#writing commentary

[creativepromptsforwriting]

Another kind of diversity we need in writing is protagonists without love interests. Give me adults with full-fledged stories that don't include falling in love.

[did-i-do-this-write]

How to Support Writers During the Scourge of A.I. Bullshit

Do

Interact with us. Talk to us. Reach out to us. Many writers physically write for themselves, but they share for others. To build a community and connect with someone, to learn from them, and to make a genuine connection through something they've created. Comments, questions, rambling tags, they all mean that our writing reached someone who genuinely enjoyed it.

Share our work. This does not mean repost, this means reblog and/or send the link to friends and other potential readers. Some writers may have negative experiences with their work being shared on other platforms (such as discord), but reblogging is almost always appreciated so we can reach a wider audience. Even if you don't have anything to say or comment, it will help.

Ask questions. Many writers are dying to talk about the creative choices they made, the word choice they fought with until they got it just right, the details they added just HOPING someone would notice it. If you wish you could get more context/detail about a piece, odds are all you have to do is ask!

Treat us like humans (because we are). Crazy concept, right? The thing that terrifies me the most about all this is the potential that we take humanity out of the arts. We replace it with A.I. until human creativity becomes irrelevant because it's more convenient and more profitable.

We are not robots making content for your entertainment, we are people sharing stories to make genuine human connections and share our passions. Stories that take hours, days, months, even years of our lives to properly craft. We practice and study and learn so that we can express ourselves skillfully. Even when done as a hobby for fun, there is heart and energy and time put into the final draft.

And finally, Don't

Use A.I. for anything. Because the more it's used, the more advanced it becomes. The more advanced it becomes, the harder it will be to discern a genuine human touch between an A.I. regurgitating what it's been taught.

In the end, this is a plea. I'm begging you. Do not give A.I. the ability to replace us.

[thepenultimateword]

Skin Crawl Part Two

Part One

CW: bugs, shedding skin (the description has the possibility of grossing people out)

Hero pinched themselves hard in the thigh, managing to snap our of their gawking stupor.

Ok. This was real. Villain--their Villain--was here and a criminal and apparently in a relationship. Not that that mattered, it wasn't like they'd ever been anything anyway. It'd been 8 years, and Hero had gone on plenty of dates in that time too; it would be weirder if Villain hadn't, so smooth and beautiful and interesting as they were. And Hero was the one who cut contact, so they didn’t really care what Villain did or who with, though maybe they should be focusing more on the criminal part of things, namely the imminent danger they would be in if they were found out, not just as a member of the agency but as Hero.

"Y-you don't want to make an appearance?" Hero said, attempting composure. It was not their best work.

"And ruin all your hard work?" Villain said with a tsk. "Despite what you think, I'm not that ostentatious. Come."

Hero sauntered closer, uncomfortably aware of their longer gait. Shedding one's skin could do many things, but it could not alter height. Bones were stubborn, painful things to change. Most people didn't notice a few-inch difference, and slouching, heels, or any manner of things could hide it. A familiar face blinded even the closest of friends and family. After all, shapeshifting wasn’t exactly a go-to suspicion. But Villain knew. Eight years ago they'd gotten good at picking Hero out of a crowd. If anyone was to notice that Remy was too tall, it would be them.

They consciously shortened their steps.

Villain dropped into a seat behind their desk, tossing the moth wings to either side of them. Hero carefully stepped over the curling tails and hesitated behind the criminal's shoulder. They were even more breathtaking up close. Hero had to fight the urge to run their hand down the velvet stretch of one wing. When had they learned to extend their power this way? At least, Hero had to assume the new appendages were due to their power. Abilities tended to have more angles than expected when properly trained. Did that mean Villain had found a trainer? Hero couldn’t imagine it. Their old friend had been so sensitive about using their gifts in front of others, and they’d had no relevant career plans to motivate further development. Though obviously neither of those things were the case now with Villain a criminal and flaunting their buggy affiliation to the world. People could change a lot in 8 years. Maybe Hero just didn’t know them anymore.

Had they been standing here too long?

Lover, Hero! they snapped internally. You're their lover! Do something lovers would do!

Their insides twisted.

They had played lovers dozens of times in their career and all that role entailed. Stepping into another's skin was like stepping into another reality, completely separate from their own. It didn't matter what they did or said, it wasn't them. But suddenly the idea of touching Villain hitched their breath in their throat, and they knew that reaction didn’t come from being Remy.

They would not slip through the cracks in this mask.

Hero gently draped themselves across Villain's back, wrapping their arms tenderly around their neck and tucking their chin against their lean shoulder. Hopefully, Vilain couldn't feel their heart pounding violently into their leather duster.

The centipede on Villain's shoulder took the opportunity of a new nearby surface and skittered up Hero's cheek, tangling its long body between the strands of their hair.

"You can quit the act," Villain said, shrugging Hero off. "No one else is around."

Quit...

Hero's stomach dropped. Did Villain know? How long? When they touched them? Since they entered the room?

"I--"

"And yes, I've checked for cameras. I don't accept building rentals from your family without thoroughly looking it over first."

Hero blinked.

Wait.

No.

They weren't referring to Hero's act. They meant Remy's. Remy's act of affection. Because... Oh. Oh! The relationship was fake!

The relief was intense, unexpected, and quickly smothered. They had a job, and if Villain was a part of it, that was too bad, but it didn't change anything.

Hero hastily grasped for the little they knew of their cover's personality. They'd hosted this party, their family rented this building, and they looked great in a silver ribbon tie.

"Well,” they said sitting on the edge of the desk and crossing one leg cavalierly over the other. “You can never be too careful. Also bug." They tipped their head toward Villain. "Bug."

Villain sighed and parted Hero's hair with careful fingers, manicured nails just scraping their scalp, and plucked up the centipede by its squirming middle. Then, tipping their head way back, they swallowed the entire massive creature in one gulp.

“John Macias is here.” They held up a rose gold tablet to Hero’s face. The screen displayed several panels of camera footage taking place in and directly outside the building. “And Lottie Blake.”

