potter estate, exploring the woods that, in all honesty, didn’t change all that much from summer to summer, and swimming in the bioluminescent pond on the edge of the Potter property, simply floating next to each other on your backs, one of his hands grasping your forearm, making sure you didn’t float too far away from him

But apparently this year it didn’t go without saying.

Instead, a mere month before the end of the term, James regretfully tells you that he and his family are going to Spain for the summer to be with his aunt who lives there and he really wants to take you but its the entire summer and his parents nixed it

“I’m so sorry sunshine, I really want to take you but-”

“It’s okay Jamie, I get it if you could you’d take me, but you can’t so its fine. I’m not going to hold it against you.”

And you can tell that he’s genuinely upset about it but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt any less when you hug him goodbye at King’s Cross knowing that unlike years prior you weren’t going to see him in a few days.

You spend a good chunk of the summer wallowing, not necessarily because your crush isn’t there with you but because your best friend isn’t

James writes you every day just like he did during his first year at Hogwarts but its not the same because you can’t see him

You can’t hold onto his arm when you’re tired and set your head on his shoulder

So when September 1st rolls around and you finally get to see him again you’re down right giddy

But on Platform 9 ¾ you’re looking for a wiry, lanky boy, with a nose a little too big for his face, and a squeaky little voice

Not the 6 foot man who approaches you, with broad shoulders and budding facial hair along his jawline.

“Sunshine!”

Oh holy shit

His voice

He no longer sounds like a dog toy, a very cute dog toy but still

You must admit that you’re a fan of the change, as the word leaves his lips you imagine resting your head on his chest and feeling the vibrations as he spoke with whomever

Its not a single day that you’re back at Hogwarts before James is fawning all over Lily again and you’ve had enough of it

You’re not going to let yourself to keep on pining after a boy who doesn’t love you

Not even doesn’t love you

But loves someone else

Sirius finds you a couple weeks into the school year, sitting with your back against a wall in an empty corridor trying to hold in your tears.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“I-I can’t believe I let myself fall for him. I’m an idiot Si!”

Sirius holds you in that hallway, rocking you back and forth while he murmurs to you that James is the idiot, not you, and that you deserve so much more than him

He helps you concoct a plan to get over James, he pitches to you going out on a date with someone else

Doesn’t have to be anything all that serious, just something to get your mind off James and remind you how hot you are, and how many people are lining up for you to give them so much as a moment of your time.

It doesn’t take too much on Sirius’ part to get you to agree to let him set you up

His name was Sullivan, he was in your year, a year younger than Sirius, with sandy blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes 

Sully, as he insisted you call him, took you for a butter beer at the Three Broomsticks

You had a good time, Sully was smart, and attractive, and you and he shared similar interests 

And all though he was lovely, and he insisted you were too, the both of you agreed that you would be better off as friends

You spent more time with him in the following weeks and less with James, Sirius, and Remus

The latter two were very happy that you were trying to move on because watching you stare at James was a little sad

James is confused, and hurt, and jealous

Though he adamantly refuses to admit that last one

Instead he just watches you. All. Of. The. Time.

To the point where if it wasn’t James it would be disturbing

And even though it is him it gets touch concerning

Sometimes before you go and sit with the Marauders at their spot in the Great Hall you’ll stop by where Sullivan sits with his friends and give him a smile, talk for a few minutes before hugging each other and walking away

It made James’ blood boil

Who did this kid think he was, you were his best friend he didn’t get to just waltz in and take you, or Godric forbid date you

One day you’re sitting outside with the boys when you see Sullivan on the other side of the court yard, excusing yourself you walk up to him and chat for a couple minutes before Sullivan’s face goes pale and there’s a shadow looming over you.

James throws an arm around your shoulders, tugging you into his side while extending his hand to Sully

“Hi, I’m James, (Y/N/N)’s best friend.”

James is standing there with you guys maybe 2 minutes, being the most passive aggressive petty person he could possibly be, dropping not so subtle hints about his distaste for Sully before he’s tugging you back to the tree where Siri and Remmy still are, their hands resting dangerously close to each other’s 

“What the fuck James!”

He plays dumb because if there’s one thing James Potter is good at its being an idiot, but eventually he relents

“I just don’t like the way he looks at you, it's like he’s trying to get into your pants!”

You start cackling

Borderline manically

“You’ve got to be kidding me James we’re just friends!”

Sirius being the eternally helpful human being he was added in his two cents, “Maybe you’re projecting Potter!”

And the laughing stops

James goes beet red, you feel all the blood drain from your face before collecting yourself and murmuring a quick apology before racing off for the castle 

You and James don’t talk for 2 days

It's the longest either of you have gone without some form of communication

You’re both so embarrased and you don’t want to hear James tell you that he doesn’t actually like you and that it was just Sirius being an asshole

Of course he would say this to make you comfortable but that’s not what it would do

It would crush you

You don’t have classes together so it's easy to ignore him there, and if you’re in separate houses it's even easier

Meals

Now that’s a different story

You can’t just eat somewhere else and the prospect of facing James after what Sirius said has you running for the nearest toilet

So you scrounge up what you can in the kitchen after meals

It kills James that he’s only seen you on the other side of the courtyard or disappearing behind corridors 

You’re supposed to be his Sunshine, he can’t stand that you’re hiding from him, he misses you so much

And at first he’s a little angry when you don’t sit with them at meals, but after scanning the Great Hall, he realizes you’re not there

His stomach drops, have you not been eating?

So dinner the second night he collects a plate for you with all of your favorite things and determinedly sets off for your dorm, balancing a plate in one hand and a glass of pumpkin juice in the other

He has to knock on your door with his foot

“Jamie, what’re you doing here.”

He gently pushes past you letting himself into your room to set the plate and glass on your desk

“You haven’t been eating.”

And despite yourself your heart flutters, because he’s right you haven’t been eating as much as you should’ve not wanting to get caught in the kitchens you only swiped what you could easily get your hands on

But then you have to remember, it's because you’re basically his little sister, not because he reciprocates your feelings

“I’ve missed you Sunshine.”

And you lose it

“Stop! Stop it Jamie I can’t take it anymore, you can’t keep calling me Sunshine and Sweetheart and Love and cuddle with me on the couch and then turn around and declare your undying love for Lily fucking Evans. I can’t do it anymore! I like you, differently than you like me and I can’t do this anymore!”

Poor Jamsie has never felt like more of an absolute asshole

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t revel just a little bit in the look on his face, didn’t feel a little triumph that maybe he felt even a fraction as bad as you did.

He’s an idiot and he realizes it

You’re both very quiet for a minute before he walks up to you so that you’re a mere inch from him before he gulps and leans down to press his lips to yours

“I’m an idiot.”

“Yes you are.”

“But I’m your idiot, right?”

“Always Jamsie.”

It's not as though much changes between the two of you on the surface once you’re together

You’re a bit more touchy feely with each other, kisses usually pressed to foreheads or temples often find themselves brushing at the other’s lips

He holds your hand a lot more freely now and more often than not it will end up clasping your thigh under the table in the Great Hall, or after having pushed your chairs together in the library so they touched

When you curl up together in the Gryffindor common room his hands find their way under your shirt, lightly tracing the skin of your stomach, pressing kisses to the junction where your neck meets your shoulder

His arsenal of nicknames expands impressively

Angel, darling, beautiful, gorgeous, poppet, pretty girl, mine

And he’ll add the occasional my before the word “love”

You already slept over in their dorm room every other night before you and James got together but now it's more of a nightly occurrence

Especially the day before a Quidditch match, James insists that he sleeps with his lucky charm, says you keep him calm

You cheer the hardest for James at his matches, bar maybe Sirius

Even if you’re in a different house you sit with Siri and Remus in the Gryffindor stands and get all decked out in red and gold

Now that you’re his he has no problem with Sullivan, he trusts you and by extension he trusts the people you trust

You’re touched one day, early on into your relationship, when Lily comes up to you in the Great Hall and tells you that you didn’t have to tell James to tell her that he was sorry for being a prick and not taking no for an answer.

You don’t tell her this but you didn’t ask him to do anything

James is just a good person

He also has an abundance of money and little impulse control

He’ll buy you literally anything he sees that reminds him of you, or if he remembers you bringing up that you wanted or needed it

He likes buying you jewelry because you can wear it more often than you could say the same dress or blouse

That’s not to say that he doesn’t buy you clothes too, he has all of your sizes memorized and knows whether you wear normal/petite/tall

James Potter will buy you pads/tampons/whatever product you use

He’s a man not a little boy and he doesn’t give a flying fuck if someone makes fun of him for it

One day Lucius calls him out for it and Jamie is just not having it 

“You have no clue where the clit is or what to do with it do you Malfoy?”

He’s always helped you through your periods so now that you’re together he’s just more liberal with his touch because he knows how much you love it

He knows how to do basic hairstyles and such because he watched his mom when he was a little boy and watch your mom do your hair too

If your hair requires special treatments and hairstyles he will write to your mom, asking for her to teach you because he loves your hair and wants to be able to help you, like imagine sitting in his bed while he puts braids in your hair following the instructions your mom sent him

Speaking of families when he tells Euphemia you two are together (which he does as soon as he leaves your dorm that night) she literally screams

Fleamont was worried that she was being attacked

But the next day at breakfast you get a letter from Euphemia stained with dried tear drops as she poured her heart out to you, telling you how much she loved you and that if her son ever broke your heart you were to go to her immediately and she would deal with him for you 

The year you finally become boyfriend and girlfriend is the year you all become animaguses 

James tries to argue with you, insisting that you shouldn’t do it because it's dangerous and he doesn’t want you getting hurt

Your rebuttal is that isn’t it just as dangerous for him? And if you’re not doing it neither is he and that leaves Sirius which just wouldn’t end well 

He’s so proud of you when you transform for the first time, he gets so distracted watching you that he forgets where he is for a moment

That summer, unlike the one previous, you and James spend all of your time together 

You spend the entirety of the holiday at the Potter estate doing all the things that you and Jamie used to do when you were younger, only this time its better

Instead of being childhood friends you’re each other’s 

You can kiss him, and hold his hand, and he can lift up your hair to kiss the back of your neck

Euphemia lets you guys sleep in the same bed but before that she sits the two of you down and gives you the talk

“Now (Y/N), I don’t know if your parents have ever discussed this with you but if you two are going to be sharing a bed I think it's important we go over it.”

There’s so much blushing and whining from James

“Muuuummmm.”

One night you guys are lying on the floor of his bedroom wearing the absolute bare minimum because it was so hot and humid out when you pitched the idea of going skinny dipping

James is hesitant at first because he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable

But you insist that you’re fine and point out to him that it was you idea not his

Being the gentleman he is when you strip by the lake he looks away making you laugh

When you turn him to look at you his jaw drops

You’re even more gorgeous than he could’ve ever imagined

It's dark out but the light from the lake allows you to drink in your figure

He blushes so much you’d think that he was the one naked

 When he does strip too he grabs you and jumps into the water, you guys are all over each other, running your hands up and down his chest, his hands are supporting your bum while your legs wrap around his waist

You have sex that night, for the first time, he was very gentle with you and holds your hand when he breaks you hymen and if you cry he kisses away your tears

“Do you wanna stop baby? Does it hurt too much? We can stop.”

James is one of two things depending on your preference

We have soft dom!James and sub!James

I personally appreciate a healthy mix of both 

Starting with soft dom!James, he would be so gentle with you 

Also very firm though, if you broke any of his rules he would not hesitate to punish you

He’s a thigh man through and through

Doesn’t matter if we’re talking dom or sub, the man lives for your thighs

Which makes his favorite form of punishment laying you across his lap to spank you, but most of the time his blows land on more of your thighs than they do your bum

He makes you count as he spanks you too and after every blow you have to thank him

“One! Thank you Daddy!”

And if you ever call him James instead of Daddy during sex he’ll stick his fingers in your mouth and make you choke on them, kissing away the tears that fall from your eyes, “S’okay baby, you’re okay. Can you do this for me? Can you take my fingers like the good girl I know you are?”

He loves taking you up against a wall, especially in the locker rooms after a Quidditch match

Shower sex is one of his favorites, thinks you look absolutely gorgeous, soaking wet and moaning for him, not to mention he get’s to fuck you up against the wall

This is the point in the headcanon where I urge you all to go read the blurbs by @randomoutsiders​ where Remus and Sirius teach James how to brat tame you, she captures his essence perfectly

He loves to blindfold you, he likes the little jump he gets out of you when he touches you

He gives you the most condescending mocking smiles

What comes to mind is the first time he makes you squirt, he’s so proud of both himself and you

“Good girl, look at that, look at how much of a mess you made for me angel. So pretty, good job.”

He then proceeds to lick the mess you just made off of you 

He loves buying you lingerie

He likes it in a deep red and black

Loves ripping it off of you, absolutely adores it 

After care with him would be so soft and sweet, he loves taking baths with you so he can clean you up and kiss all the places he left bruises while he murmurs to you about what a good girl you were and how proud he is of you

One night he tells you that if Godric forbid the two of you ever split up and you’re with someone else that after care is necessary and that you’re precious and deserved to be treated as such 

He treats you like a goddess 

Sub!James is just as precious

He’s also my current obsession so stick with me here

He’s just so eager to please, always wanting to make you feel good and not even caring all that much if he gets off himself

Just so centered around making you feel good

He calls you “Mommy” and I will not be accepting criticism

I feel like “Mistress” is too impersonal if that makes much sense

The former is just so intimate and James wears his heart out on his sleeve 

James is rarely if ever a brat, usually when he’s disappointed in himself and he takes it out on you and you have to remind him how to be a good boy

And the rest of the time when he breaks a rule it's completely on accident and he’ll come to you and tell you about it to apologize

He feels so guilty, like he’s failed you

Especially if he touches himself without your permission, it's almost enough to keep him from doing it but he’s still a horny teenaged boy and can’t help himself sometimes

Most of the time though you’ll end up with a horny James knocking on your dorm door begging you to help him 

He prefers giving you head than you giving him head

That’s not to say that the visual of you on your knees with his cock in your mouth isn’t appealing, it most certainly is 

He just loves that he can make you feel that good with just his tongue

James also loves how you taste, tells you it’s better than candy

Which makes you smile like an idiot

Will finger you under the table in the library if you ask him to, it's not like he was paying that much attention to his homework in the first place, and even if he had been you are without a doubt more important

Loves it when you ride him

Absolutely adores it, he loves the way your tits bounce which is why he prefers cowgirl to reverse cowgirl because he can keep his hands on your tits and on your thighs

He asks you for a cock ring, loves that you get to decide when he gets to cum 

Extra points if its a vibrating one

With his consent of course, you tie him up and make him watch while Sirius and Remus fuck the living day lights out of you, barely paying him any mind while you scream for the cocks of his two best friends 

He likes being tied up in general allowed to look and only look

The first time you peg him he almost cries it feels so good

And you take his sniffling as a sign he doesn’t like it and that he’s hurt, he has to explain to you that that is not it and “You make me feel so good Mommy.”

