#people are messy and imperfect

[a-memory-a-distant-echo]

i feel like people forget that sometimes characters in fic are written like that because it's a reflection of real life.

people have sex without setting boundaries. people have unprotected sex without talking about their sexual histories or producing recent sti tests. people play with kink without discussing it ahead of time or establishing a safeword. they have anal without 'enough' prep or lube—they may even prefer it like that.

and none of this is really a fantasy. it's all pretty normal. you can feel that it's inappropriately normalised, and you'd probably be right! but it is normalised: one study found that 58% of female undergraduate students on the campus studied had been choked during sex. 20% of those students said that they'd never been asked if it was ok; another 30% said they'd only sometimes been asked if they consented. fully half! (non-paywalled journal article on choking during sex here, including these numbers.) despite a rise in stis of all sorts, condom use is declining. (pdf link to the full text of this study about declining condom use in the us; aidsmap article about an australian study with similar results.)

even when people do talk about things—sex or anything else—they communicate imperfectly. 'yeah, but don't go too far' is consenting and setting a boundary, and also relying that the person you're talking to has the same metric for 'too far' that you do. for some people, 'the trash needs to go out' is a neutral, factual observation; for others, it's a request that the person they're speaking to take out the trash.

even when people understand each other perfectly, people react unpredictably to things sometimes! we behave irrationally! people laugh uncontrollably at funerals, or get angry at the straw that broke their back rather than the enormous load they were already carrying. they get scared and lash out at people trying to help them. when hurt, most people do not instinctively reach for therapy-approved grounding exercises and 'i feel' statements.

pretty much any bad choice that characters could conceivably make is a choice that people make in real life, on purpose, all the time. people do things that can have catastrophic, life-changing effects because it felt like a good idea at the time, or they're leaning into the vibe, or they just didn't think about it all that much, or an infinite number of other reasons.

fiction isn't intended as a guide on the best, safest, and most responsible ways to live your life, and fanfic isn't any different. it's not a narrative flaw to let characters do things that are messy or harmful or downright stupid—it's a reflection of what people are actually like, and not something that authors should feel they have to apologise for.

[lukolabrainrot]

Ok I've been SUPER busy, so I am not going to be able to respond to Asks until the 25th. So many people have been having complex feelings about all the information and rumors that have been coming out this weekend though. That is valid, but personally, I haven't really been very phased by everything this weekend. Bringing this back around for some positive energy, and because I still feel as confident as I did last week about L/N. I will also add this:

Everyone here who has been following the story for a while knows that A trolls and does shady s**t. A therefore is not a very reliable source.

We really don't have any reason NOT to trust N.

Everything that has happened this weekend doesn't really surprise me based on all the L coded crumbs N gave us last week. This is A's MO. Nothing really new.

Reminder: WITHOUT RECEIPTS=BS until proven true. Unconfirmed rumors are not facts! And there have been soooo many rumors in this situation that ended up not being true. So we kind of just have to wait for more publicly available information, and understand that we're NEVER going to know all the facts.

Just because L still likes A's posts and hasn't liked N's recent posts DOES NOT confirm that he and A are still together, or that him and N aren't getting along. It just doesn't.

Lastly, BOTH L AND N are not perfect human beings, and have made mistakes in their lives. Human beings are complex and multidimensional. I think there is just a lot more publicly available information about L, which is why we have been focusing on him more. You definitely don't have to agree with everything he's done in his life (I know I don't). However, it's important to process your feelings in smaller spaces like this. It is not alright to directly spew hate online about ANYONE involved in this situation. It just causes more pain, and doesn't accomplish anything.

I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING 😭😭😭

[genderqueersammy]

The most heartbreaking thing is seeing how Dean’s written to be a really fucking messy parentified child (because ofc no child can be a proper parent to another child) who tries and wants to do Sam good and yet fails and yet still loves and cares for Sam so deeply, and then finding out that the fandom wants him to be the same boring eldest child as a perfect parent troupe we��ve seen a hundred times

[gibbearish]

its occuring to me what specifically it is that therapists go to therapy for

[itsmesheep]

*beating you with hammers* SOMETIMES 🔨 THINGS 🔨 THAT 🔨 ARE 🔨 HOMOEROTIC 🔨 ARE 🔨 INTENTIONAL 🔨🔨🔨

[dilfssi]

it will always make me laugh how when anything negative about messi comes up in the news, people’s first reaction is to say he’s not the person that the media paints him out to be… i mean yes? that’s why i like him. he’s not a perfect dude, he was a brat during his peak years, he got heated on the field because he was overly competitive, he has issues with other players when they’re not performing, he sulks especially when things aren’t going his way. none of these things make him any less great or any less worthy of admiration.

