#to “prevent anyone from having what i'm not allowed to have”
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nochepsicodelica · 1 day ago
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It's two in the morning and you're knocking on your own front door after a night out with your friends. Your mind has been occupied by static, not allowing you to remember that you have a key to let yourself in, so you stand there alone, waiting to be let in. You plant your hand on the wall to keep yourself balanced, looking left and right to see if anybody or any car is looking at you as they pass by.
Just as you're about to knock, again, the door opens and you flinch, your other hand flying to the wall to remain steady on your feet. You look up at your man with warped vision, blinking a little to try and clear your view of him. You can't contain your laughter when you see the stern look on Toji's face, his green eyes laced with concern you can't process in this state.
"What the fuck..." Toji mutters, to himself. What kind of friends would just drop you off without making sure that you get inside your house, safely? It's late. Who knows how long you had been standing there before you knocked. Anyone could have snatched you away.
Toji will catch you. You know he'll catch you if you just lean forward into him, like a backwards trust fall, so you set the plan in motion. You drag your feet and move your hands along the wall until you're in the safe zone, and then you just fall forward.
"Woah, hey." He's quick to hold you up against him, to prevent you from sliding down his body and to the floor. "Hey, you good? Talk to me. Can you walk?" Toji doesn't receive much of a response from you. Just quiet little giggles and incoherent mumbles. He sighs and picks you up, draping you over his shoulder. The door is shut and locked, before he makes his way to the bedroom. The light is already on, because he was awake the entire time, awaiting your arrival. Toji sets you down on the bed and briefly sits on the edge, by your feet.
"You didn't answer my calls, and I texted you like twenty times." He lifts your feet and takes their place, before setting them down on his lap so that you are comfortable. His fingers make haste of undoing the buckles on your high heels and he sets the shoes down, placing them under the bed.
You simply hum in response, not entirely sure of how you got to the room. The light is so bright and it's irritating your eyes, making it hard for you to hold them open.
"Told you to let me know if you needed me to pick you up, dummy." Toji wraps his hands around one of your ankles, his fingers kneading with little pressure, incase the area is tender.
"N-Nooo, i'm... here. Here," you babble.
It's so frustrating to be unable to get a full explanation out of you, right now. Your responses are borderline illogical and it's not doing Toji any good. He feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. He can't calm down, after he spent the last few hours wondering why you stopped responding to him and why you weren't answering his calls. To open the door and instantly get a whiff of your night out was enraging, not because you got extremely intoxicated, but because there was no one looking out for you by the end of your time out.
Toji understands that there is no point in digging into this, now. You can't even walk or see straight, so he settles for making simple conversation that you can easily digest.
"Did your phone die or something?"
You shake your head, side to side, and his blood boils all over again. This was supposed to be an easy conversation, but he was just so damn worried. His entire body is tense with concern.
"Fuck." He sighs, nodding slightly at your response. "Yeah, okay."
A few seconds of silence go by and Toji thinks you may have fallen asleep, but then you speak up, out of nowhere, again.
"Took lots of pictures..." you mumble, eyes closed as you dig into your pocket for your phone. Once it's in your hand, you toss it on the bed for Toji to grab. He puts your massage on hold and picks up your phone, unlocking it and going to your photo gallery, where immediately, he sees previews of the pictures of you and those so called "friends" who abandoned you on your doorstep. The only reason he cares for those group photos is because you're smiling widely, seemingly laughing, and overall looking extremely happy in every one of them, but as much as he loves the look on your face in those, he loves the pictures you took of yourself and the ones your friends took of you, more. Some you had already sent to him, others he hadn't seen until then, so he sent those pictures to himself.
Toji turns your phone off and sets it aside, before grabbing ahold of your other ankle and repeating the same treatment that he did for the first one.
"There was... ugh..." you sweep away some strands of hair that almost went into your mouth. "A man. I dropped my phone and he- and he got too close behind me when I bent down to pick it up." You nod, with your eyes as wide as they can be in this state, like you're trying to prove that you aren't lying by looking him straight in his eyes.
"That's fucking disgusting, mama." Toji's eyebrows furrow, discomfort written all over his face with this new information you revealed. He squeezes your ankle a little tighter, his mind beginning to cloud with thoughts of never letting you go out without him again, but before he even thinks of spilling these thoughts to you, he asks you the most important questions.
"Are you okay? Did he touch you?"
"Mm-mm, no." You shake your head as quickly as you can without getting dizzy. "Saw his legs behind my legs and I got up and gave him this look..." You furrow your brows and lid your eyes, a gaze that doesn't seem intimidating or warning enough, now, after so many drinks. Your face quickly relaxes after and you roll your eyes with a tired sigh. "Yup, that was the face I made and then I walked away," you say, your attitude more upbeat.
"Did he leave you alone?" Toji asks, hoping nothing more happened. If there is more, he'll have you describe this man to the best of your ability, and he will hunt him down until he can positively assure that he's no longer part of the world's population.
"Yeahhh, don't know where he went." You hum like you're trying to remember, as if you even have that knowledge. You walked away and didn't turn back around, something that finally concludes your brief inability to recall. "Think he got lost." You giggle.
"Good. I'm glad," Toji says. You hum in agreement, and your eyes fall shut, gracing you with two seconds of sleep before your head nods and you wake up, again. Your bashful smile evolves into a short laugh, one that has Toji smiling at how precious you are. "You tired, mama?"
You nod and blink slowly in response, fighting the urge to shut your eyes for longer. Your lips curl into a lazy smile, when Toji presses a kiss to your ankle, before he moves your feet and sets them on the bed so he can get up.
"Let's get you ready for bed, then."
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arcanewhoosh · 3 days ago
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The Bolter
2.2k words
Proofread? Y/N
TW: Minor descriptions of injuries
Arcane Series Finale spoilers
In the aftermath of the Battle of Piltover, you find yourself desperately clinging to a toy monkey head with nails hammered into it.
If you were to ask the regular citizens of Piltover and Zaun, the regular duration of a search and rescue mission is around seven days. While this was, in a way, correct, but it would only reach that many days if there was enough proof that the missing person was alive.
Standard operating procedure only allows a max of fifty-one hours.
You've been searching for nine days, fifteen hours, and twenty-seven minutes.
We don't have the resources right now, there's been too many casualties.
Alone.
There’re too many places to look through. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put the thought in your head-
Through every single cooling duct leading into the Hex Gate.
-the fuse assembly could've survived by other means.
"I have to try, Cait." You say as you put on your pack, loaded with first aid supplies and recovery equipment. Caitlyn moves to grab your arm. Her grip firm, but she's not holding you in any way that could actually prevent you from leaving. You still stop and wait for her to finish what she wants to say.
"It's been over a week. You've barely slept the entire time, and I can't keep changing the subject when Vi asks me where you've gone." She tugs at your arm lightly, willing you to sit down on a nearby chair.
It had been ten days since the end of the battle. Ten days since Piltover and Zaun almost met their demise. Ten days since so many lives were lost; all for power.
Vi was -is- a mess. She could barely pull herself up from the ledge you fished her out of back at the top of the tower. Dread had already begun to creep its way across your body as you made your way up to where Jinx and Ekko's balloon had crashed. The feeling only got worse as you climbed higher, seeing no signs of its three occupants. You started running faster up steps, climbing ladders with speed you never thought possible for you. For a moment the dread had ceded, your adrenaline taking over. But then there was the explosion. And then... And then eventually you heard Vi's cries.
Your body stiffens as you shut your eyes, willing the memory away. "You're gonna have to cover for me a bit longer, Cait." You say as you softly pry your arm free of her grasp. "With how loud that explosion was, there's no way the assembly could've just survived."
"If it was anyone else, maybe I would've stopped searching already. But you and I both know this isn't just anyone else, no matter which side you're on." Caitlyn looks at you for a few moments, you know we'll enough that she's already wavering in her previous attempt to dissuade you.
"You wouldn't have mentioned it at all if you didn't think-"
"I know, I know." She finally says. "I wouldn't have given you the schematics for the structure either."
She sighs, an all too familiar indicator that you've won. "Just... Don't push yourself too much. I know I'm the one that gave you hope that she survived, but at some point..." She trails off. You know she wants to say that she doesn't want you to have your hopes crushed, or to put yourself in unnecessary danger. Especially since the inner ducts have been unstable since the explosion.
"I promise, I'll be careful, Cait. You know me." You shrug and smile at her, hoping that the nonchalant display is enough to convince her that you aren't fatigued out of your mind.
The look on her face says she doesn't buy it. But she says nothing about her doubts, instead nodding your way. "Be careful, I'm holding you to that."
"I will."
"Fucking air vents." You curse as you drop your pack by the wall of the duct. The thump it makes echoing around the cavernous tunnel. You've been walking uphill to get back up to the entrance, but the strain from working non-stop for over a week, the sleep deprivation, and the mental exhaustion was bound to catch up. Maybe Cait was onto something with the whole resting thing.
You let out a huff at the thought. You didn't have time to rest, what if Jinx was somewhere hurt, with no one around- she'd find a way to pull herself out of here and escape-- or what if she was trapped somewhere -this is my second sweep of the vents and all the obstructed entrances have been cleared- You lean against the tunnel wall before slumping gingerly to the ground. Your ankle hadn't fully healed from the battle, and you still had bandages all over your midsection from injuries you sustained.
You take a few steadying breaths before pulling out a map of the vents, marking the sections you've done your sweep of. Your vision swims for a moment, and it's enough for you to shut the map and lean you head against the wall. You close your eyes and steady your breathing, willing yourself to hold it together.
You're no use to me dead. She would say right about now. I'm still alive and you still say I'm useless. You'd reply.
"Yeah, but I say it lovingly." She harks back from her chair, tinkering away at her robot bug thing that she and Isha were using for their little fight club. You turn from the pin board you were making- places in Zaun where new checkpoints had been placed. You drop the purple pen you were using-Isha had stolen the red marker you usually use-- to write and make your way over to Jinx.
"Lovingly?" You ask as you turn her chair around, a grin plastered on your face. She rolls her eyes, but her own smile betrays her attempt at brushing you off. "Don't think too hard about it, you might hurt yourself."
"Looks like you've been the one thinking about it." She scoffs at you, turning her chair back to face her work station. Though she doesn't turn fast enough for the pink dusting her cheeks to escape your notice. "I said don't think too much about it."
"Hey." You say softly, turning her chair around again and pulling up a chair for yourself so you were eye-level. She's pouting, so you know you're not in trouble. "I'm sorry for teasing." You take her left hand and place a kiss on her knuckles. She makes a face.
"Ew, don't kiss my hands, they're covered in grease."
"When are they not covered in grease?"
"Didn't you just apologize for teasing?"
"I'm sorry for teasing, again."
"You're lucky-" She clamps her mouth shut. You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from grinning again. The last thing you want is for her to close herself off. You know she's being careful. For someone known to be completely reckless at spontaneous times, she could be just as calculating and reserved. She's slipped a few times already, not explicitly saying I love you, but accidentally implying it or using some variation of the word during a casual conversation. You're no better, but so far, you've been able to avoid slipping.
Maybe you both thought it was too soon to say. Three or four months of you acknowledging that there was something between the two of you might be too soon, but there was a revolution going on, and revolutions are rarely peaceful and without casualties. Who knows what might happen in a few months, weeks, days, or hours. But you don't know what the next few weeks have in store for you.
"I know I'm lucky." You say. Hoping that the implication of, I know I'm lucky you love me, is enough.
But it wasn't, and now I'm here.
You jolt forward, blinking a few times to clear your blurry vision. Had you dozed off? For how long?
You sigh and rub your face with your hands. You do need rest, just for a little bit, then you'd get back to searching for her. You're no use to her dead, after all.
The walk back to your apartment is agonizing. The second you decided that it was time to take a break, your whole body decided that it was the best time for you to feel your exhaustion in its entirety. Your pack was suddenly heavier, your ankle decided to start swelling, and the wound on your side thought it was the perfect time to start bleeding again. Despite your body's attempt to suddenly render you immobile, you're able to meander back to your door after a horrible confrontation with five flights of stairs. Damn that faulty elevator.
You decide that having a view from your balcony isn't really all that worth it as you jam your keys into the lock and make your way inside. You stop dead in your tracks as soon as you pass through the door. The lock never clicked open.
