#to get my brain in a good mode
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how do you write so well ? can you give us any tips for anyone who wants to start writing fics ? :)
-anon from France (・ิω・ิ)
of course!!! I'm not gonna lie.... I wing a lot of stuff when I'm writing so I may not be the best at giving very solid advice 😭 but, I will share some tips that helped me, and maybe they can help you too!
practice! def the most obvious one, the more you write the more you'll be able to improve. but practice isn't just writing, you can improve so much more by reading as well. or even watching a show or playing a game, indulging in a story you really love, you can learn much from that story to improve your own writings as well
write like shit! I heard the phrase, "write drunk, edit sober" a little while ago, and it's so perfect to how I feel about the writing process. just write whatever ideas you have, don't stress about your first draft not being good, or not what you'd like. no one can write perfectly on the first try, that's where editing comes in, to smooth out wrinkles and make everything nice. it is perfectly okay if you can only write a simple outline right now because you can come back and make it beautiful. write "lol I don't know what to put here" and come back while editing, put "insert romantic scene here" and continue. and seriously, don't be afraid to write something that's "bad" or "cringe" because nobody will read your first draft but you! just speak from your heart and your head will take it from there! and if you write something you really don't like, you're under no obligation to let anyone see it. writing a bunch of crap is a part of the process. you can never improve if you put yourself down, and don't allow yourself someplace to start
find your own flow! everyone writes different, some environments might work better for you and some might not. some people write while listening to music because it helps, I cannot because my brain would turn pickled. some can write thousands of words per day, some can only write 100. do what is best for you, try different things to learn where your best flow state is. don't push yourself to write when you don't want to or more than you can, your best work will come when you are most comfortable.
write what you want! write the story you want to read. writing is hard, it's often frustrating, but the story you want to tell is something only you can do, that's why no one has told it yet. enjoy the process as much as you can, the bad and the good!
#also this is a more specific tip#but the way I write is like#I warm up first with something small or by reading#to get my brain in a good mode#and then I edit first and then continue writing#editing gives my brain some building blocks to work off of#and I feel better about what I'm putting down#when I can see what I've already made and how far I've come#truly just practicing and never giving up is the best tip I can give you#even when your brain isn't working and you feel like you hate what you're making#don't give up or say you can't do it#I've been writing my entire life#and when I was young I used to hate that tip. 'just practice'#it's very frustrating to face at times#it's okay to be frustrated#but one day you will see how far you've come and be glad you never gave up#not sure if this will help but.... this is what I've got lol#love you anon!!! I'm rooting for you!#ask mags
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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was this anyone else's first thought, or
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#anglerfish#YES hiking jade let's GO#send him up the mountain to look at some funky mushrooms#love how delicately he's holding his lantern with his little pinky out#ooh la la monsieur mastermind#now what are the odds we're getting gargoyle-club malleus next#probably not good but LOOK let me DREAM#i also very much want the equestrian club. GIVE ME HORSE BOYS#actually just give me everyone i want to see everyone#man though the june schedule looking pretty light over here in jp#which always makes me think something big is coming up...#whenever they pull a training camp on us it instantly sends my brain into overthinking mode#chances are good it's more main story though!#we've been averaging every-other-month story updates for a while now and the consistency is nice#i'm still not over the eight months between the end of episode 5 and the start of episode 6...#(IT'S FINE i want them to take all the time they need! i am just impatient)#(i will happily wait but i will be rolling around on the ground the entire time)
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Lads i am afraid that depeche mode has a fucking chokehold on my brain for the foreseeable future. Completely unavoidable and no way to remedy it. Its been nice knowing you all.