His whimpers and moans are the most precious things and he’s very vocal

Screaming your name and begging you to cum

He is not shy to beg you 

To cum

To make you cum

To get to so much as look at you

Baby boy has absolutely no shame 

I especially like sub!James because he’s such a cocky asshole 90% of the time but he’s also the kindest, most considerate soul and he spends so much of his life helping others that sometimes he just wants you to be in control

Regardless of sub or dom James you were making out on his couch that summer, your hands in his hair, his fumbling with the clasp on your bra when there was a pounding at his front door

He makes you stay where you are because he doesn’t want you to get hurt but its just Sirius

Well not just Sirius

He was bloodied and broken and looked like he’d been to hell and back

When he told the two of you what happened, how he’d been disowned and had nowhere else to go, while Euphemia tended to his wounds James engulfed him into the biggest hug and they just sit there, Sirius crying into James’ chest while James ran his hands up and down Sirius’ back whispering to him about how it was going to be alright that he was safe, that no one was ever going to hurt him again.

About 2 or so hours after you’d all retired for the night, you and James snuggled together in his bed you awoke when the door to his room creaked open

There was Sirius, with tears streaming down his face, his bottom lip wobbling

After untangling yourself from James you walked over to him, taking his hand in yours and leading him over to the bed

“James, scooch over.”

“Huh?”

“Scooch!”

When he opens his eyes and sees his Sirius standing there, bashfully ducking his head he quickly moves over and you and Sirius settle into the bed with him in the middle

You and James pet his hair hold his hands while you tell him how much the both of you love him and how you’re never going to let anything bad happen to him again

You fall asleep that night with James spooning Sirius from the back and you with your body curled into Sirius’s front, his head resting on your chest

When you go back to Hogwarts you often end up in this position in their dorm room only add Remus into the mix

You’re a year behind all of them at school meaning that when they graduate you’re still stuck their for a whole nother year without any of them

And it nearly kills all of you

You and James most, though you write to each other every day it's still not the same as him actually being there with you

When you get particularly desperate to see him he apparates to Hogsmeade where he becomes Prongs and meets you in the Forbidden Forest where you basically just spend the entire time holding each other and telling the other how much you love them

He cries at your graduation, full on blubbers 

“That’s my girl!”

Insists that you look better in your graduation cap than anyone else

Doesn’t relent when you tell him how ridiculous that is

You guys move in together as soon as you graduate, it’s barely even a discussion because you guys can always tell what the other is thinking

“Hey babe, do you wanna-”

“Yeah Jamie, when you wanna go look at apartments?”

He loves going shopping for your apartment, he has so much fun looking at color swatches and different fabrics

He insists that you guys decorate at least part of the apartment in Gryffindor colors

Wolfstar lives down the street from you guys and you have biweekly coffee dates together at a little coffee shop in between your two houses.

After a year or so you realise that you and James still aren’t married, and you get very self conscious

Does he not want to spend the rest of his life with you?

Does he not love you as much as you love him?

It completely eats you up

And James can tell that something’s up

When he asks you you confess your worries to him and his heart breaks

He never wanted to make you feel like he didn’t love you

Because of course he loved you

You were his everything, you were his Sunshine

After telling you all of this he goes rummaging through his drawers looking for something

That’s how you find him when you wake up to him accidentally dropping something results in a loud bang

“Jamie? Are you okay?”

When you find him he’s standing bashfully, blushing with his head down, his hands holding something behind his back

“James?”

And that’s when he gets down on one knee and pulls the small velvet box from behind his back

“This isn’t how I wanted to do it darling, but I spend every single day  thinking about you, you’re the first thing I think of in the morning and I fall asleep with you in my arms thinking about how much I love you and how I don’t know if I could live my life without you. I’m so sorry if I’ve ever made you feel differently, I can’t believe I was enough of an idiot to ever hurt you, in any way. Even though I most certainly don’t deserve you, would you do me the honor of making me the happiest man alive and marrying me?”

Euphemia plans your wedding with the help of Sirius

They go all out

There may or may not be a life size ice sculpture of you and James per Sirius' request

Married life is absolute bliss for the two of you

You wake up every morning with that ring on your bedside table (do people sleep in their engagement rings and wedding bands? I’m a child of divorce whose parents are both children of divorce, true love is a foreign concept) to remind you of the beautiful man beside you

Both sub and dom James go absolutely wild on your wedding night, he can’t believe your Mrs. Potter, that your his

Its that night that you pregnant

Though you don’t know it for almost 2 months 

James is the best husband 

He carries you everywhere, even when you’re not showing 

And he can because fuck that man is strong

He’ll carry you upstairs at night and down them in the morning and to the sofa 

You can only move by yourself when he’s not looking 

James is really good at puzzles and putting things together so it takes him less than 2 hours to put all the furniture together for the nursery 

Which he insists you paint yellow, the color of sunshine

One of the first things he buys is a little Gryffindor onesie for your baby

When he comes James has him in it all of the time

When you go into labor he’s very calm and collected

Euphemia is there to help the both of you because that’s the person he first called when you had your first contraction 

He holds your hand the entire time, kissing you, and coaching you along, telling you how good you’re doing, how proud he is of you

He cries when he first sees his son, he’s so beautiful 

Even though he’s basically the spitting image of James, Jamie swears that he looks so much like you

Once the doctors and nurses leave the room he climbs into bed beside you, throwing and arm over your shoulder as you cradle your little boy in your arms

“He’s beautiful Jamie.”

“Just like his mother.”

tagging: @randomoutsiders @weasleyposts​ @kittykylax

[savvythepirate]

Love Story

Pairing: Hector Barbossa

Warnings: None

Requested by: @personlovinganime

The Request:

Hey hello! How was your September 1st? Ready to get back to school? And I, as usual, with a request. Can I ask “Don’t die on me, (Y/n)!” with Barbossa

***

No one could decide weather what you had just done was an act out of stupidity or brave, maybe both.

All they know it’s probably going to be something where they would need to keep you around, letting you go almost nowhere with them or a trusted mate when everyone else would get off after docking while you remained behind. They as in everyone who was a part in Barbossa’s team to which you had become a member of few days before, so it was all still fairly new to you.

From the stern looks and slightly muttered insults he would throw right at you, you couldn’t help but feel if you had already done something wrong that makes it hard for him to warm up to you or if Barbossa just doesn’t seem to Ike you at all. It was at that point you decided that you would do with everything you got to make him hate you less at the very least. The truth was, he had a good reason for these actions and that was of his newfound feelings that he now gained was going towards you, he just didn’t quite understand how he should approach them himself. These growing feelings were something he didn’t plan on telling anyone, not even you. He didn’t even want to admit it to himself, but sometimes we all can’t help it when it comes out like this. After a few insult thrown at you, that moment had you deciding on proving yourself, that you truly did have a belonging of his team.

Once the decision was made of you doing exactly that, you begin building your own plans for it. However, things soon turned out in differently then you had seen it in your mind, but that seemed to have backfired on you after jumping in, courageously stepping in between Barbossa and one of the pirates that ambushed your crew unexpectedly. It all happened so fast, you didn’t see it coming as you took the blow from a sword that was clearly meant for Barbossa. Barbossa catches you in his arms as your knees buckle beneath you, while he couldn’t believe the tragedy that was unfolding before his eyes. What came next was confusing, thinking that Barbossa didn’t take a liking to you as a side of him shows that you’ve never seen before. It was his soft side and you grew fond of it right at the terrorizing moment, thinking he was about to lose you.

This helped you understand the reason for his change of a loving behavior, and that reason was because he was gaining feelings for you in a romantic way, as said before. In the meantime while he was holding you, you could just faintly hear him scolding and shouting out at you begging you not to leave him. What Barbossa didn’t know was that during your short time as part of his team, was that you had grown the same exact feelings as he has for you. Before long, you found yourself wanting to be with him, but you just continued to keep quiet about it. Just before rushing to Barbossa’s aid, you had to fight off a couple of stranger pirates to whom you never met before and now not having the desire to. Once you were in the clear, you look up and over to where Barbossa was and seeing that he was in a bit of trouble, you rushed over to him as you make the daring move to release him out of the sticky situation he was in just seconds before.

The pain was more intense by the minute, and you couldn’t concentrate on anything else but the pain. You could feel Barbossa’s touch more then you could hear his voice. However, you were able to hear more clearly, a plea from Barbossa before going unconscious as he was still holding you in his arms.

“Don’t die on me, (Y/n)!”

Two days later, Barbossa was finding himself watching you, waiting for you to wake up after placing you in his sleeping quarters.

Barbossa wasn’t going to stop at nothing while looking out for you as a bodyguard would, he made it his mission to make damn sure that you were in fact, going to survive this and pull through in a way like nothing had happened at all. Having his feelings for you basically laid out on the table for you, is it would soon be known to everyone.

But more importantly, you. One thing was for certain, was the fact that Barbossa sure does love you. You were proud to say you loved him right back just the same.

Always have, always will.

***

Requests: OPEN

@savvythepirate

[haik-choo]

karasuno first years out late w/ their s/o

request: Could you write how 1st years (yachi too pls🥺) going out with their s/o late at night ?

a/n: this is such a cute little concept i -- 

[KARASUNO FIRST YEARS OUT LATE AT NIGHT WITH THEIR S/O]

-tsukishima, kageyama, yamaguchi, hinata, yachi

tsukishima kei.

not gonna lie, he’s often awake late at night. he’s a night owl and doesn’t mind sacrificing his sleep to watch some youtube videos

occasionally, he even goes out late at night, slipping past his parents and brother’s room and softly closing the front door with his headphones covering his ears and his hands stuffed in his pockets

so when you text him at 3am and ask if he can go out with you to the convenience store, he agrees in seconds to meet you at the halfway point between your houses

wastes no time in putting on his sneakers and a hoodie; he wants to get there quickly so that you aren’t left out by yourself

tsukishima knows there’s creeps out there, which is exactly why he jogs to the halfway point and is relieved when he’s the first one there

as soon as he sees you in the distance he fast walks to catch up to you, and slips his hand into yours

he totally brings bluetooth earbuds so that you two can listen to the same music instead of his wired headphones <3 uwu

is always on the lookout for any weirdos, and if he spots someone eyeing you up he shoots them the nastiest glare

eventually wraps his arms around your shoulder while your hand is sitll in his and its that cute little thing where your arms is across your chest holding his hand </3

pays for whatever you get at the store, ignores your complaints and tells you to shut up when you continue to insist on paying

“im trying to be a good boyfriend for once, for the love of god PLEASE shut up”

secretly takes a candid photo of you at some point in the night and sets it as his home screen -- NOT his lock screen, and when you see it he outright denies having taken it

tsukishima: you told me to take a picture of you

you: stop lying i know you’re a closet hopeless romantic 

convinces you to stop at the park and eat the snacks you both got there, music still humming in your ears as the moonlight washes you both in cool tones

tsukishima when he’s alone with you is so soft -- he literally kisses your hand and temple and mutters very softly “love you” 

all in all, tsukishima kei is the perfect night-owl boyfriend to go on snack-runs with 

kageyama tobio.

"why would i go out right now. do you know what time it is. i have practice in the morning”

kags really out here kinda hurtin’ your feelin’s ngl boy doesn’t understand the vibes LOL

honestly you probably woke him up, he’s asleep at like ten every night (even tho he still has homework to do he just flat-out ignores it LOL) 

only agrees to go out walking with you because you said he could bring his volleyball and you’d toss a few for him....and also because he’s a little worried because it’s so dark out

doesn’t walk with you to the park but meets you there LOL

he deadass has his wholeass duffel bad with the ball, two waterbottles, two towelettes, volleyball sneakers and everything

“you know,,,,we’re not playing a game, right, tobio?”

