#im trying to be concise but i really cant

[bestfictionaldinosaur]

Someone just asked a very good question; whether or not I would be the only one doing the initial candidate filtering. I haven't finalized anything about that process, bu the short answer is yes, mostly... probably. My thoughts so far:

First of all, my top priority is to keep in as many candidates as possible; I only intend to make cuts to prevent oversaturation of a single franchise, or of a specific archetype of dinosaur. So, for series that have less than the cap (whatever that number may be), I will almost certainly not make any cuts, except in certain special cases should there be any.

Now, when it comes to filtering within an oversaturated series, the logical thing to do may be to let you guys determine who stays and who gets cut. I'm definitely still considering this, especially in the event that I can't filter out anyone for a logical reason and have to resort to my own preference.

However, I want to minimize this for a couple reasons; firstly I don't want any kind of voting fatigue (for you or me!) to build up early, since it would take multiple rounds of polling just to do the filtering if I were to use only that. Secondly and more importantly, it would make the process MUCH longer than it needs to be since I would have to leave each poll up for like a week to ensure proper visibility, and depending on how many candidates we end up getting (still kind of hoping it will blow up, but we'll see), this could turn into a huge hassle.

So yeah, nothing is set in stone yet, but most likely it will primarily be me using my own judgement by the powers given to me by spending college money to take dinosaur classes despite it having nothing at all to do with my major at the time. I am notoriously bad at making up my mind though (or at least I would be if I had a friend group), so I will definitely consider resorting to popular polls in cases where I get stuck.

[vociferans]

seeing temma write such an extensive amount of text to fully cover the bases to avoid any miscommunication is so validating to see

[zuureleena]

i drew the mercs, miss pauling, admin, and my tf2 oc on the plane to uni 😭

i did all of these a week ago and completely forgot to post them HAJAHAH miss p, the admin, and a rlly simplified ver of my tf2 oc miss lynn!! (zoey lynn hehe + js rambles abt her) under the cut

IM ACTUALLY REWORKING HER DESIGN RNNNN bcs i made her on the sims 4 LMAO and realised how much better and concise she looked, but i really wanna try and make her look like someone you'd js see irl? sooOOo tryna make her also recognisable from silhouette alone and blahablahblah tho she isn't the kind of character that would rlly make too much of a difference in the tf2 universe

i js wanted to make a loveable character LMAO who'd have more of an impact on the relationships and kinda the story?

i liked the idea of miss p having an extroverted bestfriend who's also her wingwoman bcs miss pauling is obvs an awkward lesbian mess who needs help in the love department, and vice versa bcs zoey is into scout and miss pauling is js so glad to have him move on n realise that they r better as friends!! and that he needs to be with someone who isn't annoyed by him 24/7 (IM SORRY, LWNAKS MY SELF-INSERTEDNESS GOT IN THE WAY HAHAHAHA I CANT HELP IT) also, i haven't rlly thought of any orientation for zoey... i'm thinking of her js being a het woman or js whatever u wanna interpret her as!! cuz her sexuality isn't a core thing abt her

she's an absolute harbinger of chaos who'd do anyt for money and some company (this girl has been hella lonely n stressed out of her mind and i'll explain why in an oc post🤭🤭) and even tho she never outright admits it, she does enjoy the freedom of violence she gets to have as a mann co assistant 😭 (which will ALSO make sense when i explain her background to u guys later on)

and bcs of her long experience w shady bosses and asshole customers she's had to deal within all the jobs she's had, she catches onto the administrator's whole thing with the australium fairly early into the job, but she's in tooooo deep now and is like "damn. do i get myself out of this fucked up job (that i am fucked up enough to actually enjoy) or do i stay bcs i literally have everything i've ever wanted....shit." like,, she did say she'd do anyt for money but at the cost of what 😭 [also MAN i wish we got that final comic so i can js make zoey's suspicions make sense??!?@ but in a way it js works bcs it's js this massive mystery that we don't even know of ourselves???? so likeee, im js assuming its smth rlly dangerous or smth bcs helen literally goes to the most insane lengths to get australium and finish off her final... thingy.. that uh DEBT is it... i forgot what she called it BUT WHATEVER BUSINESS SHE HAD TO ATTEND TO B4 SHE DIED QOABJASH]

OH AND YEAH, zoey hates how bossy the admin is and is an ass abt it at times, and the admin wants zoey gone so badly bcs shes an annoying little shit (which she is and honestly, her and scout can be annoying shits tgt <3) but miss p always convinces her to keep zoey BAGAHAHA and they do get things done much faster w zoey there sooOoOOo 🌝🤭

i mean she does try to kill both miss p & l anyway but still, she can't deny that they r both good at what they do

BWOSBQJS BYE I DONT THINK ANYONE IS GONNA READ THIS AHAGAH BUT THANK YOU IF U DID 😭 I HAVE SM ABT ZOEY AND I RLLY WANT HER TO BE LOVEABLE AUGHWGS

[sunset-of-the-void]

okay ive been trying to organize my thoughts forever and its not exactly working so. i'm just gonna launch things in as short and concise as i can make it so i dont ramble incoherantly forever (/lh)

so,, i'll start with my perception of norton, because by god i think i should think about him more,,,

i'm not gonna touch on his mom because i have no clue what the fuck happened to her honestly, but i think norton's dad has always been kind of. accidentally distant? like in a way you could tell he cared for his son, but there was probably always an air of stress/tiredness about him (similar to norton as he aged) that got worse from the black lung and aging, and also the way that they were never guarenteed to have necessities all the time was something that occupied his mind a lot. (i imagine personally that while the two were never close, norton could understand the reasons why hence choosing to stay by his side once he fell bedridden)

also, while norton probably didn't work in the mines for his entire life, he'd probably do small jobs on the side to help out with funds, especially considering his lack of an (official? authentic?? i cant recall the word im looking for) education in canon, so you know. he's been aware of the concept of money and status for a while i'd assume, even moreso when he starts working in the mines as a teenager (which i'd assume is when his father's illness starts worsening as well) and people there are just. ruthless i'd imagine. considering in his trailer he looks (debatably?) younger than the other men it's probably from both a mix of him being a newer worker and possibly being worse off than them as well plus the stress on him having to be the only provider for two people, one of which is ill as well, as a teenager proobably doesnt help much with the situation either...... i've not much to add other than this, though touching on his personality in the manor, despite being reserved and a liittle grumpy he is very sweet once you get past the walls he put up! he's the type of person to help someone who needs it (albeit he may make a show of being reluctant about it) but he does know what its like to struggle and how much a helping hand could mean to someone. he's still very empathetic in my mind :]

very very briefly onto andrew because if i dont limit myself this will be soo much longer. but i'll try not to get too excited and i'll cut out most of his life (pretty much all of it up to about laz cemetary)

so basically andrew also had similar situations being born in poverty, while norton managed to gain financial security as he became a prospector (i think?) andrew didnt really. get that at all. even when working with laz (if he did, there wouldnt be a reason to be tempted by grave robbing, right???) and i personally assume people would price gouge him for the sake of him being "impure" or whatever, so even with the pay from mikhail/percy it never really lasted quite long enough,,,,

andrew only left after getting caught by marshall, and fled immediately after the (accidental) murder. (to summarize it shortly andrew panicked and stabbed him a few times with the shovel and then accidentally buried him while he was still alive in a nearby patch of dirt) and he showed up to the manor with. practically nothing. he had a change of clothes, his shovel, and some trinkets that were dear to him, and to me he kind of traveled on foot the nearly whole time to the manor (using the funds he had left from the final deal of the "slabs" to take a train as far as he could with the money)

so now like.. the actual current important thing (sorry dhsjdjfj......)

