#thread: getting too used to this
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arobinwithoutbatman · 3 months ago
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"Huh. Older than my Red Hood by quite a lot actually." And he just left it at that.
He at least had the sense to stay on the fire escape, he hadn't been invited in and also, tracking dirt through his home or safehouse would just be rude.
"I'm not bitey... oh! You mean Damian. Yeah he's not in my world."
Oh. Oh Hood was having a day off apparently... whoops.
"I'm... really sorry about interrupting your day off. I don't get to choose where I land." He was quiet for all of a minute. "And for your information, I got this from my Bruce and none of us, probably not even him, knew this would happen. None of us knew the multiverse was a thing."
He's still in trouble for keeping it from his siblings for so long.
Things growing awkward, Robin did what he knew when he'd run out of small talk topics. He wordlessly offered one of his spare granola bars as an apology. Who didn't like food? And it was all he had on him right now, anyway, other than his weapons, first aid kit and water.
Those were all words Jason wasn't a fan of. Teleportation he didn't trust. The few times he was thrown in one, he felt every damn cell like he was scattered in a thousand directions. And multiverse? That was just an invitation to trouble. Especially if this guy knew who Jason was. He was almost tempted to ask just how Catholic the Red Hood's real face was where the guy was from-- he was always curious after finding out about Father Todd.
"Yeah sounds like maybe someone like you shouldn't have that kinda shit in your hands, dumbass," he said irritably. But the helmet hides the confusion at all the questions. Why the hell should he answer them? Still. There was nothing harmful in them.
"Robin keeps his ass with the Bat, I don't want his bitey attitude over here. Little shit... and we work fine enough. I just like my goddamn peace, which you are interrupting." And then the last question. That one... was a little damn personal.
"Not quite twenty, not quite thirty." Not quite aging. But he didn't think that'd been noticed by... well. Anyone.
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tapestryundone · 23 days ago
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quiet is right handed and always holds the blade in his right hand as a result. he is tied to the narrative that the narrator constructed through the blade and no matter what happens in any runthrough the knife will always end up in his hand at least once no matter what he does or what he truly wants
the princess is always chained by her right hand. no matter what, she is always bound to the cabin and the narrative that the narrator constructs. tsm is represented through countless arms and yet the princes is always placed in a basement with her right hand shackled
both quiet and the princess are trapped in the construct, parallel to one another. the knife is to the long quiet as the chain is to the shifting mound
in the prisoner chapter, if quiet becomes chained then he must lose the knife. there is no purpose to overlapping ones shackles, he just trades one for another
anytime that the princes recieves the knife, she becomes free of her chain. there is no purpose to overlapping ones shackles, she just trades one for another
the knife and shackles are equivalent, and both must be shed in some way for the shifting mound and the long quiet, or the princess and quiet/hero
at the heart of the shifting mound, the princess will always be free. the shifting mound is free to choose anything she wants. shes waiting for you to choose. the apotheosis establishes that she could destroy the construct if she so chose, but if the long quiet doesnt break free with her, destroying the construct will destroy him, too. she is free of her shackle but she has a choice between leaving with the long quiet or killing him- mirroring that the long quiet has a choice between leaving with the shifting mound or killing her. only that the shifting mound made her choice, and that is that no matter what happens, she will not destroy the long quiet
at the heart of the shifting mound, quiet has the choice to take the knife and give into the narrators script- to abide by it or return to its beginning and reread the story all over again- or to abandon his own shackles and free himself from the story the narrator wove
effectively, the chain and the blade must be abadoned in some way for the two to be free. with or without reaching the heart of the shifting mound, neither can be free until the remnants of the construct are abandoned, until their unique tether to the construct is left behind
and if the two are a palindrome, then the letter in the center is the cabin- a structure that exists for both of them and is a construction of the narrator that they both influence differently but in equal amounts. they both have been built around it and feom it, very literally, and the chain and blade are both offshoots of it that the narrator uses to control them
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concord-and-cliches · 6 months ago
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you're playable in a yakuza game? you eat worms now. you eat worms.
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thebroccolination · 8 months ago
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THE EX-MORNING SERIES CONCEPT
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By now I think many people have heard that KristSingto’s upcoming series is an original script that was written for them. What we also have confirmed is that it was written about them.
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[source]
KRIST: This series was written by P'Backaof and directed by P'Lit where they created this script from the start deliberately for the two of us and they got information for the characters etc. from KristSingto directly. In the series, the name for P'Sing is Tamtawan, and my name is Phatapi. And Tamtawan Tamtawan and Phatapi are KristSingto themselves.
