#im trying to be concise but i really cant

[best-fictional-marine-reptile]

Someone just asked a very good question; whether or not I would be the only one doing the initial candidate filtering. I haven't finalized anything about that process, bu the short answer is yes, mostly... probably. My thoughts so far:

First of all, my top priority is to keep in as many candidates as possible; I only intend to make cuts to prevent oversaturation of a single franchise, or of a specific archetype of dinosaur. So, for series that have less than the cap (whatever that number may be), I will almost certainly not make any cuts, except in certain special cases should there be any.

Now, when it comes to filtering within an oversaturated series, the logical thing to do may be to let you guys determine who stays and who gets cut. I'm definitely still considering this, especially in the event that I can't filter out anyone for a logical reason and have to resort to my own preference.

However, I want to minimize this for a couple reasons; firstly I don't want any kind of voting fatigue (for you or me!) to build up early, since it would take multiple rounds of polling just to do the filtering if I were to use only that. Secondly and more importantly, it would make the process MUCH longer than it needs to be since I would have to leave each poll up for like a week to ensure proper visibility, and depending on how many candidates we end up getting (still kind of hoping it will blow up, but we'll see), this could turn into a huge hassle.

So yeah, nothing is set in stone yet, but most likely it will primarily be me using my own judgement by the powers given to me by spending college money to take dinosaur classes despite it having nothing at all to do with my major at the time. I am notoriously bad at making up my mind though (or at least I would be if I had a friend group), so I will definitely consider resorting to popular polls in cases where I get stuck.

[viniferas]

seeing temma write such an extensive amount of text to fully cover the bases to avoid any miscommunication is so validating to see

[cl4im-u-0n-m7-t4x3z]

1 2 5 + 8 for Spencer and/or Kevin NKotR

holy shit TWO characters to talk about youre so niceys to me .. ok first of all

1. What are your favorite headcanons for them?

Ok this might be inaccurate in like 2 days bc im bad at favouritse . Umm . for spencerr. One of my favourite hcs for her. and this is like kind of nothingburger but i like to think that she sort of engages with the world as if she genuinely believes she is fictional. DOES she believe that?? Maybe. It depends on what is funniest to me in the moment ☝️☝️ but as a rule i like to think that she kind of acts like she is on hit sitcom the office (ive never seen a single episode of the office i just know the camera is diagetic) . One of my favourite headcanons for kevin is that he's some sort of protestant christian. Probably calvinist. I don't know the idea is just funny to me This is a protestant man!!!!!

2. What’s a headcanon / characterization you’ve seen for them that you dislike?

I dont knowwwwwwwww.... NKotR fandom so small i havent seen like any characterizations that i DISLIKE. one thing that vaguely annoys me with characterizing Spencer specifically is like. this is just bc i have worms but she kinda gets that whole "character mentions food once and it becomes their whole gimmick" thing . sometimes it's funny but also the onion rings have genuine symbolism to me and nobody really gets it. wait.... nobody ..... say that again ☝️☝️☝️(<-Reference to book nine of the Odyssey in which Odysseus introduces himself as "Nobody" to the cyclops so that when they take out his eye he will say "nobody has harmed me")

5. What social media apps would they use most regularly?

ok . Obviously MySpace for spencer (ironically though, who do you think she is?) . Facebook for both of them but for different reasons. Spencer literally talks about using facebook like straight out so that's that. Kevin, technologically speaking, kind of has Old Person Vibes. i mean he literally didn't Know what a Video Game was until Computer Fighters. they had a whole gag about it. and facebook of course is the Old People social media. I think in the year of our cosmic angels 2025 Spencer would've loved xiaohongshu. like come on it's like the slightly less popular Tiktok. Come On!!!

8. What political views would they have?

[wearing shirt that says I <3 SPECULATING ON THE POLITICAL STANCES OF CHARACTERS I LIKE] So . Like. Hipsters as a Group are generally more left-leaning than the average bear and that's because a big part of hipsterism is (The appearance of) being counterculture. Spencer herself mentions the ideas of global warming and the Iraq war, both in seemingly negative contexts. I Think that she's. kind of liberal in an edgy way if that makes sense. Like she desires the shock value that comes with being radically against the current system but none of that really coalesces into a fully fledged political opinion. She's all for like gay marriage and legal weed. She Knows the terms proletariat and bourgeoisie. But it is kind of unclear whether this is another Ironic Bit or if she would actually put her money where her mouth is if given the chance (she wouldn't). Now. Kevin is a lot easier to parse a political opinion from because of The Money Tree. this political opinion of course is DIOS MIO!!!!! A LIBERALLLL!!!! but NOT in the same way spencer is at all. Kevin is actively in favour of america as an institution, he is a footballing, leather jacket wearing, Atomic Age American Man!!!!! But ☝️ He goes to pro-choice rallies and recycles his cans and jars. The conservatism is ok if it's not THAAAAT conservative!!! Some people want gay people dead. HE wants gay people to bootstrap or something??? I don't even remember the point i was trying to make. he's the whitest person who ever did the funky chicken. this is the longest fucking paragraph in this post because i cant make a point concisely to save my life but i hope you get the gist

