#thts pretty insane to me
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Its still insane to me that my reading comp scores went from below avg to above just because of fucking touchstarved demo
#like.....what the fuck#redstrewn talks#for the GRE at least#but i had shit english score for the SAT#i engulfed book quotes bc of this fucking demo#thts pretty insane to me
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>______< I am not okay
#he loookssssssss soooooo boyfrienddddd wht da helllllll#his face card is insane#like r we serious#he is so beautiful his beautiful droopy eyes#his pretti hair#his lovely piercings omhdhddjdbdbd#I am so in love with him r we srsssssss#I didn’t think genshin could release another male character tht would have me this unwell#now here I ammmmm#his witl teefies#I need him to breed my ****
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she miss on my hollo till i way .
#insane sentance insane. hate how this is how i express things now using this meme format. but also love it#anyway heyy guyss did u know tht. miss holloway <3 unfortunatly many of u DO NOT !!! go watch nightmare time its so good#actually the miss holloway eps r the witch in the web and killer track so go watch those but also go watch all of nightmare time#if u havent yet. im reccomnding it like its any other show not part of the extented hatchetfield universe but honestly.#go watch it anyway. if ur confused ur confused idc. but also watch the other hatchetfield stuff first#anywayyy going to change my blog theme and im thinking of doing a poll of potential themes#like i id last time but im also worried u guys arent gonna vote for the miss holloway one when ITS SO GOODDDD !!!!#its literally soo pretty promise me ull vote for it if you like it most even if u dont know who tht is#flappy rambles#starkid#nightmare time
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no one care me & i hate my best friend so fucking much like he actually doesn't care abt me as a person at all outside of her own problems and (explosion sfx) (explosion sfx) (explosion sfx)
#i should not try to be friends with people that know him bcz ultimately they will prefer him and be on his side against me#tht sounds so fucking dramatic lol btu the fucking um. ''everyone secretly hates me'' thing that is confirmed over and over again#nd like. i do not actually matter to people#need to stop looking at thistle's stupid blog because i literally saw part of a discord screenshot and went insane over like#my dms being riight at the bottom of the sidebar. when i felt bad the one time hers was 4th?5th? cause it felt too low#pretty sure thats stupid#but its just like. god u have so many people u care abt over me &#i need to be put down
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ik the doctor said this pain was muscular but idk im still convinced it’s a cyst .. i mean either way it should go away but like ?? they did say if the pain didn’t go away in 4 to 6 weeks i should go back so. i’ll do that if it persists
#less than 1% of ovarian cysts before menopause r apparently cause for concern so like. im not worried#but i AM convinced tht it’s not jst regular muscle pain#cause as far as im aware an ovarian cyst won’t cause pain when pressed down on unless it’s of a significant size#or along those lines so like. it’s not like they could tell if it IS a cyst without an ultrasound#but i still think it is. i hope im wrong cause muscle pain is probably easier 2 deal with but like. is what it is yk#im jst tired of being in pain tbh. my jaw is driving me insane#n i cant sit in like any position w the pain down there#n the jaw is causing shoulder n neck pain too ���.#and of course my breasts always kinda hurt cause they’re huge and they hate me#and THAT cause my arms to hurt too sometimes#and ofc my knee is feeling left out so she’s playing up too#im jst like. so done w the pain by now#im getting less sleep. i cant sleep a whole night in one go it’s always split into parts#n ive always had trouble getting to sleep anyway so there’s that too#i look absolutely exhausted as well#like ive always had pretty significant grey bags under my eyes thts jst how im built#but recently i swear they’ve gotten darker n deeper#im jst soso tired. i feel like i can’t do anything#like i wash the dishes with plans to do more after but i finish n im jst. tired n i hav to sit down#i wanna do things. but everything makes me tired#wow this turned into a bit of tag rant huh … anyway#plum.txt
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I absolutely hate the whole 'snape loved lily' plot twist. People often equate it to the way Sirius still loved and missed james years after his death and went to insane lengths to protect his son, but tht was so not the case with snily.
Coz snape and lily had such a toxic, imperfect relationship in canon, but instead of treating it tht way it was never addressed. It wud hv been so interesting to explore this, but the series just doesn't.
