#tim: i’m not getting adopted
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Prompt 334
So. Danny has discovered he might erm, might be technically a necromancer. At least as far as magic is concerned. Like even if it’s just via resurrecting himself the magic side of things (god, he’s more scientist- sided dangit) count it as such.
Which means that half the time someone tries to summon a necromancing-esque being, he’s the one who gets tugged if he’s even a centimeter within range. It was annoying enough in high school, it’s no less annoying in this world they’ve all moved to.
On the bright side, thanks to also being half dead himself, the summonings and other rituals can’t actually drag him somewhere. It just causes him to feel like someone was crushing a lung or two, which honestly nothing new. (Gosh were those days of vigilante work really that violent? Huh, guess they were)
What he wasn’t expecting was for a tiny child, a living child, to track him down despite him not existing legally or anything similar in this world, to revive their previous local child vigilante. Which like, hey, first of all, he has a few questions? Just a couple and yeah sure, he’ll shake on it- can he have your name first there kid…?
Tim, on the other hand, is getting a little concerned when he realizes a lot of the questions the probable-fae keeps asking are in line with the stuff CPS asks. (Unknown to him, that is exactly where Danny is getting several of his questions about this scrawny vigilante kid. Erm. He might have to take the kid, for like, his own safety- hey Frostbite he needs your help he has some questions-)
#Prompts#DCxDP#DPxDC#Tim: I’m not getting adopted#Danny already setting up another room in his Lair connected to an apartment door:#Danny to Jordan & Ellie & Jazz: You might be aunts/uncle soon a tiny vigilante child tracked me down#Danny: Tucker I need assistance in the digital sense not the reality bending sense BUT-#”Sam I need your entire list of foods & humanely dispatched meat products I might be acquiring a child soon”#Tim (later): In avoiding getting adopted by my associate Batman I may have gotten adopted by a necromancing space fae#Danny is not ghost king#It’s not said outright but it can be Eternal Trio#The three of them are vibing in this other world after graduating college#And decided where they want to go next
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I think I need a “Kid Tim Drake gets kidnapped and held for ransom but his parents don’t even pick up the phone so now these criminals are like whelp, this kid is ours now. Sucks to suck.” Fic.
#Kidnapper: child neglect is no laughin’ matter. You shouldn’t be left alone for that long. You’re like 7#Tim: I’m 8…..#Kidnapper: point proven.#Tim: *stomach growls*#Kidnapper 2: when was that last time you ate kid?#Tim: *mumbles* 3 days ago…#Kidnapper 2: what do kids eat?#Kidnapper 1: I dunno? Like cheeseburgers?#Kidnapper 2: isn’t that a little unhealthy?#*they all end up getting bat burger*#Now Tim is a small super criminal but not actually bad#And raised by two kinda confused criminals who finally picked up a parenting book after accidentally adopting this tiny genius.#tim drake#red robin#batfam#ao3#fanfiction#writing#idk
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halfas are the found family trope foster child
they all adopt each other. it’s the reason Vlad wanted so badly to have Danny as his son and the reason Danny immediately went with sure you’re my cousin now with Dani. it’s a survival mechanism from being so very few of their species. Sooo, halfa!Jason except he sorta isn’t yet cause Jason’s core is extremely ruptured from the lack of ectoplasm involved in his forceful resurrection. So when Danny finds Jason in his catatonic state he can’t quite tell the dude’s been dead and remains some, just that the guy for some reason seems very friend-shaped. Danny doesn’t mind his friend is braindead, and is also a john doe, he gives familiar vibes and that’s apparently enough for Danny to constantly find himself in the hospital doing his engineering homework on the room with the guy, and talking for hours about the updates on the absolute clusterfuck of the city and how he was from a freaking ghost town and he can almost even draw comparisons. he blabbers about how he’s not homesick enough times to even corner himself to talk about a ghost lore many times and how he’s just finding himself a little more prone to violence and in constant pain since none of the people he has adopted as his family are here with him and he can’t consider a place a lair if there’s isn’t someone of his in it.
But Danny could never drag someone with him just because of some it, after all it was Danny’s choice to come to Gotham to collage and not stay where at least his parents (good parents Jack and Maddie) were in Amity.
