#throw the whole OC away

[aapothic]

Shiori took the small orange pill in her hand, rolled it around for a second, then casually dropped it onto the table. A small retractable knife, no longer than her pinky finger, appeared in her palm, blade out. The flat of the blade went to work on the offered pill, turning it into a ugly orange-white powder. Finger to one nostril, head bent down, and quick, disgusting inhale eliminated (most) of the pill’s presence.

“Someone should work on making those things strawberry-flavoured, at least,” she joked, dabbing at the edge of her nose to make sure there was no powder left behind. “At least you won’t have to wait too long this way.” Not that she was sure he cared about her being comfortable either.

“If you wanted to do something horrible to me, you probably would have done it already, given the waves of annoyance radiating from you all evening.” She plopped herself into the chair and worked a few of the levers so she was slightly tilted back... and at his mercy.

“You figure it out, you’ll tell me right? No secrets?” She offered a curled pink... in the gesture of a promise? Hard to tell if she was being serious or making another joke.

"I do my best to limit my exposure to Essex to the moments when I have to make my reports to the Quiet Council - seeking him out for a good old fashioned chin wag about his little torture box is the very last thing on my mind." He'd rather shove a surgical tool into his own eye and twist until the pain stopped than subject himself to more of the fruit than was strictly required. He rather suspected Shiori felt the same.

Beast watched her, fingers curling around the edge of one of his lab desks in obvious anxiety, himself feeling mostly impatience - she could either submit to the procedure or leave, he had no time for her to be sitting around having a crisis. He had already fixed her wound, he owed her precisely nothing, and his offer to provide her with answers to questions she hadn't even known she had was a rare kindness, not to be abused.

But then, seemingly, she came to her senses, even if the question had him sighing. " You will need to remain at least semi-conscious for the procedure so that the instrument can record the electrical impulses from your eye to your brain without impediment. To fully anaesthetise or numb you would risk rendering the entire scan pointless. But . . . I suppose I can give you something, just to make sure you don't move and disrupt the integrity of the scan topography."

Beast rooted around in a drawer, pulling out a little orange pill that he offered her with a quirked brow. "Most people choose not to leave themselves unable to move in my presence these days. Your last chance to change your mind and leave approaches. Take it, or sit down in that examination chair."

[ivipl1]

You say sage quickly forgets their made up backstory. Does mirabelle ever catch on ? Does she ever confront them? Is there an a6se equivalent or does it happen earlier??? What's. What's that like

they're both soooo normal about it

[shalpilot]

confiding

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

[stfu-im-thinking-abt-blorbo]

Game Devs force Local Artist to make their Agent OC come out of self-imposed retirement and design a prosthetic arm for them against their will. More at 8.

Bro is NOT happy.

[tzufcallsmeshomps]

Just a moment of rest would be nice

[perpetuallyfive]

I thought fully catching up to One Piece would make me feel a little less obsessed, but it's somehow made it worse. I know I'm over a quarter of a century late, but oh man do I have it bad now.

Why does a part of me want to start a reread?

[arolesbianism]

Finally got around to designing some of the oldest members of the og magic cat world story, yknow only took me like 5 years fhfksgkfg

[xxiwantatacoxx]

I drew this so long ago but I’m still so proud of it. He looks so grumpy in the garbage but he probably deserves it

[mnemosyne-xiv]

“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰. 𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰.”

It was Remia’s words that echoed in her thoughts while she had drifted in that suffocating darkness. Even when the voices of their comrades pierced through the shadowed veil and reached her ears in distorted waves of sound, pleading with her to not surrender herself to the void Zeromus tried to drown her within, it was Remia’s words from before they returned to the Thirteenth that were the clearest of them all. The only words she needed for her to find the strength to continue her fight.

“𝘕𝘰 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵.”

Zero’s steps slowed to a stop. The long stretch of stone floor that made up the vestibule of Golbez’s domain was laid out before her. The others had already returned to the moon’s surface while she had remained behind to speak with Golbez in private. Even Remia had followed the others after she had made sure the memoriate was alright, leaving her alone. It was, strange, to put it simply. Zero could hardly remember a time after she met Remia when she’s been truly alone. Usually the short, spiteful woman was somewhere close, or Zero herself would seek her out if she had wandered off. A terrible habit, she knew, but that never stopped her from searching for the voidmage.

