#scoutma tf2

[h00tzz]

caption goes here

[enkamanaenka]

Just a little traditional sketch with this two lovebirds...

And this sketch went into a collage...

My collages are not so aesthetic, but I try my best...

Wonderful stickers with Spy from @currrsy!!!

[cooltf2facts]

Spy’s most recent purchases:

- Expensive fashion doll kept in a glass box

- Holographic plastic pen (a gift for Engineer)

- Pig mask

- Gold skull and crossbones charm

- A gem-encrusted necklace and earrings (a gift for Scout’s ma)

- Satin boxers

- Glittering silver shoes

[dopscratch]

introducing: the Scoutbros

i'm feeling creative, so i'm gonna introduce you all to my headcanons for scout's family, including the basically-ocs that i've designated as his brothers! you're welcome to use them anywhere if you happen to actually like them, with a couple rules

credit me please this is the one scrap of originality i have

if you make any tweaks, headcanons or changes, please do not parade them as fact!

SHOW ME, LINK IT TO ME, GIVE ME WHATEVER CONTENT YOU MAY MAKE WITH THEM I LOVE THE SCOUTBROS

obviously these rules only apply to the oc-ones and not the canon characters (except rule 3, give me your tf2 content...)

all images are from that one scene in my Runs in the Family animatic you know the one- and represent fairly young versions of all of them! i think i designed scout to be like 10 there.

anyway, without further ado, my headcanons/ocs:

Starting with Scout's mother, I've headcanoned she really likes J names. Her name is Jolene and Spy's name, whatever it is, probably starts with a J too. Most of her kids come from different fathers, hence their varied appearances. Also her last name is Fitzgerald for the memes. That's pretty much all I have here

Scout himself also remains pretty much unchanged. His childhood nickname was Germ because Jeremy and also he's a little pathogen the kid is obnoxious :)

Josh is 1 year older than Scout and is the resident daredevil. He’s a thrill seeker and holds the record for the most broken bones in the family, both at once and total. Scout may have broken this record during his time as a merc, but since he’s not really supposed to talk about it (and it’d be nearly impossible to keep track of on the battlefield with Medic healing) Josh remains on top. He has darker/deeper brown eyes and hair.

Jay is 2 years older than Scout and a hyper tech nerd who finds it difficult to focus on most things for more than one minute. He loves pranks, often pulling them on his brothers and anyone unlucky enough to be close by. He’s 100% a memelord (Saxton invented the internet early it could happen!!). He’s a blue-eyed redhead.

Jason is 5 years older than Scout. He’s twins with Jake (coming next!). He’s also a criminal. To be fair, he’s not really more of a criminal than his other brothers, he just continued being a bit of a menace into adulthood and is terrible at covering his tracks, resulting in him landing in jail more often than not. If someone in the family is going to get caught for a crime, it’ll most likely be him. He also occasionally takes the fall for his other brothers, be it voluntarily or not. He’s absolutely awful at planning but can often think on his feet well enough in a crisis. He has paler brown eyes and black hair.

Jake is Jason’s twin (so also 5 years older than Scout). He’s a nicer guy, polite, but an adept fighter. He tends to keep a cool head and can get out of a lot of bad situations, the opposite of his twin (he is the younger twin which he used to be a little self-conscious about). He’s also Bidwell. He legally changed his name because the scoutfam is a little notorious what with the many many troublemakers that come from it. I think this is the perfect origin story for him because there’s no way Saxton Hale would hire an assistant without assessing their combat ability.

Jessie is Jack’s (coming next!) right-hand man, 7 years older than Scout. Scoutmom Jolene forgot the masculine way to spell it was ‘Jesse’ so now this tall, buff, intimidating man has to live with a name that many would point and laugh and call a girl’s name (not that ‘Jesse’ would be any better in the spoken word). Though it was a bit of an embarrassment in early childhood, mostly going by his initials, he’s moved past it, growing confident and comfortable with his name. He’s generally stoic and hard to rattle, though he has a more chaotic side and likes helping out with Jay’s pranks. Though he’s slower to anger, he holds a long, lifetime grudge. He has darker brown eyes and black hair.

Jack is 9 years older than Scout and the ruthless leader type. He specializes in organized crime, but in a kind of wholesome way. He’s very protective of anything he’s deemed his territory and will keep his little circle safe. Family comes before anything for him (absent fathers don’t count in his books). He targets overeager gangs, corrupt officials, big businesses challenging smaller local ones, and other threats to his community in various less-than-legal ways. He has blue eyes and black hair.

James is the oldest son, 12 years older than Scout. He filled in as a sort of father figure to the family as it grew and was the leader of the scoutbros’ chaotic outings until adulthood, when he eventually decided to pursue a stable, normal job. Still, he sticks around and occasionally accompanies the group for old time’s sake. He’s generally the most responsible, followed by Jake and Jessie. He has brown eyes and a light brownish hair, a similar shade to Scout’s.

and that’s all of em! hope you enjoyed this wild ride through my brain. i think the tag is free so #scoutbros will from now on be referring to my particular band of silly dudes unless anyone has any objections!

also, feel free to ask me any questions!

[neo-my-geo]

if Redmond and Blutarch are the summer and winter gods, whats up with Gray Mann????? is he a god like them?? does he have any ties to them two gods???? is he not a god but a normal not normal guy here??? is Olivia here too??? are they inexistent in this universe??? is Bidwell one of Saxton's common adventure partners???? , krampus, and what does Scout's Ma look like??