INTERVIEWER: Does that mean you play yourself?
KRIST: [laughing] Yes, we act as ourselves, so it's not difficult at all.
Today, Aof elaborated on his part on Twitter:
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[source: @backaof]
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[translation: @_beinglistener]
And Jojo added:
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[source: @jojotichakorn]
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[translation: @_beinglistener]
So, two gay men are the leading creative minds behind KristSingto’s comeback series. Time to study up on your KristSingto history, kids. \:D/
Long live sanctioned RPF. 🎉
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#krist perawat#singto prachaya#kristsingto#the ex morning#i’ve already seen the same tired ‘guess rent was due’ about krist and#i see on twitter when people link my thread about krist to people still insisting he’s homophobic#man’s rich#he works constantly#he even said it’s something he regrets now that his grandmother who raised him passed away#he worked so much he didn’t have as much time for his family—who he helps support#he is quite literally considered bl royalty#he has more queer people in his circle than straight#waa (gay) is his mentor#aof (gay) wrote this series and jojo (gay) thought up the concept so even professionally he's supported by queer people#you don’t have to like him#and you don’t have to admit to sending death threats to a stranger who doesn’t speak your language based on rumors you didn’t verify#just y’know#admit quietly to yourself alone in your head that you were wrong and you caused harm to a person who didn’t deserve it#plenty of actors use bl as a stepping stone to bigger jobs#he’s not one of them#he wanted to do bl for years but gmmtv told him he could only work with singto#so literally the only reason kit didn’t do bl until BMF was scheduling issues because singto wanted to study abroad#and singto couldn’t get a fixed date for it and then the pandemic messed with his plans even more#i’m glad to see more and more people are understanding who krist is recently#and even in the series they made pathapi’s controversy an impulsive act of anger#krist has said he used to struggle with being hotheaded#and one of his apologies for the igs was even something like ‘i acted without thinking of how it would look out of context’#he just wanted people to stop harassing him for his sexuality but the context isn’t in the igs#anyway my go-to when i’m too tired to talk about this is always this#if he had ever been homophobic thai people would be the ones leading the charge against him…but it’s interfans
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yukipri · 2 years ago
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Good morning.
A very kind follower let me know that my clones art has been stolen and reposted, again. This time on Tiktok.
So here's a new version of my art. It's called: "Apparently putting 'Do Not Repost' on the art 4 times + in my bios of every social + FAQ isn't enough, so how's this?!"
I'm feeling very defeated and exhausted.
I just finished filing a DMCA yesterday. This new art theft version already has more views than every like/note on all versions of my art on all of my socials COMBINED + multiplied. This art was only posted a few days ago. I'm beginning to deeply regret drawing it.
Art thieves getting views and likes does NOTHING for the community. Imagine of those likes/comments/followers had come to me, on any of my socials. Think of how excited I'd be to connect to new folks, how hyped I'd be to draw more.
(how maybe, just maybe, someone official might one day notice and it might lead to more😭)
I don't think I've hit 10K likes on ANY art I've ever posted on Twitter in 8 years, and certainly nowhere near that on Tumblr in a while. That's ok, I understand that's due to my own lack of skills, which is why i work hard daily to improve!
But ART THEFT DOESN'T HELP. This person did NOTHING but stress me out, make me regret sharing my work, and take away valuable time and mental energy from me producing more work. And I promise you, they will not be able to make my art for you.
Don't worry, I'm not just complaining about it. I've filed a DMCA (tho gosh TikTok's form is WEIRD, really hoping it worked🥲)
But please. If you see an art theft account, please don't give them views & likes. Someone else worked hard on that. They could really use your support.
Anyway, here's the link to my art on Tumblr. On my account. Since, y'know, I drew it.
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yippee-optimistically · 7 months ago
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from this concept:
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I now have a very cool, very soft, and entirely hand-made 2017 Louie plush !!!!!!
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Very silly tail ⬇️
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He has a completely functional pull-apart jacket zipper !!!
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Also completely functional: the pockets 😼
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And here is also a closeup on the little phone
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He is made up almost entirely of fleece, all hand-sewn. His shirt and some of his eyes are felt (also the scar on his foot). He's stuffed with polyfill . He's weighed down with lentils 😭 His pattern is made custom by me :) I'm not sure exactly how long he took, but I'd guess some amount of months. Maybe 2, but maybe only a few weeks of collective actual work days
He does also have a dog toy type squeaker in him
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vinceaddams · 1 year ago
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sewed a button back onto the nightgown it had fallen off of and then went to get the laundry out of the dryer where I was immediately met with another button that had fallen off another nightgown.
