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Comme Des Garçons — Autumn 2004

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12/20/24

i’ve been protecting myself for too long. holding space for no one, under the illusion of doing the opposite. i held space for what i could handle, after years of holding space for people i shouldn't have. i'm not sad. how could i be sad at the opportunity for self liberation? liberation from myself, that is. i chose this, time and time again. yesterday i began to choose different. i am already liberated because i don't need. i only desire when life presents me with something to desire. no illusions, just what life serves me on a platter at 3:56 pm on a random Friday eve. a boy, a girl, a drone, a cat, a wine bar. i don't know what has happened this year, outside of letting go. the only way to be propelled toward any sort of real success seems to lie within one's ability to let go. this year was my big release. every year of my life has been a release, but this was the biggest. there's nothing that can hold me down now, nothing outside of myself. despite this being the biggest release, it's been the easiest. i know the feeling now, i know how to greet it when its shadow appears on the sidewalk. i say hello, i let it stay a while, maybe a minute or two. then i cross the street. pretty simple life has become. i want to make everything happen. the universe's fabric is finally giving way to let me through. i'm so grateful.

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Excerpt from Sexual Fantasies by Myriam Boulos

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Solid perfume by Le Labo

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artwork by Victoria Villasana

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Prada Collapse, SS25

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dazed & confused, issue 46, september 1998

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12/17/24

my album is what i am most proud of. once it's released, i can die happy knowing i made something beautiful.

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