#zero remembering mariella and seeing the similarities between her and remia kills me

[mnemosyne-xiv]

“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰. 𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰.”

It was Remia’s words that echoed in her thoughts while she had drifted in that suffocating darkness. Even when the voices of their comrades pierced through the shadowed veil and reached her ears in distorted waves of sound, pleading with her to not surrender herself to the void Zeromus tried to drown her within, it was Remia’s words from before they returned to the Thirteenth that were the clearest of them all. The only words she needed for her to find the strength to continue her fight.

“𝘕𝘰 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵.”

Zero’s steps slowed to a stop. The long stretch of stone floor that made up the vestibule of Golbez’s domain was laid out before her. The others had already returned to the moon’s surface while she had remained behind to speak with Golbez in private. Even Remia had followed the others after she had made sure the memoriate was alright, leaving her alone. It was, strange, to put it simply. Zero could hardly remember a time after she met Remia when she’s been truly alone. Usually the short, spiteful woman was somewhere close, or Zero herself would seek her out if she had wandered off. A terrible habit, she knew, but that never stopped her from searching for the voidmage.

Now she was all by her lonesome. Her gaze traveled from the stone floor up to the swirling clouds of fog that hid the depths of the domain from sight. Clad in ivory armor, her scythe broken only to be replaced by a sword and shield of ornate design, she stood still with her eyes trained above. She quietly watched the fog swirl and fade only for a new wave to come rolling in, her thoughts coming and going with the same ebb and flow.

There was something familiar in Remia’s words. She had heard something similar before. Back when the world was still rich with color and sound. Overflowing with life while the fires of war ravaged the land. Shortly before all was washed away by the deluge of darkness that devoured everything it touched. 

“𝘽𝙚𝙞𝙣’ 𝙖 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙖𝙞𝙣’𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙣’ 𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 ‘𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩? 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙨𝙖𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙨? 𝙃𝙚𝙝, 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙩. 𝙄 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙢𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣’ 𝙖 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤? 𝙉𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧. 𝙄’𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩. 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙖. 𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣’ 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧. 𝙃𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙨, 𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚! 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙄’𝙢 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣’ 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙡𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙖𝙢𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙, 𝙝𝙢? ‘𝘾𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪.”

When Zero’s eyes fluttered open, she was no longer alone. The click of Remia’s clawed shoes echoed from further outside the vestibule, growing louder with every step. A hint of a smile ghosted across the memoriates lips.

Perhaps she wasn’t a hero. Just as Mariella outright scoffed at those who tried to call her one, Zero now understood why she refused such a lofty title. And to think it took her this long to see that there was no hidden meaning to her words back then. That the last time she and Mariella spoke would be the first time Mariella had ever been wholly honest with her thoughts. Though that did leave Zero with a new question.

“Why did you tell me I wasn’t a hero?”

Remia rolled her eye when she stopped a few paces in front of her. “Why?” She repeated. “Because you’re clearly not a hero. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this for you to—”

“No,” Zero cut her off. “I mean, is there a reason you don’t want me to become a hero?”

That gave the voidmage reason to pause. And then the corners of her lips were curling into a sly grin. “Ah, so you finally asked the right question.” Her warm giggles echoed in the open space as she turned to start back the way she had come with a nonchalant skip in her step. “Judging by your thoughts, I daresay you already know the answer to that.”

“But you can’t read thoughts.”

“You’re right, I can’t. But I can sense your emotions and see glimpses of your memories.”

Zero caught up to the short woman with only a few long strides. “I still don’t understand.”

More giggles escaped Remia while she cutely peered up at her companion. “My favorite voidsent,” her grin softened into a genuine smile, her uncovered eye shimmering with a warmth Zero couldn’t quite place, “you’re the last memoriate with a good heart still capable of fighting for your home. Let’s not ruin that by having you dawn the mantle of ‘hero’ as well.”

“𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙤, 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙈𝙞𝙨𝙨 𝙈𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚?”