#tmp opinions

[springypaws]

Warning: the following content contains nonsensical rambling form a potentially delusional and very excited individual who talks a lot. Oh, and The Magnus Protocol spoilers until the meginning of episode 7 (because I was too giddy to continue it tonight).

Okay so I know that starting the Magnus Protocol, my main focus should be the new characters and such, but I genuinely can’t get the fact that Jonny and Alex are playing the voices of two “text to speech programs” that just HAPPENED to appear in this world, on this computer, for seemingly no reason, a year before this story takes place, which may align with TMA 200 and the fact that I can’t stop thinking these are 1000% Jon and Martin (even if they’ve been dubbed otherwise by Alice) and it’s impossible to get them off of my mind

ESPECIALLY IN EPISODE 7. WITH THIS NEW CHARACTER CELIA WHO I’M SO EXTREMELY SUSPICIOUS OF, WHO WAS ASKING WHAT THESE VOICES TALKED ABOUT STATEMENT WISE OR HOW THEY WERE THERE AND MENTIONED HOW THE VOICES BROUGHT BACK MEMORIES/REMINDED HER OF SOMEONE WHDHEJJDJDGGGRGGGHHH I’m genuinely going feral

And all of this focus on the potential (and what I’ve convinced myself to be very, very likely) canon presence of Jon and Martin in The Magnus Protocol doesn’t mean the actual story isn’t captivating so far. In fact, I’m extremely interested, and Colin is, at the moment, my favorite character (as I’m not counting Jon), even though he gives major “oh yeah I’m gonna die first” energy. I adore this grumpy AF man who drinks to cope when he can’t figure out why computers are fucking with him because there’s 100% no better coping mechanism.

So far, Alice may need a bit more warming-up to for me to like her as much as some of the others, but her character is already so intricate and interesting, even if I can understand where Gwen is coming from in her dislike for Alice (not that I necessarily dislike Alice, I just… well, as I said, need some warming-up to with her).

And, speaking of Gwen, she absolutely FASCINATES me. Like at first I thought she was the typical “oh I just don’t want to be here” type of individual, but having this attitude because of the fact that she’s impatient in her desire to grow in rank in the organization? I may have seen some similar character concepts, but for some reason hers really has me feeling like I haven’t seen it before. Not to mention the fact that she doesn’t appear completely hostile towards her coworkers, which is a nice diversion from the typical “oh ho I want your job” types.

I also think I like Lena quite a lot, actually; she might also be up there on my favorites so far. Obviously, I’m pretty sure she’s gonna be some sort of antagonistic figure in one way or another, but I genuinely feel like she doesn’t mean to be such to cause harm, or to follow some selfish goal (cough cough unlike a certain someone from tma 1 cough cough).

I’m a bit disappointed at Teddy leaving so early too, although I’m fairly confident he’s gonna show up again in some way or another— hopefully alive and well. It’s unlikely, but we can hope, because he’s just a silly little guy who doesn’t deserve to be punished for being what I imagine to be a big grizzly softy. I’m fascinated by his and Colin’s history and what they’ve experience together/know, but that’ll probably be discovered/explained soon enough.

OH AND SAM. I haven’t decided what I think of Sam yet, since I feel like we haven’t discovered much about him quite yet, but he seems silly and gives me major Cavetown vibes, for whatever reason. He would definitely own some kind of light olive green thing somewhere or something. He’s also a fool for falling for Celia because she’s absolutely not trustworthy and should not be crushed on but he’s just in love so it’s fine

[spirkbitch]

there was definitely at least one breakup in my opinion so that’s why i specified ‘first’ got together

(also if you think it was in between just pick the closest option)

[magnusunpopularopinions]

i really wish the fandom paid attention to wlw/nmlnm ships/female characters in general more :( i think its kind of strange how (to my knowledge) theres more doorkeay content than daisy x basira, or melanie x georgie when michael and gerry have literally never met,, (obviously im not upset about them being shipped or that the fandom pays attention to male characters more often--most of the cast literally is men, i just wish the female characters were talked about more since they're equally as important/interesting)

Thanks for sharing! Let’s chat!

