#something about the tenderness and care oda puts into the world building
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I thought fully catching up to One Piece would make me feel a little less obsessed, but it's somehow made it worse. I know I'm over a quarter of a century late, but oh man do I have it bad now.
Why does a part of me want to start a reread?
#reading those first few hundred chapters that introduce characters so fast i couldn't be bothered to remember them all#only for them to become SO IMPORTANT and meaningful to me later#getting emotionally attached to the entire dumb world#something about the tenderness and care oda puts into the world building#like obviously all writers are working with original creations but the way even his minor background characters#often turn out to have a whole backstory you learn about hundreds of chapters later#is so great#supposedly he's been working on this world since he was a kid right and inventing and investing in all of these characters#and it really is the feel of someone sharing all their most beloved ocs with you#and you don't even realize that this or that character IS one of those truly beloved ones for a while#it's patience but it's also so much LOVE#letting them exist like they're real and not just devices used in the narrative#revealing them slowly over time - over the span of YEARS - instead of making them all throw aways#i guess he's kind of actually a genius#one piece
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Portgas D. Ace Headcanons 01
Excuse me Oda-sensei, but that 40 year old Ace is simply criminal. Thank you so much for blessing us with him
Anyway! Have some Husband!Ace headcanons For more Ace content please head to my Tumblr MasterList
Ace is, respectfully, a huge simp for his wife
To the extent that the Whitebeard crew straight up jokingly awarded him with a “Biggest Wife Simp” Award
They made it look official and had Whitebeard sign it and everything. There's even a stamp.
Ace has it framed and hung proudly on the wall next to your bachelor’s degree / college diploma / degree in general.
I feel like despite his own personal insecurities, Ace still manages to be an amazing father
I imagine Ace originally setting out for like one or two kiddos at most (because y'know...what if he's not good enough) and ending up with 3 or 4 kids
Thing is, that’s both your faults.
Ace is tender and goofy with his kids, and he’s so friggin caring: to the extent that…well wouldn’t it be neat to see him with maybe another 2 or 3 kiddos of his own?
(Your husband is hot okay?)
In his case, he swears you have a unique glow about you when you’re pregnant. But more than that when he sees you with your first born, he suddenly wants a big family with you.
I imagine his kids are an eldest son, then his princess, then the youngest boy who takes after his uncle Luffy.
His kids aren’t parentified. He keeps his issues far, far, away from them. Besides, he’s got you by his side.
He was dedicated to making sure they got as much playtime as possible.
He heard about learning through play, and he is DEDICATED to doing that as much as possible
Ace’s kids are spoiled with affection, but not spoiled brats.
While it’s true he’d give them the world, he’d rather let them go get it themselves.
For example: when they asked for a tree house, he gave them the greenlight immediately.
But they had to build it themselves.
It was a super fun project lasting a little over two months with the whole family involved.
Oh and the Whitebeard crew helped too.
It took a while to get the design down initially, then the shopping logistics and whatnot (they used a lot of math here - see education via play)
Building the thing took maybe a weekend or two because the Whitebeard Crew and even the Strawhats came over to help
(It was mostly Franky and Usopp doing work, Sanji was cooking with Thatch)
Uncle Luffy was not allowed near the construction zone after an accident.
They almost destroyed the tree house with their partying once
Ace’s kids were not happy and no one was allowed in the backyard for the rest of the night
He makes sure they have proper manners and self-defense skills
You had to help out here, no lie.
He admitted he needed your help, especially after a dinner with Garp where Makino tagged along to see Ace again
He puts all of his kids into martial arts classes
especially his princess - he’s so proud of her when she beats up bullies
He’s not great at discipline though to be honest. He probably goes about it similarly to Garp.
Ace will not tolerate any of his kids being nasty to their mother. No matter the phase.
You will have to hold him back if you want to let them get their frustration off their chest.
He’ll let them talk, but you’ll have to keep a hand on him somewhere, his arm, his hand, his knee, his shoulder, his back and rub soothing circles
Let’s just say, “talk shit, get hit,” is Ace’s attitude towards anyone being demeaning towards you (more so with adults, not his kids, but that's why they get a scolding)
"Ace my love" (he melts every time you call him that) "the kids’ll start thinking you love me more than them if you do that"
"My kids won’t disrespect their mother though!"
"They’re just venting darling, and when they say or do something that violates my boundaries, I'll be sure to reinforce it. Lead by example right?"
If they ever feel like pissing Ace off for fun they can just say something kinda not nice about you and he'll get mad and they'll flee from him giggling like the little gremlins they are
Ace is veeeeeeeeerry physically affectionate and he isn’t shy about it at all.
At gatherings with the Whitebeard family, he will gladly seat you in his lap, he will happily hug you as you are seated.
His arm is on your waist most of the time.
They tease him to make him tone it down, he does not.
He, in fact, dials it up. Turns up the heat lol.
You have kids? Not in front of them? What do you mean, not in front of the kids? It’s important they know just how much he loves their mama!
So he will continue to be playful with his hugs and kisses and other displays of affection.
It’s nothing too over the top. Just hugs and quick pecks wherever.
Your entire head is fair game for his smooches, your arms (he loves kissing your pulse and then making eye contact, sneaky guy that he is), your shoulders.
Maybe lifting you and spinning you around. Cuddles. Little bites.
He will play-wrestle his kids to “fight” them over getting to cuddle you, and then he’ll just put all his weight on all of you in a group cuddle
Just to let you know, your kids also receive all the warmth and love of his affections.
When his sons are still tiny and adorable, he smooches them all over. The kisses grow less frequent as they grow older, but the hugs do not stop.
Oh no, hugs galore.
Ace still pecks his little princess on her forehead though
When they’re all under ten he’ll wrap them in a hug (after he chased them down and caught them so they’re laughing and screaming) and start smooching their cheeks while they laugh and try to get out of his grasp
Also yes she’s his princess, but that girl has no problem throwing a fully grown man twice her size around, he made sure of it.
I reiterate: Ace is not remotely shy about displays of affection
Like his eldest could have a friend over, and Ace would still launch a full scale hug attack using the rest of his troops (daughter/youngest)
It's complete with screeching, screaming, and a lot of laughter
His kids used to get teased for it, but it didn’t take more than a few conversations for them to instead jeer at the kids that teased them.
"You’re all jealous your parents don’t love you like ours do"
"How sad, your parents don't hug and kiss you"
Their dad, grandpa, uncle - uncles really, are all gremlins - it's in their DNA
The kids are really physically affectionate with each other as a result
Deadass they’ll be kicking the shit out of each other one second and the next they’ll be all cuddled and huddled up playing Mario Kart or something
Ace is his kids’ hero.
His sons aspire to have his level of fitness.
His daughter, when she’s older, uses him as a standard for dating
You're relieved
Ace is touched and a touch nervous, because he is aware of his shortcomings, though he works hard to keep improving
Of course when you look at him, a twinkle in your eyes, and tell him, “I’m so proud of her, I’m so proud of you!” He feels better
When you continue: “if she can find a guy like you, who cherishes her as much as you cherish me, I’d be so happy.”
Ace loves you so much he swears
#portgas d ace x reader#portgas ace x reader#portgas ace x you#one piece x reader#one piece x you#portgas d ace x you#portgas d ace fluff#portgas d ace#portgas d ace fanfic#one piece fanfiction#one piece#ace one piece
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Could you write some hc’s for a zombie apocalypse au? Can you write it for Sasuke, Mitsunari and Ranmaru? Thank you!!! ☆*:. o(≧▽≦)o .:*☆
hey op are you a mind reader because this’s actually been an idea of mine for a while now (but again, lack of motivation hsaglhsa) and i’m ???? (also my three most favorite characters i’m !!!!) thank you for enabling me. it’s a bit different than what i had in mind for the original fic and it has just a liiil bit of world building details but enjoy!
—sasuke:
sasuke works in what they call the “safe zone”, ran by the government. you yourself never did go there—a decision well-made, in your opinion. rumor’s spread through the city that every day a good number of people were kicked out due to lack of resources, and their workers being put through hell to also not get fired and thrown out. but you never really did regard it as either true or otherwise.
it didn’t matter to you—until you met sasuke.
he’d been faring rather well, with footsteps silent as ever. it was the matter of food, water, shelter. the needs of his body would kill him before the zombies did—the simple matter of even eating a contaminated piece of candy could mean the end for him.
and there you found him, in a dark alleyway, fading in and out of consciousness; hungry, weak, cold, dirty—you didn’t think it through when you dragged his body to where you stayed.
it’s too late, you thought, watching his body wrapped in layers of blankets writhe awake, might as well let him stay for a bit.
as soon as sasuke could sit up, you immediately gave him food and water. snacks were better than nothing. as his body desperately gobbled the food up (he tried to cover it, but to no avail), you explained what happened.
“. . . as soon as you’re done, grab the set of clothes there and leave.” even words as cold as yours were said, the slight hesitance pooling in your eyes said otherwise. if he noticed, he never commented.
instead, he asked you while you were heading to the door, “and where are you going, if i may ask?”
“. . . fix the power outlet.” you answered warily; you never knew what people could do with information. you hated the distrust, but it was a given at times. “autumn’s coming, it’s gonna be cold.”
and you thought it was the end, worst case scenario is he’d sabotage you. but you tried to stave off the suspicion—
“i can go along, if you want. i know how they operate.” you stopped your tracks, silently looking back to sasuke and making your judgement for the decision. “i’m fairly knowledgeable with electronics.” he explained further.
your heart and mind weighed the offer. on one hand, so far you’ve been fooling around and picking up things with trial and error. on the other hand, it’d be easy for him to make it shit for you. a sigh, you grabbed a crowbar and half-assedly pointed it at him, “okay, i’ll stave off the zombies. i see you doing fuck-all, it’s over.”
even at your threat (one you hated to make, at that), sasuke’s expression remained stoic with a nod, “i understand.”
you watched his movements with hawk’s eyes, while decapitating any approaching undeads. but the swarm grew bigger and bigger—you thought security was better than this, but oh well. it’s not something you can’t deal with.
even so—you hurt your leg. prosthetic one, lost in a reckless accident and replaced with a stiff and quite low-quality metallic one. “fuck—” you scowled, looking behind at sasuke for a moment, “are you done?”
“——yes.” a brief answer, “let’s get out now—” with surprising agility, he grabbed your hand and fled the scene.
you were mildly pissed at those walking corpses for crushing your prosthetic leg, it’d take a while to trade with someone out there to repair it, if you couldn’t do a shitty job of it yourself.
but to your mild surprise, sasuke knew how to do it. just a few scraps of whatever piece there was lying about, some tools, and it’d be fine, he said. the usual wave of distrust fell over you—but it somehow felt easier to agree and leave it up to him. a repayment of sort.
and over time, it seems like the universe made an effort to put excuses for sasuke to stay, whether it’d be ventilation problems, electrical, mechanical —it was impressive, no doubt. you’d soon take him in permanently under the guise of him being useful (but it’s more of sympathy really, you’re aware of that fact.)
and even on the off-time, you spent most of it talking to him. silence ringing around the rooms with occasional guttural growls of the zombies weren’t the best atmosphere, so to say. but he’d often crack jokes (which earned a nose exhale, or chuckles on a good day).
he’d tell you about his experience working in the equally suffocating safe zone—everyone’s working for themselves and friends don’t exist much, as you understood it. a dog eat dog world, where everyone scrambles to be the most useful and cram their brains to the brim while distrusting everyone.
and you felt a semblance of relatability in his detachment to people—but why does it secretly hurt for you? the thought of him dismissing your bond. . .
it hurts; you don’t know why.
and of course, he has more knowledge about zombies than the ones you just pick up from experience. in fact, it’s been a speculation that the virus withheld the body from decomposing—but not limiting it. in a about a year, he guessed, they’d rot away.
“does. . .does that mean this can end if they drop and infections decrease?” you asked, letting the curtain crack open to hope.
“. . .best case scenario, yes.” even as his face remain mostly stoic, you see the crinkles of hope, melancholy, happiness.
you don’t recall how you got to the decision—not a logical stream of thought at least. it jumped like an instinct for you to just propose it, nothing else— “sasuke, you wanna stay with me until then?”
a look of surprise overcame your hushed question, so filled with long-lost warmth. but similarly, the answer came immediately, “of course.” his hand reached to yours, tender and soft, the most you’ve felt in forever, “i’ll stay. face the past, present, and future with you.”
—mitsunari:
a strategist wasn’t a job common in modern times, but it’s one mitsunari’s taken during the apocalypse. securing paths, ways to efficiently scout out, etc. that’s why to say he was utterly baffled when a major breach reached his group—the oda—flooded the zombies inside.
the last thing clearly in his mind was hideyoshi’s firm order. the blur of rotten flashed around, the words echoed around, “everyone, flee immediately!”
and so he did. perhaps farther than he planned at first with the enormous swarm behind him. no matter where, it wasn’t safe—until he didn’t even know clearly where he was. and he’d remember the city layout, along with some areas outside of it.
he’s lost.
analyzing every path that he could take, his mind was too overtaken to realize a zombie spying overhead. only once the slight sounds of rasped growls did he notice—
and even so, a loud crack got it away from him. it’s dead now, he realized, and right beside the bloodied corpse was you.
“what are you doing, just standin’ here?” you asked, a small sign of irritation by the scowl on your face visible. but it remained flying over mitsunari’s head, even after you sigh, “it doesn’t matter—not now. come on, follow me.”
his surprise quickly dissipated as soon as you made your way into the twists and curves of an alleyway. you’re well-versed of here, he noted.
he took notice of many things on the way, how you’re always well armed with knowledge of the zombies weak spots, how they’re sensitive to noise, how you seemed to know which path would crumble if stepped on.
only when he entered where you stayed, a safe place, was he painfully aware how worn and tired his body felt—and you did too, quickly sitting him down and handing some snacks while also asking things about him. who he was, why he was there, so on.
he explained the breach, the split of his group, how he ended up here and you listened to every detail with your own cogs working along with his. “and where was your base?”
“nearby lake biwa.” mitsunari didn’t know where he was, but the way your face scrunched up didn’t seem too good.