[brain-bumbler]

What character do you think is underrated in pn2

...Dion. But maybe I'm underestimating the number of other people who blorbo this side character and its not just like me and two friends xD Though I also wish Frazie had more dissections and works. She's so interesting!

I think a great thing about Psychonauts is that every character is so unique and individual and creative, they all stand out in their own spotlight. And the fandom is really great about giving everyone attention. I can't think of any character that I haven't seen a lot of love for- because they're all lovable!

When I really think about it though, Truman is a good case for being underrated! He seems like such a great dad character. The fandom loves Gus, but let's not forget how Truman seems so caring and supportive of Lili. He's possibly a single dad, dealing with a whole organization and a little firestarter at the same time. Dilf Truman truthers where are you?

[dogwoodbite]

i do actually really like it when people draw top surgery scars all spiky and bright and starlike. it is still highly aestheticized stylization obviously but it does feel like an improvement from the previous most-widespread modes of depiction i saw, being perfectly symetrical, barely-visible thin straight double incision lines just below the pecs

[mishkakagehishka]

https://www.tumblr.com/mishkakagehishka/712593594910949376

kicks down your door.

OP IS SO DAMN RIGHT AND YOU'RE SO DAMN RIGHT FOR REBLOGGING.

PLEASE IF YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO READ HOT LIMIT AT LEAST T R Y TO FACT CHECK!! DO SCHOOLS NOT TEACH PEOPLE TO C H E C K T H E I R S O U R C E S!!! EVERYTIME A CHARACTER CRAZY:B OR VALKYRIE OR EDEN GETS MISINTERPRETATED I START VIOLENTLY CHEWING SILVERWARE!!! READ THE STORY!! AT LEAST LEARN THE CONTEXT!! IM LAZY TOO BUT THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE TO FALL FOR MISINFORMATION!!! THE WIKI IS RIGHT THERE!!! I WILL VIOLENTLY CHEW THROUGH ALL THE BUTTER KNIVES!!!

im not that enraged but its so annoying!!!! when people dont fact check!!!! come on!!! we're taught this!!!! in!!! school!!!! we!!! are!!! living in a world where you need to look out for misinformation!!!! we should know this by now!!!!

- chicken liver

I feel like, i respect not reading stories. But i feel like if you're gonna talk shit about certain characters, you HAVE TO read stories. I want sources for your claims of xyz being an irredeemable bastard. I want someone who's read Human Comedy and Neverland and Hermitage and Machina to tell me if they think Shu is a piece of shit who is never gonna be redeemable. I want someone who has finished the main story of !! and Hot Limit to tell me if they think Rinne is a bad person one-dimensional villain.

I respect disliking a character and i respect talking shit about a character, but i do not, will not, cannot respect misinfo and misinfo-based hatred on a character !!!

[girlyliondragon]

Real talk the thing about making extremely complicated/complex and flawed characters (especially those greatly based off yourself to the point they're your self-created comfort character) that you've grown to be extremely proud of thinking of their stories, is that you also know that there are people out there that will absolutely villainize the fuck out of them or try to 'reason' that they are completely irredeemable even in instances where they have no control over their life and act accordingly or even are pushed into situations where they didn't want to be to begin with or are even trying to be better than they were before even when they have gone through and still go through moments of relapse like any troubled character would in an attempt to make them feel real and it actually really fucking scares me.

I can't give details, but it's like. It's obvious they, the character, aren't a good person, not as a whole anyways and aren't meant to be, in fact said character sees themselves as the worst to exist because in their eyes they deserve every bit of punishment after everything they've done because they are forced to be stuck in the past and mask themselves unhealthily due to repeated mistakes and not wanting to do them again despite making achievements to move on and be happy and despite some telling them that they're doing a good job despite everything and that they deserve to be happy and meaning it rather than trying to placate them, it's obviously up for people to decide their own perception OF that OC from what they read of their story bits to decide whether they like the character based on what they read of them or not, because flaws and shit like this is very compelling to many, myself included.