I figure I’d pull this outta the hat considering all the doorxkeay content on the blog recently! (That is to say, this was submitted BEFORE the other asks!)

I agree with anon!

I do wish we could see more of the ladies being appreciated around here. Protocol, being made up of mostly women, has proven that fans are perfectly capable of this sort of appreciation, but you don’t see it as much for Archives!

I also appreciate anon saying that they have nothing against doorxkeay. They do honestly serve as a great example for anon’s point. And yes, to be fair, there are lots of men in Archives. It’s easy to pay more attention/make it seem like more attention is being paid to them when they are the majority.

Thanks again for sharing!

What about you guys? What are your thoughts?

And remember- keep your words kind! Thanks!

-E

>Hello! I’m E, and I created this blog to be a safe space to share Magnus Archives/Protocol opinions in! If you are seeing this in a reblog, I want you to know three things:

1) I value respect and kindness over anything.

2) I cannot control what others say in response to anyone’s opinions.

3) Only you can control your emotions/actions/words. Choose to respond with gentleness, not anger. After all, we all are here for the same reason- why not enjoy each other’s company?

Thanks, and have an awesome day/night!<

[firadessa]

Please acknowledge Bleakwatch Chronicles, Tinker Bell and the Lost City. I understand that BW chronicles may not have as much fans and are turned off by the art style. Also the author never posted (Zack Loran Clark) much promo for the book unlike Allison, nor mentioned anything about DF on his IG page. It is intended for a younger audience. However, I am much more excited for this book as it pertains to the movie universe. So please, just clap if you believe if you will.

As this is the first book to come out since 2017 that is labeled as "Disney Fairies" and the second spinoff- like this is important. You don't have to buy the book or give it the free promotion, but acknowledge the existence of it at least. WoS is not labeled as DF, if it matters.

Here are some of the reasons why I am more excited for Bleakwatch Chronicles than I am for Wings of Starlight by Allison Saft (Clarion x Milori YA Novel):

It's a post canon story implied to take reference to the cancelled Tinker Academy movie where TB goes to study at the Tinker Academy on the mainland. The art seems like they took references especially when directly compared to the concept art. WoS is a backstory.

It releases first, BWC releases in November 2024 and WoS releases in Feb.

It seems like more of original concept to me, literally because of the new concepts like the Flutterpunks and the implied secret cities of the Bleakwatch and Clockwork Capital.

New characters like Quin and Ozwald will be joining TB on this journey.

It expands on a old concept, and tweaks it in a way that makes more sense. IMO, an idea like a Tinker Academy seems to hold less weight because before the events of Tinker Bell fairies couldn't go to the mainland to spread nature, and it's implied they always stay. It is also implied in GFR that Tinker fairies don't typically go to the mainland even if TB's inventions help them in the intensive summer season (the song implies that's why she's there- it's implied in the first movie she goes there whenever she has a job) Vidia is dismayed by this and says "this is why Tinker fairies don't go to the mainland" whilst TB is checking out the car. In a deleted storyboard for Tinker Academy it is implied that it is a prestigious academy that FM gets into before the events of Tinker Bell, yet to me the idea of underground London tinkers makes more sense to me than the academy. Think about it, it's implied that TB and FM are some of the most brilliant Tinkers in pixie hollow and yet the Tinker population is small. (only Clank and Bobble greet her and we see no one in green outfits) Why do you think that is? I personally like the idea of rogue Tinkers who would scavenge on the mainland for parts and self-exile themselves from Pixie Hollow. It explains why FM calls the lost things junk, if the difference in mindset between the mainland tinkers and the pixie hollow tinkers was that the mainland Tinkers are considered "scraps" (get it) while the PH tinkers are considered more put together and community driven. It makes sense that TB being a brilliant Tinker that outshines even Vidia gets such an audience if brilliant Tinkers do not normally last in PH because they are seen as too curious and ambitious, opting to start their own community of outcast Tinkers in the mainland. Vidia's talent switch in The Pirate Fairy also implies that Tinkers have the gift of thought, and literally think differently (regardless of personality) then their non-tinker peers because it's their talent. There is much potential for this storyline as it adds more nuance to the Tinker Bell movie and the dynamic between the nature and non nature talents, something I think it would benefit from. It makes a lot of sense if the edgier steampunk designs came from a secret Tinker counterculture and not a secret academy imo.