once andrew shows up to the manor he's in ah. generally pretty bad shape. and people kind of have one of two reactions of either "wow this guys one of the stranger ones" or "this guy needs. a lot of help" (depending on how you look at it) and norton kind of realizes almost immediately from andrew's general anxious demeanour and gaunt figure that he has nothing going for him, so why would he make that worse?? plus in the manor norton kind of gravitates away from nobility/aristocracy i believe and andrew is very. noticably not either of those, andrew is just grateful that norton's not reacting negatively to his very presence and he puts a lot of trust in norton. (like, norton gets a fuck ton of life stories that luca and emil dont hear about) im working on a fic of their first technical interaction and im not sure if i'll ever finish it since ive been stewing it since like.. april but they're cute to me

Hello! Very excited to read through this

To be honest i dont think norton's mom is mentioned like ever. At least in nothing i personally have read. I do agree that hia family would have been distant. They were in living in poverty and it puts a strain on anyone much less a family. To me it aids in norton's cutthroat nature of just having a life of anything but the suffering of poverty.

I would love to read the fic once you finish it! I really like andrew and norton getting each other as they have both been ostracized from society for being poor and then for Andrew being albino! I was going to have a lot more to say but i dont think it would have added much to this. I will be marinating on thoughts for this thank you so much for the ramble friend!

[bambyyves]

BRAT CHARLI XCX REVIEW!!!!!🔫🔫🔫

okayyyy so hi i know i have like no followers but i wanna try to review this album because i have alotttf of thoughts and i really wanna just air them out while theyre still fresh.

so my overall thoughts, its amazing. some of her best work since 2019's charli (i didnt love hifn and crash was just subpar in my mind). i love the raw vulnerability of the lyrics. and i love how the harsh electronic beats and the very poetic almost stream of conciseness lyrics compliment each other. and songs like club classics and talk talk are pure pop perfection. like talk talk is a summer anthem and club classics ive had on repeat since it dropped!!!!

and this goes into my complaints with the record. i just feel like theres a problem with the album NOT being a dance pop album like it was promoted to be. the lead up to this album was all about how this is a rave album and it is not. theres rave moments but most of it is very vulnerable poetry over electro beats. and on a couple songs i just dont think this works. for example, rewind. theres parts of the song that i live for, but i wish it was more like POP! like i understand and relate to the lyrics but with this pc music bubble gum bass instrumental i just dont get it. and also b2b i just never loved this song. the repetitiveness doesnt work in this song like @ all! and it makes it more disappointing how charli is the queen of repetitive hooks. it just doesnt have any substance to it as a song.

another thing i dislike its this version of 365😭😭 i like the idea of the 360 instrumental. but the outro is very underwhelming in my opinion. idk if its just not enough bass or anything but its just kinda flat as a song. the easyfun remix is really good but i hate shygirl

but after all that hating lets get into the positives!!!!! this is some of charlis best production. again talk talk is amazing but also everything is romantic is so amazingly produced with the string sections and beats and then that bridge with the vocal effects. WHICH IS ANOTHER THING I NOTICED, the way her producers edit her vocals throughout the album is so cool. like club classics being built around vocal loops i just nerd out on shit like that. 360 and mean girls being love letters to the chloe cherrys and julia foxes of the world i think is very sweet and of the time. although im not a fan of mean girls EXTREMELY literal lyrics, which im aware is the purpose but idk i dont feel it. i love girl, so confusing's beat drop (wish they did that with 365 but WHATEVERRR) and i love how it talks about having disagreements with another female artist without it being petty beef. and i have a problem with her fandom pitting her and other female artists together to be bitchy and fighting like its baddies. which is also a theme is sympathy is a knife with the "i hope i dont see her at my boyfriend's show" which can be about taylor or twigs.

either way charli doesnt have to be besties with these women but i think its so childish how charli's fans have created this like shade room type reaction to stuff like this. but that is a different convo for a different day.

i think about it all the time is a total highlight for me. its such an adorable song about a topic soo rarely touched in pop music. and that is the biggest positive to this album, it touches on things you dont see in pop music and does it in a very stripped way.

so now we get to so i. now we have gotten plenty of sophie tributes in the past couple years. and i think this is the most sincere of those. since charli was SOO close to sophie i think this is very loving and honest. and isnt a song about the image of sophie but the actual experience of being a close friend of her. so i give charli props for being so honest with the way shes expressing grief.

so final thoughts. i think this is one of the strongest and most unique pop albums in the last like 5 years. like i cant think of another pop album quite like this and i really enjoy it. and i honestly think it will grow on me more with more listens.

CURRENT RATING: 7.5/10

~xx yves

[glazeliights]

Danganronpa in toki pona, part 2: talents

if you havent read the first part go do that

toki!

the first post only focused on transliterating, but now were getting into actual translation territory. that means I get to explain toki pona words and grammar. the main two words Ill be using here are ken (ability, skill (but also possibility)) and wawa (power). then there is of course jan (person) to talk about the actual students. for convenience, and to keep with the toki pona spirit, I will try my best to keep phrases short and only use up to one pi.

speaking of which

what the hell is pi?

this is one of the aspects of the language that is most difficult for new learners to grasp because theres really nothing like this in english. so, in toki pona you cant really combine multiple words into one (a process called agglutination, something you might know from jokes about how long german words can get) instead, you have one main word that you attach modifiers to (names, by the way, are always modifiers in toki pona, which is why they need a head noun). so a phrase X Y can be interpreted as "X exhibiting qualities of Y, Y-ish X, X of Y, Y's X", stuff like that.

but things get ambiguous when you have three words. "mute" means many, a lot, etc, but its also used to mean "very". so if you read something like jan pona mute, how are you supposed to know whether its "many good people" or a "very good person"? this is where pi comes in. pi regroups modifiers, and its easiest to show this with brackets. if you do not use pi, modifiers apply to all the words before them. so jan pona mute is ((jan pona) mute), many good people. jan pi pona mute, however, is (jan (pona mute)), a very good person. this is a very important concept to understand in toki pona.

a note about translation & interpretation

words in toki pona dont really correspond 1:1 to any specific word. rather, they cover a range of meaning that can be intepreted in various ways depending on context. akesi Lipamanka calls these ranges "semantic spaces" and has started writing a dictionary based on them. this is sort of like calling something a building and not specifying whether you mean a house, a school, a church, a shopping mall, etc. if its obvious from context, then you dont need to specify. the only difference is that toki pona words generally have broader ranges than english words. just know that for any translation and backtranslation I give, theres a lot of other ways someone could read them.

also, ideally all of the talents would actually be translated into full introductory sentences, both because its more pona and because, again, itd provide some neat opportunities for distinction between characters, especially ones who share a talent. but whenever I need to refer to their talents in a short-form way, these phrases will have to do.

so, aside from individual pieces of vocab, theres not much else to know. I will explain everything else as I go along.