Ironically, Danny essentially can’t feel that his core has been spoon feeding ectoplasm to Jason. As months go on, the little ball of energy builds in anticipation practically vibrating in the waiting pulse of something (Danny doesn’t know but more often than not has he found himself laughing in happy confusion. it weirds him out in a good way) It’s really that he’s feeling the slow healing process of his friend (brother brother brother) ‘s core.Imagine it’s just about to properly, correctly heal when canon strikes back and Jason gets snatched by League assassins. Danny is left feeling like his core got torned out. His core had spend months helping another’s only to feel the other’s imprint and to not be able to protect it in return is— forget it being an obsession; thats like having your newborn baby being ripped out of your arms. An all assuaging feeling of helplessness that is devastating. Danny just beginning to feel like home lair when out of nowhere the rug is swept under him. Danny suddenly struggling to not flunk all his classes and beat every single liminal that he can feel crossing paths with him to the ground. Danny suddenly having his chronic pain (that hadn’t been so bad lately) dialed up to the point that there are just bearable and bad days.
The worse thing is he doesn’t know why.
Jason had only been a guy.
…
It’s only a three weeks before Jazz tells him she accepted a job offer in Gotham.
(and the guilt only makes him feel worse when he can feel himself feel better because of it)
…
now
whimsical time skip ✨
Danny is now on his feet again and friends with a Wayne of your choice (or maybe they were friends a little before Jay dissapeared and it was badTM cause Waynes? liminal 🥲) Danny definitely didn’t enjoy snapping off to his friend like that. anyways it’s been a year since that and he and his friend are having a grand time playing civvies, uhh let’s say dick because I want them to meet while ice skating, Also Dick because he definitely turns a blind eye when Danny goes airborne for a second there yep. He’s just having too much fun.
anyways as alwaysTM Danny doesn’t clock celebrities and like why would he, Dick is just the random guy who’s was fast to turn Danny’s slow day in the ice ring into a competition one day and brighten when Danny matched up his puns. So he totally doesn’t get why the guy’s so gloomy one day, anyways as you can figure, it’s Jason’s deathday and Dick is a deprecating bean, Danny tries to cheer him up by having him remember his brother instead and Dick attempts to, but even skipping through some photos in his phone make his eyes burn.
It is because of that that he doesn’t notice Danny absolutely freeze up at the photo of his friend Jay (Jay because he’s a John Doe, but that’s just too impersonal and so the first letter is J *wink wink*)
Danny absolutely doesn’t know what to do with this information, barely catches himself from asking Dick how did his brother die. Most importantly when because Danny just saw Jay—Jason less than a year ago, and this somehow doesn’t feel too recent.
Annd that how we find Danny digging into the Wayne second son tragedy. Staring at the date of death while the knowledge that they met almost six months after burns his forefront of his mind. Danny spends a day going over all the questions running through his mind over how the fuck he couldn’t sense Jay was a ghost—err was… in past tense?? what the fuck?? Danny would really like a refund on his ghost sense.
Anyways Danny goes check out the grave (now that he knows there is one) and boom although intangible he somehow triggers those shitty ass sensors/alarms that somehow didn’t go off when jason was literally digging himself out.
Obviously the bats get in the case immediately. And boy are they absolutely enraged that someone would steal Jason’s body.
#the bats absolutely disgusted that someone would dare desacrate the grave of a dead child: 😡😡#meanwhile danny: :(where’s my friend#Jason is a sad bean who thinks no one even thinks of him#in this au they will>:)#I had a sense of where to go with this but it was all over the place honestly#i just also love the idea of them not finding him until he enters the stage as red hood and the bats just. clock him down so fast#like. omg Jason!! we’ve been searching everywhere!!!#proceed to tackle the fuck out of him with hugs 💕💕#jason’s worldview crumbles cuz#you guys noticed i got outta my grave 🥺??#obviously there’s still the replacement and joker’s still alive point but shhh#one thing at the time#danny fenton#jason todd#ghost cores#also yes the violence tendency was a wink to the pit madness#batman#red hood#dp x dc#also when all was resolved danny and dick would absolutely fight over who gets big brother privileges#danny: I adopted him when you didn’t even know he was alive#dick: yeah? well I adopted him when you didn’t even know he existed#danny: you Dick! you already have Tim#jason:#jason: uhh guys I’m a 2x1 package#(slides Damian into view)#Danny and Dick look at each other#Danny: you get one I get one?#Dick: No!#😔 dick just wants to gatekeep all his little brothers (he has secretly adopted Danny too)
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Bruce, not ready to wake up: Just five more…
Tim, bored, irritated, and sensing an opportunity to sow the seeds of chaos:
Tim: *races into the kitchen*
Tim: You guys will never believe what Bruce just said!
