#those are the important things as long as i can get that stuff done it'll be fine lol

[risingsunresistance]

love the keyboard this desktop came with even tho it's gonna take a lot of getting used to (i am making So Many typos) but i think i might need a new mouse. i have tiny baby hands and this mouse is literally bigger than my hand, i feel like i can barely click it KJGFH

[brucewaynehater101]

Ok so ive had this idea stuck in my head for WEEKS at this point and i need to tell someone about it so im invading your asks

(ages for this au, id imagine Damians around like- 12 or 13 and Tim/JJ's like- 17)

What if a version of Damian (like from ine of the good happy batfam universes) was sent to to a universe with Joker Junior where the rest of the bats were killed by the Joker and JJ was never reacued and brought back to being Tim?

And Damian is like- terrified because he doesnt know where he is or how to get back home and then hes found by JJ.

And like- at first JJ would probably try to leave Damian but once he gets a good look at this kid baby brother, thats his baby brother- he would realize that he recognizes this kid. So he keeps him!

The only problem with that is the Joker. Now the bats are all dead (or theres circumstances preventing them from doing anything) in this universe so theres nobody around to stop the Jokers shit. And we all know that the Joker isnt above murdering or tourturing kids. (Id imagine the JJ of this universe has done stuff like that once or twice, but he doesnt like to. He's a smaller equally manical yet WAY less bloodthirsty version of the joker)

So JJ keeps Damian hidden from his "Papa" until the bats of Damians universe are able to find a way to bring him back home. In the meantime tho, Damians under JJ's care, and its terrifying, but at least he tries!

Now in my mind Joker Jr. is kinda like Jinx from Arcane with mood swings, visual and audio halucinations, so so smart but so so crazy and confused and SCARED and oh so close to finally snapping until he actually does.

And this boy that he kiddnaped rescued confuses the fuck out of him. Because Junior recognizes him from somewhere and he doesnt know why.

(I hope this all makes sense its kinda just like a word vomit lmao my lizard brain just want crazy older brother Joker Jr. [Also there isnt enough JJ content out there and that is a crime])

(Older brother JJ content??? Fuck yeah)

TW: JJ, torture, child abuse

JJ... Recognizes those glaring emerald eyes and scowling face. He doesn't know why, but it causes reality around him to pulse with uncertainty as it teters between JJ's world and someone else's. Someone Papa doesn't like.

JJ won't talk to them. He knows he's not supposed to. Papa will become angry. So Junior tears his eyes from the bird kid baby bat and turns to leave. A tsk stops him.

Another wave of familiarity crashes over JJ, but he doesn't know that child. He doesn't. He really really doesn't know him.

So, Junior should move. Papa won't he happy if JJ can't move.

Well, unless Papa is teaching JJ a lesson.

His nerves light up at the memory of cold metal tables, electric probes, and buzzing.

JJ needs to go, but that kid. He can't leave him. He also can't take him with either. He knows what happens to the kids Joker meets.

Junior would never disobey his papa, but the ever-present buzzing noise isn't a deterrent for bad behavior. With how often he's punished, it hardly matters whether JJ is being a good child or not. He's always in trouble. Instead, that buzz is a reminder that he can't be caught.

JJ is smart. He's clever and sneaky. He's also great at lying, even to bats. While he may not know why lying to the nocturnal creatures is important, he knows it's an accomplishment he's proud of.

He can hide the child from Papa! It'll be a fun game! Junior's little surprise.

Junior isn't sure what he's winning, but he knows what will happen when he loses.

Death to the bird and punishment to JJ! A great joke!

Though Junior doesn't know why the kid is a bird.

Oh well! JJ will take great care of the little bird. All he has to do is feed him and keep him hidden! It will be like all the other things JJ hides from Papa. He'll never admit it, but Junior thinks Papa is a little dumb. As long as JJ plays pretend with the older man, he'll remain unsupervised.

Anyways, JJ has more of a demented, childish voice while Tim is more analytical and serious.

Damian, to start with, doesn't recognize Tim. JJ has green hair, bleached skin, cut cheeks, and way less muscle mass. The behavior is drastically different as well (also, we're not gonna speculate any specific mental disorders for these AUs. JJ and Tim are considered different due to their characterizstions, but I don't want to put harmful connotations out there [especially since I don't have any relevant conditions to insert accurate and mindful interpretations]).

In this AU, the Bats are all dead. JJ did kill some of them, which drastically reduced his ability to recover and remember that he's Tim.

He didn't kill Damian, though. Tim also feels extremely protective of his younger siblings (Duke included). Unfortunately, they're dead in this AU :/

JJ oscillates between being terrified, peppy, silent, crying, and content at rapid rates. It takes several days for Damian to feel out some of the triggers.

The Bats from Damian's universe are trying their damned best to get there as soon as possible. Sadly, Joker finds out about Damian before then.

JJ, by this point, has bonded with the kid. That kid is HIS. He may have some slightly fucked up notions on how to show care, but he will not let anyone harm the bird (not even Papa).

So, JJ does his best joke yet. He kills Joker.

Only after killing the Joker do the other Bats show up. They offer to take JJ with them (particularly because that's Tim!!!), but he refuses. He doesn't want to go with his family. He doesn't remember them and he killed some of them.

He can't stay with them.

[brain-n-body-in-disarray]

What the h*ll is "basic hygiene" anyway?

If you're like me, you've been struggling with hygiene for a long time. I'm neurodivergent, I have chronic fatigue and chronic pain, so yeah, it's been hard, my whole life.

Here's a few tips that helped me or some of my friends.

1. Redefine "basic hygiene"

No, really. Redefine it. Neurotypical and able-bodied people will tell you all can of things about what is "basic" hygiene.

The rule is: do what you can. That's it. The rest of the post will be tips to increase what you can do. But in the meantime, just do your best. You're fantastic the way you are.

2. Time

There's two thing here.

The first is: find the right time for you. It's not always easy, because we often have obligations, and we're supposed to be clean at those right moments. It's not easy. Sometimes it "helps" because it gives us that "boost" we needed to start getting clean, but most of the time it's just stressful. So instead find the moment that works best for you. I know there's moments in the day when it'll be easier for me to start tasks that I would struggle with at an other time, but I prioritise other things instead for a reason or another. Try washing yourself then, even if people will tell you it's strange to have a shower at three pm. Who cares.

The second is: divide to conquer. You don't have to wash ALL the parts of your body at once. You don't necessarily have the energy for it and it's okay. Also it can feel daunting to face that long list of steps. A body has a LOT of parts to wash and clean. Really, that's scary and exhausting. So the solution might be to do smaller things here and there. Do what you can when you can, that's okay. At least you've done something, that's great!

You are also allowed to take breaks in the middle. It can help if you are tired, or if it makes you anxious.

3. Wipes.

I personally hate washing with soap and water, whether it's a bath, shower or just at the sink. It takes time, it's a lot of steps, and it feels horrible. I do it when I can, but I don't enjoy it. The partial solution is wipes.

Baby wipes are great, they're soft, some smell good but faint, some has no odor. You can clean yourself quickly without rinsing. And they don't let that terrible feeling on your skin.

There's wipes made for your private parts. Which is an important part to clean. Also wet toilet paper is good. (For private parts wipes, buy the organic ones, you don't want anything too harsh there)

Make-up removal wipes are not just to remove make-up. They do clean you face.

Don't use antibacterial wipes though. At least not regularly. They are too harsh for your skin, you'll just damage it. Also too much antibacterial stuffs just make bacterias more resistant.

Bonus point: wipes can easily be carried in a bag. Handy.

4. Charts and lists and apps.

Whether you forget to do it or it you have done it already, or you can't get motivated, or you can't manage to start washing, or there's so many steps you get overwhelmed, or you start but can't remember what to do next, etc., those tips might help.

There's apps like Habitica (it's the most well known but there's others) that help you building habits and remembering to do stuffs and making it fun (help with rewards). It's about general tasks but can be applied to washing. A friend also told me there's a pokemon app to brush your teeth but I haven't tried it.