Both of them r awful friends to each other. Snape's faults r obviously pretty clear (aiming to join a terrorist group tht believes ppl lyk his friend shouldn't be alive...yea tht doesn't need to be mentioned twice lol). Don't get me wrong, lily was completely right to cut Snape off, but it wasn't lyk she was a good friend even before tht. Can u ever imagine Ron or Hermione almost smiling if Draco was exposing Harry's underpants to a crowd of jeering students? Nope. They wud throw hands, period. Can u imagine any of the marauders doing tht to each other? (their internal dynamics might not be the healthiest but they wudnt stand for it if an outsider bullied their friends). Absolutely not. Coz it's not about these characters, it's just... not how u react when ur 'friend' is getting tormented (or anyone else for tht matter, but friend in this context specifically). Also can u imagine Ron or Hermione relying on school rumours saying tht Draco saved Harry's life without asking Harry about his version of the event first? Nope. Can u see what I'm getting at here?
Lily wasn't even a good friend to Snape to begin with, but he loved her until the end (irrespective of whether u want to see it as romantic or platonic). Now, I cud buy the narrative tht lily was the only person who was ever kind to him and thts y he clung on to her, but thts not how canon sees it. The source material doesn't address the nuances of this relationship in any meaningful way other than 'snape loved lily and tht is y he switched sides'.
Which is y the reason he switches sides, and his continued love for lily until he dies at 38 seems sort of shallow to me. Coz it wud be different if he'd hurt someone who truly loved him, but thts clearly not the case (u cud say tht lily loved him and did wrong by him too but tht isn't canon, given tht canon doesn't think she ever wronged him to begin with). Just feels lyk he was gaslit by the author tbh
#severus snape#pro severus snape#anti lily evans#anti lily potter#the prince's tale#deathly hallows#young snape#snape's worst memory#anti snily
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My duality is insane like yes I will be the wife tht makes you pretty lunchboxes for work with cute animal shaped rice balls. Ill cut ur fruit into heart pieces. I'll even put a cute note with my lipstick kiss mark on it. But when I get horny I'd be on my knees 247, listening to your every command and I'll take whatever you give me like a good girl.
#daddy’s wh0re#good slvt#cloversthoughts#needy slvt#needy wh0re#daddy's good girl#daddy’s babygirl#daddy k!nk#dumb slvt#free use slvt#needy princess
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alice in borderland — suguru niragi “eye candy”
contents : suggestive themes, smut
a/n : a small crumb while i am busy with life smh
“Stop looking at me like that.”
There's a frown plastered on his face, eyebrows scrunched as if he's looking at something absolutely disgusting yet the slight upward tug of his lips tells you otherwise.
“Like what?” You asked him, confused as to why he's looking at you the way he is.
Cuddling on the sofa of your apartment—a temporary home in this madness you call borderland, your limbs in a mess of tangle with his as you're sprawled atop of his body, his arm around you and the other behind his head.
Niragi was a constant wild child but moments like this makes you remember that even someone as wild as him needs normalcy in his life too—that at the end of the day, he is a human too.
His arm tightens around your figure for a brief moment before relaxing, the flex of his arm seems unintentional. “Acting like you don't know? Tsk.”
“I wouldn't know unless you tell me, Niragi.” It was amusing to watch his frown transform into a scowl, the evident shade of red, no matter how small, bright on his ears as he glare at you.
It is quite adorable, ever so tough and cocky bastard, Suguru Niragi who crawls from death every damn time is flustered underneath you. His bandages cannot even hide it.
Instead of responding right away though, his arm that was behind his head shifted to reach over your face, settling on your jaw as his stare is on level with yours—eyes steel and cold softening until his lips curved into a damn small grin.
“Like this.”
Rugged, rough, and dangerous is what everyone who would see him describes him.
Yet the way he places his kiss on your lips is tender, soft and gentle like he's afraid to taint you but his hand that's gripping your jaw is firm and commanding, telling you to stay still.
What was the look you were showing him? You could've asked and persisted but he swallows your every breath, the parting of your lips merely serving him an opportunity to kiss you further, deeper, more.
The arm that's around your body draws small scratches of patterns and shapes, a slow dance and kiss as he attempts to close the 'non existent' space between the two of you with the proximity you already share.
Hips slowly gyrating against yours in a slow motion, not to get you off, but to simply feel you and your warmth.
For someone as lust driven and hungry as he is, just being with you was enough.
“Shit, you're so..” He couldn't finish his words, no, with how your taste left him speechless and the way your eyes flutter like a butterfly kissing your lids slightly open to look at him as he parts from your lips got him fixated on you.
You drive him mad.
And he's already insane enough.
He dives right back in when he felt you take a breath, the sweet sweet air you breathe in being taken right away, teeth grazing your lower lip, biting it to ask for your permission yet never waiting enough before he pushes his way through.
Every curve, every nook, he explored it like he's an adventurer on a quest—call him one because you are his world he is willing yo conquer.