“yeah???? and??? what’s your point”

acts nonchalant but is totally having fun and is lowkey glad you asked him to go out so late because it’s cool out, there’s no one to bother him, and you just look...really good under the stars

he’s not a cheesy person but...god you just take his breath away sometimes. not that he’ll ever say that though

you ask to take a break like thirty minutes in because you are LITERALLY dying meanwhile he hasn’t even broken a sweat (”you’re already tired? maybe you should workout more” “shut UP kageyama”)

you both sit on the bench, and you’re lowkey waiting for him to reach for your hand but they’re just folded in his lap as he stares out in the nothingness of night

kageyama can’t take a hint. we know this. he’s incapable of knowing what you want unless you flat out tell him; so you have to be a very honest person

he doesn’t even really initiate skinship, not because he doesn’t want to, but just because it never really crosses his mind

plus he doesn’t feel the need to constantly show affection because he thinks it’s obvious that he likes you

despite this, he is good at spotting weird people, and he’s pretty protective of you, so you’re completely safe with him. trust him, he’ll keep you safe

all in all, have patience and stamina because kags will play volleyball with you until you pass out. also, he loves you 

yamaguchi tadashi.

is in bed by 11pm but doesn’t actually go to sleep until two am because he’s scrolling through tiktok on his phone

sees your text about wanting to go out for a late night walk and maybe go through the little forest near your house and automatically sends a text that says “ill meet you at your window! can you pack some snacks? :)”

he walks all the way to your house, even if it’s more convenient to meet halfway because he wants to protect you! he’s not the strongest nor is he the most intimidating, so all he really has to offer is his presence

despite not being strong nor scary, yams literally has eagle eye. you can’t tell me that he can’t read people in a heartbeat -- he’s extremely perceptive 

also texts you to not bring a jacket because he’s bringing on of his own for you !!! so sweet what the hell

he waits at your front door and when you step out he automatically pushes his volleyball jacket into your hands and he takes the bag of snacks from you and sticks out one of his hands UGH such a gentleman

lets you ramble about anything and stares at your side profile as he listens 

joins in with a few quips here and there but ultimately is pretty quite and lets you speak or lets the silence cozy into the conversation

sees that there’s a guy sitting on a bench up the road and he switches places with you so that you’re further away from the stranger 

also wraps a protective hand around your waist until you both are past the random dude but yams will glance behind yall every once in a while

when you two reach the mini forest he ends up taking the lead claiming that he knows a good spot

and damn, he’s right

it’s a little clearing that is illuminated solely by the moonlight and he sets the bag of snacks down beside him before sitting down himself, apologizing for not bringing a blanket that you two could sit on 

pats the spot next to him so that you sit right beside him and he leans back with his hand on yours ONGMIRG 

is the super cheesy type and tells you that you look really pretty and that,,,he kind of wants to kiss you

you: *experiencing heart palpitations* and you did this for what. 

yamaguchi: ...because i love you?

you: *K.O*

all in all, yamaguchi is the boyfriend that completely indulges your late-night escapades <3 

hinata shoyo.

is either completely fast asleep and doesn’t see your text or was awake and not planning to sleep for the next five hours, no in-between

but if he’s awake and sees your text, he agrees right away and asks where you want to meet up and what time because homeboy probably has to bike to get there AgAGAGAGA

literally doesn’t even show up in sneakers. he’s wearing sandals and shorts with a short sleeve top 

“i came in my pjs”

“i see that.”

asks if you two can bike around instead because he doesn’t want to have to wheel his bike around for like an hour 

he tells you to hold on tight because the bike was built for one person, and when you press against his back his warmth is literally so,,,comforting 

has no sense of awareness and will scream going down a hill in the middle of a neighborhood, no fucks given

so, no, he doesn’t notice any weriod people even if there are some around

you always end up running into some weird people and you get new interesting stories every other day because let’s be honest hinata is a magnet for crazy shit and crazy people (usually crackheads) 

you both just ride around as he talks about his day, usually his sister always comes up in the conversation( “she asked me to marry you the other day” “doirhgAEROIHFGRE SHOYO WHAT” “what? i told her i would. i keep my promises!”)

after like thirty minutes he begs for a break and you stop at a little 24/7 ice cream store that is run by the sweetest elderly couple

you share a sundae because you don’t want to eat too much this late at night

he plops on the bench right outside the store with his bike leaning against the metal handles, and h snuggles up to you and watches you scroll on your phone

he talks a little here and there, but for the most part, he goes quiet, and it’s during this time where you’re unaware of his gaze that he just takes his time drinking in your features in the yellow light of the lamppost 

he can’t read the mood most times, but this time he does, and he stays quiet, and he thinks to himself

that he really will marry you one day

all in all, hinata gives you the impulsive young teenage experience of late night bike rides while eating his fair share of ice cream

yachi hitoka.

another either or, except this time she’s either fast asleep or stressing over homework and the nine tests she has the next day

when you ask if she can go on a walk with you she’s hesitant because she doesn’t want to get in trouble with her mom and she’s a total goody goody and terrified of doing anything reckless; but then she remembers that her mom was on a business trip and so she, very cautiously, says yes

you: good. i’m outside your door btw

yachi: i never had a choice did i

you have to meet her at her house because she’s way too scared to walk by herself at night; she might even make you factime her as you commute because she’s worried for you

jumps at every little thing, even the crows cawing make her shit herself

instictively grabs onto your sleeve and nervously look around the entire time, to the point where she doesn’t hear what you say

so you offer to go to a little cafe that’s still open and right away she nods

she’s so adorable, she bows really deeply when you two walk into the store and apologizes for it being so late

and finally, because you two are safe, she’s calm and smiling as she sips at her strawberry smoothie

awkwardly and very shyly reaches out for your hand on the table and gently lays her palm on yours

canon: yachi totally has freckles and you can’t convince me otherwise 

her face is red and her freckles are just on display you can’t help but coo at her and tuck some hair behind her ear because god could she get any cuter?

you two end up staying for like a hour and a half and very shyly she asks if you could walk her home 

and this time on the walk she’s not overly cautious and seems to enjoy the nighttime breeze and your hand softly clasping hers

does that cute thing where she lays her head on your shoulder or arm while you both are walking and looks up at you through her eyelashes and asks if you could give her a kiss on the cheek </3

you: stop. please. im going to die.

when you’re at her door she literally just stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before tilting her head upwards and pressing her lips to yours and then promptly running inside

video calls you three seconds afterwards to make sure you get home safely 

all in all, you might need to be the impulsive one, but yachi enjoys spending late night time with you more than she admits. also please kiss her thanks      

[a-froger-epic]

Interview with a Queen “groupie”

Cross-posted to AO3. I encourage you to leave any comments you have there.

---

I compiled this interview following a long email exchange with J, a very sweet lady who went to Ealing Art School between 1972 and 1974. She knew all four members of Queen personally and was part of their larger circle of friends.

First off, you may find this hard to believe. I don’t blame you. But I assure you I’m not pulling your leg. As well as the pictures I share in this post, I have seen current pictures of J (which I will not share to protect her privacy). There is no indication as far as I am aware that she isn’t who she says she is.

Nastally, hold up. How exactly did you find this lady?

She found me. It turns out that she has been following my story Dawn of Aquarius for quite some time. The story is set in 1969. A lot of research about the era went into it, because I wanted to portray that time period - and Freddie’s and Roger’s surroundings - as accurately and realistically as I possibly could. That was what drew J in. She tells me it brought back a lot of memories for her. One of the reasons I love DoA so much is the nostalgia, she says, which genuinely means the world to me. Eventually, she talked to me in the comment section. Of course, I freaked out!

And then, I asked her for an interview, to which she replied: I will give it a go, but you must remember that I am 65 and there were great drugs in the 70s, and at 16, away from home, I had a lot!

And so...

Here’s what is IMPORTANT TO KEEP IN MIND when you read this interview.

These are one woman’s 50-year-old memories and subjective impressions. J has been incredibly kind to let me pick her brain, trying to recall everything as best as she can. In her own words:

Just remember that when I answer the questions, it is from a 16-year-old who is 9 years younger than Freddie and a little girl with no family and friends in a strange country trying to fit in. The only reason I was there, was because some hippie thought I had a unique art style.

---

J as a teenager.

[I have edited the interview together from our long, and somewhat messy at times, email exchange. Typos have been fixed and some punctuation added for clarity, but I have not changed anything J has written to me. Again, bear in mind these are personal opinions and impressions.]

So, J, how did you end up at Ealing Art School in 1972 and what was it like?

This was the painting done for the Australian school-leaving certificate.

It placed first and gave me a scholarship. I could pick France, the USA or England. As a dual citizen of the UK, the choice was easy. The scholarship paid for board and fees, so had to be and sell whatever for spending money.

This picture is from the dorm. We all had a 10pm curfew and a very thick rule book that, I am proud to say, I broke every one of them, one by one. The rooms were on the 1st and 2nd floor. We were on the first floor, rooms one side and admin staff the other end. We had two bathrooms for 18 girls. One of them had two baths. The walls were your standard half wall, so it was a given that if you had a bath you run the risk of having a bucket of cold water dropped on you. Downstairs was the kitchen and lounge room.

I want to ask you a few things about life in London in the early 70s, to get a picture of what it was really like. For example, was there alcohol at the music gigs you went to?

If it was a school, church or community hall, no. If it was a pub, yes.

Did you and your friends drink as much then as young people tend to drink now when you all went out?

No, we didn't. I think it had a lot to do with money. We didn't have the disposable income, and it was unheard of to still be living at home with the parents after the age of 20.

Was weed and LSD as big and easily accessible as depictions of the 60s and 70s would have us believe?

The drugs! Got to have drugs. Pot (weed) was easy to grow, very cheap. Used to smoke it in bongs rather than joints, more bang for your buck. Trips [LSD] were cheap, I think. About 2 pounds and you were on the high for over 24 hours with no sleep. My drug of choice was hash. Either the oil or the block. It was a nice high, but you could not function well. But if you listen to the music of the time it really does reflect what it was like, to have a group of friends over for a session. Having said all that the most outlandish and shocking drug I ever saw anyone use was the birth control pill. Didn't you have to hide that stuff away?!

Can you tell us some 70s slang that isn’t really in use anymore? What in the world does “ultra-blagging” mean? (As written in a letter penned by Freddie to his friend Celine in 1969.)

Abso-bloody-lootely!

Man, I thought I was the bees knees to be on a scholarship in London. But that didn't stop me from jigging or having a skive day. They were the days that I blagged my way into a pub, had too many lagers and ended up chundering in the gutter. That was how you knew your night was ace. I would get a right bollocking if anyone found out. It would be a bugger when all that you could find at a car boot sale was chavtastic, but sometimes you could be Jammy Dodger and tickety-boo you find something brilliant. Bob's your uncle. Anyways, I need to see a man about a dog.

[It seems to me that J uses a bit of Australian slang here, like chundering, which makes sense because she is, after all, Australian. She also provided the translation:]

Cheers

J

It would be my honour.

I felt very privileged to be given a scholarship that let me study in England. But being so young and having no family to guide me, it was often tempting to not turn up or give a false excuse for being sick. (I had a lot of food poisoning). These would often happen if the night before I had been drinking beer and ended up vomiting outside the pub. But in my young mind that was a good night. If any of the teachers found me drinking I would be in a lot of trouble. Often I would have to say I was holding it for someone else. Not having much clothes with me, I would buy them second hand from church jumble sales or other students and, yes, Kensington market (the market). Some of the stuff would not be very tasteful or in good condition. But sometimes you would find something that was cheap and in good condition. I will stop this text now as I must go to the toilet.

PS: Ultrablagging sounds very Freddie. Blagging was used, but not ultra, meaning to persuade someone to do something or act better than you are. They were always rock stars.

Sincerely

J

[It was at this point that I realised I was talking to an absolute legend. She also told me then that the majority of her old photographs had sadly been lost when her house was flooded in 1988, including most of the photographs from her stay in London. Noooo! :(]

When you went out to dance, did you have only live music? Were there DJs yet?

You know, that is hard. We did not have a DJ. Sometimes there would be a band. Often we looked for places with a band or the jukebox. I think pubs closed at 10pm and some stayed open to 12 or 1, but public transport stopped at 9. So if you had not arranged a lift then you had to make the last bus. Most of the time we would be heading back to someone's place to get stoned and then crash there. In the morning you would have to work out where you were. When I got back to Australia, the discos were all the rage. They could have been in London too but it was not cool to like disco.

How many people would show up to Queen’s gigs when they played in pubs or at, for example, the Imperial College?

Depending on the location and the night: 10 to 1000!

So how did you first meet the Queen boys?

I was at the pub talking about a band we saw last week when Brian stuck his head into our booth telling us he knew a better one. Thinking about seeing them at the stall... Roger not often, Freddie quite a lot. Often on different stalls, I think that is why I can't remember the name. [The name of the stall. Other sources confirm that Freddie also worked at Alan Muir’s stall, for example, selling shoes.]

How well did you know them?

Just looking at your tumblr account. [she has had a look at my blog, where somebody asked if ‘groupie’ meant she had slept with the band] No, I never slept with the boys. I would not say I was a close friend, but I started at Ealing Art College in ‘72 and moved in the same circles. I loved the music and could be called one of the first groupies. I had to sneak into the pubs because I was 16. Roger always teased me for being so young. They all did seem to be one very large family, not just the band. It was a group of about twenty regulars, both male and female. Everyone knew that Fred was too gay to function. We were all at the gay rights march in London in 1972, had to run after the march. Lots of sharpies [Australian slang: youth gang, thugs] wanting to bash us. Back then I was in every protest that was going, student union rights, even the secretary protest. Just part of the times, stick it to Man or Woman. I left London in ‘74 for Australia, been here ever since and lost track of the boys but have never stopped being a fan.

What do you remember about them? How would you describe their personalities?

Don’t let the trolls hate me, but I did not like Brian. I found him to be rather full of himself. Space was a subject you never brought up around Brian or you would die of old age before he stopped talking. He was always the first to speak and start a conversation and then quickly passed you off to John, who was always tired and shy. Roger was also quite shy at times. He was very self-conscious of his looks, as he felt being pretty, nobody would take him seriously. Fred, well, he was not yet the big star, so I think he was working on his stage persona. When talking to groups at parties, he had the best stories of things that had happened to him or close friends. They were very funny and very descriptive. He was the life of the party. When he had a few to drink or was the centre of attention, he would take a cigarette out of the closest person’s hand and start smoking. Now remember this is the point of view of a 16-year-old girl that was a fish out of water, trying to fit in and not having much worldly experience.

It is said that Freddie and Roger were very stylish. How did they dress in everyday life?

Fred would do his hair and makeup to check the mail. Yes, he was always turned out, but so were a lot of people. Freddie did go over the top with hats, scarfs and jewellery. With Roger, it is a surprise he was able to have kids his jeans were that tight. And his shirts were always open unless he was in a jumper. I think it could have been so that you knew he was male, as it was the start of the unisex clothing. When I travelled out of London I realised it was a London thing. When I got back to Australia everyone thought I was a show-off.

There are some disagreements about how tall especially Freddie was. I know this is a difficult thing to try and remember accurately. But do you remember?

Freddie was taller than me but everyone was. Roger was shorter than Fred, but I never saw Roger in platform shoes. I did meet up with the band by chance at Sydney airport in 1984, said ‘hello’ but they did not remember me, or if they did then they did not say anything and I did not want to be a dork. At that time Fred was the same height as me (5ft 8in/1.72m), Roger was taller than me. It made me think at the time that he had a growth spurt! John was shorter than me and Brian has always been tall. [I have a feeling the platform shoes - or lack thereof - played a vital role here! Although 172cm for Freddie seems likely.]