Now she was all by her lonesome. Her gaze traveled from the stone floor up to the swirling clouds of fog that hid the depths of the domain from sight. Clad in ivory armor, her scythe broken only to be replaced by a sword and shield of ornate design, she stood still with her eyes trained above. She quietly watched the fog swirl and fade only for a new wave to come rolling in, her thoughts coming and going with the same ebb and flow.

There was something familiar in Remia’s words. She had heard something similar before. Back when the world was still rich with color and sound. Overflowing with life while the fires of war ravaged the land. Shortly before all was washed away by the deluge of darkness that devoured everything it touched. 

“𝘽𝙚𝙞𝙣’ 𝙖 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙖𝙞𝙣’𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙣’ 𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 ‘𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩? 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙨𝙖𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙨? 𝙃𝙚𝙝, 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙩. 𝙄 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙢𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣’ 𝙖 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤? 𝙉𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧. 𝙄’𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩. 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝘾𝙤����𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙖. 𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣’ 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧. 𝙃𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙨, 𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚! 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙄’𝙢 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙜𝙤��𝙣’ 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙡𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙖𝙢𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙, 𝙝𝙢? ‘𝘾𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪.”

When Zero’s eyes fluttered open, she was no longer alone. The click of Remia’s clawed shoes echoed from further outside the vestibule, growing louder with every step. A hint of a smile ghosted across the memoriates lips.

Perhaps she wasn’t a hero. Just as Mariella outright scoffed at those who tried to call her one, Zero now understood why she refused such a lofty title. And to think it took her this long to see that there was no hidden meaning to her words back then. That the last time she and Mariella spoke would be the first time Mariella had ever been wholly honest with her thoughts. Though that did leave Zero with a new question.

“Why did you tell me I wasn’t a hero?”

Remia rolled her eye when she stopped a few paces in front of her. “Why?” She repeated. “Because you’re clearly not a hero. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this for you to—”

“No,” Zero cut her off. “I mean, is there a reason you don’t want me to become a hero?”

That gave the voidmage reason to pause. And then the corners of her lips were curling into a sly grin. “Ah, so you finally asked the right question.” Her warm giggles echoed in the open space as she turned to start back the way she had come with a nonchalant skip in her step. “Judging by your thoughts, I daresay you already know the answer to that.”

“But you can’t read thoughts.”

“You’re right, I can’t. But I can sense your emotions and see glimpses of your memories.”

Zero caught up to the short woman with only a few long strides. “I still don’t understand.”

More giggles escaped Remia while she cutely peered up at her companion. “My favorite voidsent,” her grin softened into a genuine smile, her uncovered eye shimmering with a warmth Zero couldn’t quite place, “you’re the last memoriate with a good heart still capable of fighting for your home. Let’s not ruin that by having you dawn the mantle of ‘hero’ as well.”

“𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙤, 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙈𝙞𝙨𝙨 𝙈𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚?”

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

🎨 What do you think is your most creative whump idea?

❌ What’s your controversial whump opinion?

🥊 Can you beat any of your OCs in a fight?

-verkja

Thank you for the ask! From this ask game.

🎨 What do you think is your most creative whump idea?

Eh. I wouldn't call the whump part of my stories particularly creative? 🤔 At least not the physical one. Wohoo, knife, burns, bruises. Groundbreaking.

I thought Finn's story was neat, then half of figuwhump was poses like straight out of it and now I am pouting (not serious).

I do like the recurring theme of Glass (Shards) hurting people, emotionally and physically. Damien is not good enough for his father, he cuts himself when cleaning up/breaking things, he burns himself while working with it, he cuts himself on his weapon while defending Merry, his brother throws a bottle at him, etc.

Honestly, there's a chance one or two more occurrences will sneak in when I finally get to editing.

Also makes it more fun that the fluff happy ending contains Glass Shards :)

❌ What’s your controversial whump opinion?

A few likes and dislikes lists I see here make me wonder if some people a) ever consume any kind of mainstream media, or b) refuse to read anything that does not 100% tickle their fancy, or c) vastly overestimate the severity of much of the tagged content here.

It's become a joke for me to point out pretty much every single intro I come across to my friends, and what disqualifies my work in the self proclaimed torture fandom — most of the stuff I had no problem showing to my mom and coworkers, because the content (if not the focus) is not uncommon in fantasy!

If I'd only read things that 100% check all my boxes without a single part I find boring or even icky — I'd be not reading anything, I think.

🥊 Can you beat any of your OCs in a fight?

Josephine's firstborn 😆 He's like 4.