[givemedamage]

i dont really ramble slash just post my thoughts that much anymore bc im like an on edge bitch plus ive gotten ten times more incoherent off my meds and i dont wanna subject anyone to that except for in tags on art posting maybe sometimes ill be like BARRRRFFF WORDS but i wanna do it now bc. i just want to On that note like i definitely have posted dipshit dumbass stuff like oversharing stuff or stuff i no longer agree with or wish i worded better or didnt speak so soon on like i have a journal if i really need to tell the universe i just took a shit but ANYWAYTHATS NOT EVEN THE POINT OF THIS RAMBLE WAIT THIS WAS ART RELATED RAMBLING ok so like i've been trying to quote unquote relearn art for a hot minute cold second now and sometimes, ill think of that one ask i got that was like 'how do you draw furries' or How do you draw anthros or IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THAT and i cant remember what exactly i replied ,GIVEN THAT IS A VERY VAGUE QUESTION BUT LIKE i definitely replied something strange and unhelpful like 'ufhhh just practice :D !!!!! find fun ways to furrify the furry idk' AND LIKE IF THAT WAS YOU IM SO SORRY i feel like there's so much stuff i didn't AND STILL DON'T OBVIOUSLY know even though ive been doing furry art since babyhood like how important fundamental whatever is WHICH I KNOW SOUNDS DUMB LIKE OBVIOUSLY FUNDAMENTALS ARE IMPORTANT but like. learning perspective and actual shading not just guessing and using people pose and animals pose references and doing figure studies and outside places studies has HELPED ME SO MUCH LIKE WOW WHAT THE FUCK there's just little things i never learned in art class. little things i'll notice like 'huh foot (paw?) placement is actually rlly awesome and also important drawing a character standing' or like 'so that's what a trapezius is' or like 'ohhh i get it now, things are scaled bigger when they're closer and i should be thinking about the pov also' which like the last time i was in an art class i was literally a FRESHMAN IN HS so like. like yeah But how to draw furries individual , i apologize but if i was asked that again id probably be like ''References and youtube tutorial and especially that animal skull github angle reference website saved my hide'' WHICH ISNT REALLY THAT BETTER OF A RESPONSE NOW THAT IM LOOKING AT IT BUT LIKE I COULDVE more concisely said (ironic sonsidering how fucking long this spiel is becoming)that i don't know what the fuck im doing but i love resources and i love pencils and skecthing and i love wawa color and painting and digitaling arting and i love my fake world and artists i love you and artists who struggle making art they want i love you and artists who want to do art but are nervous to start or are preoccupied with other shit i love you . i know stuffs really hard out here for everyone and excuse me for being so unspecific about it but it seems like everyday it's just another thing it's honestly getting hard to keep up with much less sum up my frustrations towards in a single already tragically rambly post and i hate it so much and stay safe and i'm sorry do not die quietly plus never kill yourself. Tl,dr; i run on sentence about how art is good and fun, (somewhat gushily and long windedly )

[zuureleena]

i drew the mercs, miss pauling, admin, and my tf2 oc on the plane to uni 😭

i did all of these a week ago and completely forgot to post them HAJAHAH miss p, the admin, and a rlly simplified ver of my tf2 oc miss lynn!! (zoey lynn hehe + js rambles abt her) under the cut

IM ACTUALLY REWORKING HER DESIGN RNNNN bcs i made her on the sims 4 LMAO and realised how much better and concise she looked, but i really wanna try and make her look like someone you'd js see irl? sooOOo tryna make her also recognisable from silhouette alone and blahablahblah tho she isn't the kind of character that would rlly make too much of a difference in the tf2 universe

i js wanted to make a loveable character LMAO who'd have more of an impact on the relationships and kinda the story?

i liked the idea of miss p having an extroverted bestfriend who's also her wingwoman bcs miss pauling is obvs an awkward lesbian mess who needs help in the love department, and vice versa bcs zoey is into scout and miss pauling is js so glad to have him move on n realise that they r better as friends!! and that he needs to be with someone who isn't annoyed by him 24/7 (IM SORRY, LWNAKS MY SELF-INSERTEDNESS GOT IN THE WAY HAHAHAHA I CANT HELP IT) also, i haven't rlly thought of any orientation for zoey... i'm thinking of her js being a het woman or js whatever u wanna interpret her as!! cuz her sexuality isn't a core thing abt her

she's an absolute harbinger of chaos who'd do anyt for money and some company (this girl has been hella lonely n stressed out of her mind and i'll explain why in an oc post🤭🤭) and even tho she never outright admits it, she does enjoy the freedom of violence she gets to have as a mann co assistant 😭 (which will ALSO make sense when i explain her background to u guys later on)

and bcs of her long experience w shady bosses and asshole customers she's had to deal within all the jobs she's had, she catches onto the administrator's whole thing with the australium fairly early into the job, but she's in tooooo deep now and is like "damn. do i get myself out of this fucked up job (that i am fucked up enough to actually enjoy) or do i stay bcs i literally have everything i've ever wanted....shit." like,, she did say she'd do anyt for money but at the cost of what 😭 [also MAN i wish we got that final comic so i can js make zoey's suspicions make sense??!?@ but in a way it js works bcs it's js this massive mystery that we don't even know of ourselves???? so likeee, im js assuming its smth rlly dangerous or smth bcs helen literally goes to the most insane lengths to get australium and finish off her final... thingy.. that uh DEBT is it... i forgot what she called it BUT WHATEVER BUSINESS SHE HAD TO ATTEND TO B4 SHE DIED QOABJASH]

