#thought you guys might love to hate it :))
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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The Quest Continues...
(part 1- part 2)
#Fourfold Soul#<- That's the title of the project I've been working on!#I am very excited to finally show off the cowboy (gender redacted) I've been cooking in a slow boil!!! Yeehaw!#Yes this is the game project. YES I am commited to the bit of having the main character go through a long running pronoun-quest.#This character does not have a name so I cannot formally tag them...#(Okay. Technically they have an internal name for coding/scripting reasons...and I have a nickname for them.#But the important part of making a video game character you get to eventually name is that the name must come from *you*!)#The girl here is a npc so she has a temporary name. So I also cannot tag her. Hmm...#I have several FFS comics thumbnailed out. This one got made first because it's the funniest without context. Lore wise it's weak.#I would love to post the sexy clown but you have to wait just a few more comics.#Fun artist woes moment to share: This is the first time I've had to colour these characters traditionally. *That* was NOT fun.#Going from a specific digital colour palette to being at the whims of my limited colour choices in markers? Hell! On! Earth!#I might also be extra frustrated because this sure is 3x the length of what I usually do for comics! I spent a Whole Day on this.#Past me thought it was soooo funny and needed all the extra panels for pacing. I hate past me. That guy needs to be exploded.
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When you find out years later that you accidentally named one of your henchmen
Image ID: A multi-panel comic featuring au sanses. Panel 1: In Killer's original universe. A dark figure stands in the foreground while Killer is sitting back in the snow, covered in blood. Killer says "wh-what are you?" Panel 2: The dark figure is Nightmare but only his smile is visible. He says "I am Nightmare, guardian of all negativity in the multiverse ...and I have a proposition for you, Sans." Panel 3: Nightmare's hand is outstreched, he says "Come with me willingly and I'll take you out of this desolate and barren universe and let you loose on many others." Panel 4: Killer is looking back at Nightmare warily, a thought bubble shows he is thinking "other universes...?". He says "...in exchange for what? What do you want with me?" Panel 5: Nightmare's tentacles are reaching out towards Killer. He says "I feed off the fear and misery and hatred in this world, stirring these up will keep me powerful enough to fight against the guardian of positivity. In short," Panel 6: Nightmare is looming over Killer now, his tentacles surrounding him. He says "I just need you to be a good little killer." The word killer is in red text. Panel 7: Killer is grasping Nightmare's hand, having accepted his offer. Panel 8: Now in a different au, Nightmare stands beside Killer as he taunts Dream, who is out of frame. He says "You're outnumbered now Dream, I have a killer with me this time." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 9: Dream is lying on the ground looking hurt and ruffed up. Killer is standing in the background, looking ready to continue beating Dream up. Nightmare says from out of frame "You should know better than to turn your back on a killer by now." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 10: Nightmare is standing by Killer again, looking smug. He says to Dream, who is not shown "You'll need more than that pathetic bow next time you meet with my killer here." The word killer is in red text again. Killer is looking towards Nightmare, pleased with this. Panel 11: We are now in Nightmare's castle, present day. It is revealed to be Killer telling these events to Dust, who looks bored. Killer says "-and the name stuck, so that's why I'm called Killer now." Dust says very quietly "did I ask" Panel 12: Nightmare is standing in the corner behind them, he looks very surprised and concerned after hearing all this. Text with an arrow pointing to him reads "Didn't realise he had done this." Killer from out of frame says "he doesn't really call me his killer anymore tho" with a frowny face. Dust, also out of frame, says "that's nice now shut up" End ID.
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Truce au#Killer Sans#Nightmare Sans#Remember when I said I wouldn't have that comic done? Sike I finished it earlier#Anyway you ever accidentally name a guy and don't realise until years later when he brings it up#Killer loves it because he feels special for getting his own name that's not just his au#(and also because he wants to be Nightmare's favourite and this is his evidence)#Nightmare hates this. He did NOT mean to name his henchman like a pet he feels awful#Maybe down the road Dream can convince him how much Killer loves it and he'll let it go#Killer absolutely hates being called sans he doesn't want to think about his old life#So the new job and name were kind of just what he needed at the start#Anyway I'm rambling. I just thought it was interesting Killer was one of the few to not be named for his au#And given the name it might be something Nightmare had a hand in#He also helped him find his signature look with the inverted clothes colours but we'll get to that another time this is already too long
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so I edited agents of shield like a disney channel show…
#this is so ridiculous#thought you guys might love to hate it :))#agents of shield#phil coulson#grant ward#maria hill#aos#kc undercover#disney channel#my video edits
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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Me, naively: Omg haha what if I wrote a fic abt the party at the fortress of solitude in superman/batman 26 as an excuse to do some Tim & Kon character study?