[viiisenyas]

If my brain disrupts my plot with a new idea that changes the entire story ONE MORE TIME

[thundertide]

✼, ❝ ❞, ✄, ◑ The last two for Kag, Saiki, and Cee especially <3

It's Munday~! <3

✼ When it comes to worldbuilding, what are some ideas you’d like to explore in rp?

The units under the Fatui control, for one. I know we've talked about this recently, but I'd love to explore more of the ranks of the Fatui? I want to explore more about Snezhnaya, how the Knights of Favonius work in Mondstadt, how Northland Bank works and continues to operate in Liyue especially after the AQ there- How exactly does the Akademiya work, with more detail? On top of that, all these gods and beings that 'once existed in Teyvat', I want to explore all of that! <3

And while I know we have some plans already in the works that link up ridiculously well, there's just so much that gets left as either a mention or never expanded on, or even just dropped after being made out to be a big deal at first (like the Akademiya, we get to know so much about the security but not how the school itself really runs? The ages of the students, how people are sorted into darshans, etc? Why is a darshan a big deal and people talk about which one they want to be in, but never tell us how people get sorted into them or if they choose their own?), and it's never gone back to. I want to expand on these? I want to make them make sense and be able to explore it so that writing threads and drabbles and such is easier to understand and follow, but I also LOVE linking things together and it making sense from a canon perspective, too. Which is why I have so many plans in the background I'm not going to explain here for Reasons(tm) >w> <3

But yeah, I have a lot of ideas that all revolve around filling in gaps for completed plotlines and how my muses fit into these gaps, or how they affect the muses, and that's why I'm starting to come up with worldbuilding tags~!

❝ ❞ Is it easy for you to write dialog for your muse? Do their speech patterns come naturally to you while writing?

Yes and no! For Kagota, it's super easy? She can be super blunt and blurt things out as they come to her mind, and she's more calm with Childe and her unit and their family, but Kag doesn't often think for long before she speaks unless she needs to be cautious with her words, or she's relaxed. And for the most part, this applies to most of my muses - They're chill and reasonable and while mostly they think more than Kag does before they speak, their dialogue and way of speaking is very easygoing, and it's pretty natural to write them.

But there's certain muses I'm not as in tune with, and those are usually the ones that're newer or I haven't written in a while, resulting in dialogue specifically being a little harder to write - ESPECIALLY canons. Thoughts, mannerisms, actions... Those are still easy to write either way, but if they're a newer muse or one I haven't written for a while, it's harder to get back into writing/learning how to nail their dialogue and not making them sound like a cardboard cutout, or exactly like another muse of mine - And this is doubly so with canons, who're more difficult for me to learn how to write in general. Muses like Rosalee and Mizuki are a little harder right now because they haven't been around as much, while Ayaka is just because she has a very specific way of speaking I haven't completely figured out yet, too, but I'm learning and working on this. <3

Tl;dr: No if they're a muse around fairly often, yes somewhat if they're a brand new muse or if I haven't written them in ages. <3

✄ What is an idea you originally had in mind for your muse, but ended up scrapping? Why?

For Kag, that was actually how I started writing her - That she and Childe just couldn't stand each other and yet somehow fell in love despite a lowkey relationship brewing in the background for a while. She was also a lot more of an asshole for the general sake of being an asshole, bucking literally every authority figure she could, and was from somewhere else in Snezhnaya, far from Morepesok. I originally was thinking of keeping her more magic aligned than sword, a nod back to her origins years back for a totally different series I like, but... That got dropped super quick, too, right along with the idea of making her just a random side soldier. A lot of this really got shelved because Kag grew as a character pretty quick, though, and was all because I was still new to the game when I added her into things, so it's more like the entire original version of Kag got scrapped instead for one far more fleshed out and detailed. <3

For Saiki, when I first created her, she was far more of a 'I'm not listening to anyone and doing what I want' kind of girl? So when I originally added her to a different blog, I kept a part of that intact, making her more independent and on her own, and basically making her 'that knowledgable camper you find when lost in the woods who helps you get home', and more earth-alligned. The earth/Geo allignment got scrapped pretty early on, but I can't say the 'knowledgable camper' part did completely - she's still smart and really skilled at being on her own? But she's evened out in her temperment, and the 'I'm FINE ALONE' side got scrapped completely for something softer and more easygoing.

