#Tim: I’m not getting adopted
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puppetmaster13u · 1 year ago
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Prompt 334
So. Danny has discovered he might erm, might be technically a necromancer. At least as far as magic is concerned. Like even if it’s just via resurrecting himself the magic side of things (god, he’s more scientist- sided dangit) count it as such. 
Which means that half the time someone tries to summon a necromancing-esque being, he’s the one who gets tugged if he’s even a centimeter within range. It was annoying enough in high school, it’s no less annoying in this world they’ve all moved to. 
On the bright side, thanks to also being half dead himself, the summonings and other rituals can’t actually drag him somewhere. It just causes him to feel like someone was crushing a lung or two, which honestly nothing new. (Gosh were those days of vigilante work really that violent? Huh, guess they were)
What he wasn’t expecting was for a tiny child, a living child, to track him down despite him not existing legally or anything similar in this world, to revive their previous local child vigilante. Which like, hey, first of all, he has a few questions? Just a couple and yeah sure, he’ll shake on it- can he have your name first there kid…? 
Tim, on the other hand, is getting a little concerned when he realizes a lot of the questions the probable-fae keeps asking are in line with the stuff CPS asks. (Unknown to him, that is exactly where Danny is getting several of his questions about this scrawny vigilante kid. Erm. He might have to take the kid, for like, his own safety- hey Frostbite he needs your help he has some questions-) 
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azrail-has-a-vendetta · 10 months ago
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I think I need a “Kid Tim Drake gets kidnapped and held for ransom but his parents don’t even pick up the phone so now these criminals are like whelp, this kid is ours now. Sucks to suck.” Fic.
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methoughtsphantom · 11 months ago
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halfas are the found family trope foster child
they all adopt each other. it’s the reason Vlad wanted so badly to have Danny as his son and the reason Danny immediately went with sure you’re my cousin now with Dani. it’s a survival mechanism from being so very few of their species. Sooo, halfa!Jason except he sorta isn’t yet cause Jason’s core is extremely ruptured from the lack of ectoplasm involved in his forceful resurrection. So when Danny finds Jason in his catatonic state he can’t quite tell the dude’s been dead and remains some, just that the guy for some reason seems very friend-shaped. Danny doesn’t mind his friend is braindead, and is also a john doe, he gives familiar vibes and that’s apparently enough for Danny to constantly find himself in the hospital doing his engineering homework on the room with the guy, and talking for hours about the updates on the absolute clusterfuck of the city and how he was from a freaking ghost town and he can almost even draw comparisons. he blabbers about how he’s not homesick enough times to even corner himself to talk about a ghost lore many times and how he’s just finding himself a little more prone to violence and in constant pain since none of the people he has adopted as his family are here with him and he can’t consider a place a lair if there’s isn’t someone of his in it.
But Danny could never drag someone with him just because of some it, after all it was Danny’s choice to come to Gotham to collage and not stay where at least his parents (good parents Jack and Maddie) were in Amity.
Ironically, Danny essentially can’t feel that his core has been spoon feeding ectoplasm to Jason. As months go on, the little ball of energy builds in anticipation practically vibrating in the waiting pulse of something (Danny doesn’t know but more often than not has he found himself laughing in happy confusion. it weirds him out in a good way) It’s really that he’s feeling the slow healing process of his friend (brother brother brother) ‘s core.Imagine it’s just about to properly, correctly heal when canon strikes back and Jason gets snatched by League assassins. Danny is left feeling like his core got torned out. His core had spend months helping another’s only to feel the other’s imprint and to not be able to protect it in return is— forget it being an obsession; thats like having your newborn baby being ripped out of your arms. An all assuaging feeling of helplessness that is devastating. Danny just beginning to feel like home lair when out of nowhere the rug is swept under him. Danny suddenly struggling to not flunk all his classes and beat every single liminal that he can feel crossing paths with him to the ground. Danny suddenly having his chronic pain (that hadn’t been so bad lately) dialed up to the point that there are just bearable and bad days.
The worse thing is he doesn’t know why.
Jason had only been a guy.
It’s only a three weeks before Jazz tells him she accepted a job offer in Gotham.
(and the guilt only makes him feel worse when he can feel himself feel better because of it)
now
whimsical time skip ✨
Danny is now on his feet again and friends with a Wayne of your choice (or maybe they were friends a little before Jay dissapeared and it was badTM cause Waynes? liminal 🥲) Danny definitely didn’t enjoy snapping off to his friend like that. anyways it’s been a year since that and he and his friend are having a grand time playing civvies, uhh let’s say dick because I want them to meet while ice skating, Also Dick because he definitely turns a blind eye when Danny goes airborne for a second there yep. He’s just having too much fun.
anyways as alwaysTM Danny doesn’t clock celebrities and like why would he, Dick is just the random guy who’s was fast to turn Danny’s slow day in the ice ring into a competition one day and brighten when Danny matched up his puns. So he totally doesn’t get why the guy’s so gloomy one day, anyways as you can figure, it’s Jason’s deathday and Dick is a deprecating bean, Danny tries to cheer him up by having him remember his brother instead and Dick attempts to, but even skipping through some photos in his phone make his eyes burn.