“how did you even get here? lake biwa’s a good three cities—ah, fuck.” the constant tapping of your fingers did few to stave off either worry or just mild irritation, you didn’t know yourself. “and if you really did flee, there’s a chance they went in separate directions, too.”
he listened in you assessment, already making plans on how to search around in his head. but your proposition slightly baffled him—
“i’ll help you find whoever this group is.” with words that sounded kind, the slight discontent in your face went unnoticed by the other.
you yourself didn’t understand—years of wariness and distrust has led you to distance yourself from everyone—but why was it different with him?
“there is no need—” / “come on, it’s easier with two people right? you’ll go quicker.”
though words often harsh, mitsunari was a master in dismissing that with cluelessness. each time you declined that you wanted to help him because you wanted to, you kept saying it’s to be faster. but it didn’t matter to him, you were helping, and he cherished that.
days went on, with some city maps sprawled across the floor written on it some routes to search for. and maybe filling the air with conversation from time to time lifted your heart just a bit.
you’ve caught on his horrible self-care habits a long time ago. even as he’s very well-versed in most subjects (amazingly so,) he still read whatever book you had. and you’ve experienced his reading-trance.
you’d often scold him each time—especially in the instance of an expedition where he gets caught up in planning. even forgetting to eat would result in a disappointed gaze from you (rightfully so in your opinion, these were times of desperation from starvation). but he was improving.
you find yourself opening up to him, for the first time in a long one. the thought of sleeping in the presence of another made you revolt originally; but you felt safe with him.
soon, both of you’s efforts weren’t for nothing. traces of his group—”nobunaga” and “hideyoshi”, he told you—was temporarily taking base on the outskirts of the next city.
and suddenly, the concept of him leaving you created a pit of darkness inside. you’ll be alone, the walls will no longer echo your laughs and his soft voice; but instead silence.
from then on, you find each day a small struggle for it to stretch as long as possible. staying up just so you could feel being near mitsunari while awake, clinging onto whatever you could for now. it hurts, more than anything you’ve felt—but it’d be selfish for you to take him from the thing he’s spent this much time searching.
but the world wasn’t known for mercy, it never was since forever. time flowed as normal, and the day came. “. . .pack up a bit. it’s gonna be a long journey, and we’ll need to stay in some shitty abandoned house.” your voice came as a silent croak. mitsunari wasn’t often aware of picking up hints—but he was painfully aware now.
“. . .and why do you look so sad?” his words were spoken with gentle sadness, a tad bit of melancholy. as much as you wanted to avoid it for less damage to your heart, he already took your chin to tilt it to his face. you never wanted to say goodbye to his twinkling lilac eyes, it was the closest to warmth you’ve felt.
slowly. . .you were crying, sobbing. each shake from your shoulders sent painful stabs to mitsunari’s heart. and even as you were hurting—both of you were—you wrapped your arms around his, diving your nose to his chest.
“. . .i-i’m happy. . for you. i really am—.”
you didn’t remember anything else of that night, only the tender voice he spoke to you akin to bells from heaven jingling.
the next day, and the day after, the rest of the oda were found. overwhelmed by the many faces you didn’t know, you simply sat back and watched what would be your eventual farewell. you didn’t listen into what they were talking about; it didn’t matter much. at least you’d see him smile like that one last time.
only when he turned to you were you brought back to reality, staring with those earnest purple eyes. you know the others were observing in silence, you didn’t pay attention to it. only mitsunari. . .the one you. . .l-loved?
. . .yeah. you loved him.
he made his way to you. once you faced each other, he gently lifted your hands in his, and brought it to his chest. you felt the beats, ba-dump ba-dump, fast against his clothes.
“this may not be an easy request to ask of you. . .” he started. the fondness were now pooling in his eyes, and you were sure it was the same for you, “but. . . would you please stay with us. . .? my heart feels heavy of leaving you.”
—ranmaru:
it pained him, more than anything in his life. he wasn’t sure which would feel better, if the oda died and otherwise. from a breach that he caused. ranmaru wants to just disappear—but that wouldn’t be fair for a traitor like him, he didn’t deserve such mercy. he’s supposed to return to kennyo one way or another, but he just couldn’t. his legs kept on running and running—perhaps not from the zombies, but from his own swallowing fears and hatred for himself. it felt absolutely revolting to be in his own skin right now.
and for a moment, ranmaru considered if it was better. to just succumb to the pack of zombies in front of him. he knows how to fight them, maybe improv his way out—but he doesn’t want to. and just as his muscles fell limp in an act of surrender—
BANG—!
and that was the first time he saw of you; on the other side of the conglomeration of rotten flesh, gun pointed up to the air with no trace of fear or regret. and quickly, the attention of the zombies were quickly taken from him, and onto you.
and he felt the fear for you, you shouldn’t’ve done that for him. . .!
even so, there was nothing he could do. the last of he saw you then was you mouthing a clear word to him: “run.”
he did, and so did you. ranmaru’s mind screamed, scraping at the walls of his insides to not, but instinct and adrenaline took control more than anything.
he didn’t know where he was running—but wherever it was, you miraculously found him. and you managed to drag him to your base, no matter how many times he rejected.
as soon as you two arrive, he’s much more reserved than usual. not that you’d know, you just consider it normal to be that much quiet from a near death experience. you gave him food, a set of clothes, and water. but as time went on, you noticed he didn’t so much as touch it.
eventually, you had to push him to do it, even if his body felt sickening to its core. slowly, ranmaru told you little bits of his story, leaving out many parts (like the fact he was the orchestrating traitor). and just like mitsunari, you find an unknown source inside you just. . . allowing yourself to help him.
and because ranmaru wasn’t as much a strategist as mitsunari was, your execution was a lot more of wandering than anything.
and during those outings, you start to notice how weirdly capable he is. he’s switched back to his cheery, bubbly self, yes. but you catch how he’s so skilled with swords, sneaking around in inhumane silence. you waved your first encounter as a product of turmoil, and that he was as fragile that he framed himself, but. . .
the thought of him being a traitor to you, putting up a mask like that, it settled a churning feeling in your stomach. you’ve gotten so used to, enjoying even, his hugs and rambles—nights that were previously spent sleeplessly, just staring out the window and to the shit world splayed across it, were now filled with talks about silly and pointless things.
it reminded you of how it was before all this.
just like young school friends having a sleepover, you found a happiness and light feeling in you that was buried since quite a while.
along with that were times where you got serious. it wasn’t often, ranmaru would try to change the subject. but you were your own stubbornness; running away from something wasn’t a good way to go, you knew this.
and you’d always be aware of how his eyes seemed like a dark pit of untouched emotions. like the mere existence of the conversation was weighing him down a thousand pounds.
to add, you pick up on some inconsistencies to his stories. . .first he said that the loud speakers in the building overrode the zombies’ sensitivity to sound and caused them to break everything like the windows and doors (even the locked ones, he added), then he said that it was because they were open in the first place. how he says only one person withheld the keys to certain places, then he said how said places were miraculously open later on. . .
you came to just a small conclusion.
“then, there’s a traitor, right?”
your words were toned in a way that was like just a throwaway line—unimportant, irrelevant—but ranmaru still tensed up, like a deer in headlights. fear, anxiety, regret; it all chipped away at him slowly.
and you’ve been friends for a good time now—you caught this. and it wasn’t just surprise either, it’s like he secretly knew.
in the end, an answer was never said. he just called it a night, and you let him.
it’ll be resolved in the morning, you thought, going back to your worn out mattress. and, just like many nights, you simply stared out at the sky with a mostly blank mind.
but then, you heard footsteps.
unstable, but not the way a zombie’s would. it’s not disarrayed, and they couldn’t get up anyway, not with all the security you set up. it can only be a human’s then. . .
you grabbed your crowbar, and silently left your room. a dark figure stood in the hallway, silently making their way to the stairs next floor. before you pursued, you tilted your head to ranmaru’s room.
it’s open, and empty.
your steps became quicker and quicker, hoping nothing bad happens as each staircase brought a chain of doubt and anxiety over you.
the rooftop. the figure—who you assume is ranmaru—stood in silence over the edge. the moon and stars’ light shone on them, and it was your dear friend. the soft purple-pinkish hair dusted over his head so perfectly, played by the breeze.
“ranmaru.” you called out. his body flinched. “what are you doing here. .?”
for a moment, he didn’t respond. you saw how his shoulders shook while his overall self was trying to make him as small as possible, but no words were said.
“answer me,” you took a step, hesitant, “please.”
“. . .i’m sorry.”
his voice was quiet, cracked, as if it could shatter at any moment. what were you supposed to do, seeing your dearest friend on the edge like that. . .?! all you could was reach your hand out—and take his.
“wh—” before he could say anything, you pull him into your arms, wrapping them securely around him. his shuddered breaths, then turned into sobs and cries. slowly and weakly, the hug was returned.
“. . .what am i supposed to do?” he sound so horribly lost, afraid, your own heart was ripping. “everything i do—the food tastes like sand in my mouth, every step feels wrong to take, i—i don’t know what to do!”
ranmaru broke down in front of you, and you let him. words were slurring into thoughtless ramblings and rants. there wasn’t a thing you understood completely, but—
“please, ranmaru, i. . .” your arms tightened around him. he’s alive, he’s safe. “please stay with me. we’ll get through this, just—i beg you, stay.”
#ikemen sengoku#ikesen#cyikemen#ikesen ranmaru#ikesen sasuke#ikesen mitsunari#*au#*writing#coreycore420#hslakhgs srsly tho i had a fun time with this#hslakhgs srsly tho i had a fun time#it's way longer than what i wanted it to be originally—but sasuke's was already rlly long#and i couldn't just Do It to the rest so ykno what *consistency baby*#aha i tried to avoid using lady title considering 2/3 suitors use it#cause yk inclusion#but also i've never been one to use (y/n) anyway#idk small tangent#there's a lot more i can dive into here#like how they would cope specifically to the apocalypse. etc. etc.#but also rip my hands bro :)))#i srsly did have like a thing thought out#but who knows if it'll be done like ever!!!!! :D#also mc's personality's more crude here#with the nature of distrust usually seen in zombie movies#and i did want to give em more depth but#again#fingers tired!! writing abilities gone poof#hopefully it isn't too much lol
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Darkside . Ubbe X OC X Ivar
Summary: She was one of the best shield maiden’s in Kattegat and engaged to Ubbe, the man she loved dearly. There was darkness in her but there was no reason for her to reveal it. That was until she walked in on Ubbe in bed with the slave, Margrethe. One-shot.
Word count: 4360
Warning: Angst, cheating, swearing, violence and smut.
Tag List: @lisinfleur @mdlady @didiintheblog @alicedopey @lupy22 @rekdreams247 @mblaqgi @oddsnendsfanfics @aphnxrising @happydaysandersen @therealcalicali @naaladareia @inforapound @captstefanbrandt @waiting4inspiration @tabalugax @p8tn0lish
If anyone else wants to be added to the tag list let me know please.
Oda’s rapid breathes melted into the lust filled sounds coming from inside the barn where she stood frozen in the entrance watching the scene unfold right before her. Ubbe, her love, laid flat on his back against the scatted hay with that whore slave, Margrethe, on top of him. Both were lost in their coupling they hadn’t heard anyone enter or continued to watch them with a flooding sadness building up into a burning rage.
She felt herself move forward towards them with heavy steps as she grabbed Margrethe by her hair and wrenched her away from Ubbe and dragged her away from him. Oda lifted the slave up by her hair and slammed her face against a pillar with a satisfying crunch and she didn’t stop there. She kicked her in the rips earning a pained grunt from the slave, ignoring Ubbe’s pleas for her to stop as he tried to adjust his pants. She went to throw another blow her at but Ubbe pulled her away from the whimpering slave.
“Oda! Enough!” Ubbe sounded like he did nothing wrong which only fuelled her anger.
Turning around she slammed her head against his with a crack and threw a good solid punch into his jaw, this sending him to fall back in daze onto the ground. She glared daggers at him, showing her fury about what he had just done. All she wanted to do spill their blood even more and to bath in it. Instead she held all that back as she bent over and spat into his face before running out the barn.
Oba found herself sitting on the beach shore and it was until than that the tears came. She felt hurt, betrayed, like there was no one else she could trust anymore. The thought of the slave on top of Ubbe was burned into her memory and couldn’t shake it away soon enough.
Her dark fire like hair whipped in the air against the breeze with her blue eyes glazed with tears, fill with pain and sorrow with the memories repeating through her rattled mind.
The sound of dragging was coming from behind her and knew it was Ivar. She tried to wipe away her tears and nose clean to try and pretend everything was fine but she knew Ivar was going to know something was wrong. The youngest brother dragged himself closer and sat with his tied legs stretch out in front of her. She met his gaze and much to her surprise he gave a sympathetic smile.
“I saw what happened…”
“H-How?”
“I was watching them before you came.”
“So you knew he was fucking her? How long?” She felt her anger boil again.
“I found out just today, I swear I didn’t know before that.” She didn’t know if she should believe him but felt rather too tired to care about it.
“He told me he loved me, that there was no one else in the world he would rather be with, those were his words. Now they feel like dirt I can’t seem to get off. Why would he do this to me?” Her sadness of obvious to him but he wasn’t the best to give comfort, so instead he spoke his mind.
“Ubbe is a fool to hurt you the way he did and I am glad you hurt him, he deserved it. Oda, you deserve the best because you are a remarkable woman. I admire you strength and that’s what I see most from you.” His words had eased their way into her and felt a little warmer, than he grinned like a mad man. “I know where you get it from too.”
She knew as well. “My father, he was a berserker. Died in battle but stories told of him have not been forgotten.”
“He was a feared man. You are more like him than you realise.” She nodded in agreement.
“That is what I fear, to become like him.” She knew deep within her there was a blood lust waiting to emerge.
“You shouldn’t, you should embrace it because it is who you are.” Ivar continued to grin and bit his lower lip like he was thrilled with the thought.
“Why are you saying this?”
Ivar shifted closer, very close. His hands held himself up on either side of her as he leaned in closer to her with soft heated breaths against her skin.
“Ubbe wants you soft and weak, to be home and raise his children. I want you feared, raged and fighting alongside me because that is what I love about you. Hiding from what you’re meant to be will do you no good and live a boring life. Embrace it, for me, because you deserve better.”