- - -

talentless - jan ken ala (not skilled-person, non-ultimate) or jan pi ken ala (unskilled person, someone with no skills) Im sure theres something fun to be done with the subtle difference between these

ultimate ??? - jan pi ken ???

- - -

ultimate lucky student - jan wawa pi ken pona ("powerful good-possibilites person", luck is.. difficult to translate, but I feel like ken pona is alright at being both concise and clear enough in meaning. its also a wawa cause yknow. luck isnt really a skill)

ultimate detective - jan ken pi kama sona ("skilled knowledge-aquiring person", yeah, no notes here. after all what is a detective if not one who figures out information?)

ultimate affluent progeny - jan wawa pi mani mute ("powerful rich person", I didnt really lean into the heir aspect here sorry. I also do not really care about this guy so eh)

ultimate writer - jan ken pi toki musi ("skilled entertaining-words person", musi is a rather broad category so I think it fits for stories)

ultimate murderous fiend - jan moli ken ("skilled death-person", pretty self explanatory)

ultimate pop sensation - jan ken pi kalama musi ("skilled fun-sounds person", so I really wanted to make sure I distinguished the music-based talents cause technically you could just reduce all of them to kalama. kalama musi is a pretty widely used and generic phrase for music, which imo fits well for pop)

ultimate baseball player - jan ken pi tawa sike ("skilled ball-movement/circular movement person", okay so. I was originally going to talk about how I wouldnt be able to disambiguate the two ball sport related talents bc like. theyre both about moving balls, sike tawa. but then I had the absolute genius idea to use tawa sike instead since it can refer to both the movement of the baseball itself and the circular movement of running around the bases)

ultimate programmer - jan ken pi ilo nanpa ("skilled computer person", ilo nanpa is a fairly common way of referring to electronic devices so. yeah)

ultimate biker gang leader - jan wawa pi lawa kulupu ("powerful group-leadership person" uhhgh sorry I dont really know how to put the kon of "biker gang" into an short phrase. this is an example of why full sentences to describe talents would probably be more apt)

ultimate moral compass - jan wawa pi nasin pona ("powerful good-rules person" nasin can be interpreted as a lot of things, but fundamentally it is some sort of way one might follow, either physical like a path or metaphorical like rules (fun fact: in the context of languages, its often used to mean grammar. people who speak toki pona in a way that deviates from common usage generally call this their personal nasin)

ultimate fanfic creator - jan ken pi sitelen musi ("skilled entertaining-pictures person", I think thats a reasonable translation of comics? plus sitelen can also refer to writing so it works in two ways)

ultimate gambler - jan wawa pi musi mani ("powerful money-games person", also a luck-based talent, therefore a wawa. I dont think this one needs much explanation)

ultimate martial artist - jan wawa ken ("skilled strong person", wawa can also mean physical strength so. I really wanted her to be a jan wawa and a jan ken, to emphasize her strength and add to her initial intimidation factor)

ultimate swimmer - jan ken pi tawa telo/kala ("skilled water-movement/fishlike movement person" both of those are fairly uncontroversial ways to describe swimmimg. no notes here)

ultimate clairvoyant - jan wawa pi sona kama/jan sona pi tenpo kama ("powerful incoming-knowledge person/"future knowledge-person", uouuugh. this is one of the ones that gave me the most trouble. clairvoyance is something thats real fucking difficult to put into a quick and snappy phrase. moreover, I think the second phrase is more accurate but it doesnt include wawa which would set him apart from other ultimates for basically no reason? like mayybe I could say jan wawa pi tenpo kama but "future powers" is a bit too vague imo :/)

ultimate soldier - jan utala ken ("skilled battle person", no notes here)

ultimate fashionista - jan ken pi len pona ("skilled good-clothes person", theres a lot of ways you could go about translating fashion, but I think this one suffices. do not even ask me to try and translate ultimate analyst into a simple phrase I will literally die)

- - -

ultimate everything - jan pi ken ale ("all-abilities person", fitting + contrasts nicely with jan pi ken ala)

ultimate gamer - jan musi ken ("skilled games person", musi refers to anything related to entertainment, and its often used on its own to say game so. yeah)

ultimate imposter - jan ken pi jan ante ("skilled other-people person", again, I think this one especially suffers from not being in full sentences, but I think its still accurate. their talent is (being) other people)

ultimate animator - jan ken pi sitelen tawa ("skilled moving-pictures person", sitelen tawa is a fairly common & uncontroversial translation of movies/videos/animations so yeah)

ultimate chef - jan moku ken ("skilled food person", I really really dont think toki pona is built to get across the tiny little nuance cook vs chef so I guess thats staying out of the tp translation? then again I dont think Ill translate anything with teruteru in it because I dont really like him at all)

ultimate photographer - jan ken pi ilo sitelen ("skilled picture-tool person", no notes)

ultimate swordswoman - jan ken pi ilo utala ("skilled fighting-tool person", no notes)

ultimate yakuza - jan wawa pi kulupu Jakusa ("powerful Yakuza-group person", Im gonna say it outright, any attempts to describe the yakuza in this tiny little phrase turned out reductive and Bad. you really cant put the intricacies of organized crime into a two word toki pona phrase. it does feel kind of like cheating to simply tokiponize the word but the other options all suck ass. the actual description will simply have to be contained in fuyuhikos introduction, where I can use full sentences)

ultimate musician - jan ken pi kalama wawa ("skilled loud-sound person", like I said, I wanted to differentiate the kalama-based talents, and if theres one thing ibukis music is, its loud)

ultimate traditional dancer - jan ken pi tawa musi ("skilled entertaining-movement person", yeah, fairly normal way to say dancing. thats it)

ultimate nurse - jan ken pi pona sijelo ("skilled body-wellness person", if youre partial to nimi ku suli, you could also replace pona sijelo with misikeke ("medicine"), though due to the changed modifier amount the whole thing would then be jan misikeke ken)

ultimate gymnast - jan ken pi tawa mute ("skilled lots-of-movement person", no notes)

ultimate team manager - jan ken pi pona kulupu ("skilled group-wellness person", no notes)

ultimate breeder - jan ken pi soweli mute ("skilled many-animals person", while calling his talent unpa soweli might be more accurate to him being a breeder, I really really didnt want to call him the animal sex guy)

ultimate princess - jan lawa ken ("skilled leader", so, I generally consider leadership to be a wawa rather than a ken, however, I also wanted a way to contrast her talent w kokichis, and I think wawa is more capable of having sinister undertones than ken. I mean think about it, between "skilled leader" and "powerful leader", who sounds more menacing?)

ultimate mechanic - jan ken pi pona ilo ("skilled machine-wellness person", no notes)