You draw your pistol quietly, and scan the open living room and kitchen area of your home. Deeming the areas clear, you start making your way towards the hallway leading to your bedroom, pistol aimed and ready. Who on the Runeterra's green earth would be targeting you? Leftover Noxians? No. Turn coats like Maddie? Unlikely. Someone from the Undercity with a grudge? Unless they figured out who I am, I doubt it.
You hear a creaking sound from a door to your left, and you quickly kick it open and aim your pistol at the intruder.
"Jeez, you'd think a girl would get a warmer welcome after coming back from the dead." The intruder says, leaning back on a chair and idly scanning a vinyl.
You stare, dumbfounded. A part of you fully believing you've started hallucinating from the exhaustion, or the blood loss, you're not sure anymore. Your intruder, however, seemed to find your predicament funny.
"What, got nothing to say to me?" She asks. She finally turns to look at you, but the grin she puts on quickly falters when she notices the blood from your reopened wound seeping through your uniform. And then she's in front of you, one hand cupping the side of your face, the other hovering just above spots of blood on your shirt.
She asks if you're okay, but you're not sure. You still haven't confirmed whether on not you're hallucinating. So you do the only logical thing in the world and wrap your arms around her.
"Jinx?" Your voice cracks as you utter her name, and you wait. Wait for her to disappear, for your tired mind to catch up and be able to distinguish what is real and what isn't, because a part of you was only ever really using the tunnel search as a coping mechanism and that-
"I'm here, it's okay." She says as she wraps her arms around you and returns your embrace. If it were any other day, it would be you comforting her, offering her words of reassurance, support, affirmation. But this isn't any other day. Because you thought for the last ten days, twenty-three hours, and eight minutes, that she had died in an explosion.
But she didn't, and now you're sure that she's alive, that she's here, and alive, and breathing and-
"I love you." The words spill out of your mouth before you can think of anything else. How could you think of anything else? When those words, you realize now, have been long overdue.
She laughs. You realize how much you've missed hearing her laugh once your tears start falling. "I'm sorry." You say. "I thought, you died."
You stop yourself from hissing as her hug tightens and pain shoots up from your side. You could stomach the discomfort for this. You wouldn't let her go for anything, not again. "I'm sorry I took so long, bubs."-Your heart soars at the nickname- "There were a few... loose ends I had to take care of before coming to find you." She wipes away your tears as she says this, her hands carefully brushing your hair out of your face.
"It's okay, nothing else matters now." Just you you wanted to add, but refrain from speaking any further. You pull away just far enough to look at her, still not letting her go. It's her, alright. Her hair is different, and she doesn't have her pants that that one enforcer described as a half-eaten circus tent, but it's her.
"You're not upset?" She has the audacity to ask.
"I spent the last week and a half thinking you were dead, upset is the last thing I'm feeling.” A pause. “Wait no, actually, I spent nine days wandering around the cooling vents to look for greasy ass hand prints on walls."
"Hey."
"And I couldn't find any so you must've washed your hands for once-"
"Okay, smart ass, I get it." She says, rolling her eyes before pulling you in for a kiss. Suddenly all the exhaustion and pain you're feeling is gone, and your mind blanks. The only thought running through your head is Jinx and I missed you, and I love you, I love you, I love you as you pull her closer to you.
"Easy, tiger." She puts a hand on your chest to stop you from chasing after her when she pulls away. You let out a huff. She laughs. "You're bleeding, I need to take a look at that first."
"Since when has me being injured ever stopped you?"
She grins at you. "Being away from me that long has you down bad, huh?"  You grumble something about her being unappreciative, and she responds by pulling your face down and placing a kiss on your nose.
"You're lucky I love you." 
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distracted-and-diffused · 3 days ago
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Literally the day before the cancellation news came out, I was telling a friend that I was hoping that Netflix would announce a renewal soon, specifically because I trusted the current cast and crew in particular with this story (and because of my deep concern that they'd all be busy with other projects if the renewal decision took too long, since they are all quite talented).
I stand by that: Dead Boy Detectives would not be the show that it is without the love and care of the people who made it, and not only do those people deserve the chance to continue this show, but I want more of it specifically because I trust these people (this cast, these showrunners, these writers, this crew) to tell it, where I would not necessarily trust just anyone.
Such a big part of my love for this show has to do with its respect for its characters and its audience: To allow those characters to be richly-developed, diverse, and dynamic, with their own flaws and strengths and story arcs that sometimes clash and sometimes complement each other. To trust the audience to understand and love and support those characters. And to understand that those differences do not prevent the main characters from coming to support each other and to care for each other deeply.
I feel that this trust and this quality of storytelling should not be rare in television. But I also feel that it's all too seldom seen.
The reason that this show's respect for the characters shines through is because of the love and care and time and preparation that went into building these characters, this story, this world. And those things were built not just by the show runners, or the writers, or the directors, but by the cast and all of the crew who did such an incredible job.
I'm not interested in seeing this story or these characters in the hands of anyone who has less care for them than the people who have brought us Dead Boy Detectives Season One so far. And as far as I can tell, that's a very high bar to clear, because I'm not sure that anyone else could care for them more.
I really hope Netflix -- or anyone who sees this show and what it means to us as fans -- understands the extent to which this show is special because of the people who have made it so, and that it is not something that would be easy to replicate with another show or another cast.
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starletcake · 4 hours ago
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Headcanon about mage Viktor and his 'origins'
I didn't really understand how viktor could be the mage from Jayces past and I didn't really get any real or satisfying answers to that from anywhere, so I thought I would spin my own little theory (or at this point you could say fanfiction) as to how this all happened, how viktor became the mage in Jayces story, what he meant by "only you could ever show me this" etcetc. I assume/determine/establish many things for my thoughtprocess to be true, I do that for my story to work and for my mind to be at peace and that it can grip an answer and not go insane about pixels because apparently i cannot act normal around media i like.
First of all, I'm gonna assume that some things are just true/meant to happen/fated in ALL timelines. For example that viktor is going to ALWAYS come into touch with the arcane and even if his path can be different each timeline his end goal is always the same - glorious evolution. I also assume that if you time travel/jump timelines and act as a seperate individual in this timeline (not like f.e. ekko replacing himself in his timeline) you are not allowed/cannot intervene too much with it because then the time/space continuum collapses or the arcane throws a fit idk.
So let's imagine a timeline, I'm gonna call it "the first timeline" (even though it doesn't really make sense in thinking of first/next/last timeline because all of the timelines are parallels, but bear with me), a timeline where viktor comes into touch with the arcane a different way, because here he doesn't even know Jayce exists (the mage which gave him the rune doesn't exist yet/in this "first" timeline). He merges with the arcane, thinks he's doing everyone a favour by initiating the glorious evolution, finishes it, creates a perfect world and everyone is happy. Except it isn't a perfect world and nobody is happy, in fact everybody is practically dead, without joy, love and choice, and Piltover/maybe even the whole world crumbles into arcane waste because of Viktors actions. He doesn't understand what went wrong, he didn't want this, he wanted everyone to have equal opportunities and end all suffering and be without sickness, be perfect. There had to be some kind of mistake here. So, with the help of the arcane, he travels to another timeline, and tries to change a few things in his story. With hindsight, this time he could steer his young self in the right direction and this time, surely it will work.
But it doesn't. So he tries again. And again. And again and again and again.
But everytime, in every timeline, with every change he made, with every different decision he made, with every different way he found the arcane, it always ended the same - the glorious evolution was a mistake. More than that, an error in his thinking of his younger self, which is the catalyst of the apocalypse.
Having seen that outcome time and time again, this "first" mage Viktor realizes that this cost for perfection is flawed, and that imperfections do have beauty in itself. So, he goes into another timeline, this time adamant to stop himself. But he fails. He just isn't able to stop his younger self, he is not able to prevent that he is coming into contact with the arcane, he is not able to change his worldview, he is not able to change anything about his goal or conviction. So, maybe someone else could? Trying and trying to introduce character after character into his life, trying to let others influence him, to no avail. How could he, anyway? How could anyone change this worldview of him? He, "first" mage Viktor needed countless of timelines and experiences to learn, that he doesn't have to be ashamed of his flaws, that he doesn't have to erase them and that imperfections are what makes them all alive. How could anyone show him, in his limited lifespan, everything he learned in a multiple factor of this time?
And this is where Jayce comes in.
Maybe, in one of the infinite timelines, the "first" mage Viktor was just as lost as Jayce on that fateful day. Maybe he was about to give up his endeavor of stopping himself becoming the villain in each and every timeline. Maybe, he began to accept that, just as he is fated to meet the arcane, he is also fated to doom the world. Then, he sees a little boy, crying over his dying mother in a snow storm. Maybe he thinks, even if i will destroy the world later, maybe I could do a good deed now, and saves the little boys mother. He gifts the little boy a rune, and goes on with his day.
And BOOM, Jayce just got introduced to the game. This little act changed the course of history entirely, suddenly there was a brilliant mind in the middle of Piltover, suddenly Jayce and Viktor meet, and suddenly, Hextech is invented. Viktor gets a partner he can trust, that he loves and admires and he gets this love and admiration and trust back. They understand each other in ways nobody else could, they share moments of intimacy and ways of love no romantic love could ever reach(thats also a reason i don't really ship Viktor and Jayce, deep love doesn't always have to be romantic in nature and there are so many other types of love that are no lesser and can be more intense(even though my gay heart yearned for them to kiss at that last scene ngl)(well this and maybe im also trying to convince myself that it doesn't always has to be romantic love that saves the world and is the most impactful and beautiful and fated etcetc(can you tell I'm aro)))
And suddenly, new hope flashes in mage Viktors eyes. It's him. He is the one. The only one. The one he was meant to meet, meant to choose so Jayce could choose Viktor again. And even though this timeline also ended in the wasteland mage Viktor saw so often already, now he knows, oh he feels that he will be the one to change it all.
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So this little clip where we see mage Viktor giving little Jayce all these different runes? This is actually the end of mage Viktors journey, the last couple steps to finally find true peace, not in the form all of the Viktors always thought they will(glorious evolution), but in the form of accepting himself. And nobody else, not himself or Singed or Silco or Sky or Mel or Heimerdinger, only Jayce, only him, only you, could show me this.
(Finally, one of the runes caused Jayce to travel to another timeline where the apocalypse already has happened, and Ekko in one where he invents his timetravel device. Finally, mage Viktor can talk to Jayce and Jayce promises Viktor to stop him, forgiving him and loving him regardless. And Ekko, being the last push Jayce and Viktor needed to, being the catalyst of this even being able to happen)
I'm only writing/thinking about/posting this to satisfy my urge to understand exactly what was going on and why characters acted that way or why situations happened, to try to fill plotholes that nag my brain in a series that i absolutely love and gives me so many emotions(mostly pain, oh the misery). Idk and idc if any of that makes actual sense or fits in the lore of LoL or even the show itself, if it retconns some things or if the show itself retconns some of this theory/story, it makes sense in my head and I kinda like it, and thats what brings me peace idk how my brain works ok. (Plus it would be so cool to see some of the alternate timelines where for example viktor works with Silco and Jinx instead or smth)
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pixelfont52 · 3 months ago
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earthbound
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lovinnelily · 11 months ago
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Y'all do know you can't make Jason be NOT white without changing his whole character, right?
For other characters, yes, because their physical appearance are not that influential in their story, on how they are viewed by people, on their personality formation — you can have a black/asian/indigenous/arab/brown/latino/etc Nico and yes, the hate he gets will have a undertone of racism but at the same time nothing significant on his story, motivation or personality will need to change. This is also true for other characters: Clarisse risks repeating the "aggressive WoC" stereotype but the character itself doesn't change.
This isn't true for Jason, whose main character trait is how he is perceived by others and how he showcases himself to others based on that perception. (specially with how little effort Riordan put on him besides making him perfect-er Percy who's somehow also weaker and less important than him).
Let's not pretend a black, Arab, indigenous, Asian, Latin man, etc, in the USA would ever be treated with the universal reverence Jason gets from New Roma, you can't have the illusion of perfection and most of all, of invincibility they have about him when you see him suffering racism or xenophobia in the middle of a mission. In theory, nothing in his life has ever gone wrong, that's his image, destined to be king, he is supposed to have no weakness on his peers eyes.
He is not trying to prove people wrong, he is trying to prove them right; he isn't worthy despite their prejudice, on the contrary, he only tried to make himself worthy to fulfill their expectations. He can't be a woman or an immigrant or have a visible disability or any other thing that strays him from a perfect ideal by western society standards, and be that same character.