OH AND YEAH, zoey hates how bossy the admin is and is an ass abt it at times, and the admin wants zoey gone so badly bcs shes an annoying little shit (which she is and honestly, her and scout can be annoying shits tgt <3) but miss p always convinces her to keep zoey BAGAHAHA and they do get things done much faster w zoey there sooOoOOo 🌝🤭

i mean she does try to kill both miss p & l anyway but still, she can't deny that they r both good at what they do

BWOSBQJS BYE I DONT THINK ANYONE IS GONNA READ THIS AHAGAH BUT THANK YOU IF U DID 😭 I HAVE SM ABT ZOEY AND I RLLY WANT HER TO BE LOVEABLE AUGHWGS

[ciaran]

hi! i've read a lot of your work from p5 and hsr to genshin and your writing has always stuck with me. i really loved the aventurine abortion fic which was succinct and concise yet detached and felt wonderfully in character and the fic where haru and akechi talk is still probably the best exploration of their relationship i've seen so far.... your thomato fics really struck me too. how do you write beautifully? + how long did it take for you to develop your writing style... i've admired it for a long time. thank you!

thank you so much! thank you so very much. im grateful that youve let my writing touch you. i dont really Know the Definitive Way to write beautifully - i just think that what one does is look at things and feel inspired, to try that. for example i really love metaphors and similes and use them constantly. in my life in my mind i am not a very imagistic person, and in fact i would say that i am the farthest thing from it. its not easy for me to think of images because it is contradictory to the basic pattern of my brain which does not see things. but i love it so much i keep trying to do it, i keep trying to come up with things, missing a lot, hitting it sometimes. i am not happy with the way i write yet. but ive been writing for, oh, 7 years or so (actively). and i didnt consciously develop it, i just keep trying to do what i want to do. all i have is an idea of what i want people to feel when they read things, the kind of experience i want it to be, and the deep desire to make it happen. and a willingness, when writing, to fail. to not hit the mark. often, i am mechanical, and run out of ways to say things. often i dont even see where i am failing. but you cant hate your writing because hate as much as love clouds your reason and judgement and if your writing fills you with disgust then you will never manage to improve it at all because you wont be able to look at it keenly and honestly and generously the way you need to in order to keep writing

[termagax]

would love 2 know (🫰7 , 💌 8 , ❤️‍🔥1 ) ^_^ for fishhook

🫰7 - If you were to build a mini playlist to associate with your f/o, what 3 songs would you include? What songs would your f/o think to use for you?

oh my god. only three? let me think. songs i associate with him..  every song ever.... hm. i guess if i was gonna name songs that i think describe fishes attitude towards him, i'd pick...

feelings of love - the obvious (A LOVE PURE AND DEVOUT / WHAT BULLSHIT)

hertz - amyl and the sniffers (TAKE ME TO THE BEACH, TAKE ME TO THE COUNTRY, CLIMB IN THE BACKSEAT IF YOU LOVE ME)

animal - sir chloe (I'LL ASK POLITELY, GIVE ME WHAT I WANT, MAKE ME BEHAVE LIKE AN ANIMAL)

and three that are for how he sees fish...

the only thing i know - the mountain goats (HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU? WELL, YOU KNOW YOU'RE DYING. AND I KNOW YOU'RE DYING TOO.)

a pearl - mitski (YOU'RE GROWING TIRED OF ME, AND ALL THE THINGS I DON'T TALK ABOUT // I'M SORRY I CAN'T TAKE YOUR TOUCH, IT'S JUST THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH A WAR AND NOBODY TOLD ME IT ENDED)

my heart goes bum bum bum - flatsound (YOU'RE THE THOUGHTS THAT I FEAR, YOU'RE THE MOUNTAINS I'VE CONQUERED, IF I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU WOULD YOU REACH OUT AND TOUCH ME? YOU TASTE LIKE THE OCEAN AND YOUR BODY'S DISGUSTING)

this is so hard but im trying to be concise and cohesive. fishs are all upbeat songs about desperately needing love from someone who probably fucking hates you and hogs are all slow angsty songs about trying to love someone who makes you disgusted with yourself. i could do a sappier version of these that are actually about them Being In Love and stuff but oh my god i make so many posts about their playlist you guys MUST be sick of it by now.

💌8 - What about those more unpleasant "firsts"? First argument? First time seeing the other cry? First time breaking up if y'all are messy?

first argument i actually literally have a whole comic scripted out somewhere about, the gist of it is that ants parents find out that they uhh dropped out of uni to do a technical terrorism with their boyfriend and freak out and insist they come home and get their shit together and theyre like come on man can you believe this shit and mako is like well. maybe theyre kind of right. and it gets SUPER messy and extremely personal because annie has never been able to let anything go and they have a good eye for other peoples insecurities and they know exactly how to needle him. and mako has some poorly-controlled anger issues and a lot of shame about everything hes ever done or said and in general is just a weak person emotionally and a strong person physically. so really all it takes is a couple of jabs about how he sees them as old enough to fuck but too young to date and suddenly walls are being punched and people are storming out and driving off. luckily theyre both still in the part of their lives where they can say sorry to another person so they do figure that out.

i dont think mako cries super easily like ever so genuinely i think the first time they actually see him cry would be during sex in the wasteland era. starts as a pain response but its just been so fucking long that he cant stop and suddenly its an Everything Response. on the other hand i think annie is an angry crier so hes probably seen them cry a good number of times and it wigs him out every time. he doesnt know what to Do.

first breakup is um. the Big One. accidentially nuke 1/2 your country and then he drives off into the night and all youve got to remember him by is a dogshit note and severe radiation poisoning. beautiful.