- - -

ultimate pianist - jan ken pi ilo kalama ("skilled instrument (sound-tool) person", since theres no other talent that specifically mentions an instrument theres no need to specifically describe a piano)

ultimate child caregiver - jan awen ken pi jan sin ("skilled child (new/young-person) protection person, so I wasnt quite sure how to convey taking care of someone without using too many words, but I think awen comes close enough? because youre keeping them safe and happy? I dunno. though I do like that awen doesnt necessarily imply that maki would be nice to them, which I think could work in her favor?)

ultimate assassin - jan ken pi moli len ("skilled hidden-death person", no notes)

ultimate astronaut - jan ken pi tawa mun ("skilled star-travel person", no notes)

ultimate.. leader - jan lawa wawa ("powerful leader", like I said earlier, I think this makes him sound kind of ominous which fits the way he presents himself over the course of the game)

ultimate adventurer - jan ken pi tawa musi ("skilled? entertaining-travel person", because what is an adventure if not an exciting journey. also Im not sure how going on adventures is necessarily a skill but its even less of a wawa, so)

ultimate tennis player - jan ken pi sike tawa ("skilled moving-ball person", having tawa sike vs sike tawa as disambiguation between this and baseball is like, really flimsy but its better than nothing so Im keeping it)

ultimate maid - jan ken pi pali mute ("skilled many-jobs person", yeah, I think this pretty much gets across her Mädchen für Alles (lit. "girl for everything", a person whos there to help with anything and everything when someone needs them) energy)

ultimate magician - jan ken pi wawa musi (calls herself jan usawi wawa) ("skilled entertaining-powers person/powerful magic person", so. usawi is one of them newfangled words that barely anyone uses but its special to me bc jan Usawi makes some damn good music. also I read somewhere that in the japanese version himiko actually speaks in a distinct dialect? therefore I think itd be kind of cool for her to use nimisin that no one else does)

ultimate neo-aikido master - jan ken pi tawa wawa/tawa Akito ("skilled powerful-movement/Aikido-movement person", uhh this one could go either way. tawa wawa is more descriptive but tawa Akito is clearer abt the fact that its aikido specifically? then again it always feels a bit like cheating to just tokiponize. what ever)

ultimate artist - jan ken pi kiwen sitelen ("skilled artful-stone(or other hard material) person", shes a sculptor. thats her talent. why did they just translate it as generic artist SHES A SCULPTOR. shaking the localization by the neck)

ultimate anthropologist - jan ken pi sona jan ("skilled people-knowledge person", no notes on the talent itself but I heard this guy talks in a sort of archaic way. therefore Id like to propose that he uses majuna bc its a pre-pu (therefore old) word and the word itself means ancient. I think it would be funny if that was a word he used, and perhaps also limited to no usage of ku words? much to think about)

ultimate inventor - jan ken pi ilo sin ("skilled new-tools/machines person", no notes)

ultimate entomologist - jan ken pi sona pipi ("skilled bug-knowledge person", no notes)

ultimate robot - jan ilo wawa ("powerful machine-person", as mentioned in the names post I think theres some interesting stuff to be done with people referring to him differently, especially kokichi)

ultimate cosplayer - jan ken pi len ante ("skilled different-clothes person", so obviously cosplaying is more than just clothes, however it works well enough here  + len can also mean cover in a metaphorical sense, like hidden things and secrets. which works rather well I think)

[royal-they]

hi so i kinda happened to fall in love with your art.....and i wanted to ask a few things!!! (if its ok!)

uhmm first of all how long did it take you to get that art style and perfection it etc etc?

also do you have any tips for anatomy? not big complex full body anatomy, just like...idrk honestly, some tips related to anatomy or hands or just the body that helped/help you?

and uh yeah if you just have any general tips on whatever to improve my art/art style i'll take litterally anything 😭

again, i love your art, i love what you make! keep doing what you do, you're awesome!!!! sending love and support <3

ah!! tysm <333!! thats so cool to hear!!!!!!!!!/gen

ive been drawing forever honestly. i've always been really into it. im fifteen so thatd be like 12 years. and obviously i wasnt always studying it super seriously or anything. idk. my art isnt perfect by any means. i just dont really post the shitty pieces lmao. i struggle with sm stuff and will be continuing to study probably till the day i cant hold a pencil anymore lol. (i draw too much, my hand hurts ;w;) its a never ending process and honestly thats why i love it sm.

as for anatomy i think the main thing to keep in mind is that anatomy and just drawing people in general is really hard. i heard this in this old video about how pixar used to do 3d animation is that the reason they didnt do animations of humans for so long is because we ourselves have very specefic ideas of what a human looks like. i think this also applies to art. which is a really long way of saying, trust the process.

i use photos personally! you can find a lot on pinterest but there are a couple things id keep in mind when it comes to photos people edit their bodies sometimes so their proportions so be careful, it will defeat the purpose of the study if the bodies inaccurate.

idk here are some that might be good for starting off. dancers and people like that are super helpful. remember to not to focus too much on the lines but more copying down the shapes,

for hands i would just look at your own hands and try to capture them quickly. i say quickly mainly bc i shake a lot lmao, maybe youre different. or you could just be smart and take a picture of your hand but im very lazy and dont like getting up to grab my phone.

for art style id just save stuff that inspire you. could be animations, comics, album covers, cool photos, just stuff that gives you like vibes. literally ANYTHING.

like, omg this is making me think of a cool idea rn!! save it! even if you cant execute it now you can always execute it in the future when your skills are more developed :)

style studies are also helpful! try copying art you like, seeing different peoples techniques however some things to keep in mind with this are

you might accidently copy down an artists mistakes or bad habits without realizing it so try to have some variety in your artists

dont post the art. some people are okay with tracing but the vast majority of artists dont like it and it makes them uncomfortable. so id just like keep it in your sketchbook or whatever :) better safe than sorry.

anyway ah this is so longgggg! sry im so bad at being concise lol. theres probably a lot of youtube videos that could help you with this stuff if you want more explanation. the channel ive been watching a lot in since this summer is sketches of shay. she makes a variety of stuff but her art studies and resources are also very helpful :)

Sketches of Shay - YouTube

[studiousbotanist]

having a good night got some important stuff done and about to lay down but also under read more is some grief talk and theres pics of AJ so pleas be careful thanks . #grief #suicide m (IM SAFE ! LOL . MENTIONED IN PASSING !)

i was looking at my friend folder finding somethign goofy to send a pal and i saw this and ;_; i never added my damn image on here ..... this card means everything 2 me still . a really funny bit thats transformed adn i think i would like to print it out . also this comic but this one really just tore me open ! lol !

im carrying it in my heart . AJ was really right with this comic . i miss you hon . it's weird right . like i just go days and days feeling like i'm non existent and i'm not even here the dissasociation is so bad and the only thing tahts helped ground me is talking about the good or bad of how im feeling with everything . im trying to hold it in and move but i mean . i just have no self awareness whether i'm actually Doing the job im trying to (shell everything inside) or if i'm just a mess and its spilling everywhere . i am trying to be more open and concise but its hard when i cant grasp !!! the concept of time LOL and shit ive said ! anyway . anyway . i love my friends . we were put on this earth to hang out and love . i miss AJ and its hard trying to find silver linings to 2023, like . meeting kitt and lynn ! fun birthday ! silverscream con ! got one of the best jobs ive ever had ! but i would trade all of it for march 23rd to have never happened .