Me, after reading 4 separate comic runs from 4 different editorial teams who were OBVIOUSLY not talking to each other AT ALL to try and figure out the timeline & other logistics of this party: WHO THE FUCK FUCKED UP THIS HOUSE LIKE THIS GOOD GOD??????????
#long rant in the tags my fault guys#but#superman/batman LOVED to do this thing where they mentioned some major plot point from last issue#but that issue is connected to some grander larger story that has nothing to do w Tim or Kon directly#but bc it’s something they might talk abt now I have to read that whole arc#n I know what ur thinking omg Dionne why didn’t u check the wiki?#ITS LITERALLY NOT THERE#LEX WAS LITERALLY PRESUMED DEAD AFTER S/B ISSUE 6 AND THE WIKI MAKES NO MENTION OF IT ALL#this isn’t even COUNTING trying to figure out where the fuck they would have time for this in between dealing w deathstroke n saving raven#and skimming over that era of Robin to see what Tim has got going on#willingham era robin is better than Dixon at acknowledging Tim’s team presence but it’s still pretty annoying at points#and popping into the outsiders for a couple issues cuz the titans bother them every like … 8 issues#it would be funny if they weren’t nearly losing their lives n causing major property damage every single time#AND I had to do a quick green arrow drive by cuz I couldn’t tell if it would be accurate or not to have Mia there#and DONT GET ME STARTEDDDDDDDD ON THE FORTRESS#SOMETHING THE WIKI IS ALSO NOT HELPFUL WITH#sometimes i wonder why they thought it was smart to reboot post crisis#and then I open up the dc fandom wiki as greeted with the knowledge that Superfamily have not one or 2 but FOUR DIFFERENT FORTRESSES#they be destroying that shit every Tuesday??????#must also make mention cuz I know how yall get on here#I am not complaining bc I hate canon#in fact I am doing this out of love#research is my favorite part of the fic process after brainstorming#it’s just A LOT sometimes#and I VERY strongly believe that you can only play with canon when you actually know it#kon el#tim drake#timkon#deep diving into some comics? :) deep diving into some bitches? :(#in the most literal sense there is
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DATV Spoilers Just in Case!) I’ve seen a head canon floating around that when solas puts a mage!Rook in the regret prison, it tranquilizes them. What do you think Viago’s reaction to this happening to a Crow!Rook would be?
i think there's a small terrible part of viago that instinctively thinks it was a bad investment/solution to send rook off with varric, since he's lost one of his best assassins. and then of course he hates that this is his first reaction because rook is more than that to him, but he's been conditioned by their lives to worry about his power and the mission first. and then i think he throws himself into trying to prove that he is a better man than that by finding a cure, without being obvious about it, even if his worry actually makes him messier and obvious. a similar outward reaction to what i've seen people headcanon about how he feels when he gets the news that rook is stuck in the fade trap in general (anger, determination, frustration, etc)
the idea of viago as a man who clings to "i rose to this rank for a reason, above the other crows. i'm a killer but with my poisons, i'm cleaner. i'm royalty. i'm better." is so beautiful to me. who he wants by his side/publically allies with is made more interesting to me for that reason. rook and teia make a very short list, so for him to lose either of them (especially to a fate worse than death. like i know there's a cure but i'm not sure if that's common knowledge and it has rammys bro) will inevitably cause a crash out the likes of which thedas may have never seen before <3
#tho also i have no fucking clue. i love viago and his high strung freakish tendencies#but a lot of this is just me thinking of viago and not necessarily this specific ask. sorry anon#there are other people on here with a better grasp on vi#and i plan to keep it this way because the moment i have to think of him as a mentor figure#it pollutes my vision board for him. LOL#i don't think i'll ever play a de riva rook because i'll ruin my own experiment#this is my control variable. it's a wildlife documentary…#just because the baby crow is about to be cannibalised doesn't mean i'm going to stop it from happening#sorry. i know i said all that and im now saying 'but idk' but its true#my understanding of viago i think is mixed at best. i have not read the comics he is in and#8 little talons is very much a high stakes scenario where he hates literally everything thats happening#so that might not be a perfect judge of character. ive never seen this guy relaxed ever#tho saying this. this is probably his default state LOL#viago de riva#txt#anonymous#answered#it just feels a bit weird for me to enjoy 'the crows are morally grey' but then be like 'not my favorite talon viago tho'#i think viago should mistreat rook. for my sake. but then i would feel weird. which is why i shouldnt speak on it#i cannot be an unbiased party LOL. like im not saying he /directly/ abused rook#because i think w his age and timelines it just wouldnt be him. but i also dont think he's fucking speaking up and going#'NO MORE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT! I'LL PROTECT YOU ROOK!'