You said everyone knew Freddie was “too gay to function”. Attitudes towards homosexuality have changed so much that it can be hard for us, now, to fathom what exactly people must have thought of him. Was it more of a joke that he was so camp? Was it something he would have been teased for? Also, he had a girlfriend. Did you ever meet Mary or the other girlfriends?

In 1972 a whole group of us - and I am pretty sure that Fred, Roger, Brian and Tim were there - were in a gay pride march. [Since then, J has found and showed me a picture of a boy she thought was Tim Staffel, and it wasn't, so Tim was most definitely not there. Whether Freddie, Roger and Brian really were there or if J is misremembering, who knows?] Us youth believed you could not choose who you fell in love with and if it was same sex, so what? However, if it was two girls then it was every guy’s duty to change her!

It was also a time that the gayer the guy was, the more the girls were interested. Also, if a guy was gay then you did not have to worry about him and he was a good person to take with you if you were going out drinking. However, the police, parents, teachers and anyone of authority were horrified and treated them badly. I did meet Mary a couple of times at pubs and once after a gig. This is just my opinion, but I found her a bitch. It could be that I was so young. It could be that I was very Australian. It could be that she felt threatened as my accent was a magnet to people around. And the boys (Queen) were no exception. Brian had a cousin in OZ and was always asking questions. I remember that my close group of friends thought that Mary made the perfect girlfriend for Fred as they were as fake as each other. Having said that about them, I often wonder if I would think the same now and if my perceptions were just because she would not give me the time of Day. Chrissy and Jo were a lot of fun.

This was before your time, but I read that Freddie's nickname at Ealing Art School was ‘Freddie Baby’. Any ideas how this came about? His showmanship or maybe personality traits?

I don't think so. There were an older crowd that would talk like that. I think the slang ‘baby’ was a 60’s thing, like groovy baby.

How long, roughly, did Roger and Freddie have their stall? I can't find anywhere when it closed down. What did it actually look like? Was it a sort of wooden stall type of thing? Or an actual room? What were some of the other things people sold at Kensington Market? Mostly clothes or all sorts?

The markets were little divided shops. The back was brick and the walls wood. I have been trying all day to remember the name. [Of the stall.] I think it was something hard to say. More often than not it would be Freddie's dad in the store. It was still open when I left. Roger and Freddie were both in the store on Saturdays and some Sundays. There was a girl, I think Jill, who was in the store more. And during the week it could be anyone. You name it and you could get it at the markets. Second hand or designer clothes, shoes, jewellery, pot and assortments. Hair cuts, food, bric-a-brac.

Wait, wait. What? Freddie’s dad? Really now?

Yeah, it was an older Indian man. so we just assumed it was his father. It was my understanding that he started the stall then the boys would work it as the whole markets were set up for younger people, but if needed he would work there. I don't think the boys would be able to pay the rent on their own. [I have since found out that the stall closed in late 1971, and Freddie continued to work at the Market until '74, for Alan Mair and possibly others. So the stall J witnessed wasn't their original stall - explaining all the different people she saw there - but she had no way of knowing that it wasn't.] They always had incense burning that was very big in the 70s. I still occasionally bring out the sticks, but it does not last like the candles and diffusers of today. If you could get in touch with Robert Daniels, he ran ChaChaDumDum it was the stall across from Freddie. He would know the dates.

[J says it’s this look, in a picture she happened across while looking at my tumblr] Yep, that is the one. It usually means that he does not believe or agree with something that was said and is working out how to respond, or he has lost the plot.

You mentioned Roger seemed shy to you at times. Was he also quite charming? We read a lot about what a chick magnet he was. Was this the impression you had?

My favorite subject! I had a thing for Roger. Everyone has a type and mine is the blue-eyed blond. Now, before you ask, was he brunet? No, he was a mouse/dirty blond. If it was summer he would have blond streaks mostly at the ends. He knew he was pretty and was always dressed in the latest fashion and had the current hairstyle. So, being my type I was constantly watching him. Everyone slept around during that time. I did not notice Roger doing it more or less. 80% of the time he was with Jo. Yes, he was a chick magnet, but he did not do the chasing. He was always very polite to everyone. If it ever looked like there would be any conflict he would be the first to leave it. It was not that he was a coward, just not into conflict. If he saw anyone that needed help he was right there, and often had to have Freddie's back. I never saw him in a fight. He could always talk his way out of things. He was also very patient and would listen for hours to other people talk. However, he would get this vacant look in his eyes at times.

And Freddie would either click his fingers, change the subject or just give up. I don’t think that Brian noticed, and it would be fair game for John, he would see how far he could push it. Roger liked to drink a fair bit and when drunk he would be hanging all over Jo. If she was not there then he missed Jo. If, however, he thought that he or his friends were not being respected, then look out! It was a verbal volcano heading your way. That is what happened to me one time. I was trying to talk with my friends close to where a drunken Roger was and I yelled at him to shut the hell up, you wannabe blond. We/I coped a mouthful back, all in the same sentence, that finished with: Sorry, I didn't realise you were on your rags (period)! I have to have the last word, so I told him the truth: I don’t get them yet! (I was a late starter.) He went so red in the face and called me JB [jail bait] from then.

You also mentioned Roger’s cat Ziggy having kittens. I read about this but never when exactly it was. Do you remember?

I think it was winter ‘73. I remember being cold when he was asking around the pub. [To find homes for the kittens, I gather.]

Is it quite strange reading fictional interpretations of real people you knew? When did you first find out there was Queen fanfic?

No, we used to make up stories about people all the time, a verbal fanfic. Was looking up Adam Lambert and came across the fanfics. Some had me in stitches! Others, like DoA, had me hooked.

Please, allow me to be a little self-indulgent at the end. What's one thing I got totally RIGHT in DoA?

All the Ibex stuff.

What's one thing I got totally WRONG in DoA?

Roger did not have a temper, and I don’t know what the go with his father was, but he would talk about him quite a bit and was always visiting his mum. [Absolutely fair, not only did I change the timeline of Roger’s parents divorce in DoA - for lack of information at the time - but also created a completely fictional narrative around it for the sake of storytelling.]

J, thank you so much for all this, sincerely. Can you tell me a little more about yourself? Are you still an artist?

I don't paint or draw any more. At the age of a 50 the doctors operated on an aneurysm or three, and now my eyesight is very bad, I have no fine motor skills and a tremor. I was married in January 1984 and have just celebrated our 37 year anniversary. I have one daughter who is 30 and two great, although tiring grandkids. A girl, 11, and one boy, 5. I have lived my life as the average middle class Australian with great memories. Talking with you has helped me a lot to remember a time when the world was mine for the taking. When I returned to OZ I started nursing, met my best friend, and we planned that once we graduated we would go back to London to study midwifery. But I fell in love instead.

J's wedding in 1984. As you can see, she found her own blue-eyed blond.

---

Upon request, J has shared some of her past and present artwork with me.

These are from her time at Ealing Art School:

These were done later, back in Australia:

J: Did this just before Christmas as you had inspired me. It did not require fine motor skills!

So there you have it! I hope you found this little glimpse through a 16-year-old girl’s eyes as much of a fascinating read as I did. I urge everybody one more time to remember that J did not have to share any of this, and I think we all owe her a big thank you for delving into her memories. She is likely to see the responses on AO3, so I have comment moderation enabled there as I will not let anybody harass this lovely lady. The tumblr she created is @since72, but she isn’t really an active user and also very new to it all. Again, I can only urge everybody to be respectful.

If you have other burning question for J, feel free to leave them in the comments on AO3. I will either pass them on, or she may want to reply to them herself directly.

[atinydise]

Ateez reacting to their s/o holding their hands for the 1st time

❦ Genre: Fluff.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 3k3.

❦ Requested: Yes, thank you! 🦋

HONGJOONG

You were peacefully staring at the sky from your window. You've been staring at it since the departure. It was such a beautiful view that you wouldn't be bored it even with 11 hours of flight. "What are you staring at, love?" Asked Hongjoong, finally removing his earphones. 'Love'. You will never get used to him calling you this way. It never fails to make your heart beating faster than ever. "The view with the sunset is just so relaxing." You smiled. "Look at this with..." he struggled to untangle his earphone. The short imagination of him losing his AirPods for the 823rd time, got you smiling. "Song." He finally inserted it on your ear.

A soft and calm music started to play. All of your senses were comforted by these clear notes. "Sounds like a commercial music, right?" Giggled your boyfriend. "No... it's relaxing." You claimed. "I could fall asleep in 2 seconds because of it." "Then go ahead." He patted his shoulder, telling you to rest on it. Without hesitating, you put your head on. It was comfier than what you thought. Not something pointy and hard that could bother with your earrings or piercings. "Is it comfy?" Asked Hongjoong, a tiny bit worried. Too reassure him, you simply nodded and grabbed his forearm with your hand. Just to keep him close. Hongjoong wasn't used to you, showing this kind of attention in public. He was a bit taken a back, but finally only you mattered. The song was leading you in a soft and calm mindset. Your eyes were closing at every note and your entire body felt like a feather. Your boyfriend guessed that you were falling asleep because your hand was sliding on his forearm. 5 minutes later, your head almost fell from Hongjoong's shoulder. He quickly put it back in place, but it caused your hand to rest right in his free one. The warmness and the softness of his palm made you unconsciously held his hand. Tight. Hongjoong took his time to realize what was happening. Even if you were sleeping, he was hickey flustered. He was staring at your fingers, intertwined with his. Your boyfriend couldn't help but smile and blush. More when he tried to remove your grip, but you tightened it. "Cute." He whispered. Hongjoong and you were not really tactile and clingy persons, but when these moments happen, for the first time or rarely, both of you desire that it never stops. It was your moment only.

SEONGHWA

"I can't believe we are here already!" You stomped enthusiastically. Seonghwa was staring at you. You were so happy and cute. The way, you were holding your backpack straps made him melt instantly. "Disneyworld..." you sighed joyfully. "It's magic!" Seonghwa nodded, they really created a whole world and it felt unreal since he put a foot there. "Where do you want to start?" He asked, opening the map. "Space mountain!" You almost yelled, pointing at the localization pin. "Really? But we ate 2 hours ago?" He gulped, thinking at the amount of looping. "What a baby." You smirked. "Then what about... Peter Pan? Or Ratatouille?" "Okay I agree for the last one." He accepted. "Let's go!" You almost ran to the crowd, not wanting people to take your place in the queue. Seonghwa was looking at every details of the amusement park. All the shops had their own magical surfaces. He needs to come here with the members one time. They would go crazy for sure. "Fast Park Seonghwa!" You pouted. To tease you a little bit more, he started to walk slower. He deducted that it was working well because he spotted the vein on your forehead. "You are so slow!" You complained. Not thinking twice about your actions, you held his hand and led him to the attraction. The moment he felt your hand in his huge one, his stomach clenched. A thousand of butterflies were flying there. You were too focused on the board that you didn't saw the light blush on his face. But you secretly liked to hold his hand. It felt just right. "Bingo!" You pointed at the clock, "only 5 minutes of queueing." Seonghwa was barely listening to you. He was looking at your hands fitting perfectly in his. You had a moment of doubt, maybe he didn't like it and was too nice to tell you. You tried to detach your embrace slowly, but he tightened his grip on it. "Don't." He said seriously. "I like it." You smiled shyly at him. "It's the first time we are holding hands." He giggled. "A-Ah really?" You stuttered, a bit flustered. Seonghwa was about to reply when his phone buzzed in his pocket. You thought that he would let your hand free, but you were wrong. He struggled a bit to get it out of the pocket but no way he would use both of his hands. "Yeah Joong?" He rolled his eyes. "No. I told you I had a date today with Y/N. At Disneyworld." You glanced at him when you heard the word "date". Seonghwa saw your facial expression and winked cockily. You ignored what feels the most magical now; Disneyworld or a date with Seonghwa?

YUNHO

More and more you were moving forward in the queue, more you wanted to run away. Your friends advised you to go in a haunted house with Yunho, for your first date. At first, you didn't realize the situation. You only thought about a way to be close to him without being awkward. Yunho is scared of absolutely, nothing. He could play with a tarantula, then dance with a venomous snake without problem. So, a haunted house was nothing for him. But for you, it was another story. "Are you okay Y/N? You are shaking a bit." Asked Yunho thinking that you were already scared. "Even a lot." "I'm good!" You slapped his shoulder, puffing a bit. "It's just the anticipation." "Ok cool. I thought you had this kitschy idea to stay glued to me for the whole time. But I would probably be the one doing it." He laughed. "N-No. So, cliché." You laughed nervously, cursing at your friends in your mind. Not even 30 seconds later, the host led you inside. You were completely terrified. You couldn't even enjoy a single moment the proximity or the thought or having a romantic intercourse with Yunho. "Oh wow, that's well made." He pointed at the spider above you. You did your best to suppress the scream stuck in your throat. "W-Wait. You are working too fast." You tugged his shirt. "Are you scared?" He teased you. "We can go out if you-" "No." You shook your head. "Just stay close." You wrapped your arm around his. Yunho admitted that it was cute. Of course, he was aware of your plan when you invited him to the haunted house. You couldn't even walk next to a worm, without yelling. Suddenly and even Yunho shivered, a skeleton almost fell at your right. Your first reflex was to grab his hand and to hide behind his tall figure. Even though the situation wasn't the best, Yunho's heart flustered. Thanks to the darkness, you couldn't see the blush on his cheeks. His stomach clenched when your fingers placed right between his long ones. This action never had such an impact before. He was used to hold Atiny's hand during fansign. But it was nothing compared to this feeling. The rest of the way, you never let his hand go. Nor let 2 centimeters away from you. When finally, you exited the nightmare, the reality hit you. "Well done Y/N." Said Yunho. "F-For what? I've been a scared baby there." You faked to fix your clothes. "I thought you would jump on me right when we entered, but no. You had shown an amazing braveness." He giggled patting the back of your head. You grunted few words, too nervous and shy to admit your plan. "Give me your hand lady. Let's go inside again. I liked it." He smiled.