Also a fun fact: Saiki was originally made with her 'I'm looking for my twin!' backstory for the Soul Calibur series, but got that standoffish "I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT' personality scrapped HARD before I ever put her on any blog, not just here. Major rehauling happened and has continued to happen to make her the Saiki she is now, a MUCH better and stable character. <3

Cettra though... Cee is kind of a special case in that I originally made her yeaaaaaaars back as a character for a friend's ( @velveteenlop ) story she was writing, based around wolves and shapeshifting. From what I remember, the story itself didn't get too far off the ground, it's been a looooong time since she started it, but Cee's entire mature but lowkey silly and kind of 'well if you won't then I WILL' mentality got roundabout adjusted to the more playful and silly but reasonable and concerned wolf she is now. There's still remnants of the original 'Cee' in there in how she acts when serious, keeping her mature and focused outlook in place, but everything else got not quite scrapped, but more adjusted into a shapeshifter who just wants to live, and the original story that friend was writing got scrapped overall, with permission to take Neil alongside the shapeshifting wolf ideas granted a few years later.

Neil on the other hand... Cee's backstory got entirely scrapped and rewritten alongside her brother's personality with only a few nods to the original left, and I was going to rewrite Cee into being a totally human form only youkai with a tail and wolf ears, but... Nah. <3

◑ What is a side to your muse you want to show off, but haven’t had the chance to yet?

For Kag, that's more of her abyssal side, but also her with her loved ones overall. She's always with Childe and I love that, but I want a chance to show off her with her kids, with Kyr, Ren and Rei... I want to show off her with her unit and her feelings towards them, and just how much of a big sister/mother figure/guardian she can actually be. I'd also love to show off her more work-focused side and how she tends to her job despite her feelings towards it, and how she actually works, but also I'd LOVE to explore and show more of her feelings towards her abyssal abilities and the tightknit bond she actually has with Childe, Leandros, and Kalistratos as a small group. Some of these we've started showing off but they get a little sidetracked? Or I don't get to delve as deep into them as I'd love to? But that's definitely some Kag I'd LOVE to show and explore more <3

I'd also love to explore/show more of Saiki with the Kamisatos and her comfort and relaxation with her found family and husband. I want a chance to get to show Saiki's braver, bolder side, her ability to stand on her own and deal with things, how she deals with the stress and strain of being the bearer of her mother's actions when they can't get to her mother... I want to show just how much she's grown since marrying Thoma and finding a home and work within the Yashiro Commission. I also want to show how much of a big sister she is with Gaming and let the siblings reunite in full (she'll never be sorry Heizou <3) and how well she can/does/could work with Heizou? She's finally on her feet after recent events again, so I'd love the chance for her to be able to show it while she navigates "I'm learning who Saiki is" and "what's okay for me to do/say, actually" over a lot of things~!

As for Cettra, I want to show her more serious side, be it dealing with family stuff, working with Heizou, of dealing with Neil and her clan hunting her down. She's so much more than just this goofy dork of a wolf who chases chickens and loads them up into the house to get them out of the rain and such, so I'd love the chance to show more of that? There's been a few signs of it, like her debates with Heizou and when he questions her to test the skills she's been learning, but I'd absolutely love to get to show off any side of her that isn't 'no, I didn't sleep with the local sheep and then spook a Nobushi into jumping into a stream for fun'. XD Don't get me wrong, goofy wolf is a BLAST, but I wanna let those around her see she's not just a dork living off fun, too! <3

[frick-it-sugar-spice]

........

[asterdeer]

flopping back and forth between publishing one story or other on royal road (legitimate, easy to use, not embarrassing, also very intimidating, i am terrified of taking up space in a Legitimate Arena) OR wattpad (humiliating, i do not value myself but even i think i'm above that, but also much less stressful because i know i'll probably be in the top 10% of writers by virtue of not being 16)

[onlyswan]

summary: in which there is never enough time to be in love but jungkook is a 24/7 lover. (part one)

idol!jk x afab!reader / fluffy fluff with a dash of angst / word count: 3.6k

warnings/content: jungkook takes a day off and surprises oc <3 ; he's veryyy touchy; he gives oc's boobie a lil bite lol this guy ; s*xual innuendos; one (1) spank; oc comforts him :(; bam is home too!!; family is complete

→ in which masterlist!

note: smth short and sweet so i can recover from dreamboat loool missed my babies sm <3 as always reblog and/or feedback is very much appreciated! <3

p.s. i'm also redoing my iw taglist so pls comment/send an ask if you want to be (re)/added!