#Different from the other white character in the series he was never questioned or doubted#There's a presumption of perfection with no exceptions that society doesn't give to us (women poc immigrants visible minorities in general)#His privilege (handsome white man with no visible disability son of Zeus etc) also prevented anyone from worrying for his well being#This illusion/expectation of him having no weakness/being untouchable pushes himself too far and clouds his judgment.#I headcanon he didn't even consider the possibility of myopia because that wouldn't fit Jason Grace Son of Jupiter so it wasn't an option#And you think it'd be the same character after facing racism? Because ain't no way he'd be praetor without going through racism#I think I'd love him nonetheless since I'm very weak to the whole golden boy tearing himself to save the world but it'd be a new character#jason grace#I know racism in USA is different from here but I know how different a “non-racist” white person treats me and treats my white friends#Also for him to not be an entirely different character if PoC would be incredibly disrespectful and racist on its own#It would fail to recognize the difference in how we are read (and written). I hate that a lot.#I remember that when Cody told Brandi “I see no color” she told him “then you don't see me” and that's so fucking striking#We ARE different. treated differently. if you act like you don't see it then you also turn a blind eye to the violence that comes from it#This is straying from my point I got a bit heated banalization of things I care about usually does that to me#Point is please don't change Jason on the very few things that man actually bothered writing about him#I actually think this is true about Octavian too. A lot of what he is allowed to do would not be possible if he weren't a white man.#Same for Rachel Elizabeth Dare. I mean you can work around making her poc but it will truly be pushing A LOT#Let's put it this way: a woc doing a street performance is perceived very differently from a white woman doing a street performance.#Specially in the eyes of cops#Pjo
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years ago
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People be like "merry Christmas" meanwhile I'm over here uncovering new depths of my trauma
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fitzselfships · 1 year ago
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I think that ask was about me venting about proshippers in the self ship tag that one time. Like yeah maybe I could've worded it better but I was super angry and panicking at the time and I was just not thinking about what I was typing, but again I also think I have a right to be angry at people who excuse and fetishize horrible shit (including what I went through)
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ceilidhtransing · 3 months ago
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The discussions around whether or not to vote for Kamala keep being dominated by very loud voices shouting that anyone who advocates for her “just doesn't care about Palestine!” and “is willing to overlook genocide!” and “has no moral backbone at all!” And while some of these voices will be bots, trolls, psyops - we know that this happens; we know that trying to persuade progressives to split the vote or not vote at all is a strategy employed by hostile actors - of course many of them won't be. But what this rhetoric does is continually force the “you should vote for her” crowd onto the back foot of having to go to great lengths writing entire essays justifying their choice, while the “don't vote/vote third party” crowd is basically never asked to justify their choice. It frames voting for Kamala as a deeply morally compromised position that requires extensive justification while framing not voting or voting third party as the neutral and morally clean stance.
So here's another way of looking at it. How much are you willing to accept in order to feel like you're not compromising your morals on one issue?
Are you willing to accept the 24% rise in maternal deaths - and 39% increase for Black women - that is expected under a federal abortion ban, according to the Centre for American Progress? Those percentages represent real people who are alive now who would die if the folks behind Project 2025 get their way with reproductive healthcare.
Are you willing to accept the massive acceleration of climate change that would result from the scrapping of all climate legislation? We don't have time to fuck around with the environment. A gutting of climate policy and a prioritisation of fossil fuel profits, which is explicitly promised by Trump, would set the entire world back years - years that we don't have.
Are you willing to accept the classification of transgender visibility as inherently “pornographic” and thus the removal of trans people from public life? Are you willing to accept the total elimination of legal routes for gender-affirming care? The people behind the Trump campaign want to drive queer and trans people back underground, back into the closet, back into “criminality”. This will kill people. And it's maddening that caring about this gets called “prioritising white gays over brown people abroad” as if it's not BIPOC queer and trans Americans who will suffer the most from legislative queer- and transphobia, as they always do.
Are you willing to accept the domestic deployment of the military to crack down on protests and enforce racist immigration policy? I'm sure it's going to be very easy to convince huge numbers of normal people to turn up to protests and get involved in political organising when doing so may well involve facing down an army deployed by a hardcore authoritarian operating under the precedent that nothing he does as president can ever be illegal.
Are you willing to accept a president who openly talks about wanting to be a dictator, plans on massively expanding presidential powers, dehumanises his political enemies and wants the DOJ to “go after them”, and assures his supporters they won't have to vote again? If you can't see the danger of this staring you right in the face, I don't know what to tell you. Allowing a wannabe dictator to take control of the most powerful country on earth would be absolutely disastrous for the entire world.
Are you willing to accept an enormous uptick in fascism and far-right authoritarianism worldwide? The far right in America has huge influence over an entire international network of “anti-globalists”, hardcore anti-immigrant xenophobes, transphobic extremists, and straight-up fascists. Success in America aids and emboldens these people everywhere.
Are you willing to accept an enormous number of preventable deaths if America faces a crisis in the next four years: a public health emergency, a natural disaster, an ecological catastrophe? We all saw how Trump handled Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico. We all saw how Trump handled Covid-19. He fanned the flames of disaster with a constant flow of medical misinformation and an unspeakably dangerous undermining of public health experts. It's estimated that 40% of US pandemic deaths could have been avoided if the death rates had corresponded to those in other high-income countries. That amounts to nearly half a million people. One study from January 2021 estimated between around 4,200 and 12,200 preventable deaths attributable purely to Trump's statements about masks. We're highly unlikely to face another global pandemic in the next few years but who knows what crises are coming down the pipeline?
Are you willing to accept the attempted deportation of millions - millions - of undocumented people? This is “rounding people up and throwing them into camps where no one ever hears from them again” territory. That's a blueprint for genocide right there and it's a core tenet of both Trump's personal policy and Project 2025. And of course they wouldn't be going after white people. They most likely wouldn't even restrict their tyranny to people who are actually undocumented. Anyone racially othered as an “immigrant” would be at risk from this.
Are you willing to accept not just the continuation of the current situation in Palestine, but the absolute annihilation of Gaza and the obliteration of any hope for imminent peace? There is no way that Trump and the people behind him would not be catastrophically worse for Gaza than Kamala or even Biden. Only recently he was telling donors behind closed doors that he wanted to “set the [Palestinian] movement back 25 or 30 years” and that “any student that protests, I throw them out of the country”. This is not a man who can be pushed in a direction more conducive to peace and justice. This is a man who listens to his wealthy donors, his Christian nationalist Republican allies, and himself.
Are you willing to accept a much heightened risk of nuclear war? Obviously this is hardly a Trump policy promise. But I can't think of a single president since the Cold War who is more likely to deploy nuclear weapons, given how casually he talks about wanting to use them and how erratic and unstable he can be in his dealings with foreign leaders. To quote Foreign Policy only this year, ��Trump told a crowd in January that one of the reasons he needed immunity was so that he couldn’t be indicted for using nuclear weapons on a city.” That's reassuring. I'm not even in the US and I remember four years of constant background low-level terror that Trump would take offence at something some foreign leader said or think that he needs to personally intervene in some military situation to “sort it out” and decide to launch the entire world into nuclear war. No one sane on earth wants the most powerful person on the planet to be as trigger-happy and careless with human life as he is, especially if he's running the White House like a dictator with no one ever telling him no. But depending on what Americans do in November, he may well be inflicted again on all of us, and I guess we'll all just have to hope that he doesn't do the worst thing imaginable.
“But I don't want those things! Stop accusing me of supporting things I don't support!” Yes, of course you don't want those things. None of us does. No one's saying that you actively support them. No one's accusing you of wanting Black women to die from ectopic pregnancies or of wanting to throw Hispanic people in immigrant detention centres or of wanting trans people to be outlawed (unlike, I must point out, the extremely emotive and personal accusations that get thrown around about “wanting Palestinian children to die” if you encourage people to vote for Kamala).
But if you're advocating against voting for Kamala, you are clearly willing to accept them as possible consequences of your actions. That is the deal you're making. If a terrible thing happening is the clear and easily foreseeable outcome of your action (or in the case of not voting, inaction), in a way that could have been prevented by taking a different and just as easy action, you are partly responsible for that consequence. (And no, it's not “a fear campaign” to warn people about things he's said, things he wants to do, and plans drawn up by his close allies. This is not “oooh the Democrats are trying to bully you into voting for them by making him out to be really bad so you'll feel scared and vote for Kamala!” He is really bad, in obvious and documented and irrefutable ways.)
And if you believe that “both parties are the same on Gaza” (which, you know, they really aren't, but let's just pretend that they are) then presumably you accept that the horrors being committed there will continue, in the immediate term anyway, regardless of who wins the presidency. Because there really isn't some third option that will appear and do everything we want. It's going to be one of those two. And we can talk all day about wanting a better system or how unfair it is that every presidential election only ever has two viable candidates and how small the Overton window is and all that but hell, we are less than eighty days out from the election; none of that is going to get fixed between now and November. Electoral reform is a long-term (but important!) goal, not something that can be effected in the span of a couple of months by telling people online to vote third party. There is no “instant ceasefire and peace negotiation” button that we're callously overlooking by encouraging people to vote for Kamala. (My god, if there was, we would all be pressing it.)
If we're suggesting people vote for her, it's not that we “are willing to overlook genocide” or “don't care about sacrificing brown people abroad” or whatever. Nothing is being “overlooked” here. It's that we're simply not willing to accept everything else in this post and more on top of continued atrocities in Gaza. We're not willing to take Trump and his godawful far-right authoritarian agenda as an acceptable consequence of feeling like we have the moral high ground on Palestine. I cannot stress enough that if Kamala doesn't win, we - we all, in the whole world - get Trump. Are you willing to accept that?
And one more point to address: I've seen too many people act frighteningly flippant and naïve about terrible things Trump or his campaign want to do, with the idea that people will simply be able to prevent all these bad things by “organising” and “protesting” and “collective action”. “I'm not willing to accept these things; that's why I'll fight them tooth and nail every day of their administration” - OK but if you're not even willing to cast a vote then I have doubts about your ability to form “the Resistance”, which by the way would have to involve cooperation with people of lots of progressive political stripes in order to have the manpower to be effective, and if you're so committed to political purity that you view temporarily lending your support to Kamala at the ballot box as an untenable betrayal of everything you stand for then forgive me for also doubting your ability to productively cooperate with allies on the ground with whom you don't 100% agree. Plus, if the Trump campaign gets its way, American progressives would be kept so busy trying to put out about twenty different fires at once that you'd be able to accomplish very little. Maybe you get them to soften their stance on trans healthcare but oh shit, the climate policies are still in place. But more importantly, how many people do you think will protest for abortion rights if doing so means staring down a gun? Or organise to protect their neighbours from deportation if doing so means being thrown in prison yourself? And OK, maybe you're sure that you will, but history has shown us time and time again that most people won't. Most people aren't willing to face that kind of personal risk. And a tiny number of lefties willing to risk incarceration or death to protect undocumented people or trans people or whatever other groups are targeted is sadly not enough to prevent the horrors from happening. That is small fry compared to the full might of a determined state. Of course if the worst happens and Trump wins then you should do what you can to mitigate the harm; I'm not saying you shouldn't. But really the time to act is now. You have an opportunity right here to mitigate the harm and it's called “not letting him get elected”. Act now to prevent that kind of horrific authoritarian situation from developing in the first place; don't sit this one out under the naïve belief that “we'll be able to stop it if it happens”. You won't.
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harunayuuka2060 · 1 month ago
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*Right before the rehearsals began.*
MC: *remains subtly unimpressed by what they observed*
Vil: *had just finished demonstrating the dance routine he planned to incorporate into their performance*
Vil: Why are you staring at me like that?
MC: ...
MC: Are you trying to be someone else?
Vil: Wha— What's that supposed to mean?!
MC: ...I'll be honest with you. My eyes hurt watching that. It’s like you’re a moth trying to pass as a butterfly.
Vil: !!!
Vil: MC!
MC: I’m not trying to insult you, Vil. You’re skilled, no question, but not in every aspect.
Vil: ...
Vil: I can’t believe I’m being criticized like this.
MC: *smiles* Why? Do you think I would play favorites simply because I respect you?
Vil: ...
Vil: *sighs*
Vil: You're right.
Vil: But I'm concerned about what you said... Does it really not fit my image?
MC: ...
MC: *nods* That’s why I’ll take responsibility for selecting the song and the choreography.