Hero knew both those names. The first was a generous donor to the agency. His funds had bought them a new combat training gym and updated the medical wing. He'd hinted at making the donations more regular, so now he was invited to every banquet, award ceremony, and exclusive event the agency held; he had even been given an extensive inside tour of the facilities. The press and the higher-ups liked to make a big fuss over him, but somehow Hero had the impression he wasn't giving money out of the goodness of his heart. As for Lottie, she was an ex-hero turned celebrity. Hero had been a rookie when she stepped down from the role of team leader and agency posterchild and turned to modeling and influencing, so they'd never met personally. However, they had enough associates in common for Hero to know she had been well-loved.

"Ok, so what's next?” Hero said. The faster they figured out Villain's plan, the faster they could get out of this situation.

“Your favorite part," Villain said. "Shopping.”

***

Hero had been prepared for many things tonight, but they had not prepared to be kneeling on the floor of Lottie Blake’s walk-in closet, rapidly stuffing designer heels and dresses into a garbage sack.

"You take the upstairs, I’ll take the downstairs,” Villain had said once inside--a disconcertingly easy task since Miss Blake's security was with her at the gala. A few guards were posted at the door and around the perimeter of the glamorous building but none had thought it very important to look up.

Villain's wings were even more gorgeous unfurled, pitch black against the night except for a faint silver lining that caught the moonlight, creating a glimmering outline from underneath. If that wasn't enough, the things were enormous, even larger than Villain's armspan. Hero supposed they would have to be to get them into the air, especially holding Hero under the arms. Once again, Hero had feared exposure by the difference in weight, but Villain hadn't said anything.

Inside there had been cameras, but a swarm of ants could look an awful lot like static when they crawled right against the lenses.

Hero shoved one more pair of glittery heels into the sack and then crawled to the closet door, peeking out into the bedroom to ensure they were alone. Finding the room empty, they fished their earpiece out of their pocket and pressed the call button.

"Hero?" came Other Hero's voice.

"So I figured out the heist," Hero said. "It's a robbery. The gala is just a distraction for both Lottie Blake and John Macias while Villain breaks into their houses."

"Seems like a lot of work for something as simple as a robbery."

Hero shrugged but then realized that Other Hero couldn't see them. "Maybe. I'll keep you updated when I find out what Villain is stealing. They're downstairs." A sudden image of the other agency members bursting in flashed across Hero's mind. Shoving Villain down. Crumpling those long moth wings like tissue paper. Revealing themselves as Hero. They suddenly felt nauseous. "I should probably stay undercover for as long as I can. That way I can gather more info."

Other Hero paused. "If you're up to it, I won't complain. But we can't just let criminals rob prominent agency affiliates."

Not if they wanted to continue getting donations.

"I think we should allow at least one hit, so Villain doesn't get suspicious," Hero said. "But we're going to have to come up with a plausible reason to alert Macia's security. One that doesn't involved Villain getting arrested."

"Leave that to me," Other Hero said. "You work on keeping your cover."

The call cut off, leaving Hero in anxious silence on the closet floor.

"Remy."

Hero's stomach leaped and they peeked out of the closet a second time. Villain stood in the bedroom door, carrying nothing but an apple.

They took a large bite and jerked their head behind them. "Ready?"

Hero pushed themselves to their feet and swung the garbage sack over their shoulder."Yeah. Let's go."

Villain peered at the sack as they headed out onto the bedroom balcony. "Quite the haul this time."

"You said to take the upstairs, so I took the upstairs." Hero gave them another quick once over. "Did you get everything you wanted?"

Villain fished a sleek black thumbdrive out of their pocket, rolling it over their fingers with a smile. "You could say I'm satisfied."

Not just any robbery then. But what info could Lottie Blake have that a criminal wanted. She wasn't exactly secretive. In fact, she seemed to enjoy flaunting every little detail of her life. Perhaps it was bank account information? Or past hero records?

No, they shouldn't overthink, all in good time.

"Good," they said.

Villain shoved the drive back into their pocket and stepped up behind Hero, casually wrapping their arms around their middle. Hero held their breath.

Calm down, calm down. You are Remy. Remy is not in love with Villain. Are they?

Villain's chest pressed sturdy and warm against Hero's back as they unfurled their wings, and that second pair of arms, or legs, grabbed their hips, securing them completely as they took flight. Hero had been too focused on their weight the first time to notice just how much care Villain put into transporting them comfortably, no dangling lower-half or painful pressure on one point of their body. Villain had always been thoughtful that way, not that anyone back at school recognized it.

What would it have been like to do this back then? To be held as themself. Before the secrets. Before the fallout.

"Do you ever get tired of it?"

"What?" Villain said.

"Being able to fly. Is it just normal for you? Or is it always amazing?"

"I thought it made you sick?" Villain said.

Hero choked. "Right. It does. But objectively, flying is amazing. So I was just curious. Forget it."

Villain's wing movements were soundless. And along with the long pause, all Hero could hear was the breeze brushing past their ears. Great. They'd screwed up.

"It's always amazing," Villain said suddenly. "I'm not saying I don't take it for granted, but if I was to ever lose this... It would be unbearable."

Villian had always been trapped in their life. In more ways than one. By parents, by circumstances, by expectations. Even if Hero was tricking them right now, possibly leading them into another cage, they were happy that Villain had found some freedom. Is that what had turned him to crime? A search for freedom?

"Villain--"

"Crap." Villain pulled up higher into the sky. Blue and red lights bathed the entire street in flashing blue and red.

Hero cranked their neck back to look up into their frowning face.

"How did they figure out we were coming?"

"Do you think someone saw us at Lottie's house?"

"Maybe. But even so, I don't know how they would've figured out our next target."

"Coincidence? For all we know everyone was tipped off, not just Macias."

Villain didn't respond to that. They just sighed heavily. "Well, that's that ruined."

"What do we do now?" Hero asked tentatively. "Go back to the party?"

"No point. The heroes probably have set up a trap. Hotel?"

Hero's insides went electric. Did Villain not have their own place? What about Remy? Didn't they have a rich family? But the way he was asking made it sound like a plan, not spontaneity. Great, Hero really hadn't wanted to wear this skin overnight.

"Hotel." Hero agreed. "But when you say that, you mean two separate rooms, right? Because you know I need my space--"

"You have your room, Remy."

"Ok, ok, just making sure."

A few minutes later, Villain landed them in an alley. They walked the rest of the way to a hotel just up the block. Not too shabby, but nothing extravagant either.