It is because of that that he doesn’t notice Danny absolutely freeze up at the photo of his friend Jay (Jay because he’s a John Doe, but that’s just too impersonal and so the first letter is J *wink wink*)
Danny absolutely doesn’t know what to do with this information, barely catches himself from asking Dick how did his brother die. Most importantly when because Danny just saw Jay—Jason less than a year ago, and this somehow doesn’t feel too recent.
Annd that how we find Danny digging into the Wayne second son tragedy. Staring at the date of death while the knowledge that they met almost six months after burns his forefront of his mind. Danny spends a day going over all the questions running through his mind over how the fuck he couldn’t sense Jay was a ghost—err was… in past tense?? what the fuck?? Danny would really like a refund on his ghost sense.
Anyways Danny goes check out the grave (now that he knows there is one) and boom although intangible he somehow triggers those shitty ass sensors/alarms that somehow didn’t go off when jason was literally digging himself out.
Obviously the bats get in the case immediately. And boy are they absolutely enraged that someone would steal Jason’s body.
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unforgivingchorus · 3 months ago
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I’ve been deconstructing my ideas of Tim to separate fanon from canon for the purpose of my solo run idea. What do you mean Batman calling him Jason was a canon event. I understand fanon has a basis in canon but I thought that was a development of fanon maybe. Eye is twitching I’m bringing back all of my deconstructed emotional disconnected mentor Batman thoughts
#aimeespeaks#tim drake#red robin#I have said that in my backstory rewrite he’s just a sever latchkey kid case and there is no criminal neglect as in fanon#but I’ve also said Janet will be really a complicated character (it’s what she deserves)#and although I’ve not really talked about Jack he remains as he was for a lot of time original Robin run#extremely emotionally disconnected#like he’s not abused or neglected but going back to one of the three core aspects of my run#which is 1. why is he a vigilante 2. who is he and 3. the mental illness he has#and like it connects to all of it#his childhood is such a heavy focus cause it shapes he’s need to be not only useful but also emotionally dependable#and how those two needs play into why he is who he is#(I will get back to this but it largely comes back (to me this is lore I’m creating and one day will make canon if I can) (Janet deserves#to be a real character)#and like. unfortunately this really helps actually cause it bridges the gaps between his childhood and present with a blaring sign that#is his Robin years#I will largely skip over them and I don’t ever plan to address it#but my iteration of Tim does not see Batman as a father#he doesn’t want a dad who’s not his dad#his parents died when he was old enough that adoption wouldn’t ever really be considered the option emotionally#so he’s not like dick (who btw although he has a parental relationship with b never is adopted and that’s a seperate can of worms)#and he loved his parents who although emotionally u healthy genuinely loved and cared for him#(not like Jason. also he comes after Jason the only son Batman like set out to father (b4 bio Damian) (and don’t even get me started on#cass)#that’s not his dad that is one man in a line of emotionally unavailable mentors#(I have also not gotten into how entrenched in academia Tim was growing up with Janet (it’s never really implied he spent lots of time#around his parents buisness so. I’ll get into this later)#like a Batman who is canonically and unfortunately deeply emotionally unavailable and who is overall very unintreseted in a new Robin is.#so perfect for a child who had to develop extreme levels of emotional intelligence and independence young (aided by being a genius)#as a way to understand his mothers love
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thevioletcaptain · 2 months ago
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people of tumblr acting like the season finale went full ship-seeking torpedo when EYE saw eddie tell buck "i'm right in front of you" while buck gazed at him in heart-eyed awe before leaping toward him across what seemed like an insurmountable distance 😌
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number1jaymerrickhater · 2 years ago
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Yk sometimes I wish I was like in the trenches there for the action while Marble Hornets was in production and being released…then I remember I was only 3 when the series started and 8 when it ended…
8 year old me was still reading adopted by slenderman fanfiction on QUOTEV…I wasn’t ready for Marble Hornets yet
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damnianalghulnotwayne · 2 years ago
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seeing someone who ships batcest deals psychic damage- I DONT MAKE THE RULES
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definitelysome1 · 2 months ago
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Tim (with a sigh): it’s my birthday today…
Jason: yeah, I know. I put a gift on your dining table this morning
Tim: ?!??!!??????!?
Jason: why the fuck do you look so confused?