❤️‍🔥1 - What kind of dynamics do you engage in when it comes to intimacy? How important is it to your relationship? Is it intense, or kept lighthearted and fun?

there really arent strict rules for them, theyve probably done it every way possible, but the standard kind of evolves over time. when theyre young annie tends to kind of be the director, theyre more experienced and know exactly what they want from him, though they tend to encourage him to be the Boss and go harder with it, and then when theyre wasteland on-offing it they tend to fight each other for control which usually ends with fish on the bottom getting their ass handed to them, and then when things mellow out and they fall into a smoother rhythm it gets less intense emotionally speaking but a lot freakier. and i think as hog gets older especially and he fucks people who Arent Fish he kind of learns that he prefers to be kind of a subby bottom and i think w rat he is the spoiled little princess of that dynamic (which i imagine to be a bit stricter on the d/s stuff) which sort of bleeds over to how he is with fish, and theyre more than happy to be in charge though again theyre a lot looser with it and they both definetly prefer to not make it easy for each other. i think as they get older and more stable in the relationship it gets a lot more openly affectionate and sweet, theyre less mean to each other and more teasing, especially from fish who takes great pleasure in embarrassing hog just by complimenting him too much. oh also i dont know if youve gathered but it is Extremely Important. there are periods where if they didnt love fucking each other so much they probably wouldve straight murdered each other. fishgirl dick is just that good i guess.

[toyherb]

infinity nikki chapter 7 spoilers and theory:

I already expected the plot to be dark and serious with a girlypop outer layer since I've been a casual nikki fan for a while, but... it doesn't stop me from being shocked when new plot information is revealed. if you aren't playing IN, a major plot point is that several humans disappeared 15 years ago, and you literally discover them imprisoned underground where they are being experimented on by the in-universe equivalent to angels (who are also police).

anyway, another thing is that the mayor-figure for these angel characters (faewish sprites) has been acting out of character for a while. he also survived a serious illness which swept through their society hundreds of years ago. I'm walking around completing the main quest when I find a piece of lore on the ground; a patient report from the time of that illness which reveals that past a certain stage, the food which was causing the illness becomes an addiction.

so, obviously the patient in the report is the mayor (the desciption of the patient matched) and he is once again eating desperation orbs because someone is trying to control him by feeding his addiction, of which he had been sober for years.

I cant describe everything about this plot thread concisely (and im falling asleep), but everything else in the game led me to suspect that when the wish master (that's what he's called) recovered, he never actually was cured at all, but he ate so many bad wishes (they eat wishes) (they're called desperation orbs) (good wishes are called delicious wishing orbs) -- that his body changed? He's the only remaining survivor and he really looked like a goner but he got better out of nowhere. SO I think bc he just kept eating the desperation orbs (they describe him sneaking them in the patient report) his body changed and he stopped being sick, but he remained addicted. He's been addicted this whole time, but he got more Weird(tm) bc they couldn't get enough desperation orbs for him (and also the only people who know about this are the cops aka the paladins). Since the orbs come from humans wishes, the paladins (since they serve the wish master) kidnapped a bunch of humans (specifically stylists who are able to use whim [magic] to create technology among other things) 15 years ago and experimented on them to find a way to make more desperation orbs. one of the people they kidnapped was the main villain who was a child at the time, and after 15 years he struck a deal with the paladins who were keeping him and the others captive. he's created a way for them to get desperation orbs by using the wishes of unsuspecting humans, but the process makes the victims erratic and fall into comas. doesn't matter to them, whatever. all of this is kept secret from the rest of the world. other faewish sprites don't know about this; they're all basically just regular people who happen to be extremely adorable and chibi-shaped.

that in mind, I also suspect the villains motivation is also revenge. I feel like yeah he could be just obsessed with despair after what he went through but he can also be trying to destroy the faewish sprites from where he can. and damn. I'm just sad about him overall.

also not really related but I realized nikki is most likely in here early 20s (taller than all the teenage characters; has older sister vibes but still youthful) and it made me happy for some reason that she's an adult.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

so ive been writing a summary of interview with the vampire bc i wanna talk about it with my therapist but she told me that she could not read the whole thing, so Ive been rereading it and one thing that really stuck out to me was just how objectively awful Louis and Lestats relationship is in this book, especially when you compare it to the one in this series I read most recently, queen of the damned, which I thought ended on a very cute and nice note for them, but then I thought about it for a moment longer and I was like "yeah sure, Lestat was being very silly and playful and having a lot of fun bothering that Davidguy but I actually dont remember Louis being anything other than stressed out" so now Im like oh my god. are you telling me when Lestat was laughing at him for being upset at ghe thought of being a murderer, and also did all the other shit that I cant even begin to recount if I want this post to be somewhat concise, that was him trying to be playful?