Scoutma <3

Other answers below the cut!

Gray Mann is a mortal artificer in this universe, and Olivia's his adopted daughter/apprentice! The guild doesn't quite know his connection to the seasonal gods, though he's mentioned them in passing before. He's been quietly working on... something... for a while now. Something that's required a lot of real estate.

Bidwell is Saxton's personal assistant; he keeps track of his itinerary for him. He fills a lot of the same roles as a guildmaster, except Saxton is the entire guild and accomplishes about the same amount of stuff as one.

[fruit-teeth]

Chronicles of Love and War (chapter 27)

“Do you ever feel like there’s…I don’t know, multiple versions of you?” Sniper asked out of the blue.

Scout paused, caught off guard by the question. After a moment, he replied, “What?”

Sniper went on, “Sometimes it’s like…I’m both the overexcited dog and the owner that’s trying to keep it on its leash. I dunno how else to explain it, really, but…yeah.”

Bronislava cast a glance towards Sniper, raising her head on her elbow as she sat in the grass. “Why you think like this?”

Sniper gave a little shrug. “Well, it’s just…really, I don’t know how I’m supposed to be feeling about…everything,”

“Oh! About your dad getting, like…stoned?” Scout asked, unable to think of a better word.

“Scout!” Spy hissed.

“What? That’s what happened!” Scout insisted.

Sniper just shook his head. “That’s not what I mean, but…that’s part of it, honestly. I feel like I'm suddenly hit with something I never expected, and...half of me wants to be excited, but part of me is terrified.”

“About your little brother?” Angelica asked, voice quiet.

Sniper paused, before confirming, “Yep.” He then squinted at Angelica. “Are you supposed to be here?”

“No, but I came anyway!” Angelica replied, and she smiled at him. “Look, I’m sure you’re gonna be fine…I saw that little baby before we left, he’s so darn cute!”

Sniper couldn't help but smile a little at that. “Yeah…I know,”

Bronislava patted him on the shoulder, and she then glanced up to where Lar-Nah stood just a few feet away. Lar-Nah stood there in silence, her back turned to everyone as she stared out at the horizon.

Bronislava asked her after a few seconds, “What is it?”

Lar-Nah turned around, as if yanked out of a trance. “Are you talking to me?”

When Bronislava nodded, Lar-Nah just shook her head. “Nothing, I’m just looking for the wizard.”

“Merasmus will be here soon,” Spy assured. “He and Helen had to get Olivia and Lucy to a safe place.”

Just as Spy spoke, Merasmus suddenly appeared from behind the bushes, staff in hand. He paused before the group, observing them for a moment.

“There’s not very many of you…” he remarked. “Where is everyone?”

“Defending the base,” Spy explained. “You’ll be happy to know that Soldier is back at the base with the others.”

Merasmus grunted. “I see…well, let’s go on our way, then,” she suddenly paused, noticing Angelica. “What is she doing here?”

“I’m tagging along!” Angelica explained, bending down to pick up her tote bag.

“I don’t think that’s—“ Merasmus started to say, but Spy cut him off.

“We already had this conversation,” Spy clarified. “She’s going with us. Is that all right?”

Merasmus looked like she wanted to argue, but sighed in defeat. “Well…all right then. Just stay out of trouble!” He then reached into his pocket, pulling out a handkerchief.

“What is that?” Sniper asked, stepping close to try and get a look at the cloth.

“It’s a sample of Bea’s blood, I collected it from Helen’s driveway,” Merasmus explained. “I’m going to use it so we can track her location, it will make things much easier.”

Pyro stayed beside Merasmus, watching with bated breath as odd, light orbs rose from the blood stain. The orbs drifted up from the handkerchief, spreading out to form a path of light that led up through the scant grass and desert.

Merasmus stepped forward, taking the first step on the path. “This way!”

Together, the group of eight followed the path on foot. It took some walking at first, but after some back and forth, they convinced Merasmus to teleport them to the end of the light's path.

Dropping to the ground, Scout grunted, “Ugh! Why’s my head spinning so much?”

“I warned you that would happen!” Merasmus sighed. “Magic teleportation can have that effect on you weak little mortals…”

“Well, we’re here, now…” Angelica trailed off, looking around. “Where the heck are we?”

Before them sat a large building, illuminated by lights. Spy squinted, taking a few steps forward and seeing a sign out front. “Kindred Soul Medical Clinic…” he read out loud, realization sweeping over him.

“What is it?” Sniper asked. “What is this place?”

“This is the same medical clinic where Fred was being held,” Spy looked around quickly. “But…why would Bea come here?”

“Maybe someone brought her here,” Bronislava suggested, trying to be helpful.

Merasmus considered the prospect, before shrugging. “Well…its no use standing out here like this, we should go in.”

“Have you lost your mind?” Spy turned around, making a face. “This is a hospital! They probably have a security force and the local police on speed-dial…we need to plot this out carefully.”

Merasmus scoffed. “Oh, please! I’ve gotten into hospitals plenty of times, without any planning! Let’s just pretend that one of us is deathly ill…” she scanned the group for a moment, before extending a finger in Lar-Nah’s direction. “You! Pretend you have a fatal bladder infection!”

“No!” Lar-Nah exclaimed, insulted.

“Let me do it!” Scout waved his hand around. “I can do a killer ‘guy dying from getting stabbed’ impression!”