—

“baby? i’m home.”

you’re confident to say that you’d never mistake jungkook’s voice for anyone else’s. and on that note, you must be dreaming of him— the voice of an angel, the calloused palms cupping your cheeks… the audible and damp kisses delicately being peppered all over your face. everything feels so real. too real. just like how it used to be.

it hasn’t been long since you last saw him. you communicate and meet whenever it’s possible, no matter how short the time he is allowed to dedicate. still, you miss him all the time, everyday. you keep telling yourself it’s not that bad. time is passing by faster than you feared. but this whole set-up is foreign and daunting. and you miss him. you miss him all the time. that must be why you’re dreaming. 

when you open your eyes in the morning, you’ve come to expect nothing more than the view of the plain white ceiling, or the sunlight peeking from behind the curtains. 

so why are you gawking at jungkook’s face?

he smiles from ear-to-ear, bunny teeth and crinkles around his eyes— you can’t be mistaken. it’s him. it feels as though your heart has been shocked and revived. 

“jungkook!” you gasp.

you startle your own self when you abruptly throw your arms around him. he tries to hold you up, but you’re far too ecstatic for your own good, inexplicable joy thrumming in your veins and fireworks bursting in your ribcage. you squeal and jump up and down on the bed like a little kid on christmas morning; jungkook hugs you back tighter than he has ever done before, protecting you from the fall and crash.

“oh my god, you’re here! you’re here!”

“yes, i’m here-” he laughs in amusement. “ow shit, settle down- wow, it’s so early. why are you so energetic-”

“i missed you!” you briefly pause for oxygen. “so much! i’m never letting go of you again!” 

“wow!” he makes a dramatic wheezing sound. “that much, baby? you missed me that much?” 

“that much!” 

you draw back with a pout, just enough so you can look at each other, nodding your head probably too fast— you’re almost dizzy. adrenaline tide calming into waves, you’re catching your breath.

are you certain that this is not your imagination playing tricks on you?

“you’re here…” you slowly say. it’s only registering to your whiplashed brain. there is barely any feeling in your arms as you touch his face, an attempt at separating wishful thinking and reality. “why are you here?”

“why else?” he grins toothily. “because you said you were missing me.” 

your attempt at forming words is rudely interrupted. he steals a kiss, this thief… hard and hungry, keeping you in place by his palm cradling the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair. 

he pulls away with a satisfied hum, tongue darting out to swipe over his lips. “and because i was missing you more.” 

for a moment, you gaze at each other in silence. you’re still neck deep in disbelief and euphoria. that kiss took your breath away. under the circumstances, you shall yield and admit that he misses you more. he requests for developed photos of you when you come visit. that’s something you never imagined you’d have to do. 

he tries to tame your messy hair, smoothing it down until he’s holding your cheeks lovingly. “i mean, what else was i supposed to do? i miss waking up to this pretty face everyday.” 

you pucker your lips in response, demanding for a kiss. this earns a chuckle from him before he grants your wish. an unintelligible noise of joy escapes your mouth as you jump and hug him again. it is shortly followed by a yelp when he whisks you off the bed without warning, spinning you ‘round and ‘round… ‘round… and ‘round… and…

your laughter soon transforms into horror. 

“jungkook!” you scream with your eyes squeezed shut and your legs curled around his waist. “okay! stop it! i’m getting dizzy!” 

the crazy bastard keeps on giggling as if he doesn’t hear a thing. you always expect these reunions to be so emotional, but when jungkook is here, it feels as though he never left.  

“jungkook!” 

you hook your leg around his, causing the two of you to collapse on the soft mattress. you land on top of him with a whimper. you breathe out a sigh, relieved that the nausea-inducing ride is over.

“that was fun.” he speaks next to your ear; the sensation makes you squirm. 

“it was,” you push yourself up to search for more air, a little sweaty after yours and jungkook’s hyperness took control of your bodies. “for the first five seconds.” 

you’re now properly straddling him, ass on his crotch. it’s accidental, but nothing new. nay, comfortable. this level of proximity won’t feel like intimacy with somebody else. goddamn, you missed your boyfriend so much. 

a big, sleepy yawn zaps your attention from him. you cover your face with both hands, wandering into the darkness for a little while. you find that your mind is devoid of any thought. perhaps you’re more overwhelmed than you let on. 