#text post tag#depeche mode#genuinely do not remember the last time a group's music grisped my brain so quickly and thoroughly#got me by the fucking brainstem#what can i say. i like a good synth beat and when the vocalist sounds like hes trying to stay composed#whilst getting jerked off in the background
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Damn, that new Star Wars fighting game is looking great! (and silly)
(can you tell that I'm having a lot of fun with these mods)
#i would've taken more screenshots in the SW stage but lighting there isn't good#soul calibur#soul calibur 6#soul calibur vi#vodkalibur#so far i've only found lightsaber mods for these characters#i think someone was working on lightsaber mod for cervantes but didn't finish it#shame bc that would be nice#i love that there is even a mod for ivy's weapon#bc i don't think it's possible to fight with a lightwhip in any of the star wars videogames#(well at least to my knowledge. on wookieepedia it says that it appeared in the force unleashed)#(but i never properly played it so can't say for sure. like i don't think starkiller ever used a lightwhip. if he did do tell me)#man these lightsaber modes just tickle something in my brain that make me happy like a child#and both of my (current) mains have this mod! meaning i actually get to play them
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weirdest casualty of long Covid (besides. yk. the Incurable Disability) is in terms of linguistic processing I can truly no longer talk or sing as fast as I used to
not that I was super fast before, but one of the days I was sickest, words actually stopped... meaning anything? like I was at work, I was hitting my DT script, but was pushing through on pure muscle memory phonetically. I could process what I was hearing or reading just fine, but could not talk outside of this heavily repetitive workplace script, which is actually very dystopian now that I think about it. virus hitting the brain means I'm a zombie that can't speak except to say, "HIII :) whatcanIgetstartedferyouthismorning?"
anyway, thought it was just fatigue, but went to my car on my break, watched a trending video of people trying to rap along to Fergalicious at double speed. I could LIP SYNC to it just fine. I tested my theory. but I could NOT get my mouth and voice to work at the same time to actually sing/rap it. even now, tbh, I have to make myself NOT think about it while rapping it to get the words to flow out or I get stuck. like it's truly something in the brain for where you process speech, but not where you process just lyrical phonics like music. I have to consciously make a REAL effort to turn off the "word" part of my brain to be fast again.
I speak perfectly legibly, I can genuinely get up to decently fast normal talking speeds, just not Northeastern fast-fast. but it comes up in music a surprising amount, and it's kind of annoying to have lost as a skill.
#I honestly attribute some parts of my recovery to truly obnoxious vocal training...#like I HATE having blocked sinuses so I have a technique to basically forcibly drain them w face massage + finding the right notes to sing#that will resonate just enough to open up the back of those mfs and slide everything out#I am also a good one for hitting enunciation exercises as a stim#so shifting to Phonetic Mode in the brain was like... VERY NOTICED but it felt like the Princess Bride left handed duel scene#just switching swords to an equally equipped hand#I also read out loud to myself fairly often now just to re-sharpen the Linguistic side... stuff you'd do for reading & language mastery yk?#idk if I'll ever get the speed back fully except maybe phonetically again but fuck it we move#health
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i don't think i talk enough about how massively obsessed i am with logan sargeant
#he's in my brain like a parasite#there's three logan modes i can be in#RAHHH AMERICA I LOVE AMERICA GOD BLESS AMERICA RAHHHHH 🇺🇸🏈🦅#my baby i love him i want to protect him and hug him and kiss him and tell him he's loves and mwah mwah mwah#FUCK ME GOOD LORD FUCK ME HES SO FUCKING I HOT I WANT HIM SO BAD GRRRRRR 🥵🥵🤤🤤🐶🐶#i'm watching the new team torque video#i need him#i love him#its actually getting so bad#it gets worse by the day#logan sargeant#i started rooting for him cuz patriotism and now i'm crazy attached#f1#formula 1
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PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC.
Sebastian has been searching for himself ever since he has freed himself from the shackles of Arasaka. Stripped from his identity and only just now rediscovering his own agency in life, he struggles with seeing his own worth— too used to existing solely for a purpose, and too used to relying on others' perception of him to define this purpose in the first place. He wants nothing more than to get back to himself; if there even is a self to get back to at all. SEBASTIAN VIDAL || BELONGS TO @MOJAVES.