Tim: no one has remembered my birthday since I was seven. I don’t even tell people my birthday anymore because they aren’t going to remember anyway
Jason: ?!!?!???!???
Jason: what the actual fuck
Tim: what?
Jason: not even goldie?? Or cas? Or Steph???
Tim: oh. Well, Dick always gets the date wrong and Steph never asked. I assume it’s because she thinks I don’t want to celebrate because no one ever tries to.
Jason: and Cas?
Tim: I think she knows, but she’s always been away on my birthday
Jason: what about your team? The speedster and the supers? Don’t they remember???
Tim: I’ve never told them
Jason: I-
Jason: did Bruce ever officially adopt you, or are you still emancipated?
Tim: he was going to, but then he disappeared and we never talked about it again, why?
Jason: I’m adopting you and then we’ll celebrate 10 birthdays to make up for the ones you’ve missed.
Tim:???!??!???
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timdrakealways17 · 5 months ago
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Baby Tim Au where everything is the same but Tim is a baby Bruce adopts
—-
Dick: you adopt younger and younger, Bruce
Bruce, holding baby Tim and gently rocking him in his arms: a nice break from teenagers
Dick: I was a lovely teenager
Bruce: Alfred would beg to differ
—-
Jason gets revived
Jason: Bruce training babies is an all time low for you
Bruce, letting Tim crawl around on his play mat in the batcave: You can just ask to hold him Jason, you don’t need to try and convince me
Jason: I see..
Jason doesn’t out Tim down for almost three hours
—-
Alfred enjoys having a baby around, mainly because Tim is such a quiet child. It’s common to see Alfred cleaning the manor with Tim close by quietly watching.
—-
One day Bruce is called to a justice meeting and is forced to put a baby carrier over his batsuit and bring Tim,
Superman: Can I get a photo? Lois and me had a bet going to see how long it would be until you had a baby
Batman: I’m not even going to respond to that
Wonder Woman: I shall bless him with the gift of this sword.
Batman: that is *not* baby proof.
Green arrow: my friend Bruce-
Batman: meeting over i’m going home.
—-
Case and point Baby Tim is well loved.
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depressnt · 2 years ago
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YOU CANT HIDE GOLD IN THE TAGS
Danny and Ellie had majorly screwed up. Now here they were in the hydro-electric car Danny had designed for applying to Wayne industries/whoever would give a fifteen year old a fat paycheck, sitting in the middle of Gotham, at night, surrounded by glaring bats.
Crap.
Time to bullshit his way out of this.
He looked at Red Robin and sheepishly grinned, "...hi dad."
Ellie, the little gremlin, didn't even hesitate before adding, "We are so grounded. I told you we shouldn't have messed with the broken time machine but nooo."
The bats were either taken about or cackling and Danny to this chance to put the petal to the metal and get out of there
Tim is now obsessed with finding his future kids.
#dpxdc#oh shit the potential I love this#oh my god can you imagine??#their time travel shenanigans can’t be disproved because there’s evidence of Danny and eventually Ellie#just showing up in random places every century or so#because let’s be honest#look me in the eyes and tell me the bats wouldn’t find out Tim’s future kids can color change as SOON as they started actually investigating#the kids aren’t subtle#Danny and Ellie act confused when the bats try to lecture them about secret identities and civilian names in the field#Danny: but all of my rouges know who I am?? they know who everyone is#of course#Danny is implying that a whole bunch of future supervillains who sound like world ending threats just casually know who the Batfamily is irl#what Danny MEANS is that all his ghost buddies know his family and friends personally but also yes they know who every superhero is#they’re ghosts#what use are secrets among the dead?#somehow the ‘I’m a ghost’ part is skipped though and everyone is ragging on Tim for raising his kids so poorly#Tim just wants to sob in a corner from the early grey hairs but can’t because his two new kids have been wearing the same clothes for a week#pLEASE LET HIM HELP YOU DANNY#HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU OWN A TOOTHBRUSH#after a particularly stressful night chasing the hellions#Tim catches up and is so exhausted dick has to do the talking for him#Ellie who is very much not listening: oh so THATS where that grey hair came from! good to know!#Danny: huh. he always told us it was from that death diving trip in Cuba#Tim: just strike me down whenever you’re ready God#Dan is Tim’s future kid from all of those ‘Tim becomes evil’ timelines#Jazz is now Barbara’s kid who was adopted by Tim (‘what do you mean adopted? WHAT HAPPENED TO BARBARA??’)#clockwork feeds the chaos by spawning in those sticky notes whenever the kids get in a pinch with advice on how to fix things#bats ask who CW is and they blurt out ‘Grandpa’#now everyone is giving the side eye to both Tim AND Bruce
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thedevilundercover · 1 year ago
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The bat kids should threaten to get adopted by Tim every time Bruce is being a dickhead or just an inconvenience in anyway shape or form. Tim is paranoid enough to have his foster license and probably overthinks it enough to have Gotham CPS under his control. (Some people are bribing the cops while this man is bribing CPS smh.)
