#those damned parents
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We are ft. quotes (1)
[cr: Chloe Liese]
other We are posts <3
#we are#we are the series#phum x peem#phumpeem#i love them sm#love watching them heal and grow together#mostly phum#scar(r)ed baby#cuz he's scarred and also scared#those damned parents#we ride at dawn#bl drama#thai bl#bl textposts#bl quotes
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realized earlier today that upon being given a set of keys to lock up at work (there are so many fucking doors the fuck) my lanyard was getting to they beat jesus with that kinda energy
#the downsize decision was to simply separate out the keys to my old apartment#which i still have for going-to-visit reasons#there is also ANOTHER keychain jangling around someplace and those are the house and mailbox keys to my parents'#i got too many of these fucken thangs#also oops its 4am i should probably use the damn sleep
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I always think well if I dated a man, I wouldn't feel as insane. I wouldn't feel so awful or jealous. And then I remember why I came to the conclusion that I'm a lesbian. I just wouldn't care if it were a man. I just can't bring myself to care about men like that 😔😩😭
#personal#I've definitely been like oh hes paying attention to another girl thats a shame :((( about it like damn you were supposed to pine for me#forever and ever#but its never like I'm going to kill someone over it. I don't feel sick about it. I don't feel bone crushing sorrow#😭😔#but I feel like maybe I experience comphet a tad? because I look at cute couples like jenna and julien#or jessi and ty and wish to have that. like i want what they have so bad but also that will never be me because im gay#i wish there was more lesbian and gay rep in media#god does not LIKE ME . he said here is. bad parents who hate you. here is bpd and other undiagnosed issues#and other undiagnosed issues that were probably half the reason you felt so isolated in your high school experience. thanks to bad parents#here is 🩷 COMPHET!!!!!!!!!!@@ you're actually GAY and those boys you were crazy for? yeah . they were cute and all but thats IT#NO emotional connection!!!! none at ALL!!!!! 😍😍😍 you also don't feel sexually attracted to them either ♡#but what DO i feel for men?? just comphet? I feel something I think but its not love. its not a craving . its like#I want to be worshipped by a man and then tell him no 🩷 i want nothing to do with you but you should like me actually#??????????????????#does that make me a bad person? do I care if it does? I mean
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NEW CANON KAEYA TIDBITS FROM THE KAEYA HANGOUT PT. 1
The heavy lore post will be posted later! These ones are just more on his personality, likes and dislikes, and brief history hehehe
SPOILERS BELOW!!
I'm doing things in bullet point form coz wow there's a lot
Was the gentle and polite child! Also frequently got sick. Addie frequently took care of him in those times hehe. Is it possible that this is because of his experiences prior to getting to Mond? Travelling as a child would have made him vulnerable to tougher weather and rapidly at that. I doubt that food comes easy too. Additionally, HE WAS LEFT IN A STORM. I still think Kaeya is gentle and polite, though he definitely gives the face of charming and sly (if it benefits him and it works then might as well keep it going!)
Kindness is so inherent in him that he automatically does kind acts. He only acts like he has an ulterior motive, and tbh? I bet that act is only to keep people away. I think I made a oneshot about this saying his biological father may be worried about this tendency? Or something similar. Worryingly enough, Kaeya clearly has a hard time accepting words of affirmation from literally everyone. Heartbreaking to see in action.
Diluc is a menace, asking Kaeya to help him in his mischief, tsk. Kaeya apparently also helps Diluc in the punishments he receives. Kaeya ended up doing the most of it :( (what are the odds of Kaeya also doing Diluc's paperwork while said redhead was out on the field? What if the reason Kaeya wasn't with Diluc and Crepus during that one fateful 18th birthday because he was covering for Diluc's shift...). Tbh? Kaeya never stopped covering for Diluc. Even now, he is still covering for Diluc (DKH).
This one set off alarms in my mind. Kaeya was apparently not a very good liar when he was younger. I now definitely think that Crepus knew Kaeya lied about his origins. The question is, did Diluc know Kaeya was not a strong liar before their fight? Or did he remember afterwards and was immediately faced with even more guilt?