Suguru Niragi is both rough yet gentle, tough yet soft, it is only you who get to see his vulnerability. “It seems last night wasn't enough for ya', pretty?” He murmurs through the kiss, sending vibrations through mouth as a small chuckle escapes his lips, once again capturing yours.
“I'll make sure you won't look at anyone the same damn way you're looking at me now.” It wasn't just a mere statement, but his tone sends a promise.
If it was merely an innocent kiss before, now wasn't.
It's aching, the core tht burns inside you as he pushes you into the pillow. The soft velvety pillows muffling the noises that you fail to contain with how he is moving. “Oh.. mhm, Niragi.. ”
It's like you're in a trance that you can't break.
Your wrist bound behind your back as Niragi uses it to his advantage, moving faster as he holds onto you. “Ya' like that, darlin'?” He drawls next to your ear when he leans, pressing a small chaste kiss on your shoulder, it was sweet, loving—
Until it switches back to him absolutely ravaging you like a madman.
“mhmm.. hah, y-yeahh..”
His hips repeatedly hitting yours, abusing the spot that he knows will make you see stars, knowing every damn well of your body.
The curve of your back, arched beautifully and every noise that breaks from your throat gets him going. Your legs are shaking from the intensity yet always lifted for him to take.
Niragi let's go of your wrist to take a hold of your neck, wishing to see your expression, “now why are ya' holdin' back your moans?”
The squelch squelch squelch is a repetitive melody to the room, hand twisting your neck so he can see what look you are making.
“There you are..” You could hear the smirk from his tone, lilt and amused upon seeing your face. Almost mockingly teasing until his lips finds the side of your mouth, “no one is here but us, scream all you want.”
“Wanna hear my name from your lips.”
Fast, deep, rough, then turning slow—after a thrust, his body gyrates and you can't help but follow after his. The stimulation is addictive. “Hah... Fuck, it feels damn good.”
His hand traces your body, fingers following the curve of your spine and to your ass where he palms the globe of it, feeling every inch of you and watching how his dick goes in and out of you.
The length of him pushing into you until your body flinches at the heat of the passion, squirming against him. Both trying to get away and push into him, asking for more, you don't know.
Maybe it was due to the heat of the moment that there's droplets kissing your skin, his sweat from the lovemaking—from how he's fucking you full, but something tells you that it's so much more. Your eyes, barely open and conscious glances at him briefly, until you couldn't with how he makes you close it by hitting the spot that brings you to heaven and back.
“Wanna see you look at me, like- hah.. like how you did earlier.”
“H-how exactly?” You still ask, small little droplets continues to touch your bare skin—tears of his love, vulnerability..
“Like I'm yours.”
Trust.
#gender neutral reader#aib x you#aib x reader#alice in borderland x you#alice in boderland x reader#suguru niragi x reader#niragi x reader
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cal life update wow!
yweha guys so instead of rotting on tumblr, i actually made a lot of imporvements in my life after i went on hiatus hehehehe most improtant of all: i learned how to socializ e and Not be awkward to some extent n that makes me so happy cuz my scoial life irl became so much morelively aaaaa<3 i think the only thing that stayed w the old me (cal pre hiatus) is that im still a fucking mlbb player unfortunately! but like... the othe rgames i used to have? gone! absolutely gone haha except Sky cuz i still love sky and recently redownlaoded haha but yeag i think i changed alot,,,,,, i actually touch grass now gusy!! i go outside pretty frequently w friends and yk the funniest part. the grass didnt hepl my thirst for fictonal people yay (im doomed) LIKE its not that bad anymore but i still catch myself acting insane liek cal pull ur shit togeyehr ur supposed to be nomral now erm anyways! yes thts pretty much it ive been Thriving and uhem perhaps nor that much in the love life section i realy want the fucking ground to consume me on that part of my life in both a good and bad way!! <3 HALKJEKHJD
yeah so ty for coming to my yap session ill stay for like a while cuz i wanna tlak to peple here hehe and then ill goback to hbbernation
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GUYS GUYS I just had a thought right now it s theory time babey
Had anybody seen the recent update of qsmp newsletter I saw the jaiden part where it had a text saying "when I don't remember you..."
Im pretty sure ppl had went to youtube and saw what it came out,
IT WAS specifically the first vid tht popped up and enters the song AND the lore of marceline and the ice king bcs it replayed the scene of the episode of the song. What I'm tryna get in here is tht the ice king USED to take care of marceline when she was younger, but now since he went insane from the powers of the crown. It made him forget about her thus went to their seperate ways until she grew up to be an adult.