If you get overwhelmed by the steps and get lost in the middle, making a list of those steps, laminating and putting it in the bathroom near the sink or in the shower can help you keeping tracks. You can even put a dry erase marker near the list to check what have already be done.

5. The "bath buddy"

If you live with someone, you can ask their help.

I'm not saying they have to wash you. Or maybe I am? A friend takes his showers with his boyfriend to help getting motivated.

It can just be your platonic roommate behind the door talking to you, telling you funny stories.

Having company can help start the task and make it more enjoyable which help in itself but also make it less daunting the next times. Having a bath buddy also helps if you get lost in the middle of a task, they can tell you what the next step is. They can also keep you on tracks and in the present (I know I tend to dissociate a lot in the bathroom). And they keep your mind off the bad stuffs (body dysphoria for example, or sensory discomfort)

6. You're never too old for "kids' stuffs"

Because you're never to old for fun stuffs.

No, really, there's no reason why you should deprive yourself of something that would make washing more fun.

Wash your teeth with bubblegum flavored toothpaste.

Play with bathtoys. Buy those little plastic boats and those little squirting animals. (Seriously, the fact that the only fun thing for bath for adult is bubbles is a crime)

The word here is "fun". Make the bathroom fun. Buy a shower curtain with cute elephants playing with water. Put adhesive ducks on the tiles. Make that darn room a place you want to be in, not just to distract you from the bad stuff but to enjoy your life.

7. Teeth. Oh no, the teeth.

First thing: as I said, you don't have to use that "adult toothpaste". The menthol contained in it can be sensory hell. You can use kid toothpaste, it cleans just as well. If you can't use any toothpaste try brushing without it with just water. You can also try toothpaste tablets (you chew on them and then brush). You can try mouthwash. You can try oil-pulling. The point here is to remove some bacteria from your mouth.

About brushing. There's different hardness in toothbrushes. If you're using hard, try medium. If you're using medium, try soft. If you're using soft, try baby toothbrush. If no toothbrush works for you, try a wet cloth, or your finger. Try using toothpicks to remove the remains of food and then use mouthwash.

If the storebought mouthwash doesn't do with you, make it yourself. There's recipes online with essential oils (optional, but maybe there's one you might like), baking soda and water. (I don't recommend using lemon juice, it might damage your enamel.)

My friend just told me I should mention dental floss. I personally hate it, but it might be useful to some of you. It's probably more effective than toothpicks. They also comes mounted on these little plastic sticks if you struggle with the thread alone.

8. Chair

No, really, you have the right to sit down during washing. Buy a shower chair. Put a bench on your bathtub instead of struggling to stand up. Put a chair in front of the sink to sit when you brush your teeth.

You don't have to be physically disabled to use a chair to wash. And if you're disabled there's still no shame. Standing up can be boring, it can be painful, it can be tiring. So sit. You are allowed.

And if you prefer standing, do. You can pace. You can dance. You can do gymnastics. (Just be careful if you're brushing your teeth, okay. Or if you're in the shower. Don't hurt yourself.)

9. Music

If you don't have a buddy to talk to you, music or even podcasts, anything to listen to, can be a nice way to help. They makes the experience more enjoyable. They keeps your head away from the bad sensory experience or the awareness of your own body.

I also find using the same playlist useful to keep track of the time I've been spending in the shower. I even time the steps on the tracklist, I know I washed that part of my body for long enough if that song is over, I need to do the next step.

Also, for me me music is part of the ritual. It helps me to get in the right mind, it motivates me, it makes the routine.

10. Multi-purpose products.

I've seen all those beauty posts about "layering". It's nice if you have the energy and the time, but no, it's not for me.

I hate moisturising creams. I really do. They smells funny, they feels gross and sticky, and it takes forever to apply. It's an unnecessary step for me. But I have dry skin (at least on my body). The easy solution is to use surgras soap or surgras shower gel. (Not just the "moisturising" soap, that won't hydrate as well.)

I don't just remove the unpleasant experience of moisturiser, I remove a step. I save energy.

Also, multi-purpose products help with organisation, there's less things to think about. There's less risk of taking the wrong bottle because you're too headfogged. Less chance of chaos in the bathroom.

I personally can't do that for everything. I'd like to have one soap for everything, but my body skin and my face skin and my private parts and my hair all need different stuffs. But I do try to keep things to a minimum, because the number of products can be quickly overwhelming. So try to balance your sensory needs with your organisation problem.

(Also, if like me you hate the feeling of moisturiser, aloe vera gel is great. It is a bit sticky, but in a different way than cream. I personally prefer that one. There's also the option of oil, there's different kinds for different skin types, even for oily skin.)

11. Japaneses know best: the bidet.

This one might sounds strange for some folx. Where I live, bidets used to be extremely common but they are disappearing. We used to have a bidet next to the toilets in our homes. Japanese toilets have a built-in bidet but they are expensive. There is a cheaper (but still not cheap) alternative. You can buy a bidet toilet seat attachment to put on your own toilets.

Why am I telling you about bidet? Because when you struggle to wash regularly, bidets are incredibly useful.

Toilet paper is highly unhygienic. Wet toilet paper is a bit better. Bidets, that spray a jet of water on your privates, clean so much better.

And they are easy and quick to use. You just press a button and you are clean.

If you have a vagina, it's even more important, because it lowers significantly the risks of getting UTI and the likes.

If you can afford it, I recommend it.

12. The hat, or "well, f*ck it"

You can fail to wash in time for whatever obligation you have. That's okay.

Just use the card "camouflage".

Greasy hair? If they are long, brush them and tie them tightly, and put on a fashionable hat. Or you favorite, silly, hat. Or just a random hat that your aunt gave you (you know the one, you wondered for three weeks if you smiled enough when you received the gift because you didn't want to offend her). Scarfs are nice too.

Other idea to hide greasy hair? A wig. They are higher maintenance, but they are good to have for occasions where you have to look a bit better or if you can't wear a hat for whatever reason.

About odors... Well you know the trick of deodorants and perfume. Not what I recommend, at least not alone. For once not everyone can stand their smell. Also, they aren't that great to succeed at masking odors. If you can, use wipes to clean your armpits (also the underbreasts if you have them) and the neck and chest area. It might not remove all the odors but it'll help and with some deodorant if you can stand it, you should be good.

About deodorant: you can use a dollop of moisturiser (yes, I know I said I hate them, but listen), it will help to stop the formation of odors but the fragrance is usually mild or absent. It's also less harsh than the usual deodorant. You only need a small amount for it to work. You just need to clean before (wipes should be enough)

13. Don't stew in your dirty clothes.

Try to change your clothes often even if you don't wash. Especially your underwears.

I know it might sound counterintuitive to wear clean clothes when your skin is dirty, but staying in old clothes is like wearing a petri dish. By keeping the same clothes on you, you also keep the bacterias that live on it and your body.

It's especially bad in some areas, like your private parts, your feet and your armpits.

If you live alone, or if you live with someone who don't care, don't put clothes on at all. You'll just stew in your bacterial crock pot otherwise.

Staying naked also has the upside of reducing the amount of laundry you have to do.

14. Use your strengths.

Sometimes it's as simple as using your other hand because your dominant one is achy.

Sometimes it's listening to a podcast about your special interest.

You're an artist? Put a whiteboard in the shower. Or, I don't know, draw your body, laminate the drawing, and color the parts you have already washed with a dry erase marker.

Your thing is to make lists of animals of Paraguay? Recite them alphabetically and make a song with them while you brush your teeth and wash your face and clip you nails.

Dancers here? Each movement you make is part of a choreography.

15. Aftercare.

Hygiene is immensely stressful and energy consuming. You don't just deserve a reward, you need aftercare.