[sunset-of-the-void]

okay ive been trying to organize my thoughts forever and its not exactly working so. i'm just gonna launch things in as short and concise as i can make it so i dont ramble incoherantly forever (/lh)

so,, i'll start with my perception of norton, because by god i think i should think about him more,,,

i'm not gonna touch on his mom because i have no clue what the fuck happened to her honestly, but i think norton's dad has always been kind of. accidentally distant? like in a way you could tell he cared for his son, but there was probably always an air of stress/tiredness about him (similar to norton as he aged) that got worse from the black lung and aging, and also the way that they were never guarenteed to have necessities all the time was something that occupied his mind a lot. (i imagine personally that while the two were never close, norton could understand the reasons why hence choosing to stay by his side once he fell bedridden)

also, while norton probably didn't work in the mines for his entire life, he'd probably do small jobs on the side to help out with funds, especially considering his lack of an (official? authentic?? i cant recall the word im looking for) education in canon, so you know. he's been aware of the concept of money and status for a while i'd assume, even moreso when he starts working in the mines as a teenager (which i'd assume is when his father's illness starts worsening as well) and people there are just. ruthless i'd imagine. considering in his trailer he looks (debatably?) younger than the other men it's probably from both a mix of him being a newer worker and possibly being worse off than them as well plus the stress on him having to be the only provider for two people, one of which is ill as well, as a teenager proobably doesnt help much with the situation either...... i've not much to add other than this, though touching on his personality in the manor, despite being reserved and a liittle grumpy he is very sweet once you get past the walls he put up! he's the type of person to help someone who needs it (albeit he may make a show of being reluctant about it) but he does know what its like to struggle and how much a helping hand could mean to someone. he's still very empathetic in my mind :]

very very briefly onto andrew because if i dont limit myself this will be soo much longer. but i'll try not to get too excited and i'll cut out most of his life (pretty much all of it up to about laz cemetary)

so basically andrew also had similar situations being born in poverty, while norton managed to gain financial security as he became a prospector (i think?) andrew didnt really. get that at all. even when working with laz (if he did, there wouldnt be a reason to be tempted by grave robbing, right???) and i personally assume people would price gouge him for the sake of him being "impure" or whatever, so even with the pay from mikhail/percy it never really lasted quite long enough,,,,

andrew only left after getting caught by marshall, and fled immediately after the (accidental) murder. (to summarize it shortly andrew panicked and stabbed him a few times with the shovel and then accidentally buried him while he was still alive in a nearby patch of dirt) and he showed up to the manor with. practically nothing. he had a change of clothes, his shovel, and some trinkets that were dear to him, and to me he kind of traveled on foot the nearly whole time to the manor (using the funds he had left from the final deal of the "slabs" to take a train as far as he could with the money)

so now like.. the actual current important thing (sorry dhsjdjfj......)

once andrew shows up to the manor he's in ah. generally pretty bad shape. and people kind of have one of two reactions of either "wow this guys one of the stranger ones" or "this guy needs. a lot of help" (depending on how you look at it) and norton kind of realizes almost immediately from andrew's general anxious demeanour and gaunt figure that he has nothing going for him, so why would he make that worse?? plus in the manor norton kind of gravitates away from nobility/aristocracy i believe and andrew is very. noticably not either of those, andrew is just grateful that norton's not reacting negatively to his very presence and he puts a lot of trust in norton. (like, norton gets a fuck ton of life stories that luca and emil dont hear about) im working on a fic of their first technical interaction and im not sure if i'll ever finish it since ive been stewing it since like.. april but they're cute to me

Hello! Very excited to read through this

To be honest i dont think norton's mom is mentioned like ever. At least in nothing i personally have read. I do agree that hia family would have been distant. They were in living in poverty and it puts a strain on anyone much less a family. To me it aids in norton's cutthroat nature of just having a life of anything but the suffering of poverty.

I would love to read the fic once you finish it! I really like andrew and norton getting each other as they have both been ostracized from society for being poor and then for Andrew being albino! I was going to have a lot more to say but i dont think it would have added much to this. I will be marinating on thoughts for this thank you so much for the ramble friend!

[royal-they]

hi so i kinda happened to fall in love with your art.....and i wanted to ask a few things!!! (if its ok!)

uhmm first of all how long did it take you to get that art style and perfection it etc etc?

also do you have any tips for anatomy? not big complex full body anatomy, just like...idrk honestly, some tips related to anatomy or hands or just the body that helped/help you?

and uh yeah if you just have any general tips on whatever to improve my art/art style i'll take litterally anything 😭

again, i love your art, i love what you make! keep doing what you do, you're awesome!!!! sending love and support <3

ah!! tysm <333!! thats so cool to hear!!!!!!!!!/gen

ive been drawing forever honestly. i've always been really into it. im fifteen so thatd be like 12 years. and obviously i wasnt always studying it super seriously or anything. idk. my art isnt perfect by any means. i just dont really post the shitty pieces lmao. i struggle with sm stuff and will be continuing to study probably till the day i cant hold a pencil anymore lol. (i draw too much, my hand hurts ;w;) its a never ending process and honestly thats why i love it sm.

as for anatomy i think the main thing to keep in mind is that anatomy and just drawing people in general is really hard. i heard this in this old video about how pixar used to do 3d animation is that the reason they didnt do animations of humans for so long is because we ourselves have very specefic ideas of what a human looks like. i think this also applies to art. which is a really long way of saying, trust the process.

i use photos personally! you can find a lot on pinterest but there are a couple things id keep in mind when it comes to photos people edit their bodies sometimes so their proportions so be careful, it will defeat the purpose of the study if the bodies inaccurate.

idk here are some that might be good for starting off. dancers and people like that are super helpful. remember to not to focus too much on the lines but more copying down the shapes,

for hands i would just look at your own hands and try to capture them quickly. i say quickly mainly bc i shake a lot lmao, maybe youre different. or you could just be smart and take a picture of your hand but im very lazy and dont like getting up to grab my phone.

for art style id just save stuff that inspire you. could be animations, comics, album covers, cool photos, just stuff that gives you like vibes. literally ANYTHING.