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lorei-writes · 11 months ago
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... You know what would absolutely suck about Luke and Jin both?
If you wanted to knit them a sweater by hand, it'd take a damn eternity. Why so big! Why so big! Why did they have to grow so big and wide! (They each can get a... scarf?)
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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When I find it hard to do certain things, I like to pretend I am a neanderthal living in a cave with my clan, and I must do The Thing in order to survive.
So, when I'm doing cardio at the gym, I'm actually chasing and tracking a mammoth, and when I need to cook, well, I'm not cooking on a stove top, I am hurdled over the first fire and watching the fat of our kill drip down onto the burning wood. And when I find it hard to crochet, I pretend that the first winter storm is coming and our clan needs me to make blankets to hurdle under and that I must contribute.
I hope whatever you do to do The Things will help. It is a uniquely personable trait to motivate yourself through pretend and stories. That's what makes this life interesting - that's what makes you feel larger than yourself 💛
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jankwritten · 2 months ago
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I will never be normal about Ox and Gordo’s relationship actually. Thinking about them makes me insane. Like imagine being abandoned by everyone you love everyone all at once they’re all dead or gone across the country or fucking banished to prison and they left you alone, ON PURPOSE, and you can’t do a damn thing about it because if you leave you abandon your home, their home, you lise what feels people you have left and is it even worth it when they left you so easily and
There’s a little kid hiding behind his fathers knees and he’s never had root beer and you watch him grow into this intense strange boy who doesn’t understand that his father isn’t coming home his father left him and god don’t you know how that feels and you watch him learn his way around a car and you remember the man who taught you who gave you a chance who listened when you said what was wrong and
He needs a job and you’re the only one who cares so you help, god, of course you help, you can’t let him or his mom lose what little they have left so you let him work for you under the table, he doesn’t need to but he demands it even though you paid off their debt as soon as he asked. It’s the money of those fuckers who abandoned you, anyway, and Ox needs it Ox and Maggie need it and
He’s everything to you he’s your son your brother your life and he’s fifteen and he’s your fucking tether, he keeps you human, and you think finally, finally you’re healing. You both had shit dads who dealt you shit cards but you’ve got each other and you don’t need anyone else and
Then they come back and it’s not for you. They come back and they don’t even speak to you.
But they speak to him. To Ox.
They need him. Just like they needed you when you were barely a teenager when your father leveled that town when he killed your mom when you had to become their witch because the pack needed it your Alpha needed it because Thomas-
But Ox chooses them, over and over. You try to make him understand that they’ll only use him and hurt him and he doesn’t care. He chooses them. The damned wolves.
Imagine the man you loved hated needed despised dies and his son makes every imaginable mistake and you follow him because he is your Alpha he needs you and you leave. You leave Ox behind and you hate yourself every day, for three years, you know how this feels you know exactly how this feels and it’s bitter in your throat because you hate him him Mark him for this choice you’ve just made and you understand and you hate it and it’s vicious and you can’t forgive him so how can you forgive yourself and
You come home and he’s not a boy anymore he’s not a kid but a man and he’s tall and strong and he’s the Alpha, somehow, and he doesn’t need you anymore.
But he forgives you. Easier than you’ve ever forgiven anyone in your life, he forgives you because he loves you and you love him and you came home.
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electric-plants · 8 months ago
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slight hsr spoilers but—
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they might as well have just impaled me on a stake
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butch-bakugo · 28 days ago
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Its not a shock to me that most "transandrophobia doesn't exist" people are trans women, mostly white trans women. They have a very specific image of what a trans man looks like and it's only two categories: the hyper fem, tits out, make up, twink trans man who doesn't pass nor try to and the hyper masculine, bearded, t'd up, all the surgeries, big buff trans man who you could never clock. They genuinely think every "transandrophobia truther" is lieing about not getting privileges they don't fucking have.
They genuinely believe every trans man passes and therefore we get male privilege and they get backed up by trans men who do pass and think a cis man making rape jokes with them and asking about their lift set is male privilege. Lemme shatter the illusion because as much as you like to scream about some wide spread privilege that doesn't exist, most trans people, in general, do not pass. This is especially true for trans men due to the hyperfocus society puts on feminine features. I have never met a fully passing trans man and I've met over a hundred personally irl. never. I know they exist but the fact y'all think we, en masse, get male privilege is factually just fucking wrong.