Damian: Well?
Duke: What did he say?
Steph: You can’t leave us hanging like that.
Tim: He said five MORE.
*collective gasp*
Steph: I had better not be one of those five.
Damian: Why does Father get to adopt five more children and I can not adopt five more cats? Cats are much easier to care for than people.
Tim, shrugging: I’m sure he’d be fine with it.
#Bruce later: where did all the cats come from#Tim: I have absolutely no idea#Dick: I can’t believe you adopted without telling me AGAIN#I leave you alone for THREE DAYS#Bruce thinking they’re still talking about the cats: it wasn’t me!#Dick: Oh so what#a stork dropped them off?#Bruce: Can a stork carry that much weight?#Tim: *sipping from his mug having the time of his life*#Dick: *still demanding answers*#Bruce: tuned out because now he’s calculating how much weight a stork could carry#and the air speed velocity of an unladen stork if you will#Jason and Cass: *walk in to see Bruce and Dick arguing about storks*#Jason: nope. I’m out#Cass to Jason: Yeah but we could get popcorn#tim drake#all the batkids are little chaos gremlins and you can’t convince me otherwise#batkids#bruce wayne and his serial adoption tendencies#batfam#bruce wayne#damian wayne#stephanie brown#duke thomas#dick grayson#cassandra cain#jason todd
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Ok u guys have me defending dc writers bc yeah it’s like. Overall not great with rep but imagine getting to write the newest member of the bat family - someone who doesn’t look like the others so you know know he’ll struggle but that’s ok bc kids like you deserve to know they can be heroes too. It’s ok that you’re not approved for so many titles, you have people who finally see themselves maybe making their own characters or expanding on yours and that’s enough for now. Maybe someone who was inspired by your story will write the next big hero, one that’s just like them, and maybe if we’re lucky it won’t even matter because there’ll be so many of us that have so many different personalities and aspirations and flaws and hopes and dreams that another hero will just be another hero, that it won’t be significant or important bc the market is not just saturated but even over saturated! And then fandommom69 says dc stands for disregard canon and makes ur character the normal one who’s perceived as innocent by the rest of the cast and subsequently cast aside.
#this started about Orpheus then morphed into Duke then I thought about Luke then it was back to Duke again#anyways the fact that this keeps happening is#imagine writing Jace ‘my name is not Timothy I’m not that person anymore’ fox and fandom says the first signs of queer coding in Batman was#tim drake#I’m so sick#oh and the entire time I was thinking of Lucius fox carrying Bruce on his back for a good chunk of time getting replaced by tim in the eyes#of fanon#the only tim is tired of everything and leaves the family fic I’ve ever enjoyed was one where he was adopted by Lucius#and I had to pretend he was black bc. thinking about the optics and implications of it all was sickening#are we ready to talk about the mammification of tam and how it’s insane considering tim infantilized her or#quite literally infantilizes btw she was a baby#I think it was the whole unternet shit#but u can’t remember if that actually had tam there or if I’m doing that thing where I group eras together#like any 90s and before teen titans comic is NTT#but anyways best tim suit sorry I’m basic#back to the point#wait I dislike the mask a little but#anyways whatever back to the point I’m siccckk
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Yk sometimes I wish I was like in the trenches there for the action while Marble Hornets was in production and being released…then I remember I was only 3 when the series started and 8 when it ended…
8 year old me was still reading adopted by slenderman fanfiction on QUOTEV…I wasn’t ready for Marble Hornets yet
#not trying to dis the creepypasta fandom or its fanfics at all#like cringe fanfiction is amazing I still read that shit!!#I’m just saying if 8 year old me watched Marble Hornets I would NOT have been able to comprehend it#i would have watched Entry 87 and then went on quotev and written a fanfic about Tim Brian Alex and Jay getting adopted by Slenderman#and it probs would have been mostly stolen bc 8 year old me didn’t understand plagerism either#marble hornets
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Look I love a good ‘dick aged down so he can have more of a sibling relationship with his brothers’ story but I desperately need more ‘canon ages and dick getting made fun of constantly for being old as dirt’ stories