His words made their hit. For so long people had warned her mother what she might become as she grew older but ever listened to them. Oda knew which blood ran thicker in her, the berserker of her blood had always itched but until that day she caught Ubbe cheating on her was when it emerged, and she couldn’t feel it hide away again.
“Berserkers don’t cry, they rage. Be angry, even hate. Let Ubbe know that he had made the biggest mistake in his life and do it without mercy!” His fuelled words were working. “I want to be there when it happens.”
“And you will be.” She smiled before she leaned forward and kissed him.
It surprised them both but Ivar wasn’t going to let it go, and instead he crawled on top of her, pressing her against the sand as he deepened the kiss. It might’ve been because she was upset but she didn’t care that moment. For so long her love for Ubbe held so much loyalty she and never wanted to betray him, but now she did, and she was going to make him felt every punch. She felt bold and nipped his lips earning a low moan from him before the kiss was broken between them.
“By the gods, you are perfect.” Ivar muttered planting another kiss.
“It is still too soon to tell, but I think I’ve been fated with the wrong man all this time.”
Ivar grinned widely at her and let out a breathy chuckle before roughly kissing her again.
For that week she managed to avoid Ubbe and spent her time either on her own or with Ivar. Her feelings for him grew quicker than she expected, not that she was bothered by it, and in fact it felt good to be still wanted by someone. Ubbe had been looking for her but no one knew where she was and Ivar kept hush about her whereabouts.
A lot happened in that week for her; by that meaning she changed a lot, both behaviour and appearance. No longer did she wear the dresses or her hair how Ubbe liked it, but how she liked it. It felt good to be free from him actually. She had been so blind to see past her love for him she never saw just how much control he had in her life. Maybe those were just words being fed to her by Ivar, but she didn’t care, she felt herself growing stronger and that’s what mattered to her.
She embraced what her blood desired, and becoming a berserker was what it was. Ivar saw the change right before his eyes and never held back his proud grin, lost in an allure from her beauty and nature.
There was to be a feast in a bout a week’s time and that was when she would finally show herself for the first time to Ubbe since that very day. There was a strange satisfaction about rubbing it all in his face and was looking forward to it.
On the day before the feast she decided to take the next step by getting a tattoo with Ivar joining her. He watched with curiosity and arousal with her head laid back as the stick and needle embedded the sensitive skin on her neck. She met his eyes and smiled with the link and blood smeared together on her. Ivar licked his lips at the sight of her as she kept her breathing even.
The night before the feast she went to visit Ivar. When she entered his room he was already in bed with his clothes still on, but he looked like he had expected her. Her new tattoo was still tender but that wasn’t going to stop her from what she wanted from him. She approached with a sway in her hips and smirked as he stared at her in awe but fear.
She knew everything about what happened between him and Margrethe a few weeks before. It made her more angry to find out that she told people that he couldn’t get it up and that he couldn’t pleasure a woman, and when he told her this she wanted to prove a point, that he could pleasure a woman and prove the whore wrong.
“Are you sure about this?” Ivar asked with uncertainty.
At first she didn’t answer him and simply crawled onto the bed and straddle his lap with her dress hiking up her thighs, before she ducked down and stole a rough kiss from him, both moaned at the contact. Moving away from the kiss she moved the sleeves from her dress down and over her chest, releasing her breasts in his view and smiled when he let out a gasp at her figure.
“I want this. Nothing will change my mind.” She went to kiss him again but he avoided it.
“What if I….can’t get it up?” He practically whimpered. She shook her head and cupped his face in her hands.
“Even if you can’t, there are other others to bring pleasure to a woman. But I’ll show you that your prick will work and prove to everyone you are a man.”
It was hard for Ivar to trust people, even his brothers. His mother had only been the one he could count on but now he had the most amazing woman with him and he felt he could trust her with his life. In a short time they had connected in a away no one would understand.
He gave a nod, putting his trust in her and let her lead and show him what to do.
Oda removed his shirt and kissed his passionately while running her hands over his bare chest. She pushed his back against the bed and started to move down his body, kissing her way down to his navel where she started to unlace his trousers and pull them down from his waist and down his tin legs. He started to tremble, and she understood. Tenderly she kissed his knee and moved up his thigh, showing the compassion and love he deserved.
She started to stroke his soft cock and brought her lips to his tip, kissing him gently while swirling her tongue over it. He whimpered at the contact and grasped at the furs under him, not long before she felt his cock twitch and started to harden under his contact. A wide smirk was given from her before she started to suck him, bobbing her head and rolling her tongue over his shaft.
“Oh gods,” Ivar gasped a she felt something happen with his cock under her touch. She know he could get it up without doubt and removed her mouth from him now hardened cock and crawled up to his face.
“Your prick works.” She smiled and kissed him deeply as she adjusted herself on top of him.
Her hand moved under his skirts and grabbed his prick and placed it at her wet lips. She gave a few teased rubs, giggling softly when he winced at the contact he felt. Slowly she sank down on him with a pleased moan as she felt him stretching her opening.
“Ivar,” she moaned his name followed by a grin. “By the gods.”
The evening had been with her rolling her hips against his cock, rocking back and forth with her hands clenching at his chest for support. Ivar groaned under her with both his hands gripped over her rear at both her cheeks. Both their heavy panting filled the room with Oda increasing her movements.
“Can I take over?” He asked in a whimper.
“Sure,” she grinned and allowed him to roll them so she was on her back with him between her wide thighs.
“I knew I could do it, deep down I knew.” He gave a firm thrust earning a grunt and smile of approval from her. “You’re all mine.”
“I’m yours.” She planted a firm kiss to him. “Now fuck me.”
He went true to her words thrusted into her like it was his last night alive. He felt perfect as his cock hit against her walls and bottomed out with his beast growls and heavy panting against her ear
“Oh gods, oh gods, fuck!” His snarls were muffled into her shoulder as his thrusts increased, fucking her with all his strength which was a lot to take his the mussels he possessed in his upper body.
“Ivar! Fuck, Ivar!”
“Come for me, come!”
That was what happened next with him not far behind. His powerful thrusts came to an end at his final where he coated her walls with his seed and remained still, lingering to feel her wrapped around his cock as he laid on top of her.
“Don’t tell me you’re tired?” Oda sudden switched them so she was on top again and pinned him down. “I’m nowhere near done with you.”
His broad grin was the answer she wanted.
The next night the feast was on and everyone gathered in the hall for the celebration. Ubbe, Hvitserk and Sigurd sat together at a table as they drank their ale and chatted softly.
Ubbe had been restless and worried not being able to find Oda during that week. He looked and asked around but no one could help him. The terrible guilt he felt had been punishment and accepted it knowing he deserved it. He loved Oda and needed to talk to her about what happened.
Ivar had crawled his way to his brothers with a surprisingly wide grin and sat at the table. “My brothers!”
“What are you so happy about?” Hvitserk asked with a smirk, curios that had made his little brother happy.
“Would it be hard to believe that I’m just in a good mood?”
“Yes, it is.” Sigurd bit back and again it surprised them to see Ivar didn’t react as he would usually, and instead just shrugged his shoulders and ignored him.
“Have you seen Oda?” Ubbe had asked him many times with no luck.
“I have,” Ubbe’s eyes brightened.
“Where is she?”
“She’ll be here tonight.” Ubbe wanted to be happy he’ll finally get to see her and they could finally talk but something didn’t feel right to him. He didn’t know but something from Ivar just didn’t settle right.
“Ubbe…” Hvitserk beside him said his name softly that got his attention and directed his head towards the approaching figure.
Oda had worn her hair down with braided all through it and a blood red dress that exposed her arms and wrapped around her chest right below her new tattoo on her neck. She looked like a feared warrior as she passed people some eyes watching her closely at the change given, or perhaps word had spread of what happened between her and Ubbe and were surprised to find her there that night. She paid their so attention as she casually strolled towards the table where the ragnarsson’s sat together.
“Here she is!” Ivar loudly announced for many people to hear.
Ubbe stared with wide eyes at the woman he loved, or at least he thought it was the same woman, and watched as she sat down in front of them next to Ivar. She looked different, like a whole new person, and he didn’t know how he felt about it.
“You got a tattoo?” His eyes lingered on the large design that surrounded her neck. It was the first words he said to her all week.
“I did,” she answered smugly at him. “What do you guys think?” Hvitserk and Sigurd nodded seeing the large tattoo done, everyone but Ubbe didn’t answer her.
“Oda, we need to talk.”
“About what?”
He furrowed his brows at her. “What do you mean? About us, about….Can we talk privately, please?”
“No, can’t talk privately tonight. But you can talk here, so talk.” She wasn’t the same woman anymore and she made sure he saw that.
Ubbe looked at his brothers who only shrugged; Ivar held a strange smirk but he paid no mind to that. Oda was his main priority. His lower lip was busted and still had a small black eye when she punched him, and he deserved it. Perhaps talking there in front of his brothers to her would help somehow, for them to see just how much he did love her, and plea for her forgiveness.
“I want to say that I’m truly sorry for betraying you. What I did was wrong, and I never should have hurt you like that. It was a mistake and I promise to remain loyal to you for now on. It won’t happen ever again. I love you and you mean a lot to me.” His beautiful speech would probably work for most women to fall for it and maybe herself at one point in time before but not anymore. She felt nothing as he spoke like empty promises were told and it annoyed her to the bone. His words meant nothing, not anymore.
“How long?” His confusion amused her. “How long did you fuck her?” As much as he hated it he spoke the truth.
“About a month,” he admitted with his head hung in shame. “I should have never started it. I’m sorry.”
She didn’t care. All she wanted was for him to suffer and that’s what she was going to do. Looking around she saw the same slave she caught with him not far away pouring drinks. It was all going to happen that very moment.
“Slave!” She got her attention and raised her cup for her to fill.
The fear wasn’t missed from the slave. Her sores from the attack still lingers but didn’t look as bad as she hoped they would, which made her believe that she got proper treatment which also meant Ubbe must’ve helped her. Of course he would’ve.
The slave she knew as Margrethe approached with her body language obviously shook with fear. Oda saw that and smirked as she poured the ale. The silence between the six of them was strained until Oda broke that silence.
“Tell me slave, how does it feel?”
Margrethe looked up at her as he lips trembled. “H-how does what feel?”
“To be the whore of Kattegat, I’m sure it must be an honour for a lowly slave such as you to have such a title.” Her smile wasn’t kind and of course Ubbe tried to put an end to it.
“Oda, now isn’t the time.”
“Now is the perfect time. Now shut up.” She snarled lowly at him that caught him off guard before she returned her attention to Margrethe. “You have bedded the princes and not just once, there have been many times where you have slacked off your chorus to go and have a good fuck with one of them. Not just them though, there are many other men in this hall you have joined their beds with. At first I thought ‘she’s a slave, she doesn’t have a choice’ but after thinking about I realised that you actually enjoy being fucked. You have even had Ivar, though the rumours you carelessly spread about your time with him did take effect.” She sipped at her ale as Margrethe trembled in front of her. “You never answered me. How does it feel to be a whore?”
“Enough, Oda, you’ve made a point now stop.” Ubbe had to be the hero which only angered her.
Swiftly she pulled a dagger out from her boot and slammed it at his hand, right in between his closed fingers and embedding the table. Ubbe was stunned and looked down at the blade at his hand which he had thought stabbed him at first, only to soon realised it missed him. Hvitserk and Sigurd were left in dismay at what had just happened, while Ivar burst out in a fit of laughter while he clapped his hands.
Her stare at him was nothing but cold. “I’m just getting started.” She removed the dagger and brought her gaze back to the whimpering girl in front of her.
“I won’t repeat myself, slave. Answer me!”
“I…I-I…”
“I-I-I-I,” she mimicked her which made Ivar spit his drink out with giggles. “Are you really that dumb? You know what forget about it I have another question. Why couldn’t you pleasure Ivar?”
“H-he couldn’t get it up….” It was quite but they all heard it. The mention of it made Ivar grip his cup with fury.
“Huh? Well, that’s weird because he had no trouble last night.” She didn’t look at Ubbe as she said it, but felt his burning horrified gaze on her. “In fact,” she started as she stood up and closer to her face and quietly said, “not only does he have an amazing cock, he has a stunning long tongue that reached deeply in me and I drew out the most amazing sounds from my lips.” She praised for the slave and the brothers to hear. “Maybe I should have you join us just to show you what you missed out on, or maybe I’m curious what all the fuss is about....” She reached around her and grabbed her rear in a tight grip making her whimper under the contact. “Hmm, a nice tight arse you have, slave. I see why you’re popular. Men love tight arses”
“Leave her alone.” Ubbe was heard which made her finally look over at him.
He looked broken, shattered over what she had just said out for them to hear. Even Hvitserk and Sigurd looked uncomfortable and wanted to be elsewhere. All the while Ivar grinned happily behind his cup as he watched the scene unfold.
“Why? Not long ago you told me just now that you should’ve never started it and that it was a mistake and that you loved me, do you want to take back those words? Or do you actually care about her?” Her last question his him hard and held a hard look of conflict like he was struggling with his choice or words. She wasn’t blind or stupid to see that he cared about the slave and that didn’t settle well in her broken heart, but it made her chuckle at him. “Oh, you do care about her. That’s so sweet, so lovely.” She made sure her faked happiness was noticed. “Let me tell you something, slave. You’re nothing special, you’re only a whore and that’s all you’ll ever be to anyone, just a slave, attention seeking, fucking whore!”
She threw her drink to the ground at her last outburst, and it was after this that everyone in the hall was staring at them. Oda didn’t care, she felt proud to put the slave and Ubbe in the uncomfortable moment.
Margrethe was in a shaking state with tears ruing her face, frozen in her position for a time before she finally run out of the hall in sobbing wreck. Oda gave a malice smile as she watched the slave run away before she sat down again. Everyone carried on as if nothing happened while the table she sat at remained silent.
“You went too far.” Ubbe’s voice was hardened with his burning gaze on her.
“I went too far?” She laughed bitterly. “You started it, Ubbe, not me.”
“Are you a berserker now?” He hissed lowly. “I can see it in your eyes tonight; you’ve become your father. Is that what you want?”