The implication of this book suggest revitalizing the Disney Fairies franchise, possibly not just as a "brand". Not sure what that could mean but it's interesting

IMO, Wings of Starlight has more of a "booktok" vibe I'm getting from it. I'm not just saying that because it's YA, but given the (beautiful) cover design it feels more targeted for what Disney thinks grown fans of Disney Fairies might like based on whatever market research was done (and you know it was). WoS has been receiving better marketing and there are people out here that don't even know two books exist. I'm not saying the book looks lazy, slapped together, or unoriginal- or it will just be corporate and bland, I mean I'm a Disney Fairies fan I don't believe that everything is corporate greed lol and like to see creativity in the "unexpected". But I hope that future Disney Fairies books won't just be going for what is "trendy" to reel people in and instead invest in creative storytelling *in general*, in other words I hope they keep concepts and genres broad and inclusive enough so we have the potential for more creative stories. Not just expanded stories on specific characters and stories like the Twisted Tales series, or sticking to specific genres for this specific niche audience in a way that feels too specific. I feel like there has to be some sort of balance struck, or DF may be a little stuck for a while and may still have "missed potential".

On expanded stories, like I said, Disney has done a lot of that and there is an audience for that. However, I prefer the idea of post canon more than a backstory or expansion. From what I know, we know some details of the Milarion backstory and it will be adding more layers and expanding on the dynamics of the existing characters, where the new book seems to be more lore driven in focus.

I don't like Secret of the Wings that much in terms of lore as a lore fanatic. I feel like this book could also retcon other things when possibly trying to explain things that make sense in SOTW. If BWC is good, I can imagine myself thinking about it more after it releases but I can just imagine myself thinking more of how I felt and my emotional reaction after WoS with fading interest afterward, it just sort of feels like the book could resonate with me more y'know? and I got a pretty good gut feeling for that sort of thing.

Underdog bias, just acknowledge it's existence. Do that with the NG graphic novels from 2022, heck the whole Never Girls series. Do that with the whole DF franchise if you are new here somehow. That's it, that's the post.

The mystery. What is the mysterious pocketwatch and who's on the cover?

Copy and pasted plot summary- Tinker Bell loves nothing more than solving a problem. For her, red buttons demand to be pushed, treasure maps need to be followed, and lost things ought to be found. So when a strange fairy crash lands in Pixie Hollow and leaves Tinker Bell two clues to find a mysterious necklace on the Mainland, she really doesn’t have a choice but to help. However, her journey takes an unexpected turn when she discovers a hidden city of fairies living below the streets of London.

In this city called Bleakwatch, she’ll meet the Flutterpunks, the most infamous band of trinket scavengers around. Helping her may just give them their biggest score yet. But when the Flutterpunks’ plan goes haywire, they’ll be forced to choose between a big payday or saving their new friend.

When their adventure takes them inside the glittering Clockwork Capital, Tinker Bell and the Flutterpunks will uncover a villainous secret that threatens all the fairies in Bleakwatch. It turns out there’s more at stake than just finding a missing necklace, and it’ll be up to Tinker Bell to set things right. Luckily, that’s what tinker fairies do best!