"Give me your jacket," they demanded just before reaching the door.

"What?"

"Your jacket. Unless you want thrown out before we even check in. People don't always take kindly to a bugman walking through their door. Especially hotels."

"Right!" Hero quickly shrugged off their wool, black coat, and passed it over to Villain. Villain threw it gingerly over their shoulders. It was a bit small for them, so the woman at the desk stared at them a bit strangely, but Hero supposed it was better than moth wings and an extra pair of legs.

Rooms 203 and 204. They walked together up the flight of stairs, stopping just outside their doors.

"I'll check the drive tonight and let you know what I've found in the morning," Villain said.

Or Hero could find out now and report it to Other Hero before morning.

"I could help."

"Ha! No offense, Rems, but I don't trust you with my laptop. You've broken my technology one too many times."

"Ah, well, I offered. Don't complain that I didn't help tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Remy," Villain said, rolling their eyes.

Hero knew that Villain wasn't talking to them. Not really. But for a moment it was so reminiscent of their teenage years. Staying up late. Not wanting to go back to either home.

Their heart squeezed. "Goodnight."

They gently shut the door and let out a long breath as they trudged over to the bed, flopping down face first.

What a nightmare. They couldn't wait to be back in their own skin. They forced themselves off the bed and into the shower where the evidence would wash away quicker. They stripped out of their clothes and rolled their muscles gingerly feeling the skin loosen like wet plaster. It sloughed off in dead sheets, revealing a more freckled skin beneath. Within a few minutes they were back to themselves again, They grabbed a towel from the hook, leaving the water running to break up the shed skin and wash it down the drain.

As they exited the bathroom, Hero dragged the table chair to the vanity and surveyed their face in the mirror. They tugged gently at a stubborn piece of skin, half-peeled under their right eye.

Next, they rubbed at their throat ponderingly, weighing pros and cons. Eventually, they decided to leave the vocal cords intact. Their throat might feel weird and cottony in the morning but hacking up bloody tissue was the last thing they wanted to do right now. Not to mention they’d just be shifting right back tomorrow. Best not to put too much strain on them by overshifting

A loud rap on the door made them leap in their seat.

"Just--just a second!"

They looked rapidly around the room. Clothes…clothes… Where were their clothes?

Hero scrambled toward the bathroom, snatching up water dropped outfit, chasing as the fabric caught on their damp skin. After a lot of hopping and maybe also a bit of fabric stretching, they strode to the door.

They were already grabbing the handle when they remembered their face.

The bit back another curse, and their face exploded with prickles as the newly shed skin encased them once again. Just in time to meet Villain’s off-in-thought face.

Their expression snapped back to alertness with the creak of the door.

"Hey, Remy--"

They froze.

"What?" Hero said, heart pounding. Was the face wrong? They’d spent so long studying it today, surely it wasn’t wrong?

"You're bleeding."

Hero felt their face. Sure enough, a warm streak of blood smeared across their forehead.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Oh, yeah. Just cut myself. You know...shaping my eyebrows."

"Right..."

Hero pressed their palm over the tear and with their other arm leaned casually against the frame. "Did you need something?"

Villain stared at them a moment. "Just curious if you wanted something from the vending machine. I'm asking the desk for an extra pillow and thought I'd grab some drinks or snacks or something on my way back."

"Uh, yeah, sure. Maybe a Coke?"

Villain smiled. “Sounds good. I’ll be back in a couple minutes.” They paused. “I’ll bring back a bandaid too.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“Sure.”

As they stepped away, Hero quickly shut the door. Had Villain reacted strangely? Were they overthinking because of their close call?

Hero sped to the mirror turning their head from side to side. Yep, still exactly like the picture, well except for the cut across her forehead.

There would have been no reason to question them, right? They probably didn’t need to call Other Hero and worry them over nothing.

Hero sat back on the bed, only vaguely annoyed that they’d need to rushed part of their body all over again. The annoyance was eclipsed by the gnawing worry inside of l them. They really hoped they hadn’t gotten anything wrong,

[octoir]

does....does anyone else struggle to write in British English? I know, objectively, that there is no "correct" style of English and that that belief is what starts wars...but also I just had to write out the word "paralysed" and something inside of me just died

[clickerflight]

Working on your notes properly is wild. You have reveal of your own secrets to yourself and at the end of the day you're looking through it all and going "Sure, why not add aliens to my heros and villains story? It'll be fun!"

[runofthemillwill]

[souplups]

are you doing nanowrimo? want to join a discord server of people who are also doing nanowrimo (or just other writers) to keep each other accountable and also maybe make some friends? well i have the server for you!

[viiisenyas]

I didn't expect to make a certain canon character a father figure to my depressed oc but here we are I guess.

[nerdishwrites]

Hi, I’m Sanam! I’m a new writeblr. I usually write Fantasy, Romance, Sci-Fi, Historical Fiction and Asian inspired short stories. I’m hoping to use this year to get back into writing and work towards publishing my own short story collection or novel.

I also write fanfics on the side (TLC fics on my book blog as well as a Loki and Mass Effect fic on my Ko-Fi). If you write in the same genres or just love writing cute fictional characters in general, I would love to get to know you all!

Looking to make some writeblr friends! ❤️

[alynnl]

Me during Turnabout Goodbyes: I'm going to come up with so many Wrightworth plot bunnies they'll become my next OTP fic inspiration!

Me during all of Ace Attorney Investigations 1: I'm going to come up with so many gen case fics that have way too many details for me to possibly write, but it's okay because Miles Edgeworth is here to solve another mystery!

[firehananas]

Writing commentary - 2023 edition

Amont of works published this year : 42 (+4)

Fandoms :

Pokémon (3) -> Sword and Shield : (1) (mulitchapters, 4 chapters published, ongoing) -> Legends Arceus : (1) (multichapters, 12 chapters published, ongoing) -> Other media/AU : (1) (multichapters, 2 chapters published, ongoing) |-> New chapter for BRA (+1 chapter published, ongoing)

Hogwart Legacy (1, multichapter, 2 chapters published)

Ongoing : 16 (total) Complete (this year) : 0

Okay ! So, much less writing this year, uh. That being said, last year was very experimental and most of my working this year are longer fics.