Vil: Why— You can't do that!
MC: Vil.
Vil: ...
MC: If you want this to succeed, you need to trust me.
Vil: ...
MC: *smiles reassuringly* I will make certain that in this competition, you will be the fairest of them all.
Vil: ...
Vil: *satisfied with their statement* You clearly know what to say.
Professor Crewel: Now, your idea isn’t bad. But are you sure those pups can pull off these outfits?
MC: *chuckles* I have confidence in them, sir.
Professor.Crewel: I would feel the same way if you had at least let someone watch your rehearsal. Not even the headmage was allowed to enter the Ramshackle dorm.
*MC asked their dad to allow only the members to enter the dorm and to prevent anyone else from breaking in.*
MC: I had to since the headmage started making demands.
MC: Too much pressure was already placed on them, so it wouldn't be fair to add more.
Professor Crewel: *chuckles* I see.
Kalim: Eh? MC isn't here yet?
Epel: They went to check the stage for the SDC.
Kalim: Oh. Anyway, is everyone excited? *grins*
Jamil: No. We're nervous.
Kalim: Oh come on! You've seen how we practiced!
Rook: Roi d'Ore is right, Monsieur Multi!
Rook: If I hadn't realized we were just looking at our reflections, I might have fallen in love with how beautiful we appeared!
Epel: Um, you mean 'cool', right, Rook-senpai?
Ace: Geez, dude. Yes! You look cool!
Deuce: Let's show our coolness on stage, Epel!
Epel: Yeah!
Jamil: I'm surprised you two managed to improve.
Kalim: *laughs* MC's routine was effective!
Vil: ...
MC: ...
MC: Vil.
Vil: ...
Vil: I'm okay.
*They found out that Neige would be participating.*
MC: ...
MC: Can I use your phone for a moment?
Vil: What will you do with it? *as he hands it to them*
MC: We've taken every step to make sure you stay focused during rehearsals, and I can’t allow you to get distracted just because you see someone you feel inferior to.
Vil: !!!
Vil: How did you—
MC: *smiles* You won't be asking Mira or looking into how others perceive you or Neige Leblanche.
Vil: ...
Vil: And what if I couldn't help it?
MC: Then you'll just have to take out your frustration on me. That's why we'll be doing a separate performance.
Vil: ...
Vil: Yes. That's better.
MC: *smiles kindly this time* You will do well, Vil.
Vil: ...
Vil: *smirks* Of course.
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luveline · 1 year ago
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 | 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐨’𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚
the tension between you and miguel rises to an all-time high —a ficlet featuring a grumpy miguel and a flirty, distracted spider-girl. pre across the spider-verse but contains spoilers. fem!reader, 1k
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
Miguel has asked you multiple times to leave him alone while he's working. The strike force can't run itself (or so he claims —Margo and Lyla seem plenty capable, in your eyes) and he needs time and solitude to organise the protection of canon events, and—
"Blah, blah, blah," you say, dropping your voice to a soft, teasing melody as you skirt around his frankly audaciously jacked chest. 
"Don't blah, blah, blah me," Miguel says. You'd be intimidated if you weren't so happy to mess with him. "I'm not kidding around." 
Okay, maybe you are intimidated. That just makes messing with him more fun. 
The room he operates from, as you've so fondly monikered The Office, is in organised chaos, and much too dark. You drag a lone chair toward his control panel and set yourself down in front of all his screens and computers. 
"Ooh," you hum, reaching for an unlabelled switch with a purposeful slowness. 
Predictably, Miguel slams his hand over yours, yanking your chair back with an annoyed, "No." 
"Come on, Miguel. What harm could I possibly do?"
"You could–" 
"Topple the multiverse?" you suggest. "I've heard." 
"You could turn off every member of the Society's DMW. That's what that does. Potentially endangering each of their lives by stranding them in unfamiliar dimensions, and preventing them from correcting canon events." 
You feel bad for teasing him when you see the look on his face, anger and exhaustion and the slimmest allowance of defeat. It must be tough to lead the Spider-Society. Tougher to micromanage more than half of its members. 
Pulling your hand from under his, you cross your arms over your stomach and give him an apologetic frown. "Sorry, Miguel."
Evidence of his sweet spot for you lines his expression, softening his sharp jaw and the stoic set of his brow. It's gone as quick as it came, and his mask falls back into place. He turns away from you as though pretending you aren't there and scans one of his holographic screens, his face glowing with a yellow-orange haze. 
Miguel has to tolerate you, because you're a Spider-Girl. Though you've never called yourself that aloud, and you're not sure anyone else has, either, it's an undeniable truth. You were bitten by a radioactive spider that gave you super mutant abilities, though yours aren't as potent as others. You're not especially strong, you probably couldn't stop a bus with your bare hands, but you're smart. You haven't saved the world or anything, but you lost your Uncle Ben. You paid the toll. 
Every spider person has lost someone. Miguel seems to have lost more than that. 
"You know," you mumble, kicking the ground lightly to make your chair spin on its axle, "I've been thinking…" 
"That's never good." 
"Why do we wear our suits here?" you ask, spinning for a second time, the room moving past your eyes in flashes. "It seems performative." 
"Ah, I can answer that. Some of us work when we're here." 
You wrinkle your nose at his deadpan and kick the floor again, spinning so fast it makes you laugh. "What did you say? I can't hear you from your high horse– woah!" 
Miguel grabs the back of your chair, bringing you to a sudden and firm stop. You blink hoping it'll assuage the dizziness between your eyes, and when it doesn't work you keel forward, muttering, "Woah, I'm gonna die." 
"You won't die." 
"How do you know?" you ask. 
"You're under my watch, aren't you?" 
"I knew you liked me," you say. "Oh, I don't feel well." 
"You brought it on yourself." 
You catch your breath. When you feel okay enough to stand you almost trip, and Miguel doesn't bother pretending that he had any intention of stopping you from landing flat on your face. The you before the spider bite would've wiped out. This you giggles and holds Miguel's elbow for a second while you plant your feet. 
"Okay, boss-man," you ask, looking up at the unnaturally high screen he's investigating. "What are we doing today?" 
"I'm supervising a task force operation on Earth-31913. You're going home." 
"Miguel," you say, not sure if you want to flirt with him or piss him off. He looks incredibly pissed off already, so you choose flirtation. "Have I told you how handsome you look this evening?" 
He doesn't react. His hands don't so much as shift where they're akimbo on his hips. 
"You really have the most handsome eyes," you continue, weaving around his arm to stand in front of him. You have to crane your neck to see them. "Sulky. Do I really have to go home? I'd rather stay here with you." 
He looks down his nose at you. "Yeah?" he asks quietly, his voice rough as hewn stone.
"Yeah," you say, taking a small step back. 
"And do what?" 
You mirror his stance, hands on your hips. Your suit isn't form fitting like his, doesn't showcase nearly so much lean muscle, but you like it. You'd chosen a simple black ensemble to match the spider who bit you with a pinky purple heart over your stomach. Miguel had asked about it once, just once, when you'd first met and he had no idea how much of a problem for him you were going to become. 
Why there? 
Why do you think? you'd asked, giving him a sticky-sweet smile. 
Forget I asked. 
He lifts a hand to your chin, pinching it between two deft fingers. You're lucky he isn't wearing his gloves; his claws would pierce your jaw. 
"What do you want to do?" he asks, again so quietly. "If you stay?" 
"I could help with the task force." 
"That's what you want to do?" 
You flush with heat but refuse to let him know how you're feeling. Your heart bumps against your ribs, breath caught in your throat as he tilts your head up, as he leans down. 
"No," he says near your lips, "that's not it." 
"I could help you?" you offer. 
Something flashes in his eyes. You hesitate to call it lust. It reminds you of a cat with a mouse in it’s clutches, only his pupils are blown, black and inky and wide as dimes. 
"You want to help me?" he asks, his lips an inch, half of that from yours. 
You nod minutely. "Yes," you say under your breath. 
His hand moves to your cheek. He leans in closer and closer, until there's a hair's width of air between his mouth and yours, the tips of your noses bent together. His breath fans over your bottom lip and it's hot. You swear you can feel his heart as his chest presses to yours. He lingers there for an endless handful of seconds, silently egging you on.
You call his bluff and refuse to close the distance. 
Miguel pushes you away from him, far from cruel but certainly not sweet. "I have a tower of paperwork you can file," he says. 
"Here I thought you were finally going to bite my head off," you hum. "You're a sore loser, Miguel." 
"And you're my pest," he says, holding your gaze for a half-second too long. He turns away. "Lyla? Arrange the recounts from the last canon event for Spider-Girl's perusal, please." 
"So you've remembered I'm here?" Lyla asks wryly.
You don't mind the paperwork. You sign each one with a winky face and a pink gel pen heart, knowing Miguel will go over them all again, and knowing he'll grow angrier and angrier with each heart.
He'll kiss you and mean it one day. You just have to play the waiting game.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
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starstruckmiraclekitty · 2 years ago
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Could I request giving the 141 guys road head pls
Had one this one sitting in my queue for a while and was debating on posting it. Hopefully, you guys enjoy!
Thanks as always for the requests!
Giving 141 Boys Road Head
Warnings: smut, oral (m receiving), swearing, utter trashy filth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Simon Ghost Riley-
"I appreciate you coming to the party with me, I know I took you out of your comfort zone." You turned to Simon with a small smile.
"It's no problem." He returned the smile, reassuringly squeezing your hand before his eyes flickered back to the road in front of him. "Just'll have to thank me later for it, won't you?"
You felt heat rush to your lower regions at the teasing tone of his voice, knowing damn well what he was implying. "Or, I could always thank you now."
"That so?" He asked, as a small smirk formed on his lips. "I certainly wont say no to that."
You bit your lip as you unbuckled your seat belt and leaned over the console. You tucked your bottom lip in between your teeth as you began unbuckle his pants slowly. "Help me out?"
He gave a breathy chuckle as he lifted his hips, allowing you to rid him of his garments. You gave a content sigh as your eyes landed on his impressive length.
You gave him another smile before lowering your head and running your tongue along the length of his cock, causing Simon's breath to hitch in his throat. You always enjoyed watching Simon come undone from your mouth, and decided to tease him a bit longer.
You continued to run your tongue along the base of his cock, before peppering small kisses as you made your way back up his length.
"'Nough teasin, either wrap those pretty lips around my cock, or go sit back down in your seat." He grunted.
You hummed before you slowly took him in your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks as you sunk your mouth down on him. You moaned as the taste of him began to fill your mouth, and began to swirl your tongue alongside his shaft.
"Fucking hell, sweethart, just like that." He moaned as his free hand rested on your head, gently pushing your head further down the length of his cock.
You continued to swirl your tongue alongside his length as you feverishly sucked his cock, moaning out every so often as his grip on your hair tightened.
You could feel his stomach begin to tighten, his telltale sign that his orgasm was approaching, and you doubled down on your efforts to make him cum. Your hands wrapped around the base of his cock, grabbing what you no longer could with your mouth, and began to pump gently in sync with the motions of your mouth.
It all began to be too much for Simon, the wet heat of your mouth, the delicious suction, the absolutely filthy way you played your tongue against him.
Simon gave out a euphoric moan as the coil in his belly snapped, causing him to spill out inside your mouth.
You pulled away with a "pop," a devilish smile making its way to your lips as he made eye contact with you. You started to pull up his boxers but his hand came out to grab yours firmly, preventing you from continuing.
Simon brought the car to a park in your driveway before grabbing at your hips roughly as he pulled you into his lap. You felt his hands wander to your own pants as he fumbled to pull them down.
"Si, the house is right there." You breathed out as you felt his fingers tease at your hole.
"Don't care, taking you right here, right now."
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John Price-
"You looked damn good tonight, sweetheart. Think even some of the guys at the bar agreed." John spoke after the two of you drove home in silence for a while from your local bar.
"Jealous much?" You teased, a small smirk making its way to your lips.
"Don't like anyone shooting their shot with what's mine." He spoke as his grip on your thigh tightened. "You certainly didn't mind the attention."
"I'm not even going to enlighten that with a response." You chuckled, playfully slapping your husband. "You know you're the only one I want, John."
"Why don't you show me then? Right now." He baited, his eyes flickering over to you. Even in the faint darkness of the car, you could see the lust in his eyes.
"As you wish, sir." You mock saluted before slowly unbuckling your seatbelt. John felt his blood rush to his cock at your nickname for him.