He might actually have a sweet tooth! Dear god look at the number of desserts he ordered. Do note that Death Afternoon is a mixture that lessens the bitterness of Dandelion Wine. Additionally, Kaeya wasn't interested in wine when he was younger, he only grew into it because it reminds him of home after he left :( The Cider Lake drink is also sweet! And I'm guessing plain chicken mushroom skewers weren't sweet enough, so he decided to add fruits to it. I THINK CREPUS ACCIDENTALLY GOT HIM INTO LIKING ALCOHOL AFTER CREATING THE CIDER LAKE DRINK LMAO. Crepus suceeding in preventing alcohol intake from one child and ended up giving it to the other
Fairly sure he was being flirted on here by an entire group of mercenaries and just didn't realize which would make things extremely funny. They saw him and immediately went "we need to see that body in the dance floor ASAP". What if he doesn't realize he is being flirted on until he is slapped in the face with a confession? It's also funny if he flirts up a storm and not realize people are flirting back lmao
So I was right... he was not kicked out. He moved out on his own. Diluc is fine with him frequenting Dawn Winery, expects it even (lol my short 1 shot makes sense now). The staff keep asking him to come back and visit more frequently. Adelinde says that Kaeya is always part of the family. They become so happy when Kaeya comes back, it's like a weight is lifted off of everyone's chests. IT'S KAEYA WHO KEEPS SAYING HE'S A GUEST AND SEPARATING HIMSELF OUGH. He's the one trying to stay away after all :((( Let's summarize this: Kaeya was the sickly, quick to bruise, kind, gentle, and polite child who everyone in the staff (and Diluc) adores and still treats like he is their baby, but said baby of the family KEEPS LEAVING. Go home Kaeya!
Klee keeps looking for Kaeya! And Kaeya reads her bedtime stories!!! Hearing her voice ask where Kaeya was broke my heart, I think I'd like that used for angst purposes. Kaeya is once again letting a mischievous pyro user get away with causing mischief. Kaeya you enabler lmaaaoooo. Kaeya frequently rescues Klee from solitary confinement, done so enough times that Klee now does the same for him (I bet she thinks Kaeya is in solitary confinement whenever he's busy doing paperwork). Not to Kaebedo/Albekae you guys (I am Kaebedo/Albekae-ing you guys), but I'm fairly sure Kaeya and Albedo spend so much time together with Klee. Again, frequent enough that Albedo has tons of drawings of Kaeya (the 3 brushstrokes is a popular meme, but it actually is just a way to say that he has drawn Kaeya a lot. Bet he could draw Kaeya with his eyes closed haha). HE GOT THEM MATCHING GIFTS THATS ADORABLE
Speaking of gifts, he's a great gift giver! He really listens to people's needs and wants. What a thoughtful man (Diluc was right in his letters in hidden strife though. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF KAEYA). Speaking of, I'm guessing Kaeya is rich? Because I'm fairly sure the gifts were bought with his own pocket money and thus the huge amount of travel funds remaining (the gifts are expensive, surely it should have put a dent to the said funds had he used them)
THAT IS ALL FOR NOW, I MIGHT MAKE A PART 2 BECAUSE I WANT TO TACKLE MORE STUFF BUT THE PHOTO LIMIT GOT TO ME
#kaeya#kaeya alberich#kaeya hangout#kaeya hangout spoilers#genshin spoilers#other topics i want to discuss are diluc and his blatant big bro weakness of doing what the baby says#dude puts kaeya's gifts on display like a parent who would stick his child's drawings on a freezer#another one is that KOF captains are ALL actually rich and might not have realized that the money flowing around is a lot lol#one more is kaeya's strict distinction between informant and friend. His information network must be insane and frankly? Self-made and grow#we also see kaeya as a quick thinker multiple times and one with great strategies and solutions at that... what a skill#ALL THOSE AND MORE FOR PT 2. DAMN YOU PHOTO LIMIT
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I feel like I need to know more about Todo and Yuki’s relationship as mentor and mentee. Like they seem the same flavor of person which is very different from what gojo and megumi have going on.