But at the same time I'm super nervous about the idea of expanding on said character and showing their maladaptive coping mechanisms and behaviors and bad moments alongside their good moments because a lot of people on the internet, especially the very loud ones have no fucking concept of the varying shades of grey morality in the slightest. Even in cases where they are in fandoms with characters with many different forms of grey morality, like it terrifies me that someone could potentially misread everything and ruin my desire to make this OC I'm vagueing about want to not only move on and be better, even if they have to start from the bottom again sometimes, but redeem and even forgive themselves in their own eyes in the process and start anew, just because people have a black/white mentality that they force onto at the expense of others doing so. It really ruins character exploration and growth.

[gardeninggraves]

watching a reaction video for encanto and immediately exiting out of it when they dont understand isabela as a character and tear her down the entire time during her song is self care

[goldlightsaber]

the sexism against olivia wilde is soooo fucking ridiculous

[approximately20blorbos]

the way the stormlight archive fandom treats Lirin is probably evidence that if/when I publish SATT 90% of people are probably going to completely hate Immor bc they've misinterpreted him as a character which is. :(

[worldwithoutmiracles]

also, it's a toxic manifestation of the individualization of American society. you used to have unions, families, neighborhoods, clubs, sports teams, work mentors, church groups, coworkers, casual acquaintances, hell your local grocer, all of these people you would talk to every day and who would have roughly similar local concerns as you did. healing, growth, learning, venting, soothing - all of these things were community responsibilities, and if there was something lacking, it was up to the community to do better.

now that corporations and technology have weakened all of those real bonds and atomized us into consumers in content bubbles, it's up to each individual person to "work" on themselves. group religion becomes a personal spirituality. your unionized workplace becomes your personal hustle. your community softball league gets swapped out for a side gig that's more "productive" (and coincidentally, isolating). and the entirety of the injustices of the world become "mental health struggles", and it's up to you and your phone that is tuned to 24/7 panic and outrage to navigate it alone with expensive therapy and self-help books. oh and if you fail at any of these, it is your personal moral fault.

I'm not saying all the old structures were great or that people didn't used to have problems. I'm not saying everything about our new lens is flawed, or that no problems can be solved through individual work. but I'm shocked at how quickly and completely most people have fallen into a kind of bootstraps Protestant-work-ethic myth about every problem in their lives being a problem in themselves.

these are not all things we are supposed to do alone. you are not failing. no person is capable of healing themselves completely and perfecting themselves through raw effort. structural change and larger institutions are important tools in creating the life you want to live and the person you want to be. form community. help other people. have conversations with people with different views. stop making yourself the center of all the world's hopes and all its failures.

i keep thinking about how it feels as if we have developed ourselves an obsession with "healing" these days – and a friend said something that really stuck in my head – "if you're part of a community where you're always trying to heal, then that means that you always need to be sick". like i think that we're all taking this ideal of healing too far saying that everybody needs therapy all the time and resetting your gut biome or surrounding yourself with positive energy or whatever it is that you can come up with. you're always focusing on something that is "wrong" and that needs to be eliminated, after which everything will be okay again. it all sounds like just another way of maintaining an illusion of control over your life and i don't think it's doing us any good

[cuppy-dog-city]

steven universe taste so good when u ain’t got a bitch in ya ear telling you it’s nasty.

[miisfits-toys]

hi hi r u perhaps a fan on the game "smile for me"? i feel like you'd really like the game and yugo limbo's artstyle :-)

I Am in fact a big fan of Yugo Limbo's work!! I believe I found them just before they started posting about the development of Smile For Me, and have been on the ride since! I've very much been looking forward to their latest endeavors... A copy of BKMN sits lovingly on a bookshelf and I clap my silly hands over GGG development.

Their work has very much been an inspiration for me over the years, as have their own inspirations!! I very much suggest peeking into the things people are into, both for art-style reasons and There's A Lot of Cool Media reasons.

I appreciate you referring their work to me! Thank you and Best Wishes [-:!!