#though i might have already lost it
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buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(the origin of halloween huh) (oooh)#why yes i did wake up way too early to watch the stream and will have no memory of drawing this later#anyway THE MAGIC BOOK IS BACK TO EAT US ONCE AGAIN!!!!#this does make things make a lot more sense if it doesn't have to. y'know. actually take place in the established world#like how jack and sally are apparently just gonna be THERE as themselves WHY NOT#i'm certainly not complaining mind you#scully looks like he's gonna be super adorable and i love him already#spooky scary skeleman who just goes :O a lot and is excited for halloween#he seems like he might actually be more of a fusion of jack and sally? or maybe i'm just reading too much into it#still getting jazzy vibes off of him though. is not scully j graves an incredible jazz musician name.#does this open up the possibility that the last time we went into the book there was a sexy anime boy stitch just offscreen the whole time#...maybe some things are best left uncontemplated#god everyone in this event looks fantastic i'm so glad i saved up some keys after all#a little sad that there's no lilia but you know what the fact that a halloweentown malleus exists is still pretty dang good#and sebek's hat is SO tall#the biggest hat for the loudest boy#i hope oogie is here too i need him and jamil to meet#i need jamil to be faced with a guy who's just a bunch of bugs standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat#i am not coherent right now i just needed to get this out before i go pass out again
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Hey guys this is very much not Sims related but does anybody happen to be into late 19th early 20th century German décadence poetry and can help me find a certain poem because I'm about to lose my mind 🙃
#though i might have already lost it#why else would i post about this on my sims blog#i'm literally obsessed with finding this stupid poem#my internet research hasn't lead me anywhere#which either means#a) it's so niche nobody knows about it#b) I'm completely misremembering the lines stuck in my head#c) the poem genuinely doesn't exist it was all just a dream#yeah#sorry for bothering you#non sims#just rambling
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i have the power to make any song about podcast character
#.....#i KNOW it was a taz fansong. i KNOW its literally about taako taako#..... BUT.#'i have lived a hundred lives and i have died a dozen times but the reaper hasnt caught me yet'#'i have learned a trick or two though ive forgotten quite a few'#'might have told a hundred lies twice as many half as true'#'waiting as a i fail to rise'#'faces newly strange id find none of them resembling mine'#'for i had been your long lost twin closer than a second skin and now i am alone again'#not going to say what character because its embarrasing and you already know who it is#'its a reach' I KNOWW SHUT UP. BUT I HAVE TO THINK ABT CHARACTRR ON THE BUS OKAY.
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tag vent
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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the urge to post about the character currently giving me brainrot (canonically fat, hot, bi-coded) vs. the fear of recognition (they are niche enough that people in separate circles would recognize me here if I talk too openly about said character since there are few quite as obsessed about them as I am)
#liking niche characters and having niche kinks is hell#too scared to talk too openly and the h/orny content i want to see isn't already out there? man...#i could absolutely write about them but again. fear of recognition. there might be some workarounds worth looking into though#(like anon posting on a/o3. that i might do.)#something something be the change you want to see in the world#anyway i also have to say that while watching bloopers from the show said character is from there is an outtake where they burp and uh.#i stumbled across that completely by chance and i did not expect it at all. thank goodness i was alone bc i lost my fucking mind.#it sounded so satisfying too... like damn they were already hot for many reasons and that made them like 5000% hotter#londarling
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Set 4 of chapter 3, volume 4 of the Tokyo Babylon manga. 9th chapter overall.
Cleaning/typesetting done by me, official Dark Horse translation used.
Select/open the images to view in higher quality.