You slowly pulled down his boxers, licking your lips in anticipation as his cock sprung free. You fanned your breath across his newly exposed skin before lowering your head toward him ever so slightly.
"Be a good pet, go on." He encouraged, moving his hands up the wheel to give you more room.
You gave a low moan as you raked your eyes along his rock hard cock, his tip an angry red, leaking with precum. Looking up at him, you lowered your head slightly, sticking your tongue out to collect the arousal forming on his tip.
"Fuck." He groaned, his head falling back slightly as he struggled to keep his eyes on the road in front of him. You giggled slightly at his crumbling composure before wrapping your lips around his cock fully.
One of his hands left the steering wheel and rested on your head, grasping at the roots of your hair firmly as you sank your mouth down completely around his cock.
You began a slow pace, bobbing your head up and down his length as your eyes fluttered shut. You hollowed out your cheeks, tightening the grip your mouth had on his cock as you continued your steady pace.
"Take it all, baby, I know you can." He breathed out, pushing your head down to take more of him.
The tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, causing you to gag around him. The noises were unholy, but it only spurred you on more. You started to vigorously move your head up and down the length of his shaft, and each time your head bobbed down, the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat.
John swore that your mouth felt better than any he'd ever been in before, and you never, not once failed to make him come undone inside of it. He began to groan softly, no longer holding back the sounds that begged to escape his lips.
You felt his cock begin to twitch in your mouth and you immediately went to swirl your tongue along his tip, collecting the leftover precum there.
With a few more strokes of your mouth, he was gone, gripping your hair firmly as he emptied into your mouth with a low groan.
Both his hands returned to the wheel as he pulled over into an abandoned parking lot before putting the car in park abruptly. "Get in the backseat, now."
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Johnny Soap MacTavish-
"I'm telling you, love, I have a lot more self restraint than you think." Johnny spoke, turning his head to you with a cocky smile. "You think I'm just some big hornball that can't say no to sex, and that's just not true."
"Mmm, so if I were to say, lean across this console and give you the sloppiest head I've ever given you, you wouldn't want to fuck me?" You teased, as your hand wandered from his thigh to the outline of his cock through his pants.
"Nope, I'd stay strong." His voice cracked slightly, telling you that you were already going to win this bet.
"Alright, why don't we test this theory then?" You asked, reaching into his sweats to grasp at his hardening cock.
"You won't win this one." He said as your hands moved to the waistband of his pants.
Johnny lifted himself up slightly off the seat, allowing for you to pull off his pants and boxers in one fluid motion. You let out a soft groan as his now fully hard penis was exposed to you.
You moved over so your top half was hovering over his lap and made a show of sticking your ass up in the air. Johnny groaned slightly as he moved his hands to grasp roughly at your clothed cheeks.
"You're going to eat those words, MacTavish." You spoke, your tone seductive. You lowered your head down toward his cock, before letting a small wad of saliva pour from your lips. It landed on his cock, causing Johnny to inhale sharply, before you ran your hand along his length, spreading your salvia along his shaft.
You sank your mouth down around his now glistening length, causing his grip on the wheel to tighten. You didn't waste any time in setting a steady pace as your head began to bob up, your lips tightening around his cock with each movement of your head.
The sounds were obscene, and you certainly were unashamed as you slurped around his cock with each bobbing movement of your head.
You ran your tongue along his shaft slowly as your hand went to cradle his balls, massaging tantalizingly slow at the sensitive flesh there.
"Jesus." He breathed, his hands shaking slightly against the wheel as he desperately tried to maintain his focus on driving.
You groaned obscenely around his length as your mouth continued to ruin him with every hollowed motion of your cheeks.
You smiled to yourself as you felt him twitch in your mouth, signaling his oncoming orgasm. You knew you were close to being home, and you were beyond desperate for your boyfriend to fuck you senseless, so just as his orgasm was about to hit, you abruptly pulled your mouth off his cock with a sinister smile.
"Oh, you're the damn devil, aren't you." He said through gritted teeth as he struggled to regain his breath. "You're going to fucking pay for that, minx."
The minute he pulled into your driveway, he quickly put the car in park and got out, making his way to your side of the car. He opened your door, and grabbed at your waist, promptly throwing you over his shoulder.
"Thought you weren't gonna want to fuck me." You teased, giggling as he practically sprinted to the front door.
"Oh fuck that. 'M gonna fuck you senseless now." He said, landing a harsh smack to your ass.
Needless to say, Johnny didn't mind all that much about losing the bet.
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Kyle Gaz Garrick-
You'd just gotten home from a week away with your friends. Kyle, being the adorably sweet boyfriend he was, insisted on picking you up from the airport once you'd arrived.
You were beyond needy for your boyfriend, and simply couldn't wait until the two of you arrived home. You looked over at him from the passenger seat and watched as he looked over at you with a sweet smile.
You slowly unbuckled your seatbelt and crawled over the center console toward Kyle's lap, resting your elbow on the armrest of the console.
"What do you think you're doing, love?" He asked, though he knew exactly what your intentions were.
"Nothing? Just getting comfortable." You teased as your fingers fumbled with the zipper of his jeans.
"Mmhmm." He sighed as your hand ghosted over his clothed cock. "Comfortable, huh?"
You reached into the confines of his boxers, pulling out his now rock hard cock. You heard Kyle gulp audibly as you began to pump your hand along his length.
Without warning, you sank your mouth down on him, causing him to hiss. Your hands flew to the base of his cock, grabbing what your mouth couldn't and began twisting firmly, keeping with the rhythm with your mouth.
Kyle could tell you were enjoying this almost as much as he was, from the loud moans that you let out around his cock with each movement.
Kyle struggled to keep his eyes on the road. Fortunately for him, this time of night, there were virtually no cars on the road leading to your shared home. The wet cavern of your mouth was a heavenly sensation for him, your hollowed cheeks and swirling movements of your tongue sending him closer and closer to his release.
His hips instinctively bucked, causing his tip to push into the back of your throat, and moaned loudly as you gagged around him. He let out a loud groan as he bucked his hips again, eliciting another gag from you. You knew Kyle was nearing his edge as you felt his muscles begin to tighten, so you started to move your mouth down fully on him each time your head sunk down, causing the tip of his cock to touch the back of your throat each time.
You dropped your head down fully, the tip of his cock touching your uvula as he cried out, his seed pouring out of his cock coating the back of your throat. You swallowed his load loudly, causing him to groan out.
"Shit, maybe you should go on trips more often if this'll be the outcome." He chuckled. "Just wait til we get home though, I'll give you a welcome of my own."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: thanks for reading! Lmk if there's anyone else you'd like to see, and I can write it.
Also, I didn't proofread this as in depth as I usually do, so apologies if there are mistakes!!
3K notes · View notes
two-white-butterflies · 5 months ago
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★ — imgonnagetyouback | max verstappen
Description: Max ends the relationship with a phone-call.
Pairing: actress!reader/max verstappen
Disclaimer: Everything written in this fanfic holds no truth about anyone's personality or actions. It is made purely for entertainment.
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A/N: everything i do used to be inspired by the 2014 ver. grimes. reader is unhinged as her, but gets development in the end!! THIS IS AN ODE TO THE "MONSTER" TITLED FIC I READ ABOUT LEE PACE.
"Let's break up."
Let's break up.
You could still hear the aftertaste of his voice on your ears. How nonchalant he sounded while denying a relationship of seven years. Why was he quick to leave? Did he find someone else?
You sniffled, wiping your snot with a tissue on your right.
I'm gonna get revenge.
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yourname: me, the dogs and @edmundquandt
liked by 728,391 others
>comments
maxversworldargentina: huh isn't she dating max? did u break up?
reversethismess: Who is he?
victoriaverstappen: ❤️
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Y/N L/N AND FORMULA ONE DRIVER, MAX VERSTAPPEN CONFIRM THEIR BREAKUP.
Yesterday UMG Inc. Agency released a statement to SSN confirming the breakup between Y/N L/N and her Formula One boyfriend.
The pair began to date each other in 2017, where Verstappen was accepted into Toro Rosso and Redbull Racing. They have been together for 7 years and have been dubbed as the most iconic couple in the Formula One paddocks.
Rumors between the two splitting emerged late March, however the couple affirmed that they were still dating each other. On December, however the netizens were greeted with radio silence.
According to L/N's team: the breakup was mutually agreed upon, as they grew apart from all the travelling required for their job.
>comments
grills93: I can't make it go away by making you a villain, I guess it's the price I pay for seven years in heaven.
lnworld: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND HER NEW INSTA POST WITH EDMUND???? NOOOOOOO
carshfo: she defo cheated with edmund bcs no way lol
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Max's pulse was racing at the sight of you around another man's arms. Seeing your arms wrapped around his shoulders, leaning into him for balance as you laughed at a joke that wasn't funny at all. "- and then we found out that there wasn't a building in the hotel with those rooms." Edmund finished his joke.
By that time, you were already laughing uncontrollably.
Max clenched his jaw.
A piece of his heart regretted breaking up with you.
"Control yourself mate, he's a big investor." Yuri reminds.
Max didn't give a flying fuck. He didn't own any Redbull stocks. He's a good driver, this Edmund Quandt has nothing on him. His features only soften once he remembered the reason why he broke up with you. He wanted to focus more on his career. He wanted to test the pond for more fish.
He needed upgrades on his car.
Fuck.
He needed to chafe his knees for this guy.
"Funnily enough, when I was in Texas I had a similar encounter. I knew exactly what to do." Edmund placed a hand on the small of your back. Max prevents his eyelids from twitching.
Charles smiles, showing the crowd his dimpled cheeks. Charles always had the ability to charm other people. He was perfect, and now he's friends with Mr. Quandt whom he only met.
"I'm sorry for asking this Edmund, but are you two...?" Charles paused, allowing the other man to fill in the blanks. Edmund smiles - pearly white teeth and a godly physique.
Max doesn't fail to observe the glance that Edmund gives you, a look that asked for your permission.
"We're dating each other, for a month now - but we're still testing the waters." you chuckled, ignoring the presence of your ex-boyfriend despite his figure melancholily staring at you.
"I just want to put a ring on her." Edmund admits.
The other people fade into the background.
"My father always says, give her a ring with a big diamond so she won't be able to see how much of a monster you are." he teased.
"You're not a monster." your eyebrows merged into each other.
Max wanted to punch the air.
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yournamepriv: i love this big baby 🥺 @e123456
liked by 92
>comments
haileybeiber: i love this for u omgg
sophierichiegrange: So cute ❤️🥺
e123456: You got my good side! - yournamepriv: Ur good side is 360 degs
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Max takes a deep breath. Again.
You forgot to remove him as a mutual in your private account. And he was greeted by a picture of you kissing Edmund Quandt. His mind raced through a million different thoughts. Regret, anger, resentment - but they were mostly filled of regret.
He didn't appreciate what he got, and now it's gone.
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maxandynfanbase: do you get deja vu? 😭
liked by lewishamilton and 72,192 others
>comments
mercyplease9: EDMUND IS SO TALL??
ohnoaosd9: lewis we can see u 💀
holyhell1: i like pic 2 more
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yourname: visited some mangrove swamps with this big baby. 🥺your integrity makes me seem small... #savethemangroves tagged: edmundquandt
liked by maxverstappen, lewishamilton and 1,283,923 others
taylorswift: You and Edmund have the KINDEST heart. - yourname: thanks taytay i wanna see u and trav here next time - taylorswift: Will do! I'll tell you when my schedule clears up. - yourname: love u ❤️
haileybeiber: We love a momma who cares
sophierichiegrange: <3
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"I can't believe she's out there helping the fucking mangroves." Max places his phone on the couch.
He couldn't believe your sudden change in tune, that drastic of a change to come from someone like you? "She used to complain being in the EU because it meant not using plastic straws." he breathed, still choosing to believe that you were like him.
Still the same crazy. Still the same stupid.
"She's really being fake for him." he shook his head.
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yourname: i totes know how to play 🎾 this friday we're having an event for all the young racecar drivers that unfortunately can't afford to pursue the sport. all proceeds will go to @bmwfoundationsports and the @grandprixtrust !!
liked by edmundquandt and 1,283,912 others
>comments
edmundquandt: ❤️
CharlesLeclerc: Will be in attendance. 🫡
oracleredbullracing: We love a Queen with a good heart
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maxverstappenupdates: Max Verstappen in @bmwfoundationsports and @grandprixtrust.
liked by kellypiquet and 23,392 others
>comments
youalloverme: HE LOOKS SO SAD...
maxismybf: Hadnsumm
posyposie: wondering if a dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life
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He takes another sip of his whiskey, forgetting about the cameras that snapped his figure left and right. There were a million things he wanted to say to you, but he wanted to start with a question.
