#time to do grounding exercises
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Me: Man, I feel don’t feel so great right now.
Me: *realizes that I’m in the process of putting teeth marks on my thumb*
Me: Ah, I see. I am on the verge of a panic attack.
#sd.txt#🙃#I’ve gotten so much better about#a) identifying my emotions#and b) avoiding self-injurious stims#and still#sometimes this is still how I find out that my anxiety is about to boil over#alexithymia#is a goddamn bitch sometimes#actuallyautistic#time to do grounding exercises
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I know that was a shitpost for the latest Danny Phantom fandom meme, but I'm genuinely impressed and how authentic it sounds. How much of Dash's monologue is real advice, and how do you know all of that? Do you work out?
Yes I'm so sorry to inform my good people of Tumblr that I've secretly been a part of the gym fandom for all this time. I've only recently come out as a gymbro in this phandom via my creation of the current dp gym bro au meme that I've forced upon everyone in this good holy christian space. I mix whey protein into my overnight oats, I track my macros, and I have a closet full of Gym Girlie Outfits™️.
And just know it's a badge of honor that I carry to be able to say I've converted multiple members of the Danny Phantom phandom into regular gym goers as well 💪
#all jokes aside i grew up in a very athletic family#where talking about things like gym routines and protein tracking was very normal#i worked as a tennis coach for a few years before i was injured (by my own hubris) and was forced to quit#i've been rebuilding my body basically from like the ground floor since the injury#and while at first it was frustrating cuz i had to learn how to do things i'd always been able to do before#(and yes i did cry on my yoga mat more than one time in the beginning)#now i'm learning to have fun with it!#im still very weak compared to where i once was#and it doesn't help that i was set back by other injuries that came from not taking care of myself like a bad knee#but slowlyyyy i'm getting there#i once thought i'd never be able to do an unassisted pull up again#and now i can see it within my reach!#very exciting#i love love loveeeee being strong#Also yes it's real advice to train the 'minor' muscles#for example a lot of lower back pain comes from a weak glute medius#ppl be focusing on the glute max cuz it's the big one and forget about the other glutes#compound exercises are a great way to hit multiple muscles at once
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Absolutely the funniest thing about my current corner of tumblr is that pretty much everyone I've recently followed for Apollo-Appreciating Purposes are either genuinely Hellenist or just rather very into Rick Riordan's Trials of Apollo series which is wild because I know a net zero about both of those things.
#I've never been interested in Riordan's work and the Percy Jackson books I did read as a young lad didn't change my mind on that topic#Growing up I preferred a very one or the other method for my greek adaptational content#which essentially means either you're a play or an adaptation of a legit story or myth with recogniseable figures and plotpoints#or you're an original story with mythical elements but the myths and the adaptations and interpretations of those myths is secondary#Percy Jackson did both and it was very disorienting for me because the books were well grounded enough that when I came into contact#with some element I didn't recognise or couldn't remember I myself would get confused and go “Is that true? like really?? :0c”#Then I ran a library book club and Percy Jackson books were p much all the kids wanted to read#but they rejected all of my supplementary greek myth exercises and got a lot of stuff mixed around#because percy jackson does a rather good job of making a convincing argument that it knows its stuff and people will quicker cite that#than do readings of the much more difficult older texts and translations of text#It's not Percy Jackson's fault it's just a bad experience that stuck with me and by extension leaked over into Trials of Apollo when that#was released#Trials of Apollo was crazy because I generally make it my business to consume any and all greek myth interpretational media that bothers#to include Apollo (there is a shockingly low amount of things that do that)#however a LOT of novels especially never let Apollo retain the dignity of a god in their portrayals of him#and have him resemble a teenager more than anything even remotely close to an adult#I had just gotten finished reading a novel adaptation of the story of Coronis and Apollo with this same issue#so when I opened the first volume of ToA and saw that Apollo simply genuinely WAS a teenager#Frankly I just closed the book and put it back on the bookstore shelf and very calmly walked away LMFAO#I have nothing to say about Hellenists and neo hellenists y'all seem like wonderful people and I hope#you have a lovely time with your e-offerings and worship#unless you are my single personal friend with Apollo as your patron#then I wish you 1000 woes and 10000 divine brain blasts#toa#pjo#ginger rambles
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my basement neighbour stopped me to ask if I was running my washing machine every day because the neighbours right under me kept hearing something and I was like "well that can't be me because I haven't used my washing machine in like two weeks due to me not wearing much clothes generally" and we agreed that our fucked up top floor neighbours were probably up to some shenanigans
well thinking about it it's probably my walking pad they hear. which is fucked up because idk where to put that thing so they'll not hear it so much. I don't even know if it would fit in my bedroom
#i don't wanna stop using it because it's the only exercise i get and honestly can do#i tried different ways before and never made it longer than a week but this is easy and fun. you know#man it's time to move in with my dad fr so i'll live on the ground floor#rayrambles
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Sapphic YA Book Rec: Good Moon Rising by Nancy Garden
1996 follow-up to Annie on My Mind, this time featuring 2 girls who compete for the lead role in their high school theater department.
