#tired soldiers

[dwuerch-blog]

Being a Self-Leader

You’d think after all these years I’ve had on Planet Earth; I would have more leadership sense. But, oops, I did it again – I still need more instructions. Once again, I need a refresher course on being a good leader FOR MYSELF! We may think we are a good leader for others, but, numero uno – we had better be a good leader to ourselves first. Here’s an example: Someone tells a lie about us. As a…

[mispelled]

Didn't feel like cleaning this up but I still think it's funny

[himbionn]

Welcome back to himbionn draws Clint consecutively because of their partner 🫡

Anyways uhhhh interpretation is up to you here 🧍‍♂️

[paracosmicka]

okay idea

like does this make sense

idk my brain was bored even tho i wanted to keep drawing my sonadow fankids this weekend but i don’t think that’s gonna happen

ok but fr tho my mindset changes from “pure fluff sonadow so cute soft” to “i need to make a doohickey right now” like phases of the moon it’s fucking crazy and i don’t like it actually

[cartoonguy08]

Just a thought

I hc Soldier as a good dad figure even before he had kids (that man’s an awesome dad I just know it). I’m gonna go insane.

[h00tzz]

caption goes here

[kittyscabin]

LET'S GET MISCHIEVOUS (AND POLYAMOROUS!)

shortly before

[unpersoniverse]

Skén:nen sá:sewh

as promised, here's Precious boy™ getting kissed by Precious wife™ because he deserves all the love in the world :cc

translation: Get home safe

[mitternacht]

Hi I spend way too much time thinking about Fuuta Kajiyama and really wanted an excuse to throw out a full breakdown of his character and why I think he’s so well written.

The long and short of it is that Fuuta’s character was built to represent social isolation and the effects it has on the psyche. And the direction his character has taken in T3 was always going to be the natural progression of his character, especially based on his T1 verdict and the consequences of that, it did not come out of nowhere and is not a questionable writing decision.

(The rest under the cut for really long winded meta and dissection of Fuuta’s character and how we got here)

To start, I want to talk about Fuuta’s life before Milgram.

He’s a 20 year old university student, with no strong ties to family and no real group of friends or social circle to speak of. Already, he’s very isolated and has shown that he’s quite directionless. He doesn’t have any dreams or aspirations, because he thinks things like that are “childish” and “worthless”. He’s also never felt a real sense of protection or authority from the adult figures in his life, based on the way he talks about his parents. I’m inclined to believe they weren’t really present while he was growing up as well based on what we know of them, which caused further isolation and left him devoid of a sense of purpose. (Getting slightly ahead of myself here, but guess which type of people are most susceptible to falling into cults?)

So, what does he have to cling to? What does he have to keep him going? We all have a deep innate need for human connection and community, so where can he get that?

Online, of course.

So, he turns to the internet. He finds a community of people who enjoy the same things he does that he can connect with, and this serves as a lifeline for him. Now, he’s also been shown to have a strong sense of justice, which is perhaps one of the only other defining characteristics he can claim for himself and one of the only things he believes in. He feels a sense of empowerment and pride when he’s “carrying out justice” in his eyes, and it gives him a sense of purpose and duty that he’s lacking elsewhere in his life. It also brings him validation from his community, who further enable him and fan the flames, so to speak. He’s part of a group, he’s part of something for the first time in his life, and he has no way of stopping at this point. And then, it goes too far.

(I don’t feel like I should need to say this, but for the sake of posterity, yes, what Fuuta did was very, very bad and should never be condoned or excused. But again, it’s a very real problem and is caused by social isolation which is very common in today’s world and is worth having a discussion about. Fuuta’s character is an excellent showcase of how easily this can lead people to do terrible things by turning to online validation and praise for their sole source of connection with others.)

Now Fuuta is a person that doesn’t know how to deal with heavy negative emotions. He’s not very mentally strong, and being so isolated for most of his life with no real sense of purpose has left him with not a lot of ways to properly process or cope. When we first meet him in Milgram, he’s leaning very heavily on denial. He’s convinced himself that he did nothing wrong, and can’t even entertain the thought that his actions had killed someone. He’s also the type of person that can’t stand showing any signs of weakness. He acts big, and angry, and tough, because that’s the easiest way to deflect from any other “weak” emotions he may be feeling.