Trans men are not more acceptable or palatable to transphobes. Trans men are not more likely to pass. Trans men in mass do not get male privilege by virtue of our lack of passing and our medical history. Most trans men are still affected by the gender pay gap and thus can not afford surgeries.
You do not acknowledge the existence of non-passing trans men, only uphold the voices of trans men who pass and have the money for surgeries (a small percentage) then wonder why trans men laugh in your face when you make claims about male privilege we do not experience.
We are more likely to be conversionally raped than you. We are more like to be forcibly detransioned than you. We are more likely to experience domestic violence than you. We are more likely to experience hate crimes than you.
Trans men's hyper visibility in online spaces dose not transfer to real life visibility. You are more likely to see white cis gay men and white trans women in any media or ever mentioned than even white cis lesbians or white trans men. Your rhetoric is the origin of the "theyfab" myth. Our issues are invisible to you cause you do not care about other trans people besides yourself and other transfems. Everyone and their trans mother knows about transmysogny and the issues you personally face yet you expect trans men to be silent about their issues and feel like they should be silent because they are men. Trans men are more likely to experience litterally all forms of violence over trans women in every single avenue of violence that exists; religious, sexual, domestic, familial, etc. We are more likely to be stopped and abused before we socially transtion than anyone else due to hyper vigilance of society over afabs. You can scream all you'd like about how we only bring up our sex/the gender we are often raised as when it's convenient but you always ignore those often traumatizing experiences when it's convenient for you.
Many Transmascs and trans men had a traumatizing upbringing because society views us as "bad women" and " bad women" get treated so much worse and by many more angles than "bad men" specifically because we were forcibly assigned as women. You take advantage of a lack of nuance in the community by trying to group us with cis men specifically because you group yourself with cis women. News flash, neither of us and our experiences should be grouped with ANY cis group because we do not have cisgendered experiences.
I seriously think you think you are the most oppressed group in the trans community and you are not, not by a long shot. You are not the most oppressed group in the transgender community and that's a statistical fact. The most oppressed group, by far, are two spirits and cultural genders by virtue of them being inherently indigenous and indigenous people being the most oppressed race of people in the community regardless of the location they are indigenous to.
You are literally taking advantage of the things that were drilled into transmascs at a young age to be seen and not heard and to be quiet and let others talk, that they are lesser than everyone. Everyday there's a new story in the community of a cis man or a trans woman getting a trans man/masc pregnant to hurt them or force them off t or to detransion, this is not a fucking accident. You are not men, no one ever said you were, but you sure love to silence them like they do.
I'm not quiet, you do not intimately know our issues the same way we do not intimately know yours, You don't get to tell us what we do and don't experience and the fact you'd rather cry wolf and suspiciously call us "bitches" than hear us out, tells me everything i need to know. That alt right to trans woman pipeline you said you escaped? Yeah, you didn't. Ur just an alt right trans woman, Try Again.
#levi speaks#people who arnt transmasc stop trying to claim you know transmasc experiences enough to say they are bs challenge#i see transandrophobia daily and i see their issues never addressed#theres a huge issue involving transmascs being raped to make them pregnant and stop their transition#its mostly cis men but ive seen multiple abusive transfems do it too and they dont talk about it#its like its a dirtt word like they cant acknowledge their own but expect us to apologize daily for the existence of kevin garrah#a trans man that wasnt remotely blair white Caitlyn jenner-ing up the trans community and disappeared 7 fucking years ago#curious why you guys keep haeping on our one guy when every week theres a new white transfem on my fyp#talking about the woke cult and how shes the only good one#then 3 weeks later apologizing cause the leopard ate her face#im not blind i notice a pattern#its always white trans women and cis gay men acting the fucking fool and i dont think thats an accident#i dont think theres no common thread#i still think they are women i also think they are still white and still think they have some masculine invincibility to criticism#then get shocked they arnt treated as darling princesses by the racists and transphobes they try to appeal to#i do think people that claim transandrophobia isnt real are doing so from a place of mysogny#wether thats internalized or not#they always sound like fucking reddit incels#just listening to the language they use when they talk about transmascs and cis women only tells me their fave podcaster is joe rogan#just bleeds pewdiepie asmongold ben shapiro nonsense#and then cry and point at you like every other white woman with her tears when you point it out 😂#i do not think most transfems are part of this issue#i do think they have general ignorance about issues facing the transmasc community but i think thats a two way issue#most transmascs dont know all the issues taking place in the transfem community#im specifically talking about the transfems who make hating transmascs and cis women a full time job#and claim they only feel safe around cis men#like ok you just outed urself as a run of the mill mysognist drawing weird lines but ok#before someone acts the fool im both#im intersex with transmasc and transfem experiences and identify as both#its ridiculous that i get slapped with an anti-self label cause i asked a transfem to care about the other half of the fucking trans communi
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taviokapudding · 11 days ago
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My dad and I were chatting before bed when he said "damn shame Republicans hate Democrats too much because you almost saved the United Healthcare ceo"
And I stared at him in confusion until I remembered I convinced Democrats to write the active shooter alert system bill in 2022 & Republicans said no. Since my Twitter is gone, the thread of me @ everyone is gone. And when Trump got re-elected, I removed the video discussing the bill concept for public comments. It fully slipped my mind because I went from pulling teeth & being reluctantly patient to full on cussing, cursing, and hexing the government by the end of 2023.