Links to download:
Internet Archive (to borrow)
Anna's Archive
Singlelogin.re
LibGen
#book recs#sapphic ya#nancy garden#annie on my mind#good moon rising#*kicks the door down* WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!! A PDF SCAN IS FINALLY HERE INSTEAD OF THAT CRAPPY TINY EPUB I HAD TO READ FOR 10 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!#it's very similar to Annie. which isn't a bad thing if you're a fan. hell yes 2 cakes etc. (i definitely won't deny it though)#rivals to lovers version of Annie. what's not to love?!#i've always personally preferred this one for several reasons. larger cast of teen peers. all characters centered around working on#the Big Play makes the whole plot a smidgen more grounded than Annie's courtroom pastiche (not that i don't love it)#plus. well. doing theater and reading The Crucible are exact activities from my own teen years. so it's the same appeal of featuring art#but more personal and relatable lol. and yes i did first read it at the time when i was in school but i sincerely still like it to this day#that *cannot* be said for most other books i read in that era; both older and newer; both YA and not YA!#of course you have to be down with YA which it's fine not to be. but imho there's a layer of intrigue to both books due to their age#that makes it a somewhat different exercise than broader 'trying to read YA as an adult'#there's actually a third one of hers- yes basically another take on the same story again- called Nora and Liz that's for adults#which i would recommend instead if you truly cannot rock with YA. although... stylistically... it's not really that different either. lol#anyway stan PEAK in the IDEAL FORMAT FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the third site is actually of course zl*b but they have so many seo issues with scammers that i think it's best to not use that name at all#@ the sole Annie stan i saw in the tag: pspspsps#oh wait: like its predecessor the book is largely About homophobia. queen garden never skipped an Issue for each book. so tw for that
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"This show is SO good, you should watch it!!"
I gotta be honest. If I look at a character list on Wikipedia and get five characters down without seeing a single woman, it's probably not for me.
#I have no patience for 'there is exactly one woman in the main/supporting cast' anymore#unless the writing is INCREDIBLE and the themes are explored with a type of depth and nuance I can't get anywhere else (like shiki)#(daily media plug for shiki)#then I just. probably will not vibe with it. if there are no women. (also shiki DOES have interesting female characters in it)#and this isn't to say that like. things involving men or talking about men or that have a male protagonist are Not Worth#My Time that is NOT what I'm saying at all. I just want like. several women. who show up and affect the story. like LITERALLY that is all I#am asking for. I feel like that's just. the bare minimum. but alas.#mel screams about fictional ladies again#there are plenty of things that are male-character-focused that I enjoy and even genuinely think are good! but I do want people to#ask themselves why they aren't willing to go to bat for media that DOES have more women in the cast than men.#(I mean. the answer is misogyny. but I want people to be. aware of that. and evaluate accordingly)#(evaluate meaning 'acknowledge I have some biases I need to continue deconstructing' not 'drop interest in everything tumblr#user musical-chick-13 personally doesn't like')#I feel like so many times we get trapped in this space between overcorrection via 'don't like ANYTHING that's pRoBLeMaTiC in ANY way'#and people taking the 'it's fiction it's not that deep' to the conclusion of 'because I cannot actually hurt fictional characters because#they're not real that means I am incapable of hurting irl people when they talk about those characters'#like there is. nuance here. there is a middle ground. and most people have NO interest in finding it lmao#and like...if you carry your biases from irl (which EVERYONE HAS. INCLUDING ME. COURTESY OF LIVING IN A PREJUDICED SOCIETY.) into a#direct and one-to-one evaluation of stories or characters that allow you to exercise those biased ideas. then that reinforces those biases#like. no hating...for example every anime lady isn't the same as structural misogyny like the pay gap or anti-women violence#but if you automatically associate the idea of 'female character' with 'lesser-than' it strengthens the already-present societal idea that#women are not as important or dynamic or worthy of support and attention as their male peers. if you are willing to see every (white)#fictional man as having interiority and depth but struggle to see that in any fictional woman then it adds to the things society is already#telling us about women. it creates an association of 'women' with 'inferiority' and uh. that's what misogyny is.#it is not the same as misogynistic crimes against irl women but it IS a reflection of the rhetoric and societal impulses that lead to them#and even if it's a reflection and not the actual thing. it's still important to break down and examine and reevaluate because#if we don't examine our OWN biases. then even if we tear down the greater oppressive structure we'll just end up building it back up again#no your thousands of words of m/m fanfiction or liking late 2000s shonen anime isn't responsible for misogyny nor are these things#inherently misogynistic. I just want like. some acknowledgement that something being 'for fun' doesn't automatically mean that bias/#prejudice is nowhere to be found