And like when Bruce over steps, they’re like “ok then, Tim’s my new dad now. “ Then they go camp out at Tim’s place for a while.
Usually the younger ones (+Cass) do this but it’s even more hilarious when Dick and Jason catch on to this. I think that Jason would do it first tho
Like imagine if Bruce refused to give Jason money for ammo or smth:
Bruce, literally so tired bc of this: Jaylad, for the last time, I’m not giving you money to buy real bullets. I'd be happy to buy you the rubber ones.
Jason, the most extra, dramatic younger-sibling-turned-older-sibling: Ok then, I get it, you don’t love me anymore. I can take a hint. You know what? I’ll do you a favour and get myself adopted by Tim *cue fake sniffles and dramatic exit*
Bruce, so so tired this has happened like twenty times this week already and it’s Wednesday: Oh my god why does he keep stealing my kids what the fuck
Tim also has no concept of money so he just shrugs, hands them his black amex and lets them do whatever the fuck they want
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zhelin-thames · 7 months ago
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Bruce has another kid........but this one is not adopted #2
Danny lounged on the couch in the Batcave, his feet propped up as he casually flipped through some of Bruce’s files. Damian stood nearby, arms crossed, scowling.
“It doesn’t matter,” Damian huffed. “I am Father’s heir. It is my birthright.”
Danny smirked, glancing at him over the top of the tablet. “Hate to break it to you, little bro, but I’m older. By all of three minutes, but hey, it still counts.”
“You have no proof,” Damian snapped, his voice sharp.
“Actually,” Tim interjected, walking in with a file in hand, “it’s right here. Clockwork dropped the records off yesterday. Danny’s technically the firstborn.”
Damian’s face twisted into a mix of shock and outrage. “This is preposterous! I trained for years in the League to be the heir. He—” Damian gestured at Danny, who was now grinning smugly, “—is a half-ghost nomad raised by peasants!”
“Whoa, peasants?” Danny said, holding up his hands. “I’ll have you know I was raised by two highly educated ghost hunters who built portals to alternate dimensions in their basement. So technically, I was raised by nerds.”
Jason, leaning against the wall, barked out a laugh. “This just keeps getting better.”
Things escalated when Danielle made her debut in Gotham. She’d been causing a bit of chaos in Amity Park, and Danny figured bringing her to the Manor might help her channel her energy.
When Dani strutted into the Batcave, grinning like a gremlin with her wild energy, the reactions were... mixed.
“She’s my clone,” Danny explained, his tone casual. “But I kinda see her more like a daughter.”
“Daughter?” Damian repeated, his voice low and dangerous. “You... have a daughter?”
Dani, ever the instigator, threw her arms around Danny’s waist. “Yup! My Dad’s the best!” she chirped, shooting a cheeky grin at Damian. “He’s way cooler than you, by the way.”
Damian bristled, his hands curling into fists. “You’re barely older than me, yet you have already claimed an heir?” His voice trembled with a mix of indignation and something close to panic.
Danny raised an eyebrow. “She’s not an ‘heir.’ She’s just... Dani. And technically, she’s my clone, not my biological kid. It’s complicated.”
But Damian was already lost in his own spiraling thoughts.
Late that night, Damian approached Jason. “Todd,” he said, his tone serious. “I require your assistance.”
Jason blinked. “Uh, with what?”
“I must find a suitable candidate to bear my child.”
Jason stared at him for a long moment before bursting into laughter. “You’re joking. Please tell me you’re joking.”
“I am not,” Damian replied, his expression unyielding. “If Daniel has already produced a successor, then I must act swiftly to secure my own lineage.”
Jason clutched his stomach, wheezing. “Oh, man, this is rich. Demon Spawn wants to have a baby just to one-up his ghost brother.”
“It is not a matter of one-upmanship,” Damian insisted, though the faint pink tinge in his cheeks said otherwise.
The next morning, Danny caught wind of Damian’s... ambition. He found his younger twin in the training room, furiously sparring with a practice dummy.
“Hey, Dames,” Danny said, leaning against the doorframe.
“Do not call me that,” Damian growled, landing a particularly vicious strike on the dummy.
Danny held up his hands. “Okay, okay. But I heard a little rumor. Something about you wanting to, uh, find a lady to have a kid with?”
Damian froze mid-strike, then turned to glare at Danny. “Who told you that?”