"I never imagined seeing you change yourself for a guy." he scoffed.
You turned around with your eyebrows raised. Flabbergasted at his insinuation. "Change myself?" you repeated the word, finding it to be hilarious on his tongue.
"The whole save the earth, save the kids thing - you don't care about that. I understand though, money is money and your boyfriend has a lot of that." Max allowed the alcohol to speak in his behalf.
"You don't have the right to talk about me or my integrity. You abandoned me, remember?" you argued, feeling anger pulse through your veins.
Since he left, you tried to make yourself better.
"When I was with you, we were both horrible people. Quite literally the rich people cliche that we promised not to become. I guess you were right, we weren't growing together - and now I've become a better person without you - all because of Edmund." you gritted your teeth, grabbing the champagne on the table before the media realized that the 'ex-lovers' were talking to each other.
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(PRE-EDMUND QUANDT.)
I'm gonna get revenge.
That night you planned to ruin his chance at winning by exposing a flaw in the car that would allow the other drivers to overtake him. A button outside of the car - with the engineers that could remotely turn off a key engine that allowed his car to move faster.
He told you about it because driving at that speed endangers his life, and if you were the only one in the administration panel that knew about it - he made it your duty to push that button.
You grabbed your laptop, sneaking inside the garage. "What are you doing?" a voice emerged from behind you, and you momentarily stopped with the program.
You turned around - only to be greeted with your ex-boyfriend, Edmund Quandt. A man that your parents adored. A man whom everyone thought was going to become your husband, and he was here - behind you. Looking at you.
"Just grabbing my things, I won't be here anymore." you lied. Despite your obvious lie, he chose to give you the benefit of the doubt. He always kinda chose to see the better side of a person, rather than thinking the worst of them first.
"Oh why is that?" he asked with a smile. "Because of things..." you evaded the question - not wanting to rant about your other ex-boyfriend that broke up with you because of a phone call.
"Are you done with grabbing your things?" his eyes narrowed.
"Oh yeah." you breathed.
You had to evade your plan of revenge.
"Do you want to grab some coffee?" he offered.
"Of course."
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Max Verstappen I'm really sorry for doing that. Must be all the Whiskey I drank 😅
Y/N L/N Drunk actions are sober thoughts, Max
Max Verstappen I still shouldn't have confronted you It's just really weird seeing you post things like save the turtles, donate to the kids we never gave a fuck about those 😆
Y/N L/N Yeah, I didn't care about them But now I do We used to be the same but now we aren't
Max Verstappen ?
Y/N L/N You broke up with me because you wanted to focus on your career Because all you care about is money and success We both got stuck on that We didn't see the value in other things When we broke up, Edmund brought me back to earth Opened my eyes to the privilege we've been granted
Y/N L/N Take this as a warning Max The high life isn't gonna last forever
*blocked*
738 notes · View notes
keruimi · 6 months ago
Text
Your Dream
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Pairing: Obanai Iguro x reader
Warnings: Mention of Sexual Abuse, Death, Total Angst
Note: It has a similar plot with my other Obanai Oneshot but why do I feel like this hurts more? Anyways, I am back to writing Kny especially when it's angst. And yes, it's Obanai Iguro again, my favorite character. The only reason I wrote this is because of the Obamitsu Angst in my fyp like stop reminding me, it really hurts. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it because I don't want to suffer alone.
____________________________
It was a normal life I live, working as an average kakushi who is mostly assigned in the kitchen.
When an odd request from Oyakata-sama changes my routine. When he assigned me to deliver meals to the new pillar, the Snake Hashira, Obanai Iguro.
At the age of eighteen, I finally experienced the anger of a Hashira with just my presence.
Knowing I was silent my whole life, I never found the reason why the Hashira glared at me on our first meeting.
I can't even count how many meals have been ignored or thrown whenever I deliver it to him.
Feeding the Snake Hashira became part of my routine that I completely memorize the route of his manor since he doesn't want anyone to be with him.
"Y/n, please take care of Obanai Iguro's health for me"
Those are the words I hold onto as I tolerated the cold treatment of the Hashira.
I lost track of the times I stay outside the freezing cold when he doesn't want to open his door for me.
It became more torturing when my heart suddenly beat faster when he started treating me differently after a year.
When he finally started to accept the food I cooked and delivered to his manor. Even if he can't finish it, I am thankful that it wouldn't become a waste anymore.
I knew our simple interaction progressed more when he allowed me to come closer to his space. Even a job that I shouldn't be doing, I'm doing it for him.
Like cleaning his manor, grinding ink for him, and helping him sort different poetry he has written.
Those simple moments introduce me to the new side of him that I slowly fell in love with.
It made me want to try harder until the walls he built around him completely fall down.
Until he can finally open his heart to me.
But that friendship I tried to stabilize, brick by brick, became nothing when he met her in the Ubuyashiki mansion.
My effort is almost nothing with how easy she manages to make him soften to her.
And I started to look for the reasons why.
The friendship I tried so hard to build is ruined and I felt like I went back to the first time we met.
The cautious aura that made it difficult for me to connect to him.
And I knew those thoughts are really happening when the food I brought is left untouched.
"I have already eaten with Mitsuri"
It was the sentence I kept hearing but I didn't stop doing my duty of making his food for him.
Because I learned to love taking care of him.
Those tasty delicacies I used to love cooking, change when I noticed he was disgusted just by the smell of it.
I adjusted so many things that I completely forgot what I really love.
Just to serve him right.
I prevent the cough that is threatening to leave my mouth as I grind ink for the Hashira I am serving.
As he wrote the letter he always sent to her.
It was breaking me. But I have no right to feel anything for him.
I already knew ever since, that a high-ranking warrior like him is not meant to love me.
But the weak side of me silently yearn that he can return it.
But seeing how in love he is with another woman. I knew I never had a place in his heart.
But just a mere presence that accompanies him in the garden.
I was just a shadow he would never notice. A person that serves him, and he would not change his perspective on me.
I was beside him so I could serve him, not to love him.
I wipe the single tear and escape my eyes before he notices as I force my body to move according to what he wishes.
While he remained clueless of my emotion that I tried so hard to get rid of.
The emotion that broke my heart when I saw the ring in his room while I was cleaning.
I could never look at the mirror just to see how my eyes portrayed the pain I felt when I saw it.
"Obanai-san really liked Mitsuri, don't you?" I mustered up the courage to speak my thoughts with a slight teasing tone as my back faced him.
I bit my lip to stop the sob that is threatening to be heard as I heard shuffling behind me.
"Obanai-san must treat Mitsuri-san right. Marriage is a dream for every woman. Especially when they will have a good man to love" I turned to him with a smile as I slowly opened my eyes and saw how soft his eyes turned because of embarrassment.
I don't know his past. I don't know what he loves.
I don't know Obanai Iguro.
But I know he has a hard time trusting others.
"I hope you both live a happy life" I managed to let out but it came out as a whisper as I took my things and left the room.
I froze the moment I left his manor as the tears I managed to subside finally escaped my eyes as I found myself crying on the way back to the village I live in.
I knew it was coming but my heart won't stop aching. My eyes can't stop crying. My mouth can't stop sobbing.
I really love him.
But he is not mine.
~•°•~
I lost track of the years when the female kakushi started to serve me.
The only woman I allow to enter my manor with the excuse of serving me.
Because I thought of changing myself even a little no matter how much I feel fear or disgusted by a female approaching me.
Because she gave effort to providing me with the most comfortable thing I needed. Especially during my meal time.
Starting with a simple window being opened, creating less flavorful food that I can tolerate.
I knew she was adjusting for me so I let her presence in my everyday life. Until that became like a friendship I was thankful for.
I can talk to someone about things without including battles.
I love her like a family.
That explained how my body felt frozen when I heard the news of what happened to her on the way to my manor.
The news of her being taken advantage of by a man who manages to memorize her route to my manor due to her everyday routine of walking her way there.
The anger I felt was unexplainable that I can find myself hurting a fellow human.
I knew humans can be evil, but I didn't know I could hate them more than I hate demons.
But I thought I made a mistake too.
If I just let her stay in my manor so she wouldn't exert too much energy just for my food, I could protect her better.
I know I'm slowly losing control when my self-restraint almost fell apart when I visited her quarters and I found her silently sitting at the corner of her room, hugging her knees.
As the spark in her eyes completely vanishes.
"She refused to eat nor let another woman near her. When the others approach her, she flinches. We don't know how to approach her anymore" the Kakushi who led me to her room stuttered out as I felt my hand grip the wooden door in anger.
Yet my eyes badly wanted to cry for her.
"Shinobu tried to check on her but she started to cry whether she was near. We just confirm the situation when the evidence of the sexual abuse was present in her body when we found her unconscious in the forest"
"Stop talking" I snap at him who immediately keeps his mouth shut as my snake hiss at him who scurried away.
"Y/n, it's me" I knocked on the door even though it was already open to make her aware of my presence in the room.
I don't know how I control my voice who I thought will be expressed in a trembled tone.
I am a man.
That is the first thought that came to my mind that made me decide to sit at the floor near the door.
"Obanai Iguro, you know me, right?" I spoke again and she kept her silence making my hands tighten its hold on my pants.
I'm not used to this side of her.
"Are you scared of me?" I asked slowly as silence occupied the entire room before she shook her head a little.
"May I come closer?"
With that question, I notice how her hands tighten on the blanket surrounding her making me release a shaky breath.
I never knew I was willing to hurt a fellow human just for her.
It made me want to make the man suffer badly. Worse than what he did to her.
"I'm sorry" I was left speechless when those were left on her lips and I immediately shook my head.
"Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. It was them that wronged you" I am not good at words but I wanted to completely express my concern and pain for her.
I badly wanted to avenge her.
"It was me who should apologize because I was not there for you"
"I am not your responsibility..." She whispered and I shook my head once again, wishing for her to look at me even once so she can see how badly I am hurt for what she has experience.
How desperate I am to show she was not alone during this time.
"You are. Because you are important to me" I felt tears in my eyes as Kaburamaru slithered his way to her and slowly circled around her shoulder in a protective manner.
"I am tainted..."
"You're not" I firmly stated. "I am the tainted one between the two of us" those words quickly left my lips without any hesitations and she finally had the courage to look in my direction.
"So don't look at yourself that way. For me, you are still the same Y/n that accompanied me" I stuttered out as I tried to stabilize my breathing.
"I will seek justice for you. That's a promise"
I saw how a tear left her eyes as she looked outside the window. Removing her gaze on me.
"In our generation, marriage is every woman's dreams. Is a symbol of acceptance. Is where you will really feel you are loved and chosen by someone" she whispered.
"But in order to be chosen, you need to be pure, compliant, and well-mannered. That's what it takes to be a good wife" she stated as Kaburamaru nuzzled his head on her cheek when he noticed her difficulty in breathing.
I badly want to lend her my shoulder to lean on, an advice to make her mind clear. But in this situation, we both knew she just needed an ear to listen to her.
Someone to comfort her with just presence.
"But if you don't meet those requirements, you will be shunned by society. You will lose the qualification that a wife has."
"Right now, I will not be the wife of someone. I will not be married to a man I will dedicate my life to. Because I don't have my purity that only my husband should have." She whispered.
It was a painful word to state out loud. But right now, I can't read her.
Because she completely closed off her emotions.
"I don't fit the standard that a wife should have." She whispered as she buried herself in her blanket that hid herself from me.
"And it hurted so badly"
I closed my eyes when she spoke those words.
And I hate myself because I can't do anything for her but just torture her attacker.
"What else is your dream other than marriage?" I ask her as she closes her eyes to rest it for a little while.
"I want to meet the one that is willing to spend their entire life with me" it was a hopeful wish.
Silence occupy the room and I thought she fall asleep until she whispered the words I never expected to hear from her.
"I love you..." It was barely heard but I knew it was the words she hide for so long.
That made it known to me that I could grant that dream to her.
But I decide to give her the time she needs to heal from that painful experience.
She needs to heal.
Those are the thoughts I could only think of as I laid her down in her bed in a more comfortable position when I noticed she had finally fallen asleep.
But I never expected that it would be the last time I would see her with her eyes open.