But also Yuki is very adoptive “dad” coded in the way geto’s relationship to the twins is very adoptive “mom” coded.
In that Geto seems to take on primarily a caretaker role than a mentor while Yuki is more a trainer and life coach than she is a caretaker. Which is something you don’t really see given to female characters in anime.
Like Todo lives by her words and fights by her example. Everything he knows about jujutsu she taught him and Todo’s a very skilled and violent fighter and that reflects back perfectly on Yuki’s own fighting style. It’s so very anime mentor it’s insane she is just introduced to us as Todo (this absolute menace’s) teacher before anything else. I’ve never actually seen a female anime character be introduced this way.
in contrast to Geto who serves as the caring parent who was tragically taken from the girls violently and too soon and the girls wish to honor him and live how he would have wanted them too despite the ungodly situation they find themselves in. Which is such a stereotypical anime mom trope it’s almost funny. He even fits in with the still very much in love with and still speaks highly of the father that abandoned the family in hopes that the kid will one day understand and forgive them. He is essentially the mom from Full Metal Alchemist.
Gege that fucking deranged cat actually flipped the script on us and it’s so interesting which is why it’s so frustrating how little we actually end up getting off yuki when all her little scenes point to such an interestnn in character.
She is introduced as one half of a crazy dynamic that we never actually get to see put to screen and that’s such a shame. Because Yuki is such a welcome addition to the tropes of female characters we need more female “dads”
#am I making sense#somebody tell me if this makes sense#I’m half asleep writing this#not that there’s anything wrong with those moms but come on#have some pity on those mothers why are y’all always killing em off while the dead best dad gets to#thrive and be powerful?#she’s also still very feminine which is a nice m#her role in the story is just different#I just need more female kickass mentors that are also parental figures I don’t think this is too much to ask#gege when i fucking catch you#that fucking cat giving us amazing female characters and then never using them 😭#he just be spamming maki for real but atleast we get that#throwing thoughts to the void#gege akutami#jjk#justice for yuki and todo’s relationship#jujutsu kaisen#yuki tsukumo#tsukumo yuki#aoi todo#todo aoi#todo jjk#yuki jjk#geto suguru#satsugu#suguru geto#Geto jjk#I don’t even care how but the damn cat needs to bring her back#or give us another flash back or something#just expand on the complete insanity that would have been these two running the streets together
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celebrating birthdays at grandma and grandpa’s!
#ts4#ts4 gameplay#sims 4 gameplay#postcard legacy challenge#postcard: gen3#sim: adrien herrera#sim: rua kamealoha#sim: karlee kamealoha#sim: amaya kamealoha#sim: rosa han#sim: juliette han-avagyan#i swear danny is there but his ass always on his damn computer!!!#my winter babies :3#rosa got up early to make their cake 😞#she has one of those catalogs at the bakery with a bunch of cake options and she had the girls decide which cake they wanted#she was fully prepared to make two cakes but they both liked the castle cake#tho rosa did make a dozen cupcakes too#she was so excited to bake for her grandchildren’s birthday 😞🫶🏽🫶🏽#adrien and rua are the type of parents to burst into your room at 12am on the dot to sing happy birthday#doesn’t matter if you’re sleeping or not#except they’re bunking in the same room so adrien and rua shook the girls from their sleeping bags#they climbed into bed together after while adrien and rua held them all night#they want them to be babies forever 🥺
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Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown
#i dont want to sound like a maniac but. i manifested this JDKFLGLVLV#okay but understand. ive been vettonso posting for like 3 or so weeks now#have been drawing them like its my god damn career#have been squealing and screeching over them with everyone#and like oh hey! they're both gonna be at suzuka! and seb is having a bee event! maybe nando will go!