But, the side effect of this inability to process his negative emotions and acting out like this, is that he can’t make any real connections with the other prisoners in Milgram. (I’m not counting minigram as canon in this breakdown as an fyi, I’m basing this solely on interactions from timelines and voice dramas)

He’s lost the only community he had, completely cut off from it, and is experiencing the social isolation that drove him to this in the first place all over again. He sees the older prisoners as unreliable and not anyone he can lean on in this situation, and at this point doesn’t seem to have any particular feelings about the other prisoners. He mentions looking out for Haruka in particular, but (as much as it pains me to say this since I do love the 0103 dynamic) it’s unlikely that this was a significant enough connection to keep him from feeling socially isolated in Milgram. He states that he’s not looking to make friends with the other prisoners, but that was likely just big talk and hiding the fact that he couldn’t make that connection with anyone.

With all of these negative emotions he can’t process or cope with, the fear and uncertainty of his environment, the loss of community he once had, and without anybody or anything to rely on for guidance or protection, it’s already a recipe for a shattered mental state.

Now let’s throw a guilty verdict, some horrible physical trauma, voices that you can’t escape, heavy sleep deprivation and paranoid hypervigilance into the mix!

(I also want to point out… Fuuta’s second voice drama is titled “Baptism of Fire”. Yes, it’s a turn of phrase involving fire because that’s Fuuta’s motif, but knowing what we do now this was completely intentional foreshadowing)

The attack Fuuta sustained from Kotoko would be traumatic for anyone, and I feel that the effect this attack had on him is frequently dismissed because he wasn’t on the brink of death like Mahiru was. In Shidou’s T2 voice drama, he lists Fuuta’s injuries as: an orbital floor fracture, traumatic retinal detachment, bruising, lacerations, and a partial fracture of the thorax. This is going to cause some very severe chronic pain for him, particularly in his head and chest, especially considering they don’t have access to proper treatment and from what Fuuta has said they likely don’t have access to any sort of painkillers either. Even the act of just breathing is going to exacerbate his pain, and there’s just nothing that can be done for it. Speaking as someone with chronic pain myself, it definitely has a severe impact on your mental state and ability to do quite literally anything.

Regarding the “voices and eyes” of the audience, Fuuta has always been a special case, because out of the characters that have mentioned the voices in particular he has been the most severely and negatively affected by them. He states that he can’t sleep because he feels that he’s being watched, and he’s mentioned several times how badly the voices affect him and how badly he wants them to stop. And this sleep deprivation just aggravates quite literally everything else that he’s currently dealing with, physically and mentally, making everything worse by tenfold.

The fact that he even admits to being scared and shows weakness to Es, considering the fact that he has an innate need to hide any sort of weakness, should be very telling. We are also told so many times during T2 that Fuuta is at his breaking point and is a complete mess.

Although it’s not directly stated in canon, Fuuta very heavily showcases symptoms of psychosis that have seemed to become progressively worse through and after T2. (I made a post about this not too long ago, trying not to repeat too much here but I broke this down a little more in that other post)

And what’s a common symptom of psychosis? Religious delusion.

To start with, Fuuta's character even before entering Milgram is a prime example of someone who is extremely susceptible to falling in with a cult. Someone who is socially isolated, craves human connection and belonging, and who is searching for a sense of purpose/duty. You add onto that his murder and the need for someone to forgive him for it, the desperation for something to cling to, the worsening symptoms of psychosis and need for something to cure his pain? How in the world was he supposed to do anything but turn to religious delusion? If he hadn’t, it’s very likely the only other possible option he saw for himself was to end his life, which he mentions doing in Backdraft (and passively in his T2 voice drama).

There was a glimmer of hope when Fuuta mentions that he was grateful to Kazui and Shidou in the aftermath of Kotoko attacking him and what they did to help him, but it’s likely that he saw himself not able to continue relying on them considering Shidou had been so busy with Mahiru and Kazui may not have continued to be as present as Fuuta would have preferred. Which is heartbreaking, considering Fuuta seems to so desperately need an authority/protective adult figure to look up to. Mind you, 20 is not that old and especially if he never had that growing up, it’s natural to still want that at this age.

I would like to reiterate again that Amane did not “brainwash” nor “indoctrinate” Fuuta, she just ended up being the outlet for the only thing Fuuta has become convinced will save him. And now they’re stuck in a very sad cycle of enabling each other through their trauma.

All in all, looking at the pieces of Fuuta’s character I feel that this was always the plan, even from the beginning of T1. We were conditioned from the start to view Fuuta as guilty: by making his character theme red, by introducing him as foul mouthed, angry, arrogant, and unapologetic, and even from Jackalope’s comments in Es’ voice drama. We were conditioned to dislike him from the start, and since that guilty verdict in T1 was made Fuuta’s fate was sealed and this was always going to be the natural progression of his character. It was a slow build up, but was very well thought out and didn’t come out of nowhere.