It's okay to take a nap. It's okay to need to engage with your special interest. It's okay to need a hug. It's okay to want to be alone. It's okay to feel bad too. Have a cry. Be moody. Don't be ashamed of what you feel. Of course it's better if you manage to avoid these emotions. But it's okay if you have them.

And give yourself a little treat. Have a cup of your favorite tea. Put a shiny sticker in your "things I've done good today" diary. Cuddle with your pet. Read the Swedish dictionary.

Drink a glass of water and eat something.

Also, if you have chronic pain, like I do, take your meds. (My joints are always a bit achy after standing too long, or my shoulder are stiff after washing my hair)

Write an essay about why keeping up with your hygiene is a pain.

Do what you want and do what you need.

16. Shame has no place in the bathroom.

If you've read my previous post, you know what I mean.

I've said it in this post, it's okay to struggle, to not be perfect, or as perfect as neurotypicals and able-bodied people say we should be. Their criterias are bullcrap.

Shame won't help you to keep up to these unachievable standards. They'll just undermine you.

Also, it's okay if some of what I've said here seems unachievable also. I shared what helps me and some of my friends, but your needs might be different and that's totally okay. Maybe someone will make a post with tips that'll help more? I hope so.

Anyway, you do what you can and you congratulate yourself for it. Every step is an achievement worth of praise.

[wavesalwayscrash]

Hello!! If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your process for making backgrounds (if you have any process in particular!) They’re one of my favorite parts of the comic, and I’m interested to hear how you decide colors and stuff!

I sadly don't have a lot to say about this bc half the time i just raw dog the colors. I rely on complimentary colors (primarily orange/yellow and blue/purple, which is a fun secondary effect since Lain and Mariner are also yellow and blue) but if I want a very specific vibe I will often colorpick from pictures since I have a bit of trouble straying from my love of desaturated colors a lot of the time LOL.

These were some scene preps I did for a couple of later scenes! I tried to find some where I made a couple of moodboard pictures to get the vibe down but i guess i deleted all of those whoops.

as for drawing them, i don't have a lot of tips on the actually RENDERING part (i'm a very bad teacher) but here's a breakdown of how i generally draw the bgs in wac

bgs in comics are really an important aspect to me personally. the way I treat and approach bgs is to not treat them as just window dressing but instead treat them as an additional character. What is the bg conveying, whether it be a specific location, a vibe, or in terms of a den or a room or whatever, what can it tell us about the character it belongs to? I will admit I haven't done this as much as I would've liked to in WAC so far, but I hope that as the story progresses I can strive to put more life into the backgrounds. It's a little bit trickier since they are kitties living in a nature environment and not humans in houses, but I still hope to create that same sense of importance.

and I know backgrounds are often seen as "the worst part" of art, but I wholeheartedly believe you just need to figure out how YOU enjoy creating backgrounds. I love drawing them! I used to paint backgrounds for years before realizing I hated it so bad. Now I prefer this much blockier style and I love lining bgs. I highly recommend just sitting down, and doing some studies of photos of landscapes, of cities, or whatever else you want your bgs to be. appreciate the little details, figure out how to simplify them for yourself, think about the big picture of things, and it'll go a long way.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Derin, you once said that posting consistently in a web series is very important for the growth of audience. But how do you keep yourself motivated to create stories on schedule? Whenever I try to do it, I just lose motivation and get stressed out or bored with my project

My answer is to have a big buffer. I aim to have a buffer of at least one year's worth of chapters. That way, I can take a month or two off every now and then to avoid burnout. It is also far, far less stressful. Not having a buffer is the most stressful thing a writer can do, do not do that.

So far as long-term sticking to projects goes, there's a few skills involved here and all of them involve a lot of practice. The first thing is what I call the Shiny New Fruit problem. This is something you see pretty much every newbie writer doing -- they get a great idea for a story, they know how it's gonna start, they have a cool premise and a twist that's gonna BLOW EVERYONE'S MIND, it'll be great! They start writing! Their first chapter is cool and unique and full of promise, and they get great feedback, and they move onto the second chapter and it's also great, and...

Quite quickly, they run out of "great chapters". Most of the time, the start of your story is low hanging fruit, so far as writing goes -- it's where you get to introduce all your cool concepts and you're not weighed down by anything established yet and all the Cool Stuff That's Gonna Happen is still in the future, it's your perfect imagined version of it and not the (usually worse) version that ends up on the page. Then you run out of low hanging fruit, and it gets slower and harder, and you have to do a lot more actual work and it doesn't feel so new and exciting any more, and a newbie writer thinks, "oh, this isn't as fun, the story feels more boring to write, that part didn't come out as well as I'd hoped -- this story must be bad". And sometimes they might give up right away. Or instead they might continue... but they're distracted, because solving the issue of how to get those two guys out of prison in chapter 6 just gave them the BEST idea for a different story, it's gonna be so much better, the characters are great and they can already feel the words pouring out of them and...

So they run off to pick the low-hanging fruit for their new story, and before they know it, they have nine unfinished stories on their hard drive and not a completed story to their name.

Every writer will get distracted and enthused about new ideas for projects. This isn't a newbie problem. The newbie problem is letting them tempt you away from the viable projects you're already working on so that nothing gets done. My solution to this is very simple -- I am not allowed to write my future projects until I finish my current one. This way, all that enthusiasm for the future project is transmuted into motivation for the current one -- I can write that cool story about a bug alien who adopts and astronaut but first I have to push through the slow part of this story and get this story finished. This has always worked really well for me.

The second reason that you might lose motivation for a story you're working on is that the story is indeed bad, or at least, the version of it incubating in your mind isn't ready yet. The problem with this is that every story feels bad when you're bored or frustrated with it, and it takes a lot of practice to tell the difference between a genuine dud idea and one that your brain is lying to you about because it wants to play computer games instead. My advice on these is to push through anyway -- it almost certainly isn't a dud idea, and if it is, you'll learn way more by completing it than abandoning it.

The third reason is burnout. Now, it's important to note that everyone is bored and frustrated with their stories sometimes. I got sick of writing space intrigue and took a month off to play Subnautica (I could afford to do this with no stress because of my massive chapter buffer), then came back when I felt like it -- that isn't burnout. I've procrastinated for weeks before because I'm up to a really complicated scene with a lot of emotional beats and new information and it's hard to write so I don't wanna -- that isn't burnout. Burnout is what you get when you don't manage these things properly for way too long and grind your brain to paste. I have a lot of tips for avoiding burnout, but they'd take a long time to explain, so all I'll say here is that learning to recognise and avoid burnout is a skill that you will gain with experience.

The fourth reason that people get bored and frustrated is that writing is a skill, and it's a lot harder to do than it looks. Writing when you're not in Full Inspiration Mode is exhausting. It's difficult. It almost always looked worse on the page than you expected; your favourite authors do so much better than this, why doesn't your work look like theirs? It's just words! You know words!

This one trips a lot of newbies up, because in Full Inspiration Mode, writing is easy. someone can have five chapters pour out of them in that mode, and then look at their page two days later and go, "huh, writing is so much harder today". then they'll call that "writer's block" (that is NOT writer's block) and decide to write again when they "feel inspired".

Do not do this. It's a trap. If you only write when you're inspired, you will not succeed as a writer. Take advantage of your periods of inspiration, obviously, but writers must learn to forge ahead without them, because they're going to get fewer and smaller as the low hanging fruit all get picked and you simply will not keep up with a schedule relying on them, whether it's a web serial update schedule or a deadline given to you by a publisher or simply the desire to have a manuscript ready to pitch to an agent before you die of old age. The world is full of people who are "writing a book" and have been doing so for thirty years with almost no progress. If you want to finish, you need to write when it's a bit tricky, when it's a bit boring, when you're not inspired at all and aren't entirely certain where things are going. Fortunately this, like everything else here, is a skill that is honed with practice.

So, yeah. That's my advice. Have a chapter buffer, the bigger the better. Make sure that your writing pace is faster than your publication pace. Avoid these quitting/stopping pitfalls. That's pretty much it.