mahmoud darwish, i didn't apologize to the well // 'out of control', by ruslan isinev // salt in the wound; boygenius // vardges petrosyan, a shirt made of fire // by liam wong // this is love; air traffic controller // bilal al-shams, sacrifice // 'the dying gladiator', by pierre julien // flesh and bone; black math // by hel7l7 // romance; fontaines d.c. // 'the invisible man smokes', rick castro // little words; the happy fits // georges bataille, the dead man // by matthew grant anson // deep water; american authors // kay redfield jamison, an unquiet mind: a memoir of moods and madness
#cp2077#art for others#nuclearedits#favorite blorbo of someone else's brain of all time everyone get the fuck out of the way i have things to do#there's so many other ways this webweave could've gone but i decided to really zoom in on seb's perspective on himself#like obviously it's pretty blatant how arasaka strips test subjects of their identity and like#alienation from oneself through installation of cybernetics and implants forced by megacorporations is always so interesting to me#because if it's not a choice you make but a choice made for you then it makes sense that you can look in the mirror#and just not recognize the person staring back at you#and with the serpent projects there's the added layer of. well essentially mind control. same with the apex program#except here it's through that controlled state of being. arasaka mode. and that plays a huge part in seb's life as well#he believes it dictates everything he does and he defines himself by that alone... believing himself to be a bad person#when there's nothing he can do about any of it and it's not even his fault!!! but like#when all your life choices have been made for you and you finally break free of that but you have nothing of yourself left#then it's really difficult to see your own self-worth when you've been led to believe you only earn that through your purpose#and seb stepped away from what others decided was his purpose. leaving him with nothing#which is why he thinks so low of himself. anyway this isn't my guy but i'm just analyzing him i'm studying him#i'm gonna get a good grade at seb
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Canto 6 was incomplete
Literally why are we there? Like, we just go to a manor that's in t-corp I guess. But why are we there? We've got another Heathcliff and he's cool but he just shows up pissed off for no reason and then we leave? Weird af. Nelly, Linton, and Josephine were cool and Hindley...existed. But it's a weirdly low number of supporting characters, and I guess that 1 really important and cool one could have made up for it but that didn't happen. Even the Mili song felt incomplete, like only 1/2 of it was there! Such an odd choice to make at the halfway mark for our 12 sinners. It just feels like a lot of stuff was missing and it's really sad because I was excited for Heathcliff's canto.
#canto 6 spoilers#limbus company#heathcliff#I really loved how much he loved *REDACTED*#this is a joke obv#I'll give my more thorough thoughts once I'm not drowning in work/got some time to remove myself from sheer HYPE mode#but overall? loved it. not as much as Canto 5 but Canto 5 just hit all of my favorite things.#and to be compared to Canto 5 is an unfair fate for anything. it'd be like comparing Aquaman to Dr. Manhattan it's just not how that works#at least not to me#I felt the lows of this chapter and resonated with them. I really liked most the characters (not Hindley though that's a personal thing)#and I'm sure that the 'Carmen shows up like the PS5 in our brain' moment probably kicks ass if you know who she is and why we care#which I did not so I didn't really get that. still a cool moment but it didn't hit like it did for other people.#final fight? a slog and tough and tbh kinda unfun at times. I think that kinda adds to it though. we're stuck in a horrible loop.#the initial fight against alternate Heathcliff was still the height of the canto for me. that kicked SO MUCH ASS and it was a good twist
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I feel like most of my experience of depression boils down to "I have the Lonely, but I cannot make the Conversation"
#sad hour#depressive episode#i have so many wonderful friends so i feel awful complaining about being lonely#but i get into these modes where the only conversation topics my brain can produce are either vents or tramadumps#good news is that in those moments I'm REALLY good at cuddlin#like i might not say much because everything i have to say is Deep Dark Shit#but i am very capable of listening to what *you* have to say while also giving you a hug#bad news is that literally all of my friendships are long-distance at the moment#if youre reading this: please give yourself a good cuddle for me#i am snuggling all y'all In Spirit™
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at the heart of every galaxy is a void; an empty space torn open between worlds. it's a consumption of light, of movement and warmth; a dilation of time, seconds fractured and turning in on themselves. he could walk the twenty-six thousand light years to the core of a galaxy he'd drawn from the silt of inexistence. he could stand at its edge and peer over into the depths of nothingness. and still, still, its pull would wither and die in the face of such desperate, hands-shaking gravity as a palm pressed to his own on a bus ride back from the end of the world. he would have let himself be devoured by the solar pulse of a far too human heart, let himself be run through, all sinew/bone/ichor, if only to be permitted to remain in that same orbit—the singular fulcrum upon which he'd turned for more than six thousand years. and yet. to be handed the same blade that sliced you open so long ago—to be asked, begged, pleaded with, to turn it on your own chest/to turn back around just before the sunlight hits your face/to turn yourself into the crawling, wounded thing that so often looked for nothing but a quiet place to die... well, that's something else entirely, isn't it? and so when the angel, with all his blistering antiseptic heat and amethyst eyes, returns to the scene of the crime, Crowley can't bring himself to speak. he lets the words gather and stagnate in his throat. and after a while, Aziraphale stops pushing. and so it's the end of the world. the shadows leer from the corners, the world turns faster on its axis, and still they're not talking.