“Yes, I do. And it’s all thanks to you.” She snickered. “Our engagement is off by the way if you haven’t already picked that up.” Ubbe’s face had become so red and darted his eyes between her and Ivar.
“Is it true, Ivar? Did you have her in your bed?”
“No offence, brother, but she came to me. I understand her like she does to me. You obviously don’t want her. It’s your loss, but thank you for giving me the chance. Skoal!” Oda and he were the only ones to make the toast. Ubbe wasn’t able to handle it anymore and stormed out the hall to be alone, heart broken and frustrated by how the evening went.
“Skoal…” Hvitserk had finally joined as he felt like he should for his younger brother and friend.
Oda thanked him while Sigurd gave a small silent nod.
She got her revenge and it felt good to rub it in Ubbe’s face. He knew what it felt like to be left heart broken and she didn’t regret one bit of it. She was a berserker and proud of her bloodline, where she could be herself and still be loved by Ivar.
#vikings#ubbe#ivar the boneless#ubbe x oc#ubbe x reader#ivar x oc#ivar x reader#ivar x oc x ubbe#fanfiction#fandom#smut#ivar imagine#ubbe imagine
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There are none so blind
Here is my gift for @empathique I really hope you’ll like it !
Prompts : Fluff, Hurt/comfort, Mutual Pining (well I tried to put Mutual Pining, I don’t know if it worked) I tried to mix a bit of all those ideas.
Warning : Chuuya’s language and attempted suicide
A special thank to @dazatsu-exchange for organizing this event and for their work. Thank you very much.
English is not my mother language so I apologize if some sentences are clumsy or don’t make any sense. I swear I did my best to avoid grammar mistakes. Far from the main road, in a dusty bar not as popular as it had once been, stood two people. Despite the lively conversation they were engaged in, it would have been complicated to call them close friends. One of them had the careful tone of a trapped beast and the other watched his interlocutor, almost scrutinizing him, like a predator waiting for his prey to commit one mistake.
“The agency has been getting less job those days, hasn’t it?”
“Not really, we just mainly get small cases like investigating murders and robberies.” The other said, taking a small sip from his drink.
Not for the first time, the man, Sakaguchi Ango, wondered if it would work.
After the fight against the Decay of Angels, once the whole chaos which had almost destroyed Yokohama had finally subsided, Dazai and he had put forward the idea of reforming their friendship. Ango because he missed the close bond they used to share and Dazai… well it was complicated to know what was really going on inside his mind.
The detective hadn’t protested when Ango had asked him to meet at Lupin’s but his tense behaviour was proof enough there was still a long road to cross. Dazai didn’t really talk. He didn’t except for answering to Ango’s question. This lack of motivation wasn’t really a surprise. Yet, Ango didn’t know how he’d manage to endure it. “You still had to take care of an illegal organisation a few weeks ago.”A small smile appeared on Dazai’s lips.
“It didn’t take a lot of time. Ranpo-san found their base in a second and Atsushi-kun dealt with them. They didn’t stand a chance.”
“He didn’t get hurt, did he?”
Dazai glanced at him as if to say “Why would you care? You didn’t mind when it concerned Odasaku?” but didn’t comment.
“Of course not, Atsushi-kun is strong, he won’t get hurt so easily. His control over his ability is really amazing especially if you consider how short it has been since he learnt about it. Not everyone could have done what he did.”
It would have been hard to describe the emotion behind those words. During their acquaintance, Ango had never had the opportunity to hear it. It sounded like a mix between pride and affection. “Can you tell me more about him?”
“What would the military want with Atsushi-kun?”
“I’m just curious.”
“Are you?” He asked with his usual mischievous tone. Ango noticed with surprise it didn’t have any bitterness in it.
“If you like him, he must be interesting.” He explained.
“He really is.”
After this, the evening went swiftly. Ango could see the other gradually relax and let one or two genuine smiles break his careless mask. Ango inhaled deeply. Maybe everything still had the potential to be alright.
Because of his involvement with the ADA during the whole Decay of Angels’ crisis, Ango had officially been nominated as a (babysitter) Liaison officer. It mainly meant that once a week he’d have to deal with the agency’s shenanigans. Mostly Dazai’s. And sometimes Kunikida’s.
(His superiors had found the perfect way to punish him. This was a true anxiety-provoking place. It had also increased his paperwork to such an extent he barely remembered what sleep felt like.)
However, despite his new responsibilities, he had never got the opportunity to properly meet Nakajima Atsushi. He knew about his abilities, a bit about his past but nothing about the kind of person he was.
A part of him almost feared he’d be as… chaotic (?) as Dazai. It would explain why the former mafioso was so fond of him. Was fond the correct expression?
He didn’t have enough datas to define their relationship.
He walked toward the building. He had a meeting with the agency’s president. His younger, more innocent self could have thought it’d be an easy task but it seemed the agency never took a break. The first time he came, he had almost received a chair to the head.
Sure, the agency seemed to be quite a serious organisation, worthy of acknowledgment and respect. In theory. After a few months of collaboration, Ango knew it was just an over glorified madhouse.
Climbing three floors in his physical conditions didn’t happen to be the easiest task. He arrived to his destination with relief and knocked.
A beautiful (but nonetheless terrifying woman) opened the door. Her face contorted with displeasure.
“Sakaguchi-san, do come in.” She said.
He knew from experience that Yosano Akiko was a nice and cheerful person. Today, however, she looked ready to murder a puppy on the spot.
Ango looked around. What could have caused such a change in her personality?
That’s when a second strange detail came to his attention. All the other members seemed to be entirely focused on something. He followed their gaze.
A young man with startling white hair was typing, not noticing anything around him while Dazai was rubbing his face against the boy’s cheek.
His friend was busy acting like a very content cat.
“Atsushi-kun, pay attention to me!”
A red haired boy, Tanizaki Junichirou if he remembered correctly, actually whimpered at this.
“Why are they like this? Why are they like this?”
His sister slowly rubbed his shoulder in a comforting manner. She, also, had a look of utmost disbelief. Still blind to the outside world, Atsushi blinked and looked at his mentor.
“Please, get back to work, Dazai-san.” He said, patience and a hint of tenderness obvious in his words.
“But work is boring. I want Atsushi-kun to spend time with me.”
The youngest underboss in the history of Port mafia, the most feared man after Ougai Mori the boss himself, the one seen as his most probable successor was whining.
How the mighty had fallen…
At least, Ango could now say with say with absolute certainty what kind of relationship they shared. “Dazai didn’t tell me he was dating someone.” He whispered to himself.
Yosano glared at him. He felt a rush of primitive terror cross his spine.
“If only it was this simple.” She sighed.
That’s how Ango became acquainted with The Situation.
He still hadn’t spoken to Nakajima.
Another night at Lupin’s. Outside, drizzle freshened the atmosphere as Yokohama’s citizens lazily walked among the street without a care in the world.
This relative state of peacefulness filled him with satisfaction. It was for this kind of moment, this brief period between two battles, that he liked his job so much.
The bartender brought him his drink. The same boring tomato juice as usual. Soft footsteps made themselves heard.
“Good evening, Dazai-kun.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to come back.”
“We said we’d try, didn’t we?”
“Indeed.”
A drink was put in front of the newcomer. It seemed the manager still remembered about them.
“So, what’s up?” Dazai said, his voice muffled by the glass. “Still doing your boring governmental job?”
“Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?”
A deep chuckle. It could have almost sounded genuine.
“I came to the agency this afternoon.”
“I know. Is that all?”
“I’m afraid the rest is classified. And you?”
“Nothing, nothing. Just the same boring routine ~”
“Is that so?”
“Were you expecting me to say something else?”
“Of course not, it’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it with me.”
Dazai tilted his head. He didn’t seem to understand what he meant.
“I’m not sure I see what you’re aiming at.” He confirmed.
“About Nakajima-kun?” Ango continued.
“You already knew he was my subordinate, didn’t you?” He blinked. After a moment he kept talking. “What did you think we -”
Shock stopped him but it quickly morphed into mirth.
“Don’t tell you thought there was something more.”
“The idea did cross my mind.” He admitted. Chuckles escaped Dazai’s throat.
“He’s nice but I’d never think about dating him.” Dazai said.
Ango stared at his “friend”. Dazai had always been a secretive person. No one, even Mori, could totally decipher what he was thinking. Oda had been the only one able to. At least, to some extent.
Yet, at this moment… Maybe it was a trick of the light… However, Ango would have sworn he had seen sorrow on his face.
“Da-”
“Ango.”
“Yes?”
“It’s none of your concern.”
Cinnamon eyes full of deadly promises. Ango knew better than going against his will when Dazai was like that.
“Let’s keep drinking.” He proposed.
“Very good idea !”
Kunikida had yet to come back from his many appointments. Exactly like the day before, he had spent the day outside, meeting with people Dazai didn’t even try to remember.
A dozen of minutes before, Atsushi and he had received a phone call asking them to wait at the office. From what Dazai had gathered, they had to speak about a case from the highest importance.
Well, everything was “from the highest importance” for this guy so Dazai couldn’t care less. He was on the sofa, staring at something or rather someone far more interesting.
Despite his relative efficiency, Atsushi still was one of the most hardworking member of the agency. He knew it. When drunk, Kunikida-kun often cried about how his prayers had finally been heard.
Finally someone who shares my ideals ! Maybe you should have tried to drown in a river sooner.
Dazai often protested at this affirmation. How could his partner - the one for who he’d do anything (as long as he had fun) - say this ?
Sure, Atsushi did more paperworks, listened more, often helped Kunikida, didn’t do any caprices… Okay maybe he could see the other’s point. But still !
He quickly got his concentration back. Atsushi had adapted to the agency like a fish to water and unraveled his hidden potential. He had managed to hold his promise to Odasaku.
But, you can no longer see him as a way to fulfil his dying wish, can’t you? A saccharine voice whispered inside of him. Dazai looked at the younger man asleep against his shoulder. After a day doing nothing but writing reports, he had earned his rest.
Indigo was starting to appear above the horizon and Kunikida still wasn’t here. Haruno and Naomi had left a few minutes ago.
It’s going to be fun, Dazai thought, to annoy Kunikida-kun about how late he is.
Atsushi had started to snuggle against him. The honey light from the window associated to his sleepy expression made him look like an ethereal being. Light surrounded him like a golden halo. An angel among men.
Dazai took out his phone. It seemed he had found a new wallpaper.
As he clicked on his screen, the door of the office was violently opened. Atsushi jumped in surprise. Purple eyes watched the electronic device in front of his face.
“What are you-” He started but the soft and pleasant voice of a furious Kunikida interrupted him.
“The traffic was infernal ! I don’t even want to know how I’m late I am. Stupid Dazai, you better not try to run away and come here right now.”
The boy blinked and tried to stand. Sleep still had a strong hold on his body and had him stumble like a newborn fawn.
On instinct, his hands shot up to catch his waist and brought him back on the sofa.
“Not too fast, I’m sure Kunikida-kun can wait for you to wake up, Atsushi-kun.”
The mumbled apology he got as an answer brought another smile to his face.
A few months ago, this moment of proximity would have been impossible.
Atsushi wouldn’t let anyone touch him, be it to carry him away from danger or just to congratulate him after a job well done. He’d just jump away and look at the person as if they had just tried to strangle him.
After the first time, Dazai had started to notice how his subordinate would almost dance in overcrowded streets in order not to touch anyone. How his hands would sometimes start to shake if someone was too close to him but how he had relaxed when Kyouka had jumped in his arms.
How he craved for something but didn’t believe he could obtain it. As if the mere idea of someone showing him kindness and affection was unimaginable.
Really, seeing Atsushi evolves through months was fascinating. No one could have predicted how far he’d come. It made him curious. How different would he be in a few years?
I really want to find out the answer to this question.
“Are you alright, Dazai-san?” Atsushi cut his thoughts.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. Can you stand?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“Perfect, then let’s go see why Kunikida is being even more uptight than usually.”
“Please don’t talk about him that way.”
“You know I’m right.”
“Absolutely not !”
“Really ?”
“Yes !”
“Seriously, when did my subordinate stop respecting me?”
As Atsushi was about to respond, his brows furrowed in an adorable manner, Kunikida interrupted them once again.
“I can hear both of you. Stop flirting this instant and come here.”
Kunikida could have thrown red paint all over Atsushi’s face and he still wouldn’t have been as crimson as he was right now.
“Kunikida-kun, you broke Atsushi-kun !”
A group of terrorist named Origine had recently arrived to Yokohama. They were already well-known for the destruction which always happened when they were somewhere. The government had requisitioned each task force they could put their hands on.
As Dazai was leaning over Atsushi, reading the file about their case which had been given to them, Kunikida dropped an information which would soon result in a few headaches for him.
“What do you mean Atsushi-kun and I won’t be working on this case together?”
No matter what some people liked to affirm, Dazai was a mature adult (often, most of the times, sometimes?... Whatever) so he definitely wasn’t whining.
He was just expressing to an awful Kunikida his displeasure to what his partner had just said. Next to him, Atsushi, the traitor, was hiding his laughs with his hands.
“We need you for another assignment.”
“Didn’t you say I couldn’t be trusted when Atsushi isn’t with me?”
At least, it was the reason he always gave when he asked why all his missions were now done with the tiger. (Not that he complained)
“You’re not a child, you don’t need him to be your babysitter.”
“But what if-”
“Stop being a damn drama queen or I’ll kill you.”
“Please do, as long as it’s not painful of course ~”
Maybe he deserved the punch in the nose he got.
“What do you want me to do ?”
“The Port Mafia is going to get involved. They don’t really like having bombers on their territory. The director wants you to arrange communication between them and the agency.”
“So you’re saying it’s the mafia’s fault? How interesting.”
“Dazai, don’t do whatever you’re thinking about.”
“Don’t worry, Kunikida-kun ! I won’t do anything which will bother any human being ~”
Nakahara Chuuya showed up at the agency the next day. Thanks to him, they lost a very fine door which had never done anything wrong apart from meeting a very short-tempered redhead.
Tough luck.
“Where is this damn fucking mackerel?”
Atsushi, Kyouya and a few secretaries were the only one remaining in the agency. They didn’t really know how to deal with a small tornado.
Azure eyes watched all around them.