#BUT THEN NO I DONT HAVE TO JUST LIVE WITH SCRAPS. I GOT A WHOLE FUCKING MEAL#I AM GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND ROLL AROUND THE FLOOR#*i say as if i haven't done all of those things in quick succession after seeing these#yknow very fortuitous time for my parents to have gone on a vacation. so they didnt have to be witness to the emotional breakdown i just had#i was making noises that have not been uttered by human beings before :)#BUT LIKE INWAS LITERALLT JUDT DRAWING VETTONSO FANART#AND I FINISHED IT AND SCHEDULED IT#and was all silly in the tags like 'haha wonder if we'll get any interaction'#and then i go to scroll tumblr one last time before slepeing and I RECEIVE THIS FUCKING 12 COURSE MEAL#i cannot actually describe the emotion i felt when i first saw the pic#like genuine fucking shock through my body like just was like 'is this actually happening'#i said to C today 'i will be happy if we even get a pic of them within eachother's vicinity'#and well wow. theyre certainly within each others vicinities rn#if we actually get any more pics i think i will keel over i think i will actually turn into dust and powder on the floor#UGHHHHHHH JUST THE TIMING!!!!!! THEY DID IT FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#sometimes manifesting does work. after you draw like 20 hours worth of art of them#im trying to be concise but i really cant#because its literally just animal screeching and whining noises in my head rn#HOW DO I SLEEP AFTER THIS???????????????#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#2023 japanese gp#we do a little bit of f1
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It’s the same energy as the “I’m just the dirty old drummer” bit
#where’s swan for this one#the way Luke GRABBED the phone gave me a heart attack#also fucking Calum and those damn glasses#I feel like I’m looking at my parents#luke hemmings#lrh#ashton irwin#calum hood#cth#lashton#otp: i’m fond of you#afi#5sos
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congratulations to Mme. Pascale Leclerc, who has surely just experienced both the funniest and most unhinged weekend a mother could ever have. Dear fucking christ, I hope your middlest son brought you a bottle of champagne for yourself, ma'am.
#kazoo noises#charles leclerc#cl16#monaco gp 2024#zoomies posting#sports posting#like man. where to begin. one of your racecar children is back in town for the weekend. he has yet to have a truly good work#weekend it seems in town. now this year. we're feeling ourselves a bit. we're feeling optimistic even. and then ur son becomes talk of town#because he keeps doing fucking bits on twitter about adopting his coworker who is friends with your youngest son. this goes on long enough#for actual reporters to comment on it. no one is willing to blink first so by friday night we've yes-anded ourselves to a grandson#(congratulations mme leclerc)#things go well. and then at qualifying they go DAMN WELL#BETTER THAN EVER REALLY! but man. im superstitious. i dont trust shit until its over and the dust has cleared#(the adoption jokes have continued by the way) and MEANWHILE everyone is eyeing that starting grid. were humming. we're making vague hand#gestures when commenting. we're all thinking. Maybe? (the streets can hear u tho. keep it down)#race starts. lap one CHAOS. so many fucking crashes. i'd faint if i had a child even in karting honestly.#(every parent in this sport deserves a prescription for laudanum)#but he's not in it. hes at the front. and he. well. he just Stays There. Through It All. and the laps tick down. until the race is run. and#there he is. your middlest son. cross the line and into the books. first place. home town. what curse indeed. thats your boy!!!!!!!! THERE!#they play the radio of him winning and the audio is peaked because he screams out so loudly. you can hear the water in the laughter.#later theres gonna be videos and photos taken of him pushing his boss into the harbor and diving right in after the man. those photos are#gonna be fucking studied in photography classes one day. and STILL! everyone involved with that goofy joke about him adopting his coworker#(who. despite all the silliness of the race stayed second place and got a podium) is still carrying the bit like a baton relay. Do you have#him over for family dinner? might as well add a plate i guess! people are joking about your youngest son having two nephews? a dog born#maybe a month ago and a man born about... what twenty three years and about a month ago? fuck it! family dinner#sorry this bit got away from me but as someone who loves my homecity and my mom so much it might actually be like.#a visible growth inside my body if they do an autopsy on me at time of death or like. my love will eat me alive. sometimes the charratives#gets to me#anyway cheers mme leclerc i hope you party so fucking hard this week
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being the only normal tim drake fan out there is so hard cus this person is so right
people who like tim dont like him at all, they just like the idea of him and thats why thers this narrative around tim fans that we are the absolute worse which is true but also its not cus i dont want it to b you feel me? like i LOVE tim but the way some of you need to pick up a comic and close ao3... all this misinformation haunts me
i will make comic guides i will provide with free sources to read them i will do everything to free my boy off this horrible misscharacterized prison because tim drake is an awesome character, hes well written and has a good canon story damn it!! free him!!!!