Previous, Next
#this has been in my drafts since november 2021 so i figured I would post it because I've already completed it so. yeah.#tokyo babylon#.....since i lost all my files i don't have my presets anymore.#now that i upload to tumblr it looks like i used the wrong font modifier. sorry for inconsistencies. i'll fix it next set#which might be the last one. because welp. you'll see in my end note maybe.#basically in photoshop the text looks thinner and matches the uploads but on tumblr it's way too thick. idk why it did that. i don't like it#also this is only 9 images because it's a good cut of point#and there are only 7 more pages anyway. i think#****#all the tags before this one save the nov 2021 one were written in november 2021. if you're curious how i was feeling#but yeah. want to post what is already done.#i saw someone else started doing new scans so i think my purpose here is kind of over#still love the manga. i still have it on the small shelf next to my computer to pick up and use again#but life has gone on and my free time is almost non-existent nowadays so if i ever do pick it back up. it will be a while from now#though when i saw the person who'd continued it was only until the end of the volume i think? i can't remember where i saw it#it's been months though. i wonder how far they got and if they're still going#i should look for it
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So you choose not to step through the door, after all why mess with nonsense when you're already in nonsense? You check the items in your pockets, your phone you shut off to conserve power, the dog tag, key and top clink together but offer no help, and when you fiddle with the walkie-talkie you manage to get it to turn on, excitedly you call out to the void but only static responds, which is disappointing but predictable, so you put the items away and hunker down for the night, looking at the sky you can see that the stars seem strange, though you're no expert, and the moon seems to have a second smaller moon near it which looks pretty cool but is a stark reminder of how not on your own world your predicament has landed you.
In the morning you begin looking through the nearby bushes and plant life taking note of anything strange, you notice the berries you had been picking before you stepped through the door are also growing around here, they look and taste the same, and some other plants seem pretty similar to the forest from before as well, although the further away from the door you go the more unfamiliar plants you come across (of course that may just be your lack of familiarity with plants) and the few animals you have noticed are bizarre in a way that you can't explain, like the people from town, they seem almost perfectly familiar, just a little off and the noises they make have you thinking they wouldn't be able to communicate with their counterparts either, brushing aside another branch you come across a strange funnel made of metal which you pocket and what looks to be a regular whistle, you wipe it down and blow but hear nothing aside from the air going through, you consider it is either broken or maybe a dog whistle, as you go to put it away you hear something big running in your direction, before you can decide how to react a large creature storms out of the bushes and stops in the clearing before you, it's huge as a horse with paws and sharp teeth it licks as it looks around and spots you, it shakes its head again reminding you of a horse, then steps closer before turning and staring expectantly, you get the feeling it's waiting on you, impatiently, and you realize it seems to expect you to get on its back. Do you get on?
Yes.
#I am a terrible terrible Irish child#Clearly all those folk tales whose only moral was “don’t climb on the strange horse” were lost on me. Technically not a horse though. So. H#Uh please don’t run into the bog with my on your back strange horse thing.#…This may be one of my worse ideas#On one hand moving away from what appears to be the only connection my world doesn’t sound like a great idea#Back through the door is logically the the best bet. However I’ve already explored the area#The only thing to do would be to just sit there for hours and that will get me nowhere. The things that do have leads like the walkie-#Sputtering are things to pay attention to but not things that are likely to change if I don’t move. The whistle is the newest thing-#And let’s be real I’ve been in the bramble for like 14 hours without the neurospicy meds I am teetering on dangerously antsy#Probably better to get on the horse before I come up with something more stupid#It’s interesting my world flora seems to surround the door. I wish I’d payed more attention before I stepped through#If the nearby flora on the other side seemed like it would come from this world it would suggest that the door just leaks between universes#In two ways. If it’s earths flora then it’s either only leaking one way which we could no from one step through#Or - which we will not know but should pay attention for if we step into some other world - if the earths flora shows up around EVERY porta#Which would suggest earth is the base in some way#It might be beneficial to climb a tree to try and see farther out#Though I don’t exactly get many opurtunited to haul myself up a tree so I would put to much stock in a)my upper body strength#And b) my ability to chose a tree that won’t kill me#It’s defintley worth taking in as much info as possible. I’ll try and notice things like different winds gravity tempature ect#What should i tag this all. Help I got lost in a blackberry bush? Anon who takes me to alternate planes of reality?#I know#Guys I got lost in a bush#That’s a good one. Nothing weird there at all.#FINE I’ll rage it “guys I got lost in a blackberry bush”#I wonder what makes things so familiar. Perhaps this world exists very closely to the other. Perhaps they’ve crossed paths before.#Perhaps they’ve shown up in our dreams. Perhaps I have bad memory and my brain gaslights itself into thinking everything’s familiar#I wonder maybe the horse is a horse/dog thing- that would explain the likeness to the dog whistle (?)#This can’t get any worse I say doing something that could very much make it worse#Eh what’s the worst that can happen. At least I don’t have to pay taxes in this world#Guys I got lost in a black berry bush