[lichqueenlibrarian]

In universe Kirk drift

[darkbitchithic]

Thinking a Lot about the Colin and audio in The Magnus Protocol

To my understanding, almost every audio clip we have heard (maybe even every?) has been recorded by the computers or various electronic devices spontaneously recording (often without the knowledge of those we are listening in on). we are hijacking someThing or someOne as they listen in and learn about our characters and through that we gain insights

But we have almost no audio of Colin, do we? some of the most recent episodes and a few posts I've seen pointing this out have really put into perspective just *how* little of Colin we've heard. He has built himself a little faraday cave, a blackout zone where no unvetted devices can come in or out. He Knows there is something going on and he is fighting tooth and nail to keep himself separate.

I so desperately want to know what his plans are and what he's thinking but We can only know as much as those listening do, and the longer we don't know, the longer They don't know either. it's such a fun little situation to be in and I'm so eager to see what is done with it!

[statementlives]

at the end of the day, i'm just happy our beloveds (eldritch computer errors) have returned from war <3

[starry-teacup]

heyyyy so this account has been dead for a while now but as tmp is here can I just get a general consensus on this

[jackboxconfess]

I find it fascinating that pretty much everybody gives their Nate Shaprio interps painted nails, when canonically he's self-conscious about even getting a pedicure. Not to mention, he has a pretty nasty nail-biting habit. Kinda reminds me how most of the fandom gives their TMP Killer interps masks when he's explicitly stated to not wear one. Like i'm not saying "raaah your interps are WRONG, change em, raahhh!", i just think it's interesting. Draw your refs however you want, it's a free country!... Except if you make your interp of the wheel short and/or a twink, do not make your interp of the wheel of enormous proportions short and/or a twink, i will be in your walls.

nate doesn't want a pedicure because he's self conscious of his foot fungus not his nails (plus i think ray offering to do a pedicure in the first place implies nailcare is something nate likes)

+

think redacted mentions wearing a mask in a non-english tmp

[rainbowresurrection]

I don't think Bones eyerolls about Kirk & Spock. I think he's really really chill about it

[umber-cinders]

Just a warning to the few people reading Winter Moon:

This next chapter is dummy long...Like 11k words. It could technically be a double chapter sooo...One long Mukbang or split up into two chapters?

[1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt]

Sexism in TOS: Worst Offender, or Progressive in Retrospect in Comparison?

I see a lot of folks claim that TOS was the most sexist of the Star Trek shows by a landslide -- and while I agree that it definitely suffered from the sexism of the times, I also have other perspectives to share to give some food for thought.

I am of course not insinuating that TOS isn't sexist -- it is, but I have to ask folks to consider the breadth and depth of Berman's sexism in his run and ask yourself: Was Gene Roddenberry genuinely more sexist in his storytelling and delivery than Rick Berman?

I'm not telling you to feel one way or the other, but all I ask is that you hear me out and consider some perspectives and make your own balanced assessments. Nobody is obligated to share my opinion, but it means a lot just to have folks hear it and see their thoughts on the subject. So here is what I was originally responding to:

Someone's response to this photo:

"Devil's advocate. This was a part of the popular form of cardio during the production time of TNG. Yes, it was heavily sexualised by men, but so is literally every other way women work out. Men have been caught taking pictures of women while trying to do dead lifts, running on tracks and working on sled machines. They post them online to share too. The fact is, there is no way a woman can be shown working out without it going there. And yeah,t hat includes the combat forms of workout they do in Star Trek. Just look at how Dax dresses when she spars with Worf. Yes, they're dating, but still, same goes when 7 does and any other female.

Aerobics routines like this were made dirty and cringy. This was what women wore then by and large. This is how the workout was done. We make it cringy."

My response to them:

"I respect your take, but I disagree on a few fronts.

The miniskirt was chosen by the TOS female cast, not the male cast, specifically requested by Grace LW and affirmed by Nichelle and Majel who would go on to vehemently defend the miniskirt over the years as comfortable and embraced by them.

Grace said it was comfortable and seen as a symbol of female sexual empowerment during the 60s and thought it would be a progressive garment (and turns out that it was, as it was later adapted and worn by male crew as a skant on TNG) -- FYI those were designed by a gay man and Gene approved them.