#sorry this is so rough. trying to get my mind back into writing mode lmao#tbh this is more of a warmup cause my brain is mush and i can't get it to fucking work#grabbing my own skull and shaking it around like an etch-a-sketch: “FuckIGN WORK. u dumbass”#i feel like i've written this same story one million billion times asjdkjlasldja. like i use the same words and everything UGHHH#good omens#good omens ficlet#my words#good omens poetry#good omens fanfic#good omens fic#gomens 2#gomens#good omens 2#david tennant#neil gaiman#go2#go3#michael sheen#aziraphale#crowley#good omens angst#wren writes crow
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I've felt like I should check in with Apollo the past few days and finally managed to clear enough space on my floor to feel alright with breaking out the tarot deck again so I did! Lit his candle, said as as formal a prayer as I could muster beforehand, asked Hermes to help with communication, the whole shebang. For further context: I've been wanting to ask Aphrodite something specific (also via tarot, it's the most grounding tool I've got) but I only have the one deck at the moment and, while I've used it to ask Hermes about things in tandem with Apollo, and Aphrodite introduced herself via it (with a card that also introduced Apollo), I wasn't sure if it would be cool for me to use it to ask her specifically something not in direct tandem with Apollo. I mentioned that in the prayer but also said that that might be a question for a different session, since trying to get an answer to that (on top of the general "hey how are we doing/do you have anything you want me to learn") might muddy my ability to understand the message.
Cue twelve cards falling out of my deck/poking out while I was shuffling. I usually pull ~3 cards on top of whatever falls out, but I ended up not feeling like it was needed. Seven of them fell out face-up, too.
Despite having some concerns about whether all of the cards were "supposed" to be pulled, it was pretty coherent! And covered quite a few things I've been thinking about recently, including sorting out anxiety vs a warning/displeasure, a follow-up of a card that was the focus of my last pull, and a reminder to look at outside/intellectual sources to combat the whatever-the-fuck-my-brain's-on. There were four cards that fell out face-up together in a pile: a card I associate with Apollo at the front and one associated with Artemis (the Moon) at the back, with cards related to unity & growth in the middle. I'd had a pretty bad experience attempting an offering to Artemis last month and have stepped back and avoided asking her for anything or specifically invoking her in prayers/offerings/etc. since (except for once when it involved a pregnant friend b/c it seemed odd and tbh a little disrespectful to ask Apollo for help and not her as well) because I took it as a sign that she didn't want me to work with her. I'm also aware, though, that that bad experience could have just been a meltdown/panic attack. Regardless of whether it was either of those two things, a "hey slow down" warning, or a combination, it was nice to have some clear reassurance & an official introduction. It's also significant, I think, that part of the Moon card's message is about not letting anxiety/"self-deception" (direct from the guide) cloud your intuition. I've been wanting to burn the candle I dedicated to her for a few days now- it's possible that was a sign from her as well.
As far as the deck-use question...the first card that fell out was the Empress (face-up, reversed). My initial thought was that it was a "no", but I decided to look at the meaning in case it wasn't that which was. probably a bad idea. It freaked me out a bit because I couldn't figure out what it was referring to. I ended up using my alphabet oracle tiles for a makeshift yes/no system after finishing with all the other cards and got clear confirmation that my instinct was, in fact, correct.
All in all it was really cool?? By far the most cards I've had in one pill iirc, and a good lesson in identifying how my intuition works.