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patron saint of being hot
and a lot of skill and really interesting anecdotes about your life and having professors that give me second hand anxiety bc they seem kinda awful and mean. But mainly just being hot
ty! admittedly my professors are not that bad, ive only had one bad professor that was more incompetent that awful. if you want another anecdote, ill tell you about the only teacher i truly despise to this day (on the tags, cuz its a very dark story)
ask gamerino
#i retook that course with a different professor and passed expectacularly. now for the horrendous teacher#on this story we have vomiting injuries and attempted suicide so watch out#in my last two years of our highschool equivalent i had PE with a teacher that loved to play favorites#if u were on a sport team you were immediately given special treatment and as you might already tell i wasnt. i hate ball sports#i loved exercising but i dreaded PE because of her#i have a condition that made my periods incredibly painful and meself anemic so those weeks were hellish#even though i was a good student she would NEVER let me sit out the navette test. even with a doctors note#i would do my best and then literally go vomit and pass out in the bathroom cuz if i did it on the court i would be berated#that wasnt enough to earn my absolute hatred tho. we now move to the worst day of my life to this day#it was just getting to school from lunch (we could go home and have it there) and i had PE#when i get a text#it was my best friend being cryptic thanking me for being a friend and saying goodbyes#he was going to commit suicide#i absolutely lost my shit as one does and went on a rampage#i couldnt get in contact with anyone (his ex stepdad was abusive and isolated his family) and they didnt let me get out of school#i was desperate and my friends were trying to help me but i didnt know what to do. i called my mom and she called his school and then i just#sat and waited with a friend. while the other classmates did the navette test#the minutes passed. i got message from my bffs number and it was his mom telling me she found him just in time#i broke then. i started sobbing and screaming and scratching my arms and my friend held me and tried to keep me from hurting myself#some other classmates came concerned and tried to help#then the teacher came. she just looked at one of the volleyball girlies who shrugged#she didnt ask if i was ok or if i needed to call someone or go somewhere. she just asked if i planning to do the test#i said no and she left and i kept crying#when i felt stable enough i went to see what had happened and she just failed me. i couldnt give the test any other day and that was that#she simply didnt care#i had to calm myself down while writing this. its no use getting emotional over a teacher that didnt care#but i hate her. she made the worst day of my life worse and she doesnt know and doesnt care#that memory fuels me to never surrender to indifference and make the pain in this world worse#my bff got help he needed after that and our bond is stronger than ever. he never pulled something like that again#thats the story! not gonna tag this babes
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feeling so stuck and lost rn :/
#might be moving in with some friends but i’ll be an hour away from where i grew up#which is not even that far so idk why i’m feeling so weird about it#i guess the adjustment to living somewhere permanently and getting acclimated to a new (ish) area#even though i went to college there it still feels weird?? idk#it’s such a hard change and i’m trying my hardest not to get in my own way again but idk :/#like moving out is something i’ve always wanted to do since i was 11 and now that it’s right in front of me i’m having second thoughts#like what the fuck!!!!!!#also on top of that i have the added stress of finding a full time before august so that i can make rent :(#and THEN the added stress of trying to apply to l*w s*hool and already feeling so behind on applying :(#i’m feeling so lost right now i actually want to cry#and whenever i try to talk about it with anyone they just…..don’t get it#which is why i hate talking to anyone about anything but whatever
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I either need to accept that I am just a way stronger person than this friend and can handle way more while still being able to engage with the world as a person, or recognize excuses as excuses, accept that I am not valued and be done or. Maybe both. Idk. It might be somewhere between the two. I am just sick of regular life stuff rendering him unable to spend any time with me, and of him being unable to bear any of the details of my life, when I would move mountains to rekindle our friendship. Though I'm starting to wonder if I still would.
