#canon shmanon

[smolgaycat]

[merciawintersageposting]

A little more head canon- Rook meets Emmrich, Harding, Lucanis and Varric at the Necropolis🐦‍⬛🗡️☠️

The Magpie, Part 2

Fifty years isn't a long time to live. But it's long enough to recognize the moment where a chance meeting turns to poetry. But there you have it, Cassandra.

Er- your holiness, whatever.

Now, where were we... the door to Emmrich's office swung open as if by magic- and all we saw was this rickety tea trolley.

Yes, yes, we were past this part Varric- you and Harding went to investigate and were locked outside. Don't tease me.

Excuse me, who's telling the story here?

Anyway, Harding and I felt the door swing shut in front of us, a gust of wind blowing what looked like the remnants of brown robes off the trolley's handle. Keep in mind, Rook was nowhere to be seen and more about that elvhen armor later. But the rest I heard secondhand…

Something itched along Lucanis' skin, rough woolen tendrils of magic on the palms of his hands. He grasped almost imperceptibly under one sleeve for a small dagger.

Moving toward Emmrich, Lucanis eyed the door with knitted brows. That itchy feeling at the Crow's collar intensified. And just in time too- he snapped around, catching a lithe wrist in an iron grip, a khanjar barely grazing his adam's apple.

"He's not the job. Leave him be." a soft clear voice insisted as Rook materialized from the camouflage of their armor. A pair of sea gray eyes searching Lucanis' for intent.

"Take the blade off my neck, little bird," the Crow commanded archly. Rook squinted, at last seeming to grasp something of the situation.

"He would never have seen you coming if he had been," they demurred matter of fact. Rook didn’t particularly want to be in competition with the Demon of Vyrantium, even at the risk of failing in their task. Emmrich and Manfred watched this exchange with the puzzlement of men who've been entombed with books for an age seeing the sun for the first time.

"My apologies," Emmrich interjected, a flattered but curious smile threatening to break through his poised facade, "was this an assassination attempt?... And how did you get past my wards?"

Emmrich remembers what they did then to this day. Rook smiled that shy, crooked half smirk- and for a moment their gray green eyes lit up like veilfire in answer.

That was of course before Harding and I had to interject the meet cute, busting in the door. (Don't tell her I said it, but Harding is like a battering ram when she wants to be.)

"Hate to break up whatever this is,” I said, "but there's six demons in the hallway and they look" - I shivered - "juicy."

Four faces rounded on me, even Manfred grimaced- though it sounded more like his ribs clattered.

"We've gotta go now, Professor." Harding huffed, nocking an arrow.

The moment Lucanis and Rook drew their blades, I thought oh shit, we're really in it now.

"Rook," Lucanis gestured at the open archway and muttered as they walked by, "your footwork is sloppy."

"Your cravat's crooked," Rook retorted and Lucanis almost checked- almost. Then Rook looked to Harding and me and said "we need him," meaning Emmrich- "alive."

Without batting an eye, Rook headed out first to greet whatever those darkspawn things were. Mind you Emmrich and Manfred were still marveling at them like two old biddies at mid day chant.

Varric, stop laughing.

You should see your face- you look just like Emmrich when the Crows cut through those demons like fresh butter.

Heart eyes mother-

[epersonae]

also magnus looks dashing as fuck in red

I SAW HIM IN YOUR POST, literally that image in my mind was the origin of "you can't tell me that didn't happen" back in the day

[poulticepurse]

A work-not-exactly-in-progress

Sometimes I open my WIPs folder and immediately have to X out of it because I am a coward. Today I was a v brave girl and not only opened the folder, I also opened a FIC. And I WORKED ON IT.

Anyways, here's Wonderwall part of an AU WIP that I started months and months ago after a few drinks that has never seen the light of day and at this rate it's not looking great.

Everything was loud. Very loud. Aloy groaned as she rolled over, searching for a pillow or a blanket to pull over her head to muffle the noise from outside her door. Had Avad returned and Meridian was honoring his arrival with a parade?