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japanese medical negligence will drive you to american without health insurance behaviors
#hi hi hello tumblr#my migraines came back with a vengence#i didn't realize it for the 10 years i've had them#but i am pretty sure they were hemiplegic this whole time#got weakness and numbness down one side of my body from my first migraine ar 12 or 13#and just thought that was normal migraine with aura#others on my dad's side of the family (the white people) had sever migraines too so i grew up thinking it was normal#come to think of it in 10 years even an introvert like me has met 20-30 people with migraine and none of them had symptoms like mine#well this time i had leg numbness and weakness to the point of foot drop start on sunday#puking intensely wednsday - thursday#the headache finally came friday#blurred vision throughout...but i had a prolonged aura w out headache last month that didn't quite resolve#headache and nausea and vision has calmed but won't totally go away now#this whole time they worked me up for stroke and autoimmune diseases#and when that comes back normal and i say i'm pretty sure that was all a turbo migraine#the doctor starts googling migraine in front of me and is like well...you have symptoms of it but i don't know#this is a NEURO mind you not a general internist#i begged for him to nuke the way past 3 days status migraine with steroids like in the US#told they don't do that in japan#i asked to try reyvow#no to that because “my other symtoms are worse and that's only for the headache part”#i asked for a headache specialist#told none was available#eventually was kicked to the curb with 10 nausea pills and my records to take somewhere else#my foot perked up a bit after the headache started but is still droopy and weak#when i asked about PT i got “well you can still walk”#and when i said it catches on the ground and i trip sometimes and i can't walk quickly without dragging my leg i was told “well walk slowly#not even recommended home exercises#so now i'm on physical therapy YouTube trying to rehab my own fucking foot drop#i will try to find a neuro who knows about hemiplegic migraine and will treat status migraines agressively
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i release what no longer serves cunt or whatever
#txt#gooooood morning everybody its affirmations time. one of the many probs-bullshit things i do to confound therapists everywhere#listen. if u do EVERYTHING - journaling meditation yoga affirmations deep breathing grounding exercises early bedtime etc etc etc#then they get rly confused and dont know what to say anymore its rly funny. unfortunately they also tend to get insecure
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what 4 days of playing maplestory m does to a persons wrists is…. appalling… straight up sickening…. Honestly disgusting… like, holy shit…
#lIKE… I was trying to actually draw today cuz I’ve been. just only playing maplestory the best 4 days lol.#and it was BAD#like this shit hURTED#it STILL HURTS#like I’m actually like shit I’ve gotta fuckin look up fuckin wrist hand exercises or something this is bad!!!!#i actually even… yesterday I tried playing it more w the auto quest auto battle on. i admitted defeat…#but. THE AUTO BATTLES SO FUCKING STUPID GHG#like it doesn’t kno my character has a fucking double jump…#it also doesn’t know I’m an ARCHER!!!! LIKE IM A RANGED THING. I DONT HAVE TO GET RIGHT NEXT TO SMTH TO KILL IT UR WASTING MY POTIONS GHGH#and like!!! when it’s a fetch gathering things quest… it just… it. fucking. it leaves the shit in the ground.. it doesn’t care….#it so stupid….. but fuckin… I rlly do gotta use it more if I wanna keep playing cuz this is bad lol#pepper words#*the PAST 4 days. not the best lol#also to be fair I probable should be doin them excersizes anyway but liKE#MY HAND N WRISTS HAVENT FELT THIS BAD.. like they didn’t hurt at all#I kno I’ve pushed em to far when I was younger and they would hurt sometimes#but this is the first they’ve felt like this in a long ass time…#and it’s like wowwww. I rlly do have to do those stretches n use that auto battle feature#or my wrist just WILL explode… wow….#or I could stop playing that’s also an option. and I probably will eventually ghg#but not yet I’m not bored yet I still wanna play more maplestory!#it’s fun it’s nostalgic… it may destroy my wrists but it’s bringing me back to my childhood ghgh#even if I am playing the mobile version . which is admittedly probably just maplestory but worse lol#I don’t care im still havin fun w it lol
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coming home from the gym like "i need to google how much i just lifted"
#so cranky at the lady who just KEPT the weights next to her while she did warmups and band exercises for 15 minutes#girl i could have done my whole workout in that time come onnnnnn#she was doing some circuit but only used the weights like once every 5 exercises. sorry but this is grounds for murder theres already-#-SO few weights in the gym like. cmon. have some couth#but anyway yay i at least figured i Wont die if i use heavier weights so thats fun good for me