it does not feel right trying to find a positive for last year, to be honest . i wish i could just let myself admit it was a horrible year . we lost AJ . i nearly got stabbed again, i was in an awful mental state and i felt drifted further apart from my sis and sil than i had in a while . while a lot of it got better, thankfully, there was just so much rotten there . i nearly attempted again, but i have a wonderful support system irl that i really need to use more . (love you ari and ide and naomh) with all of this said, i can only hope 2024 will be kinder . ive had a couple friends already get terrible news . 11 days in i've got some shaky things going on but man . man . lol enough trying to make positive out of it i just want to cry !!!!!! last year sucked !!!!! last year suuuuuucked ! FUCK last year !!!! THROWING A TANTRUM !!!!!! phew . okay . thank you for reading . i miss my friend . im grateful for the friends that are still around and understand the feeling .

[rin-and-jade]

Hiii! I hope you had a great year or at least you had fun and felt that you're alive, safe and loved :) the holydays are coming and I cant shake the feeling that I must wish you a peaceful one :'D I hate holydays :')

So. I dont know if you can remember me. Im that person who's told you about all my struggles regarding studying and having issues with controlling my attention and how I couldn't manage to pass an exam bc of my dissociation/ time processing i think a year ago i've written you that message... (I managed to pass the second one and it was great actually) but I wanted to ask you something. If you have the knowledge and/ or experience of course. At first I must point out i've been diagnosed with bpd, I dont know if this is a trait of it or if its DID... but. im having trouble with identifying whether this kind of problem is among others with DID or if Im just strictly borderline (maybe its just denial) and so. is it something thats related to bordeline if im not seeing this personalities as being "present" as I am? Like, i cant say they have ever been there at least as always as long as I am most of the time. I feel like they are always just standing behind me looking after me but at the same time letting me doing all the work. Sure. there are times when some dude is taking over to do the physical chores or the dude whos taking over just to have fun and get drunk (she's here right now cuz im tipsy and tried to "have fun") or when im in nature the hippy one comes near just to show me how important it is just being alive and appreciating nature.... but I dont feel like they are some separeted beings from me. As I was saying, they let me do all the work. I happen sometimes to have emotional amnesia and doing things without having control but they arent here! Does it make sense? Sometimes they speak to me and try to make themselves understood but only in those moments when im not aware as though they're sneaky and trying to hide from me... I doesnt seem fair, thats all.. and im really trying to make peace with them and whenever the persecutor comes into action im telling him to go fuck himself and try to be a bully with somebody else not with the persons who suffered. I mean why doesnt he try to come when we actually need him? For example when somebody is mean to us and we need to stop let ourselves be the black sheep or even when we feel verbally atacked? So im trying to get reasonable with him at that part. But there arent any signs that they really exist... they are somewhere deep I cant acces anything. And im thinking. I must have a to much active imagination. I given my sorrows and anxieties names, personalities overall. I feel guilty bc I dont want to seem like a bad person just for trying to find out what is going on in my dissociated mind (i dissociate a lot. So much that i cant understand my current life).... I dont want to seem like i pretend that I am someone or more likely somebodies that I am not.

So to summerize this: is it something common to find yourself that you lack the life activity around you of your personalities? They are only coming when its something urgent like remembering stuff at work or something that puts us in danger for not being neurotypicals, or when we need to remember what we studyied, what our names is, or how old are we (dont even get me started we sometimes guess wrong :'). ) when we have stuff to do and I feel like shit and I cant handle. What do you think? Sorry for the long message Im only trying to figure this out. Maybe you'll have a clue what im talking about because im getting the feeling that im too drunk to write concise (also this is not my first language)

Im gonna sign with two initials so you'll know from now on if we ever have other questions to ask you with L. (shes always trying to help shes the flower power one) and E. (shes just plain bold and very brave at everything she does)

Again im wishing you a wonderful day/night and a peaceful holyday (　・ω・)♡♡♡♤♤♤

Wait.. i KNOW you, it’s the brisk break method i ever told because sometimes focusing for too long depletes people’s energy faster and some other tips! Im so glad you actually passed because I’ve been sat here thinking if theres a change in your studies after seeing your ask being answered.

Would you pour me a glass too here as i say some stuffs,, also im having a great holiday, merry xmas.

I would admit that when we talk about alternate personalities between BPD and DID, its bit hard to actually discern which is which because it’s broad and everyone has it uniquely (aka will never be the same, thus cannot rule out easily) so.. hm. I have a way to explain and guide to your conclusion:

These two mental conditions fall into the same dissociative spectrum with different severity, thus why it may have similarities and could even overlap which will be harder to tell which belongs to what. That being said, the similarities with these two would be: some level of identity separation/disconnection, has normal and emotinal amnesia, automatic responses by dissociating to keep oneself from danger, and some inconsistencies with yourself.

The difference settles on the severity, how its triggered, and what related symptoms are commonly associated with the disorder.

As a bpd holder i can clearly tell apart which is from the disorder or not; you will have some sense of alternation, with this it won’t be as bad and you are aware that it’s part of you (which not always the case for did) + it doesn’t necessarily involve a shift in age, worldview or how you see yourself physically and more limited to states, percievings, and feelings. The critics are also in first-person for e.g. “this is so fricking stupid of me to say __ before, why did i do that???” That won’t apply to did.

Thats for one, though i want to keep it short so in general i want to say that bpd is from “idk which version of me is the actual me and i have a hard time finding and sticking to an authentic one” while did is “idk who i am and i thought i like this which turns out untrue after a few hours and i barely have got a sense of myself which makes me get stumped whenever i got asked something” kind of thing.

Things that are more bpd related: have struggles maintaining relations, mood swingy, fear of abandonment, emotional impermanence, anxious, very susceptible to amygdala hijacking

Things that are more did related: shifted sense of time, significant memory gaps, problems with memory consolidation and recall, frequent dissociation, feeling out of body, feeling not like yourself, inconsistent preferences

I cannot vouch if this is a yes or no about the question, coming from a system myself. So i hope you can do a bit more digging and use my insight to further help you, also feel free to contact me via DMs if it’s stull confusing. For now, i advice you to read more resources and take my words into account,

See you later!