like, omg this is making me think of a cool idea rn!! save it! even if you cant execute it now you can always execute it in the future when your skills are more developed :)

style studies are also helpful! try copying art you like, seeing different peoples techniques however some things to keep in mind with this are

you might accidently copy down an artists mistakes or bad habits without realizing it so try to have some variety in your artists

dont post the art. some people are okay with tracing but the vast majority of artists dont like it and it makes them uncomfortable. so id just like keep it in your sketchbook or whatever :) better safe than sorry.

anyway ah this is so longgggg! sry im so bad at being concise lol. theres probably a lot of youtube videos that could help you with this stuff if you want more explanation. the channel ive been watching a lot in since this summer is sketches of shay. she makes a variety of stuff but her art studies and resources are also very helpful :)

Sketches of Shay - YouTube

[residualmanifest]

having a good night got some important stuff done and about to lay down but also under read more is some grief talk and theres pics of AJ so pleas be careful thanks . #grief #suicide m (IM SAFE ! LOL . MENTIONED IN PASSING !)

i was looking at my friend folder finding somethign goofy to send a pal and i saw this and ;_; i never added my damn image on here ..... this card means everything 2 me still . a really funny bit thats transformed adn i think i would like to print it out . also this comic but this one really just tore me open ! lol !

im carrying it in my heart . AJ was really right with this comic . i miss you hon . it's weird right . like i just go days and days feeling like i'm non existent and i'm not even here the dissasociation is so bad and the only thing tahts helped ground me is talking about the good or bad of how im feeling with everything . im trying to hold it in and move but i mean . i just have no self awareness whether i'm actually Doing the job im trying to (shell everything inside) or if i'm just a mess and its spilling everywhere . i am trying to be more open and concise but its hard when i cant grasp !!! the concept of time LOL and shit ive said ! anyway . anyway . i love my friends . we were put on this earth to hang out and love . i miss AJ and its hard trying to find silver linings to 2023, like . meeting kitt and lynn ! fun birthday ! silverscream con ! got one of the best jobs ive ever had ! but i would trade all of it for march 23rd to have never happened .

it does not feel right trying to find a positive for last year, to be honest . i wish i could just let myself admit it was a horrible year . we lost AJ . i nearly got stabbed again, i was in an awful mental state and i felt drifted further apart from my sis and sil than i had in a while . while a lot of it got better, thankfully, there was just so much rotten there . i nearly attempted again, but i have a wonderful support system irl that i really need to use more . (love you ari and ide and naomh) with all of this said, i can only hope 2024 will be kinder . ive had a couple friends already get terrible news . 11 days in i've got some shaky things going on but man . man . lol enough trying to make positive out of it i just want to cry !!!!!! last year sucked !!!!! last year suuuuuucked ! FUCK last year !!!! THROWING A TANTRUM !!!!!! phew . okay . thank you for reading . i miss my friend . im grateful for the friends that are still around and understand the feeling .

[rin-and-jade]

Hiii! I hope you had a great year or at least you had fun and felt that you're alive, safe and loved :) the holydays are coming and I cant shake the feeling that I must wish you a peaceful one :'D I hate holydays :')

So. I dont know if you can remember me. Im that person who's told you about all my struggles regarding studying and having issues with controlling my attention and how I couldn't manage to pass an exam bc of my dissociation/ time processing i think a year ago i've written you that message... (I managed to pass the second one and it was great actually) but I wanted to ask you something. If you have the knowledge and/ or experience of course. At first I must point out i've been diagnosed with bpd, I dont know if this is a trait of it or if its DID... but. im having trouble with identifying whether this kind of problem is among others with DID or if Im just strictly borderline (maybe its just denial) and so. is it something thats related to bordeline if im not seeing this personalities as being "present" as I am? Like, i cant say they have ever been there at least as always as long as I am most of the time. I feel like they are always just standing behind me looking after me but at the same time letting me doing all the work. Sure. there are times when some dude is taking over to do the physical chores or the dude whos taking over just to have fun and get drunk (she's here right now cuz im tipsy and tried to "have fun") or when im in nature the hippy one comes near just to show me how important it is just being alive and appreciating nature.... but I dont feel like they are some separeted beings from me. As I was saying, they let me do all the work. I happen sometimes to have emotional amnesia and doing things without having control but they arent here! Does it make sense? Sometimes they speak to me and try to make themselves understood but only in those moments when im not aware as though they're sneaky and trying to hide from me... I doesnt seem fair, thats all.. and im really trying to make peace with them and whenever the persecutor comes into action im telling him to go fuck himself and try to be a bully with somebody else not with the persons who suffered. I mean why doesnt he try to come when we actually need him? For example when somebody is mean to us and we need to stop let ourselves be the black sheep or even when we feel verbally atacked? So im trying to get reasonable with him at that part. But there arent any signs that they really exist... they are somewhere deep I cant acces anything. And im thinking. I must have a to much active imagination. I given my sorrows and anxieties names, personalities overall. I feel guilty bc I dont want to seem like a bad person just for trying to find out what is going on in my dissociated mind (i dissociate a lot. So much that i cant understand my current life).... I dont want to seem like i pretend that I am someone or more likely somebodies that I am not.