[ssixely]

What if I'm losing motivation?

That's normal! Or well, kinda? I've lost motivation a lot too (unfortunally), but always picked up back where I left it (just, one time I didn't n my excuse for it is my uncle's death).

But it's important to try your best to not lose that motivation. So here's some ways that could maybe help during those times.

(BTW I'M SO SORRY IT'S SO LONG, I DIDN'T WANNA SKIP OVER ANY POINTS N I WANTED TO MAKE EVERYTHING UNDERSTANDABLE)

Keeping things pretty, like your c4l0r13 list/tracker for example! Under this post is a screenshot of my september c4l0r13 'goal', n as you can see: it's got symbols n unnecessary stuff to make it pretty. You don't have to do it like that, but you can definitely make ur own layout, it'll help!

Look at how much you lost since you began (instead of how much you still gonna lose). Taking my numbers as example: I started at 62, I'm 57 now n I wanna get to 47. I still got 10 to go, but i already lost 5! Instead of looking at the 10, I look at the 5 n feel more motivated (n I get a feeling of "I can do this cause I have done this already").

Incase you aren't already doing it: scrolling through tumblr's pr0-4n4 tags. These contain very good motivation n often also contain very useful tips&tricks.

Write a list of "why I wanna lose" (do not skip any reason) n hang it up somewhere (or make it your background on your phone, homescreen is recommended if you don't want anyone finding it, or just keep it in docs/notes n open it everytime you lose motivation). It's a good reminder of why you're doing this.

Watch media that show how f4t people get because they eat whatever whenever. My most watched is supers1ze vs supersk1nny.

Adding onto the point above, you can also watch movies/series with different s1zed people n remind yourself everytime: "which one of these characters/people would I wanna look like". (To which the answer should be "the sk1nny one", obviously.)

Have some kind of bracelet (or waist beads, ect), preferably one that's a little tight but not too tight, n watch it get loser the more you lose w31ght.

Feel free to reblog/comment to add more motivation ideas if you have any!! Let's help eachother out.

^ Image is for the first point.

[gemini-sensei]

Thinking about single dad!Robby again @sensei-venus

He's probably so scared all of the time. At first, he was scared to hold his daughter but after a day, he won't put her down. If she falls asleep in his arms, she's staying there. He carries her everywhere. He read online that babies benefit from skin-to-skin contact and now that her mom isn't around, he commits to building that connection with his daughter. Someone finds him at home with his daughter lying on his chest and he's like "Be quiet, she's sleeping."

His friends come together to help him raise his daughter. The LaRussos give him some old baby stuff they don't need anymore. Sam buys so many baby clothes. The guys come around to build the nursery while Robby is taking care of his baby girl. Hawk and Miguel tease him a lot though. Demetri gives a lot of baby STEM toys and books because why not? That's important, right? Tory gives moral support in the form of telling him "Babies aren't that hard. Wait until she's older."

Robby just holds his daughter close and kisses her head. "She's not growing up."

He's so cute honestly.

He's also so tired. But he doesn't want anyone to take care of her but him, thinking he has to do this on his own. He doesn't realize it takes a village because he watched his mom do it on her own. Poor Robby. Someone help get him some help.

And Moon does.

Robby has to work, so she brings around one of her midwife friends on an unbusy day. He trusts Moon, so after meeting Reader he's okay with leaving his baby girl with them. He does check in a lot though. He texts a lot and Moon sends him pictures of his daughter and Reader, smiles on their faces as they have a nice day. It's a big help to him and he can get what he needs to do done.

After a while of working like this, Moon leaves the babysitting to Reader solely. She's all for it, too, happy to help where she can even if she didn't know Robby before this.

One day, his daughter is a little under the weather. He's apprehensive to leave her with Reader, feeling like he has to be there for her, but Reader assures him that it'll be okay. He's working extra hard for his daughter and she knows that, so she tells him to keep up the great work and she'll take care of his sweet little girl.

Well, when he comes home, he finds Reader rocking his daughter. She's fussy and red in the face, but Reader has it all under control. As soon as she sees her daddy though, baby girl Keene is ready to be in his arms. So he washes up quickly so he can spend the night with her. He knows he's gonna be up with her all night, so he gets ready for it, not realizing Reader plans on staying to help.

"You can go, thanks for the help," he says in passing, kissing his daughter's head.

Reader is getting a bottle ready, shaking her head. "What? No, no, unless you want me to go, but I'd like to stay if that's okay. You've had a long day, I wouldn't want to leave you two alone."

He stares at her a little stunned. He wasn't expecting that. "I don't wanna keep you longer than I should. I mean, you have a home to go to."

"It's an apartment," she laughs and checks the bottle. It's just right, so she passes him. "Plus, it's pretty lonely. I'd be different if I had a cat or something."

He chuckles and starts feeding his daughter, who is more than happy to drink milk. She's mostly just happy her daddy is home. "I can't argue with that."

If he's being honest, he doesn't want to send her off. He knows how it is to be lonely, those kind of nights suck. "Well, uh, thanks. I'd be a big help if you stayed."

Reader smiles and starts cleaning up. "That's what I'm here for."

As she walks to the kitchen, Robby can't help but hope that she'll be around for more reasons than just watching his daughter while he's gone to work. However, he doesn't feel like he can say anything about that. He has a baby from a one-night stand in a party bathroom, who would want him? He's a mess.

If only he knew Reader was thinking some of the same things. She thinks he's so hot, especially when he's gotten out of the shower after a long day, and lays his daughter on his bare chest as she falls asleep. Not to mention she's totally fallen in love with his daughter. She's so cute with her gummy smile and little face. She's so tiny and sweet, how could one not love her?

Now if only these two - Robby and Reader - could see they're in the perfect place to fall for each other....

[thegamingcatmom]

I've loved what you've done with the ideas that I throw your way!

Your writing's always great!

You're one of my fav writers, and whenever you update with your answers to asks on what the characters would think for things? always brings joy to my day!

Not an idea but a thought to a question that came up,

I've realized now that you've brought up kitchen use...and carmen mixing up salt and sugar cause they can't taste....

How are they gonna feed MC? like, is she gonna be fed take out? From your last answer to the ask, Tanya definitely isn't gonna want to let her cook when MC's attention could be on her,

But let's say Carmen, who wants to work on humaning tries to make her a meal...

I've just had a realization that they've lived for quite some time, and it's been a long time since any of them were people who required food and used a kitchen in such a manner,

Like, I assume they'd have been taught to cook within their time periods before when they were still humans growing up,

But also, how well do they truly remember those recipes from, say (carmen was turned in the 1700s? and tanya kate and irina 1000s?) so like centuries to millenia old recipes that they partially remember from their time when they were still human if they even remember at all that is (don't get me started on if they can't find the necessary ingredient for some old dish that they assume MC will love)

Like they don't eat human food unless MC offered and is watching them 👀 and they think it'll score them some points or infuriate Tanya(getting off track whoops) and haven't cooked for way way WAY longer,

And they technically could follow a recipe, but at the same time, what are the odds that one of them go

"I feel like this needs more seasoning, the amount the recipe lists honestly sounds like it'll turn out bland in proportion to the volume of liquid in here already"

*proceeds to add in a cup of salt to the stew or whatever it is they're trying to cook*

"don't want it to be under seasoned"

*dumps in half a cup of saffron and cinnamon*

"I used to make this all the time when I was human....now how much of this spice did I need?"

Or how some people go "measure with your heart" and pours in a mega ton of whatever other ingredient

And they wouldn't be able to know that it's bad or overly seasoned since it's human food in the first place.

Unless they actually follow a recipe for something or make simple foods that actually turn out edible.

Like MC is gonna either have take out, home cooked overly seasoned to the point that it's questionable if edible meals, old old recipes, or idk maybe like instant meals. At least until they hopefully give in to letting MC cook

But also like imagining Tanya at first trying to cook for MC to get her to warm up to her and maybe thinking she can try to gain her affections by feeding her her cooking or whatever, but it just goes no.