Because when I came back the next day, the news of her death was the one that greeted me.
It was a nocturnal death because her heart failed during her sleep.
It finally felt like my whole world collapsed and my mind completely shut down.
If it weren't for Sanemi being beside me, I would have completely fallen on the floor as I kneel in front of her room.
It hurts.
I wanted it to stop.
But I know that nothing could make her happy anymore.
Because that nightmare would continue living within her for the rest of her life.
I never manage to cherish her smiles more. I only shrugged the moments I have with her because I thought we would stay that way.
That I never knew I was running out of time.
It took every cell in my body to approach her cold body that is covered with white cloth as I kneeled beside her.
I silently slid the ring that she found on my mansion in her finger as tears continued escaping from my eyes as Sanemi just stood behind me.
I lost someone who made me feel like I have the family I never have.
In this life, we were parted to heal.
But I will make sure that her wish will be granted.
"In this life" I started to whisper as my lips lean on her fingers where the ring stays.
"As God as my witness, I promise to take you as my bride. Give myself as your other half" I keep mumbling as I squeeze her cold hand as tears continue to fall from my eyes.
"That even death can never separate us. Because in our next life, I'll make sure, that I will utter this words to you again"
And in that life, you will be alive to hear it
437 notes · View notes
just4koo · 1 year ago
Note
Hii! How are you doing? Can you please write hurt to comfort with Jungkook, when he walks out to cool off after an argument and Y/n thinks he left her? :)
i'm doing well, i hope you are too! i kinda got carried away on this request and wrote a lott of angst haha... (it hurt my heart)
never go to sleep angry - jjk.
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summary: one of the most important rules of your relationship was to never go to sleep angry. when the rule was ignored, it led to an argument and a huge misunderstanding.
word count: 5.0k
genre/warnings: established relationship, a lot of angst, comfort, misinterpreting words, argument between them, y/n feels really shitty, mutual confusion, cute ending though
-- ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ --
There was one rule that you and Jungkook always had set up in your relationship. It was one of the reasons that you two were able to stay together for so long. How you had gotten through so many tough times, arguments, and disagreements. One thing that you two agreed on for the past 4 years you had been together.
Never go to sleep angry.
Even though it seems like something that may not matter too much, it had always worked for you two. Being in a relationship meant disagreeing on things. Relationships could be hard, but loving Jungkook was always easy. He made all of the hard times worth it. There weren't many things the two of you fully argued about because of this one rule. Communication was key in your relationship, and the two of you were always able to deescalate the situations so they wouldn't blow up.
It was the rule until now, it seemed.
If you had realized the way that you were making your boyfriend feel, it could've turned out so different. He hadn't spoke up about it because he knew how stressed you were. Later hours at a job meant that you didn't have time for the things you used to. After covid wiped through the world, your company had taken a huge hit. Budget cuts meant people being laid off of their jobs, and the ones that weren't fired got their work loads doubled, or even tripled.
Your job was a work at home -- returning late from work hadn't been the problem. Even if it was, Jungkook knew. He understood how consuming work could be, but he had been working crazy hours everyday since he was 13. He knew how his schedule worked and how to arrange things to make time between the two of you. This workload was new for you, and so he didn't get angry when you were stuck to your laptop for hours after your scheduled workday ended.
It was more of the way you dealt with the stress that got to him. Being stressed meant that you had been getting more irritable. If he tried talking to you when you were working, he was met with a dry "mhm" or a short look that told him you weren't interested. If he tried actually getting your attention, he would just receive snippy answers. He was trying to be understanding, but that also meant ignoring the most important rule of your relationship. Just like you tried to prevent, everything blew up.
"I've just been stressed out, Jungkook! I thought you said you understood!" You shouted at your boyfriend. What had turned into a simple conversation about him asking if you could spend your free day going on a date for the first time in a couple months had turned into this argument. You wanted to take the single free day off to rest your fingers from typing until your fingers locked up, he finally felt the festering irritation out, and it wasn't turning out pretty.
"I do understand, _____! If anyone does, it's me! You've been thinking about yourself this whole time! I try to be nice, I try to be understanding. You just shut me out! Just because you're stressed out or having a hard time doesn't mean you're allowed to treat me this shitty!" You were almost speechless as you listened to him vent to you about his feelings. You had been trying to justify yourself, but the longer this argument continued, the more you realized how you had been treating him.
"I tried so hard. You only try to push me away now. I've always had draining schedules, but I never took it out on you. I knew that this whole thing was new for you, I gave you time to adjust. But I just can't stand this anymore!" Jungkook groaned, putting his face in his hands. You had become ignorant about how your boyfriend felt, trying too hard to explain why you were treating him this way. He had enough of this. You were angry right now, and anger led to you being irrational.
He knew that he needed to get out of the house before the two of you said anything else you regretted. He didn't want the two of you to be blinded by anger and the best thing to do was to cool down. He tried to take in a deep breath as he turned around to walk towards the coat rack. You watched in disbelief as he started to put on his coat and lace up his shoes. Was he really walking out on the argument?
"Are you serious right now!? You started this argument, and now you're just trying to walk away from it?!" You accused him, crossing your arms over your chest. All Jungkook did was shake his head to himself. If you wanted to be petty, then it was only fair for him to do the same. He wasn't going to let himself be a personal punching bag anymore.
"You're right, I am walking away. I can't do this, ______. Get your shit together." You only scoffed at what he said, rolling your eyes in annoyance. Too consumed by your own pride, you didn't say anything as he left, didn't try to stop him. If he wanted to walk out, that was his problem. You felt like you had an excuse for the way you had been. You hadn't even realized how badly your treatment had gotten.
You spent most of the day grouchy now, too sidetracked to focus on your work. The argument happened pretty early in the afternoon, meaning you got most of the day to think about it. You knew he was going to come back before it was bedtime, or at least you thought you knew. Because it had been the most important rule, right? So you spent the whole day trying to formulate an argument to use against him.
The longer you thought about it though, the more uneasy you felt about the situation. It was growing later and later with every passing minute, and there was no sign of your boyfriend. No text or call, no jingling of his keys in the doorway, not even a text from his brother asking what had happened. Him and his brother were very close. He was usually the person Jungkook went to whenever you got into arguments, and his brother had even helped the two of you. He always texted when Jungkook showed up at his place, but there were no notifications.
You had already taken your nightly shower and was sitting on the bed in silence, huffing to yourself. He was being too petty, you thought. Why couldn't he just understand that you were busy? He was one of the busiest people in the world after all, he should be understanding that you didn't have hours of the day to dedicate to your relationship anymore like you used to be able to do.
While stuck in your thoughts, you sort of froze. He was one of the busiest people in the world. He had countless shoots for music videos, songs, magazines, variety shows. Your boyfriend was a member of one of the most renowned music bands. He spent almost everyday practicing and even spent nights in the studio trying to perfect things. If anyone knew what it was like to live a busy life, it would be him. You'd seen how busy his schedules, how full they were. He had something almost everyday. 
Yet he still made time for you.
You recounted all the times he had come home tired from work or exhausted from a performance. The days he returned with a frustrated or irritated expression from something that happened at work. Not one of those times did he ever take it out on you. He never let things that happened outside your relationship affect how he treated you. Before covid happened, he would be gone even more. Even though he had more time after the pandemic, things were getting back into motion.
He shared how overwhelmed he had been with everything. 2020 had been a break that he didn't even know he needed. He loved his fans, loved his band. But even then, he was still human. Not a machine that could work and be pushed through his schedules. When everything shut down, it meant him also being locked in his house and quarantined from everything. Now that there had been vaccinations and the urgency of the virus had died down, he was thrown right back into everything he had gotten used to being away from.
He had an album releasing soon, and it was taking a lot from him to get back into the flow of things. But he never blamed you for it. Before your job had you working crazy hours, he never got angry whenever you called him during his practices or came to surprise him at his workplace, taking away from his rehearsal time. Because it wasn't your fault for wanting to spend time with him or see him.
A pit was beginning to form in your stomach as you stared down at your lap. All of those times where you interrupted him from his work, you never realized how frustrating it could feel. Not until now when you were also working hard to produce quality work. You thought about all of the times he might've been irritated because he was trying to practice or so close to getting something right, and you came to stop him.
Yet every time he saw you, he was so excited and treated you with love. Even if you were distracting him from his job of performing in front of millions, even billions. Yet you had been doing the exact opposite. You were blaming him for wanting to spend time with you. Mad at him just because he wanted some time with his girlfriend. Fuck, you had been an idiot. Created an unnecessary argument just because you forgot to appreciate him.
You immediately reached for your phone, pressing the contact at the top of your favorites list. It was late now, almost 9pm, and you were worried. You wanted to at least see when he was coming home so you could be sure to stay up until then. You wanted to follow through with your number one rule and wait for him. You wanted to be waiting by the door when he came through to apologize to him.
Frowning when the call immediately went to voicemail, you were almost sent into a stupor. He always answered your calls, no matter what. It was strange for the phone go straight into voicemail, because in his car he always had a phone charger. One quick glance out of your window was the confirmation you needed, he did take his car. 
He had his charger with him. Did that mean he was ignoring your calls then? The phone didn't even ring before it went to voicemail, quicker than any person could decline a call. You weren't someone who worried too easily, but whenever something didn't feel right it made you extremely anxious. This was one of those moments right now. There was something off about the whole situation and you didn't know.
You tried his phone at least two more times, and the same thing happened. Not even a single ring. Every time you were met with the voicemail the two of you had recorded together a couple years ago, the giggling one you recorded with him saying that if he wasn't answering the call, he was probably too busy with his beautiful girlfriend. Your heart hurt when you heard that. How much things had changed scared you.
You went to text him, sending a few messages asking if he was okay. You stared down at the notice that the message had failed to send, the frown in your face getting even deeper. You went back into your contacts app, calling his brother instead. To your short relief, the phone was ringing. But after a few long rings, the phone also went to voicemail. You felt the urge to throw your phone at the wall but instead just cursed under your breath.
You weren't even sure how slow or fast the time was passing right now. All you could do was blankly stare down at your phone, hoping for a call. Had the argument been that bad? Was he really not going to come home after 4 years of sticking to that rule? The clock was nearing 12AM now and you were fidgeting nervously. Going over the argument over and over in your mind again. One particular line suddenly caught your attention.
"You're right, I am walking away. I can't do this, ______."
Your heart practically dropped as you remembered that. It was something you overlooked in the moment because you had been so angry with him, so consumed by your own pride. Those were words he never said to you. Sure, he had left the house a few times to cool down when arguments got too heated. But he would always leave with a reminder that he would be back before dark, that he was going to his brother's house.
Did you really ruin the relationship? All because you had been too focused on your work? You could feel your heart beginning to pound in your chest. He told you that he was walking away from you, that he wasn't going to do this anymore. This, as in the relationship? And you didn't do a thing to stop him when he left. You were so stupid.
Now all of the worst thoughts were going through your mind. Any rationality was leaving you. The calls weren't going through still. Had he blocked you? That was the only conclusion you were believing at the moment. You had been treating him like he was a nuisance for the past few months even though he had always been nothing but loving towards you no matter how crazy his schedule became.
You had been ignoring him whenever he wanted to do something with you or tell him something that had happened during his work. You had taken the small amount of free days you got and spent time relaxing and focusing on yourself rather than spending time with the person you loved more than anything, the person who loved you more than anything. You forgot that a relationship was about loving someone even through hard times.
Any hope you had for yourself was draining as you dug yourself into an even deeper hole. You were someone who worried a lot, but it was something that Jungkook had always helped you work out. Without him here, the problems were coming right back. Especially because this was about him. You had been an asshole of a girlfriend and he had enough. He left, walked out, and blocked you.
All of the years in your relationship felt like they were coming back at once. All of the years you spent together. Loving each other unconditionally. You comforting him whenever he was anxious and insecure, him surprising you with date nights or coming home from trips early to spend time with you. Spending his free days surprising him with things like his favorite dinner. You guys argued as well, but it was what happened in any healthy relationship.
This didn't feel like an argument anymore. Usually they would be resolved, this just felt like the end. You were a shitty girlfriend and he could probably find anyone much better. There were so many girls out there who admired him like a god, who would treat him as such. Girls who didn't take who they got for granted until it was too late and they had already gone.
He left. He was really gone. Those words kept repeating in your mind, and yet it felt like everything was a dream. It felt like you couldn't breathe at the moment. You were the reason this happened. The panic attack was coming quicker than you could stop it, and it was hitting at full force. The clock read 2AM by now. You had been sitting in the bed since 8PM waiting for him to walk into the bedroom. He wasn't coming.