This was also supposed to be Spock's TMP outfit:

Literally lingerie.

We saw both Uhura (who saves Kirk in from Marlena Mirror Mirror) and Yeoman Landon (the first to initiate combat with a classic Kirk-esque kick to help the Captain being attacked in The Apple) carry out their combat training in their Starfleet uniforms without ever being made to change into any ridiculous workout gear.

In fact, I'd argue Jim Kirk was sexualized even more than the ladies of the week on the show and I saw his naked body more than anyone else's on a fairly regular basis. He wore red yoga tights while topless in Charlie X while the women wore full length gymnastic suits that covered their entire body. If anything, it went out of its way to avoid sexualizing women practicing fitness in those scenes and instead focused on Kirk.

Gene confessed that he asked to have Shatner filmed in suggestive/provocative ways to "give something to the ladies", so he -- as he said -- liked to "film him walking away" or have him conveniently busting out of his shirts in just about every episode as it were, because Shatner apparently had great assets. LOL

Gene made an effort to at least sexualize both if he was going to sexualize one, and he carried that attitude forward in wanting the m/m and f/f scenes in the background on Risa for TNG. He also insisted that the men and women wear skimpy outfits on THAT TNG planet. You know the one. LOL I mean the dudes even had on less than the women:

Gene also gave permission to K/S shippers to have their conventions back in the 70s when he was asked for permission. Gene and Nimoy felt with all the skimpy outfits they had the ladies wear, why not let the ladies and gay men have their fun, too? It's how we ended up with moments like this:

Yes, those are two people dressed up as Kirk and Spock's penises doing interpretive dance. Gene didn't give two damns. LOL

In my eyes, that was a very progressive take on Gene's part for the 60s. It was actually PARAMOUNT STUDIOS who had the big problem with K/S stories and vehemently tried to shut them down. Gene literally hired slash authors on his payroll and even had several slash stories/writers published in his official Star Trek books (The New Voyages & The New Voyages II).

I feel I saw Uhura and women in TOS engaged in more physical combat/altercations defending themselves that Troi or Bev were shown holding their own.

In fact, Kirk used to get furious when someone would "dress up" his female crew members without their consent (Trelane episode, Shore Leave episode) because like his male crew members, he wanted them to be treated professionally and to also have his male crew act professionally.

Berman brought some of his own personal biases into Star Trek that in some ways regressed it. While TOS had blatant sexism and was called on it time and again, that show was made in the 60s -- a solid 21 years before TNG. We as a modern audience understood why some of it was cringe/sexist due to the time period -- look at any other media coming out in the 60s and Star Trek was miles ahead of what other shows were doing.

Compare that to Berman who was churning sexist stuff out when women like Starbuck and Scully were simultaneously on screen on other programs airing, and we had already had Sigourney Weaver and other strong women in Holywood playing respectful roles.

In my eyes, there was no need of the sexism seen in TNG but especially VOY and ENT. There was no excuse for it when other shows were writing women far better and a number of those weren't even set in the future like Trek was, making it age even faster due to having those dated perspectives frequently highlighted.

In the Center Seat documentary as well as "The Fifty Year Mission" book you will find cast members, writers and other studio alumni who attest to this. Some discussions from "The Fifty Year Mission":

"First, Berman was supposed to have been a real sleaze ball . . . According to Terry Farrel, he would go on constantly about how her breasts weren't big enough, how she should do something about it, and how his secretary was a good example to follow as she had huge breasts. She even had to have fittings to get larger bras, and that was all done at his behest.

Later Berman and Braga developed a name for Jeri Ryan's character prior Seven of Nine. They originally called the character "perineum" which if you look it up it is the area between the anus and the scrotum. Later they floated the name "6 of 9". I mean, what does it tell you about where these two were coming from in the development of this character if they had names like that put forward in all seriousness for her?"