-📚 sorry that it's kinda really wordy😣

Ahhh, thank you so much for your lovely words! 🙈🥰

I love answering them and feeding my own obsession as well as yours, hehe. It´s so motivating receiving yalls asks, you have no idea. Whenever a new one pops up and I get a notif on my phone, this is legit me:

GIMME THAT GOOD STUFF. 😩🤌

.

Ahh yes, yes, yes-

LISTEN-

Take out? And risk MC getting sick from all that stuff?? Nuhu, not on Carmen´s watch-

(Kate would be all for it probs. Anything that keeps the hooman fed and alive is good enough for her.

...Until the hooman does get sick for the very first time. Tanya would banish the word alone, lemme tell ya.)

I´ve been thinking about that as well, actually. Quite often.

Like yes, I defo think they got some recipes that they´ve frequently cooked up as humans, especially Carmen. Yall can´t tell me that woman wouldn´t serve MC some Spanish cuisine like a true chef-

...If only she knew how. 😭

She used to. But it´s been years since then. I do think they kinda remember the things that were most important to them as humans, but it´s probs fading more and more the longer they wander this earth. In the end, it´s nothing more than an echo - still there, but just out of reach.

BUT-

Good thing she´s got her vampy brain. It´s faster. More capable. Stores information better. All MC´s gotta do is make damn sure those jars are properly labeled (salt, sugar, etc.) and we´re good. 💪

It might take a bit (like, 2 days probs) but, before long, Carmen will have read any and every book about Spanish cuisine there is, and she WILL work her way through every single recipe, and she WILL cook them all up, if it´s the last thing she does.

And, who knows, perhaps it sparks something within her? Brings back some memories from her past life? So she can finally make that Spanish dish she herself enjoyed so much as a human? She knows it´s up there *points to head* somewhere.

Like, can you imagine MC tasting it for the very first time and thinking it´s the best thing ever?? Can you imagine the LOOK on Carmen´s face?? If she was still human, you can bet your ass there would be tears-

.

Carmen: *sets the plate with her fav Spanish dish in front of MC, a somewhat anxious look on her face*

MC: *eyes it suspiciously, but then remembers Carmen´s nice, so she tries to look like she looks forward to having a taste*

MC: *looks up at Carmen*

Carmen: 👀

MC: 😬

MC, internally: 💀

MC: *looks back down at her dish and accepts her fate cause what is she to do?*

MC: *takes the fork and goes for a very hesitant first bite*

Carmen: 👀

MC: *chews*

Carmen: 👀

MC: *chews some more*

Carmen: 👀

MC: "..."

Carmen: 👀

MC: "..."

Carmen, thinking it sucks ass: 😰

Carmen: "What is missing this time? Or is it too spicy? It is, is it not? I swear I did everything as I remembered it, down to the very last ingredient-"

MC, finally deciding to put that poor woman out of her misery: "It tastes...good."

Carmen: "..."

MC, not even trying to hide her surprise: "...Really good, actually."

Carmen: 👀

MC: 👀

MC: *wastes no more time and dives right in for more, finally some good fucking food-*

Carmen, only now realizing what just happened: 😯😀😍

Also Carmen, two seconds later: 🥹

Tanya, in the distance: *betrayal, jealousy, indignation*

Also Tanya: *already scheming to steal that damn notepad Carmen´s no doubt used to write down the recipe for later use*

Kate, right next to Tanya: *already scheming to steal another indirect kiss...or perhaps try for an actual one, seeing how the lil spitfire seems to be in rather good spirits right now, hmm...*

Irina: *please hold the line*

MC: *still happily munching*

Carmen: 🥰

.

LIKE, YKNOW???

Carmen is too precious for this world. 😭

But ye, that´s pretty much what would happen. Carmen´s gonna make sure the hooman is well-fed so ppl won´t even think about getting her that greasy take out. She might have left her human days behind her centuries ago, but even she recognizes a potential heart attack when she sees one.

.

But I LOVE all your ideas, as per usual. The one with failing to purchase an ingredient because it might no longer exist in this mordern world?? At least not under the name they used to know it by?? PLEASE. 😭

.

But also, the one where they just pour stuff in like no tmr in hopes it´s gonna be the right amount and MC will remain standing?? PLEASE. 💀

But also also, I actually don´t think they´d do that. (Anymore.) At least not until they got the hang of it all. And, if they did decide to season it, then they´d start with something they´ve already made. Yknow, just try out a lil something. Nothing too over the top. Just a smidge. See how MC reacts first. See if she drops dead-

RIGHT, so-

I think they´d go strictly by recipe until they figured it all out. Lest they give MC an actual heart attack...

.

Right so, Carmen cooking is all fine and dandy-

...Until it isn't. Because once the initial joy over getting something edible has faded somewhat, MC realizes that she's bored. Terribly so. (Because, if it was up to Tanya, she'd be sitting somewhere looking pretty all day, nothing more, nothing less. Laying around works too, ofc. Works even better.) And also, she's never been one to let others do the work for her. She's very much capable of fending for herself, tyvm.

So, you can bet your ass she WILL help Carmen cook, if it's the last thing she does.

And Carmen? There's no way she's gonna deny her. She just doesn't have it in her. In fact, she'll be most pleased to spend some quality time with her daughter-in-law charge.

...Unlike her leader.

Nuhu. Impossible. Out of the question. Under no circumstances will she allow her troublemaker-

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😤

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😠

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😒

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😑

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😐

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 🙁

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😕

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: ☹️

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya: 😖

The Troublemaker: 🥺

Tanya, hesitantly opens one eye: 👁

The Troublemaker: 😔

Tanya: 😮‍💨

The Troublemaker: 😔

Tanya, sighing: "...Alright. BUT, I shall oversee proceedings at any time very closely-"

The Troublemaker: 🤩

Tanya: "..."

The Troublemaker: 🥰

Tanya: 🥴

Carmen, having watched it all unfold: 😏 🤭

.

Who is manipulating whom exactly? PLEASE. 😭

.

Okay but also Tanya trying to cook something up for MC so she can preen under her attention and praise, just like Carmen did?? And, in order to accomplish that, she might just go through with her plan of stealing that damn notepad?? Girl is desperate, lemme tell ya. 😭

But also, even if she did manage to steal that notepad, she gotta actually cook it too. Somehow, I don't see our proud coven leader being very good at following instructions (because she can do it ten times better). Especially not when it comes to MC, lol. They´re more alike than MC realizes, I reckon.

ANYWAY-

Tanya´s probs gonna take one look at that recipe and go like "Hmm, okay yeah sounds legit but no" and yknow, just put her own spin on it because there´s no way she´s just gonna copy someone. Especially when it comes to doing anything for MC. (She must stand out.)

(We´re not gonna talk about the fact that she still kinda copies someone by using that recipe in the first place. No, we´re not.)

She´s Tanya Denali, head of the Denali coven, and she will NOT rely on others when it comes to providing for MC. Not on her watch. She´s gonna use Carmen´s recipe and morph it into something that screams "Tanya Denali". (Only Tanya knows what that means, I´m afraid.)

OR, in other words:

It goes just as horribly as we all probs imagine:

Tanya: *sets the plate full of...something in front of MC, looking all proud and smug*

MC: *not even trying to hide her suspicion (and slight disgust) this time*

Tanya, entirely confident: 😌

MC, dares to look up from her plate of horror: 👀

Tanya: 😌

MC, realizing she has no choice if she wants to eat today: 💀

Tanya: 😌

MC: *lifts the fork to her mouth...very slowly indeed*

Tanya: 😌

MC: *closes her mouth around the fork*

Tanya: 😌

MC: *starts chewing*

Tanya, unable to hide her curiosity any longer at the chewing sound: 👀

MC: *some more chewing*

Tanya: 👀

MC: "..."

Tanya: 👀

MC: "..."