What I'm thinking about the Jaiden lore here is tht Jaiden is the ice king and cucu is marceline. When cucu brought Jaiden to the federation, they gave Jaiden a book which it shows:
Cucu said Jaiden helped them and specifically cucu too. Sooooo I'm thinking she became a caretaker because if she became a caretaker of the subjects/experiments here and later on something big happened and she had to be removed by the feds and had her memory wiped (which is bad bcs they have the power of doing tht and can remove her memory at any given time) annddddd yes but I'm not so sure on my theory who knows....
Just me being crazy bfr she comes back huhuhuhuu
#theory#qsmp#jaiden animations#jaiden qsmp#q!jaiden#qsmp jaiden#qsmp cucurucho#cucurucho being sus lmao#im craving for more jaiden content waabashahaba#cucumber#nvm quackity lore came out again hddhjejehsji end me#CUCU IS AN ISLANDER AS WELL?????#he got brainwashed instead#nvm they both did#im going locoloco HAHAHAHAAHHA
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klavier very clearly having a facade over all of what he does is sooooo fun. Mind you i havent revisted aa4 (besides serenade) in ages so idr anything. i don't even know who klavier is. but it's funnnnn. i know a lot of ppl are like "he CLEARLY has a crush on apollo" and i think he 100% does attach to apollo in some regard but its fun, to me, if how he talks to apollo is still largely facade. that playflirting? that play insulting? it's play... it's pretend. it's a cover!
but rly idgaf abt klavier so intensely so you'll never see strong analysis of him from me, but like, he has a few lines tht just stick w me. mostly this one
THAT'S SO FUN. BC IT'S NOT TRUE IN THE SLIGHTEST. it's not even a good attempt at bullshitting. he says it, im pretty sure, with that dumb fucking pretty smile on his face, For the cameras ass smile, and its such a blatantly empty statement tht i adore it. Like why are you saying that!!!
it's funnnn because klavier, obviously, music is like, His Escape from it all, like it rly does seem as if music is his stronger passion over prosecuting (though i know they're probably equal). so conceivably this could be a really expressive moment for him. but instead he's like. Bc die girlies. ^_^ And like that's it. ....OKAY?
klavier to me has such a like, weird, attaching sort of behavior, i think. he attached to kristoph bc brother, and modeled after him. and then he attaches to daryan, as partner, and best friend, and right hand man (real thing he said, i swear). so it makes sense if he also attaches to apollo...almost as soon as kristoph is out of his life, basically?! oh he's insane. he's like. i need you to bounce off of. i need you to seek the truth with me.
but all the while, he's a little freak who hides everything behind a pretty smile. ...
Crazy .......
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5/14/23
listening to no romance by tirzah on repeat right now~ i bought these glasses at a closet sale that mara and sara threw with a few other girls. was so cute <3 i had a chat with my therapist on friday about how i tend to run away from romantic encounters. any person or romantic interaction rooted in reality i avoid all together. i clearly have a fear of intimacy but it's strange because i still desire connection. in fact, a big part of my everyday sadness is due to the fact that i don't have a romantic partner to share my life with.
i know i'm very picky, that's part of the reason why i prefer being alone. i don't like many people (at least in a romantic sense.) i like one person every now and then. which is pretty insane because i am constantly meeting cool new people. it's just very very few ever scratch the surface for me. i wish i could change that about myself.
this tirzah song is ironically reflective of my love life since 2018. i didn't mean to listen to it on repeat it just happened. i've been pretty miserable since 2018, in a romantic sense. i've been pretty miserable in a romantic sense almost always honestly. but especially from 2018 to now i've experienced really traumatic and painful interactions that felt worthlessly cruel.
i suppose i learned a lot from those people but i really wish i was given some semblance of love in between the pain. there was no such thing though. only pain, through and through.
i faced every obstacle during this time period. it all only got worse. my physical health, facing potential death by the age of 24 (luckily i'm okay now, i'm 23 so tht would've sucked lol) being completely isolated and alone, having stalkers and when there came to be someone i did like romantically something would always get in the way. it would be impossible for us to make it work. my *no longer* male best friend got into my paranoid ex's head in 2018, causing us to break up because he wanted me for himself. he's one of the few people i'll always have a feeling of immense disgust towards. but after that the only thing that brought my life aspects of positivity was music.
making music throughout the difficult times in my life has gotten me to this point where i am able to have a career i'm proud of, to make art i'm proud of. the cost was very large though. i had nothing to live for except for the music. and i think that shows in what i've released so far, at least i hope it does.
i want a real partner though. i want to experience romance. i want that. i haven't had that since 2018. i'm scared but i'm going to try my best to make it happen. with someone i genuinely like.
i have a person in mind.