Everything was loud. Very loud. Aloy groaned as she rolled over, searching for a pillow or a blanket to pull over her head to muffle the noise from outside her door. Had Avad finally returned and Meridian was celebrating his arrival with a parade?

Her throat burned and her lips stung as her nerves reignited. When she instinctively reached for her focus, her finger brushed bare skin. She blinked her heavy, gritty eyes, feeling as if she’d been asleep for days.

But the ceiling overhead was unfamiliar. It wasn’t the open sky she’d often slept under nor was it the beautiful painting mural of her bedroom at the Sun-Palace. Confused, she stared, trying to make her jumbled thoughts make sense.

An intruder. At the Sun-Palace. They’d chased her and then—

Aloy jerked upright and twisted, ignoring the sharp protest of pain in her murky head as she did so. Flickering light leaked in through the metal bars of the door, illuminating the rough stone of her windowless room.

Her windowless cell.

She stumbled from the bed, barely keeping on her feet as she careened towards the door and fell against the cool metal bars. Her breath left her chest in a shaky rush as the world began to spin.

This couldn’t be happening, not again.

Gritting her teeth, she pushed the fear down and tightened her grip on the door. “Fight like you can win, dammit.” She repeated it until she could take a full breath.

Whatever this was, she could win. 

[clairedelune-13]

Don’t tell me about “canon”.

I don’t care. What I make up in my head is far superior to that “official” nonsense.

[apocalyp-tech-a]

I am on board with this. Lol.

Tech is CX-2 but he breaks from the mind control when Wrecker hugs him without realizing that Tech was being mind controlled cause he was just so happy to see his baby brother and Tech is so confused because the last thing he remembered was falling and then being captured and now Wrecker is hugging him so tight he can’t breath and apparently it’s been half a year since he last saw them??? And Crosshair came back??? And there’s this guy named Hemlock??? And Omega is even more traumatized?? What? Huh? How?

Anyway he blows up Tantiss like fives minutes later and they all go to Pabu and everyone is happy and nothing bad ever happens again

[meistoshi]

satoshi is absolutely anomalous, though. there are games he shouldn't have won, but he did. there are deaths he shouldn't have come back from, but he did. there are super-hero/-villain confrontations he should have gotten caught up in the middle of, but he did not. there are places he shouldn't have been, universes he shouldn't have interfered with, which he wound up in anyway & in which he helped anyway.

[thealogie]

I'm so in awe at how much I enjoyed the DW specials and how much it returned me into the Who brainrot, never thought it would've been possible. I even saw the leaks early, way back when they appeared first and thought: ugh, sounds so stupid and like a pathetic grab for ratings and like a waste of Tennant and that poor SexEd guy. But it turned out to be such a joy. Only the first ep didn't completely land for me, but it still gave me some major (reluctant) hype which I was sorta ashamed of at first. But WBY has blown me away, I rewatched it 4 times now and always find smth new to feed the brain sharks, it's becoming unhealthy how much I like it. And then this fucking conclusion, such a fountain of brilliant stupidity and, again, joy. I don't wanna even think about canon-shmanon, it was too good and authentically DW to pick it apart. And all the BTS, it's just so fucking wholesome. I mean, I'm used to Tennant being a wholesome blorbo for 20 years now, but he just adds and adds to all his skrunkliness and decency and joyfulness in these BTS to an unbearable amount. But Ncuti! And Catherine! And even RTD with all of his trolling and nepotism and giving zero shits! All this is just so perfect in the DW way, I'm honestly bought and paid for, shut up and take my stupid fan adoration.

Honestly RTD’s stupid power trip and over-obsession with his little tropes are a feature not a bug to me. It’s so hilarious. I imagine this is how people felt when he clearly went on a power trip at the end of season 4 too and threw DT a big Viking funeral within the show. And he said “I see why some people wouldn’t like this…ok watch this now….” And did something so much funnier and more self-indulgent

[merciawintersageposting]

A little more head canon- this time about how Rook met the Companions at the Necropolis🐦‍⬛🗡️☠️

Part 1: The Magpie.