Tanya: 👀

MC: *looks up at Tanya with nothing short of agony written all over her face*

Tanya, quickly schooling her face into one of smugness again: 😌

MC, struggling to speak through her mouthful which she has yet to swallow: "It´s..."

Tanya, most attentive now as she´s looking MC dead in the eyes: 👀 "Delicious?"

MC: "..."

Also Tanya: 👀 "Exquisite?"

MC: "..."

Also Tanya: 👀 "Just as expected?"

MC: *finally swallows down her mouthful with great difficulty so she can answer*

Tanya: 👀

MC, who has expected it to be quite horrible indeed: "...I guess you could say that."

Tanya, who has never once doubted her abilities: 😌

Also Tanya, internally: 🤩😍🥰🥴

MC, on the outside: 🥲

MC, on the inside: *already plotting her grand escape from the kitchen*

.

Mistakes were made. Misunderstandings were born.

I MEAN-

Girl was trying, aight?? 😭

.

.

.

Tysm for another one of your lengthy asks! Whenever I answer one of these I feel like we're doing our own lil spin-off à la "Keeping Up With..." 😅🤭

Have a great day and cya at the next one! ❤️

[is-the-fire-real]

judío por elección (part 2)

(part 1.)

My wife and I started searching for a community after a lot of talking. But, technically, we were already looking.

After E died, S gave us charge over a specific set of books. He had told her that it was vital these books go to a synagogue. He preferred it to be a London synagogue. We had no clue which one.

Shoved in with all the different books he had, and we inherited, was ephemera from different synagogues--pamphlets from the 1980s and 1990s, booklets from the '40s and '50s. We started calling and emailing them about these books, because they were pretty important.

They're chumash with a publication date of 1898.

Problem was, we couldn't get any synagogues to respond. The one who finally did said that they had too many books and could not accept any more. They suggested that E might still be honored if the chumash went to a Spanish synagogue.

The community here, as you can imagine, is struggling. Spain has done a real good job at keeping Jews out since the expulsion of 1492. Most groups operate in half-secret: no website, or a website that hasn't been updated in years; no phone numbers. Half of the people we tried to contact never responded. Most of the rest couldn't support our conversion.

One rabbi from Madrid answered us. She made it clear that we'd have to move if we wanted to attend her group. This was expected and crushing. We're poor, disabled, and pretty well stuck where we are. But then she said that there was a brand-new community in a city closer to us, one we visit with some frequency. She introduced us to their leader.

I have the impression that A would be considered a cantor. He is not a rabbi, but he can lead services. He had a few questions about my wife and I's histories and experiences with Judaism. (Those experiences I'll talk about somewhat, but it's difficult to talk about meaningfully while also maintaining privacy, so it'll have to wait.) He wanted to know if and what we were reading. Then he invited us to Shabbat, which they conduct through videocalls.

This group does not have a rabbi, much less a synagogue. Several of the folks who call in for our Shabbat meeting live in a different city entirely. That person talks about experiences with Mossad. I want to get better at Spanish so that I can learn from her.

There's singing (as someone who's seen Ashkenazi services, the Sephardi tradition sounds amazing), of course, and because there's so few of us, A has my wife and I read sometimes for services. The very first thing I got to read was Psalm 23, which has always been one of my favorite works of art... which A couldn't know when he asked me to read it.

I said I'd stumble at lot. He told me to read it slowly in Spanish, that it's better to read slow and correctly than quickly and clumsily. He seemed pleased with my effort.

I was raised Mormon, and the entire approach to worship was very different, in a way I found appealing. My wife said it wasn't that different for them--they were raised mainstream Protestant, so singing and standing/sitting a lot were normal for them.

When we were asked to raise a glass of alcohol, we asked if it had to be wine. (We're bad Spaniards. Neither of us likes the stuff.) A said that as long as it was fermented, it was fine. One attendant had a gin and tonic.

The last time we celebrated Shabbat, we used gay-pride themed glasses and filled them with beer. "¿Qué tenéis?" we were asked.

"¡Cerveza!", which cracked them all up, and the ex-Mossad member talked about how the Orthodox she used to worship with would drink whiskey.

Setting aside the Shabbat has been, overall, easier than I thought it would be. I check HebCal to make sure when the candles should be lit. I do all my household chores throughout Thursday and Friday-daytime. My wife tries to cook as much as possible before the candles are lit, and we eat, talk, and do our video-call service with the community.

Saturday I set aside. I have to keep reminding myself not to work, to consider things done even if they look like they're not.

But onward.

Our little community is fantastic, particularly A. He found out I'm having problems with some of my IDs. He told us not to worry. He knows a lot of people who work immigration and he can help us go to the right office and navigate the Spanish bureaucracy. ("Byzantine" should be replaced with "Spanish".) He's answered all our questions and invited us to events about the Shoah and personally introduced us to people.

They were so welcoming, so open, so not-rejecting-us-three-times (but if you count all the rabbis who told us no, technically, that's more than three) that it shocked my wife and I. We talked beforehand about how the community might want to withdraw, and not trust new converts, given October 7. We found the opposite. Our local Jews seem to feel that our willingness to look at how the world is behaving right now and still say "Your people will be my people" demonstrates our sincerity in and of itself.

On the other hand, when we first met A in person, my wife made a comment regarding his personal safety. He admitted that there was a man in the room with us who's his armed bodyguard. He and his wife do not leave home on business related to the community without their bodyguard.

My wife felt a cold hand creep up their back when they heard that. I was not nearby--I was checking all the exits of the auditorium and calculating where we'd need to sit if we had to flee. There were "pro-Palestinian" protests going on that day and the odds were there wouldn't be any danger near us, but... but...

Several of A's family members are also converting. We will have to travel halfway across the country to a mikveh. There are many medieval mikvehs in Spain, but to my knowledge, there are only two which are actually in use. My wife says we'll have to do a road trip. I immediately think about how "one Sephardi and four converts go road tripping across a country where one of its favorite dishes was designed as a Fuck You to Jews and Muslims" would be a fucking great novel.

Would be? Will be. And completing this branch of the journey with a journey feels right.

Oh, and my favorite A story: he invited us to spend some time with him and his wife after a community meal. We agreed to attend the meal, but had to leave after. "We have a lot of dogs and cats," my wife said, "we have to return and care for them."

"We'd love to have you," he said, "but it's a mitzvah, taking care of animals. Do that instead."

Afterward, my wife stared at me in wonderment and said: "I don't think I ever heard that once in church."

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Purge March: Initial Thoughts

Hello everybody! Sorry this took so long to get out, I got more distracted by real-life stuff than I expected since the drop. I made the decision back on the night of the Amane drop to wait for the audio drama and give myself time to think, and I'm glad I did, because in my opinion, Amane's case is really complicated.

I used the audio drama translation done by @/muu_kusunoki on twitter, which I'll link here, I'll also be doing a lot of referencing both the Purge March (PM) MV and the Magic MV. This is still going in as my Initial Thoughts rather than a synthesis theory, but it'll definitely be closer to synthesis than normal.

As usual, I'll be making bolded claims and then discussing them. Let's get started!

TW: Many kinds of abuse, indoctrination, murder, animal death suicide

The person Amane healed WAS actually a cat.

Truly insane. I'd assumed the whole time that the orange cat was symbolic for a human, but it's actually genuinely just a cat. That sort of throws out the whole theory from Magic that Riyone didn't have a role listed because their role related to the falling stage light, meaning that the injury on the cat was staged.

...Wait.

I think it still makes sense that the cat's injury was staged. Rather than being staged because the cat did something inherently wrong, though, I think it's more likely that the cat was staged to test Amane's belief of cult doctrine. She knows she's not supposed to heal using medicine, but here's an injured cat, just waiting for you. Amane takes the bait and heals the cat (the good thing to do), and as a result, she gets punished. Tased, it seems.

Riyone is the one responsible for electric torture. Because of that, I'm going to make the claim that Riyone was the one with the taser in the MV.