Gene Roddenberry also had some of his own more progressive ideas for TNG cut or watered down by Berman. Roddenberry agreed TNG should have homosexual relationships and representation at a con in the 80s and insisted on it in a meeting with his writers -- something Berman later would not honor. Gene wanted the AIDS episode, showing m/m and f/f in the Riza scenes -- these were some of Roddenberry's requests to include in TNG that Berman later stonewalled.

Berman's era was sadly dated by his own misogynist bias, IMO, to the point that it can somewhat hurt the shows he worked on through his cringe egoism and blatant disrespect toward his female cast.

There is a reason why Gene could keep female actresses working with him and Berman had a revolving door of women that he couldn't seem to keep working for him -- he was abhorrent to women, on and off set. Gene wasn't perfect at all, he had a lot of issues himself -- but Berman was a whole other level. Just look at what he did to poor Jolene Blalock, Marina Sirtis and his toxic commenting on her body weight which exacerbated her struggles with eating disorders, or how he treated and talked to Terry Farrell.

Anyway, just some food for thought. I'm not saying anyone is wrong regarding a take like that, but there are a variety of ways to look at this. Gene Roddenberry isn't a saint by any means, but it definitely bothers me how folks will tote the Berman era as if it were the lesser of two evils or the more progressive depiction of women when I felt there were far more concerning portrayals of women in his era with far less justification.

(P.S: I don't event want to go near the sheer amount of "creepy old dude/villain preys on innocent/naïve/scared young woman or little girl" stories there were in Berman's era, either. But that's a whole other can of worms I can write about in a part 2.)

[rqbossman]

well here’s another question that you probably get a lot and once more again (sorry)

Is there any possibility of graphic novel versions of TMA/TMP? I am seeing all the beautiful art from monte cook/tangled in the web and it is making me crave comic versions in a way I never have before.

thanks!

Working on it. Good example actually. In principal graphic novels should be an obvious move but often when you make an agreement involving rights with a third party they can have conditions like "we'll make X but you can't make Y until we're finished." It just so happens that everyone has strong opinions on graphic novels meaning they are often a "frozen" right, same for books. This basically is an agreement that no-one will make one until everyone with a stake unanimously agrees. Rest assured that when we can do this without issue (pun intended) I intend to push for it.

[self-made-purgatories]

The Betrayal of Irritation: Part 1 of my thoughts on Star Trek TMP. The "Spirk divorce arc" in Star Trek TMP is not new, or unexpected, or a surprise. It starts in TOS, with Requiem for Methuselah. A theory. Long post again!

I just finished watching the Original Series, followed by The Motion Picture, and holy fuck the two are SO interconnected. But the timing makes it really confusing.

There was about a ten-year-gap in real life between the end of TOS and the start of TMP. And yet, the wounds of failed Spirk appear to still be completely unhealed at the start of the movie. 

The movie itself denotes at least a two-and-a-half year gap since Kirk was last aboard the Enterprise. (Kirk tells Scotty, "two and a half years as Chief of Starfleet Operations may have made me stale, but I wouldn't exactly consider myself untried." Decker reiterates this time period by saying Kirk hasn't logged a single star hour in two and a half years.) It could have been more time since Kirk and Spock last saw each other, but it's unclear.

There is a lot of discussion akin to "Why are the characters acting so weird in Season 3?" as well as "What the hell happened between the series and the movie that made Spock run off to kolinahr like that?" I actually think that there is no missing information; rather, these two questions are connected. In fact, both questions have the same answer. Here is my theory: 

1

In my opinion, Season One of TOS doesn't start at the very beginning of the five-year mission.

Season One does not start with everyone boarding the ship for the first time and meeting their roommates. The relationships between the characters are already far too well developed to be brand new. Think of the fact that by episode 2 (Charlie X) Kirk is already saying, "I need him" of Spock.

By episode 4 (The Naked Time) Spock is offering to Kirk a thinly veiled confession of love tainted by repression and internalized homophobia ("Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed"), during which they slap each other repeatedly (keeping in mind that physical fighting is a stand-in for sexual intimacy in this show. My personal theory is that their serious relationship starts around Amok Time, but there is definitely something already happening there).