Power is the same everywhere. Especially among the dead.

The Grand Necropolis, Maker’s Mile in common, was where the wealthy dead found new life under the careful stewardship of their equally privileged caretakers. The so-called Mortalitasi. In these grand halls, the spirits of the poor are an afterthought for most, or an encroaching blight to others.

Just like home, Rook noted warily.

They pass quietly through grand romanesque archways and stone-paved hallways in a minder’s drab brown clothes. Invisible in the bustle of spirits, guards and minders. Their head respectfully bowed under a cowl, the only sound that of the rattle of a silver trolley on wheels. It’s such a thing to be seen by many and yet remain invisible to most, as servants often are. But then crowd cover is a shield- and Rook moved with the purposeful walk of a servant headed to complete an errand.

Most Crows count themselves as carrion makers, but Rook’s specialty was of a different variety. Less sanguine, more…surgical and acquisitive. Amidst all the rumors and speculation about the Crows, you’ve likely heard whispers of the ragazze. A pitiable pun, but the Antivan root word for “youth” is gazze, or Magpie. Trained from toddling to adulthood as the wily procurers of shiny objects, they are taught to fetch and retrieve for the guild. Curios. Information. Secrets. Birds of prey collared by short leashes and even shorter lives. Rook is one of their number.

Whispers of conversation, long past and curiously present, flow around Rook through the skeletal interior of the Necropolis. Traveling along the artfully sculpted ribbed dome toward shelves filled with noble bones in noble tableaus. All leading to the offices of the Mourn Watch.

Normally this corridor is silent as a tomb, the only indications of life the mottled marble plaques above each door inscribed with the names of individual Watchers. The living stewards of the mostly departed.

Today however, voices carry from the office of Professor Emmrich Volkarin. Rook had expected a few disruptions. Patience is not a virtue for a Crow after all. Simply the cost of doing business. So they waited in the wings, and listened.

An upper class tenor voice said something they couldn’t quite make out- something about a text, the undead, and the Fade, but the man was speaking too animatedly for Rook to catch it. This, they were certain, was the Watcher in question.

“We know the Necropolis is next, Professor.” Harding cut through the professor’s academic soliloquy.

At this Emmrich deflated- and sat down heavily in his office chair, fingers steepled.

“It’s all rather apocalyptic,” Emmrich said, and then more decidedly, “Manfred— this calls for tea.”

The skeleton’s unearthly green gems glittered with banked sass.

“But of course. And will his lordship also require shortbread?” the skeleton riposted in the most affected and crusty accent he could muster.

Emmrich pursed his lips, accustomed as he was to their dynamic.

“As you may recall, I rang last time. And you drew tails this morning.” Emmrich replied.

“Pity that,” Manfred tutted in false sympathy, “but don’t get up on my account, think of your knees.”

“…and Manfred-“ Emmrich ignored the barb and continued abashed, “about the biscuits...”

Manfred pulled the brown velvet bell pull at the doorway while the glittering gems in his eye sockets rolled so loudly they creaked.

“We were saying Professor—“ Varric interjected, clearing his throat as he had little stomach for pleasantries today. He shared this trait with the Crow leaning on the wall beside him. But the only sign of impatience Lucanis had shown so far was the occasional grimace at the chatty professor.

And then a little interruption changed everything. The knock at the door for tea came far too soon. All eyes snapped toward the archway.

Varric would later call what followed Mayhem at the Mortuary.

For more, here’s Part 2.

[apocalyp-tech-a]

Yep! Phee is so awesome. I'm still fuming that there was no closure to that parting for Eriadu scene, let alone his 'death.' Likewise that Phee was relegated to a *useful* background character and didn't get *her* happy ending with Tech which they very much deserved!!!

Ugh.

Sometimes I remember that Bad Batch gave us this badass Black woman who was a liberator of ancient wonders and was like Indiana Jones but fucking cooler and witty, charming, and FUN and so so so nice and caring and understanding and she befriended the Bad Batch and gave them a safe place in the galaxy to call home and then made her the love interest of the heavily autistic coded white-washed Maori man and thus made them an interracial couple

AND THEN-

they killed off Tech and then used Phee as an uber driver for s3 and didn't give her any closure or anything for his death.