#look jason and Dick canonically are about five years apart minimum#as the older brother with a four year age gap I’m practically retirement agr#Jason should be bullying Dick relentlessly the second he hits 20#and should keep it up once he’s back from the dead#(even though dick would’ve been barely 20 when Jason died)#Tim though? Tim’s got a 7-8 year age gap. same with stephanie#they’re out for lunch and the waiter asks if they’re siblings and steph goes “’He’s practically old enough to be my father!’#Dick can’t even complain that much because then steph just points out Bruce’s age when Dick was adopted#‘I was way too young to be a dad when you were born!’ ‘and how old was Bruce when you were born?’ ‘…point’#dick pulls a muscle on patrol and Tun sends him a list of retirement home#let’s not even get started on Damian#when they go out people sometimes assume dick is his bio father and dick has a crisis#man is suffering from ‘in my mid-late twenties’ disease#dick grayson#batfam#once again flooding my tags with more content than the actual post
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seeing someone who ships batcest deals psychic damage- I DONT MAKE THE RULES
#i saw a reblog and went to their account all innocent and click on one of their posts bc i loved their tags#i regret it#so much#TIM AND JASON WOULD NEVER GET TOGETHER WHAT ARE YOU THINKING#MAKES ME SICK WTF#seeing Bruce and Dick??? WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF#🤮🤮🤮🤮#anti batcest#DO YALL NOT HAVE SIBLINGS???#DO U FEEL SHAME???#being adopted doesn’t make any less of siblings and i don’t think the wrongness of that idea is addressed ENOUGH#i actually kinda take personal offense at that idea#i’m not adopts shut i have family members who are#and the idea that they’re less of family bc they’re adopted? it’s v upsetting to me#not to mention the fucking AGE GAPS AND ALL THE WRONGNESS IN GENERAL
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Batfamily fans are annoying because they hate Bruce, Batdad fans are annoying because they woobify or reduce Bruce, neither of them give a shit about the villains as the secondary main characters, nor Gotham as any atmospheric or thematic weight other than “backdrop city,” the main comic titles currently are catering so heavily to the weekly Twitter discourse it’s actually a real fucking problem, etc etc.
And then meanwhile I’m over here defending The Dark Knight Returns and trying to figure out what the hell to do with my realization I don’t give a fuck about Dick as Nightwing.
#If I had the gumption or the care to be more of an essay writer about Batman#I’d take a crack at trying to express how constantly reducing Robin to Batman’s CHILD is actually a little…#like yes he was Dick’s guardian#and yes he legally adopted Jason#and Tim#Damian’s his biological son etc etc#but the child fantasy of Robin is just as much being Batman’s best FRIEND as it is getting to drive the Batmobile as a 10-year-old#Robin and Batman are partners and they’re best fucking friends#and yes it’s a grown ass man treating a kid as his equal#because it’s FUN. and it’s fun best contrasted with the villains being the most HORRID fuckin’ people you have ever seen#just as Bruce/Batman needs to be a harmony between terrifying violence and unrelenting compassion#Batman and Robin need to be a balance of absolutely child’s logic and ultimate good vs Very Fuggin Scary evil#evil that’s Very Fuggin Scary and then meanwhile death traps and fights on giant memorabilia#and I’ve got wider issues with the ever expanding Batfamily#but I think reducing Bruce to this hyper anxious love lug of a Dad backing cookies for everybody as a defense against Batjerk takes#and what have you#is equally… not it.#I’m in a Batman mood ignore me.
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I love thisssss that last look they share!
the joyful feeling when you're stealth and you see people who are out in public :]
both harley and ivy are out of there cuffs already >:3c and bruce does follow up regarding the mayor afterwards
this is what these designs were for
#I’m very team Tim gets second adopted by Harley and Pamela#I think they would adore each other#Bruce suddenly realizing he’s sharing his son with two supervillains wait wut#harley x ivy#tim drake
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Whoops I accidentally found my will to write with a silly little au my friend and I made only it’s just little snippets of Bernard and Tim being parents while in their villain era (Tim is a Cobblepot, long story, Riddler accidentally brought home a stray), except their child has lightning powers and is also a Raiden clone from another world (again another long story, Liu Kang was making baby clones of the Kombatants but then Kitana caught him so he started yeeting them through worlds, Tim and Bernard wound up with Raiden and Jason actually adopted Kung Lao). And Tim kind of took after Oswald so he’s also running a club and doing a lot of business, shady or otherwise, making connections, etc. and Bernard runs the front of house for The Den (Tim’s club) so sometimes their son is there but he’s wearing a dragon costume so it’s fine, he’s like their mascot.