So to summerize this: is it something common to find yourself that you lack the life activity around you of your personalities? They are only coming when its something urgent like remembering stuff at work or something that puts us in danger for not being neurotypicals, or when we need to remember what we studyied, what our names is, or how old are we (dont even get me started we sometimes guess wrong :'). ) when we have stuff to do and I feel like shit and I cant handle. What do you think? Sorry for the long message Im only trying to figure this out. Maybe you'll have a clue what im talking about because im getting the feeling that im too drunk to write concise (also this is not my first language)

Im gonna sign with two initials so you'll know from now on if we ever have other questions to ask you with L. (shes always trying to help shes the flower power one) and E. (shes just plain bold and very brave at everything she does)

Again im wishing you a wonderful day/night and a peaceful holyday (　・ω・)♡♡♡♤♤♤

Wait.. i KNOW you, it’s the brisk break method i ever told because sometimes focusing for too long depletes people’s energy faster and some other tips! Im so glad you actually passed because I’ve been sat here thinking if theres a change in your studies after seeing your ask being answered.

Would you pour me a glass too here as i say some stuffs,, also im having a great holiday, merry xmas.

I would admit that when we talk about alternate personalities between BPD and DID, its bit hard to actually discern which is which because it’s broad and everyone has it uniquely (aka will never be the same, thus cannot rule out easily) so.. hm. I have a way to explain and guide to your conclusion:

These two mental conditions fall into the same dissociative spectrum with different severity, thus why it may have similarities and could even overlap which will be harder to tell which belongs to what. That being said, the similarities with these two would be: some level of identity separation/disconnection, has normal and emotinal amnesia, automatic responses by dissociating to keep oneself from danger, and some inconsistencies with yourself.

The difference settles on the severity, how its triggered, and what related symptoms are commonly associated with the disorder.

As a bpd holder i can clearly tell apart which is from the disorder or not; you will have some sense of alternation, with this it won’t be as bad and you are aware that it’s part of you (which not always the case for did) + it doesn’t necessarily involve a shift in age, worldview or how you see yourself physically and more limited to states, percievings, and feelings. The critics are also in first-person for e.g. “this is so fricking stupid of me to say __ before, why did i do that???” That won’t apply to did.

Thats for one, though i want to keep it short so in general i want to say that bpd is from “idk which version of me is the actual me and i have a hard time finding and sticking to an authentic one” while did is “idk who i am and i thought i like this which turns out untrue after a few hours and i barely have got a sense of myself which makes me get stumped whenever i got asked something” kind of thing.

Things that are more bpd related: have struggles maintaining relations, mood swingy, fear of abandonment, emotional impermanence, anxious, very susceptible to amygdala hijacking

Things that are more did related: shifted sense of time, significant memory gaps, problems with memory consolidation and recall, frequent dissociation, feeling out of body, feeling not like yourself, inconsistent preferences

I cannot vouch if this is a yes or no about the question, coming from a system myself. So i hope you can do a bit more digging and use my insight to further help you, also feel free to contact me via DMs if it’s stull confusing. For now, i advice you to read more resources and take my words into account,

See you later!

- j

[coolbeansbuddyofmine]

Helurrrr

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

yasmeanie <3,

well, i'll get to it then. the rainbow is answered so i'll just do the other two! i will /try/ to be concise but again, no promises.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

considering who's asked this question, i suppose the fun answer would be vibes. and i guess that encapsulates what is the most important part to me---the mood, the tone, the themes they just need to feel right to me. i personally enjoy writing more emotional, character study-esque, introspective fics which is partially from my literature background in literary analyses. don't get me wrong, plot and characters and world-building is fun and all, but i think the emotional crux of the fic is most important to me which is why my tags are less technical or setting-based, and more like 'angst' or 'hurt/comfort' which tends to deal with the emotional gravitas of the work.

i think part of this is done through figurative language, so language is important to me. i think, first and foremost, i'm a poet and that translates to my prose and my fics, which tend to be more poetic, metaphorical filled with grandeur; purple prose if you will.

so yay emotions!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

oh fun!

so i have adhd and ive been working on multiple projects at once (as per usual, typical coolbeans honestly)

and here are the final chapters of my two favorite unfinished multichaps currently (with blurbs!)

so this is chapter 8 of the office au i've been writing for f4! i'm pretty far through but im still sorting out some plot details and trying to find time to write it all!

so this is my uber-fave (and only) fiery priest fic that im hella obsessed with right now and i'm soooo close to finishing chapter 4 i just need to power through for a couple hours and i should be done.

as for my up and coming work(s), i have lots of fun things !

this is for my despised beloves strangers again the show i cant get enough and it ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it. i want to give my baby hara the justice she deserves bc everyone in that show did her dirty and i will redeem her myself so be it. i said fuck canon and redid the ending as i deserve to

this is lawschool fic bc i saw something on pinterest and was inspired. it's all fluff pointless romance really.

this one i've had in my reserves since december when i watched the show and i WAS obsessed bc my man yim siwan needs to portray more green flag cuties but i also wanted horny daebeom

these two are what i like to call my sister fics. they're the folklore and evermore if you will. the sidecouple angst in two different flavours. if you've read beware the villainess, the first is like where she finally manages to get him freed, a post canon work, and the second as the title states, is canon divergence and still angsty but more adultier flavoured. more hurt.

i love love yona and yohan from beware the villainess this is them in case u dont know they are my favorite grumpy saintess queen x sunshine wizard simp

i've been really into manhwas since early last year (honestly if u follow me dedicatedly anywhere on social media, you'd probably already know this) and i have some i want to write for!

love,

rosey posey <3 (coolbeans/ro)

link to the original post if anyone else wants to ask me more! i'm finally back (proper) for the better i think <3 ask me more things im currently accepting prompts <3 !!!