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Hello! How's your week been?
I was wondering if you would be willing to write a Hunter x Basilisk!Reader? I think it would be interesting considering Hunter just found out he's a grimwalker.
Hello! My week has been great thank you for asking :) Sorry that it took me so long to write your request 😅
I made these in to HC since you weren't too specific on what scenario i sould write, so sorry if this isn't what you were asking :(
Anyway, since I'm dumb feel free to correct my mistakes if I get anything wrong :)
To start things off the first encounter with Hunter and how he acts around you depends on what the scenario is
If he met you in a forest in your non basilisk form he would freak out and run away. Since, well you're a basilisk
But if he met you in the Noceda household he wouldn't be as scared
Yes he would still be very cautious around you but he'll warm up to you pretty quickly
Since we kind of know how exactly the hexsquad reacted the first time they saw Vee, assuming that Luz already told them about Vee when they were still in the Boiling Isles, let's make things easier for me and just say that you never appeared during the time that Luz was in the mirror world (idk how else to call it)
So the hexsquad would be pretty surprised but seeing Vee and Mrs Noceda so calm around you makes them somewhat relax
They would still be on edge for the most part but they will learn to warm up to you
Now back to Hunter
He would be extremely cautious around you, since he clearly remembers Luz only mentioning only one basilisk
So expect the cold shoulder around him and always feeling eyes on you when you knew no one was around for at least two weeks or so
The more Hunter inspects you the more he feels amazed
As we know Hunter is a huge nerd and he probably came across a book about creatures such as basilisk's at least once, and he probably knew tht they were extinct. So him seeing a basilisk, let alone two basilisk's he is amazed
But still because he knows the awful stories that are portraid in books he is very cautious, more around you that is, since again as I mentioned, Luz probably mentioned Vee back in the Boiling Isles
Now, onto the more fun part to write
When Hunter finally comes to the conclusion that you are in fact not a danger (which the others realized weeks before) he will feel a lot more comfortable
For example he will actually start talking to you and get to know you better
But as the days pass you two seem to grow a connection
The two of you would talk more. Go on walks around the park just to enjoy nature. Do fun activities together such as cooking (you're doing all of the work while Hunter watches). You even shapeshift in front of him to different people and do stupid stuff while Hunter laughs his ass of and tries to copy you
And then there's that one feeling that makes hunter question reality. You could probably guess what feeling I'm talking about
At first he wouldn't understand exactly what's going on with him, because of his time being Golden Guard he never exactly had the time to explore his emotion's
Plus the whole thing in Belos's mind got him even more confused on who he is and if he can even feel what others feel
And so he does what any curious boy does and goes to Luz to ask her about this weird thing he's feeling, of course him not knowing that the feeling is in fact love, or more realistically the feeling of like liking someone, he mentions your name
And to say Luz would be excited is an understatement
She would be squeeling like a fan girl and running around the room, jumping around as she talks to herself excitedly on what your shop name sould be
Hunter is just looking at her with one of his brows arched as he's asking why she's excited all of a sudden
When Luz explains that the feeling he is going through is love he'll be shocked
From then on hell me more awkward around you. Constantly fiddling with the ends of his sleeves and fingers, blushing insanely and his ears would wiggle slightly when you spoke up
Everyone would slowly pick up on Hunter having a crush on you (Luz probably told them a bit later on) but you would be the only clueless one, just thinking that Hunter's going through an awkward stage or something like that
Luz and Vee would probably drop little hints to you, not obvious hints of course, but they would leave you slightly confused
Hunter will be scolding them 100% but they would just make him even more embarrassed by making kissy faces and acting like him
But let's get into the thanks to them episode a bit more
You would notice that Hunter is acting strangely but you just brush it off as mood swings or something like that
But you would get a bit more worried when you saw Hunter running in to the woods and Luz running after him with a scared expression
You being curious, wanting to know what the hell is going on, you follow them
And the next moment you're fighting with a possessed Hunter
Your heart breaking every time he would get hurt, still knowing and trying to tell yourself that that wasn't Hunter
When Hunter finally comes back to his senses and throws the titans blood in to the lake (?)