Angelica gasped and pulled Jeremy close to her. “No! Honey, no…”

Pyro suddenly nudged Spy, mumbling something and gesturing towards the building. Spy looked to where Pyro was pointing, his eyes landing on a parking garage attached to the hospital.

“Actually,” Spy piped up, getting everyone’s attention. “Let’s just sneak in through that parking garage. That’ll likely be much easier,” he looked at Pyro, giving them a grateful nod. “Thank you, Pyro.”

Pyro just gave a thumbs up as they followed the rest of the group towards the parking garage, making their way inside.

At the same time, Olivia watched the clouds and scenery pass by through the car window. Beside her, Lucy sat in silence, her hands turning over a small toy rubber duck, which she had brought with her to their play date.

This day had derailed in a way Olivia had not even thought possible. Not only did everything get interrupted by one of her late father’s employees breaking into her home, but she’d seen Lucy break a grown man’s arm. Lucy had a power she could not explain, that much was certain, and Olivia did not know what else to do except fear it. She loved her friend — but she did not know what could be lurking beneath her sweet, gentle surface.

The car slowed to a stop, taking Olivia out of her thoughts. She looked up, glancing around.

“Where are we?” She asked, looking at her mother in the driver’s seat.

Helen shut the car off and undid her seat belt. “This is one of Saxton Hale’s cottages. He has quite a few that he barely uses, so he’s going to let both of you stay out here for a while.”

As the girls stepped out of the car, Olivia took a moment to observe the area. It looked rather remote, with just a cottage sitting beside a still, quiet pond. The grass was tall, looking as though no one had really kept up with it for a while. The cottage itself, though, looked beautiful and comfortable.

“We’re gonna be here by ourselves?” Lucy asked, nervousness creeping into her voice.

Helen closed the driver’s side door behind her, coming to stand beside Lucy and Olivia. “Of course not, Mr. Bidwell will be looking after you. I have to go back and deal with some things for now…”

The door to the cottage swung open, and Bidwell stepped out, closing the door behind him. He walked down the steps and waved at the trio, beckoning them towards him. “Come in! Everything is ready for you,”

As Helen led the girls to the house, she took a moment to stop Bidwell on the way in.

“Whatever you do,” she spoke in a low voice so the children wouldn’t hear her. “Make sure Lucy is kept calm. It will take too long to explain why, but you must be very careful.”

Bidwell just nodded, knowing better than to press the issue. “Will do. I’m not great with children, but I’ll try my best,”

“Very good,” Helen sighed.

Olivia paused and looked around the cottage, frowning at just how gloomy the place looked on the inside. The colors were dull, aside from a bizarrely detailed painting on the living room wall that depicted Saxton Hale battling a saber-toothed tiger in the middle of a mountain range.

���Hale lives here?” Olivia asked, making a face.

“No, he doesn’t,” Bidwell explained, entering the living room behind her. “He just owns this property…I think he used to come down here, but he rarely does anymore.”

He then grabbed the remote control and used it to turn on the TV, sighing in relief when there wasn’t any static. “There we go — here, you guys can watch TV,” he passed the remote to Olivia, who hopped up on the sofa. Lucy climbed up beside her, curling up close for some comfort.

“Thank you, Bidwell,” Helen murmured, turning her attention to Olivia. She fixed her bow gently, and then kissed the top of her head. “I’ll see you later, darling…you know my number in case anything goes wrong.”

“Okay,” Olivia hummed in reply, watching as her mother took a moment to fix Lucy’s hair as well.

“Is my daddy coming back?” Lucy asked Helen, voice quivering.

“Of course he is,” Helen assured, rising up. “Everything will be all right, I promise…”

After Helen left, the girls continued to quietly watch a soap opera on the TV. Bidwell hovered around them, feeling anxious about leaving them alone but also not knowing what else to do with them. He truly had no idea what to do with children, aside from knowing that they enjoyed television.

It wasn’t long after Olivia changed the channel to a nature documentary when there was a rumbling noise in the driveway outside. Lucy tilted her head towards the window and squinted at the sound.

“What’s that?” She asked, fumbling with the edge of a beige throw pillow.

“I don’t know…probably just someone driving by,” Bidwell tried to reassure, although he knew that was odd as this place was rather remote. The noise stopped after a moment, but shortly afterwards, the door to the cottage swung wide open.

Olivia and Lucy both glanced up towards the direction of the front door, and Bidwell quickly went to investigate. “Stay right there!”

He made his way to the front foyer, but to his surprise, it was not an intruder at all: instead, Saxton Hale himself stood there.

“Saxton?” Bidwell asked, though he shook himself. “Uh— Mr. Hale, what are you doing here?”

Saxton waved him off. “Oh, no need for that! I heard from Helen that you would be here, so I figured I would drop by…” he took a moment to glance around the cottage. “My God, I need to get this place decorated better! I haven’t been here in years…”

“I thought you were on leave,” Bidwell pointed out. “That’s what I was told, anyway!”

Saxton shrugged, walking past him and into the living room. “I’m fine, I’ve caught up on the sleep, mostly!”

Olivia peeked over the edge of the couch, spotting Saxton and jumping up. “Saxton! What are you doing here?”

“Hello, Olivia! I own this place, I just wanted to stop by!” Saxton walked over and patted Olivia on the head, before noticing Lucy. “Why, hello! You must be the wizard’s daughter,”

Lucy sat up, smiling shyly. “Yeah, that’s me!”