#like be serious. thats a grown man near the top of the hierarchy. just another crow so used to abuse#and double crossing and violence that he takes it as a normal and given for his life/world#which obviously. like. creates issues in his personal life. whether thats with teia or with rook. lmfao.#especially with a guy this paranoid. he just strikes me as the guy to intentionally hurt rook so others dont recognise his weakness#'they need to see me punish you so that they won't kill you' <- totally normal thought to have viago you're so normal
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when you take "I love you sm I could crawl inside your skin" too seriously
sighhh 😞💔
@altocat this is based off of that merging post LMAO
#sorry angeal 😓😓#mondays am I right? 😅😉*laughtrack*#ags#agszc#sephgeal#angeal hewley#sephiroth ff7#final fantasy vii#ffvii#ff7 crisis core#ff7 fanart#ff7#ff7 rebirth#ff7 remake#sephiroth fanart#sephiroth#my art#tw horror#tw body horror#tw disturbing imagery#zombieroth#actually idk if this is even zombie territory anymore#sephiroth baby girl what happened to you 😞😞💔💔 <- me who drew it in the first place with the power of free will#tfw your boyfriend merges with you into an amalgamation of both your mortal bodies 😂😂😂#he's ok I swear#it might be healthy for them actually#also guys what do we think of the style I've been using for my horror art!?? do we like it? hate it? lmk I'd love to hear ur thoughts!!! 🫶💕#also if you guys ever wanna ask for doodles SEND THEM MY WAY!!! ❤️❤️ so far I've only had one ask and it literally made my day 🫶#also sorry for the sudden increase in posts LMAO 😭😭 I guess Ive finally had some motivation now that im bored + not tired lol 💕
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Hot Take:
If you decided to look below the cut, have these!! Some aimless doodles!!
They're just the foretellers from KH as their respective animals in Mobian form. I enjoyed drawing them and I don't plan on officially posting them on the blog cuz they were merely a concept exercise.
#phantoms#sth idw#sonic fandom#honestly listen#you don't GOTTA love IDW#but maybe all the constant hate is just??? not the look???#also Ian Flynn might not be perfect. but he's head archivest for a fucking reason#if Sega thought he was doing a shit job then Frontiers wouldn't have even existed and he wouldn't be their speical guy#All you guys out here acting like he's fucking Ken Penders and not basically the Sonic Equivalent of Tetsuya Nomura#and for fucks sake Evan Stanley is a FANTASTIC artist who doesn't deserve the shit he gets#''Oh ghosts of the future'' Suck a fucking dick thats a fan project and IS NOT in any way related to her professional work#She writes perfectly fine. You guys just hate her because she doesn't spoon feed you shit. And no im not taking that back#they aren't perfect lets be real#i have my gripes too#but y'all#the blind hate is just NOT it
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First off YES the full clips of the early years are even more “proofy” which is actually fucking crazy - no romantic music needed!
But larries continue to cut off their nose to spite their face with the MaRRiED shit - why can no one be cool not all uncool. Not only do they sound detached from reality and how people/relationships work they also trivialize imo very real issues like forced closeting which did seem to happen in early 1D.
Ofc Harry is not out here (lol) simulating gay sex on stage like Troye but is he chained up by Sony or just living his life and not sharing every sexual encounter he has with People? He could easily have 15 boy toys in Italy (along with his deuxmoi approved gf) but because he HAS to be with Louis he is a poor man with evil harpies around him using him for their personal gain (hard eye roll because if you think those gfs were some version of not 100% real HE was using them). Larries would be happier if they accept HL are no longer together (or are occasional fuck buddies with a past) and/or they don’t want to tell you anything about their sex life because it’s none of your business. There is no coding or secret messages that only other queer people can see. Harry wearing that pink Top shirt is just Harry wearing a shirt he likes (he’s such a troll).
