#tired dad bruce Wayne

[tiger-grace]

Wayne Gala Event in which Jason is still publically deceased:

Journalist: Would you say you’ve been trying to fill the void that grieving your second son left with all of the new children you’ve adopted over the years?

Bruce, staring at Jason “legally dead” Todd, inching away from the snack table with half of its contents: uh. I would definitely say there is a void being filled.

[sepia-stained-sunset]

Bruce being so done with life because none of his kids treat their medical files on the batcomputer with the importance it deserves. And the worst part is, he can't tell if it's on purpose or if they're all Just Like That.

Dick:

He loves his eldest son but for some reason, he refuses to do anything but put down estimated recovery times in his injuries folder. It's usually in the range of "2 weeks" to "48 hours" but that just leaves Bruce worrying about what happened.

One time, he put down 3 months and he nearly had a heart attack till his son called and told him Kor'i had dumped him and that this was how long he was going to be wallowing.

Jason:

Is nice enough to tell him what happened but doesn't add the degree of injury.

So he'll put down "stabbed" but won't elaborate on whether it was a flesh wound or worse. Bruce goes grey very, very early after Jason is on the field.

Tim:

Gives him just the location of the injury and leaves him to guess what happened.

Could say "arm" or "back of the head" or, on one memorable occasion, "spleen", but won't say what the heck happened to any of those parts.

Was he stabbed?? Shot at?? Who knows. Certainly not Bruce.

Damian:

Only mentions the retribution he got for any injuries he received.

"It's been handled", "he'll never be able to get the drop on me again" and more often than not, just the word "avenged".

Bruce is surprised he has any of his original hair colour left at all.

Duke:

By far the worst one. He writes down injuries in terms of his own pain scale.

Could write "OW!" or "Not Gucci" or "Better than that time Jason hit me in the face with a TV remote".

Once wrote "Non-fatal" which sent Bruce into a spiral because "holy shit Duke?? What do you mean non-fatal?? Yeah I sure hope your injuries weren't lethal?!"

Cass:

Has never been injured on patrol. Often leaves him question marks in her file which...yeah, fair enough.

[therandomfandomme]

I know it's not really canon bc Alfred is seemingly ageless, but I like the idea that he was like 30-ish when Bruce was orphaned. Like Martha Wayne was like 20 when she had Bruce and 28 when she died with Thomas being 23 at Bruce's birth and 31 at the time of the shooting, while the butler they hired was around their age too (Alfred x Martha x Thomas rights), but Bruce never realized bc Alfred goes gray early and is, again, ageless. So, he is like panicking at 21 having acquired a nine year old and he's like 34 when Damian comes in his life and by the time the batfam has settled he's nearly forty and he asks Alfred how the fuck he kept up with him before he calmed down a bit as a teen bc he had a purpose and then fucked off to go train and Alfred just goes "I was ten years younger than you're now, sir, I also don't know how you do it. Have you looked into the Batman retirement plans more?" and it's only then that Bruce learns Alfred also had not fucking clue what he was doing and was pretty young (though way more reasonable than Bruce with Dick's adoption) to have a whole ass child as a responsiblity. Just the idea that they're closer in age tickles me

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

There's no "I" in Team but there are two in Migraine

Bruce had no issue with teamwork, despite what his children and colleagues might think. Teamwork was great. If done properly it was efficient, and it was good to have backup. Competent backup, at least. 

Bruce helped found the Justice League. Obviously he was a supporter of teamwork. 

However. 

Some teams he really could have happily lived out his life without them ever existing. 

He had a list. 

One: Dick and Clark Kent

Clark had been the first hero he had introduced Dick to. It was a move he had regretted ever since. 

He was glad the two of them got along, of course, but did they have to get along so well? 

He could withstand torture but the two sets of sad puppy eyes attacking at the same time was on another level altogether. 

Two: The Titans

Pros: Dick was making friends. 

Cons: Dick was either away with his friends, or they came home with him. Really, all Bruce wanted was to spend one week without putting out any fires caused by teenage superheroes. Literal fires, not metaphorical ones. Well, actually there were plenty of those kind too. 