A lot of things changed in my life, and namely two jobs (since I quit the first I've got in last January) and leaving my parent's home. It's exciting, tiring, confortable and frustrating depending of the days. But yeah, I've got less time as a whole, especially since my first job was so close to my apartment, I didn't have much transport. And less transport mean I can't get confortable enough to write (plus my mom was sometime in the bus than I, so I wasn't going to ignore her because 'I prefer to write, sorry' lol). At home, I bond a lot with my roommate with some silly things on TV (be it YouTuber or Disney movies), so I didn't have much time either...

BUT! With my new job who is farer, I should have much more time :) and it's already showing! I didn't include it because it isn't published yet, but I have a big strike of inspiration lately on Fire Emblem Fates and I have managed to write nonetheless than 6 chapters in less than two weeks, which is amazing. I hope I'll keep going like this before AO3 deadline of draft! :D

On the things I did, well. I continue my fic on Alistair's prequel but didn't manage to write the 5th chapter because I'm unsure of which POV I should take. I'm undecided yet, but I'll have to get it back eventually.

Mille nuits et quelques rêves may seems ambitious because I project to write 1000 chapters, but some of them are really shorts. It's easy to write, but I start to lack chapters. I must get going on it soon (and get to the most interesting chapters 'cause for now it's mostly atmospheric. The Darkrai didn't really show themself yet, but they are a protagoniste, I swear!).

L'odeur du sang is heavily related to Le Baron Rouge : Autodafé as it's a backstory of one of the futur characters Gvidon will met. And she'll have a huge impact on him. Speaking of him, I have actually a second chapter to deliver soon for BRA too. Things are going smoothly for it and I'm so happy. It's a huge project for me as it tag me along in my adulthood, and I want to deliver the entire story I have for my slavic Bisharp.

And the last fic is in anonymous lol, so I won't talk about it. I'll just said that I enjoyed the Slytherin boys and a lot of the game taste like wasted potential.

Like Fire Emblem : Fates.

Lmao.

[arijensineink]

書きました！

Forgot to update but I got EVERYTHING on my to-do list from yesterday DONEEEE!!!! Honestly there is something magical about when I put it on Tumblr, which is truly ironic, because once upon a time had a destructive addiction to this website! Haha!

Anyway today I had an awesome VC with my discord server and afterwards typed up a story I wrote a couple months ago. All in all a reasonable evening!

Also got another new newsletter subscriber today which is very o m g for me そ if you're reading this thank you so muchhhh<33333

Here's the link if you're interested > Common Ink

How was everyone's Friday? Got any big weekend writing plans? I sure do hella man I've got so much writing to do its insane.

[late-nite-scholar]

So I'm writing a story right now. It has some horror vibes but I decided against the hardcore horror ending where both main characters die in a very horrible way (now only one does). It now has a more positive ending where the surviving character goes home, but they're changed and so they can't go back to how it was and so on.

I also changed a secondary character because I didn't want to do the trope of creepy older hillbilly that's vaguely sexually threatening and off-putting. So I scrapped that for a younger hillbilly (affectionate) that's not good with people but a decent person.

The only problem now is that my character that will survive and this hillbilly have met and they're being surprisingly cute. And that wasn't the plan. I still gotta get the horror-ish vibes but this cute stuff is unexpected.

See this is why I firmly believe that I don't tell the story, I'm just the conduit for the characters to tell their stories through.

[thepenultimateword]

Spooktober Prompt #3

"What...are those?" the private detective said, leaning in closer to the angry prick marks in the victim's throat. "Some sort of injection? Or minor stab wound?”

The officer crouched beside them, spreading the holes apart with gloved fingertips. With their other hand the shook out a cotton swab and evidence bag, throughly swabbing the circumference of the wounds. "Fang marks."

The detective blinked. "What? Like from an animal?"

"Textbook vampire, but always good to take a sample just in case."

"Wait, vampire? What-- Is this a prank? Because it’s not funny. This is a murder scene.”

The officer raised their brows. “Skeptic, huh? We don’t get many of those around here. Didn’t that client of yours explain anything?”

[comingyourlugubriousness]

The Diamond in the Rough and the Boy without a Fairy

OK JUST COMPLETED PART 2!!!

And I have so many things I just want jot dot down my reactions to some of the lines

• Obviously the Legend of Zelda quotes 💕💕

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN BOTH HOW BOTH TDRBF AND SORTED INTO SAVANACLAW CONNECTS WITH EACH OTHER THROUGH OUT THE STORY! I know it would've been inevitable for it to happen BUT STILL! The mention of Jack's injury...ahh I hope he feels better

I SWEAR TO JEBUS FROM PART 1 AND PART 2 THESE GODDAMN PAUSES

MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. IT CATCHES ME OFF GAURD SO MUCH!

"Sebek was yelling his head off, arguing with Silver that HE should be teaching him proper riding teaching instead. Pause." LIKE...PUMPKIN☠️☠️

Also LITTLE CRUSH CRUSH WITH KALIM!? I mean shit I would too- ANYWAYS! That's so cute! Idia is probably kind of grumbling at the thought though

HE WOULD LOWKEY BE LIKE: Hmph it's always the rays of sunshine that captures your attention... LIKE THE JELLY MF HE IS I KNOW IT!

AUGH YUME AND KALIM'S DYNAMIC!!!!!!!!

VARGAS IF YOU DONT SHUT YO CRIMSON CHIN LOOKING ASS UP AND LET YUME AND KALIM HUG!!! 

Ok KALIM JUST GO ON AND MAKE ME CRY WHY DON'T YOU!

Goddamn Azul it is not the time 

I FORGOT I WAS STILL HOLDING MY BREATH FROM THE WHOLE YUME ALMOST DYING THING

The chat logs will always remain superior throughout this story

BLUE HAIRED MALEWIFE!?☠️☠️

YES MORE HERCULES QUOTES! 🥰💕💕

IDIA DON'T LAUGH AT YUME'S INTEREST!

Idia bud...you need to watch what you say lowkey.

OOF YUME IS HITTING WAYYYY TOO CLOSE TO HOME

Oh…..Oh no..

*Chapter 6 flashbacks*

MY. FUCKING. JAW

YUME NOOOOOOOOOOO😭😭😭

PUMPKIN HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?

HOW AM I GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS!?