YEOSANG

["Y/N"] ["Bring ice cream."] Without hesitation you run to your kitchen and took a vanilla post in the refrigerator. You messily put your shoes and exited the college dorm. ["On my way!"] After 5 minutes of walking and avoiding bumping into every single person in the street, you arrived to Ateez' dorm. Right when you exited the elevator, you saw Wooyoung closing the door. "Wow. I want a best friend like you. In less than 15 minutes you there." Claimed Wooyoung. "How is he? Good or?" "A complete mess." He replied. You rolled your eyes, "I swear... I told him to stay away from this type of girl." "Good luck." Shrugged Wooyoung. "Wait, you are not going to comfort him?" "Why. I know that you are here." He patted your shoulder. "I'll watch a movie. See ya!" "Jung Wooyoung! I swear-" "Are you going to stay there the whole day, or you are going to enter and comfort me?" Asked Yeosang, who came out after hearing your voice in the hallway. "Be nice with me. I brought you a vanilla pot." You lifted your plastic bag. "Cool. Now I can be completely depressed and heartbroken." He whined. After that, you both sat on the couch, enjoying the calm for once. Yeosang explain that he prepared the best date for her and he even bought flowers. But she never shown up, nor replied to his texts. "You don't deserve her. I told you that already and a bunch of times." You ate another spoon of ice cream. "Are you going to eat all of this by yourself?" He slapped your hand, causing the spoon to fall. You rolled your eyes and faced him. "Yeosang, stop being sad for her. You are a real treasure and too bad for her, she lost someone really special." You grabbed both of his hands and rubbed it with your thumbs. "Even if you are a bit savage sometimes, you are such a good person." Yeosang's eyes couldn't leave the sight of your hands, holding, squeezing and rubbing his. "And she's stupid. You are probably the perfect boyfriend on this earth." You claimed. "I would be grateful to have a boyfriend like you." He raised his brow, by surprise. You instantly flickered his forehead. "Don't even think about it." He sneered, knowing that you would say something like that. "How do you feel?" You asked when you finally saw a smile on his face. Yeosang hesitated a second, but finally chose to take his sad facial expression back. "Hold my hand and tell me how amazing I am again. It might help." You rolled your eyes. "This guy... Anyway." You ordered and held his hands once again. Screw the compliment. That's what he really wanted.

SAN

You were waiting your boyfriend for 15 minutes already. He as late. Like always. But you never been mad about it. San was doing his best to spend some time with you despite having a heavy and full schedule. The last thing you could do, to just show him how grateful you are, is to be patient. "Y/N!" Shouted San, running to you. He was smiling widely and waving crazily. "Slow down, you are going to trip." You warned him when you judged he was close enough. "Sorry." He paused, catching his breath. "I'm late again." "It's okay babe." You pecked his cheek, making his heart jolt a tiny bit. "To apologize, you can choose everything you want us to do today." He said happily. Next thing he knew he was trying to walk for the first time with rollers. "Y/N, I can't do this!" He whined, holding the ramp on the wall. "Come on! I know that you can be really good at this." You encouraged your boyfriend. "How do you manage to stay still with this?!" "It's still my feet. I'm the only one controlling them." You smiled, turning around him. "Oh my god, help me." He sighed, trying to stop his legs to shake like a newborn. "Okay." You stopped at his left. "I'll help you." San gulped when you slid your hand over his forearm to gently hold his hand. He was still amazed by the softness of your palm that he didn't realize that the wall was getting far away every seconds. "I can't believe that we are holding hands." He finally said. You simply giggled, ignoring what to say. "I thought that I would need to do it first. I know how shy you are princess." "Stay focused Sanie." You replied, a smile glued on your face. "Your hand is so cute in mine. It's like it was meant to be there." "San." "I want this moment to pause forever." He claimed. "Babe." "I can’t believe!" He sang, using the same tone as Chen in Exo*. "And I can't believe, you made a whole round without falling." San finally looked around him. He was so focused on your hand that he completely forgot his main task. "I'm roller-skating!" He shouted victoriously. "I'm a grown man now." "Can the grown man detach his hand now that's he's a pro?" "Never."

MINGI

Mingi is shy. On the stage, he always looks fierce, confident and cool. But in reality, he is a cute and shy boy. It took him 20 minutes to ask you on a date. You spent your entire break from your old part time job, to listen to him, stuttering 2 words by minute. With respect, of course, you always kept your distance and understood that he was not into showing affection in public. Then you always 'stayed in your place' and be affectioned in private. But even not that much because he was still taken a back. Tonight, they all had a rough day and Seonghwa offered to walk an hour in the park below. You encouraged them, saying that it was a good idea. So here you are, leading the walk with your boyfriend. The rest of the members behind you, a bit like chaperones. Everyone could tell that this little walk was relaxing. One by one, they all found their smiles back. "Do you remember Bridgerton?" You asked. Mingi raised a brow, "the show that made you drool and fangirl about the dresses?" "Yeah!" You snapped. "The boys looks like our parents, checking that we don’t do anything wrong." You smirked. The tall boy looking behind him. The 7 other boys were minding their own business. "Not really. They totally don’t give a f about us." He sneered. "Ah really? So, it won't bother anyone if... I do something like." You removed your hand out of your pocket to held Mingi's one. As expected, he blushed and stuttered that they were just behind. "Come on...." You teased him, squeezing his hand. "We are dating for 3 months and you never held my hand. So, I do it." "Y/N!" He blushed even more. "Ooooouh Song Mingi!" Shouted the boys behind. Some of them were whistling, one by one. Few ones were clapping, and San Yunho were imitating the scene. Even though Mingi was cringing, it was not bad at all. "Song Mingi is a man now! He's holding a girl's hand." Shouted Wooyoung. All of their comment started to make you awkward too. But in a good way. Judging that you teased Mingi enough. You tried to untangle your fingers. "Finish what you started." Said Mingi, tightening his grip. "You put us in this situation, so you need to assume it too." A nervous laugh came out from your throat when he put both of your hands in his pocket. Of course, this move caused the other boys to start yelling behind both of you. But you could still live with it.

WOOYOUNG

Even if you agreed to spend the night at the dorm Wooyoung still found the situation awkward. It's been 2 weeks that you were officially dating. Everything was perfect. You both had a real great harmony. Even the other members claimed that they were jealous of your chemistry. The only problem which was not a big deal but still bothers Wooyoung, was that you were not really the 'clingy type'. You barely touched each other. He respected that you needed to hold our hand sometimes or just give you a hug or a peck randomly. "What are you thinking about?" You asked sliding under the sheets. "You keep looking at the ceiling." Wooyoung hesitated a second to tell you what was bothering him. But he finally decided to not say anything and to not put you in a awkward situation. "Nothing, just tired." He yawned. "Let's sleep." You nodded and made sure both of you were well covered. "Good night Wooyoungie." "Night Y/N." You couldn’t see his face, but he was disappointed when you turned around, showing your back to him asking if he was asleep already. He finally cracked an eye when he felt your warmness just next to him. His heart started to rush. Wooyoung even though it would stop functioning when you grabbed his hand to held yours. You slowly rested your interlaced hands on your belly. Wooyoung was burning behind you. The dozen of mini him were dancing and shouting along in his head. When you started to rub your thumb over his skin, it completely drove him crazy. Wooyoung could felly your belly on his forearm. because of that, he wanted so bad to squeeze and hug you until you couldn't breathe anymore. "I know that you are awake." You whispered, giggling a bit. Just in case this moment would stop, he preferred to stay quiet. "I feel your heart bumping, jolting and clenching in your chest." You added. "I just... love this." He finally admitted. You simply stuck your body closer to him and snuggled gently against it. "This shit drives me crazy. You seem so tiny." "Just sleep." You giggled, enjoying his presence. "I can't sleep anymore! I feel like I'm going to explode." He replied, happily. "What did I do..." you sighed, smiling a little bit.

JONGHO

You just felt your friends. You spent the whole day looking for a dress. And not a casual dress. An amazing and fancy one. Just to go with your boyfriend at a gala. You needed to get along with everyone there or to be at least presentable. Jongho told you that you could wear anything you want, but your desire was to impress everyone there. Especially the CEO, so he could stop looking at you like a trash. Just when you got out of the café, you spotted a red-haired guy, in the same alley of you. You doubted a second, but you saw him holding an Ice americano. It was your boyfriend for sure. Without hesitating, your ran to his direction. When you were at 5 meters behind him, you walked slowly and quietly. You recognized the Chanel earrings you gave him and his Louis Vuitton sport bag. "He's so expensive." You thought. Not waiting anymore, you grabbed his free hand. Jongho had the instant reflex to step away and to brush the hand off. "Hello young man, are you single?" You winked at him. His face softened, when he saw your face. "No sorry. I'm taken and take care because she's crazy." "Hey!" You pouted. Jongho sneered, proud of his own joke. When finally, he realized. "Oh." Wondering why this sudden behavior and glanced where's he was looking at. "What?" "It's the first time that you are holding my hand." He blinked. "We do this all the time." "No. You don't get it. It's incredible." "What?" "Your hand is hold mine. It's the best thing ever." You raised a brow, "you are too much." “I’m usually the one holding yours but now!” “You-” "Do not move." He kept staring at it. People walking past to you, were giving you a weird look. Jongho was looking at your hands in awe. "She's holding my hand too! And the first time!" He said to a couple passing by. "Choi Jongho." You slapped his shoulder gently, completely embarrassed. "Let's go to Hongdae!" "Why suddenly?" You asked. "So, we can walk there!" "It's 1 hour far away from here!" "Yes. Exactly. That's the point." He smiled widely, already enjoying the idea.

*Exo - Tempo: it’s a song which had been praised by many (I do recommend to watch Ateez covering this because it’s a m a z i n g) and Chen’s lyrics intro (0:02) really had his impact.

[virghogh]

Guessing NCT's rising signs: Huang Renjun as a Cancer rising

Welcome to my first post where I write all about why I think this idol is X rising sign! I don't know how many of these I'll do because it heavily depends on how confident I feel in my guess of their rising lol for Renjun's rising sign, it's something I've been sitting on for a loooong time just to see if anything else comes into my head. At the end of the day we really have no way to know for sure, even if the idols gives us their birth time it still has to be taken with a grain of salt! But it’s still fun theorize and to test your skills while learning at the same time. So for now I feel pretty confident sharing my thoughts on Renjun as a cancer rising.

Let’s ✨explore✨ why:

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧long post! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✦ Before I even decided to look up his chart layout, there were 2 characteristics of Renjun that initially led me to think he’s a Cancer rising. His eyes and his physique. His eyes aren’t necessarily as big as idols we’ve seen with moon in 1st, but they’re still very notable features of his physical appearance that he’s very well known for. They’re bigger, soft and dreamy, and sometimes look like he quite literally holds stars in his eyes. The biggest physical feature though is his, well, petite frame. Next to his eyes, renjun is also really well know for his smaller build. It’s even a well known inside joke amongst NCT, they all him “big shoulders renjun” (lol) because “for a guy” his shoulders a on the smaller side. Both of these physical attributes can also be identifying characteristics of cancer risings.

✦ So, in general I think he is a Cancer rising. But if we want to be more specific; I do think he is a 3rd decan Cancer rising which is the Pisces/Neptune ruled decan. I initially chose this because his house and planet placements just make so much more sense to me when the rising is in the 3rd decan (I'll get into that below), but after reading about the 3rd decan I also think it fits his personality really well! With the Neptune and Pisces influence, he's more on the open side of Cancer rising but more notably, 3rd decans are a lot more inclined to art/creativity and sometimes, music specifically. These people also have a very dreamy attraction about them. He also has his Venus trine ASC which can further add to this kind of creative vibe he gives off, but is also drawn to! It emphasizes the importance of aesthetics, art and creativity in his life. If you've never been on Renjun stan twt then you might not know that a lot of his fans see him as this incredibly dreamy and ethereal boy (as they should) and I can see why!

*:･ﾟ✧house and planet placements *:･ﾟ✧

Scorpio moon, Sagittarius Pluto in 5th:

✦ yea... just yes. Okay but actually, if you read my NCT Dream Hexaco x Birth Chart analyses, I talked a lot about his chart already because I really like it. As someone with a Scorpio moon, I can't help but be really interested in how his plays out. And I have to say, I am quite attached to this theory because I think his scorpio moon in 5th just. makes. sense. I'm not going to go much into the descriptions of the placements, I'm mostly going to stick to the house influence. We know that Scorpio moons have really intense emotions, they internalize everything and are just highly sensitive people to their environments. Renjun has been incredibly open about his mental and emotional struggles ever since being a kid. I've honestly never heard an idol talk about their struggle like he has. He even opened up recently about how a few years ago he had an art therapist that really helped him and lowkey changed his life. I feel like a lot of this can be reflected in his 5th house. The house of creativity, expression, creation. His 5th cusp is also in Scorpio. 5th house in water tend to be really drawn to arts and music. Having a Scorpio moon, a moon sign that can be quite guarded, in a fire house can also explain his readiness/openness to share his emotions and art. Also let's not forget his chart ruler is his Scorpio moon in 5th! What I've wrote above are big themes in his life, which we've seen.

✦ As for the Pluto in 5th. Because his 5th house is in Scorpio this would mean the 5th ruler is in 5th. I know it might not make sense at first because it's pluto and pluto is misunderstood. But it makes perfect sense to me. Pluto in 5th is a deeply passionate and creative placement. It bring so much energy to this house, and can even create a borderline obsession with themes of this house. With creating and expressing. But I could also see having this and his scorpio moon in this house bringing so much energy, it just kind of adds to the confusion and intensity of a scorpio moons emotions and processing abilities, like, emotionally overwhelming. Scorpio moons always need an outlet and they usually figure that out the hard way at some point in life. The outlet can vary based off the chart, his is without a doubt connected to his art; whatever that may be to him.

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Aquarius Uranus in 8th:

✦ This part is brief because it's more of like, additional details to what's already in his chart. Something that is really well known about Renjun too is how much he is into space and aliens and stuff like that. He, once again, has been very open about it lol on variety shows I've seen him light up every time its briefly mentioned and he'll comment on how much he finds that stuff interesting. The 8th house is weird, it can manifest in a lot of different ways. The biggest point here for me is that the house is in Aquarius with Uranus here. I know someone with this placement too and, while they're open minded to astrology and tarot etc. it's a bit more focused on logic. I can't say for sure because I don't know him, but he kind of strikes me as the kind of person that would fight to death over aliens existing, but draws the line at astrology lol. I actually do think he would be open to astrology and tarot, but he'd need the right introduction to it. Anyways, yea this placement to me explains a lot of his interest in space and things we don't understand. He's expressed his curiosity in it. I think a lot of this is coming from his Scorpio moon and Pisces mercury/venus which is why I think it's just additional support.