I hope that Twitter DC staffer is having a good laugh- I bet their bosses are pissed wwwwww
I don't remember the exact wording I wrote to the White House when I cussed out Biden for funding war crimes (2023) & the bill itself (2022) but I did list consequences I foresaw that are happening now, so suck to suck if nobody listened & are on the receiving end of massive hexes
I guess my dad is right, the GOP technically killed Brian Thompson in 2022
#mun post#the downside of being a death witch with foretelling and pattern recognition is nobody listens until it's too late#the fed collectively moving to shut down tiktok after i cussed them out was their biggest mistake with public relations so I already#hexed and cursed many of them - they should've never fucked with Death#168 Republicans killed Brian Thompson because nobody wanted to hesr me out except th3 handful who still are at DC trying to fix the mess#i wish them the small handful the best because being inside doesn't mean they can do major change when their bosses are for greed and wealt#over democracy and the well being of the masses#o7 active shooter alert system bill- you will be deeply missed#united healthcare#and since all the public comments and thread information are deleted- Congress is on their own to figure out what to do- I refuse to assist#unless they send me 100M and total protection from all military practice and weapons testing on the US public#my dad was like WTF YOU FORGOT#and i was like WELL TO BE FAIR WOULD YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T HEWR YOU OUT#and he was like YOU KNOW WHAT? FAIR- THEY SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO YOU- NOW THEY GOT EVERY CEO ON THEIR DOORSTEP BEGGING FOR PROTECTION#like i hexed everyone complicit in genocide qnd democide with ironic death#the gods and the people get to decide how it plays out- the engraved bullets is sick af#i predicted the wealthy would get shot inevitably in the next 6 yrs- i never said how because that's not my jurisdiction#artemis and apollo only came into my life recently and have doubled down on what i can see and have seen- but Death is gearing up to topple#an empire again and I told people as early as summer 2019 bht nobody cared sooo
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twopoppies · 3 months ago
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mad-hunts · 8 months ago
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@divingdownthehole
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as barton was left to his own devices in the kitchen, it only then just occurred to him how the seven-fold bistro had a tv in the side of their lobby. and that could potentially be very bad if they weren't talking about the latest humdrum gossip in relation to bruce wayne or something — so, he would have to find a way to not appear suspicious and also, turn it off if they were talking about the death of the two guards already. barton sighed to himself as he pushed a chunk of the chicken on his plate to the side. he really had his work cut out for him here, didn't he?
of course, there might be a chance that jervis could handle it, he thought. but the last time he had handled something, he'd done it by sticking pins into someone. barton suddenly found himself standing up as if he was startled by the very thought of something like that happening to ravi. he had to create some sort of plan, for he couldn't just bust out of those doors, even if nothing was going on on that television. he tapped on the cold steel of the table below him with his sharpened nails as he contemplated what to do. maybe he could just stick by the almost saloon style doors of them for a bit and listen in on what exactly was going on out there.
just as ravi and jervis had made it to the front of the restaurant, his feet were carrying him to push his entire body flush against the doors, but with not enough pressure to actually open them. he thought he could hear jervis's voice now, but it was very distorted by the wall between him and the rest of the bistro. so he would have to get closer to the outside if he actually wanted to hear anything. while barton was now stressing, ravi honestly couldn't have looked more relaxed, as any friend of barton's was a friend of his. ( except they weren't really friends at all... but i digress. ) he smiled slightly whenever he heard him mention the soup out of approval, ❝ ooh... good choice. i love our mulligatawny soup, but it usually has rice in it, rather than on the side. but i could always request that our chefs put it there instead if you want. ❞
he shrugged nonchalantly and nodded, knowing that the kitchen would be more than willing to do something like that for jervis. ravi could feel his ears perk up and barton's ears did the same exact thing as a breaking news alert popped up on the tv. alright, well, he was not going to be waiting inside the kitchen any longer for something to happen — that was for sure — and so he opened up one of the doors in such a way that it wouldn't attract much attention. barton seemed to materialize out of quite literally nowhere, at least from ravi's point of view, before he was grabbing him by the opposite shoulder a little aggressively but not too much.