Three: Dick and Jason

When Bruce first brought Jason home he wasn’t sure how Dick was going to react. And so maybe he panicked slightly and didn’t end up telling him for three weeks. In his defense, the voicemail he had left asking Dick to call him soon was left before the newspaper article came out. 

Perhaps not his best moment. 

Eventually, though, the two boys were introduced. 

There was some yelling that took place, mostly directed at him, but other than that things seemed to go rather smoothly. Assuming, that is, that smoothly meant neither of them seemed to care about getting to know the other one, and mostly kept to themselves and their own activities. 

And then, four months, two weeks, and five days after Jason first came to the manor, Bruce came home to discover the two of them had bonded over some unspoken activity that neither were willing to divulge. Alfred knew and didn’t disapprove so it couldn’t be that bad, but from then on out it was…well…

Bruce began the daily habit of checking his blood pressure. 

Four: Talia al Ghul and Lois Lane

Bruce didn’t know how the two of them had met and he didn’t want to. See, Dick, he was okay with not knowing things. Sometimes. In this one instance, at least. 

Five: Dick and Slade Wilson

Worst three weeks of his life. 

Six: Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn

He was happy for them, he really was. He just wished they could be happy together somewhere less structurally damaging. 

Seven: Jason and Harley Quinn

Explosion therapy was not a thing, despite both their arguments otherwise. They didn’t even give him a Joker effigy to blow up. They could have at least asked. He would have happily paid for that one and all the rest of them. 

Eight: Tim and Barbara

 He wasn’t that old. He knew how to use his computer. 

Nine: Jason and Cassandra

Too competent. They should never have been allowed on the same team for any game ever. If he heard one more complaint from any of his other children he was going to seriously lose it. 

And then there was that one time the two of them disappeared for a week and no one, not even himself or Clark, could find them. They had turned back up with grins and minimal injuries, and Bruce had tried to not investigate, he really had. But he needed to know, regardless of how much he regretted it later. (A lot. He regretted it a lot.) 

Ten: Dick, Jason, and Constantine

Bruce hated magic. 

Eleven: Jason, Diana, and Barry Allen

No one knew how or why the three of them had teamed up. It had been four months of secret meetings and pointed looks and minor heists that couldn’t technically be traced back to them but Bruce knew. And then there was the regular day-to-day hero-ing. Diana, he could understand. That’s what she did. Jason? Had always been vocally opposed to getting too involved with the Justice League, but had also always looked up to Diana, so maybe that was understandable? Allen? The man was retired. And he wasn’t suddenly out of retirement for some reason, no. He was just there to “lend a hand” to the other two. 

At least Bruce could comfort himself in knowing Jason was spending time with two respectable individuals. It was certainly a step up from his unfortunately ongoing acquaintance with Rayner. 

Twelve: Stephanie and Hal Jordan 

They should never have been allowed to meet. It was a disaster. For Bruce. 

Jason had been the one to introduce them, as he had proudly let Bruce know after the first breaking news cycle hit.

Thirteen: Duke and Damian 

Bruce would have told Jason how thankful he was that he was acting as the moderating adult influence with those two if he didn’t think Jason would start doing the opposite out of spite. 

Jason would make a great parent someday. 

Bruce would love a six month vacation. 

Fourteen: Alfred and Martha Kent

He didn’t really need to explain this one, right? Everyone could just move on, continue with their lives and so on and so forth. 

Fifteen: Damian and Batcow

Because a boy needs a cow and a cow needs an emotional support duck, turkey, cat, dog, rabbit, goat, and raccoon. Apparently. Tim and Jason were, in Bruce’s opinion, far too enthusiastic to provide research as evidence whenever needed (or not needed, as was usually the case). 

[smolgaycat]

[glitter-stained]

Lantern AU part 2

(This is part of an AU in which some of the lantern corps work differently for a bunch of reasons, here's a post explaining it:

https://www.tumblr.com/glitter-stained/758411385986220032/okay-so-to-be-honest-as-neuropsychology-major?source=share)

Kon: Holy shit, Rob, what's with the makeover?