“missed this view too…” he reveals amidst the haze, a distinct change in the tone of his voice. 

there they are— the butterflies in his stomach, slaves to you and only you. he breathes through his parted lips as he caresses your thighs with tenderness bleeding from his fingertips, your skin so smooth and soft in contrast to his calloused palms. his lips curve into a drunken smile when you graze his greedy hands, as though granting them permission, before they slip inside the magenta velvet of your night dress. the material bunches over his forearms as he reaches for your hips. it leaves almost nothing to the imagination (in his case: memory). his attention is stolen by your cotton panties. light taupe. decorated by white polka dots. 

“this one’s new.” he comments.

you peer down to figure out what he meant. right, he’s never seen this before. “surprise! you like it?”

“yes, it’s cute.” he toys with the little ribbon at the center of the waistband. “you rarely get this color.”

“thanks. i think my taste is changing.”

“really?”

“mhmm…” 

his hands venture up to your waist, kneading at the flesh and reacquainting with the feel of you. he’s been pissed off at the thought of forgetting what it feels like to touch you, knowing your body like the back of his hand. he hasn’t been away from you for extended periods of time since their last tour. that was years ago. 

for maximum comfort, he sits up and pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. “let’s move here.” he carries you with him, back comfortable leaning against the headboard, while you remain sitting pretty on his lap. “bam was sleeping on my side of the bed when i arrived.”

“huh…?” you blink. 

“you didn’t know?”

you shake your head innocently, a tad distracted by your eyes roaming his naked torso. he looks absolutely ravishing as ever. did something already change from the last time you saw him? 

“i tucked him into his bed last night.”

you visited bam at the training facility after work yesterday, but he kept trying to follow you as you were leaving. your fragile heart caved and you brought him home for the weekend. you texted jungkook about it but he didn’t respond; as much as that made you sad, you figured he was just tired or he used his phone time to talk to his family. 

you spent the whole night playing with bam and watching his favorite dog entertainment channel on youtube. the house wasn’t dead silent for once. you fell asleep together on the couch until you woke up at 2am and tucked him and yourself into your respective beds. it was easy to fall back to sleep after, but it felt weird that you didn’t need an audiobook or hours of calming sounds of nature. 

you’re not whining. there have been a lot of sunny and happy days. you have wonderful people in your life who act as your support system in their own unique ways, but jungkook and bam… they’re your family. you made your peace with no longer having one, but now that you’ve built your own, having to be apart from them makes your heart ache. 

“did he sneak in to sleep next to you? he does that now?” he makes a surprised face. “what’s this? i’m so jealous of him!”

a pinch in your heart. 

you try your best to conceal a frown, but your poor choice of words paints your disappointment. “you’re not-” you avoid his eyes. “staying the night?”

“yah, you don’t have to look so sad. i can stay, baby.”

“you can?” your face lights up. 

“for you, i’ll make it happen.” he cheeses, affectionately tapping the tip of your nose like it’s a button to make you smile. “i’m only working hard in there to earn more days off, you know that?”

that makes you frown.

“babe, don’t do that…” you whine, shaking his shoulders. “you don’t need to work so hard. only do what is required of you. i just want you to be healthy.”

“no… just let me.” he replies with finality. “i need… i need a reason. you’re the reason why i’m still hanging in there, and i don’t want to miss another anniversary.” 

he bats his eyelashes. 

“being your boyfriend is my favorite job in the whole world.”

and how are you supposed to argue with one of his most heart-fluttering, most wholesome lines yet? 

you sigh in defeat. “then you can rest when you’re with me.” 

“i love you.”

“i love you, too.” 

you lean in to kiss him, but are interrupted when he yawns. your forehead ends up resting against his as you giggle uncontrollably at the unexpected and hilarious view of his open mouth. 

“sleepy?”

he bows his head in embarrassment, body vibrating with laughter. “i couldn’t sleep because i was so excited. i wanted to talk to you last night but i was so sure i’d spoil the surprise.” 

“of course you couldn’t.” you giggle, removing yourself from his lap while tugging at the collar of his shirt. “come here. let’s sleep some more.”

you lie down on the bed facing each other. jungkook moans in contentment as you engulf him in your embrace, nuzzling his face against your chest. he can smell your body wash, sweet and clean. that— that isn’t new. every muscle in his body decompresses. he needed this, needed you. desperately. tremendously. you pull the thick and warm blanket over yourselves and he melts. while he wishes he was taller, he knows he is still of considerable height. he’s been bulking up, getting stronger than before too. but he doesn’t give a fuck about those at the moment. he’s not even aware. his body fits perfectly with yours— that’s all he knows. oh… he’s melting. but it doesn’t feel like he’s being reduced. he has everything to gain. this is heaven on earth.

he opens his eyes into an awful squint, faced by your cleavage spilling out from the neckline of your night dress. there’s this urge he can’t ignore. it’s not spelt out in his mind, he rather feels like his body is having a fit. next thing he knows, he’s carefully sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of the swell of your boob. he stays still for a few seconds, and then pulls away once he deems himself satisfied. he wipes your skin with his thumb incase he left some saliva, innocent eyes peeking up at you huffing out a quiet laugh. 