I've seen a couple different posts floating around say that they believe this is Amane's mother. The most convincing piece of evidence I've seen is from this alleged picture of the storyboards, but I have no idea how this was procured or if it's legit.

I think Riyone being Amane's mother makes a lot of sense, though. I mentioned earlier how Riyone doesn't have a listed role at intro like everyone else; that's probably because, to Amane, the role is just "mom." We know Amane's dad is frequently gone, so this probably isn't him. Additionally, it seems like Amane may live in this house we see in the MV, and as soon as she gets home, this other person is there. It would make the most sense if this person was her mother.

So, based on that, Amane's mother (Riyone) would have placed an injured cat right outside of their house to see what Amane would do. Amane heals the cat, and that results in Amane being punished for it. Punished, in this case, for interfering with divine will by using medicine to counteract fate.

Being the flag associated with destiny, it makes sense if Riyone is the one upholding the torture related to the cat. The cat seems to be dead and gone later, too, so it's likely that Riyone "fixed" destiny by killing it. But, in that case, who's that other guy?

Gozake is responsible for the water torture.

Safe enough claim. It's right there.

Anyways, the important thing is that means the hand you can see here is Gozake's.

This seems like it's in the same house as before, which I've theorized as Amane's house. If I'm right, that means that either Gozake is her dad, Gozake has access to her house despite not living there (the most plausible imo), or that all the cult leaders actually live here and it's more of a shared housing situation. In any case, what's important is that Gozake was in Amane's living space and tortured her there.

For what, though?

If I'm right that Riyone was the one handling torture related to the cat, that means Gozake was focused on something else. Let's check out those flags.

"Discard vulgarity" just kinda sounds like not swearing at first glance. However, vulgarity is defined as a more general lack of sophistication. I take this one to mean something like, "Behave in a way that is befitting of the cult."

Gozake seems to be in control of the cult's image and what they say to the public or something like that. So, to me, I think this means that Gozake punished Amane for outwardly doing something that the cult didn't approve of. Could also be the cat, could be something else. From Gachata flicking Amane at the beginning, it seems like the torture wasn't limited to "big mistakes" in the cult's eyes. Anything she did wrong could result in intense punishment.

Gozake is the one she killed.

If it's one, anyways. I'm still not fully convinced that she only killed one cult leader, but that's doesn't matter at the moment. Right now, my job is to convince you that Gozake is extremely dead.

The biggest point against him is the fact that Amane's prisoner card in UNDERCOVER shows that her murder took place in the shower.

It's kind of hard to see, but that's a bathroom. Based on the other prisoners' cards, it seems like the location on the cards is the location that their murder/related death incident occurred. Because Gozake was the one who tortured Amane in the shower specifically, that's a pretty bad look for him.

There's also plenty of reason to believe that at least one of the cult leaders is the one who died. All of Amane's lyrics about how she was sorry, but now the roles are reversed, makes total sense if a previous abuser of hers was begging for her mercy against being killed. Plus, there's the scene towards the end of Purge March where she's twirling her baton. It goes from clean to bloody at around 2:17.

Notably, this shot is taken from between times it shows the four cult leaders up on the cloud. We never see them again after this. (That's part of why I believe all four could possibly be dead, but I honestly don't consider it very relevant.)

We already know that Amane's murder weapon is a pole of some kind based on her kill shot of Es in UNDERCOVER.

She also uses her magic wand in Magic similarly. The point is, we know that Amane killed someone via whacking them with a pole. That's what we see in the end shot of Purge March.

That person? That's Amane's victim. Or, one of them, anyways.

Amane may have had multiple victims.

Again, I don't know how much it really matters, but it's definitely possible. That person looks like they're killed in the bedroom or something, right? And there's the light on in the bathroom.

I've seen some people say that they just think the person (Gozake) crawled from the bathroom to the bedroom before Amane finished them off. However... why?

What situation would that help in? I'm under the impression that the door out of the house is the other way, so if the victim crawled to escape, they'd likely head the other way. Additionally, Amane is still a twelve year old girl. If there were a prolonged fight, it seems like it would favor the grown ass man. So, this would have to mean that Amane would partially damage him before he crawled, out of the bathroom but AWAY from the front door. That doesn't make sense to me.

There's also the question of what Amane's murder weapon is. Let's look at that shower scene again.

A clothes washer (I think), a sink, some sort of pole thing (is that part of the clothes washer? Or is it more of a vacuum or something?), and some conspicuous bleach.

A big question for me is what that pole thing is. Could that be Amane's murder weapon? Is it detachable enough to bring to the bedroom? That's really relevant.

Basically, I think there's two options based on this.

The pole is detachable. Amane hits the guy's face with bleach and he tries to crawl away, but can't see where he's going. She then carries the pole over to the bedroom and finishes him off there.

Amane uses the bleach to kill him in the bathroom, leaving him there with the light on. Then, Amane uses either that pole or a different one and heads to the bedroom, killing whoever else is there (probably Riyone, if I had to guess).

I'm honestly kind of partial to 1 now that I've written it out. However, there is also this:

This is Amane's associated image from UNDERCOVER. We don't know what it relates to, exactly; we just know that it's something to do with her.

I would... assume that this is someone in the shower, based on the water torture. However, when I first saw it (and I know this is true for others, too), I thought it was rain. The way the water drops fall looks more like rain to me. And, based on what we saw, Amane was kneeling on the shower floor. That means that it should be Gozake in the shower, thus invalidating the theory that Gozake crawled out of the shower before getting finished off in the bedroom.

Except, what if it is rain?

If it is rain, that makes this matter a hell of a lot more. Because, if that isn't in the shower, that means that someone ended up on the ground like that outside of that house. Possibly someone who never entered the house, possibly someone who never entered the cult. Who knows!

...Possibly the little girl with the balloon?

Obviously if that's the case, it's someone related to the cult. Still, the sky is clearly the same sky, at least. There's the same rainbow despite the same clouds. Plus, we see the little girl's balloon wander off later in the MV. Maybe something happened to her?

I don't know what her involvement is otherwise. I don't know why she's important enough to be depicted. Interestingly, I believe Amane is the only one who hasn't gotten the reveal of someone important's actual face in the second round. We've seen a LOT of people with impact on her life, but none of them have been singled out with actual facial detail. Unless you count the swarm of Amanes, I guess.

Amane has or expects to take over a cult leader role.

She sees herself leading the Purge March. She seems to place herself in a position of authority. This, I'm sure, also relates to a very complex self image she likely possesses, but the fact of the matter is, she's the one leading it.

If she killed at least one cult leader (likely, Gozake is so dead), she might believe that she'd be the one to replace them. We don't know if this is true or not; Mu doesn't know what happened to her surrounding any legal punishments or authorities or anything, so it's possible that Amane doesn't actually know what the aftermath of her murder would end up being.

Still, it's something to consider. If Amane, unchanged, returned to the world, she could very believably recruit others into the cult and continue the cycle.

Amane wants to be innocent, but she has changed the meaning of what an innocent verdict is.

Amane is pulling a Trial 1 Kotoko. She's offered Es a deal surrounding verdicts. That makes it much harder for us to communicate with Amane, because she changed what the verdict means.

Much like Kotoko in Trial 1, Amane's Trial 2 audio drama is her guiding Es through the discussion she wants to happen. She tells Es that she wants Milgram's forgiveness so she can turn it into the ideal world for her cult.

That means that, if we vote Amane innocent, she likely will take it as Es approving Milgram for her cult. That's obviously bad, but the other prisoners (other than maybe like Haruka) are hopefully not impressionable enough for it to be a problem?

However, I still do believe Amane wants to be innocent. She asks Es to remember her pleas for forgiveness at the end of the Purge March MV. We all forgive Amane; the question is how to tell Amane that we forgive her disobedience and we're sorry for the situation she grew up in without approving the cult's beliefs.

It's wrong to torture a child in order to get them to conform to your beliefs.