Tim: Um yeah, so I guess I'm a Green Lantern now.

Kon: Well damn, I die and you become a whole new superhero? When did that happen?

Tim: Uh, somewhere between attempts 76 and 88 I think...

Kon: What?

Tim: What?

****

Cass: ...

Floating indigo ring:...

Cass: *squints*

Floating indigo ring: *flickers*

Cass: *tilts her head*

Floating indigo ring: *flips around itself*

Cass: *blinks*

The double dozen of goons she was busting: ...we could... Leave you guys to it?

Cass and the floating indigo ring: Shhh.

*****

Steph: Hey dad, it's visiting hour.

Arthur Brown: Stephanie? What are you doing in jai-

Steph: *punches him in the throat*

Steph: *kicks him in the shin*

Steph: *punches him in the face with a bright green giant fist construct*

Steph, looking down at the green power ring on her finger: Now where did that come from

****

Bonus:

Hal, coming back to earth after hearing there's a bunch of new lanterns in the rough that spawned around the same time: So what's been up with Gotham?

Bruce: My blood pressure

[rougerave]

Hear me out. So Dick and Jason have always known languages. Dick from his time traveling with the circus and Jason from his time sneaking into the library and devouring all types of books when he was still on the streets.

And because of this, they could connect more easily due to their shared love of language. (Cannon can kiss my ass thank you very much.)

They made it a point to learn new languages together, so much so that they even passed Bruce in the number of languages they knew and spoke.

This is the driving factor that brings them close when Jason comes from the whole dead and resurrected drama.

The problem comes that they think everyone speaks the same languages. Like they'll be speaking English one minute then the switch it up to Swahili because they forgot a word in English and then carry on speaking in a different language until they forget a word again and change languages.

Bruce is the only one who can mildly keep up with them, but other than that his completely lost because of the shear speed the switch up the language.

It gets irritating when they're all at the dinner table and the two oldest forget the names of simple things. Like salt.

"Hey Demon spar. Pass the *snaps fingers as he tries to remember the name* the 鹽 (jim4) [Cantonese]."

And poor Damian is so lost so he looks to Dick and Dick goes "άλας (álas) [Greek]" as if that's any better. And the poor baby is just so confused, so he looks to his baba because his baba should know but his baba also looks confused. And Alfred, bless his soul knows Greek so he goes, "The salt Master Damian. Master Jason is asking for the salt."

And the whole table is also very confused and irritated by this whole exchange.

When the eldest two argue, it's explosive and physical and confusing because of the mess of languages, and the only time you hear a spark of English is when one has a black eye and the other has a nose bleed and their both laying on their backs and the only words exchanged is, "Fuck you dickface." and, "Love you too Jay."

They hug it out then throw the middle finger over their backs, limp out the room and opposite ways of the hallway.

All this happens in the full view of the family and nobody asks what words were exchanged, nobody asks what they were fighting about, they just sit shell shocked, each and everytime.

Except Bruce, who gets majority of what was said. He sits with his head in his hands and let's out a dispointed sigh. "All this ruckes because of cake." He stands so he can go call his therapist (Clark).

[thiccpersonality]

Heaven Help Me: I Had To Leave My Children Home Alone For Work, And I Hope That When I Return I Have A Home (and Children) To Come Back To

If anyone were to ask Bruce or Batman how much he adored his kids, he probably wouldn't answer you-but! Some certain superheroes (looking at you Superman and Supergirl) would be able to hear the shift of the usually calm heart beat at the question, maybe even be able to smell the contentment and love that radiates off of Bruce at the simple thought of his chaotic children. Should he learn to actually answer the question honestly without fear of seeming weak? Most definitely. But if you were to tell the Big Ol' Bat™ that, you know what he'd tell you? Shut up.

Anywho, this isn't about Bruce's deep rooted emotional issues, this is about how much he loves and cares for his kids. How much he wants to see them happy, content-and most importantly-alive.