“Where is he?” He screamed.
“Dazai-san left an hour ago. Do you want me to pass him your message, Chuuya-san?”
“Are you willing to punch him in the throat?” Chuuya asked as he hugged Kyouka.
“Not really, no.”
“Then I’ll wait for him to come back.” He concluded as Kyouka started talking to him about her recent passion for drawing.
Atsushi sighed and stood up to make tea. Haruno and the other secretaries didn’t intervene, far too used to the presence of the mafioso.
A few moments later, the three of them sat in front of each other in the space reserved to clients.
“What has Dazai-san done this time?” Atsushi finally put an end to the silence.
He couldn’t remember how many times Chuuya and he had had this kind of conversation. Sometimes, he felt like he had given him his number only so he could complain about his former partner to someone.
Chuuya breathed deeply. It often meant he was going to talk a lot.
“Do you know how many times I have changed my security lock, kid? Thirteen times. Thirteen ! But no matter what I do, this damn shitty fucking son of a bitch keeps being an annoying fucktard (wow, five curse words in the same sentence, new record). I came back home at 9 pm, not having slept in three days, my only wish was a nice glass of wine. And do you know what I found out?”
Atsushi knew where it was going. He just hoped he was wrong.
“I found out that this fucking bastard emptied all my bottles and put vinegar inside them instead.”
Firstly : Atsushi was worried to notice he had reached a level where he could predict what Dazai did.
“So I decided my revenge would be terrible. When I’m done with him, he’ll be crying tears of blood.”
Secondly : How could two twenty-two years old be less mature than he was?
He felt Kyouka shake against him. Despite her blank expression, a glint in her blue eyes betrayed how amused she was by the situation.
He sighed. If he didn’t appease the mafioso, it would turn into an all-out war between the Double Black. No one wanted that.
Last time, Kunikida had ended up with pink hair and Tanizaki with a fear of spiders he refused to explain.
Fun time.
“By the way, do you both want to have lunch with me?” Chuuya offered.
If Atsushi hadn’t been so eager to appease the other’s temper, he would have noticed the evil smirk which had spread all over Chuuya’s face.
They had gone to a place famous for their tofu based recipe. And also probably for their overpriced food. He’d never understand how someone could pay so much for a simple salad (three thousands yen? Why?).
When he had started to protest, Chuuya had quickly explained he’d be the one to pay before giving his attention to his phone once again. He had been on it for a dozen minutes and couldn’t stop grinning.
What was going on?
Mackerel guess what?
[picture sent]
Atsushi is really a nice kid, don’t you think?
Next time, I’ll burn your hats.
Maybe, I should invite him to go shopping with me?
Don’t corrupt Atsushi-kun with your poor tastes in clothes !!!! (ʘ言ʘ╬)
Do you think he’d look good with a choker ?
jhbh,nilkninnbbd
Enjoy your meeting ~
Say goodbye to your car, slug.
When Atsushi came back from his job, he found Kunikida yelling at Dazai once again.
“Good afternoon, how did the meeting go?”
“This idiot threw his phone against his face in front of the boss of the Port Mafia !”
“It wasn’t my fault !”
“You shouldn’t have been on your phone during work !”
Slimmy arms encircled his waist in a tender yet strong way.
“Atsushi, protect me from the evil guy !”
“Evil? Who are you calling-”
Before the two partners could start a new argument, Atsushi intervened. He took out papers from his desk and slowly started.
“We may have an idea about the place where the organisation is remaining for the moment.”
Kunikida’s business mode immediately activated. The red of anger gave his place to a focused frown.
“Some citizens working witnessed people going around an abandoned factory during the night a few days ago. They called the police but when they investigated they didn’t find anything. Also, the factory is far away from the port so it would be the perfect place in order not to be noticed by the mafia.”
“Maybe one of their member is able to cast illusions. It would explain why they saw nothing.” Dazai said.
“Well at least now we have a starting point. Good job, kid. You and Kyouka will go check on it tomorrow.” Kunikida added.
“Understood.”
As orange melted into purple, Atsushi walked home to the dormitory, Dazai and Kyouka in tow. When they had left the agency, the older man had spent a good deal of time inquiring about their meal with Chuuya. It would have been funny, had they not had this conversation a good dozen of times before.
“You mustn’t let yourself be manipulated. The chibi is an awful person. He’ll smile and all and before you know it - bam! - you’ll think his hats are fashionable.”
“They are not that bad.” Kyouka intervened.
“They’re only a poor tentative to earn a few centimeters. An awful deviation really. No matter how hard he tries, he’ll always be smaller than most five years old.”
“You’re exaggerating now. I don’t understand why you like annoying him so much.”
“As if he doesn’t pay me back a hundredfold. I just don’t like how he’s always lurking around you. He must have some wicked ideas which can only be understood by dwarves like him.”
Kyouka sighed as the conversation proceeded. It was both depressing and entertaining to see how in denial they were. Atsushi wasn’t stupid, how could he not have noticed the green eyed monster which had invaded Dazai’s mind, she mused.
Far away from the center of Yokohama, where no infrastructure could be found miles around, stood a factory made entirely of red bricks. The main entrance had been torn open so it was easy to enter it. It usually was used by unimportant delinquents wannabe which went there to drink and smoke. All around stood barbed wires so full of holes it hardly prevented anyone to enter.
Behind it, a small spot full of weeds which hid the service door. That’s the one they would use to go in.
“Can you explain once again why you’re here, Dazai-san?” Atsushi repeated.
“I just wanted to make sure my kouhai were going to be fine. Since Ranpo-san isn’t available right now, he can’t tell us what we may encounter inside. Surely you can’t blame me for this.”
“It’s only an observation mission.” He retorted.
“It could go wrong.”
“Since this type of mission is mainly based on stealth, you being with us is only going to complicate things.” Kyouka whispered with her usual calm tone.
“Et tu Kyouka-chan?” Dazai complained dramatically.
Despite his mock hurt, it was obvious Dazai was having great fun. His usually dark eyes had taken the shade of melted chocolate.
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” Atsushi whispered as they entered the building.
“Kunikida-kun wanted to torture me so I left.”
“Is paperwork a form of torture?” Kyouka wondered with curiosity.
“Yes.” Dazai said at the time as Atsushi protested.
Their bickers continued until they had proceeded into the building. Atsushi activated his ability and felt his senses improve. The smell of rust, sulfur and humidity invaded his nose. He could hear the discrete steps of bugs and the sound of the wind as it went through the building.
“Have you found anything, Atsushi-kun?”
“Not yet.”
Kyouka opened the door of one of the office. Still no trace of any human being. It was as devoid of human presence as the moon.
Yet, Atsushi couldn’t get rid of the feeling, he was missing something. He focused his whole attention on the room and finally asked.
“Don’t you think it smells of tobacco?”
After a moment, Dazai nodded.
“Probably teenagers who want to smoke without anyone noticing them.”
Before Dazai could offer an answer, a ruckus made itself heard. Startled, Atsushi bursted out of the room. “I’m going to check what it is. Please, stay here.”
Before Kyouka could offer to accompany him, he started running. His unease hadn’t improved. He still had the feeling he was missing something big.
Inside him, he could perceive growls. The tiger was on a rampage, it kept pacing back and forth in his mind like a trapped beast. It knew something.
Atsushi walked into the center of the factory. Just a huge rectangular space occupied by machines no longer functional. At the opposite side : a door. He went fastly toward it and opened it. It didn’t even protest, it had been perfectly oiled. Behind it, Atsushi found stairs which dived into the dark entrails of the factory.
Well, it’s a bit too late to run away.
Fortunately for him, despite his old age, the whole place hadn’t suffered too much from time. This, added to the tiger’s night vision allowed him to reach the bottom quite easily.
The flavour of cheap cologne tingled his nose.
Someone was here.
“Who are you?” He said as loud as possible.
He didn’t expect any answer yet a rough voice answered :
“That is the last of your problem, detective.”
“What do you -”
That’s when he heard it.
A soft tick tocking noise as if death was slowly walking closer.
“You-”
“It’s a shame you’re just a kid but you are an enemy nonetheless. Our organisation won’t let you get away. Farewell.”
A shot in the dark. The man had killed himself.
This explosive sound reignited Atsushi’s mind. For his life, he had no fear. His only worries were for Kyouka and Dazai.
He ran.
You won’t be able to save them. It is useless. You can’t save anyone.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up !
He barely was conscious of where he was going. When he reached the ground floor, two pairs of familiar eyes looked at him with worry.
He’d never let them be dulled by death. Atsushi jumped forward. His body screamed in agony in reaction to the violent movement. He couldn’t care less.
His hands - well, claws now - caught Kyouka and Dazai. He made sure not to touch the later’s skin.
The tickling got faster. Soon, death would strike. He ran and ran and ran.
Then, they were outside. It wouldn’t be enough.
Tic
Tac
Tic
Tac
Tac
TAC
… .... …..
Silence.
He focused his whole power in his arms and threw his charges away. As far away as humanly possible.
Then fire overthrew the world. No more color. Just red.
Oxygen had left Dazai as he was violently moved. He breathed deeply. His chest hurt. Two eyes as beautiful as the sky at sunset were looking at him with panic. Tears had started to fall down his cheeks. He wanted to touch them. To make this person’s pain go away.
When he suddenly understood what was going on, what Atsushi was about to do, frost paralyzed his heart.
No. Not him too.
Why- Why can I never do anything when it really matters?
Light disappeared. Black overcame his vision, a disgusting, oppressive, inky black. Heat burnt his face.
Dazai lost consciousness.
Sentience escaped him again and again.
The man remembered opening his eyes and seeing faces above him. They whispered about important things, things he couldn’t understand.
The man opened his mouth. Dryness prevented him from forming words. A woman came close to him and poured a fresh liquid inside it.
Time had no meaning in his state. Yet, he had seen a particular face, her eyes full of pain and sorrow, take his hand and say : “They don’t know when he’ll wake up. But you… you’ll be fine, right?” Then after a sob : “You have to be fine, *****-san.”
Life hurt, Dazai concluded after opening his eyes for a few seconds. Light was everywhere which didn’t help his already worsening headache. At this moment, if he had had the power, he would have canceled the sun. But, since he still was (despite what he and many people thought) a human at the end of the day, he settled for the second best option and threw his pillow over his eyes.
His mind was fuzzy and his thoughts lacked their usual organisation.
Judging by the overwhelming smell of antiseptic he was in an hospital. Great. What had he done to arrive here this time? Welp, he really didn’t have the time to laze around at the hospital so time to leave !
Atsushi-kun will be furious when he sees I left before being cleared. He couldn’t keep a small smile off his face as he thought about it. His legs were weak and couldn’t hold him well. How many days had he slept?
In front of him, the door to his room opened and a beautiful young woman entered, her face contorted with worry. She blinked when she saw him awake.
“Thank god, at least one of you woke up.” She sighed with relief.
“Good morning, Yosano-sensei ! How are you in this fine day?”
“Don’t try to distract me, Dazai. You better go back in your bed before I use you for shooting practise.”
This didn’t sound like a painless nor a clean death so he obeyed. Yosano nodded with approval and left him. She came back a few minutes after, her medical material in hand.
After a thoughtful examination, she finally said.
“Be careful with your ribs and you should be okay. It could have been so much worse, you were luckier than - well, no need to talk about it, focus on getting better. Kyouka should come see you when she finishes working.”
That’s when it all came back. Their mission, the explosion, and -
“Yosano-sensei, where is Atsushi-kun?”
She didn’t look surprised. She had expected this question to come but it didn’t make the answer any easier.
“He’s alive. Don’t worry. Focus on healing.”
“Alive doesn’t mean well. Where is he?”
“Try to sleep a bit and I’ll bring you to him.”
“I don’t -”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m your doctor, you’ll obey to me, understood?”
“Yes.”
Was he already making plans to escape his room? Of course not ~
Once the nurses had stopped sending him evil glares, Dazai went up and walked. He relaxed his shoulders and started whistling. One thing you learnt in the mafia was that people only paid attention to you if you seemed suspicious.
No one would care about you if you had enough confidence in your moves.
He walked around, trying to find an hint which would tell him where Atsushi was. There still was the possibility for him to be at the agency but it didn’t seem probable. The factory was miles away from the agency. It would have been easier for the emergency department to bring them directly here. If Atsushi still hadn’t woken up, Yosano wouldn’t have taken the risk to shift him.
At the end, his steps led him to the reception. Women in uniforms were talking.
In another conditions, he might have tried to flirt with them but he was definitely not in the mood right now. As he was about to keep exploring, muttered words made him stop.
“Can you believe it? He’s so young.” One of them started.
“I can’t believe this so-called agency would employ a teenager.”
“He didn’t to seem to be such in a shape to me this morning. From what I’ve heard, this explosion should have killed him.”
“Hush. Don’t say this kind of thing. You’re going to jinx it, Kobayashi-chan.”
“Sorry, sorry.” A young nurse apologized.
So he had a name and a proof she had been in Atsushi’s room. Perfect.
Finding the nurse’s planning didn’t turn out to be as complicated as one might expect. Just annoying. He had to wait for them to start their break but at the end he found what he wanted.
He just had to check the rooms the woman had visited.
Maybe he ended up disturbing a few old men and some children but no one needed to know. Room 505. It’s the last one.
Nothing was worse than an hospital room when you weren’t sure the patient was going to make it.
Dazai walked forward. The sun enlightened it and gave it a warm atmosphere.
However, it was hard to forget this same comfortable place could morph into a tomb at any moment. Just a short instant would be enough…
Atsushi’s expression was peaceful like a child napping. His legs were bandaged as if he had decided to imitate Dazai. His body was devoid of any syringe. It would have been useless anyway. The tiger’s healing prevented the use of any drugs. They would just slow down Atsushi’s recovery.
Bangs of white hair fell in front of his closed eyes. Instinctively, he moved in order to push them aside but managed to stop himself. He couldn’t touch him.
His ability had been the only thing preventing him from joining Oda in the silent kingdom. Dazai couldn’t cancel it.
An empty chuckle shook his body. How strange it was to see the liveliest person in his life turns into a stringless puppet.
“I hope you wake up soon, Atsushi-kun. Being here doesn’t suit you at all.”