Obvs this came in before #recentevents, and I haven't had energy to process jack shit, but I feel you! And I have so many thoughts about it because on one hand, I get the comfort of it--a cozy ao3 hallmark movie of a story "come to life"/"trapped in amber," our friends are all vibing, we're just out here living/laffing/loving/hating on women/supporting--but on the other, yeah, that's not totally realistic, and that's literally fine, they don't know you! It's wilde to me how many people take the 24/7 for 5 years more than 10 years ago as a) categoric proof then but also b) categoric proof NOW, because even though there was a constant barrage of "content" back in the day, it wasn't 100% the truthTM, shit was messy then (see 2015, eleanor b/u #1), and it's messy now! Even today, pinterest loves to show me unedited/uncropped pictures that take my breath away, fandom whomst! Anyway, I'm yelling into various voids that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, enjoy what you wanna enjoy, revel in it being fictional even though these are real people, but also, let me just take this moment to say I'm pouring one out for the real ones, the ones feeling isolated in groupchats, the ones who fear they can't post even the tiniest bit of doubt because they'll lose people they've come to rely on for their own personal comfort online via these two (or eep, followers, come on, liveeeee in the cringe), the ones who follow goldstars because they're the loudest and most terminally online, so there's a constant stream of "content," yet they have to face the ever-present barrage that comes with it, cropped pictures, shitting on women, the lack of any kind of nuance all. I see you!
#i think one of the cruelest things i've seen actually#is people realizing that just by expressing other interests that don't involve sucking on this particular hosepipe 24/7#or by expressing any kind of hey guys these two MIGHT fuck other people then/now/forever#or by simply not hating women#means they get dropped by people they thought were actual friends#fandom is a place to BUILD from#it's not an end stop#so what a tragedy to waste the gift of someone connecting with you on that front and ONLY seeing them in one box#so it's oops dunzo if they dare to express a different (non-threatening even!) opinion or end up getting obsessed with something else#i've heard it and seen it and i feel so bad about it because BOY you're missing out on lovely people just doing their own thing#hashtag harry gif sad
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Some attempts at a design for Selena :3. The second image is inspired by the wedding in Haunted Castle, but I changed Simon’s outfit cause idk I just can’t picture him being comfortable in a suit.
The last two of these are way more headcanon-y lol. They’re under a cut mostly in case my headcanons and story ideas change d(^^ ). One of them was inspired by a Kikuo song I was listening to while drawing lol, the song “Let’s Go to Heaven”.
#castlevania#castlevania games#selena belmont#castlevania selena#castlevania ii#castlevania 2#castlevania simon’s quest#simon’s quest#castlevania ii: simon's quest#haunted castle#simon belmont#akumajou dracula#akumajo dracula#art post#my art#I remember seeing someone make a post somewhere about how it was weird that#a lot of the cut items from the first Castlevania were things like high heels and a love letter and stuff#I wonder if Simon’s wife/girlfriend was supposed to be a character at one point in it and she got cut for some reason#idk it’s interesting to me that she’s only ever appeared in like deliberately noncanon content ya know?#like Haunted Castle was even called not a Castlevania game by its own lead director#the two novels with Simon girlfriends in them were never intended to be canon just fun side stuff#especially the ones that were choose your own adventure books lol I love the art style in one of those#anyway I’ve been trying to think of ways to write her lately but its so easy to end up accidentally falling into annoying tropes alas 💀💀💀#especially ones the series has already used before oof#currently my idea so far is since Simon himself is kinda the chosen one hero guy trope in CV1#and ends up subverting that trope by genuinely failing a ton getting hated by the public and possibly dying at the end#maybe Selena might work as initially the damsel in distress and call to action trope and subverts that later????#I also have always thought she ends up the Mysterious Woman somehow hmmmm#it’s a hard headcanon to incorporate without just pulling a Dracula X chronicles and oh no she’s a vampire aaaaa but that’s been done 💀#I am also aware that not everything you write has to be 100% completely new and original and perfect but aaaaaaa
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the truest tragedy of wicked is that elphaba picks fiyero for the lion cub thing and it makes zero fucking sense except heteronormativity so pervasive it exists in OZ???