“you sure that’s all you needed?”

“i’ll devour you later.” he smirks, blinking sluggishly. “i’m tired but just you wait. i’ll go all night!”

“not if i beat you to it…” you tease, having plans of your own. you want to make him feel good. you’ve been going insane thinking about it. “missed you.”

“alright then, let’s do it at the same time.” he says suggestively. 

“you know i have a hard time focusing when we do that.” you huff.

“eh, so? not me.” he chuckles. “i think you do a really great job, though?”

“…still! go easy on me a little bit so i can do better.”

“it’s not a competition, baby.” he squeezes your waist affectionately. “plus, i don’t think i’d be able to control myself once i get a taste.”

“jungkook!” you whine, growing flustered. 

he laughs out loud, giving your ass a quick spank that resounds through the walls of the bedroom. 

it becomes silent again after that.

the tip of your nails graze his scalp with repeated movements, more so for your amusement, but he is practically purring. you can’t imagine your arm being a comfortable pillow either, but he is doing great at making it appear so.

“i realized something.”

“what is it?”

“i really can’t live without you.” he confesses earnestly, then looks up at you with raised eyebrows. “don’t say anything. i know you’ll say something like ‘yes, you can!’”

“i was not. i liked hearing you say it.” you stifle a giggle. “but i’m not going anywhere. you know that.”

“i don’t doubt that.” he sighs with a heavy chest. “sometimes i just get a bit worried that you’d get tired of waiting.” 

this isn’t the first time in your relationship that he’s voicing out this fear, but the difference between then and now is stark. with the disconnection, there was a part of you that expected it to resurface. 

“babe,” you gently tilt up his face, locking your sincere and love-filled eyes with his. “we’re okay. i’ve loved you since i was 18. this? this is nothing. you’re a part of me, so you’re always with me. and i know you keep me with you too.”

you wear a brave face. you hope that he believes your words as much as you do, because no matter how many boulders the universe throws down your path, all you ever think about is how you and jungkook will surmount them. together. he is your partner after all.

“we’ll get through it like we always do, baby boy.”

jungkook nods and smiles, doe eyes glittering. you love making that happen. “sorry, i think i scared myself when i read stories on the internet.” 

“our story is different!”

the two of you burst into a fit of giggles.

“no, seriously-” he cackles, a little breathless.

“we’re one of a kind!” you keep the joke running. you want to keep making him laugh, even if it’s only for a few seconds longer. 

“we’ve gone through so much bullshit. not everyone would fight as hard as we did!” jungkook passionately agrees with the same intensity. “you’re right, we always make it work. we’ll get through it like we always do.”

“trust me,” you charmingly implore him. “when was i ever wrong?”

“never!” he immediately shakes his head. “…atleast not about the things that matter.”

“okay,” you shrug. “i’ll take it.”

“goodnight kiss, please.” he cutely pleads.

wild guess: he went home to be babied. not that you’re complaining. this is miles better than having to wrestle him over who gets to be the big spoon. you love giving love. when your heart stops beating, it would be great to celebrate how much you were loved, but you also wish to be remembered as a person who gave love until their last breath. 

“goodnight, my love.” you coo, well aware that the sun has risen. 

you plant a tender kiss on his forehead. the complaint bubbling in his throat is swallowed when you lean in closer to reach his lips. with his wish fulfilled, he flutters his eyes closed and snuggles as close to you as possible, real and proper rest finally within his grasp. he basks in your warmth and the tranquilizing silence— his breathing steady and his heart at its calmest. beautiful things enter his mind. you are the sun on the first spring day; the clouds that go with him no matter the distance; the waves that kiss the shore and never fail to come back. he heals in places he didn’t know he was hurting. 

“hold on, where is bam then?”

“his house. i gave him some treats then he slept again…” his voice comes out muffled. he sniffles jokingly. “the reaction was kind of underwhelming. i think he didn’t miss me as much.” 