A greyish smoke flew around the man as he carried his tobacco stick to his lips.
“A government employee smoking? That’s not very serious now, is it?” A voice lacking his usual happy go lucky tone asked.
“We are all entitled to our own vices.”
“I won’t argue with you on that.”
Ango turned around and looked at his friends. His hair had lost its shine and he looked like nothing but a poor copy of his usual self. Asking him how he was seemed like a poor question and he settled on another one instead.
“I take it Nakajima-kun still hasn’t woken up?”
A wild light appeared in his interlocutor’s eyes but it quickly faded under Dazai’s tiredness.
“He hasn’t. Yosano-sensei doesn’t understand why. Physically, he is fine. Well, as fine as you can be after something like that but still nothing.”
“He suffered a great shock.Give him time.”
“It’s already been two weeks.”
“Everything has its own rhythm.”
“That’s stupid.”
“That’s how it is. You’re just impatient, Dazai-kun.”
Dazai lazily ran a hand over his chin. It was rough to the touch. He couldn’t remember the last time he had shaved.
There was an organised way in his neglected appearance. As if he was trying to control his concern. It didn’t quite work but a stranger would have been unable to see it.
“Didn’t your partner order you to come back to work?” Ango asked.
He knew he shouldn’t have but even a clever mind didn’t always do the right thing. Instead of answering, Dazai extended his hand toward him. Without a thought, he handed over his cigarette packet and his lighter. The detective nodded in thanks.
“When the ER arrived and found us, they saw Kyouka-chan and me. One of them left their group and went to see if someone else was here.” A puff. “From what I’ve heard, it didn’t even look like something alive. The pain turned him into the tiger but it still wasn’t even enough. Only a calcined body remained. He screamed like a banshee when Atsushi took back his human form.”
“I’ve read the report.” A laugh.
“Words never really show the truth no matter how hard we try, do they?”
“They don’t.” Dazai agreed.
All the members of the agency came to visit. They often glanced at Dazai with worry as if he was going to cross the fine line between sanity and madness at any time. Only Kyouka and the president (and maybe Ranpo but if he did, he never showed it) seemed to understand him.
His mind was as clear as crystal.
After all, the reasoning was quite simple. He wanted to make sure Atsushi was still alive and so he remained by his side. He would often go home to clean and sometimes eat and come back with books to read. He’d also bring his work so he didn’t totally fall behind.
Those acts weren’t motivated by any reasons. It just seemed to him like the right thing to do.
Without noticing it, he had fallen into a terrible, disturbing routine.
“That was Flint’s treasure that we had come so far to seek and that cost already the lives seventeen men from Hispaniola. How many it had cost in the amassing, what blood and sorrow, what good ships scuttled on the deep, what brave men walking the plank blindfold, what shot of cannon, what shame and lies and cruelty, perhaps no man alive could tell.” Dazai read, his voice focused and controlled.
He noticed he had almost reached the end of the novel.
“I really hope you appreciate the sacrifice I’m making right now, Atsushi-kun. I haven’t opened The Complete Suicide Manual in days.It’s quite annoying, you know.”
Still no answer. That’s okay, he really wasn’t expecting one anyway.
His back had started to hurt a few minutes ago. It was times to go back to the dormitory.
He looked at Atsushi’s frozen stature. This lifeless image had almost replaced every memory of his happy subordinate.
Dazai stretched and started to walk away. A soft sigh interrupted him. He turned as quick as lightning toward the bed. It wasn’t the first time he had imagined Atsushi waking up. His traitorous imagination liked to torment him with this kind of fantasy. It was always easy to ignore them.
As he opened the door once again, he heard someone moving around in the bed. The first signs of movement in days !
Eyelids fluttered around like a butterfly’s wings when it was about to fly away.
Creamy white gave its place to golden and purple.
“Atsushi-kun?”
“D-Dazai-san?” Atsushi croaked still not fully back in the living world.
At this moment, hope and despair, pain and pleasure, light and darkness merged together. He felt light. As if someone had pitied him and decided to take his twenty-two years old burden from him.
“And Kunikida-kun says I am lazy ! Do you know how long you slept?” He teased him. But his eyelids had once again closed. However, this time, his chest kept going up and down. He was merely asleep.
There are some things you can only reflect upon when the initial emotion which created them fade. For Dazai, it was this moment.
He felt the cruel dark thing curling up in his chest. It kept growling and muttering about how those people would pay, how he would make them bleed.
An unknown force which refused to let him get away and who would stare at the boy as if he was the sun.
Something surprising he didn’t expect to feel one day. He had always known he felt something for the younger boy. A bit of indulgence on his part.
He didn’t mind those emotions as long as they didn’t disturb Atsushi.
But this was just -
Downright dangerous and possessive.
He couldn’t expose such a good person to it. The consequences would be terrifying.
And Dazai had never been brave.
He left and didn’t look back.
It quickly escalated from here and for days the ADA barely was productive.
They kept coming and leaving Atsushi’s room. The first week, when Atsushi took examination after examination, someone always accompanied him, be it Kyouka (most of the time), the Tanizakis, sometimes even Ranpo. Yosano spent all her times at the hospital as an official supervisor.
After it, when it was deemed reasonable for Atsushi to go home, Kunikida had to wrestle with him in order for him to have another week of rest.
“I can’t continue missing days.” He protested.
“Yes, you can ! You’re not coming until you are at the top of your form.”
“The tiger healed me totally.”
This debate often ended with Kunikida catching Atsushi by the collar and bringing him back to his dorm.
“You didn’t go to see, Atsushi-san.” Naomi noticed one day.
Everyone was in the office as they caught up on their paperwork. The only absent one were Atsushi and Kyouka - who often followed the boy like his shadow more often than not those days.
“I had a lot of things to do.” He explained.
Ranpo snorted.
“Is that how you call it?”
Had he still been in the mafia, they’d never have found the sugar-addict’s body.
Yosano hummed and looked at her friend. They conversed without a word and the woman snickered. Not in a cruel way but like a parent seeing their child do something stupid.
Tired of this, Dazai glanced at the papers in front of him and stood up. He had lost the narrow motivation he had and left the room, his headphones in his hand.
“Should I have stayed silent?” Naomi asked.
“Don’t worry, it’s not your fault.”
“City dwellers really ask themselves a lot of questions.” Kenji commented.
“It doesn’t have anything to do with where he lives, he’s just an idiot.” Ranpo said.
“Please, get back to work.”
“You’re no fun, Kunikida.” Yosano complained.
Eventually, new wounds faded into scars and Atsushi came back. Well, as long as he promised to take it easy. The only remnant of his accident was a small mark under his right eye. Dazai wondered if there was a limit to his healing ability. Why hadn’t the tiger managed to cure this?
“Is everything alright, Dazai-san?”
He had stared at him too much.
“Shouldn’t I be the one to ask this?”
“Yosano-sensei told me you also got hurt.”
“Nothing too awful. I am as well as usual.”
“Good, then.” He answered. A strong disbelief could be read in his eyes.
The attention became too much in no time. He couldn’t stand it.
Atsushi’s return couldn’t be described as a ‘bad’ thing but it also meant it’d be harder to avoid him. Before this, they had both talked quite a lot during breaks, they had gotten used to interacting regularly. To stop without any reason was bound to make him react.
“I forgot I had something to do.” He singsonged.
An hand on his shoulder. Dazai gulped.
“Try to run away and you’ll experiment true pain.” Kunikida whispered.
O ! His partner was stressed and furious, it would have been a wasted opportunity not to bother him. This was going to be fun.
(Atsushi-kun, who?)
His nap was interrupted by a soft hand touching his back. Dazai blinked and looked at the person who had disturbed him.
“What’s wrong, Atsushi-kun?”
“Do you want to go explore libraries today?”
“I think I’ll have to pass.”
Silence overcame the room.
When Atsushi had started to work at the agency, he had often gotten lost in Yokohama. The difference in size between the city and where he used to live had disturbed the young man. That’s why Dazai had endeavored to show him every interesting place he knew. Mainly shops and tourist attractions. Once he had become comfortable with his surroundings, they continued doing it as a tradition between the two of them. Sometimes, Kyouka would come with them.
She had however quickly stopped.
They’d go to the museum Dazai liked or to librairies where Atsushi could find new books to devour, at least once a week.
In sickness or in health, Dazai had never said no.
Not once.
For him to change his habits so suddenly was as far away from normal as it could get. Atsushi knew it. The whole room knew it. Hell, even the slug and Akutagawa knew about it.
However, Atsushi, as sweet and kind and usual, smiled and didn’t ask.
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow. If I find something interesting I’ll bring it to you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“But I want to.”
For a moment, Dazai thought about forgetting his promise to himself. He had never been a saint, why start now?
But for once in his life, he wished more than anything not to mess things up with his subordinate, he’d resist and wouldn’t touch the apple in front of him.
Atsushi wished everyone a good evening, thanked them for their job and left.
The ice in Dazai’s lungs had started to infest the rest of his body.
“Seriously, what is wrong with you?” Kunikida mumbled.
Now, that was a question Dazai also would have wanted to know the answer to.
Thus, the descent to hell continued. Dazai would no longer try to talk to Atsushi of work and if he did, his tone always carried the cold, unmoving tone you might use to converse with a stranger. Most of the times, he felt himself drift away. A machine which accomplished his tasks and then stopped working. Logics, not emotions, are the key to succeed in this world.
This endless, consuming void which had grown back in his chest. It felt like being in the Port Mafia once again.
His steps led him to Lupin’s. He knew what was around him without fully understanding it. He sat and ordered their strongest drink. The old bartender stared at him but brought him a glass without saying a word.
“You shouldn’t be drinking this state.” Someone reproached him. “I’m drinking because I’m in this state, mom.”
Ango sighed and came next to him.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“You already know what is going on. Kunikida-kun never stops sending you reports about everything.”
“Dazai-kun, don’t act stupid, you know it’s not the same.”
Sometimes, your body just couldn’t accept positivity and kindness. You wanted to hurt those who tried to help you. That’s how Dazai felt at this moment. His dark thoughts had begun growing like weeds once again.
“Listen, if you care about Nakajima-kun, it’s a good thing. You should try to - I don’t know? - develop your relationship. Odasaku-san would want you to -”
“Don’t you think it’s a bit immoral to talk about someone you killed?”
Horror bloomed on Ango’s face. He had managed to wound him. Good.
“You’re trying to keep me away. It won’t work. I’ve already told you : you’re my friend. I won’t give up on you.”
Positivity once again. Dazai couldn’t deal with this right now. He stood up.
“I want to be alone.” He merely said.
“Then I won’t bother you for the moment.” Ango replied. “But if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me.”
Dazai forced himself to put his mask back.
He could resist.
He walked and walked and walked. He didn’t know where to go nor what to do.
A ghost among the living.
Sunset colors had overtaken the sky and almost no cloud covered them.
I’m tired.
Water stood in front him. He had reached Yokohama’s suburb. Or at least the bridge which led to it.
A soft odour of iodine flew in the air. Under him, the liquid kept shifting and moving calmly. A silent danse so fascinating to watch. Like Narcissus, he felt himself attracted to the river. It would be so easy to go over the edge and let gravity do his job.
He climbed over it and kept moving forward.
Dazai fell.
He couldn’t hear anything. The river was as silent as his mind as he descended toward the bed of the waterway. Floating freely was nice. Coldness burnt his skin and he felt his lungs tense inside his chest. All his thoughts were leaking out of him, the positive, the negative, everything. The water was cleaning his being.
The cold lips of death came closer and closer. He could feel her breath against his face. She was smiling and cradling him.
Well hello, Lady Death, I hope our acquaintance will last.
Death’s hold on him was growing stronger. It had caught his arms and pushed on them with strength. If his mind hadn’t so fuzzy, he would have noticed those were very human hands.
And suddenly air invaded his body again. He gasped with surprise.
Deaf to his protests, someone drew him toward the riverbank and pushed him on the ground. Seconds later, heterochromatic eyes were upon him.
“Are you alright?” Atsushi almost screamed.
“Are you the one who interrupted me? Again?”
Strong arms encircled him.
“Thanks god you’re fine.” He mentally thanked Ango for his text.
Shaky hand pushed apart the bangs which had fallen in front of his eyes.
“Do you - Do you want to talk about it?”
“I shouldn’t.” He whispered.
“Does it matter if you need to?”
Of course he had heard him. Damn his tiger senses.
“Don’t bother, Atsushi-kun. I just wanted to take an evening bath.”
Considering his doubtful expression, he probably didn’t believe him.
“You shouldn’t worry too much. I’m your superior, I’m the one supposed to worry about you.”
“Of course I worry. I really care about you, Dazai-san.”
It would have been so much easier if this boy didn’t offer his light without any hesitation.
“It’s not the first time I try to kill myself, Atsushi-kun. You should stop worrying so much every time.”
“I can’t do that. No matter how long and how many time I need to do it, I’ll always be here.”
“You’ll get tired eventually, you know. I’ve been told many times, it is quite painful to be my babysitter.”
“You really are stupid sometimes, Dazai-san.”
“How dare you ? I’m stil your superior.” He chuckled.
“You don’t need someone to take care of you. You can do it by yourself but it doesn’t mean no one should try to help you from time to time, don’t you think?”
Atsushi was biting his lip. He was obviously trying not to add something, Dazai understood.
“And you’d like to be this person?”
“As long as you’ll have me.”
“You’ll regret it.”
“That’s something I should decide for myself. I personally don’t think I will. You’re a good person.”
“No I’m not.”
“You’re trying to be. Most people don’t bother with it. That’s a good starting point.”
“Has anyone ever told you you’re far too positive?”
“You can thank yourself for this.”
“You were already like this when we met.”
“I don’t think so.”
Laughter bubbled in his chest as he looked at Atsushi’s expression.
“Well, your obsession with chazuke isn’t my fault.”
Indignation erupted on his interlocutor’s face but it quickly melted away to reveal relief.
“Is something wrong?”
“You seem to feel better.”
Maybe he did, at least a little bit but that’s not all the younger man wanted to say.
“And?”
“It’s selfish of me to think about myself right now but I’m really glad we’re talking again. I was afraid I had done something to offend you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Then what happe - You don’t have to tell me anything, of course !”