Saxton reached out and carefully shook Lucy’s small hand in his large one. “G’day, nice to meet you! Y’know, I owe that wizard my life…I was tormented by nightmares, my head was full of some bloody curse, but he fixed me right up!”

“Oh!” Lucy nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, my daddy is great at that!”

Bidwell stood close by, watching as Saxton interacted with the children in such a gentle manner. There was something…different about him. Saxton typically wasn’t this down to earth with children, at least from what Bidwell had recalled seeing in the past.

Saxton stood up straight after a moment, glancing towards the TV. “What are you watching?”

“It’s about spiders,” Olivia explained, pointing to the documentary on the TV. “It’s kinda boring…”

Saxton scoffed. “Spiders? Actually, I might have something better right here in this cottage…”

He stepped out of the room for a moment, walking down the adjacent hallway to one of the bedrooms. He returned a moment later, carrying a stack of board games. “There they are! I knew this was where I decided to store these…”

Lucy leaned over the arm of the couch in interest as Saxton sat the board games down on the coffee table. “Wow! I’ve never seen games like this before!”

“Me neither!” Olivia agreed, sliding down from the couch to kneel beside the table and get a better look at the games.

“That’s because these are from when I was a boy,” Saxton explained. “Many of these aren’t even on the market anymore! See anything you like?”

Lucy slipped down off the couch to join Olivia, and Olivia decided, “How about this one?” She pointed to a board game titled, ‘Save The Babies!’.

“Have at it!” Saxton opened the box up and took the pieces out of it, setting them down in front of the girls. “Here’s the map, and the babies, the weapons, and the beast! You want me to read you the instructions?”

“I can do it!” Olivia insisted, quickly picking up the instruction manual and flipping through it.

“Good, I’ll leave you to it!” Saxton hummed, standing up and heading to the kitchen. “I hope the tap water here is in good shape…”

Bidwell followed after him, walking over to the fridge and pulling out a bottled water. “Here, I tasted some of the tap water and I don’t trust it.”

Saxton turned around, accepting the bottled water. “Ah, thank you! That’s considerate…”

As Saxton drank from the water bottle, Bidwell took a moment to lean against the fridge, watching him. Finally, he asked, “What’s going on?”

“Hrm?” Saxton cast him a confused took, the water bottle looking minuscule in his large hand. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…why did you really come here?” Bidwell wanted to know. “Was it just to…i don’t know, spend some time away from the office? After your whole ‘nightmare’ situation?”

Saxton looked a little sad. “Do you not want me here?”

“What? No, no!” Bidwell assured quickly. “No, it’s great you’re here, actually! But…is everything okay?”

“Hm…well…” Saxton got quiet, setting the bottle down on the counter. “I actually did want to…talk.”

“About what?” Bidwell asked, taking a step closer.

There was a slight pause as Saxton tried to find his words. Finally, he spoke: “Did…did Helen tell you what I saw in those nightmares?”

Bidwell thought for a moment. “Just that they were about death and destruction. Why?”

Saxton took a long breath. “Well…that wasn’t all I saw…I wasn’t completely truthful with her.”

Bidwell leaned forward slightly, eyebrow raised. “Oh? What else did you see?”

Saxton’s voice faltered, before he admitted, “Memories. Memories of…when I was a child. Things I hadn’t thought about in years, times when I…when I felt sad but had to pretend I didn’t feel that way,”

“Anything specific? Bidwell prompted, concern in his voice.

“Yes, actually…” Saxton closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them again, looking back at Bidwell. “Do you promise not to tell anyone?”

Bidwell gave a quick nod. “Of course.”

“All right,” Saxton cleared his throat, his voice dropping lower. “After all the destruction, all the fighting animals, after everything would calm down in each dream, I would always see the same scene: me, as a twelve year old, going on a trip with my father…”

Bidwell pulled up one of the kitchen chairs, sitting down carefully so he could listen to Saxton continue to speak.

“We went to a hotel that was a bit out of the way,” Saxton went on. “Out near a wooded area. We were there for…I don’t quite remember, some business venture my father had to do. When my father was busy, I went on a walk through the woods. It was dark, and…” he swallowed, visibly uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “That was when I saw her,”

“Saw who?” Bidwell wanted to know.

Saxton struggled to speak, before saying, “The unicorn.”

Bidwell stared up at Saxton, certain he’d misheard him. “The…the what?”

“The unicorn,” Saxton repeated. “I know it sounds crazy, but I saw her! She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen…she was friendly, her eyes were strangely human…” he looked like he was about to tear up as he recalled his encounter with the creature. “Her horn, it was magnificent…she was radiant. I told her she was radiant, and she understood me. I swear, she understood me! I pet her mane, and it felt like silk…”

Bidwell watched Saxton’s face as he described the unicorn. It truly seemed like this had been a magical memory for Saxton…however, Bidwell had a sick feeling that this story was about to take a bad turn.

Saxton pulled himself out of that part of the memory. “Anyway…I spent some time admiring her, but…I had to leave. I said goodbye to her — I swear, she said goodbye to me back! I went back to the hotel, and when my father returned, I told him about the unicorn…” his smile faded, and he looked down to his feet. “My father was very angry with me. He asked me why I let the unicorn get away, why I let her leave. I did not understand what he meant, and he told me that unicorn horns were very rare trinkets. He scolded me for not killing her and taking her horn…”

Noticing that Saxton looked visibly upset again, Bidwell pointed out, “But you’ve killed animals before, even rare ones! Why should a unicorn be any different?”