Your heart dropped when he jumped in. Already getting ready to jump in, but Camila was already one step ahead of you
Pulling him out of the water you were the first one to run up to him, hugging him close as tears build up in to your eyes
But flapjack was there to save the day, jumping on to Hunter's chest, and well... You know what happened next
Now, everyone was walking through the portal, Hunter the last one to enter, but he turned towards you
As he looked in to your eyes, and took in every single detail of your face he slowly walked towards you, grabbing on to your hand
And after a short but emotional confession he put his lips onto yours, putting a had on his cheek you turned your head slightly, smiling in to the kiss
You two pull away slowly and Hunter brushes your knuckles with his thumb, but the moment was ruined when the portal starts to flicker
He quickly runs through it and you're left there with a dumb smile on your face, looking at the portal as it slowly faded away
You were cut out of your thoughts when Vee starts to re-enact the moment you shared with Hunter
Leaving you embarrassed and leaving as Vee teased you while following you, suddenly remembering tha the keys to the car were still with Camila
But you couldn't help but repeat the kiss you and hunter shared over and over in your head. Already getting excited at the thought of seeing him again
Damn, this is way longer than I expected-
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and feel free to correct any mistakes :)
#the owl house#toh#toh hunter#toh hunter x reader#toh hcs#toh basilisk#basilisk reader#toh basilisk hc
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🪦 and/or 💥 and/or ♟️ for ask game ^-^
🪦 - are certain characters functionally dead?
i'm not too sure whag this means or how to answer i fear OTL so sorrey. i think all characters are have an opportunity to impact things especially because of the limboisms + ghosts. i guess maybe alyssa? especially cuz her bigger tethers like callahan also aren't around much so theres less opportunity for her legacy/memory to be carried. wait speaking of ghosts where are cvik n clazar's ghosts. hope there's not an evil asshole who would purposely keep them from leaving frm smwhere to make sure they don't tell anyone what he did to them. lol. lmao. l
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💥 - should c!niki apologize to c!clingyduo?
i mean i think so? cniki did super scapegoat and try to kill ctommy in a slash srs way and as interesting and well written as it was that's still naottttt. v cool. and uhh. also she helped release cdrm from prison. i donnie think she's irredeemable at all and i don't think she had to grovel but. zero concern abt the fact she's directly assisting a group of overpowered assholes in releasing sm shithead abuser who ruined HER AND ALL HER FRIENDS LIVES so he can run around and do it again is pretty crazy. imo. to be clear ☝️‼️ ilove cniki i absolutely do but like. cmon.
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♟️ - was c!wilbur a dictator for trying to rig the vote?
oiuwhUWGH I'VE BEEN WAITING TO BE ANNOYING ABT THIS. HELLO. OK.
to start, no, i don't think he's a dictator for it at all 👍 i think dictator is a pretty specific thing that people LOVEEE to throw around incorrectly in dsmp discussion. BUT, while he may not be not a dictator, he IS a MASSIVE LOSER 🗣‼️
my hot take abt it is that uhh. i think people tend to have an incredibly reductive view abt cwilbur. specifically in wilburian circles which i've complained abt lots before but. idk the strange incentive to sand down all the shit that makes him interesting or deeper to form this bland, more easily palatable/defendable mush of a character makes me insane in my head.
the reason i bring this up here (and how it relates to my point/the prompt) is: acting like ctommy was solely and selflessly cwilburs only motivation for making lmanberg is. imo. a retcon. if i am to be honest w you. because it's Not Textually True.
like yes, he does deeply, deeply love tommy, that's undeniable. yes, he clearly built it w him squarely in mind but it was also for everyone! lmanberg was a family! his literal actually son lived there. they all loved eachother, they wanted a place for themselves. and it was Also for power and Also sticking it to the man!! (And completely justified to be clear!! he was being smarmy abt it, of course but thts not a bad thing!! he was 100000% right.). not to even mention the cphil letters and what that entails. and to act like it can only be the one that makes him look "the best" is. annoying.
compare to ceret. if we act like ohhh poor baby eret was just manipulated into betraying lmanberg and that's the end of it no need to dig deeper. man shut UP. IT'S LAME. things can be complex! she was manipulated, textually, of course she was, but she was also selfish! she betrayed the people she loved most, and she wanted the crown, the kingship, he wanted power. and of course, you can't ignore that in a server where power is one of the only ways to achieve security, for both himself and her friends, it makes total sense tht she would go for it! it can be multiple things.