barton had played this off as him trying to playfully scare the other but what he was really aiming to do was turn the tv off. and that's exactly what he managed to do with the remote below the counter while ravi was too busy with being shocked, but then laughing in response to barton's 'cheeky' behavior as he spoke to him in between laughs and pushed him away from him, before punching his arm. ❝ oh, my god. you scared me! you jerk, why did you do that? don't tell me that this is you still being bitter that i beat you last time we sparred or something. ❞ ravi was still laughing, so he obviously didn't mean anything that he said in a malicious way as barton himself tried to catch onto the other's wrist before he punched him, but failed.
barton chuckled a few times before nursing the spot where ravi punched him with his arm. he made himself look guilty, only after winking at jervis whenever the other party wasn't looking, as if to say ' you're welcome ' and said, ❝ ahh, you caught me. but scaring you totally satisfied my need for revenge after you beat me. so, at least there's kind of a positive side to all of this. and just to keep you in the loop, jervis, me and ravi sometimes spar together because we're both boxers, ❞ barton gestured to the other man with one hand while ravi came down from his laughter. he made a playful ' shoo ' gesture towards barton, then. ❝ hey. me and your friend, who is also my friend now, by the way, were having a rather rousing conversation about his interest in the mulligatawny soup before you came along. so if you wouldn't mind... ❞
ravi left barton to fill in the lines of what else he was going to say before the blonde raised his hands in feigned surrender and sat down across a few seats away from them behind the counter. ravi laughed, making a ' come hither ' gesture towards himself, ❝ i was just joking, barton. you don't have to sit so far away. but anyway, i'll put in your order for the soup, if there are no objections? ❞ barton moved silently closer to ravi in particular, setting down his curry in front of him. he seemed oddly a bit protective of ravi based on the look he gave jervis.
it was one that said ' you better continue being nice to him or i'll kill you. ' and trust me, barton would do it, too.
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itspileofgoodthings · 2 months ago
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I mean I’m obsessed with crash landing on you because it’s like if a hallmark movie was good and that is fascinating to my brain and healing to my heart.
#I didn’t think such a thing was possible#I’ve been living very much in a world of extremes lately re: Art#like. on the one hand all the great works I teach just taking OVER my brain#and my knowledge of them deepening at a very rapid pace#(sometimes in a too terrifying way so I feel like I’m hurtling down a hill. it’s actually really hard sometimes and I think part of how)#(my anxiety is manifesting itself. like. I just. I don’t feel like I’ve taken a deep breath in a year)#(I’ve just been in. motion.)#and then on the other hand finding new ways to find shows like Bridgerton dead#and Bridgerton helps with that because it is emotionally hollow. because it is fundamentally embarrassing#because Anthony snarling at Kate about how his honor is hanging by a thread isn’t sexy at all#so my mind has kind of just been living in those two extremes and there hasn’t been a lot of room for gentleness or nuance#but cloy is very healing 😭 and it just doesn’t#push the buttons in my brain that immediately need to analyze and#to some extent—destroy! tear apart! with fierce and savage energy.#it just lets my brain and heart exist.#and also there is something so sweet and pure and real about so much of it#I think it’s cause it’s true love 😭 and it’s that simple.#(I’ve also outgrown/moved on from some of the more mediocre things I used to love. Like I just needed something new) but yeah.#it has been very hard in my brain lately even though it’s also been very good#like. teaching is just a lot these days. because it takes sooooooo much effort and work to get the kids going intellectually speaking#and one of the only ways I know how to reach them. or at least the lane I’m really driving in right now#(I know there are more ways)#is simply speaking to them above their heads. with passion and energy and a certain degree of expertise#and it’s WORKING#because it wakes them up and makes them want to engage#but I am also moving so fast and so vulnerably for all of my certainty. that it’s just hard.#I need to relax but I can’t. I feel like the devil is behind me every second#this is dramatic. and as Lewis said in surprised by joy it’s only one layer of what’s happening#but it is what happening#a lot of things are unfolding/growing and also the anxiety is terrible
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