Anyone that has come to know Bruce well enough might tell him that the last part is a little over dramatic. They'd roll their eyes at his antics and tell him to, "just calm down. You're only leaving for work, they'll be fine." But that is the issue, he has to leave his kids home alone...you know? Together. In the Manor-did Bruce mention he's leaving them ALONE yet? Because he has to leave them alone without any adult supervision. And Bruce does NOT care that Richard is twenty-five years old, he knows that he'll be too lenient on Tim's coffee intake and Damian-oh, God! He will probably try and introduce his poor baby to the-in Dick's words-"the wonders of sugar!"

Bruce shivers violently at the thought of coming back to his home-scratch that, he is worried he won't have a home (or children) to come back to.

"Maybe I don't have to leave, Alfred. I have people that can do my job for me." Bruce stands in front of the mirror just in front of the entrance door, smoothing his perfectly combed hair back in a show of how distressed leaving his kids is making him. Alfred (bless his dear heart) just smiles patiently and ever so kindly at his son through the mirror, grabbing the car key after making sure all of Bruce's suitcases are accounted for. "But you have been planning this event for awhile, Bruce. You have been so excited to open up the new orphanages and learning centers, why the worry now? You know young Master Richard can be trusted with his siblings."

Bruce turns around to face his father, his posture a bit more relaxed compared to before, leave it to Alfred to know what to say. "You're right...maybe I-"

Before Alfred can make any sarcastic comment about always being right, the little moment between father and son is ruined by the sound of Damian stomping down the steps and peaking over the railing with a pout a glare. "Father! Are you departing so soon without me? I have packed my things! So I should be ready to partake in this adventure with you."

Bruce can only stare in surprise as Damian rushes down the rest of the steps, his suitcase thumping against the wood as he drags the too big thing behind him, his little socked feet shuffling against the floor until he is proudly standing in front of Bruce, his big green eyes sparkling in anticipation as he looks up to his father. The sound that escapes Bruce can only be accurately described as the air being punched out of him, he can't handle Damian when he gets like this...so the only solution obviously is-"We can bring him. I don't think they'll mind an extra Wayne attending the opening."

Damian nods and reaches for his shoes, a curse escaping him as a pillow is very precisely thrown at his hands, forcing him to drop his shoes.

"Hold it right there, kid. Dad said that we ALL had to stay here and that I, Richard John Grayson, would be allowed to watch my adorable little siblings. Isn't that right, B?" Bruce freezes at the stares he receives from his eldest and youngest child, he can't exactly go back on his word to Richard now...Heaven knows the young man will be crushed if Bruce changes his mind and takes Damian with him, plus, the boy does have school to attend.

"I...did say that, yes." The man gives a defeated sigh and looks down at Damian with the best reassuring smile he can muster, it's kind of hard when he doesn't want to leave his kids alone either, "I'm sorry, Dami. Maybe next time you can come with me, okay? For now, you listen to your older brothers-" Bruce pauses at Jason's cackling coming from the kitchen at those words-"Listen to Dick, okay? And no unnecessary arguments with Tim." Damian's shoulders slump in defeat, his eyes only widening under the instructions to-to listen to Richard-ha! "But father, who will be aiding you on this mission of yours? All due respect to Pennyworth...but he is not as young as he once was."

What does Damian mean by adventure and mission? Bruce is only traveling to officially open up a couple orphanages and education centers in Haiti and a couple other places.

"Damian, what do you mean by that?"

Jason makes an appearance in the kitchen entrance, a tub of ice cream tucked in-between his arms like a baby. "Pipsqueak here thinks your giving a secret code for a mission you have somewhere. I tried to tell him that you are genuinely just traveling for work, but he just cursed me in Arabic and then said something about me being a snake and speaking my native tongue: lies."

Bruce looks back down at Damian with a humored look in his eyes, "I'm going to work out some things abroad. I have been working on some nice things for some very good people, Damian. Batman's work isn't just at night, you know? It's helping the people be able to live easier day-to-day too." Damian manages to slump even more, tugging his suitcase close to himself while muttering, "Then can I go quickly pack my regular clothes? I can still come." The young boy shouts at Richard picking him up and holding tightly onto him, the older stubbornly keeping his grip firm despite the struggle while he turns to give Bruce a dazzling smile.