Cold was shaking his whole body and his lips had taken an almost blue shade.
Maybe I can give him the truth.
Atsushi’s hand went back to his shoulder.
“You don’t have to force yourself. If you don’t want to tell me-”
“I do but it’s a bit complicated.”
“O, I see.”
Dazai hummed. This wasn’t the perfect setting. They were both soaked to the bones and sat at the riverbank. If anyone could see them right now, they would think they were asylum escapee.
“Do you know what I did, Atsushi-kun, when I was in the mafia?”
“I can imagine it a bit.”
“I’ll never be a good person, I’m selfish and revengeful. Not the type of person you should associate with. I could hurt you and not regret it a bit.”
He expected protestations but Atsushi said instead :
“Pity yourself and life becomes an endless nightmare. Aren’t you the one who told me that?”
“Don’t use my own words against me.” He whined.
“Those are smart words.”
“Well, I sometimes have bright ideas.”
“It surprises me really. You’re able to see value in others but you’re totally unable to see it in yourself. Kyouka wouldn’t live in the light without you, the agency wouldn’t work as well -”
“I’m going to tell Ranpo.”
“Please don’t. We wouldn’t have won against the guilt and Dostoevsky and the Decay of Angels.”
“Are you trying to kill my modesty?”
A weak punch in the arm. Dazai chuckled.
“I would have probably died or ended up in the Guild’s hands. I’m glad I met you. And if you really think what you said, well, don’t worry, if you do anything stupid I’ll stop you. Or at least I’ll try as much as I can.”
“Is it a confession?” Dazai joked.
What was one supposed to do in this kind of situation? Doubt it? Smile about it? Panick? Maybe blush about it? (well, yes, Atsushi was adorable when he had this determined expression, but it really wasn’t the moment).
He could only trust him and fear what this promise would lead to. Until now, Atsushi had always reached his goals. Even Akutagawa hadn’t resisted him and he was to stubborness what the slug was to bad tastes in clothes.
In reaction to his question, pink coloured the weretiger’s pale skin.
“Please don’t make fun of me.”
“I won’t, don’t worry !”
… …. …….
“Can I really not?”
“Dazai-san !”
People always had ulterior motives when they showed him this much support, Atsushi wasn’t this kind of person. First of all, you could see through his lies as if they were made of glasses. He had the nature of an earnest man. He wouldn’t pretend. Of that he was certain.
Despite those facts, he couldn’t help but probe the other. Was he hiding something from him?
Under his glaze, the pink shade had deepened into scarlet.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m only admiring you, Atsushi-kun!”
“Keep those compliments for the waitresses, Dazai-san.”
“You don’t want them?”
“Not when you’re only pretending so you can have fun.”
“I’m always serious when I flirt with someone as pretty as you.”
Atsushi looked ready to strangle him. Because of embarrassment or anger, he didn’t want to know.
“Please stop making fun of me.” Atsushi repeated.
“But it’s so funny !”
He could no longer see his eyes. They had fallen behind silver locks and didn’t look in his direction. This marked the moment he finally understood what had laid behind Atsushi’s words.
No lie had been in his previous words. He could hurt people and not even understand why.
“Atsushi-kun, I-”
“That’s okay. I didn’t expect it to be mutual if it bothers you-”
Two hands fell on his shoulders.
“Atsushi-kun, how smart do you think I am?”
“You’re the smartest but also dumbest person I know, why?”
“Because I’m going to prove you how stupid I am.” He inhaled. “I honestly hadn’t noticed how you felt for me.”
This time, surprise illuminated Atsushi.
“But I was terrible at hiding it.”
“And I terrible at noticing it, it seems.”
He wanted this. Dazai couldn’t deny it. Maybe for once, it would be okay to let go. An anchor had appeared, someone who would help him stay on the path he had promised to follow. Odasaku, am I taking the right decision?
“Now that we’ve established how utterly unintelligent I am (this remark earned him a warm laugh), let’s move to a decision we’ll probably regret. Are you okay with it?”
“Are you going to ask me something dangerous?”
“Not at all.”
“Then, yes.”
Slowly in order to allow Atsushi to leave, he lowered his head. Destroying the space between them was easy. He had wanted this for a long time. A soft feeling appeared on his lips.
Their kiss didn’t stand out from any other. Their faces barely touched. The contact was as soft and ephemeral as a butterfly but it held promises, something which would last.
Immediately after, Dazai withdrew. A sneeze escaped from him.
“I hoped it’d be a bit more romantic.”
“Let’s go back to your flat, you’re going to catch a cold at this rhythm.” Atsushi chuckled.
“So bold of you ! We haven’t even gone on our first date !”
New exasperated fond sigh. Atsushi stood up and offered his hand to the older man.
“Can you stand?” He asked.
Dazai nodded and caught his hand.
“Let’s go home, Atsushi-kun.”
Spring had come.
Kunikida Doppo considered himself a very patient man. Any other person would have tried to murder his lazy partner a long time ago. However, the recent events were too much, even for him.
“Atsushi-kun ! Pay attention to me !”
“Dazai ! Don’t distract him while he’s working.”
Always the same old song. Dazai pouted (How could this man be an adult?) and sat back. His brown eyes didn’t leave Atsushi and he kept staring at him while he was typing his reports. An expression so soft on his face Kunikida almost couldn’t look at him. How can the brat not notice his feelings? If this keeps going they’re going to drive us crazy!
One day, they both came to work, Dazai glued to Atsushi’s side. The brat was laughing at something the bandage-wasting device was saying. Kunikida screamed.
“How about we both tell them to go somewhere. They discover they’re both at the same place and decide to spend time together. Then, later they both understand it was a date and decide to go out together.” Yosano hiccuped as she emptied another glass.
“It sounds a bit too much like a cheesy romance novel, don’t you think?” Kunikida answered as he also took a sip of his. “We should threaten them into admitting their feelings !”
Their conversation had stopped being productive at their sixth drink. Ranpo stood next to them, a shit-eating grin on his face.
“How long do you think it’ll take those idiots to notice they’re already dating?”
Poe stuttered.
“I-I-”
His start of answer was cut short by Yosano throwing her arm around his neck.
“Why aren’t you drinking?” She asked.
“I don’t really like-”
The woman took out her chainsaw.
“I wouldn’t mind something to drink.” Poe stuttered.
“That’s what I thought.”
One day, Naomi got tired of this. She walked up to Atsushi, her brother asking her not to cause trouble behind her. Dazai had left a dozen minutes ago muttering something about “slug eradication”.
“Atsushi-san!”
The said person put his cup of green tea on the table and turned his head toward her.
“What’s wrong, Naomi-san?”
“Don’t you think Dazai-san is amazing?”
“I’m probably going to receive a message about how he’s annoying Chuuya-san but apart from that I agree with you. Why?”
“You should totally tell him then !”
“Naomi...”
As Atsushi was about to answer, his phone rang. He picked up.
“Hello, Chuuya-san, how are you?... What do you mean he tried to paint all your hats yellow?... I see... No I’m not laughing !... Please don’t throw him out of the window !... Yes, I’m coming. I’m really sorry, Naomi-san, I need to go.”
Once her friend (prey) no longer was here, the young woman pouted.
“Why can’t they see they are made for each other?”
“Let them figure it out.” Her brother proposed.
“But we could go on double date if they were together !”
“Is that your only reason?”
“What are you plotting today?” Kunikida finally asked with a grunt.
Dazai stopped humming and stared at his partner.
“Do you want me to be plotting?”
“I’d rather eat your cooking.”
“How did you want me to know you weren’t supposed to mix chocolate and beef?”
“Common sense?”
“Rude. Anyway, why were you asking?”
“You seem to be far too cheerful right now. It usually means something unpleasant is about to happen.”
No answer came apart from soft chuckles. “Do you really want to know?”
The anticipation wasn’t worth it.
“No.”
“Really?”
“No.”
“Kunikida-kun?”
“I said no.”
… …. …..
“Just tell me already.”
It was like talking to a child. A very hyperactive and manipulative one but a child nonetheless. A small part of him couldn’t stop thinking Dazai had acted this way so it could lead to this discussion. Considering his wide smile, Dazai probably saw what he was about to reveal would stress Kunikida.
“I have a date tonight !”
“I’m sorry what?”
Probabilities flooded his mind. Was he lying? Was it another one of his attempt to commit a double suicide? Had a woman agreed to die with him? He really hoped not.
“Is that a joke?”
“Of course not !”
“I’m not going to receive complaints about how you tried to drown with someone, right?”
“It will be a perfectly normal date.”
His definition of normal kinda scared him.
“We’ll eat together and spend time together in general. Actually, we’ll go on our first real date next weekend but we wanted to spend time together so we agreed on this.”
It sounded reasonable. A word he would have never thought to associate with Dazai.
But it brought another problem.
“Does the brat know?”
“Atsushi-kun? Of course ! Why wouldn’t he know?”
You told someone who likes you you were going on a date with someone else. How blind are you? That’s what I’d like to say but I can’t intervene. What do I do?
This question occupied his mind until they went back to the agency.
(Meanwhile, Dazai was just happy to think about his date with Atsushi. And if it stressed his partner a bit … well, it still was a nice bonus) (Though he didn’t understand why)
One day, you’ll understand how things can while still remaining the same…
Dazai had never been the kind of person to think about romantic relationship.
He had Odasaku and Ango and that was enough for him. They were enough to fulfill his loneliness. If he wanted to find physical satisfaction - which was not as enough as others would expect - he’d just find a woman willing who would not ask too many questions.
It hadn’t changed when he had left the Port Mafia. He just wasn’t interested by this sort of thing. There were times he had thought about it by sheer curiosity but never would he have imagined himself dating someone.
His feet curled around Atsushi’s and he felt him laugh against his side. Things could have been much worse.
It felt almost natural to be here, watching a movie with Atsushi.
“You’re not bored?” The young man asked.
He thought about it. Boredom hadn’t weighed his mind for some times.
“No.”
“That’s good then.”
Atsushi’s hand kept moving. A lost traveller which didn’t know where to go. As carefully as he could, he caught it. If he didn’t feel comfortable, he could take it away at any moment.
He did not.
“Yes. It’s good.”
“Atsushi-kun is not paying attention to me!” Dazai moke whined.
“I’m cooking, Dazai-san.”
“Giving up on your boyfriend for chazuke, I knew this day would come !”
“I- I”
“O, Is the “boyfriend” part getting to you?”
No answer was given to him, Atsushi’s focus only offered to the boiling water.
Yet, there was a soft rose shade on the top of his ears. It would have been a shame not to darken it.
“Don’t try to distract me.” He scowled me.
“I’m merely stating we’re dating. It hardly counts as a distraction.” And if he almost purrs the last words well he would accept any blame. The other was on his way to become a traffic light, he couldn’t have missed this opportunity.
“You’re really cute !”
Being threatened by a wooden spoon wasn’t the most terrifying experience of his life. Atsushi’s reddened face, however, was probably one of the most adorable.
Now, how far could he push the little tiger?
Later, when it was times for Dazai to get back to his flat, they found themselves in front of the apartment.
“So… did you have fun?”
They were both alone. Nothing could be heard apart from distant car noises.
“I did, thank you, Dazai-san.”
“Despite the fact you had to make dinner?”
“I don’t mind.”
Dazai hummed.
“I’ll apologize with a proper date, then !”
“Please don’t overdo it.”
“But it’s my first date with Atsushi-kun, it needs to be memorable.”
“Nothing I say will change your mind, right?”
“Nope, you’ll just have to wait and see what kind of perfect idea I had for next week.”
“Alright.” Atsushi smiled.
Now would have been the perfect moment to get closer, Dazai thought. As he was about to follow this idea, a voice interrupted them.
“It’s too late for you two to be so lovey-dovey. Just stop.”
“Ranpo-san !”
A few days weeks later, a weird event shook their life.
Atsushi had been doing his paperwork quietly. He had finally caught up on everything he had missed, something he was proud of. Maybe this productivity had to do with his neighbour’s absence. Toward 10 AM, Dazai had disappeared. What should have been another of his attempt to ditch work had turned out to be a full morning off.
Maybe he just wanted to be alone. It happened. Days where everything around him was too much and he decided to isolate himself. But this morning, Dazai had been in a good mood. At least from Atsushi’s perspective.
Maybe he should send him a text to ask if he needed anything…
“Atsushi-kun.”
“What’s wrong, Yosano-sensei?”
“Come with me for a moment, I need your help.”
“Of course.”
In retrospective, Naomi’s determined stare and Ranpo’s snort should have been a clear indication that something was going to happen.
They walked out of the agency and toward the storage room. The place which contained every objects they might need such as paper and ink.
“I can’t seem to reach the higher shelf.”
“But you’re taller than-”
Before he could utter a single more word, he found himself being pushed inside without any warning.
Clic
The door was closed. Atsushi shook the door wrist as strongly as he could.
“Yosano-sensei?”
No answer.
He was locked inside.
“So someone joins me in my imprisonment.”
Against the back wall sat Dazai.
“So that’s where you were. Are you alright?”
“I am perfectly fine, for once, Kunikida-kun won’t blame me for not working.”
“As if you care when he does.”
“I will not answer to this very obvious provocation.”
Atsushi sat down and felt himself be brought against Dazai’s side.
“You don’t mind?”
“No, it’s fine.” His head fell on Dazai’s shoulder. “Do know why they did this?”
“I warned you that every ability users was a bit messed up in the head.”
Yet, Atsushi rose a very valid question, why did they do this out of the blue?
He thought about it for a moment. How each of the agency members had acted the last days.
Oh, interesting ! The sadistic part of his mind immediately started thinking about how far he would have to go for them to understand how their relationship had evolved. Then, Atsushi took his hand and well it stopped there.
He had far more important things to take care of for the moment.
“Atsushi-kun.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I just noticed something.”
“What is it?”
“We’re both locked in a closet.”
Atsushi groaned at his bad joke.
“Do you think they will mind if I forcefully open it?”
“Kunikida-kun will.”
“You can’t pick the lock?”
“Do I look like the kind of person who can do this?”
“Dazai-san…”
“I started reading another book from Stevenson.”