NO DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE OFF WITH THAT QUOTE!!!!

IDIA GET YOUR SKINNY ASS UP AND APOLOGIZE OMFG…

I am still not ok after that THAT HURT MY HEART! PUMPKIN YOU ABSOLUTE MENACE I LOVE YOU BUT YOU ALMOST MADE ME CRY LOWKEY!

I NEED TO LIKE MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF FOR PART 3!😭

BUT THIS WAS SO AMAZING!!!!!!!!💕💕💕

I'm so invested in this story like...YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

AHHH THANK YOU THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME!!!! <3333

comments and such under the cut bc its long:

• The Legend of Zelda quotes were painstakingly hand chosen with love! I had that and the Hercules script pinned in my tabs for 2 months lol and I had like 3 docs separate to keep everything in order! And fun fact: their mostly in order of how they appear in the game, meaning they follow the actual game chronologically! ^^

OF COURSE! @bunnwich was the one who motivated and inspired me to write this. I'd never written fanfic before this, just stuff for OCs. It was really something!

You can blame a certain Youtuber for the 'Pause" jokes. It's literally a part of my daily vocab and I woudln't be me if I didn't put my humor, memes, and inside jokes into the writing. (After all, I wrote it with the mindset that only Bun would read it ^^). I'm glad you share my silly humor!

The pairs for the PE part were actually chosen somewhat carefully by me! I tried to think based on character relationships, personal stories and clubs, which 1st years and second years would actually want to pair up with each other!

Yume's and Kalim's relationship is important to me. I'd love to explore it more because there are more layers to it!

#VARGAS WITH YO CRIMSON CHIN, SHORT, LOBSTER LOOKING, STEAK HANDS, ASS lol

I took care writing Kalim! I wanted to show his growth and his reflection after chapter 4. Sometimes I feel people write him a certain way. I don't think he's naive about things as people always think he is. Especially when it comes to people's emotions. The fact that he wasn't able to see through Jamil's lies isn't a fault on Kalim, Jamil is just that good of a liar/ that good at masking his true feelings. but I'm rambling.

Meme voice: I don't care for Azul. (Yet there are aspects of his character that foil Yume's so interestingly.)

AHAHA yeah yume's big day for sure.

Chat logs are the only way I have communicated with people close to me so I drew from my own chat experience, but still wanted them to be understandable.

is Idia not a malewife?

Ahh yes the...climax of this part was something I had been waiting to get to and wanting to explore. I won't get to into it here.

Idia is notorious for saying shit bluntly and without thinking about it, I feel because he doesn't think about how someone could intemperate his words. He knows what he means so he thinks automatically that the other person should too. Bc its "logical" thinking. (lets just say he's not a reliable narrator)

I got to explore lots of interesting things with Yume here, and I'm glad it impacted you so much! Making people feel the intended emotions, or any really is high praise! It affected me as well when I wrote it because...well like you said it can hit close to home for some people.

I HAD to use that quote.

Please take your time!!! I hope you keep sharing your thoughts with me, I love to hear your comments and feedback!!

I'm glad you are invested. <33333

[melishade]

Attack on Prime Hizuru OVA Commentary Part 3

Main Story    

Part 2

Alright, we are on Part 3 of the Hizuru OVA, basically focused more on Mikasa and Megatron bonding once more and sharing a very personal moment that drives both of their characters.

Also spoilers

So recap: Mikasa and Megatron have an extremely heavy conversation about power, birthrights and leading a normal life. And this is still affecting Megatron even after Wheeljack and Arcee have arrived. Actually, their arrival has just added to the turmoil of the situation. Mikasa notices this shift in demeanor when Megatron returns the next day. And when Megatron leaves a traditional performance and Mikasa follows, it’s tense.

She searched through the corridors and found Megatron leaving the building entirely. Mikasa followed him outside and quickly ran towards him. She grabbed his arm, causing Megatron to immediately swat her hand away.

“Megatron-,”

“I said I’m fine!” Megatron shouted as he turned to glare at her. Megatron saw the fear on Mikasa’s face and rubbed the bridge of the holoform’s nose in irritation.

“I’m just irritated with the human culture,” Megatron lied. 

Megatron lies because he doesn’t want to share what he’s feeling, but he also doesn’t want Mikasa to be scared of him. He doesn’t like how it makes him feel. Mikasa does just a tad bit more prodding and-

Megatron grimaced and gritted his teeth. The Autobots, this stupid island, this running around, all of it frustrated him! This wasn't about something some pathetic human would have said, right? But without power, the island dies. Without power, the Autobots take him. Without power, he can't do...anything.

“Fine! It is!" Megatron spat out, "I can’t understand why you would sacrifice all of this power for a normal life! It’s foolish and idiotic! Power is the only thing that provides any real solution!”

“…you’ve never lived a normal life,” Mikasa concluded, “Have you?”

Mikasa could see that Megatron was taken aback by her statement. She could see the uncertainty on his face as he was trying to think it over. He looked so...distraught. Afraid even. It reminded her of the day Armin backed him in a corner during the coup. Mikasa looked back at the shrine before turning her attention to Megatron.  What she was about to do was a risk…but…Megatron had already done so much. It was time she tried to return the favor. Megatron was stunned when Mikasa grabbed his hand and managed to pull him away from the temple.

Because Megatron was already stressed out by the fact that the Autobots are now on the AOT world, so he knows for a fact he's going to get executed somehow someway. He knows that he needs to find a way to at least stay long enough to make things right with Optimus and ultimately stay alive until then. He needs the power to do that. On top of the fact that Mikasa is literally saving that she would throw her title and power away for a chance at that normal life. Power is how you get what you want. At least that's how it's always worked for Megatron to get victory and stay alive. He's frustrated at everything because of that. 

 And Mikasa realizes that the only reason Megatron would be defending such a position about gaining power, was because he himself has never had a normal life. That had to be the only reason that he's so insistent on defending that position. And Megatron reaction to that bold assumption only confirms what she needs to know. Because she recognized that expression when Armin figured out why Megatron was staying on this world in the first place: for Optimus. So Mikasa decides to show him. Show him what a normal day would be like. In order to repay Megatron for protecting her this whole time, and to show why she wants that life so badly. She wants to get Megatron to understand why normality is important.