#let go of the bad parents jack and janet trope#let go of the fake abuse#let go of his twinkification and for the love of god let go of those damned 26 issues of red robin#and focus on the abuse he actually suffers while being a hero#focus on how heartbreaking it was for him to loss his father after hed gotten him back and their relationship was growing#focus on his sense of mortality focus on his humour and his jokes focus on how good of a robin he was#focus on a tim drake that suffered so much and was so young focus on how emotional he is but how little he lets it show#focus on the parallels between him and bruce and how they are so much alike focus on how heartbreaking it is that#they are more alike than damian and Bruce are in some ways and focus on how Damian must feel when he sees that#focus on his actual personality focus on his intelligence and his selfesness focus on his quietness and how much of a show-off he is#please if you are going to focus on tim drake just focus on HIM because!!!! come on hes perfect as he is#tim drake
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it also once again makes me painfully aware of the woes of being a dragon age dwarf enjoyer (<- being starved for proper lore) 😔
#cant believe they will just say yeah they have all these very strict rules and structures that dictates pretty much all life in orzammar#(and even outside of orzammar!)#and then didnt even think through how that would affect society and life and everything let alone give us more info on it#lay rambles#literally even the 'children take on the caste of their same sex parent' which comparatively comes up very early and very frequently#and is a pretty damn significant part of how orzammar is structured!#is very obviously not thought through#because that would have a huge impact on the balance of sexes in different houses and on caste and family relations#among other things#or how orzammar is desperate for children and yet if a child is born casteless the casteless status is still more important#the combination of how important social standing is but also they cant let casteless die out because they are integral to how orzammar func#*functions#in general the role of the casteless is so juicy and interesting honestly#or say. how does a society that puts so much value in reproduction treat those who cannot reproduce#and how does all of that affect gender#is there a separate role/gender/whatever for people who cant have children?#would they be ostracised because of it or maybe even held in high regard bc they are the ones who can do The Dangerous Jobs#like joining the forces who protect the thaig against darkspawn or mine lyrium without having to risk loss of fertility?#(but would then ofc be *expected* to take on those jobs)#would it make women be held in higher regard and men more expendable?#imagine if houses had matriarchs who have a lot of social influence and power regardless of their actual rank within the house#because they successfully produced and raised a lot of children#but yeah idk i'm just rambling now lol#dragon age dwarves are cool i wish bioware wouldn't forget them all the time. is what i'm saying
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I finally saw the Naruto Road to Ninja movie last night, and I gotta say, it was really good! I went in knowing it had quite a bunch of Narusaku ship tease and wacky alternate versions of the Konoha cast I knew and loved, and then got hit by surprise by all the family drama and feels.
Really I'm surprised and disappointed there's not much discussion or content related to that movie (especially among Narusaku fans, since this movie is an obvious goldmine!), but maybe I'm just coming to this topic years late and missed it.
#naruto#narusaku#the way this movie contrasted naruto and sakura's family situations just to then flip and/or parallel them was SO GOOD#and the way they got virtually identical scenes of just... walking through konoha witnessing parents & childs while they were ALONE?#with sakura's scene used to explicitly make her realize that damn. naruto has had to live with that his entire life?#idk if i can properly express my thoughts but. it just feels like this movie did a great job...#of interweaving narusaku's friendship and their different experiences with the family drama and how that changed in alt konoha#like. those could have been two entirely separate plotlines. but they weren't. they connected and entangled together#and it was beautiful
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NGL feel like the Batfam would have a much better go at it if they weren't majority white.