"You go have fun with those other kids! I know-ow! No biting, Damian! I know how much you enjoy children and I'm sure they'll appreciate your dedication to their health and education. I promise not to burn anything down while you and Alfie are away!"

Bruce was feeling reassured up until Dick mentioned not burning anything down...now all he'll be imagining is his kids trapped in this maze of a home screaming as its burning down. But before he can say anything about it, Alfred honks the car horn loudly thrice, signaling to Bruce that he shouldn't keep his personal pilots waiting any longer, so, with a sigh and a slightly worried look in his eyes, Bruce bends down to kiss Damian on his cheek goodbye. Smiling fondly at the eager look he receives from Richard when sitting back up and also placing a loving kiss on his eldest son's face as well, he quickly walks over to Jason and surprises him with a kiss as well, causing the nineteen-year-old to blush and sputter.

As Bruce turns to find Tim, the boy suddenly appears behind him, his eyes glued onto his tablet while tilting his face slightly to the side so Bruce can access his cheek.

After giving all four a kiss, Bruce feels he can finally leave...well, not without shouting rules and safety measures while slowly inching his way towards the car. The man finally leaving after Alfred honks at him again. Richard holds Damian up with an arm wrapped around his chest, letting the boy dangle while he waves at the car goodbye, sighing and shaking his head fondly when he can't see the car anymore. "B sure is something, isn't he?"

Damian crosses his arms and huffs: "By something, do you mean a traitor? I thought he loved me...I wanted to go with him."

Richard coos at Damian, quickly apologizing to the younger when he tries biting at him again for the babying. "Okay, okay...I get it! I made a list of fun things we can do together! I thought this could be a chance for us to bond more now that Bruce is away and we usually end up agreeing to surround him like a flock anyway. This time can be for just us as brothers and-yes, Jason?" The older teen lowers his hand after his name is called, "Do any of the things on your list include bank robbery?"

Richard is taken aback by the question, "You remember that I'm also a cop? Why are you asking me that? I'm supposed to uphold the law."

Jason scoffs and shrugs, "Supposed to doesn't mean you are. I'm just asking to see what our list of things are-oh, oh! Or maybe we can set fire to a gang's hideout I've been eyeing recently, they've been giving me a lot of shit lately and I don't appreciate it." Richard nods politely while sitting himself and Damian down on the couch, "Yeah...I appreciate your enthusiasm, Jay. But I don't think doing a crime is exactly the best way to have fun." Damian looks up at his eldest brother questioningly for the response, "I hate to agree with Todd...but that does sound very enjoyable. Who doesn't like fire?"

"Right? See. Baby Bird gets it." Jason says proudly.

Richard looks horrified, a scenario of him and his brothers stuck in a holding cell until Bruce is called back being all he needs to shake his head quickly in refusal. "Nope! I'm going to have to keep my eyes on you two. We aren't committing arson and we aren't robbing a bank of innocent peoples money."

Tim sniffles and looks up from his tablet, "The bank robs us. Who knows how they use our hard earned money? I say we rob them back!" Damian and Jason shout in agreement, the second eldest mentioning going to grab his mask but is quickly interrupted by Richard telling him to get his ass back on the couch-"Get your ass back on the couch! Have you three always been this...this insane? I think I'm beginning to see how Bruce feels." Jason snorts, "Yeah. You're ruining my fun already, old man." A gasp escapes from Richard's lips at the unnecessarily cruel words, he is not old!

"I know how to have fun! I told you I made a list of things to do that are fun AND keep us out of harms way until dad comes back so we don't have to care about it anymore."

Damian rolls his eyes, "Fine then. Let's read this list of yours." The boy reaches for the paper and automatically sighs at the things written down on it, "Really? Play hide and seek, make popcorn and watch movies, go on a shopping spree, go to an amusement park, tell scary stories-" Damian stops there and waves the list around-"What are we, five and out on a campout? This list is so juvenile, so immature and childish and I..." The look on Richard's face makes Damian trail off for a moment, the man looks so pitiful and hopeful at the same time. "I think...it sounds just fine all things considered. Father...father did tell me to listen to you."