#ooc. o kaptain.#[glinda upset she doesn’t pick her and girl you have every right. because WHY doesn’t she pick you?? girl can’t even tell you. idk. I never#k. it makes no sense to me every single time I see it. other than the gravitational pull toward a hot guy. which is funny because I LOOOOOVE#book yero. it’s musical yero i hate on. but largely that’s because… his development to me feels unearned as fuck and a lot of the time his#traits make me go ?????? like the film added him talking to his Horse to finally give the lion cub scene a reason to exist in a semi logical#way. otherwise fiyero just randomly decides vigilantism is The Way for no good reason. but also. WHY doesn’t she just… pick glinda??? they#HAVE enough prior history it wouldn’t be a poor choice. she’s learned she can trust her by then. and that’s why the tragedy of wicked is#that in reality glinda is Not That Girl. I have a lot of feelings about how this is a narrative told BY glinda so SHE can always be read as#SOME central focus. it might not be the protagonist but she becomes the frequent catalyst pleasant in underlying ways. subtextual importance#placed there BY her to convey a store she cannot tell in barefaced words. it’s a deeply queer coded lament to a romance that could’ve been#and instead died before it could be. but we’re only sitting squarely in the unrequited camp glinda sees from. (and it’s not even unrequited#it’s just that she FEELS that way) and so we’re also experiencing her feeling of rejection. which for glinda is a disportionate and insane#concept. she is never rejected. she states outright no one has ever told her no. but it’s crazed to me that over and over she not only#allows elphie to deny her but relishes in how she pushes back against her. Glinda’s relationship with elphie is so much more than romance#and so much more than friendship and that’s why for good means everything. it’s the only time glinda can express the way she’s been changed#to an audience that absolutely cannot accept the comprehension she’s anything but saint Glinda. she’s allowed to say ‘I was flawed and you#made me better’ and have it received in kind. THATS what love is. walking away with the understanding you’ve touched the other positively a#and they will always hold that in their hearts. ‘for good’ is v important because ‘who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?’ the#entire song is about NOT how they’ve been changed FOR THE BETTER by the other but have been changed FOR GOOD as in PERMANENTLY. no matter#what choice either of them make— elphaba particularly since she chooses yero (still not forgiving you) — because they have been changed FOR#GOOD. PERMANENTLY. A HANDPRINT ON ONE ANOTHER’S HEARTS. I’ve been nauseated about this ship for the same amount of years as it takes to#drink legally. I have been sitting on these thoughts for TWENTY ONE FUCKING YEARS. ELPHABA PICKING YERO MAKES. NO. SENSE. EXCEPT IT DOES.#AND THAT’S THE TRAGEDY. BECAUSE GLINDA WOULD’VE PICKED ELPHABA.]
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Wait shit people might actually care about me
#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw#hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that!#mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha#but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit#texted me saying. and i quote “Hi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.” (the full stops symbolize each text#cuz she sent three seperate texts)#and i was just. so flabbergasted at that#i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone#i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that#i thought theyd just be indifferent to it#also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears#and i just. wow.#people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me#ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way#i saw myself#really and truly i love you guys so much#even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock#anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better#life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now#at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity#thank you all for everything :')#man i need a hug rn lmao#tw vent#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#tw self loathing#tw self destructive behavior#<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore#if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd#love youu <33
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#still thinking abt that scene in the underdark where xan is (force) propositioned by that drow lady#and while his first response is shock/apprehension ('*me*??')#radri loses regulation over the volume of her voice going 'what?! no!!' louder than anyone's ever really heard her before#when challenged though she can't come up with a drow-valid reason why hunrae *can't* just take xan#(yes i just now remembered her name lmao)#the thoughts 'bc consent??' 'he'd hate that' '*he's mine he promised*' keep getting translated into an ineffective verbal 'you just cant'#so xan saves himself and falls into a worse mood after it and radri falls into an equally poor mood at how she couldnt do anything/she can#never really do anything can she#oh but there's a kind of equivalent/reversal moment when radri's offered a 'night with one of with phaere's males' as a reward#and xan is just silently panicking/trying to reassure himself with 'she wouldn't' 'she'd hate that' 'she loves me... right?'#radri honestly has an easier time with the excuse this time bc she's not feeling as much panic/pressure as earlier#but the excuse that comes out is along the lines of 'uh monogamy is custom in my city and i already have a male--'#'NO no not one of these guys in my party!! (don't look too closely at them!)'#'i prefer not to travel with him! to make the reunions sweeter...??'#xan's mind catches on 'i prefer not to travel with him' and he gets in a bitter mood bc that might as well be true--#bc really what use is he when he can't even do anything to help/save/protect her despite being right by her side#the underdark has them both on an internal monologue of 'i hate this' but while xan's is mainly towards their surroundings#radri's is almost entirely inward & so isnt eased the moment they reach the surface like xan's is#xan x radri