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Area woman keeps trying to explain to her able bodied coworkers that pulling her Achilles Tendon doing wall push ups was objectively the funniest thing to her over break only to have them look at her like a kicked puppy
#the life and times of tumblr user fynneyseas#does the ankle pain stink? of course! but it’s not like ankle pain is NEW#getting injured doing the world’s babiest exercise is so funny tho#I didn’t even know it was POSSIBLE to injure oneself with wall push ups I’m so talented at having a body#anyway according to my pt you gotta release your heels from the ground as you get closer to the wall#and not just trust those fuckers to be stretchy
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every time I go to the doctor they tell me I have high blood pressure and I always have to be like no I don’t I just have severe anxiety and I’m trying not to have a panic attack right now
#I’m like give me a few minutes alone to do some grounding exercises and it’ll be normal I swear#and I’m right every time
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(complaining in the tags)
#i HATE feeling like such a bad friend ALL THE TIME!!! dammit i’m just. struggling a little i guess#except i’m NOT things are FINE nothings gone wrong im just…. GAH#it’s just a few little things that pile up and make me feel bad!!! but dammit things are going WELL!!!!!#i feel like im floating. like there’s nothing solid to hold on to. and everything is going by me so fast im missing things#nothing feels SOLID!!!!! i think i just need a hug. except there’s no one to HUG!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to do something to ground me. so i’m gonna read for a bit. i fink#UGH but the book im reading is so depressing and it’s 10 pm…. i will do some breathing exercises or. ILL TEXT MY PARENTS that will help#much love if you read all this. i love you i love you i love you!!!#95#smoke detector
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I think the best way I've found to deal with intrusive thoughts (at least at night when I'm trying to sleep and they won't let me) is to listen to music but like. specifically to focus everything on feeling the shapes of the notes in such a way that prevents any thought from occurring at all, if that makes any sense
#misc.txt#that sounds weird when I type it out but notes and sounds and different instruments have different shapes and textures. you know#if I can do the hearing equivalent of rubbing my hands all over the notes and focusing on how each one feels and flows into the next#there's no room for rumination#actually is this just grounding myself. did I teach myself a grounding exercise with skyrim tavern music 10 hour mix#hm#anyway trying to teach myself that I do not have to solve every problem and answer every question and think about every topic all the time#I swear it feels like physical pressure in my skull and it makes me feel legitimately ill. ridiculous. can we just chill out for like 5 min#if my brain was a little guy standing in front of me I would beat the absolute shit out of him bare handed and It would feel so so good
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Some thin people: "You should stop eating junk food."
My dinner last night:
#fatphobia#some thin people really think being thin makes them an authority on health#thin people: “You should really take up this eating disorder disguised as a fad diet to lose weight.”#me a fat girl who takes a trip to the grocery store midweek to get more produce because I eat so many fruits and vegetables: “Pass.”#some thin people who skate by on their genetic predisposition and normal hormone production: “You should stop drinking soda.”#me who drinks plain tap water 98% of the time: “Thanks for the advice.”#some thin people who barely get 500 steps a day: “You just need healthier habits.”#me who exercises 5 days a week doesn't drink or smoke: “you're right I just have no willpower.”#health doesn't have a look#being healthy doesn't give you the moral high ground#even if a fat person has health problems and doesn't maintain healthy habits they are still a worthy person who deserves respect#I'm just a fat girl doing my best#unsolicited health advice is so tired#don't comment on other people's bodies#mind your own plate#is the goal health or thinness?#wellness is a cult#other people's health is none of your business#salad#my food#my photo
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there is no practical reason for me to wait until november to upgrade my iphone 8, but i think it's spiritually healthier to sit on it for a few weeks
i need to exercise my "wait for it" muscle instead of impulse buying this (even though it's definitely time for it)
#i impulse bought my car lol#hella rushed it and like mostly no regrets but .... some regrets#i didn't feel grounded in the decision. it was kinda like#one day i wasn't ready for the purchase and the next day i snapped and boom CAR#lots of upgrades this year. i had been driving a 1998 toyota that kept breaking down on me until i physically couldnt handle it anymore#and now my phone is struggling to connect to cellular so its definitely time to upgrade#but how many opportunities do i get to exercise patience like this!#proud of myself for using things to the last drop!#personal finance
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