And it’s just my two favorite nerds doing their best to raise a child who has weird powers, but they have the support of their villain/murder family and Oswald and Ed/Riddler are proud grandparents and Steph is the favorite bi aunt and also godmother (and also Spoiler has become more like Red Hood these days. She’s realized being friends with Tim that things would never improve without getting your hands dirty. She kills people now, but mostly she just controls part of the city and helps Red Hood out. Also she’s dating Cassie/Wonder Girl but that’s not important.)
#ravenpuff rambles#it’s just anhhhhhhhh#the layers! the fucking layers to this au fuck!!!!!#I’m kind of upset the first motivation I get for writing I can only share with one person because no one else will get it#but also ahhhhh I love it so much!!! I love them so much#god murder family is fucking incredible I wish dc Twitter knew#like I wish y’all could see the beauty we’ve created#Having Tim stalk Riddler and accidentally get adopted instead of Batman was the best idea I’ve ever had#it’s become something incredible#Steph fans I hope you know she has a wonderful arc in this au#she was the third Robin instead of Tim#not so much because she wanted to at first but because Batman caught her doing her Spoiler shit and said it was too dangerous and insisted#on training her. you know so another child didn’t die on his watch.#she gets to be a part of Young Justice and one of their founding members#she’s even their leader partially because well Robin#that’s where she meets Cassie and after an enemies arc they become friends and then girlfriends#Also Steph and Tim fake date off and on for Years to fuck with Batman#they did actually date for almost a year before realizing they were better friends#but they’re best friends and ride or die.#fucking love Steph in this au and also in general#also good news she did still hit Tim with a brick the first time they met#If Riddler hadn’t been concerned about his child Steph absolutely would have died at that moment
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The bat kids should threaten to get adopted by Tim every time Bruce is being a dickhead or just an inconvenience in anyway shape or form. Tim is paranoid enough to have his foster license and probably overthinks it enough to have Gotham CPS under his control. (Some people are bribing the cops while this man is bribing CPS smh.)
And like when Bruce over steps, they’re like “ok then, Tim’s my new dad now. “ Then they go camp out at Tim’s place for a while.
Usually the younger ones (+Cass) do this but it’s even more hilarious when Dick and Jason catch on to this. I think that Jason would do it first tho
Like imagine if Bruce refused to give Jason money for ammo or smth:
Bruce, literally so tired bc of this: Jaylad, for the last time, I’m not giving you money to buy real bullets. I'd be happy to buy you the rubber ones.
Jason, the most extra, dramatic younger-sibling-turned-older-sibling: Ok then, I get it, you don’t love me anymore. I can take a hint. You know what? I’ll do you a favour and get myself adopted by Tim *cue fake sniffles and dramatic exit*
Bruce, so so tired this has happened like twenty times this week already and it’s Wednesday: Oh my god why does he keep stealing my kids what the fuck
Tim also has no concept of money so he just shrugs, hands them his black amex and lets them do whatever the fuck they want
#batman#bruce wayne#tim drake#dcu#jason todd#red robin#dick grayson#batfam headcanons#incorrect batfamily quotes#batfam#red hood
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UNO Reverse
So we all know Danny is batbait right?? But what if after vlad the fentons have developed a method to combat billionaires trying to adopt Danny.
So the fentons are in Gotham for some reason or another and they refuse the let Danny’s grades slip so they have him at Gotham prep.
Everyone knows Danny’s parents are mad scientists but Tim is really concerned about his new classmate that keeps coming in with new bruises everyday that he barely tries to hide.
He brings it up to Bruce after doing some investigations and Bruce decides to look into it.
Next thing Danny knows he keeps running into different members of the Wayne cult and the batfamily. It takes him longer than he’s care to admit to figure out they were the same people but in his defense he was exhausted from school, helping his parents with their clean energy project and training with fright knight.
That’s also his excuse for why it took him so long to realize they were trying to assimilate him. Once he does realize he starts going out of his way to avoid them, trying his best to keep his parents from finding out but he realizes it’s too late when his mom gleefully hands him a card one night and sends him on his way.