By episode 7 (What Are Little Girls Made Of?), Spock trusts and knows Kirk intimately enough to identify a well-disguised Kirk imposter in just two key words ("half-breed interference"); two hurtful words that he not only understands as not Kirk, but actually somehow a secret message from the real Kirk.

These are not newly acquainted coworkers. I posit that the three years of TOS are not an exact one-to-one correlation to the first three years of the five year mission. My theory is that the two years that are missing are actually towards the beginning, not at the end.

(Disclaimer: I have not yet seen TAS, which, from what I understand, is meant to fill the gap of the last two years of the mission, but since it is considered "questionable canon" I will disregard it for now, for the sake of argument.)

2

I have written extensively about how, in season 3, Kirk and Spock suffer irreparable damage to their serious relationship in Requiem for Methuselah, and then continue to fight about it for several episodes. Then Spock lives an allegorical journey to hell and back in All Our Yesterdays, showing the extensive inner turmoil that he is still going through. By Turnabout Intruder, the last episode of the series, the two have broken up and it's affecting their interactions.

So my theory is this: the end of TOS is actually quite close to the end of the five-year mission, the Requiem for Methuselah wounds are still fresh in Spock's mind, the All Our Yesterdays turmoil is still very real, and Kirk and Spock have quite recently gone through a very painful breakup.

(Even if I'm wrong about this part. You can imagine two more years of that painful Turnabout-Intruder-level intimacy, where they undeniably know each other like the other half of themselves, and yet there is no joy in that connection and no way to bridge the rift between them. It would be enough to make anyone want to run away.)

Doesn't it just make sense that after the season 3 spirk fight arc, Spock would be ready to put some distance between himself and Kirk?

3

Can we also talk about what Spock was doing on the five-year mission in the first place? A half-Vulcan, raised on Vulcan, who feels he has something to prove as a Vulcan, and is trying desperately to repress his human side, elects to spend five full years in the unceasing and exclusive company of humans. Why? 

What if Spock felt unfulfilled in that life as a Vulcan? What if he wanted to try out his human side? What if Spock meant for the five-year-mission to be a sort of rumspringa from Vulcan mores, during which he could try out this other world like a piece of clothing, to see how it fit?  

But in the end, those five years of connection, of love, and then loss, only led to heartache and overwhelm. But, while Spock never confesses to heartache and overwhelm, what he does confess to? Irritation. 

Think back to the start of the series. In Where No Man Has Gone Before, when Spock is trying so hard to repress his human half that he still refers to his mixed parentage as "one of my ancestors married a human female," Kirk tells him that he plays a very irritating game of chess. Spock coyly answers, "Irritating? Ah, yes. One of your Earth emotions."

And then, in Space Seed, we have this exchange, where Kirk is being so absolutely gentle and patient and loving with Spock that it makes me want to cry:

Both of these "Irritation? Never met her" exchanges are in Season 1. 

But look how much things have changed by season 3: This is what he has learned in his time among humans.

From Day of the Dove: 

Irritation is, actually, the perfect emotion for Spock to finally allow himself to express. It has almost a medical bent to it, as in the sort of irritant that causes a skin reaction. He's been expressing irritation all along with that telltale eyebrow, of course, but allowing himself to say the word out loud is a big step. 

Then, upon being called "you pointed-eared Vulcan" by Bones in All Our Yesterdays:

His descent into the allegorical hell and the barbarism of his ancestors brings out this outburst of emotion against Bones, the only other bright spot (besides Jim) in this human world. It is a step beyond irritation, to "I don't like that. I don't think I ever did, and now I'm sure." But it shows that this particular irritation has been brewing for a long time, repressed under layers of Vulcan control.

And finally, this, from Plato's Stepchildren. Not irritation, but relevant:

Ouch. 