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Pisces Mercury/Venus in 9th:

✦ THIS HOUSE right here... so much to say. Firstly, Pisces in 9th is probably one of the main culprits for his creativity, deep thinking and curiosity in the world. And more importantly: his imagination. I've mentioned this a lot when I talk about renjun but, he's very well known for his creativity, but I want to make it clear that there is a distinction between creation and imagination. His imagination is truly... on another level. Well, planet actually since it's pisces! Again, amongst fans it's really well known his imagination is just so unqiue. This is less about the 9th house and more about the fact that he has 2 pisces placements but it still affects it lol. He's very open about his imagination and speaks about it so naturally. He shared his drawing of a bird, hybrid, thing? and how it's an animal that steals your dreams in your sleep. Anyways, Pisces in 9th aren't necessarily the travelers we'd see with an air or fire sign here, but they like to travel mentally. He's also talked about how he's just in general a very curious person and you can tell his thoughts probably travel far and wide in his down time.

✦ What's really interesting to me about this house is his mercury is here and Mercury in 9th is a very specific kind of placement. It almost always guarantees an interest and talent in learning languages. I don't know if languages are necessarily a passion for him but he definitely is interested and cares about learning language and other cultures. He also did pick up on Korean and English with ease. Which also reminds me that, he actually was exposed to Korean at a young age because I'm pretty sure he went to a bilingual school (chinese and korean). This is also a big deal to me because planets in 9th, especially sun/mercury often indicate very early exposure to languages or other cultures... so yea that checks out. This can also be proved by looking at his IC in Virgo, which puts the ruler in 9th. His mercury is also sextile Jupiter. I also wanna comment that he has his Mercury in the 5th degree, I'm not great at degree theory yet but that feels significant to me. Of course we cannot forget his absolutely angelic voice. Renjun is also very well known for his stunning vocals. Not only are Pisces placements musically inclined but Pisces mercury are known for their sweet voices.

✦ As for the venus is 9th, I feel like I have more to say on his venus being in Pisces because that's where so much of his artistic creativity and imagination come from. But venus here adds to a lot of what I've written above, adding to his curiosity of the world. What I find most interesting about venus in 9th though, is it brings another inclination to art! He might really like art from different places in the world, or just exploring all types of art being very open minded to its different forms etc. Venus here also brings ease to language learning, and these people will naturally have other cultures and people from them as a big part of their life. I feel like, in general it's not surprising at all to me that as a foreign member (being from China), that he would have 9th house influence! It can often manifest as like.., travel, other languages, cultures and parts of the world etc. are just very naturally a part of their life. Some people never really contemplate life overseas or in another country. But for 9th housers, it's never not been an option. His 9th house influence can also make him a great teacher, mentor and just overall supportive person. We've seen some of this in the content he's made with NCT. Like trying to teach his members chinese with Chenle, except he was taking it way more seriously lol but was so supportive. He's also tried to get Jeno and Jisung involved in his art making, but keeping the process very open and fun.

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Aries sun, Taurus mars in 10th:

✦ This is the last part I'm going to cover because it is really just the icing on the cake to finish this up. The 10th house is considered pretty important when looking at celebrities/idols because it's very likely a lot of what we see from them is their 10th house influence. In the chart model I'm using for Renjun, it puts his MC in the very last degrees of Pisces, so there's a chance it's in Aries but either way with his sun and mars here they are still playing a big role. So for that reason, I'm opting for Pisces MC. I also think Pisces MC fits though because first it puts the ruler in his 7th house. Meaning he could really benefit and work well in something that involves a group! Because it's Pisces in Neptune, it also adds to his very ethereal vibe and how people just seem to love him wherever he goes. He's very magnetic and can come off as artistic and sensitive. He's known for being dreamy, unreal, artistic, sensitive.

✦ Again, we know he has an aries sun and taurus mars so I'm not going to explain them here, just how they affect the house, but having his these here makes so much sense to me too. Having planets in 10th also influences what kind of "vibe" people get from you, and what you're "known" for. Mars and Sun bring similar energy of being well known for for energy, drive, and even stage presence. Not being afraid to be on stage, being good with attention and spotlight. He's known for his kind of playful and childish behavior at times. He is charismatic, bold, brave, happy and upbeat. With the sun, he is again known for his creativity and creations and also self-expression.

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Thank you to anyone who read all this. I don't really expect many people to because I'm mostly writing this for my own curiosity and to finally just put this theory out there! Anyways, stan Renjun best boy <33

Thoughts and feedback are always welcome <3

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[chastiefoul]

secret. | itafushi

in which Fushiguro and Itadori are dating in secret.

and it was going all great and good

until Itadori accidentaly kissed Fushiguro in front of their whole group of friends.

---

Needless to say, it was kind of a great night.

With both, 1st and 2nd year trio hanging around in the common room watching some stupid movie—that’s what they decided to call it after Itadori chose it- cramped around each other, because no one really wanted to give up the couch and sat on the floor.

Well, not really everyone is cramped up. Maki—of course, got to sit alone on the single couch all because she won the rock paper scissors tournament, and when that settled no one really wanted to rechallenge the scary master of cursed weapons now, did they?

Panda and Inumaki had also luckily managed to win the double couch, already making themselves comfortable. And given how unlucky the first years track record was—like having to fight a literal special grade cursed spirit on their very first mission, the three of them had to sit pressed against each other on the another double couch available there.

It was right then Itadori, Fushiguro, and Kugisaki made an unspoken agreement that as soon as their damn white-haired teacher comes back from his usual shenanigans, they would rightfully demand another place to sit they deserved immediately. Literally these guys had to risk their lives every time a mission comes up and they couldn’t even get a proper common room where everyone could sit comfortably.

Though, it’s not like these situations didn’t bring certain advantages to certain boys who are dating in secret.

The atmosphere was strangely quiet, only the sound of the tv continued along the nightfall. They’re all focused on the movie that Itadori had specially hand-picked from his personal collection. He felt strangely smug about that—fortunately no one has said anything about it.

But the thing is, being the guy who recommended to film means that you’ve already watched it. And it’s only normal to find some parts of it were pretty boring when you already knew what’s going to happen.

Itadori yawned, feeling the drowsiness coming. Kugisaki that was leaning to him mumbled on his right shoulder, “You tired?” Her eyes still on the moving screen. “Nah, just sleepy,” Itadori responded, finding himself staring Fushiguro on his left. He thought about how great it was if he could snuggle up against the boy and just sleep right then, but couldn’t, since they both agreed to wait for more time until telling the group about their relationship.

It wasn’t long before Fushiguro noticed the lingering gaze, returning the stare with one of his own. “What?” He whispered exasperatedly, yet gentle, like a newfound fondness in what he considered to be annoying before. Itadori just smiled, letting out the quietest mutter he could manage, “Nothing, you’re just too pretty I couldn’t help it.”

The raven-haired male only cringed at how cheesy it sounded but still blushed, nonetheless. “The embarrassing things that came out from your mouth sometimes..” He held the cushion pillow closer to his face, in an attempt to hide the color that was creeping up to his cheeks, though it wasn’t really doing much since the room was already dim.

Suddenly Itadori felt a sharp nudge on his right side, making him double over in pain. “Shut up with your whispering over there, some of us are trying watch!” Kugisaki hissed, clearly infuriated. “Salmon,” Inumaki chimed in, seeming like agreeing to what the redhead had to say.

Itadori only chuckled without any remorse.

“Fine I’ll be quiet! Geez. This could be considered bullying, y’know,” he mumbled the last part, Kugisaki made a face at this, ready to give him a second violent nudge. Itadori raised both of his arm, surrendering. He could feel Fushiguro’s body shook, holding his laughter. Itadori softened.

If he could see Fushiguro’s smile then all is good.

Another fifteen minutes passed, Itadori couldn’t take it anymore. He’s extremely sleepy. As good as the movie was, it’s not really fun anymore to watch for the second time, especially for someone who got easily bored. He let out another yawn,

“I think I’m gonna go back to my room, enjoy the rest of the movie everyone, good night.” Everyone offered a curt hum, one or two of them mumbled wishing him a good night as well.

He got up, giving Fushiguro a small peck under his eye.

It was not until too late and everyone had stared at him that he realized, he just kissed Fushiguro in front of them, the very people who they’ve been desperately hiding the relationship from.

Itadori would be fine with some cheering, or a hundred bombarding questions, or maybe something else, really, anything besides this complete and utter silence. This unbearable stillness that demanded explanations about what it was that Itadori just did.

“Th-there was an eyelash on Fushiguro’s cheek!”

Even Fushiguro’s demon dogs knew that wasn’t a very smart answer.

“So like a normal person you decided to pick it up with your mouth?” Maki asked, drawing her hand up to fix her glasses’ placement.

“That’s unsanitary,” Panda said disapprovingly while Inumaki only nodded along.

“What?! How was it different than kissing a person?” Itadori retorted, Fushiguro wished that the older male would just stop talking. None of the thing he said had helped their now futile attempt in keeping their relationship a secret.

“So you were kissing him then?” Kugisaki smirked, the four of them succeeded on cornering Itadori to where they wanted.

“There was no kiss, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Itadori stubbornly deflect, bringing his gaze elsewhere. “No? So nothing like the one like last week when both of you were in the kitchen making dinner?” Maki said, now wearing a similar smug smirk like Kugisaki. “Or that time at night after a mission before you both went back to your respective rooms?” She continued, merciless.

By then Itadori and Fushiguro’s faces had turned red in shame, the pink-haired boy a spluttering mess, the younger boy had his face so deep on the cushion he’s holding, wishing it would open a hole similar to a shadow puddle he summoned on a daily basis and swallowed him already.

“Right, I also saw you two on the training ground a few days back, underneath the tree, K-I-S-S-“ Panda followed, tone mischievous.

“Ah!! Stop, stop!!” Itadori cut him off, before he could totally die out of mortification.

His friends already knew, they already knew and didn’t say anything to him. He remembered all those times thinking he was being sneaky when it turns out, they all already knew, even worse, they saw it all!

“I can’t believe none of you guys said anything until now!” Itadori yelled, though it lacked bark seeing his neck still in a color similar to his uniform’s hood. “Please, it’s not like we had to see you guys kiss to know you both are dating, you flirt with him in broad daylight every damn day, have some shame!” Kugisaki yelled back, now standing up pointing his index finger sharply to the other male.

“Wha-well, in my defense, Fushiguro likedit!” He blurted out, making the entire room spared their attention to the shadowcurses-wielder.

If Fushiguro didn’t want to die before, now he definitely does.

“Oh? Why are my cute students still up this late at night?” Said a familiar playful voice, making everyone turned their heads to the source of sound. Gojo had come back from whatever business he was attending to. Honestly no one asked anything about it anymore, the guy’s too vexatious.

Itadori saw this distraction as an opening, he dashed past his teacher, grabbing along Fushiguro with him.

“Nothing at all, Gojo-sensei, me and Fushiguro were just about to go back to our own room!” The older male shouted, running to the direction of their rooms.

-

It seemed like they were both saved, because Fushiguro honestly didn’t know how to respond to that kind of thing. Relieve washed over him, seeing the sight of his own room’s door. A safe place. But forget about that.

Fushiguro thwacked Itadori over the head, it didn’t hurt, it never did. “Are you an idiot, saying things like that in front of everyone?” He sighed relently, his cheeks somewhat still a bit warm. He was actually glad by the sudden development of the event, Itadori really looked like he was really troubled then.

“Ehh?” Itadori leaned in upon hearing that, putting his both of his hands on the dark-haired male either sides, trapping him against the wall between their room. He’s pouting. “But you do like it, right?” His eyebrow furrowed in worry, searching Fushiguro’s expression.

The latter man only squirmed at the sudden proximity; his face returned to a color of crimson.

“Of course I do,” he mumbled, looking away. Fushiguro’s eyes glistened with peeking moonlights, his eyelashes moved gently along the breeze of wind over the opened window. What a stunning sight, Itadori thought.

He sneaked a hand below his lover’s jaw, leading his stare back to him. The usual goofy expression on Itadori’s face was gone, replaced by a serious one. Like finding a chore that had to be done immediately, the urgence on the boy in front of him was pulling Fushiguro in, he shivered in excitement.

Finally their lips met, for a moment, nothing else mattered.

It was only a quick kiss, but still sweet nonetheless, considering the smile they have on their features.

A realization dawned upon them suddenly. Perhaps the real problem here all along was that they need to stop kissing in places like hallways if they really want people to not know. They only looked at each other, knowing that the matter was far from over since they practically ran away from the situation.

They can only imagine how troublesome tomorrow’s going to be.

“We don’t learn, do we?”

“I guess we don’t.”

They smiled.

[btsandvmin]

Vmin song analysis - Winter in August - Part 4

Since this analysis ended up being so long it has been divided in parts. This is part 4. If you haven’t read part 1, 2 or 3 yet I recommend doing so. This is the final part.

This started as a Spring Day analysis, but it has since grown immensely. I actually rather call it a thematic analysis or something, and while Spring Day is still at the core of it all, I go through many songs and details outside of Spring Day connections.

Taehyung obviously loves Spring Day a lot, and Jimin does too. It might seem weird to make a Vmin analysis out of Spring Day, but I just felt there was enough surrounding things to talk about. Even if they might be coincidence I do personally think they fit it very well with the other song theories I have made, and I have even mentioned Spring Day a few times before. As usual I suggest reading my other song analyses before you get into this one. You can find them all in My masterpost

I am going to talk mostly about connections that Taehyung has made and how he seems to use a lot of similar themes and references, but also things possibly connecting Vmin and Spring Day.

Lyrics and theme

Choreo and MV

Taehyung’s (and Jimin’s) love for Spring Day

Connections to Vmin’s songs

Overlapping themes

Other connections to Vmin

Taehyung's songs not being all he wants to say

Taehyung’s mixtape

Summary

In this part I will focus on Taehyung and things he has mentioned in regards to making songs. Mostly I will speculate about the mixtape and then there is a final summary of this series of posts and the things I found the most interesting to keep in mind.