Danny smirked. “Doesn’t matter. Look, man, you don’t need to go all ‘League heir’ about this. Dani’s not my biological kid. She’s a clone. Like, literally made from my DNA. I didn’t exactly sign up for the whole ‘parent’ thing—it just kinda happened.”
Damian’s glare softened slightly, though his posture remained stiff. “And yet, you claim her as your own.”
“Yeah, because she’s family,” Danny said simply. “She needed someone, so I stepped up. That’s what family does.”
Damian lowered his gaze, his fists unclenching. “I see.”
A few weeks later, Talia’s clone assassins made their move. But instead of eliminating them, Damian captured and brought them to the Manor.
“Father,” he declared, standing proudly before Bruce, “I have decided to take responsibility for these clones. They are my family, and I will train them to uphold the legacy of the League.”
Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “Damian—”
“Not bad, kid,” Jason said, clapping him on the back. “But you might want to workshop the pitch. Sounds a little murder-y.”
Tim groaned. “Great. Now we have more mini-Damians running around.”
Danny, watching from the sidelines with Dani by his side, couldn’t help but laugh. “Guess I’m rubbing off on him.”
“You think he’s doing this to one-up you?” Dani asked.
“Absolutely,” Danny replied, grinning. “And I love it.”
While the Bat-family adjusted to the sudden influx of clones, Danny and Damian’s relationship began to shift. Though their rivalry remained, it was tempered by a growing mutual respect.
“I still do not approve of your cavalier attitude,” Damian said one night as they patrolled Gotham together.
“And I still think you need to loosen up,” Danny shot back.
Damian huffed but didn’t argue. Deep down, he was starting to appreciate having an older brother who wasn’t afraid to challenge him—or support him.
And for Danny, seeing his once-distant twin slowly open up was worth all the sibling squabbles in the world.
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rosemaryhoney27 · 2 months ago
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Gotham's Sunshine Child Part 2
Bruce Wayne had received eight adoption petitions. Handwritten. Sloppy but heartfelt.
One came from an elementary school teacher, another from a soup kitchen volunteer. A barista. A retired GCPD officer. A florist. Even a gang member. The wording varied, but the message was the same: Please give Danny Fenton a better life.
Bruce looked into it. Of course he did. And what he found made his jaw clench.
No living with relatives. No guardian listed. No social services contact. No permanent address. Just Danny. Alone.
Except… not really alone. He had Gotham.
They tried, of course. Bruce, Dick, Tim, Jason, even Alfred. They tried to bring him in. They offered him food, a place to stay, clothes, connections, money.
Every time, Danny smiled, thanked them… and slipped away before they could get too close.
“I’m good, really,” he’d say. “There are others who need it more. I’m just passing through.”
Only he wasn’t.
Weeks became months. Danny became a fixture in the city.
A study group in the Narrows, where he helped struggling kids prep for their GEDs.
A rooftop garden in Park Row, planted with the help of reformed ex-cons.
He even worked out a deal with a local clinic to get free first aid supplies and bandages for alley kids who didn’t trust hospitals.
All the while, never asking for anything in return.
And Gotham loved him for it.
One night, Bruce finally cornered him on the roof of the Gotham Public Library.
“Why?” Bruce asked, no cowl, just Bruce Wayne and the boy who had baffled his entire family.
Danny stared up at the sky for a long moment before answering.
“I spent a long time in a place where no one believed I was worth saving,” he said softly. “I got out. Now I want to make sure no one else feels like that.”
Bruce said nothing for a moment. Then, quietly: “You don’t have to do it alone.”
Danny smiled at him. Not his usual cheerful grin—this one was softer, quieter.
“I know. But I think Gotham already made that decision for me.”
And so Gotham’s Sunshine stayed.
Not a vigilante.
Not a hero with a cape.
Just a boy with a battered backpack, a stitched-up hoodie, and a heart too big for his own good.
And the city—the cold, bitter, brutal city of Gotham—wrapped its shadows around him like armor and said: He’s ours. Touch him and die.
Even the Bats knew better than to argue with that.
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jellyfishsthings · 1 month ago
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Miscommunication is key
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WARNINGS: funny miscommunication, the kids love you (maybe a bit too much)
requests are open
dividers by @cafekitsune
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It started, as all catastrophes in the Manor did, with eavesdropping.
Tim was in the hallway, allegedly “cleaning the thermostat” (read: tweaking the heat setting so Steph would stop stealing his hoodies), when he heard voices coming from Bruce’s office. Your voice. And Bruce’s.
Tim had no idea what the argument was actually about. Something about boundaries? Trust? Printer ink? But the tension in your tone made his stomach clench. When Bruce said, “Maybe we need to take a step back,” Tim’s heart dropped.
He called an emergency family meeting in the Batcave.