[cherrylight]

hey. uh, sorry about this post... i dont mean to like post vents a lot recently, but things just been so difficult and hard for me to even talk about and then i get so scared that im going to be judged or hated... its been a lot. so. im sorry in advance.

this post is very long btw

hi, not sure where to really begin with this but i guess its better to just say it and let it be said then not i suppose...

summer is usually the worst season for me in general, i hate summer anyway so no surprise. so im sorry for not being up to par on being happy-go-lucky or whatever, i try to do things to help myself and be like ok, i can handle it. i can take that for a while. but theres only so much i can take before its overbearing to a point it wont quit.

im not good at explaining myself so ill try to keep this as concise as possible.

i suffer way too much from social isolation and sure, i try to talk to people and i try so *so* hard to like throw myself out there, but its difficult and im scared on messing up and making a huge fool of myself. its gotten progressively worse and mentioning it to someone only added to the feeling of feeling like a complete chore to even interact with . . .

im like the most socially anxious person you could ever meet but i would do absolutely anything to socialize with others and be friends with people if it wasnt for the multiple negative experiences ive had during my life.

this goes hand in hand with the fact i want to talk about my own things, but fear of being judged and hated upon heavily affects me. theres a lot of things i want to share on this blog, but i cant out of fear of talking way too much or its just unnecessary information or its not what everyone was here to see i guess . . . which is stupid, i know.

i am not good at like expressing myself or my interests at all, but i get so excited upon talking about them and then in return the excitement is unrequited (majority of the time), sometimes it is and im so *so* utterly grateful for that because it means the absolute world to me.

tldr because im talking a lot: social isolation is a bitch and it has affected me my entire life to a point of feeling chronic loneliness, i want to talk about my interests with excitement but i have a lot of fear upon doing so. i just want to enjoy myself and not feel like a chore on a daily

to add: this isnt on selfship almost at all, i feel like i can actively talk about it and enjoy it a lot, i just have so much fear of being weird or odd and what ive stated earlier does not help

again, sorry for the long post and sorry for constantly venting lately. my brain feels like its in a constant fog and ive stared up at the ceiling like multiple times today

hopefully things will get better ... hopefully

[theendoftheworldasyouknowit]

mar. 19.

its… what, the second time ive written in a diary to try and get my motor control back? first time i had a hole blown open in my head, now its.. this. i wonder if its my own fault for living in my head too much. thinking about things that can't be changed. it felt like he was pulling my brain out with a fucking knitting needle, unravelling like spaghetti. was it all actually that bad, and thats why it hurt? or was it because someone else was looking? is it the pain of holding a grudge for so long? does it even matter? it doesn't hurt now, but thinking about it makes me upset.

Mammon and i had sex last night. i was really hoping if i did fuck him, itd be under better circumstances. not a 'if i don't fuck you your brains gonna turn into mold' situation.

he said he loved me. like, twenty times.

i hope Kieran doesn't mind. i know he's been trying to get with him.

before i got… lets say, brought to gehenna, i read through some of my old diary entries. i like to think i'm currently better about it, but i think i had some kind of guilt complex when i was younger. at least in the earlier entries (before i kind of lost it) it felt like i was trying to compensate for something. i think i know what.

before i moved to nevada, i was kind of emotionally dead to the world. a shitty coping mechanism for a shitty person. i couldn't stomach so much of what had happened. it doesn't hurt if you don't let it hurt.

i think another part of it is because i didn't want to potentially upset people who went sticking their nose where it didn't fucking belong. i'm still kind of mad about all that. but i think even for awhile, even after i had gotten away from it all, i was still in that mindset. emotional numbness. although i think with how many breakdowns i had it would be kind of silly to call it numbness. more like making up for lost time.

even outside of that, feeling like, in a way, everything was my fault. i feel like im walking on fucking eggshells sometimes. i love the people in my life so much but god sometimes i just want to scream. i want to run away and hide somewhere.

actually. im mad. im so fucking angry. maybe being in gehenna and around wrath demons in such a concentrated amount of time and space has kind of fucked up my ability to process rage better but i am so fucking angry. i dont know how to put this concisely but it also doesnt fucking matter! im angry because it feels like kieran didnt even fucking care i got nabbed and that all hes focused on is getting in mammons pants, and im still made over shit that happened years ago that i didnt get a fucking im sorry for. just sex. im so sick of sex. im so fucking sick of it i dont wanna be touched or kissed or groped im SO SICK OF IT ALL I CANT FUCKING DO ANYTHING ANY WAY I TRY TO ESCAPE HAS EXPLOITABLE LOOPHOLES. IS THE ONLY WAY OUT SUICIDE?

is this the mental contamination? another episode? the final straw?

i dont wanna play anymore

god the only reason people even talk to me is because i have big tits isnt it?

they are getting sick of me arent they. theres only so many times you can play the same game before you get bored.

fuck it. ill leave before they can.

its been so long since ive felt this genuinely angry. usually it dies out after a few minutes. i havent had the energy to be upset properly.

i thought i was getting better

he was laughing at me. he was saying how much it must hurt to carry such a heavy load on my shoulders. he almost decapitated me, saying he'd help with the burden.

i ripped out gabriels throat. i didnt want to call Mammon for help, make him see the carnage because i couldnt save myself.

he still showed up.

i think i love him too