This is the last part and also the shortest one. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this, so before anything I just want to say thank you all for reading, and hope that you found this analysis worth your time.

7 - Taehyung’s songs not being all he wants to say

This isn’t related to Vmin, but I also want to mention how it seems some songs of Taehyung might be a bit held back, or at least that he might not fully be able to express all he wants in them.

The first example is how Namjoon says this about 4 o’clock in his fan café post:

"Through this song, Taehyung may not be able to express all of his emotions, but I hope that we'll be able to express it as much as possible. I hope it is the closest expression of Taehyung's dawn!"

To me this all sounds like an important moment for Taehyung, with emotions he wanted to express. And Namjoon points out Taehyung might not be able to express "all of his emotions" as read in his fan café post. If this was all I might not react because I can understand it might be difficult for someone else to truly understand and fully express something that comes from someone else. For Stigma Namjoon also said it "sounds like Taehyung has his own story". But of course for most of their solo songs on Wings we didn’t get to hear all that much of the meaning behind them.

But somehow there are a few of these expressions and examples where it really seems like Taehyung might be held back somewhat, perhaps in particular when it comes to songwriting.

There is of course the Christmas song, and that is probably the most direct example. Even more so relevant from a Vmin perspective because it also touches on the subject of romantic expressions between Vmin because of the lyrics being “not fit for two men to sing” and being denied for that reason.

Then we also have the way Taehyung spoke about Sweet Night and Inner Child. 

First in this Vlive with Namjoon, where he said he tends to write what he has felt himself when speaking about Inner Child.

In the same clip Taehyung also said it was difficult to get to express the things he wanted. That the staff had a hard time and that he wasn't able to realize what was in his mind. But it’s very difficult to say if this was about sound or lyrics/expression.

It’s really impossible to make a song analysis for Vmin and not reference other analysis of other songs at this point... But I’ve talked about Sweet Night before in Sweet Night - Song analysis and HERE.

But then he later on also confirmed in an interview that Sweet Night in particular was meant for his mixtape, and thus not meant for the drama. Once again it’s a song that starts from Taehyung’s feelings.

We know that Taehyung likes to write things he has felt, and we know he has sometimes seemingly had struggles to express those things. I don’t know if these other examples (except with Happy Christmas) are more about being unable to express it because he doesn’t know how, but it could also be him not being able to express certain things.

Because then there is the "Tone it down" comment he apparently got to hear from Bang PD which Taehyung mentioned in relation to the making of BE when talking about his own mixtape.

Yoongi brings up a valid question, because while we know that Blue & Grey is a song that talks about Tae’s hardships and that BTS in general can bring up “darker” topics. We don’t know if this was a comment on a particular song or if Tae had several and we have no clue to what kind of details they might want Taehyung to tone down. I do know many (not just Vminies) have wondered if it might be LGBT+ related, but again we only have speculations here.

Speaking of LGBT+ I also can’t help but notice that there are 3 possible LGBT+ references in Taehyung’s songs. The first and most obvious being the lyric reference to the movie Moonlight in 4 o’clock, secondly the cover of Confessions of a mask seemingly being used as inspiration for imagery in Singularity, and thirdly the “You make me want to be a better man” line from Snow Flower being a possible reference from the movie As good as it gets. On top of this there is of course Happy Christmas basically being denied because it’s romantic lyrics that isn’t “fit” for Vmin to sing together.

I think that the music Taehyung makes is very important and personal to him, as he has said as much. I think it says very much that 4 o’clock and Happy Christmas involve Jimin to some extent at least and that Taehyung has many times talked about giving Jimin songs. If Taehyung is held back, it’s understandable that he would get frustrated. I think we even have a direct example with how he expressed the problem with his Christmas song live to us all.

What Taehyung gives us is things he wants to talk about and express, which to me is just another example of why looking at Taehyung and what he says and does kind of brings a bit more weight to any shipping or relationship conversation about him. 

Lyrics like “sharing my fragile truth” or “I'll be back to tell another story of mine” to me in combination with the way he emphasis wanting to be honest and write about things he has felt is just another layer to Taehyung’s songs I find interesting.

What all these examples brings to mind to me as a Vminie is the Vmin Unit interview and Taehyung's "As honestly as possible".

For me it feels like Taehyung is telling us his story and his feelings “as well as he can” by expressing things through his songs, but that there could be reasons he isn’t saying everything he wishes he could say and perhaps even that the company might advise him to keep some things a bit more vague.

8. Taehyung’s mixtape

There are a few interesting aspects about Taehyung’s mixtape and what we might get on it and this section will be more speculation and theories about upcoming things.

First of all we know that Taehyung said there is a song that will be very similar to 4 o’clock on his mixtape (he talked about this the same day as Vmin’s unit interview for Friends). Another translation explains it as more of a “continuation” of 4 o’clock, which is definitely interesting if that’s the case.

Then there is just the general fact that Vmin seem very interested in collaborating and show a lot of interest in each other’s music in general. 

We also got Taehyung mention he is writing a song for sleepless nights when he had a conversation with an ARMY on weverse May 4th 2020, meaning after the release of Sweet night but before Blue and Grey.

We did also get a snippet of the song “Sleep” on April 21st 2021 (at 4.24 am) so that could also have been the song he was talking about. Regardless Taehyung is really using this theme a lot.

We also got some interesting things from Taehyung which people wonder if it might have to do with his mixtape and a new song. It started on April 1st when Tae came back to Weverse after a while and, amongst others, commented on this post by an ARMY.

This is a very small detail, but the ARMY mentions Jimin as “a soft sunny spot of a spring day” and Taehyung as “the gentle breeze that brushes against your skin...” and Taehyung’s reply uses spring flowers (cherry blossoms) fluttering in the breeze. To be fair this is a reach, and it wouldn’t be weird if Tae didn’t think about Jimin’s role being in spring at all.

Then he tweeted about a song called Loop (by Peakboy) along with some cherry blossoms and a new expression.

Most interesting here is perhaps the line about “I am starting to feel more comfortable in the darkness.” As we know Taehyung seems to find the night sweet now, and this is another example that might point at it being something that has changed over time.

Then there is the "I flower purple you", which seems to be Taehyung's new name for cherry blossoms (or he just didn't have any better emoji). And if so the possibility of what that love means and how it can connect to spring and possibly Jimin (through his “Not Tata. It’s the face of I purple you” comment).

So we have the purple flower on the cover of Snow Flower and then Tae using Cherry blossoms together with the new tag. I am just saying that if Spring is a possible topic for a song on Taehyung’s album, I will be very curious to see what it says.

We also have Jimin drawing a Cherry blossom tree on his shoes in ITS. If Taehyung has been thinking about adding a song to his mixtape which uses references to spring or even more Cherry blossoms in particular, it’s possible Jimin was perhaps thinking of this song while choosing his motif. But this is definitely a reach and likely has no bigger meaning except that Jimin finds Cherry blossoms pretty.

And just recently at 4 o’clock in the morning on August 27th 2021 we had Jimin post “I miss you every single day” which does match with the lyrics of Spring Day “보고싶다”, though I definitely think this is too common to mean anything.

Still, there are a lot of small things to find, and either I am just finding things because I am looking, or there might be something to it. There are just a lot of matching things at this point, and I don’t know if they all can be random coincidences even though I am sure some of them are.

I don’t know if Taehyung will release his mixtape, or if he does if it will be what he wanted or at least started originally, but I hope he can release and sing the songs he wants to sing. Either way I will look forward to whatever he decided to share and am curious what stories he will sing about next.

9 - Summary

Spring Day was released in February 2017 as an addition to the Wings album on You never walk alone. Meaning it also comes very soon after Lie and Stigma which both have these themes of being in pain and feeling bad about themselves. There are also a lot of songs from Taehyung in particular (but also Jimin) about wanting to be together with someone but either having to wait or being unsure about the future. The time of release is the beginning of 2017, more precisely in February which was also a very good time for Vminies, not the least since we got the Soulmate claim. It was in other words during the Spring Day/Not today era where Vmin first claimed each other as soulmates in public.

If we put together that Taehyung both references the scene in 4 o'clock which Jimin is linked to, and uses scenes from Spring Day for Scenery it's possible Taehyung has done these references because they have personal meaning to him. And it's possible that since one of those references (4 o’clock) might be connected to Jimin that the other one (Spring Day) might be as well. Again, keep in mind the lyrics of Spring Day and in particular how it includes "you're my best friend" and how Taehyung has also used “Are you my best friend?” in the lyrics of Sweet Night which is also romantic.

Now of course this is all under the assumption that Winter Bear and Scenery too could be Vmin songs, but even if they aren’t at the very least it does seem to be examples of Spring Day being very important and inspiring for Taehyung. He references Spring Day directly for his own promotion of both Scenery and Winter Bear and considering the lyrics and themes I do think the songs could have connections through inspiration at least. If you want to read more on why those songs have other connections to Jimin you can also read my posts Vmin - Scenery, Promise and song connections and Vmin - Winter Bear analysis.

What we end up with are these:

Possible similar themes and lyrics between Spring Day and other Taehyung songs.

Possible thematic similarities for Jimin's songs as well.

Jimin and Taehyung both loving Spring Day and creating moments with each other during it.

Hobi referencing Spring Day in reaction to a Vmin moment.

Spring Day possibly being referenced for 4 o’clock release.

Spring Day being directly referenced in relation to Scenery twice.

Spring Day being referenced with the release promo for Winter Bear.

The possible scene between Vmin in the park from 4 o’clock being referenced in Scenery (also the release time of the teaser), meaning in extension Spring Day references to Scenery could have a connection to the same person.

Vmin both having a certain love for the winter season and night which they have used in their songs.

Friends including "Cold winters" as something they have gone through together.

Friends including them saying they want to stay together forever.

An interesting timeline with how Vmin was during Spring Day era and what songs Tae wrote around that time.

Many of the expressions in Taehyung’s songs matching how he talks and thinks about Jimin.

12 out of 13 songs having either the theme of Night/Day or Winter. And 4 out of these songs having confirmed direct links between Vmin.

As usual there are a lot of things in the details that are much more difficult to know if they have meaning or not, but at the very least there are many things that fits with the narrative that Spring Day means a lot to Taehyung and that he could be influenced by the themes and how they also match well with Jimin in particular.

If I would sum it up with Vmin as characters in this ongoing narrative in their songs it would look something like this:

Taehyung's perspective: It's difficult and he wonders what the future holds. He's unsure and doesn't know if he can pull Jimin closer even if he wants to and even if Jimin seems to feel the same it seems like a double edged sword. Being hidden or them not being able to be together as more than friends is something he struggles with. He wants to express himself and he tries through his songs. But even if they have each other now and he seems to gradually get more used to the "Night/Winter" over time, it is a constant struggle. He wishes that he was stronger, but Jmin being there with him helps him.

Jimin's perspective: We don't have as many songs from Jimin, so perhaps he doesn’t have as much of a need to express himself outwards in general. He is better at being ok with what they have, or at least at seeming like it. 'I say that it's all okay. But maybe that's not what I truly think.'. He can "sleep" early on and he smiles even though the smiles aren't always happy, and in contrast Taehyung can't. Basically what Jimin is doing is being better at hiding it. But Jimin also wants Taehyung to be his own light and night. In it all he also promises to stay and that Taehyung is his and expresses how he wants to be together when BTS is over.

I guess you could say that winter has been a hibernation period for their relationship. In particular for Jimin. But now they can both enjoy even this period because unlike earlier they are waiting together, they have reached each other, they can hold hands and give each other warmth when they need it. They know where they stand and have mostly reconciled with the thought of waiting to be together properly. Even if it's always going to be difficult.

I might be taking some of the lyrics a bit too literally. Either way it seems both of them are more ok with the current situation compared to before. To me if there is a Vmin perspective here it seems to slowly change with time in how they express it but that the want and wish to be together has always been there. It also seems possible that finally after all this time and uncertainty some things have become easier, and that there might even be change towards something even better in the future.

I’ve been working on this theory for a long time. Like I said, the original plan was to post on February 13th for the anniversary. But it was a lot bigger and took more time than expected. I also didn’t expect Taehyung to give me new reasons to raise my eyebrows. One being this new song 'Sleep' with it’s lyrics, and the other being the cherry blossoms he posted about. I am very curious to see what we might get for KTH1 when it comes out.

Spring is coming.

(Ok sorry for the joke but I am actually scared if Spring would be coming in regards to Taehyung's song narrative. Way more scary than Winter coming if you ask me.)

[digipaw2-0]

The newest event in Obey Me is horribly unfair to F2P players

Hello, I absolutely love this game and want it to grow and last a long time, I’ve been playing since day 1 and love it to bits. But, in the most recent events I’ve noticed a terrible trend, the events are slowly getting increasingly impossible for F2P players. 

Back in the earlier events a player only needed about 60,000 points to get past pg.1, but in the most recent event you need 95,000 to get past page 1.

This is not good and, as a game designer,  I feel I should express my concern and explain why I feel this. Under the cut you will see my reasoning and thought process. 

The event that is currently happening as I make this is the Paws and Claws event 

The cheat cards for this event are:

I’ll break down the total bonus point amounts for each card

SR Lucifer: +6 for first copy +1 every skill LV

SR Beel:  +6 for first copy +1 every skill LV

SSR Mammon: +18 for first copy +4 every skill LV

UR Satan: +36 for first copy +6 every skill LV

UR Asmo: +36 for first copy +6 every skill LV

I will also like to establish how many stages there are for each page of the event, this event has 2 pages of levels with a grand total of 26 stages

Each stage lets you play 3 times for free each day, costing 8AP each 

the player also gets 5 extra plays from watching ads, so if we take 26 x 3 + 5 = 83 plays per day, 

Then we take 83s x 8e = 664  energy needed per day to get each free play per day. 

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Now for the next section lets assume that the player did not get any of the cheat cards and only has the default 120 points per play. 

83s x 120p = 9,960 points per day

9960p x 11d = 109,560 total points during the event

109,560 is just over the final amount for the first page, getting them the SR demon card for the event. But this is assuming the player is able to do the Max amount of free plays each day which is easier said then done.

lets start by seeing how much energy the player gets during the typical day just via time.