Your whole world was crashing in on itself. Tears were welling up inside your eyes as you laid back on the bed, not feeling enough strength to hold yourself upright again. As you laid down on the bed, you were greeted with the smell of your boyfriend. Was he even your boyfriend anymore? His scent flooded your senses, the familiar smell you'd grown to love so much over the years. It was your breaking point.
With shaky hands you grabbed the blanket, hugging it to your body as the sobs started. Your whole body was trembling with them, curled up as you tried desperately to grasp onto what you felt like was the last of your relationship. The only thought in your mind was that all of this was your fault. Like the ignorant person you were, you lost the most important person to you.
You felt like you would do anything to fix this. To just get one more chance to see him. You would beg at your knees if you needed. Anything to promise him that you would be a better girlfriend to him. But he wasn't going to give you another chance. You only realized now how insignificant your work seemed when he left you. You'd been too distracted by your work that you forgot about the one thing that was more important.
You wanted to do so many things. Scream, throw your laptop at the wall, go out and look for him. But you just couldn't. The realization you felt, the pit in your stomach, the overwhelming sense of guilt. It was all too much for you to move a single limb. You felt overly nauseous, like you would throw up if you moved. 
You weren't someone that was completely dependent on Jungkook. You didn't need him to go about your day correctly. You could spend time apart with him. It was something you actually got used to with him going off on tours. But at this moment, it felt like your world was caving in on you. He was the one person who was always there for you no matter what, and now you had to come to terms with that changing. You sobbed even harder as you realized that.
This was the state that Jungkook saw as he walked back into the house. He knew that he had been gone for a long time, well over 12 hours. He had been cooling off by himself. He didn't even know how long he'd been out. His brother had been gone on vacation, meaning that he didn't have a place to go to. He didn't want to bother his bandmates with his relationship problems, so he could only think of one thing.
He spent the whole day hiking. One of the things he had done as a child growing up in Busan, it was something that helped him clear his mind. He drove a couple hours to the mountains and spend a big majority of the day in the nature. He had no service when he was out there, which helped him refrain from calling you before he had the opportunity to sort out his thoughts.
It had been well past nightfall when he got back down the mountain and he hadn't even realized how late it was. Not until he gained his signal back after he spent even longer at the small village by the bottom of the mountain. He had spent quite a while speaking to some of the elders that he lost track of time and saw it was nearly midnight. He had quickly said goodbye and promised to visit again before leaving.
It was only when he had gotten back onto the main highway that his signal returned and the notifications flooded his phone. He frowned as he looked at all of the missed calls from you, the worried texts. Your most recent one was the most concerning one, one that you had sent just twenty minutes prior.
"i'm sorry i was so shitty. i can pack all of my stuff and be gone in the morning."
He was confused as to why you were texting him that. Why were you packing your stuff and talking about leaving? He tried to call you multiple times, but none of the calls picked up. His own panic was building up as he stepped on the gas, speeding more than he would've liked to admit. It was a two hour drive back and right now he was cursing himself for picking a place so far away. 
You usually never called or texted him when you were separated to cool down from arguments, so he knew that something was different this time. He couldn't think of what was different this time, what had happened that led to you saying that you would be packing up to leave. Was he too harsh on you? Should he have just pushed the problem off even more?
You didn't even register the sound of the door opening, too consumed by your grief. Jungkook had rushed into the apartment, looking around for you. He checked the living room first, and then went straight to the bedroom. He stopped completely in his tracks when he saw you. Curled up on the bed into a ball, clutching your shared blanket to your chest, shaking with quiet and violent sobs.
For a few moments he could do nothing but stare at the sight. Wondering if he really had been too hard on you. He didn't think that his words were too harsh when he was saying them. He had only been speaking his feelings. But as he watched you right now, he felt his heart shattering. He never wanted this. He regretted ever saying anything.
You jumped as you felt a hand lay on your shoulder. Your eyes were swollen from all of your crying, you could barely make out the sight of Jungkook knelt down beside you, frowning with immense concern. You almost couldn't believe that he was right in front of you. Your sobs died down a bit as the two of you stared. You were the first one to break down.
"J-Jungkook, I'm so sorry. I was too consumed with my work and I didn't realize how shitty I treated you. You were right. You've always been so busy with work and you never treated me the way I treated you. I was so stressed by my job that I let it out on you. I was such a bad girlfriend, and I understand why you don't want to be with me anymore. I'm just sorry I didn't notice how bad I was." The way you spoke with small sniffles almost broke his heart and distracted him from what you said.
After he processed his words, his frown only deepened. Why were you speaking to him like this? Saying that you would pack all of your stuff, that he didn't want to be with you anymore, that you were a bad girlfriend? All of his anger was completely gone now and at the moment he just felt extremely confused along with distraught from how destroyed you looked.
"Baby, what are you talking about? Why are you saying all of this?" Jungkook asked with pure bewilderment in his tone. This made you look back at him with an equally confused expression. You weren't expecting this response from him. He seemed like he genuinely didn't know what you were talking about and it made you question everything.
"But.. you blocked me. You said that.. that you couldn't do this and were walking away?" You questioned, your voice cracking with how weak it was after sobbing. Jungkook tilted his head a bit as he tried to recall when he ever said that. After going through the argument in his head, the realization hit him. His eyes widened as he recalled what he said in the heat of the moment. He hadn't clarified what he meant and you had been left alone for however many hours thinking that he had ended the relationship.
"______, I know how those words seemed, but that's not at all what I meant. I was saying that I couldn't do the argument, not the relationship. I would never end things off. I only said I was walking away so I could cool off." Jungkook explained as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Not at all irritated by you, but instead angry at himself. He had only said what he was feeling in the heat of the moment and left.
"What about your phone..? None of my calls went through." You asked him, your voice still full with hurt and doubt. He felt terrible for even making you think for a moment that he wanted to end the relationship. Even though he had been pissed off, he would never end the relationship like that in the heat of the moment. Even enraged he knew it would be the worst mistake he would ever make.
"I went to the mountains to hike and get everything off my mind. My brother is on vacation so that's why I didn't go to him. The place I went had no service and so none of the calls or texts could've gotten through." He told you, and your eyes slightly widened. He was really telling the truth? He didn't want to break up with you? At this point you just felt like you had fallen asleep and this was all a dream.
To confirm this was real, you couldn't hold yourself back anymore and reached out for him, and he wasted no time. He sat down on the bed next to you and pulled you right into his arms. Your body froze as you felt his familiar warmth, smelled his scent with the addition of the smell of nature he'd been around all day. This was real. He wasn't leaving you.
The tears instantly started falling from your eyes, but it was different this time. It was relief. You spent so long crying because you thought he had broken up with you, but it all ended up being a misunderstanding. He wasn't leaving you and you had nothing to worry about. In the past 12 hours it felt like your life had completely ended, but it hadn't.
Jungkook held you closely to him, his fingers carding through your slightly tangled hair while his other hand rubbed small circles into your back. He rested his head on the top of yours, knowing that it was better for you to just get all of your feelings out. Even though nothing made him feel worse than knowing he was the reason that you were crying like this, it was better for you to just let it all out so it didn't bottle up. He had been doing that for the past few months and it turned out like this.
You didn't know how long you had been laying like that in his arms, but when you were finally able to stop crying, you noticed the beginnings of light peeking through the windows. The whole time Jungkook was there for you, whispering sweet things to help you calm down. How much he loved you, how he wasn't going to leave you, that he wasn't angry with you. Anything he could think of to help you calm down.
When you finally had a level enough mind to fully process everything, you felt so much relief. But you still felt the same guilt from before. You were the one that disregarded what he felt and now he was comforting you after an argument that was your fault. You needed to say something to him, to apologize and promise that you would be better. There was no way that you were ever going to let your work consume you again.
"I know I already said this, but I want to say that I'm so sorry. I was so stressed out with my new hours that I got angry and irritated whenever you just wanted to spend time with me. I never should've done that and I realize now how much I took you for granted. You've always made the time for me and I should've done the same for you. I know now how wrong and unfair I was being to you, and I want to be better." You said to him, your voice filled with regret.
Jungkook smiled lightly when he heard your apology. There was no longer any anger in his eyes. No resentment. To him, that was all in the past now. He could hear the sincerity in every word you said. After all, this was the reason that he had started dating you. You were so sweet and considerate towards others. You just needed to realize what you were doing wrong. You were distracted and didn't know you were bring rude.
"It's okay, my love. I know how stressful it's been for you and I'm not angry anymore. I understand how you feel and I accept your apology. I know you didn't realize how you were treating me." Jungkook replied, putting his fingers under your chin so he could tilt your head up to look at him. Even with your red, puffy eyes and runny nose you were so beautiful to him. He gently kissed the tip of your nose before resting his forehead against yours.
"I love you so much. Thank you for always being the best." You mumbled, closing your eyes as you took the time to let yourself bask in the moment. Letting go of all doubts that you felt previously. There was no reason to dwell on this argument, because you knew that you wouldn't make this mistake anymore going on.
"I love you too, always. No matter what happens." Jungkook replied with a bit of reassurance in his tone. You smiled as he said those words to you, leaning forward to close the small gap between the two of you. You were fully calmed down as your lips met and any thoughts that you had melted away in the moment. Everything was okay in this moment. 
Even though this argument had been rough, the two of you had stuck to your most important rule. The two of you went to sleep shortly afterwards, no more feelings of anger or resentment. You would never go to bed angry anymore, realizing just how important that rule was.
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chaotic-archaeologist · 3 months ago
Note
https://nypost.com/2024/08/28/world-news/boy-4-accidentally-smashes-bronze-age-jar-that-was-at-least-3500-years-old/
Your thoughts?
Personally, I'm kinda sick of museums being required to cater to kids so much. If you're going to do this open air exhibit, kids who don't know how to keep their hands to themselves just shouldn't be allowed in. The glass is there for this very reason.
Actually, I'm with the museum on this one. Is it unfortunate that the vase was broken? Yes. Was the vase a valuable piece of the past? Also yes. But I think the museum did something very cool by not having the artifacts behind glass and are handling this with good grace and the sense to make this a learning opportunity.
Sometimes we overlook the fact that museums often attempt to arrest or freeze artifacts in time. They are kept in controlled conditions to prevent them from deteriorating and even treated to reverse damage. Many things on display on museums are elevated beyond their original value, alienated from their original purpose, and closed off from interaction.
It's incredible that this jar survived as long as it did—and its age is what makes it special—but at the end of the day, it is still a jar. It has now experienced the thing that happens to pretty much every jar that has been or will be. After all, decay is an extant form of life. (If you want to read a very well written and interesting take on decay and archaeology, check out this article by Caitlin DeSilvey.)
The article I linked above provides some important context and the update that the museum is planning on using this as an opportunity to teach about the conservation process. The jar's story is not over; it is being pieced back together and in this next chapter in its life it will be able to tell two stories: one of its life and the other of its rebirth. The museum's approach embraces that, exactly like the Japanese art of Kintsugi.
I also agree with the museum's decision not to punish the child or his family. Things go wrong in museums all the time despite their highly controlled environments, and this is why they have artifacts insured. Sometimes the thing that happens is a child, and by and large museums do not seek damages.
I would encourage you to rethink your stance on museums and children. Museums are for everyone. Children have a right to experience museums and what they have to offer just like anyone else. There are also many studies that discuss how going to museums benefits children.
In this case, perhaps the exhibit design was slightly flawed, but the four year old boy accidentally knocked the jar over because he was curious about what was inside and wanted to investigate. Curiosity is exactly what museums should be encouraging. In an ideal world that curiosity would have been channeled into some other kind of engagement, but the folks who work in museums have a lot on their plates and cannot plan everything perfectly all the time. Even if they could, they often do not have the resources to do so.
Finally, the AP article mentions that the boy and his family were visiting the museum to get away from Hezbollah rocket fire. Regardless of your opinions on the current conflict, everyone deserves to have a safe place to exist. That museums can serve as those spaces is an honor.
I commend the Hecht Museum and the people working there. They 1) successfully provided a place of learning and refuge, 2) opted not for a punitive approach—which is often the default Western model for justice—but a compassionate one, and 3) are using this twist of fate to create programming that will further engage the public.
@museeeuuuum and @museum-spaces would you care to comment?
-Reid
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