Richard smiles big and hugs onto Damian while shouting thank you, rambling on and on about what they could add to the list, not noticing his baby brother sending threatening glares Tim-and especially-Jason's way. Dread is what the older two boys feel when Damian suddenly smiles and grabs the list from Richard's hands, an evil cackles escaping his lips as he starts writing stuff down. "You know...maybe we can enjoy this moment? I think we should add a water balloon fight to the list."

That look the younger is wearing on his face lets Jason and Tim know that from here on out, this means war.

(If anyone that reads this also has read my Damian Gremlin Wayne and His Even More Gremlin-esque Family, thank you first and foremost! But I know I still have other parts I need to write for that, but while sitting in bed I had this idea out of nowhere 😂. I might write them doing each of the things on the list, literally! Them doing each one until Bruce comes back home lol.

Don't blame Richard for the things on the list! He has never had siblings to start out with, let alone so many at one time XD. Though...maybe I'm biased? Cause those are things I'd have fun doing with my own siblings 😂. We literally put on a puppet show when the electricity went out once and were entertained, and in my happy/crack BatFam universe, Richard is the sibling that has silly little ideas like that (and makes it fun! Thank you very much.) I might also show the kids going a bit insane while Bruce is away, cause I know I'm not the only one that feels restless when my parents are gone for a certain amount of time....right? 😭😭😭

And please don't ask me why I title my stories in such a way, cause I don't have a proper answer for that other than I find it funny 😂. Also, I wish I had the money to commission a picture of the BatBoys (actually in civilian persona) in a holding cell with another picture of Bruce looking a mix of tired, stressed and worried as he gets a call that they have to head home already XD. I can hear Bruce now, "Alfred! Tell the pilot to turn around! The boys are in jail already!"

I love talking to y'all too much, these notes are always longer than expected or needed XD. But I appreciate you all for stopping by, and don't be scared to leave me a comment (you don't have to though. Stopping by to read is enough!) No matter what it is! As you can tell by these notes, I have no issue with speaking 😂, anywho! You darlings please stay safe, happy, healthy and of course lovely as always. 💛)

[embracedbythesea]

PTA dad Bruce my love

[marskiiii]

TOOK FOREVER BUT SOOOOOO WORTH IT!

aka mY IDEAL BATFAM UNIVERSE TYVMUCHBYEEE

[littlefankingdom]

Dick who climbed on anything as a child. Even in public, especially in public. The moment Bruce looks away, he is climbing something to get as high as possible. The first times, it gave Bruce an heart attack. Now, it's just a headache.

People pass by and ask if they should call the firefighters, and Bruce tiredly tell them "He is fine, he can get down on his own.", like people with cats.

Imagine, you're walking out of some building, only to see a 10 years old standing on top of a lamppost, having a discussion with his dad guardian at the bottom.

"Dick, get down."

"Make me."

"Get down or you're grounded."

[razzledazzle0]

spike

Dick: hey have you guys realized that Jason has been a lot more calmer lately?

Tim: oh yeah I've been spiking his drinks

Dick: what.

Tim: you deaf? I said I've been spiking his drinks

Bruce getting ready to take a sip of his own drink: wait- you haven't spiked any of our drinks too right?

Tim: no not yet

Bruce: that's good- wait not yet?

Tim: 😚

Dick: TiM?

[sepia-stained-sunset]

"I've Got This!"

The Batkids are often heard uttering this phrase. Bruce has made a chart that explains how much confidence you can have in the speaker

Dick: He's lying

Jason: He's lying

Tim: He's lying

Damian: He's lying

Duke: He's lying

Cass: She's lying

Steph: She's lying

Barbara: The only one you can trust

[phantobats]

I like to think that Bruce has a meticulously maintained order of where and how to store all the gadgets in the Batcave. If it's not followed properly, his entire day is ruined and his disappointment is immeasurable - and Dick knows this.