another example i'll use is uhh election era q to narrow it down. during the election arc, he super wanted to help people!! he was earnestly pitching that they wouldn't need an iron fist bcs they could just all learn to be niceys to eachother. he really took what ppl said to heart and wanted to make lmanberg the best it could be, away from someone who he thought would abuse his position and WAS abusing his position. and he was also a HUGE TOXICA CUNT. he stabbed people and shot them and was a huge bully, and more often that not was encouraging and participating w cschlatt's more assholey actions when he also. an asshole. because they both are. 😭 q wanted power. again, power = security in the dsmp. so you can rlly understand his throughline. while also going hey, shooting people with horse tranquilizer is also super his own stupid evil little choice. things can overlap.
so to the ctommy is cwilbs only priority there line. if it's all for him. if he secures the country at the expense of two of his little brothers lives.
for the lack of better term, why does he leave it up for grabs for his ego.
there's no power to secure at that point. they won. there's no thing he needs to overcome right now, there's no current threat. (to be clear cdrm is always a threat but at the time no one is really aware how far he's willing to go and the seeds he's planting) and again, i understand that he was paranoid, and wanted validation, but point blank canon this is a fully lucid bad decision.
and even then, if you wanna say ohh well maybe he didn't realize smone could stop him maybe he never realized smone would intervene. that's still. annoying and bad. 😭. to not even give the people the chance? i don't think it's irredeemable At All but it's purpose in the narrative is undoubtedly short sighted and selfish.
even Then, he had another chance to bag it smhow. and he fumbled that too!
(pretty good breakdown of what i will be adressing can be found here, w timestamps -> https://www.tumblr.com/stellocchia/661878977008467969/stellocchia-thespoonisvictory-s1-elections)
in the convo, cwilb offered cq the opportunity to do a coalition w him. his offer is they pool their votes together and whoever gets the most votes in between them is allowed to keep the whole country.
cq calls him out, rightfully, and goes hey man. you can act like you think i have a fair shot all you want but you are out of your dome if you think people will somehow vote for me more than they'll vote for you.
cq even tries to compromise when wil falters, and say why dont we split power and run it together. and wilbur tells him NO‼️ even if you believe that cwilbur believe that cq loves lmanberg, which i do, and even if you believe it when he says that he would be ok w it in q's hands, which i don't considering he refuses to meet him in the middle, q Does calls him out for him. he says yr just using me. this is a scam.
and ctommy and cwilb reply 'YEAH IT IS ^__^" like man cmonnnneudhdjk. and that's what makes cq join cschlatt!
so to cut myself off, no. he's not a dictator mm mm, just short sighted and selfish and unwilling to compromise. 👍 unrelatedly does anyone else think it's crazy that in the canonical pogtopia wins au wilbur was gnna jail schlatt after he lost over "commiting voter fraud" (despite cwilb trying and failing to do that as well) and was just leave him there. like. he was also gnna make cq build a second layer of the lmanberg walls and cq was going to leave a secret tunnel in it on schlatts behalf. huh. what. anyone else think that's crazy.
#TYSM FR the question delilah smile this was really fun to formulate#askatraz#quackitytheduck#ask games#cwilbur crit#<- LIKE I GUESS.
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Are we going to ignore the papers Navier and Sovieshu holding? Especially Navier? From closer look it looks like a movie script! How many times are they going to hint us like that. They're are all actors in TRE universe and you can't convince me otherwise.
so true op they are all buddies friends coworkers. what divorce?? what execution?? cmon fellow actor youre going to be late for rehearsal. anyways my own hcs regarding their dynamic: Sovieshu and navier award-winning nepo babies directors who decided to collaborate on a history fantasy drama. Sovieshu is an 'art connoisseur' (he constantly uses his salary to buy 5 mill abstract art to navier's dismay) and navier is mother who walks around the studio with the loud click of her heels driving everyone insane in a good way (im everyone)
Rashta is the newbie actor that everyone instantly falls in love with. She's suprisingly good at acting as an antagonist but is actually a cinnamon roll irl who wears cute pastel animal hoodies.