#like listen POC families have had intergenerational drama on lock for centuries#were just built to be bats#like yeah grandma hated me as a child and my aunts are all evil spies and my uncles are con artists and yet were all here enjoying christmas#like come on#the waynes are too white to have this kind of drama#like for all those people slinging jason todd is latinx headcannons if jason WAS latino#you damn well know u dont move out of ur parents house until ur married#sometimes not even then#so if he got under the red hooded immediately after all that shit he'd rock straight back up to the house#like hey im home wtf is for dinner#cuz its not bruces house baby its OUR HOUSE#Anyway#this is mostly a meme#dont take this seriously or ill ray gun u#DC#Batman#Batfam
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sister imperator having an extremely emotionally taxing pregnancy due to the stress/depression from the breakup but also the clergy being on her ass because of her sudden disappearance. psaltarian is really only around to make sure that there are no complications and that their plans for the babies will shake out as expected so he’s going to each appointment with her and checking in on her occasionally to make sure those needs are met. psaltarian that could really care less about nihil’s stupid ass kids that she’s carrying and just wants to make sure that she’s fine and can get through this because he’s never seen imperator look so lost before. sister offhandedly joking about how she misses her guitar and that she regrets breaking it to beat nihil’s dumbass. psaltarian that goes back to the ridiculously expensive and now destroyed house in the hills to have the remaining pieces of her custom cherry red les paul special sent off to be fixed. psaltarian that doesn’t have the words to sympathize with sister and knows that she wouldn’t want to hear his pity anyways so instead, presents her with that cherry red guitar (that probably was broken beyond repair and was actually just replaced. but he’ll never tell her because he thinks it would mean less to her). sister who’s bump is ridiculously large thanks to the stupid set of twins that nihil gifted her with that immediately sits up and tries to play something for psaltarian, the first time she’s moved or talked this much about anything other than clergy business since the breakup. psaltarian who gets to sit back and watch her light up and think that Maybe this won’t all turn into the massive shit show he’s expecting from it.
#FINE i will shut up and go to bed. but trust i will be back tomorrow morning#psaltarian dgaf about those damn kids he is not the dad that stepped up really#but he dislikes them just as much as imperator and nihil do so he’s like an honorary parent in that sense#psaltarian and imperator having their weird little faux family for a bit#where they can pretend things are fine and they haven’t hidden an entire pregnancy from their shared boss/friend#and that even if this all goes sideways as it’s bound to.#at least they got to have a small piece of the domestic life that neither thought they would ever have#ghost#sister imperator#mr psaltarian#ramblings
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Something something something angst about the mantle of hero identities getting passed around to new people, the duty of other heroes to accept this because it’s important that civilians keep feeling safe, villains being the only ones to truly get to mourn the original heroes and choosing to step out of their villain identities because they liked fighting the person not the hero, etc etc etc
#listen I love sidekicks and titles being passed down and stuff like that#but there’s always an inherent angst to me in like. the loss of identity?#because yeah at some point they just get acknowledged as superhero titles#but at the beginning of all that was a person making a costume and band intrinsic to *them*#*name not band#I doubt anyone starts off being a hero with the thought that they’d pass down their hero stuff to someone else#then eventually there’s a third generation wearing their costume and stuff#because it’s important that their work continues and the whole symbolically the hero continues on in sone form and villainy doesn’t win#but do they even know about all the personal stuff that went into it from the first person who started that mantle#one thing I always think about is like (and I know this is sidekicks but stay with me here) the robin thing from b*tman#now I can’t remember if this was someone’s hc or if it was in one of the runs or whatever#but it goes that: robin comes from a nickname dick’s parents gave him#because they were the fl*ing gr*twins with their little birdie robin#*gr*ysons not twins god damn it#and again I can’t remember if that’s an actual thing#but imagine if it was#and there’s all those robins after him wearing his suit or some variation of it#calling themselves the hero name he gave himself to honor his parents as he tries to find their killer#no other way to think about for me it’s just. loss of identity#anyways#no fandom#heroes#supervillains#superheroes and supervillains in general
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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