“Because…!” Saxton sucked in a breath, trying to find his words again. “Because she was different! I was different back then — I was a boy, I was a child. She saw me — she looked into my eyes, and she truly saw me. I know she did…I know it! But my father did not understand when I told him this. I went to bed that night, and so did he…or so I thought.”

There was a moment of silence again. Saxton shook his head, eyes pressed shut again. “Why did it feel bad?” He asked nobody in particular. “Why does it still feel bad? I’m an adult! Adults don’t do this! Adults don’t think about things that happened when they were just children, they don’t wish for a time when they felt safe, they don’t cry about…”

“Hey,” Bidwell stood up, taking Saxton’s hand into his. His palm was very warm. “No, no, it’s okay. I do all of those things, too. We all do,”

Saxton paused, thinking very hard for a moment. Finally, he took another deep breath and continued his story. “The next morning, my father woke me up. His hands had blood on them, and…” his body twitched, fighting back the emotion, unable to speak.

“Did he have the horn?” Bidwell prompted, still holding onto Saxton’s hand.

Saxton just nodded, and he covered his face with his free hand. “You must think I’m pathetic, getting so bloody upset about this,” he murmured, horribly embarrassed.

“No, no, hey,” Bidwell reached for his other hand, taking it in his own so he could look at Saxton’s face. “I don’t think that. I don’t think that one bit.”

Saxton had a tear rolling down his face, and he looked as though he wanted to wipe it away but he didn’t. “Really? I’ve never told anyone about this…”

Bidwell smiled at him a little. “Well, I’m really glad you told me, you know…and…I think you should know it wasn’t your fault, and that it’s okay to feel sad about it still.”

Saxton smiled back at him, though his face trembled with the effort of holding his tears back. “Thank you,” he managed to say. “I…I hadn’t thought about all this in years, but…that curse brought it all up to the surface.”

“I understand,” Bidwell assured him, still holding onto his hands.

A moment of quiet passed between them, until Saxton spoke up again. “I still have it.”

Bidwell looked back up at him. “Have what? The horn?”

Saxton nodded. “Yes. I hid it, here in this cottage. My father tried to get me to sell it, but…I could never bring myself to.”

“Maybe you could go back to that hotel,” Bidwell suggested. “To the woods that are right near it, and you could bury the horn there.”

Saxton shook his head. “No, no…that place doesn’t exist anymore. The woods were bulldozed to make the hotel larger.”

Bidwell sucked his lips into his mouth, saddened but not at all surprised to hear this. “…I see.”

Saxton pulled his hands away from Bidwell’s to roughly wipe his own eyes. “Anyway: um…thank you, for…listening to me.”

Bidwell gave him another gentle smile. “No problem. Really, I’m…glad you told me.”

However, as Saxton composed himself and went to the living room to check on the girls, Bidwell couldn’t shake the feeling that something deeper was going on. Or, at the very least, that things weren’t going to ever be the same between him and his boss.

Meanwhile, the search party had managed to sneak their way into the hospital. After slipping through the parking garage and into an elevator, Merasmus peeked out into the hallway first to check and see if the coast was clear.

“Where do you think she is?” Sniper asked, poking out behind him. “I don’t see the lights anymore…”

Merasmus squinted in thought. “I’m not sure…”

Pyro suddenly scurried forward, pointing to the floor. Sure enough, bits of light led down the adjacent hallway, where a large sign on the wall said, ‘KEEP OUT’.

“Sorry, but no,” Spy addressed the sign, looking around both ways before following the others down the hallway. As he peeked down the hallway, he remarked, “This area mostly looks abandoned…should we take a look in one of these rooms?”

Pyro walked to one of the doors and tugged the handle, only to realize it was locked. Spy dug around in his pocket for the lockpick. “Here, let me get it,”

“No, I have an unlocking spell!” Merasmus piped up. She walked over to the door and tapped her fingers against it, but nothing happened. Frowning, she tried again. “Oh, come on! Foul beast, unlock!”

Suddenly, Bronislava became aware of a sound coming from down the hallway. It sounded like sobbing, and it seemed to be coming from another room that was further away. Quickly, she got up and walked to the door, pulling the handle. Upon realizing it was unlocked, she turned to look at the others and gestured to them.

Sniper approached, being the first to look over Bronislava’s shoulder and into the room. What the two saw caused them both to pause: laying on the floor, weeping and seemingly hand-cuffed to the wall, was a woman. She was a petite, dark-haired woman, and she was wearing some sort of long tunic. There was blood on the floor next to her as well as on her back.

“Oh, my god!” Sniper managed to exclaim after a moment, the reality of the situation sinking in. Upon hearing him, the woman looked up at him and Bronislava with wild, tear-filled eyes.

“You have to help me!” She sputtered, chest heaving. “Those horrible men — they took my wings! Please, I can’t die here!”

Hearing the commotion, Merasmus rushed into the room, stopping to examine the woman. His brow furrowed when he noticed her handcuffs, his fingers tracing them.

“These are the same kind of handcuffs Cynthia gave me,” he realized. “They stop whoever is in them from using magic….”

“Please!” The woman urged him, getting his attention again.

Merasmus shook himself, and then set about freeing the woman. “Yes — here!”

As the woman slipped out of her handcuffs and struggled to stand, Angelica went straight to her side to assist her. “Oh, you poor thing!” She exclaimed, looking her up and down. “What happened to you!?”