And Megatron...agrees to let Mikasa show him what that normal life is like, albeit reluctantly. They go to a cherry blossom garden and sit by a tree and just learn more about each other. Mikasa’s figuring out the fact that Megatron isn’t disgusted by the cherry blossoms and is even admiring it. So much so that she:

Mikasa watched Megatron stare at the flower, and she believed that she recognized an expression on his face that she might not have seen before: admiration. Mikasa grew bold and took the flower from his hand before tucking it behind his ear. Megatron looked at Mikasa with utter confusion and disbelief before touching the flower.

“What the hell, Ackerman?” Megatron managed to say.

“You can take it out if you want,” Mikasa told him.

Mikasa could see that Megatron was ready to tear it out. She expected him to, but he stopped himself. Mikasa was surprised to see that he lowered his hand, leaving the flower tucked on his ear.

“This feels ridiculous,” Megatron declared. (Tries to deny it, but simply doesn’t want to tear it out to hurt Mikasa’s feelings. Also, it’s a strangely nice gesture he doesn’t know how to respond.)

“It’s not so bad,” Mikasa proclaimed as she tucked a flower behind her own ear. (Does this in order to make Megatron feel just a little more comfortable.)

And then the fight is discussed:

“Were you going to kill me then?” Mikasa asked him.

“No,” Megatron answered, but there was some hesitation in that response, “I…got carried away.”

“Carried away?” Mikasa questioned.

“Fighting in the gladiatorial arena was one of the few instances where I felt alive,” Megatron explained, “Once of the few instances where I was able to recognize my worth. That rush of power and the thrill of fighting for my own life. It was there where I was able to decide my fate. Fighting a strong opponent amplified that.” 

(This is the first time in a while that Megatron has really shared anything about his personal life. In Transformers Exodus, Megatron prided himself with being a gladiator and creating a name for himself. There’s even a quote that Megatron says about even in death, the gladiators have value. Being a gladiator was a place where Megatron proved his worth and found his calling. On top of that, violence is ingrained in Megatron’s nature. Going for the kill is always important to him.)

“I’m not that strong compared to you,” Mikasa retorted. 

Megatron was quiet for a moment. “There was one other Cybertronian that was able to come close to defeating me, besides Optimus.”

Mikasa was surprised by his proclamation. “Who?”

“My most trusted lieutenant and my third in command during the war,” Megatron answered, “He was one of few words, and later made a vow of silence during the war. I met him in the arena, and it was a fight to the death. He managed to wound me pretty badly but I was the victor in the end. I chose to spare him. To see someone like him die would have been a waste. Because of that action, we became allies.” 

(How Megatron and Soundwave became allies has always been speculation. I don’t think we ever got a definitive answer but this is what I thought happen. Or at least what I’d gathered what happened.)

Megatron looked at Mikasa. “I expect you not to tell anyone this, but if the prince didn’t intervene, you might’ve had a chance at defeating me.”

“R-really?” Mikasa asked in surprise.

“You’re strong, but you lack a proper technique and training,” Megatron declared, “With time, you could become a very powerful warrior.” (The fact that Megatron is telling Mikasa this at all is because Megatron does truly respect Mikasa as a warrior and as an ally. He cares. Plain and simple.)

“Th-thank you,” Mikasa stuttered in surprise as she rested her hands on her knees.

And then they go into the town to play some games. I have a scene where it cuts to Kiyomi and Taisho, but we’ll discuss Taisho a little later.

So Mikasa and Megatron are having fun and playing games together. Mikasa plays a lottery game and I really liked writing this:

“Just pull a string,” Megatron told her.

Mikasa didn’t listen as she was still trying to guess the string. Megatron rolled his eyes and reached for one of the strings himself, but Mikasa quickly swatted his hand away.

“You cannot be serious,” Megatron proclaimed.

“Sh,” Mikasa spoke as she finally picked a string. 

Because Mikasa feels comfortable enough to have a normal interaction with Megatron without any consequences. Also, when they get their masks:

Megatron looked over to see Mikasa staring at him with the fox mask on. “You look ridiculous.”

“It goes well with the kimono,” Mikasa commented, her voice slightly muffled by the mask.

“Can you see through that?” Megatron asked.

“I can,” Mikasa answered, “You should put yours on. It matches your eyes.”

“I’m not going to put cheap plastic over my face,” Megatron declared.

“It doesn’t hurt to try,” Mikasa insisted.

“If I put it on, will it stop your insistence?” Megatron demanded.

Mikasa nodded her head, causing Megatron to sigh and place the mask over his face. He looked down at Mikasa, and could’ve sworn that he heard stifled laughter.

“Now we look ridiculous together,” Mikasa declared.

I just thought it was fun. But when Megatron thinks it’s better to go back to the castle, Mikasa still says no and even risks punishment for it.

“You’re not usually someone who is a troublemaker,” Megatron said, “Why bother now on an important mission?”

“I…,” Mikasa trailed off.

“’I’ what?” Megatron pressed, “Tell me or I take you back to the palace.”

“I wanted to give you a normal day,” Mikasa answered.

“A normal day,” Megatron repeated with a raised brow, “This is the middle of a festival. This is hardly a normal day.”

“Maybe,” Mikasa agreed, “But…it’s just a normal day. No military work, and no war. It’s full of fun and joy. We’re playing games and winning prizes, talking and enjoying what’s around us. It’s so simple and mundane.”

Mikasa looked up at him and smiled. “I wanted to show you exactly why I want this life so badly.”

So we to take a break from Megatron and Mikasa to talk to Taisho and Katsuko to get a better understanding of their dynamic, their characters, and what’s essentially important to them. Again, I just didn’t want to make the Hizuru complete assholes, especially since they’ve most likely had to struggle to keep their wealth. They would have to be a little more humble. I should really write a full backstory on them because I have the pieces. I just need to put pen to paper. But Taisho does sneak into the town in disguise to find Mikasa and Megatron and show them a good spot on the river to experience the lantern ceremony. 

“It’s begun,” Taisho declared as he pointed to the palace. Mikasa and Megatron saw a lone lantern floating high in the air away from the palace. Mikasa stared in awe as a large wave of lit lanterns flew high into the air, while some of the water lanterns floated along the river. Taisho passed the matches to Mikasa, causing Mikasa to hesitantly take it from his hands. Mikasa lit the match before lighting her own lantern. Mikasa noticed the lantern by Megatron and offered the matches to him. The ex-con stared at the matches before sighing in irritation and taking it from her.