He had done better in terms of change of subject but it did the trick nonetheless. Atsushi’s eyes started sparkling with curiosity.
“Which one was it?”
“The strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. It’s - interesting.”
Maybe “started” wasn’t exactly the right term. It was the second time he read it. He just liked understanding and exploring every aspect of something be it a novel or a painting.
Atsushi nodded, understanding what he meant.
“There are lots of different ways to interpret it.” He agreed.”And the themes developed in it are still of actuality so it’s a good book to read.”
“But you still prefer Treasure Island.”
“But I still prefer Treasure Island.” Atsushi smiled. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of coming-of-age stories.”
“I’m not sure pirates really are one-legged and have parrots.” Dazai said.
When Atsushi spoke about novels and literature, a spark as bright as a firework in the night exploded in his eyes. A deep passion for life, a beacon in the dark. He wanted to protect it more than anything.
That’s why when Atsushi started his whole presentation about how Stevenson had been a big influence for the adventure genre, Dazai smiled, put his arms around Atsushi’s waist and listened.
Someone eventually liberated them. As Dazai was about to speak to Atsushi about The catcher in the Rye, another novel the young man might enjoy, Fukuzawa opened the door.
As per usual, their president didn’t say anything. However, his tense shoulders showed his worry. “Freedom at last !” He chirped.
“I have paperwork to finish.” Atsushi immediately added.
Fukuzawa shook his head.
“That won’t be necessary. You can just finish it tomorrow.”
“But-”
“Being locked inside must have unpleasant for you. Just go home and rest.” Fukuzawa almost ordered Atsushi.
He seemed to evaluate what their boss had said but finally accepted.
When they went inside the office to get their belongings, they found a yelling Kunikida. “How could you do that? You’re supposed to be members of a well-respected organisation, not middle schoolers !”
If Naomi appeared remorseful, Yosano barely paid attention to it. Her eyes were set on Atsushi and Dazai. It was like being watched by a hawk.
“Tch, nothing changed.” She whispered.
Instead of getting back home, Dazai had brought Atsushi to the closest arcade.
At this hour of the day, no one really occupied the place. It would still take a few hours for students to invade it. If Atsushi had been surprised by their destination, it had quickly yielded in front of curiosity. Apart from hearsays from the Tanizaki siblings, he had never set a foot inside it.
“Today, Atsushi-kun we’re going to discover the marvels of claw machine?”
“Aren’t those totally rigged?” At least that’s what he remembered Junichiro saying.
“Nonsense, it is quite easy once you know how to do it.”
This said, he walked like a conqueror toward the machine he had spotted while wandering in Yokohama. Atsushi watched everything around him. Neon lights stood everywhere around them like exotic frogs. He wouldn’t have been able to say if he found all those machines original or just blinding.
“Ta-da!” Dazai proclaimed once they had reached their goal.
The other watched and immediately proceeded to groan.
“Dazai-san…”
“Is there a problem, Atsushi-kun?” He grinned happily.
“Just, why?”
“It’s another Atsushi-kun ! We may need it !”
“Why would we need a giant tiger plushie?”
“That’s the question you’ll need to find an answer to once I have won it.”
Behind them, one of the employee - a woman in her early thirties - said to her colleague.
“It reminds of my first date with my husband. This idiot wanted to impress me.” She chuckled.
“Did it work?”
“Not really. He ended up trying a dozen times and totally failed.”
“Is that so?” She giggled.
Oblivious to the two women (or at least as much as he could be with mafia induced paranoia) Dazai focused on what was before him.
“Now, behold my great mastery of this machine !”
“Have you ever come in this kind of place?”
“A few times. But it was infested with slugs so I didn’t stay long.”
His hands ran over the two buttons. As he finally caught what he wanted, he saw his prize go toward the exit only to fall down.
“It won’t resist me for long.”
“Please, don’t waste your money on this.”
“Next time will be the right one.”
Spoiler alert : It was not.
Later, when they went out, a far too big plushie in his arms, Dazai was pouting in mock deception.
“I will pierce this machine’s secrets.” He promised.
“You really shouldn’t have wasted this much on it.”
“It was a question of personal pride. I won’t be bested by a thingummy of glass and iron.”
Atsushi tried to resist. He really did. But there was a limit to how long he could hold back when Dazai bore this expression full of disappointment and promised revenge.
The terrorist organisation had laid low since the explosion. A good part of their effort went to finding them but considering no trace of them was found well… maybe the mafia had already taken care of them.
That’s what each of them hoped at least.
They didn’t worry about being able to defeat them. As far as they were concerned they could take care of it. Few organisations could resist the agency. No, the real problem was the anticipation. Nothing had been found on Origine, they had disappeared like snow at the end of winter and without any clue, even Ranpo’s genius couldn’t help.
However, one day, something confirmed their worries. A policeman had recently been found dead. When Ranpo came back from his investigation - an almost gleeful smile on his face - and said :
“I know where they are.”
Both Kunikida and Yosano rose immediately.
“Thank you.” The man congratulated him. “As usual, we can count on you, Ranpo-san.”
“Perfect, I’ve wanted to have a conversation with them for quite a long time.”
Her taking a cleaver out of her bag didn’t leave any doubt about the nature of the “conversation”. “Do we have the time to plannify our attack or will they leave their hideout before?” Fukuzawa asked. Ranpo took a while to answer.
“We have two days but we should hurry.” He concluded. “You really don’t want them to carry out what they are preparing.”
Daikoku Futo was one of the most well known artificial island of Tokyo Bay. It served as the link between the main cities of eastern Japan since the seventies thanks to the creation of the Bayshore Route.
You could - if you knew how to - go under it which would lead you to the room where the foundations had been built. An area of an hundred square meters totally devoid of any civilian.
The perfect place if you didn’t want to be found.
From rumors, they had learnt a few members were powerful ability users. It made Dazai’s presence vital even if he wouldn’t fight on the frontline.
They warned Ango about it and once everything was set, they went. Going down without being noticed wasn’t an easy task yet Atsushi noticed each member had a sort of grim resolve in them. Kyouka stood next to him, her eyes attached to him like a dragon to their gold. “Stay close.” She almost ordered.
Yosano was with them. The three of them would lead the attack. Tanizaki and Kenji would serve as backup if needed. The rest would block any other issue to prevent them from escaping.
As they waited for Kunikida’s signal, Atsushi saw Yosano sharpen her cleaver with the most terrifying smile he had ever seen on her.
Seriously, what was wrong? “Are you sure everything is alright?” He asked.
“It will, once those bastards have paid for what they did.” She grinned.
“Did you know the policeman?”
An almost sad smile answered him.
“You have no idea, don’t you, kid?”
“No, he doesn’t.” Kyouka nodded.
As he was about to ask what they meant, Yosano’s phone vibrated. “Better go back to work.” She sighed.
Everything had been fine. They had been as quick and deadly as a snake. As people said, those who angered the Armed Detective Agency never stood a chance.
All of them had received the correction of a lifetime and would have a lovely chat with the military.
Atsushi looked around him. Tanks all around full of products he couldn’t identify, wires and what should have been supports for the bombs. Tanizaki had found a map of Yokohama with red crosses all over it. The location they had wanted to destroy.
Half of the city would have been razed. It would have led to millions of death.
“Well, good work everyone !” Dazai cheered.
“Were they also looking for the Book?” Atsushi wondered.
“Not really. From what their file says a conflict erupted between them and the Port Mafia. They wanted to take revenge and apart from his subordinates, this city is the only thing Mori-san really cares about.”
“No matter their reasons, it still concerned every gifted organisation. We couldn’t let them do what they wanted.” Kunikida added.
“Kunikida-kun looks so virile when he says this kind of-”
A punch in the face kindly ordered him to fuck off.
“Anyway, the military should arrive soon, try not to - Dazai, behind you !”
One of the man stood up. It was one the ability user who had fought against Dazai. His power allowed him to control sound waves. The corner of his face had taken a plum color which increased his almost insane look.
“I won’t let you win. Don’t think about it for a moment.” He spat.
A bandaged hand came near his face but not fastly enough. The man activated his ability and threw his palm toward the closest pillar.
A moment of silence.
The kind your heard before an Armageddon.
“Dazai, get away from him !”
Crac
The whole zone seemed to split like dead wood.
Atsushi jumped forward. A stillborn scream clawed at his throat. Like in a slow-motion movie, he saw the rock start his deadly fall toward Dazai. No
No No
The pillar continued collapsing and with it a part of the ceiling. If it reached Dazai, nothing would be able to save him this time.
In the back of his mind, he could hear the sinister laugh of the Origine’s member.
I can’t just look at this. He felt rather than understood his body shift. His tendons and muscles hardened and in the blink of an eye he was on him.
In opposition to the last time, Dazai awoke quite quickly. His whole body hurt but his mind was as clear as water which was great. Concussions were a nightmare.
“Don’t move.” Someone ordered.
He was a middle aged nurse who was busy writing on his notepad.
“We’re getting you ready for an operation. You should go back to sleep.”
“Is Atsushi-kun alright?”
“Just rest, you have a broken arm, sir. Don’t worsen it by moving around too much.”
The man took out his phone and texted.
“The anaesthetist should be here soon.”
“Is that necessary?” He said as pleasantly as he could muster.
“I’m afraid so, sir. Your radial bone was broken in three parts. It won’t heal by itself.” Then after a thought he added. “Yosano-sensei asked the best doctors of the hospital to take care of you. You can trust us.”
If only it was so easy.
God, he hated hospitals.
“Brat, would you keep calm?” A very tired Kunikida said. Making sure all the Origine members were recaptured had been a trial. He no longer had any glasses, those had been broken during the collapse and a blue mark had been painted under his eye. Next to him the rest of the agency was sitting, waiting to know if their friend was fine.
“Atsushi-kun, I’m sure Dazai-san is alright.”
Kunikida nodded : “For a suicidal maniac, he has the strongest vitality I have ever seen. He’ll be fine.”
Dazai’s operation had just ended. From what the nurses had said, it should be no big deal but there was still a very low risk he’d lose his arm. This hadn’t calmed Atsushi’s already very strong distress.
When they were still at the organisation’s base, the tiger’s body had protected Dazai from most of the danger. Only his arm had been almost crushed. If the tiger hadn’t reacted so quickly no part of his member could have been saved.
I’ll never be able to hate you ever again, he thanked the entity inside of him.
A soft roar echoed in his mind and the feeling of fur brushing against him grew on his skin. It made him feel a bit better.
“Excuse me, are you “Atsushi-kun”?” A man asked. It was the nurse who had taken care of Dazai earlier.
“Yes, Nakajima Atsushi. Can I help you?”
“Are you part of his family? He has been asking about you.”
“I don’t think he has one or if he has, he never speaks about them.”
“So what’s your relationship? He wants to see you but the protocol only allows those who are close relatives.”
“We’ve been dating for almost two months now. Would it still work?”
A strangled noise made itself heard, it was followed by a “Excuse me, what?”.
“I think it should. Follow me please.”
“Thank you very much.”
“What the hell?” Yosano screamed, ignoring the employees asking her to remain silent. “How could we not notice? HOW COULD WE NOT NOTICE?”
Then after a moment she turned toward Ranpo.
“You knew it.”
“Well, yeah they weren’t really hiding it.”
“Now that I think about it, Dazai-san was always stuck to Atsushi-san.” Naomi said.
“He was already like that before they started dating though.” Yosano retorted.
“And he kept inviting Atsushi to have lunch with him.”
“Stupid Dazai already did it in order to skip work.” Kunikida intervened.
“And he’s always praising how hard Atsushi-san works and how cute he always looks.” The young woman concluded.
A beautiful moment of silence took its place among them.
“Their behaviour didn’t change.” Yosano sighed.
“They were already acting like a couple well before they started dating.” Naomi said, awestruck.
“I’m really happy for them.” Junichirou muttered.
“At least it won’t give me more paperwork.” (this one was obvious)
“This whole discussion made me hungry. Now that we know Dazai is alright, can we go buy sweets?”
“I’m still furious at you for not telling us.” Yosano commented.
“But I’m not the only one who knew. Kyouka-chan also did.”
“What?”
“I saw them kissing on the sofa.” She declared bluntly.
“Interesting.” The doctor purred. “What else have they done?”
“Yosano-sensei !”
“Are you awake?” Atsushi whispered. The body in front shifted under the blanket and messy chocolate hair escaped from under it.
“I hate hospitals.” He groaned, his voice raspy from sleep.
“Do you want me to bring you anything?”
“Just stay here.”
“Alright, I will.”
He took the chair the next to the bed and sat. Dazai’s healthy hand immediately found his as if controlled by sheer instinct.
“I just had an idea to feel better.”
“No, Dazai-san, I’m not going to kiss you while you’re injured.”
“You could just come closer, it won’t be a problem if you don’t touch my arm.”
It would have sounded smooth had he not still been under the effect of the anesthesia.
“It’s not reasonable. You need to heal quickly.” That’s what his reason wanted him to say. However, the image of Dazai imminent death kept haunting his conscience. He needed to feel he was still alive. “If it hurt at any moment, you will tell me, right?” He asked.
“Of course !” Dazai approved as he moved over to give him place.
He didn’t really believe him but he could only hope the tiger’s senses would tell him if it was becoming too much.
Finding a comfortable position turned into a wrestling match. At the end, they stood face to face, their legs tangled together. Atsushi rose his hand and moved aside the few strands which disturbed Dazai’s sight.
“Thank you for being alive.” Atsushi whispered.
“It’s thank to you.” The man answered as he softly went back to sleep.
Soft lips fell on his forehead. “Good night, Dazai-san.”
Inside a graveyard stood a man. His eyes set on the stone in front of him. “You don’t have to worry anymore, Odasaku-san. He is in good hands.”
Author’s note : So that’s the end? I really hope it corresponds to what you wanted. It ended up being far longer than what I thought it would be.
I’m sorry if it’s boring or clumsily written. PS : The novel Dazai is reading to Atsushi is Treasure Island from Robert Louis Stevenson. RL!Nakajima Atsushi was said to be a fan of his work so I thought it’d be a nice detail to include.
Have a nice day or evening.
#dazatsu exchange 2019#dazatsu#atsushi nakajima#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs#This + exams destroyed all the energy I had left
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