“Dad and Mom are getting divorced.”
Jason looked up from his sandwich. “They’re not even married.”
“Details!” Tim cried, pacing like a war general. “We could still be split up! This is how it starts. A little coldness, a few missed dinners, then boom—visitation schedules and emotional trauma.”
Dick blinked. “Do we... get split up?”
“Technically, no,” Damian said. “We’re all legally tied to Father. Except for Jason and Stephanie.”
“What happens to us?!”
“Don’t panic,” Steph said, reading from her tablet. “Worst case scenario, we stage a legal rebellion and declare the manor a sovereign child-state.”
“Or,” Tim said, eyes wide, “we get adopted. By Mom.”
Silence.
Then chaos.
“She’d never say no to me,” Dick said confidently.
“I’ll bribe her with cookies,” Jason offered.
Damian narrowed his eyes. “I call emotional manipulation.”
Cass held up a whiteboard: Why not all of us?
So it was decided: Operation Adoption began at dawn.
They convened in the attic. Because the Batcave was under Bruce’s territory, and this was neutral ground.
Dick paced.
Damian sharpened a pencil aggressively.
Cass ate grapes and watched everyone like she was waiting for someone to cry.
Stephanie had already made t-shirts. “Team Mom 4 Lyfe.”
"We need a plan," Tim said, eyes red from Googling "how to stop a divorce you caused by being a messy adult child."
Jason held up a sheet of paper. “What if we ask her to adopt us?”
Dead silence.
Damian blinked. “You mean legally abandon Father?”
Jason shrugged. “It’s called strategic custody realignment.”
Phase One: Woo the Parent
You found your morning coffee already made.
By lunch, your office had been vacuumed, your planner color-coded, and a tray of Damian’s surprisingly excellent macarons appeared on your desk. Something was clearly up.
Dick followed you around like a golden retriever. “You look radiant today. New serum? Or just naturally ageless?”
“You want something,” you said flatly.
“Who, me?” he asked, wounded. “I’m just basking in the presence of my favorite future legal guardian.”
You blinked. “What?”
Jason appeared in the doorway. “Can I interest you in... a bribe?” He held up an embarrassing baby photo of Bruce in a sailor outfit.
“Jason—”
“Don’t make us pick sides in the fake divorce!”
“What fake divorce?!”
“Mom” Steph said, slipping in dramatically, “we’re prepared to make a case. Visitation is a nightmare, and you make the best pancakes. We’ve chosen you. Please accept custody of all emotionally damaged gremlins present.”
You stared at the room of hopeful, slightly unhinged faces.
“Did Bruce put you up to this?”
“Not unless he’s also asking for custody of Alfred,” Tim muttered.
Then Tim slid to you a small note, like they did in those spy movies he liked,  that said "Meet us in the living room in five"
Phase Two: The Pitch
The moment you entered the living room, the lights dimmed.
“Hello?”
Dick dropped from the ceiling.
Literally.
“Hi,” he said cheerfully, landing in a perfect split. “Can we talk?”
All five of them appeared like spirits of guilt, blocking your path to the kitchen. You sat them all down. “Okay. Walk me through your logic.”
Tim pulled out a graph titled Projected Emotional Outcomes Based on Custodial Assignment.
Jason had prepared a PowerPoint. “Slide one: Why Mom is the Superior Parent.”
Slide two: A chart comparing your hugs to Bruce’s handshake-head-pat combo.
Slide three: An animated pie labeled “Pancakes.”
Damian presented a legal document signed in crayon: WE THE CHILDREN CHOOSE THE COOLER PARENT.
“Steph notarized it,” he added.
“She forged my signature,” You whispered.
Steph held up a PowerPoint remote. The TV flashed on. First slide: "Why You Should Keep Us In The Event Of Inevitable Divorce."
You blinked. “Excuse me—what?”
Tim cleared his throat. “We’ve noticed rising tensions in your domestic interactions.”
Cass handed you a binder titled Custody Proposal: Draft 1.
Dick pointed at a bar graph. “Notice that under your influence, emotional stability in the household has increased by 46%. And we’ve had fewer vigilante-related injuries. Except Jason. But he’s a wild card.”
Jason saluted with a juice box.
You pinched the bridge of your nose. “You think Bruce and I are getting divorced because we argued?”
Damian crossed his arms. “Historically, that is how war begins. ”
Cass stood.
She held up flashcards. One had a stick figure with a cape hugging a heart. Another said ‘We Love You.’
Then she did the unthinkable.
She signed: Please don’t leave us.
Stephanie wiped away a tear. “It’s not manipulation if it’s true.”
Then Cass handed you a video montage she’d edited titled “Adoption: A Love Story,” scored with sweeping instrumental music and slow-mo scenes of you handing out snacks.