Heinrey, Ergi, McKenna are all long time fan favorites. Ergi definitely flirts with interviewers and gets a muffled laugh from heinrey and an elbow shove from mckenna Kaufman gives me bear vibes but not in a bad way!! hes so sweet and helps around with the props and scenes. he cringes at himself everytime he plays early character!kaufman bc he can never be tht cold irl
Christa as the senior actor whos still very pretty and amused with everyone's antics Mastas fight choreographer and rose's navier right hand. they are the gossip gurlies and internally made an always-updated ranking among themselves for the best cast members (spoilers: navier is first)
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ok 1 menty b for me
i dont know. i think its just always been so alienating. i think theres something wrong with me and its unfixable. and sometimes, if i cant have anything else, i just want at least the fucking chance to express that without people thinking even less of me. and ik in reality nobody even gaf or sees me. but i also know know that if they did, 9times out fo 10 people would be rolling their eyes. whatever. idk. i feel so lonely and i dont think im ever not going to be lonely and its never going to get better because even when given the resources, the opportunities i just can never manage . i just cant . i swear i try . but every single time. my whole fucking life . i just walk away from everything with even less, it feels like. and its getting so much harderand harder. and i dont know how to express it liek ... i fucking feel myself SEETHE as ppl keep insisting "theres still a chance! there's still hope!" like sure bro. but i dont want to fucking keep living my life along the fucking asymptote of getting consistently closer to dying alone but "haha technically its not a certainty" and . like theres just something so fucking repulsive about me and i just cant seem to fix it no matter what. and im so exhausted all the time. and i genuinely dont think theres any way out of that . i go to work and i come home so burnt out and tired. and people are nice there but i dont think i can really connect with anyone . i just cant seem to get close to people . and i dont have it within me to meet anyone else because im so fucking tired all of the time .
and even if i did and i mustered all the energy and spent all the little time i had left in the world i dont think theyd have time for me. not just bc nobody in their 20s does but also because i dont know . it just never seems to work . and i cant do it again where i try to invest every little piece of me into it when its jsut always left me fucking miserable and pathetic. bro do you know what i mean. not to be 16 and lame as shit still. i feel like im always the idiot ppl take pity on at best . i dont think ive ever been real to anybody. like alwaysssssss...... and even now i feel like every time I HAVE existed within circles of others. its literally 10 times out of 10 just constantly fighting to be included and seen as someone whos not a fucking joke and i just feel like such a fucking . loser for caring so much about it when. REALISTICALLY. pretty much all the people ive met in life will have forgotten i exist. and ok. ok. i just dont think ... like its not like some trait within me right like ... im not As melodramatic to be like oh . oh theres an actual innate trait within me thats activated and stops people liking me. just. the contrary like. i just think theres nothing within me to actually like . or to gravitate towards. so likeyeah sure . that makes sense. why WOULD you want to bother with someone whos just kinda hollow or whatever.. something something or other. and i kind of wish i was more resilient about tht. but i jsut . i guess as is a Guy of that Nature, its just ... im trying to fucking not fucking spiral but i just feel myself fucking filling up with fucking . miserable SHITTY bile or whatever because i just wish i felt normal or whatever. its such a fucking human fucking thing that other people can MANAGE. but i cant . its so so fucking hard and i cant do it and i cant handle it. and i just feel so angry sometimes anyways . bc i hate it . and i keep trying bc i wanna make peace with it because i know theres no out . like ive long since given up on ever thinking its going to work out . because nothing fucking helps but makes it so much worse . anyways. i dont know. but i dont know bro. it drives me fucking insane when people always spout some bs about how "haha everyone has someone! everyone will find someone! like no they dont no they wont . its so .. so much more isolating. or like "EVERYONEEE feels lonely sometimes" like HOW does that help. HOW. and it makes it so MUCH FUCKING WORSEEEE when people tell you about how lonely they are too!!! like cool . i dont have a chance then. sorry i know thats such a bitter bitch thing to say. but idk if it rlly matters like ... at the end of the day idc when ppl have partners. or people they talk to. family who loves them. and youre still lonely. cool. thank you for letting me know, dude. go back to the people who will look out for you and love you whilst i sit in the dark and not speak to anyone for weeks whilst not a single person would even notice im gone .
or like. bro. i dont think a single person has taken me seriously for long enough to ever fucking like me or hold me in enough regard to like... want to talk to me again nevermind like be with me in a certain sense so i jsut. i dont know. sits alone. every fucking day for years maybe. i dont know. i feel so fucking sad and angry knowing deep down that i can know all this and know its true but even then . i cant even have that . people wont even take THAT part of me seriouslyand think im just some fucking idiot whos not even trying. when i really reallyhave but its just so... worthless it feels like . it feels like im never getting anywhere and everyone thinks i just gave up when i didnt. and i dont know. thar makes it sound like people actually see me and really are laughing or something when i dont think its nearly that much. i think its like oh people see me make that as a snap judgement and i fall out of existence again. and i dont know. it shouldnt matter but i feel so fucking strung out and exist between these instances only and idk. idk bro. im trying to be okay with it. but as im getting older i just feel like theres so many more things that are revealing themselves as worse and worse. and im going crazy. im going crazzzzzzyyyy . whatever . insert the mental breakdown gifs . the funny ones where those guys aremoving really fast
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