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My favorite part of being alive is that I've never felt welcome in any space except for that one year when I thought I was a non-binary bisexual asexual girl when I was 13 :)
#Before that I was a weird kid whose only source for human communication instructions was the shows on CN Nickelodeon and Disney XD/Channel#And even though I had friends I never felt loved enough#And AFTER that I realized I was more of a trans guy and that I don't trust women enough to know if I could be in love with one but that#maybe I like men but I can't know for sure because I have the bad habit of falling for any guy who pays attention to me for long enough#And I haven't felt included in queer spaces ever since I realized I wasn't any sort of girl because people in here seem to hate men a little#too much for me to feel safe being anything but a gnc emo girl#And not even getting started on being gay cause people on online spaces that I'm around often act like “girls and the gays!!” as if I'm#effeminate and flamboyant just for my sexuality when truly I'm heavily uncomfortable doing anything deemed as girly#vent post#And even the thought that I MIGHT be a straight trans guy makes me feel horrible cause so many queer people seem to hate straight people#Like hi did you forget that this place is supposed to make people feel safe and respected and proud of being themselves#Oooh and don't forget the autism! Cause I get why people complain about the diagnosis being only for cis white boys but like#I've literally never seen that. Ever. I'm not saying it doesn't happen I'm just saying that it's much harder for me to find any sort of#online diagnosis tool for someone who's not an adult or a parent or a cis woman than it is for me to find any for a girl#Like seriously man#And how I feel like I'm a horrible person for not having g empathy. DUDE I HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO KNOW ABOUT#like chill I'm not automatically a murderer and rapist and toxic and manipulative just cause I can't put myself in someone else's shoes#I'm just a guy who hardly feels alive or human. Of course I'm not going to reel very much about a stranger when i feel like I'm not supposed#to be this person in this place in this body in this mind. I don't feel like I'm here I don't feel like this is me and I don't feel like I#can care about other people and I don't know why but I'd really appreciate it if I could get yk some support instead of feeling like I#deserve death#anyway i'm normal
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SHHH SH HEYYY HEY DONT TELL ANYONE BUT... ive been workin on smth since BITB came out..... itsa lil musical animatic involvin kian and becky.... ITS NO WHERE NEAR DONE YET but loooook look im puttin lil screenshots under the cut. its supposed to go along with Am I In Heaven? by King Gizzard n the Lizard Wizard. infact yknow what cmere come sit with be bc ALOT of songs from the 'IM IN YOUR MIND FUZZ' album makes me think about becky and kian. oh my god. those two make me so damn emotional. like Her and I was the first one to rly resonate with me, and EMPTY was another good one, all just stuff about. yknow LOVE!! doomed by the narrative yet burning SO SO brightly in its last moments, holding hands, playing music, THEY WERE SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT THE COPY OF THEM LOVED YOU, AND YOUR COPY LOVES THEM TOO. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, CRUMBLING, BURNING, HISSING, SQUIRMING, MELTING, CLICKING LOVE STORY..
GET OVER HERE N SCREAM WITH MEEE I LOVE SCREAMING ABOUT THINGS
#THIS IS A DRAFT that i made like. months ago. woopsie.#BUT IM CHIPPING AWAY AT IT AGAIN. IT CANT STAY UNFINISHED FOREVER. ONE DAY YOU WILL ALL SEE! YOULL ALL SSSEEEE!!!!!!!#no reblogs either this stays between US!!!!!!!!!!#and if you guys like it enough i might post an old fuckin wip i have all packaged together on youtube. its a VIDEO it goes w the MUSIC!!#SOUND WITH THE MOVING IMAGE?? IVE ONLY EVER DONE IT ONCE!!!#ill post the Lord of Lightning animatic i made on tumblr when i get the chance. in the meantime i ahve it posted on twitter. GO FETCH#but THIS SECOND ONE is out there.. all synced together..#but its a wip and its rough and old and scuffed and i HATE IT. my son whom i wish was dead#but you can see it. for the small small price of uh. begging.#also ouuhh my god i love becky and kian so much... they make me so emotional.. SOMETHING ABT DOOMED SHIPS...#even as the boat sinks these two clung together so tightly. they really really did love eachother so much. even after ten years of ROTTING#of sitting and waiting and wondering 'where is she?' is she lost? hurt? did something happen? is she okay? did she even want to be here?#does she hate me? did she leave because she hated me? she never wanted to see me again? where is she? where is she? guess ill write a song#FOR TEN YEARS. when i was just busy. i was distracted. so much came up. things got serious. my dream became clear and i had to chase it#i didnt know you were waiting. im sorry. i should have chased the thought of you more. but i was busy. i was just busy.#i wish that i could apologize with the throat that was my own. i hope this copy will suffice. i hope this copy will suffice. UGH
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