“of course he’d choose that over a human.”

“i bribed him too early.” he laments.

“wait…” he feels you come to a still. “i think he’s coming.”

he opens his eyes and copies you in focusing on the familiar sound of bam’s paws clicking against the floor. the mattress quakes and he lifts his head to find the dog climbing over your bodies. 

he’s seriously a large and tall dog. 

“bam, what are you doing here?!” 

bam tilts his head and stares back at jungkook, tail wagging as his dad laughs and pets him on the head down to his back. 

“he’s so adorable.” you squeal quietly, joining in and scratching under his chin. “i love you, bam.” 

bam’s eyes switch to you. he slowly lowers his head, giving your hand a tentative lick as if to show appreciation but he’s also worried that it would prompt you to stop.

“he’s gotten real heavy, huh?”

“he’s got some big muscles like you.”

“of course! he got it from me.”

jungkook’s proud smile drops a little. it morphs into pure fondness once bam starts sniffing at him. he yelps and dramatically falls back, wiping his wet cheek with the back of his hand, but it’s game over once bam pants with excitement. bam chases his face to attack him with his love language. 

you watch the scene from the sidelines, laughing so hard that your sides are beginning to hurt. you wish you were recording. you wish that you never forget this. 

“okay, okay! you’re happy to see me! i see that now!” jungkook laughs, squeezing bam in a tight hug for a moment. 

the dog still refuses to relent, however. they almost look like they’re fighting to the death but the truth is they’re just smothering each other with affection. unbeknownst to them, you make a pained face when one of them accidentally hits your arm multiple times. nevermind, they were definitely both culprits. 

“____! save me!” your boyfriend cries out.

he bulldozes through bam and shoves himself into the tiny space he previously, and peacefully, occupied minutes before. he’s squeezing you so tight, nearly crushing you as he laughs with tears in his eyes. they affectionately call it his elmo laugh, the fans, which you adore just as much. 

you see it before you hear it. bam makes that face when he’s about to bark. your hush comes out at the same exact second as his barking. 

“this is so chaotic!” you try to project your voice louder than everybody else’s. 

jungkook’s laughs quieter but harder, if that makes any sense. 

you have an arm around jungkook that holds him taut and protected, while the other is busy with getting bam to settle down. you slide your palm across his fur in repeated motions, focusing on the spots that cause his eyes to flutter in relaxation.

“shhh, bam. it’s still too early. let daddy rest first. we can tire him out again later, okay?”

he settles on top of your bodies again. he has stopped moving around, but then he makes that face again, and you really love your healthy sense of hearing. 

“behave, bam-” you playfully squeeze his cheeks together before scratching under his chin. “my cutie bam. you can do that for me, right? you’re a good boy! i’m sure you understand.”

he abandons the urge to bark, suddenly fixing his position so you can also scratch at his chest. you almost snort at how funny he looked obeying you on accident because he is begging to be petted.

“that’s right. good job, bam.” you coo, sending him a pleased smile. “you’re so smart. you listen so well.” 

you whisper to jungkook. “it’s so cute when it looks like he really understands what i’m saying.”

“it’s the way you talk to him.” he answers quietly, placing tiny kisses along your collarbone. “you’re so sweet.” he almost forgot how good you are with bam. he just fell in love with you all over again. 

“but it’d be cooler if he does understand me.” you hum, moving your hand on bam’s head. he finally decides to flop down then. he rests his head over your waist, eyes seemingly inching closer to sleepiness. you sigh in relief. “go to sleep too, baby.”

jungkook breaks the silence a moment later.

“…did you mean me or bam?”

“you!” you chuckle. 

“oh-” he laughs at his own foolishness. his arm that is supposed to be hooked around your waist rests over bam’s body instead. he ruffles the dog’s fur softly. “let’s all go to sleep.”

you let out a yawn in response to that. you sniffle, murmuring tiredly. “i love you, baby… your surprise made me so happy. i’ll make it up to you too.”

“i love you more…”

jungkook lifts his head and finds that you have closed your eyes. your chest rises and falls in a calm rhythm. bam is closely following you into dreamland. 

heavens, what he wouldn’t give so he could stay here forever and never leave again. 

his eyes are heavy with exhaustion, hot with sleepy tears, but he fights his own body to stay awake. with all his might, he gazes in awe at the beauty of a life with you. he wants to always remember what is waiting for him at home.