#faer personal files#i just. really didn't want officiating his wedding to be our last hurrah of friendship even though i did kind of feel it coming#also i'm really sick of being infantilized for my chronic fatigue i am a grown adult and i know what i'm capable of#ugh. maybe i'm just being awful and not understanding in which case i'm too much of a rancid person to be his friend i guess#but i don't think that's the case#idk i'll never forget when i couldn't see this dude for a year even masked up outside for covid but when another of our old friends came up#from her job doing COVID RELATED CROWD CONTROL FOR THE FUCKING ARMY he went on a hike with her mask off#and i think that says a lot about what our friendship's been for years honestly. if he can't bear my company idk why i try#if i'm just an interesting prop for conversations and occasions but not a friend. i can't accept that#i am an interesting prop for conversations. the disabled genderfluid bisexual genius who lost everything bc of said disability#but i didn't lose everything i just have to fucking rebuild on new ground. and i am doing that. i whine on occasion but i am so strong#and i do know how to interact with people without traumadumping i haven't on him in YEARS but his concept of me crystalized at age 21#or something like that i guess. idk it just breaks my heart#bc for a long time he was my person. he was the only person who knew the authentic me. more even than my sisters at times.#and yeah that was a little unhealthy but at the time he craved that!!!#and then i grew up and stopped needing him like that around the same time he stopped wanting that and it should have been fucking fine#but like. even senior year of college when i was sick it was already starting to fall apart#like i remember being on a small hike once being exhausted and jokingly being like you gotta carry me back and then being like#no really i might actually need an arm to lean on by the end of this walk if i'm gonna make it back to the car i really don't know if i can#and he said no bc he didn't want to look straight. who the fuck CARES??? i could barely walk i was stumbling my way back annoying him going#too slow. fuck. and that really has been what our friendship has been for years. the minute my house wasn't the most convenient place it wa#more or less dead idk why i keep dragging this horse around#idk why i keep letting him break my heart like this it's so stupid he's never gonna care about me like he did when i was quick and brillian#but never quite as smart as him in his view. fuck him. i'm smarter. just bc i was a little gullible or paranoid at times bc of the#FUCKING CPTSD doesn't mean i was dumber than him. the fuck??? there's something wrong with me i swear idk why i hang on#anyway i'm irritated. but i'm also reluctant to throw away somebody who's seen me through key points in my life. so.
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will you make a "You reposted in the wrong timeline" video for Lost Signals
i cannot believe i had not even considered this. but i am considering it very much now
#digi discusses#might take a minute for me to know the game well enough to make it#though i have quite a few earworms from lost signals already so! promising!#you sass that frass is gonna hit just right
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hm. am I downloading Night Court right now? possibly.
#don't know if I care yet#tbh I have never seen John Larroquette in anything ever (and it will take me a while until I can spell his name without checking 3 times)#before the librarians#so. I don't know. if it's a character specific thing. or if I just think he's cute. or if I think he's cute now but not when he was younger#but I will find out#because honestly it's possible that it's 90% his voice. very good voice. best voice. love it.#hmmm okay no I've just watched a clip on YouTube and he really is just very cute. damn.#annnd. oh noo. I have to check something#oh crap Brent spiner was born in 1949. that means this is. if my brain decides that this is gonna be something. the first time it's someone#older than my dad :') don't like that#but! my dad's dead! so who gives a fuck!#I'm fine. :)#(also damn I'm lucky my dad was so very very old. otherwise that would have happened much sooner)#(guess I'm joking about that now! interesting development)#anyway yeah he cute. though cuter now tbh. might be the belly. idk. this is very confusing and unusual for me#especially. since. the other crush. is not even close to being over. that's not something that happens. and it's already very bad rn. soo.#that should be interesting. maybe I should just forget all about it and not look at him again when I'm done with the show in a few hours#that'd be best I think (doesn't mean I'll listen to my own advice. he is a man and he is cute so. I've already lost)#it's just. I see Jenkins and it's like. JENKINS!! 😍😍😍😍 I'm very weak#and he's so funny 😔#sigh.#just be normal 🤦🤦🤦#i don't know if it makes it better or worse that I'm fully aware that this is most likely happening because I'm in the middle of some sort#of crisis right now and that's how I've always coped but. eh it is what it is#trying to be nicer to this stupid brain and all that#let it have fun looking at an old man it's fine
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I dont get how people switch fandoms n stuff so so fast- I haven't left the creepypasta or like- fnaf fandoms since like 2015-2016- and I doubt I'll be leaving this one either- how do people not latch onto things 2 the point it consumes apart of them n fundamentally changes them as a person 2 some degree 😔😔 ~pumpkin anon
Yeah it's always interesting to me too when people are in like a different fandom every other month, idk how they do it haha For me, when I get bored of a series it's usually because I ran out of new stuff to go over. Like I was REALLY into Berserk for a while but then I caught up on the manga (around the infamous boat arc......), then the 2016 anime came out and it sucked and I just got bored and moved on... It didn't have much of a creative community (outside of Japan) either so there weren't fan works to tide me over between official updates, unlike with GG.