[metalichotchoco]

Canon shmanon I can do whatever I’d like

Robbie is doing fine and kisses his wife and husband and lives a long fulfilling life.

All the noir books are technically in the same place so Matt Murdock is being a lawyer who sometimes enlists a certain spider private eye for cases. Also they team up like in spiderverse unlimited 41-43 I like the friendship

I like spidernoir being a private eye rather than a reporter, it’s got a more martial feeling idk

[dazzlingmemes]

things  my  best  friend  has  said  taken  out  of  context  part  ix. change pronouns/tenses if needed ! tw :   mature  themes  &  strong  language.

i’m  sorry  for  being  a  bad  person.

i  would  touch  an  onion  for  you.

mawmaws  do  be  slow  as  hell.

y’all  make  out  or  something  the  tension  is  ridiculous.

do  you  ever  just  think  about  how  dark  the  ocean  is  after  a  certain  point?

blue  ivy  is  a  grammy  winner  at  9  years  old  and  i  just  ate  3  peanut  butter  cup  eggs.

google,   how  do  i  get  amnesia?

yeah  that’s  not  ketchup.

what  is  the  moon  gonna  do  with  6.7 million  sperm  samples  anyways?

dolly  parton  murdered  her.

no  jesus  and  no  crack.

get  ready  for  a  hug  and  a  fist.

i  will  take  your  brain  out  at  the  knees.

they’re  just  standing  there  like  they’ve  glitched  in  the  matrix.

a  week  in  apocalypse  times  is  like  6  months.

i  have  to  immediately  leave  the  planet.

her  jawline  could  kill  a  man.

i  am  gonna  be  on  all  the  watch  lists  now.

i  will  sit  on  your  glasses.

your  boos  fuel  me.

i’m  getting  that  tattooed  on  my  ass.

canon  shmanon.

i  just  need  my  emotional  support  american.

i  just  wanna  lay  down  on  my  hardwood  floor.

jesus  gonna  be  coming  out  with  an  apology  video  at  some  point.

wind,  you  spicy  bitch.

yes,  i  am  mom-ing  you.

we  need  to  create  our  crime  empire  so  we  can  take  over  the  world.

my  canadian  heart  went:  yes.

i  hope  the  government  has  fun  tracking  me  from  my  bed  to  my  laptop  to  my  bathroom  this  weekend.

she’s  a  plant  lesbian.

time  to  bed  and  wed.

can’t  wait  for  my  5G  to  kick  in.

are  we  stress  knitting  now?.

she  runs  weird  ‘cause  her  legs  are  so  long

you  know  you’re  going  through  some  shit  when  you  walk  from  virginia  to  texas.

i  fell  in  a  ditch.

this  is  so  heterosexual.

i  will  swing  a  fist  out  of  pure  instinct  so  i  apologize.

sometimes  you  just  have  to  do  weird  things  for  your  best  friend.

is  that  considered  small  arson?

tomorrow  is  taco  tuesday.

tell  me  you're  in  love  with  someone  without  telling  me  you're  in  love  with  someone.

he  can  have  both  of  my  sleeves.

i  will  write  you  a  strongly  worded  letter.

[violetfaust]

Canon shmanon: it is important to me that Benoit Blanc was playing Among Us not with Angela Lansbury but with Jessica Fletcher.

[apocalyp-tech-a]

Me! 🙋🏼‍♀️ I am still absolutely shattered and miss them so much, most of all Tech. He did deserve to retire with them on Pabu, watch Omega grow up, and get called Brown Eyes lovingly by Phee for the rest of his days.

it's august 1st, aka exactly 3 months since the bad batch finale premiered. who else has not yet emotionally recovered and will probably never emotionally recover? 🙋🏼‍♀️

[lambshots]

Ch 61 - Canon Shmanon

[inevitabledonutspree]

Canon shmanon, I do what I want

*resurrects the dead so they can kiss*