So whenever they fight, Dick will absolutely sneak into the storage and place the slightly larger Batarangs with the smaller ones, switch the flash grenades with the smoke bombs, and maybe even park the Batmobile slightly sideways instead of having it face the exit directly.

It drives Bruce crazy, but he can't react outwardly lest his other children notice and this cursed psychological warfare begins spreading.

[fanaticalthings]

Most children, once they've grown up and moved out, sometimes come back to visit their parents to use their house as a sort of personal grocery store

And with Bruce being a literal billionaire whose house is always stocked with food and supplies, the batkids (that aren't living in the manor) definitely visit just for the purpose of taking shit for themselves.

---

For Dick, it's just small things, food and maybe some utensils. Bruce is barely in the kitchen so he never notices dishes go missing, and there are like 10 other children in his house so literally any one of the younger kids could've stolen food in the middle of the night, so he doesn't bat an eye at all.

Babs probably steals Bruce's hardware or his tools from the batcave. Sometimes, if she's nice, she'll leave a note.

Steph probably takes shit that no one will notice at the time but will absolutely be annoyed about when they need said thing. Stapler, soap bars, the microwave plate, etc...(Taking after Jason, she steals the hub caps off the batmobile's tires)

However, for Jason, once his relationship with Bruce is somewhat decent, of course he's gonna be petty and start stealing the more expensive shit in the manor for his apartment. Jason's microwave is broken? The next day, the cave's self-made and enhanced microwave made by Bruce for convenience is just gone.

Jason's feeling a coffee maker for his place? The one in Bruce's study disappears, too.

---

At first, Bruce thinks he's just sleep deprived, but then much bigger things start to go missing, like the whole TV and couch set in the living room. He assumes the younger kids are just playing pranks on him (sounds like something Stephanie would do) but then Bruce notices that the thief deliberately avoids stealing things from the kitchen, which is where Alfred is most of the time, and suddenly Bruce has an irritated clue on who the culprit is.

At first, he doesn't say anything, until one day he comes back, tired from a patrol, and is about to log in all the info on the computer only to realize his batchair is gone. That's when he texts Jason a blunt "If you really need things for your place, you can just ask me. I'll buy them for you." (As if Jason himself isn't loaded from his totally legal activities)

---

So now Jason's pettiness levels increase tenfold, and oh, wouldn't you look at it, his bike needs some new tires, and he knows a great place to get some more.

One night, Bruce is just blearily getting up for a late night snack, only to see Damian scamper away with a...lamp? So Bruce immediately follows him into the foyer only to see ALL of his kids (sans the ones not living in the manor), trying to haul two arm chairs out the window, and they just stop dead silent to stare at him until someone whispers a nervous "Crap"

Bruce doesn't even have any energy to fight, he just pinches his nose and is all "What is the meaning of this" in his tired dad voice. And Duke meekly responds with "we wanted more chairs at Jason's place"

And suddenly it all makes sense. Not once did Bruce wonder how the HELL Jason managed to lug a whole 60in TV and a full couch set on his own in one night. Of course, he had accomplices. Bruce just turns right around and goes right the hell back to his room to sleep. He'll deal with this in the morning.

[sparkoflena]

As somebody who has written Batfamily fanfiction (mostly for myself but I have like two things public), Bruce Wayne's relationship with his kids will always be the hardest part.

Yeah, I could fanon it. But I do try my hardest to be at least vaguely canon-compliant in terms of characterizations/relationships.

BUT the history of Bruce Wayne as a father changes depending on the author you read, which Robin is Robin-ing at the time, and what trauma Bruce happens to be going through. Is he going to be deeply supportive of his kids and attend their events and be both awkward and proud? Is he going to hit his kids? Who knows, certainly not DC writers.

(I'm of the opinion that Bruce Lost-His-Parents-At-A-Young-Age & Adopted-Kids-Like-Him-To-Build-A-Family-He-Didn't-Have-As-A-Child Wayne ABSOLUTELY should be a Good Parent[TM], albeit a bit Overprotective Dad. But there are only a handful of authors who follow this depiction)