Damian climbed onto your lap. “You’re warm and you smell like cinnamon. That’s mom stuff.”
Your heart cracked, then melted.
“I’m not leaving Bruce,” you said gently. “We were arguing about printer ink.”
Silence.
“...Printer ink?” Tim asked weakly.
“He keeps buying magenta in bulk! Who uses that much magenta?!”
The kids slowly looked at one another.
“Abort mission,” Dick said.
“Too late,” Cass signed. “I already filed the motion with the fake Batkid Court.”
“Look,” you said, softening, “you don’t need to panic. Even if Bruce and I ever did break up, you’re not losing me.”
“Promise?” Tim whispered.
You cupped his face. “Swear it.” 
Jason sat beside you on the couch. “I get it if you ever want to get a divorce. Bruce is...Bruce. But you? You’re the only one who remembers to buy snacks we actually like. You’re the one who puts notes in my lunch that say, ‘Don’t stab anyone, even if they deserve it.’ That’s love.”
Dick: ���And you help Bruce. Even if he’s being a Bat-Butt.”
Damian knelt. “Legally, I am already a Wayne. But if you filed paperwork, I would accept a hyphen.”
You couldn’t breathe.
Pause.
“So you’re saying we wasted $40 on matching ‘Adopt Me’ t-shirts?”
Later that night, you walked into Bruce’s study and flopped dramatically onto the couch.
“Your children tried to get me to adopt them today.”
He looked up from his paperwork. “Just today?”
“They had charts.”
He nodded. “Ah. The charts phase. Comes right before the emotional blackmail.”
You stared. “This has happened before?”
“Oh, absolutely. You’re the third person they’ve tried it with.”
You gasped. “Who was the second?”
“Alfred.”
You considered this. “They have good taste.”
Bruce smiled faintly. “They love you. That’s all this was. A weird, mildly terrifying love letter.”
You leaned back. “I almost said yes.”
“You still can. We’ll co-parent.”
“Until the magenta ink breaks us.”
He chuckled, kissed your forehead, and added, “Alfred already drafted the adoption paperwork. Just in case.”
Outside the study, eight Batkids listened through the door, celebrating silently.
“See?” Dick whispered. “Still a family.”
Jason wiped away a fake tear. “Group hug?”
“No,” Damian said. “But I will allow a high-five.”
Cass gave him one. It was perfect.
And the family stayed very much intact.
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clownzaf · 8 months ago
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No one in the family understands the connection between Tim and Talia, not even Damian.
Talia would be in Gotham to visit Damian and will fight and disagree with every movement of Tim’s like a disappointed mother, but the moment Tim get distressed or even a little bit upset Talia will be tripping onto herself to be with the boy.
They think Talia adopted the boy like she did with Jason.
They absolutely don’t know that Tim has long ago accepted Ra’s invitations for dinner, (even if it’s only to ensure the safety of his family and friends from the league of assassins) and Ra’s has long ago since pseudo-adopted Tim. He will call to ask about his day, and give shovel talks to his partners via assassins, and just simply drop to his apartment to watch a movie.
He is still trying to get Tim as his heir but eventually decided to drop the ball (for now). He kept Tim tho, at this point he simply grew fond of the boy.
One time Tim spent a entire week training with the league—It was a plan of Ra’s to make him see what he could have if he joined him and Tim agreed only for the extra training and maybe he could get some extra intel just in case— and in that week he became friends with Talia. They were practically siblings right now and it was useful for both parties. Tim would tell Talia all about Damian, even the specific details (Like his favorite breakfast food, one thing in particular he gained interest recently or if he made any new friends in school) and Talia would train him to the best of his capabilities. It also made “Family dinners” a lot less awkward. He has come to be quite fond of Ra’s over the time but sometimes it was better to have someone a little bit younger to talk to and not just the 6000 years old man.
So, now every time Talia drops to the manor to say hi—Knowing things about Damian or the family that she shouldn’t know— she always ends up in a corner watching TikTok’s in Tim’s phone and petting his hair like it’s something that happens everyday.
Damian and Jason were furious about this, it was THEIR mom/mentor and it was unfair for Tim to take that away like everything else in their life.
But they don’t suspect anything else until one day they are invited to have a formal dinner with the Al Ghul’s, just to find Timothy Drake-Wayne (Al Ghul) already in the table dressed in a green silk robe with golden accents chatting with the ninjas in the walls like they are good friends and kicking Ra’s down the table.
It was in fact the most uncomfortable dinner ever, even more so because Tim refused to give them more information about any of this more than a “I’m still in the good side don’t worry”
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faramirsonofgondor · 19 days ago
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Ok ok but Dick being like ~ 15 years older than Damian. When Damian shows up on Bruce’s doorstep, Bruce doesn’t really have a chance to announce it to the public before he gets lost in time. So now Dick, who’s 25 is stuck with this tiny 10 year old and has the job of integrating him into Gotham society.