Spock always felt out of place in his Vulcan world. And he feels even more out of place in the very human world of the Enterprise. But Kirk is the one thing that makes that life worthwhile. The one safe harbor, the only safe person in the whole world of both humans and Vulcans. Spock is never at home anywhere, but he is at home with Kirk. But then it turns out that the safe harbor is perhaps the most dangerous place of all. He risks everything to allow himself to love, but then he has his heart completely broken by Kirk. This human world was already perhaps not a great fit to begin with, but now it's painfully, excruciatingly obvious that he is not at home here either. 

Remember, also, what one of the spectators said of Spock during his emotional torture in Plato's Stepchildren: "Cupid's arrow kills Vulcans." WHAT.

4

So of course Spock's response to this failed five-year experiment is to say, "Okay, this did not work out. I tried it on, but this living-with-humans garment did not fit me. Fuck this shit, this being-around-emotional-humans shit, this pain-from-other-people's-emotions shit, and FUCK THIS ONE MAN'S BULLSHIT IN PARTICULAR, I am now off to join the Vulcan priesthood. Not only must my life's answer be on Vulcan, it is the most Vulcan version of Vulcan I can think of. I will give up all of my connections, all of my emotions, everything that makes me me so that I can finally become the ultimate Vulcan. Maybe if I get rid of my emotions altogether, it will also get rid of this pain."

And that is how he ends up here at the start of the movie.

But of course. It doesn't work.

He is running away from life, away from love, away from Kirk, rather than running towards enlightenment.

It was never going to work. 

And when he suddenly senses that Kirk needs him, his instinctual reaction is to refuse to complete the kolinahr. He is not rejected from it (at least that's not how it starts), as so many people say. He rejects it himself by raising his hand to stop the priestess. She simply agrees with him that he has work to do elsewhere.

What does he feel, though? It is hard to say. It looks more like confusion or disappointment than love or longing. But might it even be... Irritation?

5

"Okay, fine," he says to himself. "If I must, I must. I will go and save that man's sorry ass one more time. I will go get a nice haircut. I will go put on my makeup and an ABSOLUTE BANGER of a little black revenge dress. I will glide onto that bridge like I own the fucking place. I will make that man cum in his pants as soon as he sees me. And I will not even deign look at him." And so he does.

Irritation does seem to be his main outward emotional state when he makes his first appearance back on the Enterprise. He is trying so hard to project himself as an emotionless brick wall, but he is actually radiating irritation in every direction. He greets Chekov with thinly veiled irritation, doesn't even let him finish his sentence:

And then he does what he came to do; he glides onto the bridge like he owns the fucking place. He looks so damn good and Kirk notices, his whole body snapping to attention. Spock looks all around the bridge, but not at Kirk standing right in front of him.

But, of course, he can't not look at him. He makes it a full eight seconds before he finally lowers his gaze and stares straight into Kirk's very soul without saying a single word out loud.

He then busies himself around the science station, taking charge, getting to work, ignoring the pleasantries erupting from all the old friends and colleagues around him. Irritation, irritation, irritation. He cuts all the discussion short and plunges headlong into the science, completely ignoring the way that Kirk is practically on his knees in front of him. But he sees. Of course he sees.

And yet, this outward irritation is simply a betrayal of his inner feelings: the fact that he cares. If he didn't care, he wouldn't be irritated. If he didn't care, he wouldn't have come at all.

But now that he is here, now that he is back, anything is possible.

[magnusunpopularopinions]

There’s still time to vote! And while you’re at it, let me know what kind of poll you would like to do next?

(I was thinking of doing which episodes, which characters, which fears, which avatars, etc. Let me know!)

Thanks, and remember to keep your words kind!

-E

Hey everyone!

Let’s do a poll! I’ll make it simple this time around and if you’d like to see more, let me know!

Vote, and if you’re feeling generous, tell us what you picked and why in the replies or reblogs!

Thanks for sharing, and remember to keep your words kind!

-E

[darkbitchithic]

calling it now there is Something fucked up about that painting gerry gave celia! I don't trust it