- j

[coolbeansbuddyofmine]

Helurrrr

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

yasmeanie <3,

well, i'll get to it then. the rainbow is answered so i'll just do the other two! i will /try/ to be concise but again, no promises.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

considering who's asked this question, i suppose the fun answer would be vibes. and i guess that encapsulates what is the most important part to me---the mood, the tone, the themes they just need to feel right to me. i personally enjoy writing more emotional, character study-esque, introspective fics which is partially from my literature background in literary analyses. don't get me wrong, plot and characters and world-building is fun and all, but i think the emotional crux of the fic is most important to me which is why my tags are less technical or setting-based, and more like 'angst' or 'hurt/comfort' which tends to deal with the emotional gravitas of the work.

i think part of this is done through figurative language, so language is important to me. i think, first and foremost, i'm a poet and that translates to my prose and my fics, which tend to be more poetic, metaphorical filled with grandeur; purple prose if you will.

so yay emotions!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

oh fun!

so i have adhd and ive been working on multiple projects at once (as per usual, typical coolbeans honestly)

and here are the final chapters of my two favorite unfinished multichaps currently (with blurbs!)

so this is chapter 8 of the office au i've been writing for f4! i'm pretty far through but im still sorting out some plot details and trying to find time to write it all!

so this is my uber-fave (and only) fiery priest fic that im hella obsessed with right now and i'm soooo close to finishing chapter 4 i just need to power through for a couple hours and i should be done.

as for my up and coming work(s), i have lots of fun things !

this is for my despised beloves strangers again the show i cant get enough and it ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it. i want to give my baby hara the justice she deserves bc everyone in that show did her dirty and i will redeem her myself so be it. i said fuck canon and redid the ending as i deserve to

this is lawschool fic bc i saw something on pinterest and was inspired. it's all fluff pointless romance really.

this one i've had in my reserves since december when i watched the show and i WAS obsessed bc my man yim siwan needs to portray more green flag cuties but i also wanted horny daebeom

these two are what i like to call my sister fics. they're the folklore and evermore if you will. the sidecouple angst in two different flavours. if you've read beware the villainess, the first is like where she finally manages to get him freed, a post canon work, and the second as the title states, is canon divergence and still angsty but more adultier flavoured. more hurt.

i love love yona and yohan from beware the villainess this is them in case u dont know they are my favorite grumpy saintess queen x sunshine wizard simp

i've been really into manhwas since early last year (honestly if u follow me dedicatedly anywhere on social media, you'd probably already know this) and i have some i want to write for!

love,

rosey posey <3 (coolbeans/ro)

link to the original post if anyone else wants to ask me more! i'm finally back (proper) for the better i think <3 ask me more things im currently accepting prompts <3 !!!

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

If I may, #1 ("Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?" - I am more and more curious about the technobabble you've been posting, haha), #3 ("What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?") and #18 ("Do any of your stories have alternative versions? [...] Tell us about them.")

1."Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?"

current project is a thasmissy fic (wait do people even know that portmanteau? ive just been using it. yaz/13/missy) set between revolution and flux. it's basically vault times but with 13 and yaz instead of 12 and bill. it's about coming to terms with trauma and coming to terms with your sexuality i think most concisely put. or in other words i think ive put it like it's about "the things we dont want to touch and the things we DO want to touch". heres the video i made of it last year for anyone who hasnt seen it:

this video took a full month to make and drove me almost insane which makes sense bc editing this fic rn is driving me again insane. just need to finish two more scenes. one of which is the technobabble

it's really fun to do but also takes soooo much time. my favourite tardis wiki page is the tardis components one so im on that a lot, and then ive got a thousand wikipedia pages open about philosophical, linguistic and mathematical concepts and then i try to put words together in a way thats at least superficially a little bit convincing

it's completely incoherent of course but it sounds fun. my browser history looks like this now:

no idea what any of those things actually are <3

3 "What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?"

honestly i dont think i have a lot of those? i think generally my writing process is just that i write the scene i want to write, and either that turns into the whole fic, or i combine it with other scenes i wanted to write and shuffle then all around for a long time until it resembles something like a story. who needs set up? just jump into the medias of res babey

18 "Do any of your stories have alternative versions? […] Tell us about them."

full stories probably not or maybe there were but i dont remember now. but theres a lot of scenes with alternative versions in this thasmissy fic bc i had to puzzle and recut and rewrite a lot until it made the least bit of sense due to aforementioned "shuffle around until it resembles a story" approach

theres one scene where there was a really clear fork in the road where first i went down one route and then i was like 'oh no i cant do this, it breaks the relationship beyond what i want it to' so i had to go back and take the other path. im still fond of that alternative scene because it was also an interesting one i think

it's a scene between yaz and missy and in the cut version yaz said/did something that sort of cemented their dynamic as an echo of what my interpretation is of vault times thoschei, ie that the doctor keeps the master trapped. half physically half emotionally. because i think the master could leave, the vault or 13's tardis in this fic, but emotionally it's more complicated than that. the power the doctor has over them is that they want the doctor's love, especially missy is super overtly driven by that. the master always is but missy is unashamed and almost unresentful of it i think. missy will say "love me" out loud, basically. "i need my friend back" you know?

and what i had yaz do put missy in that same kind of position she is wrt the doctor. and they both immediately realised that and missy was like "youre just like her" and yaz was like "oh shit i fucked up". it's an interesting scene i think because being like the doctor is what yaz wants, right? and being like the doctor is why missy is drawn to her. but yaz doesnt want to replicate the relationship dynamic of the doctor and the master. she wants to be like the doctor but she also has that I Can Fix Her instinct. and i think with missy that is way more important because missy doesnt need another doctor (even though she also wouldnt be interested in someone who wasnt a little bit the doctor, you know? hi clara. i think 12/missy/clara and 13/dhawan/yaz are like two sides of the same coin. the companion a mirror to both the doctor and the master)

[cherrylight]

hey. uh, sorry about this post... i dont mean to like post vents a lot recently, but things just been so difficult and hard for me to even talk about and then i get so scared that im going to be judged or hated... its been a lot. so. im sorry in advance.

this post is very long btw

hi, not sure where to really begin with this but i guess its better to just say it and let it be said then not i suppose...

summer is usually the worst season for me in general, i hate summer anyway so no surprise. so im sorry for not being up to par on being happy-go-lucky or whatever, i try to do things to help myself and be like ok, i can handle it. i can take that for a while. but theres only so much i can take before its overbearing to a point it wont quit.

im not good at explaining myself so ill try to keep this as concise as possible.

i suffer way too much from social isolation and sure, i try to talk to people and i try so *so* hard to like throw myself out there, but its difficult and im scared on messing up and making a huge fool of myself. its gotten progressively worse and mentioning it to someone only added to the feeling of feeling like a complete chore to even interact with . . .

im like the most socially anxious person you could ever meet but i would do absolutely anything to socialize with others and be friends with people if it wasnt for the multiple negative experiences ive had during my life.

this goes hand in hand with the fact i want to talk about my own things, but fear of being judged and hated upon heavily affects me. theres a lot of things i want to share on this blog, but i cant out of fear of talking way too much or its just unnecessary information or its not what everyone was here to see i guess . . . which is stupid, i know.

i am not good at like expressing myself or my interests at all, but i get so excited upon talking about them and then in return the excitement is unrequited (majority of the time), sometimes it is and im so *so* utterly grateful for that because it means the absolute world to me.

tldr because im talking a lot: social isolation is a bitch and it has affected me my entire life to a point of feeling chronic loneliness, i want to talk about my interests with excitement but i have a lot of fear upon doing so. i just want to enjoy myself and not feel like a chore on a daily

to add: this isnt on selfship almost at all, i feel like i can actively talk about it and enjoy it a lot, i just have so much fear of being weird or odd and what ive stated earlier does not help

again, sorry for the long post and sorry for constantly venting lately. my brain feels like its in a constant fog and ive stared up at the ceiling like multiple times today

hopefully things will get better ... hopefully

[doctor-says-im-alright]

Im having this issue, but Ive come back full circle into seeming aggressive. It works better and great for about 3/4 of the population, and the other 1/4 absolutely disastrous, but that quarter is loud and really freaking mean and cruel.