The player gets 1 energy every 5 minutes with a cap of 100 (120 if VIP) that means that if we 24 x 60= 1440 then 1440 / 5 = 288 per day 

that still leaves us 376 energy short of the needed 664 energy.  so now lets add in the other free energy in a day

+60 from the daily 2 Beel missions

+30 from Ads

+20 from daily missions

+20 from interacting with demons after stages

potentially +50 from friends

= 180 energy from secondary sources

this gives us a total of 468 still 196 energy from the needed 664. And lets keep in mind that getting the 468 implys that the player is playing PERFECTLY doing everything every day. there are a few other ways of getting energy, such as the 30-50 energy we occasionally get in the gift box once a day, but that is not consistent, same with the energy gained from login bonuses. 

There is also the energy from the event its self which has 230 energy available on the 1st page, but it should be viewed as a last resort boost when you need it so I recommend saving them for the half part of the event. 

the way the player would be able to get the last remaining energy is from the daily flash sale where the player can get 200 energy for 10dp, but this will need the player to pay 100dp during the entire event, half of the daily intake of DP from daily missions. 

But lets assume the player does not want to spend the 10dp, or does not see the flash sale since sometimes they take forever to show up. what is the total points they can get with the free energy they are given each day? 

468 / 8 = 58.8, but we cant do .8 of a stage so 58.

58s x 120e = 6960 points

6960p x 11d = 76,560 points during the event

this will get you just above 2/3 of the way though the 1st pg, THE FIRST PAGE, so unless the player is willing to spend DP on refilling energy they are stuck without even getting the SR Demon card for this event.  --------------------------------------------------

Now lets assume the F2P player is willing to go all out with the DP they do have for this event, how far can they get while still having 0 cheat cards?

The player gets 18DP everyday for doing daily missions, and roughly 50DP from the event. 

this means they will get about 248DP during the event not counting any extras from other missions, devil tree, or potential compensation gifts.  if you deduct the 100DP from the daily flash energy flash sale that leaves 148DP for other purposes, such as stage and normal energy refills. 

it cost 5DP to refill 3 plays of a stage, so they can refill stages about 29 times, meaning roughly 87 more plays which will still only give them 10,440 more points getting them a grand total of exactly 120,000 points in this event not even the half way mark of the second page. At that point I personally don’t think it would be worth using the 148DP to get to that point, id suggest saving them or using them for the LV up flash sale since at least then you get 5 vouchers.

so to be clear, a F2P player with 0 cheat cards can only get around 120,000 points without spending money.

but this means they will be using all their DP on energy and stage refills, when I imagine most F2P would rather save for the level up flash sale for the 5 Demon Vouchers. 

This also assumes the player is playing absolutely perfectly, without missing any Energy drops, which can be very hard for people to maintain while also sleeping, for 11 days in a row as from personal experience it gets harder to maintain as time goes on. 

---------------------------------------------------

What does this mean? 

I believe this is unfair for F2P players, especially when you look at past events when it  would only take about 60,000 points for the first page, each event for the past few have raised the amount by about 10,000 - 20,000 thousand points which if they keep this up it will be almost impossible for F2P players to keep up. I understand that this is a company that needs money to run and continue creating this game we all love, but making it so the game is only viable for whales is not the way to go. 

when it comes to mobile games there are roughly 3 categories of players

whales - big spenders

dolphins - people who spend some but not a large amount

Free 2 Play - do not spend

as a whole Whales tend to only make up a small portion of the player base, just look at the people in the top 10 of the current event. 

See how quickly the numbers drop from absolute lunacy to more reasonable amounts (still a lot) meaning thousands of dollars difference between the people who payed enough money to reach that point. So by appealing to only those people they are alienating 90% of the player base, which is a very bad idea. 

By alienating the majority of players they risk loosing the currently very active fan base around the game, as people get more and more frustrated and eventually give it up out of frustration. Obey me has been very lucky to attract such a large fanbase so quickly, its only about 6 months old at the time that i’m writing this and its already has a massive and active fanbase creating tons of fanwork and engaging with each other. But if people start to feel like the game doesn't care about them and only caters to Whales they will stop playing and the community will slowly start to wither.

--------------------------------------------------

My Suggestions 

Several months ago Solmare listened to the feedback from players about how unfair they thought the events were and listened, they doubled the event stages allowing people to get more points then they could before, making it so F2P players could get to the end of the 2nd page if they put in the work. But by raising the point totals needed to get though the pages they are making that change completely redundant. Leaving us with events that take twice the amount of work for the same rewards as before. I understand they are figuring this out as they go and adjusting events constantly trying to work out a balance, but what they currently have is not good for the games long term as it will alienate a large section of the fan base. 

I believe that that they should either lower the total points needed for each page or raise the default point total, to make it so a F2P player with 0 cheat cards can get to the end of the first page without spending any DP

if they put in the work. Then make it so people who have summoned some SRs and a SSR cheat card can get to the 2nd page reliably, then the 3rd page+ can be for people who are willing to spend money and or are just lucky enough in the gacha. this way there is still the incentive for people to pay money if they want to, but don’t feel like they are forced to. (Although I imagine people are already spending a lot in the gacha to get the cards they want anyway)  

F2P people will still not be able to always get to page 3+ but this will also help long term for if/when they decide to do event re-runs. Since it would give players who where around for the first time something to still work for since they will likely be able to get the shards needed the 2nd time though. 

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What can you and I do?

It may not feel like we can do much about this, but Solmare has listened to the fans before. We also know that some of them do look at the content fans make and discuss.

SO talk about it, Tweet at them, share your displeasure, show your friends have them tweet it out, talk about it on the facebook page (be civil though), just kick up a fuss so they can see how much this is hurting the player base.  if you don’t know what to say to them, you can even tweet this at them, copy and past it, do what ever, just let them know how upset you are. 

Thank you for reading! and please, reblog this and spread it so others can see it. 

[mhdiaries]

SDCC 2015 Kieran Valentine Diary

May 1st

When I left Monster High after Draculaura’s Sweet 1,600 birthday party, I was angry, humiliated and stinky from falling into that pit of eternal body odor. I stank so bad, Mom wouldn’t even let me in the house: I had to sleep in the guest room above the garage. Looking back, I can see it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. Even my considerable powers to charm were no match for the power of the stench that surrounded me. My powers slowly weakened as I was deprived of what sustained them: the love I selfishly took from others. I was in a stench-induced imprisonment - rarely leaving the garage - but it allowed me time to do some serious thinking, and I realized I wasn’t being true to myself. Then one day there was a knock at my door, and I opened it to see a little old goblin woman with a cane staring up at me through thick glasses. “I’m Mrs. Goblin, but you can call me “Mrs. Goblin.” I’m a friend of your mother’s.” She said, “you need to get out of that room, and I need some help, so let’s go.” She turned and walked off, and, with nothing left to lose, I followed. It turned out that she ran an unwanted-creature shelter and couldn’t keep up with all the cleaning, feeding and daily upkeep. It also turned out that she had no sense of smell. “Lost it back in ‘72,” she told me. Mrs. G. ran me through the daily routines and gave me the tour. “You can start today,” she said as she handed me a mop and a bucket. It’s hard to believe I agreed, but I didn’t have any other options. The shelter was home to an unusual collection of exotic creatures: gremlins, flying monkeys, lap dragons, miniature manticores, and many others that had been picked up as strays or turned in by monsters who didn’t want them. Even though the work was hard, and not always pleasant, I began to look forward to it. In fact, I usually felt more energized after I finished a day than when I started. I felt my powers returning and every day I got stronger. Eventually, I mentioned it to Mrs. Goblin who snickered, “You emotional vampires never get it - stolen love is just empty calories. I’ll never sustain you for long.” She could tell I still didn’t get it. “Love that’s freely given is the most powerful source of energy in the monster universe. You’ve been coming here every day, taking care of these critters, showing them kindness, and the only thing they have to give you is their love - and believe me, they have a lot to give.” I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. I must have been standing there looking stupid because she said, “Close your mouth before the the flies get in and go clean the flying monkey cage. They’ve been throwing stuff again.” I was in a daze. Why had no one ever explained this to me? Rather than dwelling on it, I was just happy I finally knew. 

May 3rd

I now know that I did it - stealing love - because I thought that’s want an emotional vampire was supposed to do. But it never felt quite right. I thought if I kept doing it, it would eventually feel right. But it only made me angry and frustrated. Then when Draculaura called me - well, Toralei, really - I thought that if I could get the heart that got away, it would change me and everything would be fine. But I was just a real pain in the fang to everyone and made a fool of myself. So I’ve come to a conclusion: being myself has to be easier than not being myself, right? Back then, I hated the thought of who I really was, and that conflict made me become someone who wasn’t me. It’s time to be true to myself, but it’s scary. 

July 1st

Today was my one-year anniversary at the shelter. As I left the garage, I ran into Mom. She sniffed. “You don’t stink anymore.” It was true - the stench was gone. I gave Mom a hug and told her it must be due to what I’d learned from working for Mrs. Goblin. I thanked Mom for telling her I needed help. Mom looked at me strangely, “What are you going on about? I don’t know a Mrs. Goblin.” What? I ran to the shelter but when I got there it was boarded up and empty. How could this be? I crawled through a broken out window. A thick layer of dust covered everything and it looked like no one had been there in years. Then I noticed a piece of paper on the table where Mrs. G. used to sit and drink her tea. It was a not addressed to me:

V, 

There’s nothing more I can teach you. The rest will come when you put what you’ve learned into practice. Know that you are loved for what, and who you are.

Sincerely, 

“Mrs. Goblin”

P.S. Do the right thing or I’ll come back and make you clean out flying monkey cages again. 

July 2nd

I decided that I would try and “do the right thing” by heading back to MH to try and make up for my mistakes. I thought if I hid in the shadows and helped the couples of MH, you know be a Cupid to what was my destruction of love, I could make a difference and they would see that I was a changed monster. Well, my intentions were good, but things did not go as I had planned. I kinda, no, did, mess things up. Luckily, it all seemed to work out in the end, I guess, just not as I had hoped. I don’t think any of Draculaura and her friends will ever really trust me. And while I hope one day they can see I have changed, I know it will take time, too. I guess I can’t expect them to just forgive me right away. I will say one good thing hopefully came out of it. While attempting to hide in the shadows I bumped into a student I didn’t recognize. He said his name was Spelldon Cauldronello, he had only been at MH a couple weeks as he had been traveling with his older sister. Meeting him totally made me space and forget to send a text that was supposed to help Clawd. He asked if I went to MH and I said I was just visiting, but I would love to go to MH one day if I can. He said he’d keep me up on the groanings on around the halls if I wanted, so I gave him my number. At least the trip wasn’t a total stake. I do wish I could figure out how to make it up to Draculaura and her friends though. I know now that real friends help each other with their problems, not try to solve them for them.

July 7th

I was tempted to stay in my room today and treat myself to a monstrous blue funk, but, instead, I walked aimlessly outside until I found myself sitting on the beach watching the sun go down. That’s when I noticed something unusual partially buried in the sand. I pulled it out and die-scovered it was an ornate lantern caked with seaweed. I brushed it off... and got the shock of my unlife! The lantern began vibrating and glowing, like I had awakened something inside and it was not trying to get out. I dropped it like it was hot and fell back as smoke swirled up and out of this thing. When the smoke cleared away there was a ghoul floating above me. “I am the djinni of the lantern. What is your wish?”

July 10th

The djinni’s name is Whisp and we have something in common: the direction of our unlives changed because of Monster High. We shared our stories and struggles; neither of us has made the beast decisions, but we both want to be better monsters. We talked so much that Whisp had to remind me I had three wishes. I asked her I should wish for and she said, “I cannot tell you what to wish for, nor can I tell you what not to wish for, but I can say be scareful what you wish for.” I laughed and told her that sounded ominous. She didn’t see the humor in her statement. “Wishes are tricky things,” she replied, “They often have a mind of their own and don’t always come true in the way you expected.” I thought for a moment, and wish I could go back to Monster High and fix the things I had broken. Whisp rose into the air, her eyes glowing, and said, “As you wish.” Instantly, I was back at Draculaura’s Sweet 1600 party, only I was dressed like a repairman - tool belt and all. Headless Headmistress Bloodgood stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. “You need to repair the barrier around the pit of eternal body odor before another monster falls into it!” This wasn’t what I meant by “fixing what I had broken,” and there was no way I was getting close to that pit again. That’s when the other students saw me. A very large minotaur pointed his finger at me, “There he is again! Throw him back into the pit!” I wished myself out of MH and back in my room just in time to avoid another dunking. Two wishes down, one to go.

July 12th

Whisp has been very apologetic but she needn’t be. I wished for something so general that it could have been granted in numerous ways. What I really wanted was a chance to do something unselfish for the monsters I hurt - to give and not take. When I started working for Mrs. G., there were times I wished what someone else would do the dirty work so I could just play with the creatures. Now I know I just wished it to be easy. Whenever I was in the middle of something particularly loathsome, Mrs. G. would cackle, “Sometimes work stinks, doesn’t it?” The first few times she said it, I wanted to drop everything and go home. But I stuck it out, and, although I still have a long way to go, I’m a better monster for it. Unlife is a lot of work and I guess some problems aren’t meant to be solved by wishing them so. Speaking of wishes, I need to think of something non-ambiguous for the last one...

August 1st

I summoned Whisp today to grant my final wish. I admit I put it off because I was being selfish. I’ve never had a friend like her, and once my last wish is granted, the lantern will move on and I will probably never see her again. I considered freeing her from the lantern, but I don’t think she wants that: she loves being a djinni, appearing in new places and granting wishes. But I know she gets lonely at times, so this was my wish: “Whisp, I wish we could always be friends.” Whisp rose up, her eyes glowing: “As you wish!” I could see her smiling as she turned to smoke and returned to the lantern, which shot up and disappeared. I thought for a second that my wish wasn’t granted, but then my iCoffin lit up and I noticed a new app icon that looked like a little mirror. I tapped it and there was Whisp! Now, not matter where in the monster universe she is, we can talk to each other! “Yes, Mother, I’m talking to myself down here.”