“They caught me,” the woman explained breathlessly. “They cut my wings off!”

“Wings?” Scout repeated, before noticing the wound on the woman’s back. “Whoa! You have wings!? What the hell are you?”

“Jeremy, come on,” Spy scolded him, before turning his attention to the woman. “Who did this, and where did they take your wings?”

The woman thought for a moment, before shakily pointing to another adjacent hallway marked, ‘LABS’. “There! That’s where they took them! They were two men, one had his arm in a big sack!”

“Thank you, we’ll go handle this!” Spy assured the woman, before drawing his gun and heading down the hallway. Scout, Sniper, Pyro and Bronislava followed close behind, preparing their weapons as well.

Spy threw open the first door he saw, and he was greeted to the sight of an eerie, pale green glow. After surveying the area for a few seconds, he snuck inside while motioning for the others to follow.

The lab was large and dark, and towards the back of the room sat a wide divider. The space which the divider was concealing seemed to be where the green glow was coming from, and the sound of conversation could be heard from there as well. Spy stood just outside the divider, listening to the conversation. It was two men, and as Spy peeked around the corner, he could see them standing over a pair of large, translucent wings. True to the woman’s word, one of the men had his arm in a sling.

“And you’re sure magic from a fairy’s wings can destroy the Corrupt?” The man with his arm in a sling asked.

The other man, dressed in a doctor’s uniform, only sighed. “One can only hope. I assume that’s where this demon you’re describing came from — it lines up perfectly with the Corrupt’s disappearance from its realm. But you see: demons are easily affected by light magic. And what do fairies have? Light magic! This can easily weaken a demon’s power, you know.”

The man with the sling pursed his lips together. “Hmm…I don’t know. Using magic to defeat more magic? You know that’s risky!”

“You know what’s even more risky?” The doctor asked, picking up a scalpel. “Letting demons run loose in this town! After we get enough light magic, we’ll use it to destroy this Corrupted One and then we will discard of it properly, along with the fairy herself!”

Spy suddenly stepped into their space, aiming his gun at both men. “I have a better idea.”

The men both jolted, and the doctor exclaimed, “Who are you!?”

“It doesn’t matter who I am,” Spy stepped forward, still pointing his gun. “Now, while I’d very much like to give that lovely lady her wings back, I’d like to ask you something first: where is Bea?”

There was a pause. Finally, the man with the sling lied, “I don’t know who that is!”

The doctor angrily shoved the other man. “Oh, damn it, Lazarus! I told you letting that woman in here was a bad idea!”

Annoyed, Lazarus shoved him back. “Don’t touch me, Handy! It’s not my fault you—!”

“Silence!” Spy shouted, cutting him off. “Where is she!?”

Lazarus reached into his own pocket, pulling out a gun and aiming it at Spy. “Like I’d tell you, you masked beast!”

“Masked beast!?” Spy repeated, offended. He fired at Lazarus, but Lazarus ducked and fired back, blowing a hole into the divider and just barely grazing Spy’s shoulder.

“Dad!” Scout yelped, running in and aiming in his own gun. Dr. Handy leapt in the way and collided with him, sending the gun across the floor.

Spy quickly snatched the gun and tossed it back to Scout, who wrestled his arm out from beneath Dr. Handy just long enough to be able to catch the gun without an issue. In a quick motion, Scout aimed the gun and fired once, nailing Dr. Handy in the shoulder.

Dr. Handy rolled backwards with a shriek, knocking over a medical tray of equipment and sending it clanking to the floor. Lazarus quickly aimed his gun at Scout, but froze up when Sniper seemingly came out of nowhere and pressed the nozzle of his gun against his head.

“Where is she?” Sniper asked, voice low.

“Who?” Lazarus asked, turning slowly to point his gun at Sniper in return, eyes locked on him.

“Don’t play dumb,” Spy came closer and pointed his gun at Lazarus as well. “Where is Bea?”

Trapped between two guns with only one weapon and a broken arm, Lazarus sucked his lips into his mouth and debated whether or not to tell the truth. Finally, he sighed. “All right. All right! You want the truth? She’s gone. She’s not here.”

“Where is she?” Spy asked again, voice a little more urgent.

Writhing in agony on the floor, Dr. Handy suddenly exclaimed, “For God’s sake, she went with the rest of the agents to that Mann Co. base! There, happy!?”

“What the hell!?” Lazarus hissed at Dr. Handy, infuriated that he was honest.

“The base?” Spy realized, his heart dropping. He whirled around, shouting at Scout, “Get to the nearest phone and call the base, now! Bea is on her way to the base as we speak!”

Scout sprinted towards a phone in the hallway, but suddenly, sirens rang out. The door to the lab slammed shut, mere inches from Scout’s face, causing him to shout. “Ah, goddamn it!”

Spy glanced over, seeing that Lazarus had hit a ‘panic’ button on the wall behind him. Lazarus only laughed, “The police will be on their way soon! That’s what you all get for sticking your noses where they don’t belong!”

Spy let out a yell, tackling Lazarus to the ground and beginning to wrestle with him. Dr. Handy struggled to his feet and tried to run to the door, only to be snatched up and shoved into one of the nearby trash cans by Bronislava.

“Why did door lock!?” She exclaimed, running over to the handle and tugging it.

“He put this place under lockdown, that’s why!” Scout grunted, spotting Dr. Handy in the garbage. He ran over to him and yanked him out by his collar, punching him once. “Where’s the freakin’ key!?”