#i teared up a few times both during the reading#and when i connected that one of the lessons for tonight *was* about identifying intuition/pointing out my progress#ive gotta go tarot deck shopping now#ive been wanting to get decks for each member of the theoi i work with anyway. makes the most sense#my only deck atm is one a friend gave me. like. 3 years ago b/c he wasnt vibing with it and it's been pretty consistent#even if i got a bit mixed up and pulled a card i shouldnt have (ie i thought it was poking out in a 'falling out' way#instead of just a 'got jostled while shuffling' way)#the cards i *know* are supposed to be part of the reading b/c they either fully fell out or i drew them after shuffling#are typically pretty understandable#so tarot's one of the best ways i know to “talk” to deity in a way that's grounded & “outside” myself enough that I can trust it#more than other ways#esp when combining it w/ the guide. going off of the image for interpretation just doesnt do it for me. maybe it will in the future but also#my brain just. doesnt do that w/ art unless im in crit mode#but yeah. i ofc gave apollo hermes & artemis offerings afterwards as a thank you#(and aphrodite b/c i remembered that i forgot to give her an offering after i got back from lunch w/ my partner yesterday)#good day all around re: connecting with the gods#despite being off my meds (im ordering my prescription refill tomorrow)#coriander says#helpol#hellenic pagan#hellenic polytheism#apollo#artemis#hermes#aphrodite#tarot#hellenic gods#hellenic community#pagans of tumblr#theoi
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me trying to explain to my body that it is not absolutely necessary to make me feel like dying every single day and i could use a break:
my body: okay but have you considered that we could do this forever?
#jk i know my body does its best to help me#but if it didn't also turn to autodestruction mode it'd be pretty cool#i hate when one of my symptoms finally get better and another something else flares immediately and there is just no time to be okay ever#not even asking to feel good#just#not awful#i could handle a few clicky joints and a bit of trouble standing#what i'm experiencing atm is too much#chronic pain#chronic illness#chronically ill#disabled#disability#undiagnosed#joint pain#gi problems#brain fog#idk#just ouch
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The golden dice are mine!
Gods, never again. xDDD
#bg3 playthrough#never again will I submit myself to honor mode#i might play a custom one that is similar in difficulty#but one save only is just too stressful#especially when your efforts let you reach act 3#now I need to put this game down for a bit#(I started Shadowheart origin playthrough just to showcase the dice :P)#on the other hand I truly had fun playing#the ending kinda ran away from me#what was supposed to be the happy ever after with Lae'zel became the ultimate sacrifice ending#i wanted to make Karlach illithid but that option bugged out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#so in the end Gale blew up the brain#Lae'zel left with Orpheus#Madoc would not take risk of living as a mind flayer and took his own life#Karlach died#didn't get to see what happened to any of the other companions#it was a very bittersweet and significantly different ending than my other playthroughs#i have to say I'm satisfied#now let's give this game a rest till patch 8 is good and settled
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they should invent a this that i don't have to do all alone*. they should invent a way out that isn't through.
#i got good news from my doctor's office#but once again i have to move my 'you only have to make it to X' out three more weeks#and i feel worse today than i have in several weeks#i hope the prescription is filled sooner but the nurse didn't make it sound like it would be necessarily#'you shouldn't have to do this alone' everyone says and yet i am! and yet i am! and yet i am!!!!!#aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!#sorry i'm always in wounded animal mode it's just that i can no longer tolerate the intolerable that i've historically tolerated#it's fine it's just that sometimes i just gotta scream in an empty room. or tumblr dot org.#i wish my brain fucking worked so i could read or work on some coding practice but 'parsing text' is apparently not on the menu#i think the lesson* in all of this is that... god i am so terribly terribly lonely#i think if i can finally get well enough to work again and be a person i need to go somewhere#i need to go somewhere else
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if you imagine that guy from saw and he's sawing his own leg off in the bathroom but it's just like, a normal bathroom and he's not chained to the wall or anything and he really didn't have to saw off his leg at all but he imagined a situation in which he would have to do that so he decided to get it over with as soon as possible. well that's how i approach all my interpersonal relationships
#text#i decided in my brain that my best friend hates me (she made a comment that hurt my feelings today and then a different comment#several weeks ago so basically shes sick of me and she hates me and wants me to die etc)#so now i am trying to dig my brain out of panic-mode trying to restructure my future around her inevitably getting tired of me#(& also trying not to upset or inconvenience her or anyone in any way in case this is the last straw and they Realize I'm A Bad Person)#and then also all my other friends will leave as well cuz they'll be like Wow if she didnt want to be around him anymore shes probably got#a good reason... and then everyone leaves me and i die. and yes i do this every time one of my friends accidentally hurts my feelings#you know when u accidentally step on ur pet's tail and u imagine a world where they hate u forever. yeah#it's like that except for someone steps on MY tail and i decide they hate me forever because my tail was in the way of their foot#does this make sense. Feel free to diagnose me in the comments#neg
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