Except because Bruce only adopts kids who look like him, and Damian and Dick are tanner than the rest of his kids, literally everyone assumes that Damian is Dick’s bio kid. Like Dick is like “oh yea this is Bruce’s biological son that I’m looking after” and everyone goes “uh huh sure” but when he’s not around they’re just like “oh that’s his kid for sure”. Both Dick and Damian are aware of it and offended by it, albeit for very different reasons. Dick is offended that they somehow think he would be a deadbeat dad even if he was a teen dad, and Damian is offended that nobody believes he’s Bruce’s kid.
But eventually Dick is just like fuck it that’s my kid, and Damian is extremely annoyed but somehow lets Dick convince him to go along with it. Dick walks around in a pink shirt that says “Your favorite DILF” in the most basic font ever, and buys Damian a matching shirt that says “The favorite child” which Damian refuses to wear unless one of the other Batkids (usually Steph since basically everyone else fucked off when Bruce was lost) is around.
It gets to the point where even Dick, Damian, and Alfred forget that Damian isn’t actually Dick’s bio kid. (In this AU, Bruce is lost in time for about 3 years) Dick decides to forget about Talia’s existence as well and just decides that Damian is a clone that he birthed. But then Bruce comes back and now they’re in a weird place. Damian lives with Bruce now and while nobody ever says anything directly, the entire public is giving them a huge side eye because both Dick and Damian look a little depressed with the predicament. People start to wonder if Bruce is blackmailing Dick or something.
Everything comes to a head when Bruce and Dick start fighting in front of the whole fam over something Bruce said to Damian on patrol. Bruce tells Dick that he needs to back off because Bruce is Damian’s father, not Dick. Nobody’s sure how Dick is going to respond, but they definitely weren’t expecting for Dick to say “Fuck you, I’m the one who birthed him!!!” There’s a stretch of silence and before anyone can respond to that, Damian just nods his head and goes “Grayson is right. Surely your memory is not so poor that you’ve forgotten?” Everyone is gaping when Alfred delivers the final blow “Master Bruce, I truly did not expect this behavior from you. Of course Master Dick is Damian’s parent. Perhaps it is best if you retire, since it is clear that your lack of sleep is getting the better of you.”
Everyone is shook and they’re like “wtf you cannot gaslight us into believing this shit.” Except they do indeed gaslight. And gaslight. And gaslight.
Jason tries to reason with them by talking about how he had met Damian in the League, had seen Damian with Talia, yada yada yada. Damian just goes “I think I would remember if I had played little league. Such foolish games are beneath me. Cease your nonsense, Todd.” Jason eventually calls Talia to make sure he’s not losing his memories or something. Talia is perplexed but Dick’s claim over her child does scare her just a little bit, considering she remembers how feral he was when he was younger and she’s heard whispers about him killing the Joker (not that she ever mentioned that to Jason).
Tim tries to go with logic but gets shut down every time. One time he asks “If you were raised by Dick then why is your English so proper?” He’s met with “Oh, so because English is not Richard’s first language, then he is incapable of speaking it properly? Tt.” When he questions why Damian fights the way he does if he wasn’t raised by the LoA, Dick brings out his Renegade training and shows off his skills. Tim keeps trying to find ways to prove that they’re lying, but somehow ends up losing the argument every time. It’s grating, especially considering Alfred is on their side.
Bruce is hesitant to try anything because Alfred is corroborating their story and he doesn’t want to cross Alfred. He only questions it once, asking Dick where Damian’s baby photos are. He does not anticipate Dick tearfully explaining that they were all destroyed when Blockbuster blew up his apartment. Bruce is so panicked and desperate to make sure Dick doesn’t cry again that he just never questions it again.
So now the entire family is kinda gaslight into believing it, and those who know the truth don’t actually say anything because they don’t think it’s worth the effort. After all, Dick is doing a great job of parenting Damian. But then comes the Justice League, which is much bigger than batfam. Everyone is kinda awkwardly glancing around when Dick introduces Damian as his kid, because they remember a few years back Bruce saying the same thing, but now Bruce is just going along with what Dick is saying. The OG Titans are like “wtf dude” but also immediately have his back whenever someone tries to question it. They talk about how they were there for Damian’s birth, about all the presents they’ve bought for their nephew and holidays spent together. Everyone gets the memo to not ask questions about it. The only one stupid enough to try is Hal, who is met with a feral Damian. He has a flashback of the many, many times Dick bit him as a child and decides that yea, that kid belongs to Dick.
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