Dr. Handy reeled from the punch, gasping out, “I’m not…telling you!”

In the other room across the hall, Merasmus easily blew the door off its hinges when the lockdown snapped it shut. Seeing that the lab doors were all shut as well, he quickly got up and made his way over there.

“Freeze, mortals!” He boomed, shoving his hand forward and blasting away that door just like he did the other one. The door flew across the room, smacking into Dr. Handy and pinning him flat against the garbage can again.

Ignoring Dr. Handy’s shrieks of terror, Merasmus marched up to where Spy and Lazarus were wrestling and scooped Lazarus up by the scruff of his coat like a kitten. “And just what do you think you’re doing at this hospital, you disgusting, silly man!?”

Lazarus shouted in pain when Merasmus jostled his broken arm. “Put me down, you freak!”

Merasmus eyed Lazarus’ broken arm, and she quickly put the pieces together. “…wait a second. You were the man who…!” She stopped herself, but Lazarus had already gotten a good idea of who Merasmus was as well.

“The demon child is your daughter!” Lazarus gasped, eyes going wide.

Merasmus eyed the fairy wings, and he realized what was Lazarus was plotting to do with them. Enraged, he hurled Lazarus against the wall, throwing so hard a crack appeared in it.

“We need to leave! Bea’s headed to the base, and she’s got help!” Sniper gasped out, stumbling to his feet.

Suddenly, there was shouting from the hallway, accompanied by the stomping of feet. Policemen filled the room, guns drawn, shouting for everyone to drop their weapons.

“You serious!?” Scout exclaimed. “This place ain’t even a real hospital! There’s some shady shit in here and you’re concerned about us!?”

“Shut your mouth!” One of the cops exclaimed, pointing his gun directly at Scout’s head.

In an instant, Angelica appeared behind the man with an extension cord. She wrapped it around his neck, yanking him to the ground and strangling him, forcing him to drop his gun. “You leave my son alone, pig!” She exclaimed, twisting around to slam her high heel down as hard as she could into the man’s ear. However, it only lasted a second before one of the other cops noticed and instantly fired his gun in Angelica’s direction. Angelica stumbled and collapsed to the ground, letting out a shout of pain.

“Ma!” Scout screamed in horror, running right to his mother’s side. Angelica struggled to sit up, revealing that she’d been hit in the shoulder.

“I’m okay, honey, I’m okay,” she assured him, voice hoarse and breathless.

Horrified, Spy tried to run to where Angelica lay, but in an instant, the police started firing indiscriminately around the room. Spy ducked, scrambling for his gun so he could fire back.

Pyro ducked for cover behind a table, but then whipped out their lighter. They snatched a random paper and lit it ablaze, holding it up. The fire system set off the sprinklers, and the room was instantly doused in water.

Through the midst of the chaos, the police started slipping on the hard floor and falling all over each other, with guns still going off in every direction. Stumbling, the fairy slipped into the room, anxiously looking around. “My wings! Where are they!?”

Sniper shot one of the officers in the face with his rifle, before looking back at the fairy. “Over there!”

The fairy tried to walk, but dropped to her knees in terror when a gunshot rang out, shrieking as she knelt on the wet floor. Noticing from nearby, Lar-Nah offered, “Here, I’ll get them!”

She ran behind the divider, looking around before spotting the wings. She picked them up, only to feel the nozzle of a gun pressed to the back of her neck.

Breathless, Lazarus growled out, “You don’t know what you’re doing. If you let that demon walk free, our whole world could be at risk! You don’t want that, do you?”

Lar-Nah stared down at the wings for a moment, before deciding, “I don’t know about that, but I know I’d rather not share a world with a bastard like you.”

Lazarus scoffed. “Well, let me help you with that!” He tried to pull the trigger, only to realize too late that he was out of bullets. “Oh, shit—!”

Lar-Nah suddenly pulled a syringe of relaxant out of her bag, whirling around and jamming it right into Lazarus’ neck. Lazarus stumbled backwards, collpasing on top of the divider and bringing the whole thing down with it.

“What happened!?” Sniper exclaimed, running over to where Lar-Nah stood. Lar-Nah just handed him the wings.

“Get those to her!” She instructed, pointing at the fairy.

Sniper gave a nod and rushed over to the fairy, passing her the wings. In an instant, the fairy snatched the wings and put them onto her back. With a flash of light, they fused to her like nothing had happened.

The sprinklers had stopped spraying water, and Merasmus looked up just in time to see the fairy flying up to the ceiling. Her wings fluttered so hard they made a sound similar to a hornet buzzing, and her eyes were beginning to glow a pale green. She put her hand to her mouth, looking towards the windows and letting out a high pitched hum.

Merasmus’ eyes widened in terror, and she shouted at the others, “We need to leave, now!”

“What? Why?!” Spy asked, helping Angelica to stand.

“She’s summoning the rest of the fae!” Merasmus exclaimed, running to the doorway. “The ones who must not be named! The ones who must not be named! Get out, now!”

Spy, Scout, Angelica, Bronislava, Sniper, Pyro and Lar-Nah exited the room behind Merasmus, and as soon as they did, there was a sound that could only be described as the horrific screaming of a thousand voices. A giant flash of light filled the lab, followed by debris bursting every which way.