Maybe some people go through that cycle really fast?
#asks#Dude there are SO MANY Guilty Gear doujinshi out there#When I was looking for Sol-O' doujins the other day I found this site that specialized in selling them to western markets (otakurepublic)#And there were like 5 or 6 pages of GG doujinshi. Most of them were sfw too haha#There were a few other Sol ones I really wanted but they're kind of expensive... Shipping was super nice though; $10usd w/tracking#I have so much conflict in my heart when it comes to doujinshi#Part of me really wants to archive them because it's super easy for these works to become lost media forever#But another part of me wants to respect the artists' wishes too by not publicly scanlating them....#I think a compromise might be just scanlating the ones over/near 20 years old like the Sol/Ky one I already have#Ahh tangent in the tags lol
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what will i do once my cat dies?
#we already lost one cat. they aren't dead. they just.. left one day.#i kinda miss him#he was my mom's bestest friend#its weird though. when we couldn't find him i wasn't panicked or depressed...#i felt numb. like i couldn't feel anything for him or how he got lost#even now i kinda. care less than i want to#but we have another cat. the one that has been with us all this time#what will happen to me once she dies?#once i see her body lying down with no movement?#will she leave before that happens? because i kind of hope so#seeing her die might just break my heart in two#i'd rather suddenly never see her again than say goodbye to her knowing she's gone#...maybe it'll happen soon#we haven't brought her to the vet...#my mom said she was gonna take her to the vet one day#or more like. the vet would come here (to our house) and check her#she's not ill or anything#well. i hope she isn't#sorry i watched a vid of someone telling a story of how their cat died#and got a bit anxious#i'm just scared that i won't care once my cat dies#cw animal death#cw death mention
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The beds are no loss anyway. There’s no hiding the nightmares from each other.
There was no avoiding it after the first time. Cleo woke wild and hungry and, yes, frightened, once. In that state, they had gone to Scott. There was, and is, no one else who would rip the heart right out of their chest for Cleo. No. There was, and is, no one else Cleo would ask for such a thing.
Less than a minute, the two of them were able to bear it. Scott wrapped his arms around Cleo, pulled them close and squeezed on the sweeter side of too much. Cleo held him in return, the two of them slumped together like paper dolls.
Then Scott twitched and said shakily, “I’m sorry—” and Cleo winced away and said at the same time, “I can’t—” and when they pulled apart their separate griefs sat between them like freshly tilled soil.
These days, they sit back to back to avoid confusion, and as Scott picks through their scrolls again, that’s how Cleo gets to sleep.
#sparrowsong#clawing biting slamming my fists on the walls#when i say i have been thinking about this *all day*.#i dunno! i already said it! there is a person you would tear the world apart to have back!#the person beside you in the dark here is not that person!#but it matters that they're there!#sighing dreamily imagining a not-so-distant future where they are very powerful and very sad#all of time and death at your command but you will never get back what you lost.#i can't write this!! i can't do this because it's a prompt for the exchange and someone else might write it!!#and it would be a dick move to basically be like “okay recreate this whole fic in my head”#hwaughhhh#if no one picks up this prompt though i am absolutely going to write it.
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... having a great time.
#lux was originally going to be an alcoholic#it fits their lore...#thats. how they met cyrille. at raven's.#... it might mess up their voice#which is. why they dont#if they lose their voice. there goes their job. theres nothing left keeping them from killing themself#and then theyre just. stuck. until their body recomposes.#and they have to start all over again...#...i mean#theyve already died once#114 years ago#their only chance at rest is to have their body never fully recompose. trap themself in limbo#...its possible. difficult but possible.#dying is. an inconvenience.#you may carry your memories. your appearance. but your identity? dead. essentially#theyre still so young...#left with an eternity of lost identities. lost people. lost lives.#... congrats honoré! your hyenaperson is effectively immortal! they are also not a hyena. or a person. but theyre yours!#it takes a little bit to realive though so sorry#mortal x immortal reincarnation au...#... anyways yeah#lfotd (lux fact of the day)
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