The next time danny encounters Batman he completely ignores his gentle encouragement and promises to protect him as he pulls out the card and throws it at batman.
Danny sighs and says “I’m sorry it’s come to this, but I need you to know you’ve brought this upon yourselves.” He turns and leaves behind a confused bat holding an UNO reverse card.
The next day Wayne manor is invaded by Jack Fenton carrying a stuggleing vlad over his shoulder and a giant tray of fudge in his other hand while Maddie gleefully hugs alfred proclaiming how happy she is to see her family getting bigger while Jazz is dragging Danny in behind her by his ankle while reading a book. Danny is snoring.
The Wayne’s are confused.
When Vlad finally breaks free he gives Bruce a pitiful look and asks if he also tried to adopt Daniel.
Jack then yells UNO REVERSE!! Instead of adopting Danny we have adopted you!!!!
This just popped in my brain so I thought I’d share
#danny phantom#ghost king danny#dc x dp#danny fenton#bruce wayne#batfam#good fenton parents#uno reverse#writing promt#brain vomit
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YOU CANT HIDE GOLD IN THE TAGS
Danny and Ellie had majorly screwed up. Now here they were in the hydro-electric car Danny had designed for applying to Wayne industries/whoever would give a fifteen year old a fat paycheck, sitting in the middle of Gotham, at night, surrounded by glaring bats.
Crap.
Time to bullshit his way out of this.
He looked at Red Robin and sheepishly grinned, "...hi dad."
Ellie, the little gremlin, didn't even hesitate before adding, "We are so grounded. I told you we shouldn't have messed with the broken time machine but nooo."
The bats were either taken about or cackling and Danny to this chance to put the petal to the metal and get out of there
Tim is now obsessed with finding his future kids.
#dpxdc#oh shit the potential I love this#oh my god can you imagine??#their time travel shenanigans can’t be disproved because there’s evidence of Danny and eventually Ellie#just showing up in random places every century or so#because let’s be honest#look me in the eyes and tell me the bats wouldn’t find out Tim’s future kids can color change as SOON as they started actually investigating#the kids aren’t subtle#Danny and Ellie act confused when the bats try to lecture them about secret identities and civilian names in the field#Danny: but all of my rouges know who I am?? they know who everyone is#of course#Danny is implying that a whole bunch of future supervillains who sound like world ending threats just casually know who the Batfamily is irl#what Danny MEANS is that all his ghost buddies know his family and friends personally but also yes they know who every superhero is#they’re ghosts#what use are secrets among the dead?#somehow the ‘I’m a ghost’ part is skipped though and everyone is ragging on Tim for raising his kids so poorly#Tim just wants to sob in a corner from the early grey hairs but can’t because his two new kids have been wearing the same clothes for a week#pLEASE LET HIM HELP YOU DANNY#HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU OWN A TOOTHBRUSH#after a particularly stressful night chasing the hellions#Tim catches up and is so exhausted dick has to do the talking for him#Ellie who is very much not listening: oh so THATS where that grey hair came from! good to know!#Danny: huh. he always told us it was from that death diving trip in Cuba#Tim: just strike me down whenever you’re ready God#Dan is Tim’s future kid from all of those ‘Tim becomes evil’ timelines#Jazz is now Barbara’s kid who was adopted by Tim (‘what do you mean adopted? WHAT HAPPENED TO BARBARA??’)#clockwork feeds the chaos by spawning in those sticky notes whenever the kids get in a pinch with advice on how to fix things#bats ask who CW is and they blurt out ‘Grandpa’#now everyone is giving the side eye to both Tim AND Bruce
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It’s been months since he’s settled into life at Wayne Manor. It’s hilarious that they don’t think he knows about their obvious nightlife (and that’s coming from someone whose hero name was just their last name spelled differently) but they don’t know anything about his own past as a vigilante. To be fair, a dimensionally displaced Ghost King wasn’t really on the board for reasonable guesses. Danny Fenton blinked innocently at Duke, blue eyes watery and oh-so-trusting of his adopted older brother when Duke claimed that his bruising came from getting caught in Ivy’s attack on the busses today.
(“Oh my god he’s so trusting and pure what the hell?” He heard Steph whisper to Dick, who nodded emphatically.)