The group of eight sat crouched in the hallway in complete silence, saying nothing for a long moment. Clutching her wounded shoulder, Angelica was the first to slowly look behind her at the lab, and she uttered a, “Oh, my good fucking God,”

Everyone turned around to look at the lab, only to see that the whole room was destroyed. The furniture was completely overturned, the light fixtures were hanging from their sockets, and, oddest of all, there was no sign of Lazarus, Dr. Handy, or any of the cops. It was as if the whole room had been completely gutted.

No one spoke for a very long time. Finally, Merasmus managed to say, “We…we need to get back as soon as possible. Bea is on her way to the base. Let’s…leave, now, before anyone sees us.”

Everyone murmured in agreement, heading quickly down the hallway towards the nearest exit. However, Sniper pointed out, “I don’t think anything Bea could throw our way could ever top what the fuck just happened.”

[marylandmagiciansdaily]

Day 333

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

are we talking about spy and masculinity and his dainty little hands. I think hes fine with his hands being the way they are because it’s fancier to be dainty even as a man and I think his masculinity is less like the ‘masculine like engineer covered in engine grease and working on machines’ way and more like ‘masculine in the Don Draper getting with his secretary’ way. Like he gets chicks and buys them fancy jewelry that they wear on dates and he looks like some sorta fancy top dog. and spy’s thing with scoutma works because she’s a little bit of a gangster wife kinda gal. she likes to wear expensive things and let people wonder where she gets the money from. she’s definitely strongly implied that her boyfriend will kill someone if they aren’t nicer to her.

I am ATTEMPTING to talk about Spy and masculinity and his dainty little hands yes! Yeah this is basically exactly what I'm saying, people are applying a standard of masculinity to Spy tf2 that is clearly not the standard of masculinity he would apply to himself (I can PROBABLY make some kind of claim about it being a very American kind of masculinity being applied to a very non-American character. tbh.). "Spy tf2 likes to fuck women" is basically one of his defining character traits, its part of his joke, it's a CENTRAL part of the genre he comes from/is parodying (yknow, Bond girls?), and yet people still don't seem to like Get that that's what he'd value lmao. Like the whole thing where "Spy chases after anyone who tries to get with Scout because Dads Are Protective About Dating", something which doesn't rlly make sense to me bc a) men, sons, as Scout tf2 is, canonically, are almost never "protected" from dating by their parents in the way women are and b) CLEARLY Spy tf2 of all people places worth in getting laid, one of his biggest things is trying to help Scout be good at getting laid, and he would WANT his son to adhere to the kind of masculinity that he adheres to, which is extremely reliant on getting laid. This isn't to say that this kind of masculinity is "better" than a masculinity reliant on physical strength and having giant manly hands, both have the ability to be harmful in their own ways (I find the big manly hands one harms men more while this one harms women, who can be objectified into like a "status symbol" for men), but it's definitely different. You can have both (Scout tf2 is an example of a guy who "fails" to perform masculinity because he is not physically large or strong and he does not get laid) but I think Spy definitely has just one. TL;DR Spy tf2 would not be dysphoric about his hands because he is French

[ciorane]

some spy ships i like

[giddlygoat]

the spook family :]

[uwuowotf2waslife]

Scoutma headcanons? I’m interested now

Kind of a good natured Karen, as in she makes a killer casserole but she will be very naggy and protective of her boys. Not Sir call the MAnAgEr type but hey watch your mouth that's my son ! Type of Karen

Actually kinda rich??? She is a hotel owner and restaurant, so I guess upper middle class but with so many kids is upper low class at best.

Her real hair is brown, but she dyes it black because she thinks it makes her eyes pop out more ( gurl you look fine shush).

Kind of a standalone single parent- she knows none of her baby daddies would stand up , so she cuted them off. She even fought for them to not pay child support

Her relationship with Spy is weird at best, tainted at worst. No I won't elaborate

Lobes all her bois and treats them all with love

Has a weiner named Hans.

[cooltf2facts]

Spoi! Now That you can only tell the truth, do you miss scout's ma or had any genuine feelings for her? Or was she just part of a mission for you?

“Oh, my feelings are very genuine,” the words tumble out of Spy. “She’s the most beautiful woman I have ever met, and she makes me laugh like nobody else…I wish I could see her more often,”

[lar-nah321]

Scout’s mother texted our group chat and says that a possum got into her trash last night. Before anyone else could say anything, i hit her with one of the automated responses: “Great! Thanks for sharing.”

[time-flies-2-soon]

Scoutma headcanons, pt. 1

First of all, let's call his ma Bethie since it's easier to give her a name

Bethie's a pretty no-nonsense parent, which is good when you're raising eight boys. She has a low tolerance for tomfoolery

She's still fun! She just doesn't have the patience to stop fights, so she ends up cleaning up the boys after because they never listen when she tells them not to fight

You'd think that a mother would know how to bake... not this one

She can make a good meal, but her baking endeavors always turn out wrong

Because of this, she no longer tries to make a cake on someone's birthday, instead opting for making the birthday boy's favorite meal for supper. That goes a lot better

Bethie loves her kids but by God was she relieved when they started moving out

The boys still call her every once in a while. Some more than others, of course

Scout is one of those once-a-month callers but he sends her a little money a few times a year

...She still doesn't know what his career is, and she's kinda concerned that one day he was flown out to New Mexico and suddenly she barely heard from him at all

[fruit-teeth]

i have a suggestion: miss pauling x scout's mom

HMMMM….I actually think I’ve considered that one before…👀 I joked about it once but maybe I can think about it a little deeper

[protowilson]

Inkuary  (ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