“Never speak of this day,” Megatron told Mikasa as he lit his lantern.

Mikasa smiled at him before releasing her lantern into the air. Taisho released his after her while Megatron stared at his. He didn’t say a word as he finally released the lantern. The people on the bridges and boats released their lanterns. Mikasa watched as lanterns filled her vision. Some of the lanterns floated directly above her head, while others glided across the water. Mikasa saw the reflection of the lanterns in the water, and it made her feel like she was floating in a sea of stars. Mikasa touched one of the water lanterns before pushing it further down the stream. Mikasa turned and rested her hands on the other side of the boat. She watched as the lanterns continued to be blown by the wind, moving further into the mainland. Taisho was surprised by Mikasa’s reaction to the lanterns. She stared at them with awe and wonder, almost laughing with joy at the sight. Her expression was like a little child. He turned his attention to Megatron, who was staring at the lanterns in the sky with a sense of...nostalgia in his eyes.

Mikasa looked up at the lanterns floating above her and reached out towards it, but it was out of her reach. Mikasa felt overwhelmed at the sight before her, but also…happy. When…when was the last time she felt like this? When was the last time she felt like a child, staring at the world with curiosity and wonder?

This is a moment where Taisho is getting a better understanding of who Mikasa and Megatron are as people through simple glimpses. I wanted to have Mikasa act like a teen for once, instead of a hardened soldier. I wanted Megatron to, for just a moment, let his guard down just a little. Also, I wanted to try and create and ethereal feeling and I hope I did. But then:

Megatron heard a soft sniffle and turned to see Mikasa crying, covering her mouth to prevent any sound from coming out. Megatron glanced back at Taisho and quickly blocked his view to Mikasa’s moment of weakness. (Megatron does this because of his respect for Mikasa as a warrior.)

“What’s wrong?” Megatron whispered to her.

“I’m trying to remember my mom,” Mikasa hiccupped, “What she would look like when seeing this, but all I can remember is her corpse. I can’t remember what my mom looked like. It’s been so long.”

Mikasa quietly whimpered while Megatron didn’t know what to do in this situation. Taisho could hear Mikasa’s soft cries, and tried to peer over.

“…do you know where her spark might have gone?” Megatron finally asked, before correcting himself, "Her soul...I mean."

“I don’t know,” Mikasa answered, “I knew the wall religion was a sham, but…if there’s no sure existence of a god or another life, does that mean that my mom is gone forever? And my father? Dr. Jaeger? Carla? Everyone I love? Does it all mean nothing in the end?”

We don’t really see Mikasa’s religious beliefs. I don't think Mikasa would have believed in anything in particular, but that she would like the idea of heaven and seeing her loved ones again. So the idea of there not being an afterlife scares her. Because it means that her most prominent memories of her loved ones are times when they were taken away from her. She doesn't want to remember something so cruel like that. It hurts too much. It causes her pain.

Meanwhile Megatron:

Megatron saw Mikasa wiping away her tears and...didn't like it. He didn't like seeing Mikasa this distressed. And her words...reminded him of that day in the mines. But what could he say? This wasn't his specialty at all: to comfort and to care. He didn't have the spark to say something and completely screw it up.

Wait...spark. Megatron slowly raised his hand to his chest, where his damaged and broken spark resided. It was due to his own hubris that his spark was damaged. He may never be reborn again, but still...Cybertronians knew where they would go once they passed. It might not be the same for humans, but even so...

Wait, what was he thinking? Talking about something as sensitive as that! The very creation and rebirth of all Cybertronians to a human! The idea was so preposterous it!...Megatron train of thought stopped when more tears spilled from Mikasa's eyes. And that guilt slowly crept back in.

It is a complete internal battle for him in this moment. Because over the past week, he's grown fonder of Mikasa. And to see her so distraught is making him feel FEELINGS! HE HATES IT! And prior to this, it's this internal battle of pride and guilt when trying to comfort Mikasa. Does he let her cry? Why should he help her? She's been kind to you this whole time. And the fact that he's debating on giving her something in relation to Cybertronian culture is baffling him because that's not something that a human should be hearing about. He shouldn't be giving that knowledge to such a weak species. But Mikasa has proven her worth and her strength in battle. She has his respect, so to see her like this and not do anything about it is an insult to a comrade in arms! So what ultimately has Megatron tell Mikasa about reincarnation?

“All I’m asking, is for you to be considerate of Mikasa’s feelings and not to be so callous to her.”

Hanji’s words. Hanji’s influence in the beginning of the week, advising Megatron to be considerate of Mikasa and her feelings, is what ultimately influences his decision to tell her about:

Megatron spared a quick glance at Taisho before turning back to Mikasa. He removed his hand from his chest and slouched forward a little, arms resting on his legs. What was he doing? “Your mother...she could’ve been reincarnated.”

Mikasa looked up at Megatron in confusion, tears still staining her cheeks. “Reincarnated?”

“On Cybertron, when one of us dies, it is said that our sparks return to where we were first created: the Well of the Allsparks,” Megatron explained, his gaze wandering to the lanterns floating in the water, “The Well resides within the core of our planet, along with our creator, Primus. The spark remerges from the Well and is reborn as another Cybertronian."

Megatron saw a water lantern knock against the boat, ultimately getting stuck and being unable to move further down the stream. "They do not remember their previous life. They do not remember their glory or their sins. They don't remember good and evil. The ledger of their previous life is wiped completely clean."

Mikasa watched as Megatron dipped the holoform fingers in the river and gently push the lantern around the boat. The lantern was free, and drifted further down the river to join the others. "And they are given a chance to start anew.”

Mikasa watched the lantern integrate with the masses before staring down at her bandaged wrist, the one that held the crest her mother gave her, and told her to treasure. “Do you think that reincarnation would be possible for humans? That my mom got a chance at a new life of peace?”

Megatron turned his gaze back to her. "I wouldn't know,...but you humans tend to surprise me.”

Mikasa gave Megatron a small, tired smile, content with the hope of that knowledge. “Thank you.”