“Oh man, you should get some rest. You guys are seriously unlucky, you know? Do you need to go to the hospital?” Danny asked Duke, his core trilling as he allowed himself to fuss over a member of his ‘fraid.
“Nah, man. I’m good. I think I’ll take a nap and sleep it off.”
“Okay. Oh, here!” Danny fumbled for his bag, grabbing his prescribed pain meds- for his chronic pain, but they don’t actually do anything for him since his ectoplasm burns away most of it- and handed it to Duke. “Take one, and only one. Those bruises look nasty.”
And then Danny gave him the puppy dog eyes and Duke folded, because Danny knew that he wasn’t supposed to hand his meds out but these situations were kind of the reason he claimed chronic pain to being with (even if it was true and his hands shook with aftershocks).
“Thanks, Danny. I feel like death warmed over.”
Danny laughed, the opportunity to mess with the family sparking in his head. “Yeah, I’ve died before. Wouldn’t recommend it.”
With that, Danny threw Duke an easy going smile and walked towards his room, bag on his back.
From his peripherals, Danny watched Jason drop his bowl of snacks, Dick’s pale face, and the concerned and shocked look of everyone else. Except Damian, who just kind of scowled thoughtfully. Tim looked like he was going to rip Danny apart like an interesting puzzle, Cass sat up straight (and he made sure every micro expression he caught on others stayed unconcerned on his own body), and Duke froze.
He snickered- well out of regular earshot- as whispers and whispered shouts rung out after he left the room.
He can’t wait to drop the “I know you’re vigilantes” bomb on them. It’ll be hilarious.
#danny phantom#dc x dp#tim drake#dick grayson#duke thomas#Danny is ghost king#Danny messes with the bat fam by trauma dumping#he’s like I’ll drop lore as a prank#but he actually got attached and is sharing trauma as a form of trust#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#those baby blues#Danny uses puppy dog eyes#it’s super effective#they think he’s the most normal#they’re (heh) dead wrong
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The idea of the batkids scaring Bruce with “a new grandchild” to only show an animal is so funny to me, because imagine Bruce is so used to it that when Jason wants to introduce him to his new grandchild Bruce almost falls out of his chair when there’s an ACTUAL KID!
Dick: You’re a granddaddy now Brucie!!!
Bruce: WHAT?!? Who?? When??? How??? Actually don’t tell me how. Who is she??? When did she give birth???
Dick: What? No, meet my kid *holds up a cat* her name is biscuit and shes the love of my life!
—
Steph: Cass and I are adopting…
Bruce: Holy shit, actually???
Cass: Yes, it was a tough choice, but we want to adopt
Bruce: Do you need any help with paperwork and stuff? It’s kinda my thing. Also consider the fact that you might be too young.
Steph: Too young…?
Bruce: Yes, I mean you’re only in your 20’s, are you sure you can handle a kid?
Cass: Too young for an iguana?
—
Damian: It happened again, I have a kid.
Bruce: What do you mean AGAIN?!?
Damian: This is my second kid, duh
Bruce: Are you talking about goats?
Damian: Of course I am father
—
Tim: BRUCE YOU’RE GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!!!
Bruce: Tim I didn’t think I was going to have to tell you this again after the whole thing with Stephanie, but just kissing someone doesn’t get them pregnant
Tim:
Bruce: Is it a dog?
Tim: No it’s a tiger
—
Jason: I have something to tell you
Bruce(not looking up from his paperwork): Okay, what’s up?
Jason: I have a kid, I want you to meet your granddaughter
Bruce: I can’t possibly imagine what type of animal you’ve gotten, but I’d love to meet her
Jason: What the hell are you talking about?
Bruce (looking up to see an actual child): You actually have a kid????
Jason: Yeah, Roy and I thought it was time I adopted Lian
Lian: Hi Grandpa!!!
Bruce: I’m going to faint, grab me some ice will you?
#this has been sitting in my drafts for months now all because i didnt want to tag it#my adhd kicked in#i wrote it all in one go then decided i had better things to do than tags#then i reread it multiple times and decided therr are better things to do than tags#but its just so silly so im manning up and doing it!#here are my awful half alseep tags#that was it#bruce wayne#batman#jason todd#roy harper#damian wayne#tim drake#dick grayson#lian nguyen harper#jason is lians dad obviously#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#stephcass#dc comics#dcu#dc#batkids#man i love batman
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