This is the fulfillment of what happens when you put a socially isolated person through extreme stress and trauma with nothing to hold on to, and again is an excellent showcase of what it can look like to fall in with a cult even with no religious background. And how it’s even easier with individuals who have pre-existing mental illnesses/disorders.

We’ve come full circle and I’m very interested to see where his character goes from here.

[deadsadmilk]

me, waiting to full moon/halloween

for magic unicorn friendship power

[fawntastic]

For the sketchpage: the Awful Teens (Affectionate) learning Gideon can talk?

Gideon voice. Hey so I uh. I spoke in front of these teenagers and they said i was so sigma. Did they call me a fucking slur

[silvergreenseraphim]

“Fill your hollow heart with rage…and with that rage, burn the sadness away. Become the man I was that day…”

—Sephiroth to Cloud, FFVII Rebirth Chapter 13, Japanese Translation.

[jevilowo]

Its been awhile I'm doing another one of These Things

What TV Shows the Mercs would watch

Scout: Baseball. Obviously. He loudly complains about the cartoons Pyro puts on, but never makes a grab for the remote or leaves the room.

Soldier: He's half convinced that the TV uses Communist Technology™ to hypnotise people into becoming hippies and attempts to blow it up every couple of days. He conveniently forgets his beliefs during the superbowl (first aired in 67, he could totally watch it!).

Pyro: Cartoons. Dramatic movies. Anything with fire in it. Horror movies (they giggle and clap gleefully every time someone dies brutally). Has a love-hate relationship with movie musicals.

Demo: Fan of mystery shows, courtroom dramas, and shitty B-Movies. Especially enjoys the (explosive) special effects. It's sad that Highlander and Braveheart weren't sixties movies, considering how many of Demo's weapons, achievements, voicelines and etc reference them.

Heavy: Old lady tv. Cooking shows. Gardening programmes. Watches tv mostly to fall asleep in front of. Has that dad instinct where he can tell if you've changed the channel despite being asleep.

Engie: Documentaries about new technology, mostly. I can see him being the kind of guy who's really into those technicolour musical films. Would probably cry at the end of Wizard of Oz.

Medic: Horror movies! Watches them with Pyro and Demo mostly and complains about the gorey stuff not being medically accurate. Would get overly invested in stupid sitcoms and hate it.

Sniper: Watches nothing but nature documentaries. If the channel is changed he will simply leave the room. What the fuck ever. I like to think he has a large collection of tapes and a vhs player in his van. Falls asleep every movie night without fail.

Spy: Thinks television is mostly beneath him, but doesn't hate movies. Enjoys watching spy movies and mansplaining how he would have done it to anyone who'll listen.

[xi-xi-chen]

Lightcannon Week // Day 03 - Dystopian

Bringing back Halo! I had so much fun drawing an old design I made for them. Spartan Lux and Soldier Jinx, although she eventually joins the ODST unit.

But ever since the Spartans were released to the front, Jinx can't help but notice as Lux seems to be assigned to her platoon everytime they deploy. Eventually Jinx realizes a terrible truth about how Spartans were made, especially about the rumor of clones being involved. Jinx would not only find herself fighting war but thrown into an investigation about missing children.

On the other hand, Lux has been at death's doorstep several times over but Jinx refuses to let her die, even after she told Jinx that her purpose is to fight for humanity, she's just a weapon afterall, nothing else.

_____________________

Some notes : (disclaim//this isn't at all from expertise, I'm still in training)

CO - Company Commander <- this is usually a captain's position, (or Lieutenant [Officer]) that controls two platoons, in turn, platoons have four squads, squads with fire teams, breaking it down more, each squad is two Attack by fire or assaulting elements (ABF), one support by fire (SBF) and a weapons squad (WPN) (this is the most mass casualty producing team, they are very essential to the operations.)

AO - Area of Operations <- this is not completely accurate for this scenario, however may be still categorized as Area of Op since this mission is classified as a Raid turned Defense in order to eliminate the enemy forces and cut off some of their supply chain within the objective.

Radio Dia - "Monkey Tree niner-- (3-9) Platoon Lead will first address the Squad Lead by their assigned nics and then repeat their own after brief of OPORD. Usually, we give radios only to the main chain of command within our platoon, which is our leadership. Does not contain team leads either. However, I can't remember if all the soldiers in Halo were hooked up on the same frequency of comms. Oh, well. But the pain I felt while rewatching Halo legends...NEVER say "over and out." Blegh! It's just "Out!"

++ OPORD - Operations Order <- basically the plan about the shit that's about to go down. It's pages upon pages of planning people, not fun, but very important. We have two more Orders as well, yay, more paperwork...

[corantus]

joan posting.. unfinished but whatever 🖤🖤

[ruthytwoshakes]