But there is relics of trying to be gentle/indirect with speech and not get bullied in how I talk and somehow that STILL results in it, because they dont know what Im saying or something so walk right over me.

My vote is remain direct/blunt/concise I think it works best for the most amount of people, and cant be argued that what you said doesnt make sense because its as direct (re: aggressive to some people) as possible. I think theres more respect to be had in it, or more chance. Ive also learned the MORE you say, the more info you offer, the worse it can be for you

This is also an issue in person, which is mainly what Im referring to. The best I have for typing is seeming like you dont care at all about the people in the argument or the argument itself. i dont know how to explain it and im not good at it myself but when i see people do it it seems very effective. Maybe like having no passion in the argument, not caring for really what happens further, doesnt even matter who youre talking with. Not directing any statement at anyone or anything

Theres a ryan reynolds quote or something that was him talking about how he didnt care to argue anymore and if someone says 2+2=5 then good for them have a good day.

The song and dance of being autistic is pretty much:

Your default typing tone is too aggro.

So you tone it down a lot out of fear of being misconstrued! You put a lot of exclamation points! And smiley faces :) To show you mean no harm. And you also :( Apologize and use frowny faces :( a lot when people inevitably misunderstand you!

But then you're being manipulative by apologizing too much. Well, fuck. Okay so you start typing a little more casual, bc that shows you are just sort of saying your thoughts, you know, nbd-

Oh, you're getting misunderstood more. People don't know what you're saying. Okay. So, I am going to really overexplain every single word I type, because I want there to be no doubt as to whether I mean (X) when I say (X)! Yeah, so, when I said "I ate waffles for breakfast this morning," what I meant is that I had waffles for breakfast this morning, okay? I'm not sure if you know but I like waffles, so-

Fuck! Now I'm "condescending." Okay. "Okay, so, new friend? I have to admit, I get misunderstood by people a lot, so I want to know how I can talk best to you. Like, should I use tone indicators or something?"

And now I'm making things too complicated, calm down, it's not that serious, I would NEVER misunderstand, promise. "Oh, okay, thanks friend! That really means a lot to me, you know, I appreciate that we can just talk about things straightforwardly. So, I'll tell you what I mean, okay? So I wanted to tell you that I REALLY liked this art you made, it was incredible, I really liked the colors!"

Annnd now I sound "insincere" and at this point I just realize there is no winning sometimes

[madafact]

nope

ill try to be concise and add as much detail as possible

sometimes writing can be a cover to a book that is about to be written, read, burned, or put down

my brother anthony john masters died on june 10th or 11th i cant remember, the days post have zero anchors or even dates. mostly just a sense of disbelief, and the need to still have to put on clothes, smile and get hair cuts and shit, ya know life bullshit, the stuff that doesnt fucking matter after you lose what you really have in this odd plain we occupy.

my first notice was a photo of his beautiful body being held captive by a hospital bed and three not even complete sentences,

"bicycle accident. head trauma. will be in for seven days"

this was sent by my most eloquent father, who will not hesitate to mention he is a writer who has a vocabulary that could sink the titanic.

how we communicate, to me, shows me the level of respect, admiration, reverence and connection you feel to someone. Ill let you connect those dots. but i will give you a hint at the ending, anthony died. and all the anger, disrespect, lack of trust was the missing words in the first transmission. i think ive said it before but my father does not like me nor does it seem he has any interest in knowing who i am. but this isnt about me

anthony was conscious for the first few days and the prognosis was picking up like the wind. the sun seemed to be parting the clouds and what seemed like just another 'slam at the park' was going to be in the rearview mirror. but ya know, another front moved in on it began to rain.

i have been well informed just how prickly of a cactus new york city can be, and if you dont respect the idea, then you become the grease that turn the wheels of incompetence. it seems incompetent doctors, nurses and medical staff cut anthonys life short. more on that later.

i arrived at the hospital to late to see my brother still squirming in this world and he let me know just what he thought of my tardiness. im trying to open the ICU doors (which open not by handle, but by button, and once initiated, do not stop not even for a 500 lb gorilla. my welter weight body was absolutely brushed aside, sat on my ass with a broken nose and blood, thanks ant, you loved a good board to the face or some shit like that.

anyway he was gone, his body was warm, in a failed attempt i tried to climb into his bed and kinda just spread over him like butter, backside stil moist from his path through life. i touched his chest, kissed his forehead, held his hands examined his post humous face, and went as far as to cut lochs of his beautiful hair for safe keeping, for as many years as i have left. he truly was a beautifully built creature, tats and all, scars, broken bones, off set nose and all. but when i got there, all that started its slow process of fading slowly, then quickly, and soon into ash.

even having him in my arms wouldnt let reality in. shock will be my blanket for the coming winter and it looks to be particulary brisk this season. it still hasnt set in. even after gallons of tears, thousands of racing thoughts, a landscape of sweaty palms and not much rest or fuel. its starting to take a toll. i showed up to a memorial for him a day early today. cold sores are tilling my lips and a general sense of seeking shelter on a partiulary blustery day is my commute to work these days.

the lochs of hair were for me but ya know, as soon as people see you getting something, they want it too. it wasnt supposed to be for everybody, its supposed to be for the ones who seized the opportunity. me.

but ya know find grace and share. even though...what ever.

i maybe spent 40 minutes to an hour with his physical form before the next step had to begin. the state makes money on beds, and once you dead, you out da bed. he was just another stat, another pair of pants to check for loose change and maybe an unspent bill or two. and they wanted us out to begin the search.

fuck the state, and those who tow its nets across the ocean floor decimating everything in its path to catch a few prizes and waste a whole host more souls.

fuck new york

fuck california

fuck me

so i guess thats the end of the experience, but it is only the beginning of the angelification of my brother. the people he affected, the tone (for lack of a better word) he set, the wake he created and the stories that will outlive him.

his chosen family was a mega group of friends made around the college years, fostered across both coasts and eventually planted in bay shore or point pleasant new jersey. a wonderful family of young and old. similiar age and even multiple species. but little was i aware, this was only a small portion of the spiders web. he had been very busy spinning intricate patterns that in the morning light and dew would mesmorize people. moths to flame but this was a bit more of like a cozy fire or even perfect coals to prepare food over.

california, new jersey, new york, mexico city, colorado, oregon, washington, and im probably forgetting a whole host, or just havent found out about the other places. multiple ceremonies were held for him, and are still being planned for future dates, future surf trips, future joy and happiness.