Megatron let out a grunt in reply, turning back to the lanterns. He felt...stupid, giving up that kind of information, and part of him was certain it provided no comfort. Mikasa looked back up at the lanterns and just felt exhausted. She was running around all day. It was late, and she had spent her remaining energy in crying. She...she wanted to sleep. Maybe just for a little while, maybe in this moment it would be fine. She rested her head on Megatron’s shoulder and closed her eyes. Megatron nearly jolted at the pressure on his shoulder and looked down at Mikasa in surprise. What the hell was she doing?! Megatron raised his hand to grab her shoulder, wanting to remove her. However, he paused when he saw that peaceful and relaxed expression on her face. He reconsidered, and ultimately lowered his arm and let her stay there. He looked back up at the lanterns, and an old, long-forgotten memory played in his mind. He remembered sitting atop the Iacon Hall of Records with Orion Pax. The archivist wanted to show him his favorite spot and begged him to stay. He complied and he was amazed at the abundance of stars in the sky. It was much more prominent compared to the dark and cloudy skies in Kaon. It also showed him how vast the universe really was.

A few notes:

-The idea of Megatron talking about reincarnation around the spring festival was an analogy I didn't realize I did until I started reviewing the chapter. Because spring is a time of renewal and rebirth, and Cybertronians follow reincarnation. A chance to start a new.

-Also, Megatron pushing the lantern along, kind of like someone guiding a lost soul to the multitude of others. 

 -The description I have Megatron give to Mikasa is ultimately damning for him, because despite his sins, if he hadn't fucking up his spark with dark energon, he still would've had the opportunity at reincarnation. 

 -And after the explanation, and Mikasa's completely exhausted from crying her heart out, she at a point where maybe, just maybe, I can put my trust in Megatron for just a brief moment. If he would allow it. She hoped that their interactions were enough for Mikasa to be able to rest beside him. Instead of staying awake after that, she was putting her complete trust in Megatron to keep her safe and let her rest. And Megatron wants to react with violence, but to see her peaceful face causes him to reconsider. Because he didn't think what he said worked, and he was also feeling vulnerable in that moment and was just trying not to show it. And to see her let her guard down around him of all people! He owed her this much, and she deserved so much better. 

-And for a brief moment in the quiet, Megatron is reminded of an old memory of when her first saw the stars with Orion.

And Taisho reminds everyone that, yeah he’s in the story. And the two have this conversation discussing Mikasa and the implication of putting her on the throne. But instead of Megatron speaking less about her.

“Know this,” Megatron began, “I despise humanity with every fiber of my being. Mikasa, knowing this, was willing to reach out her hand to me and show me what it was like to have a normal day, which is something I have not had for over four million years. She’s willing to understand this country and because of her roots, understands what it is like for others to suffer. But she would still help them regardless. She has good qualities of leadership.”

"But you've seen what the outside world is like," Taisho proclaimed, “You know what lies out there, waiting for those who do not fit the mold. Despite her situation and altruism, the world will not see her that way."

“Then make them,” Megatron told him, “She would not throw you or your family out, especially if you have a use. You could help her rule; create a strong alliance between Eldia and Hizuru.”

He praises her. Mikasa has Megatron’s complete respect at this point in the story. And Taisho is wiser than he seems. He’s not acting entirely out of selfishness. He’s acting because he cares about the survival of his nation, his wife, and his son.

“Even if we were to somehow establish a good relationship, and there would be some sort of compromise, what would you do about the power of the titans?” Taisho asked him, “The Colossal Titans within the wall, the new experiments being conducted within Marley, the Founding Titan itself, what do you say to that? If Eldia became a formidable power once again, they might decide to conquer the world once more. Maybe not now, but sometime in the future. Then what? Does Eldia rule for another 2,000 years, subjugating the rest of the world into suffering?”

“You’re putting this on the power of the titans,” Megatron noted, “Not the Eldian people.”

“Humans in general will always be corrupted by power, no matter how good their intentions are,” Taisho declared, “As long as the power of the titans exist, the only options would be to get rid of the power of the titans, or a mass execution of Eldians. Either way, nothing would change. Over time, the next power would take its place, and humanity would continue this cycle of war and hatred. The idea of eternal peace, like so many believe will happen if the Eldians are gone, is a peace that does not exist.”

Again, totally not foreshadowing LOL. And then Mikasa, who’s on Megatron’s back at this point accidentally says Megatron’s name as the three are making their way back to the castle, which Taisho hears. And Megatron says something simple in the moment and the quiet after Mikasa muttered a sleepy ‘thank you.’

He put Mikasa down on the bed and put the blanket over her body. He placed the mask, the cherry blossom, and the daruma doll on the table next to the bed, knowing he would have no need for them. Megatron stared at Mikasa for a brief moment before sighing.

“…you’re welcome, Mikasa,” Megatron finally spoke. He stood up and shut the door to her room before deactivating the holoform.

He says ‘your welcome’. He says a small and simple kind gesture. He even leaves a note saying ‘thank you for the normal day’. Megatron values Mikasa, and holds that simple fleeting moment close to his spark. He’ll reflect on Hizuru in later chapters.

Final scene is Mikasa saying goodbye, and apologizing for her behavior, but Megatron’s words and Mikasa’s actions are enough to have Taisho show compassion and grant Optimus an extra two weeks to contact Cybertron instead of a single week as agreed upon. The last lines are from Taisho POV.

“I have to think realistically, not ideally,” Taisho reminded, “We all want things to go a certain way, but the world is full of different people with their own beliefs. It feels like the only thing that we can do is make an uneasy compromise.”

“Maybe this time it will change,” Kenshin suggested.

“…We’ll see,” Taisho spoke, “We’ll see what happens.”

Wherever this path led to, he did hope that it led to peace during their lifetime. The profit didn’t matter too much to him. Not like it mattered to Kiyomi, but it was something that he had to rely on. In regards to Mikasa, she was a good person, and she wasn’t some sort of devil. She just wanted a normal life. He couldn’t picture Kenshin in her situation. He didn’t want to. Maybe he could help find this girl some peace.

She deserved it most of all.

A line of hope for the future, despite how cruel the world was.

(And that’s all my commentary. Sorry it’s so long, but I really wanted to get my thoughts out. I hope you enjoyed.)