he truly went after being part of peoples love for life. he was a one way street to positive town. it took many forms, tropical mental attitude, tony masters association, boistrous, gregarious, know only for hug not handshakes.

the ceremony we held in the immediate day after was located in new jersy at the beach with more surfboards and beach toys than the coast could imagine. we were even granted passed past the usual, permits, rules etc. for a day, anthony has the bay head cops in his pocket and they nodded to his celebration while many local people looked around in an unusual jealous disbelief.

the waves were not typical for the time of year, the wind stayed the right direction, the sun shined ALL fucking day. all ages caught waves and hooted for each other. anthony was fully on display as his new angelic form. tending to the elements, playing jovial pranks and keeing safe passage for all. just like he always dreamed of. he had arrived. he had become that all powerful, undenieable indescribeable wonderful dream. the light was so bright i imagine. he must have felt the warmth. after all it is a very bright light that we must walk into.

im not even two days into the i think day 5 nightmare/ endless bummer that has no signs of slowing, callousing or even seeming at all acceptable. please help me find acceptance anthony. what happened to you was unacceptable but if your reward is the infinite, cheers dude

i think ill have to do this post based on emotional resources, because as i get to this point, crying in a coffee shop wearing sunglasses trying to stay low key. its not working. the sniffles are giving me away and my coffee cannot be sipped in a unrippled fashion. the hands tremble and my backspace button is just getting a workout.

so please forgive me as i collect myself, my thoughts, and look to the sky for the strength to even find reason to keep my foundation built by me, for myself to not come crashing down.

the crescendo continues..

[neptrabbit]

I love readin about your metas on hamgelica, they weren’t a ship I paid attention to that much but it’s really interesting to see the little things in their interactions. Also you’re an amazing artist and I hope you’re having a wonderful time :333

awww thank you so much Zyke!!! i’m just glad my incessant shitposts haven’t scared u away yet :’D I LOVE your art as well (and you’re also in Rusty Lake fandom??? AND Ace Attorney???? it was such a pleasant surprise when i discovered that)

LMFAO I’m glad at least one other person is enjoying my hamgelica shitposts! AND I’VE ALWAYS GOT MORE! *reveals twenty carton boxes under bed marked “hamgelica headcanons”*

i got into hamgelica mostly bc Satisfied is such a lit song. even tho it’s completely baseless historically 😂

I just love seeing smart women in general, & it’s kinda rare to see a woman who puts romance second and still thinks clearly even tho she’s caught feelings for a man (from all the unpleasant, unhealthy romance stories I was exposed to & completely uninterested in when I was growing up at least). I also love playful banters, and A Ham and Angelica seem like the kind that would banter with each other a LOT. it’s just fun thinking abt it. 

and overall? i feel like the girls from the musical haven’t been talked abt enough so IM CREATING THE CONTENT I WANNA SEE HERE *insert maniacal laughter*

LMFAO I SWEAR I WASN’T PLANNING ON MAKING MY RESPONSE THIS LONG my apologies😂 tyvm for the ask again and i hope u are having a good day as well!!

[killer-and-starfall]

first of all in the most genuine /srs way i can convey this to you these all sound so interesting, like im not just saying this to be nice. your OCs literally sound like actual published characters from the kind of media i would go out of my way looking for.... more thoughts below the cut obvs

for natalie im literally obsessed with that trope of a person who's running away from their past like thats the majority of my fictional blorbos, i desperately need to know more about what happened to them like why are they a ghost what are they running from (and you said "no matter the cost or who it hurts" so now im also wondering like, who stands in harm's way by association with them??)

for poet, first of all u mentioned that there are videos and stuff so i want to ask if theyre publicly available and also if youre comfy with me watching them if so, because my goodness im so intrigued. im so curious about whats chasing him and who's in his family, or just like the general lore ideas behind the SMP. the horrors are chasing him.... what are the horrors......... how will he overcome the horrors, if at all.....

for avery first of all incredibly valid of you for taking their name, thats so gender. and as a nerd for mythology of all flavors this oc fascinates me the most thus far because i LOVE gods i LOVE god lore. i cant even describe to you how exciting it was reading about them, like they own a CASINO and theyre called the ACE OF HEARTS and theyre the god of LUCK i want to hear everything about their lore and then some

oberon is another one who im naturally inclined towards due to the god lore. fallen god... why was he stripped of his power and memory... what he up to....... also is he in the same story as avery? (only bc theyre both gods, not sure if theres any other relation.) are any of these characters part of the same story or are you a master juggler who can create a million compelling characters in a million different worlds

for axel, im not a super fan of the mandela catalogues but i have seen a few of the videos enough that i think i have a decent grasp on the lore. does axel suspect that his sister is an alternate? (i think theyre called alternates at least, PLEASE correct me if im wrong because i like hearing fandom lore in regards to fandom ocs too lmao.) i need to know more about his relationship with his sister, when/how he started suspecting that, whether or not she really is his sister at all.....

im trying so hard to keep this post concise and even now im sorry if i asked too many questions and its overwhelming to respond, theres absolutely no pressure to loredump to me, and also if you happen to be up to answering some questions but not all then thats also fine (or sharing info i didnt ask about!!) and also if you have drawings, picrews, 3d models, or anything abt what they look like id also love to see your lil guys (gender neutral), if you dont want that stuff out publicly u can dm me them, but again absolutely no pressure i dont want to force u to share anything. im just very curious and i love hearing abt peoples ocs, esp if those ocs belong to pals/mewtuals

how much money do i have to bribe u with to hear abt your ocs. im willing to pay the fine please whatever it is

brother i will pay YOU to listen to me talk about my ocs. allow me to provide you with a sample of my wares aka some of my favorite children (opens one side of my jacket with several dolls strapped inside)

natalie macalistair - an angsty teenage ghost “””girl””” who is desperately running from their past and themself no matter the cost or who it hurts

aziel lockstone/“poet” - a traveling writer who settles down in the lepid grove on the coopSMP (collaborative story with friends we have videos and everything) after being chased out of town after town. eventually the horrors ensue as his family is torn apart. how far is he willing to go to find something (or someone) that will last?

avery laurier, the ace of hearts - an oc i stole my name from when i transitioned LAWL. the owner of serpent’s eye casino and the god of luck, who takes punishing the unfortunate malefactors who wander into their domain into their own hands when the other gods fail to do so.

oberon - a fallen god stripped of his power and his memory. he conceals his face from the world and himself with a bird mask and wanders through dimensions without a care in the world. at least, he doesn’t have any that he remembers long enough to worry about

axel finch - my mandela catalogue oc if you know what that is :-) axel is a shut-in who refuses to leave his room for weeks at a time because he’s convinced his sister was replaced by a demonic eldritch creature taking her appearance and identity in her absence. his parents don’t believe him and neither do his friends, but he doesn’t need anyone else to believe him when he’s sure he’ll eventually prove them all wrong with enough research and dedication

let me know if ur interested in any of these silly guys in particular i will explode about them in detail if u want

also thabj u for being interested even a little i might cry /gen