This is what Amane's story is about. The cult leaders tortured Amane until she was brainwashed into their beliefs. Amane insists that, just because her beliefs aren't the norm, that doesn't make them wrong.

Arguably, a guilty verdict could be seen as doing the exact same thing. We'd be subjecting Amane to audio torture, at least, given that we know guilty prisoners are bombarded nonstop with the reasons why people voted them guilty. She would also be restrained, and due to Kotoko's attacks, we know it's at least hypothetically possible she could get physically injured from it to.

That's obviously not cool. Don't like that part.

Amane wants to kill Shidou.

Amane warned us that Shidou's actions (saving Mahiru's life and healing up Futa) disobey with her beliefs, and if we don't do something about it, she'll have to take action. It's not entirely clear whether that means she'll punish Shidou as she was punished, or if she'll attack Mahiru to kill her as God intended.

Either way, it's bad news for Mahiru if that happens. It's been directly stated that Mahiru is in a critical condition, and it's possible that the removal of Shidou as her doctor could kill her even if she doesn't get hurt again. If Amane killed Shidou, it could mean both of them could die.

However, Kazui has also promised that, if he gets an innocent verdict, he'll protect anyone he can from harm. Kazui could take Amane in a fight (I forget where but somewhere it's established that Kazui is the strongest in a fight, plus he beat Kotoko who I assume could easily beat Amane), so hopefully Kazui will be able to protect Shidou.

That also opens up the door for a weird possibility, though, which is the case of Haruka. Given that, in this case, Kazui would be focused on protecting Shidou and/or Mahiru from Amane, that means that Kazui would likely not have time to look after other prisoners, such as Haruka, who's threatened suicide if we voted Mu guilty. Which we did.

So, basically, the whole thing's a mess and voting Amane innocent makes it much more likely that someone dies, whether that someone is Shidou, Mahiru, Haruka or some combination.

VERDICT: ???

If you couldn't tell, the last four sections are me deliberating on which verdict to give her. In my opinion, there are a lot of arguments in both directions, which makes it difficult to decide. If I was ignoring meta voting, I'd obviously vote innocent, given that Amane is a highly traumatized child and she killed her abuser(s). That's forgivable. However, given other circumstances surrounding the dynamics of her vote, I have doubts on if it's really the "right" move.

I think that with Amane, there's no good option. To be clear, I don't regret the Trial 1 guilty verdict. I've seen a lot of people saying that this state of no good options is a result of stupid people thinking guilty was right last trial. I think that an innocent verdict would just mean that she'd be like Kotoko is right now, believing that she's right without a shadow of a doubt. Milgram is mean, intentionally. They weren't going to give us good options either way.

As a result, given that I can tell a lot of people have WAY stronger opinions on this one than I do, I'm currently not actually voting. If the margin gets close enough, I'll probably commit to a direction, but for now, I'm letting the rest of the fanbase steer the verdict. I was fully team guilty when I was worried about Kazui getting a guilty verdict. With Kazui innocent, I'm much more open to the possibility of forgiving Amane, because that verdict hopefully won't cost Shidou and/or Mahiru's lives.

If you have a convincing theory or argument in either the innocent or guilty direction, please let me know! If I'm ever convinced enough, I'll probably start voting, but for right now, I'm honestly neutral on the verdict.

NOTE: don't yell at anyone. Do not insult anyone else or get aggressive when pushing for a verdict. This is a fan blog for a fictional series that exists to have fun solving mysteries and calmly discussing ethics. Please, have fun and don't take this too seriously.

[grxceful-ly]

Hello there! I hope you're doing good!

19, 21 and 29 for the Fanfic Writers Ask Game!

hii thank you so much for sending me an ask!! i hope you're doing really well yourself. you picked some good ones and this got kinda long, i'm sorry 🙇🏻‍♀️

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

i'm going to take this opportunity to say that something in me does not allow me to fulfill all the multichapter, long fics of my dreams so i mostly share oneshots. i wish i could be like "this is from my [insert title here] au from chapter 14!!" or something. but alas. anyway, this is from my wip sequel to the sabezra secret relationship i wrote a while back. it's almost done, i'm excited to share the full thing soon!

Maybe the Ezra Bridger who wasn’t in a relationship with Sabine wouldn’t have said that. Maybe he would’ve been a little giddy—like, wow! Sabine is actually touching me! And isn’t completely averse to it! Maybe he should have said something like that. Or just. . .smiled? Or hugged her back? Sabine still wasn’t letting go. His heart ached a little. He let his arms come around her loosely, his gaze stuck to the floor. “So. . .” he started. But nothing else came out. 

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

yes and no. i don't think i've ever had to delete an entire scene--usually i will spend a lot of time writing a scene or two and i hate it a little more than usual so i end up losing motivation for the entire project. this happens often. i don't like it.

however, sometimes i'll write a line i really like but in my heart i know it won't work for the overall goal of the paragraph or scene, so i have to delete it :( i mourn for like three minutes and then move on lol.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

goodness, the amount of star wars time travel fix-it fics i've written in my mind. that's kind of where they stay. but occasionally i jot down a scene that has a chokehold on me until it goes away. i was going to share an anakin one, but for some reason i can't find my doc with that in it :') so you get this scene from my vostress wip where asajj goes back in time. this is kind of a cheat bc i don't know if it'll NEVER be posted, but as of now too little of it is written to share much more than these snippets. also there's very little interest in a fic like this versus my usual stuff lol.

Her eyes softened. “It is more important to reject that power and preserve those things. Understand me, Vos. Truly. There is no power that can take away the pain you feel. No power that is worth it for a fleeting sense of victory.” She realized she'd put a hand to his chest, naturally drawn closer as she tried not to plead with him. This was it. If he should ever listen to her, let it be now.

and for a bonus, here's an 'asajj takes omega to meet quinlan' snippet that was just for fun and will never again see the light of day lol!

“Your jedi?” Omega asked, eyes lighting up, glancing from one of them to the other. Vos flashed a lopsided smile at Ventress. “I love when she calls me that,” he said in that smooth, unserious but oh-so-truthful voice of his. Ventress's eyes slid to him, then went up to the sky in feigned annoyance as her hand fell to her side and she swiveled to walk away. “Come on.” Unfortunately, Vos and Omega were making quick friends. He was the type to do so; always had been, and it seemed she, too, was eager to befriend anyone she set her sights on. A horrifying pair.

[burningthemidnightcityoil]

The biggest thing I find disappointing about any of the "official" sequels to Homestuck, is that... They don't really expand on Homestuck.

They simply add problems, that weren't needed, and are churning out solutions, that didn't matter--because the problems in the first place weren't needed.

My idea of a Homestuck sequel would be to have the world-build, because now we have that idea of the "world" and how it "works", but start from scratch (haha).

Make new characters in classes and aspects we haven't seen yet, or didn't see enough of (Mages and Thieves and Sylphs, oh my, Dooms and Rages and Blood, oh my!). Make new characters that have new remixes of classes and aspects we already know of.

Make new inner memes and repetitions, Homestuck is nothing if not repetitious. Have some actual fun with your sequel. I can't imagine the current stuff being Fun, not with what's its building from.

Say something new in the story, or say something old in a different way. HS is all about ridiculous bullshit all the time anyway, just as much so as its about serious shit all the time always.

Personally, I'd rather not go through SBURB again, I'd want to see how HS works without SBURB being the main focus--or maybe have a SBURB that is completely off its knocker and is impossible to play, as its background.

( Earth C is a perfect place for that )

There are, of course, several things that can be expanded and thoroughly explored that HS leaves open.

Throughout your life, you are going to have more than one class or aspect. I know huh? Its a thing we've seen out of the Adults that pop up in HS--they always have at least one more class and aspect, and are capable of performing those classes and aspects successfully. And this even falls in line with typical character dynamics on writing and comprehension. A 3D character changes depending on what situation they're in and who they're with. And with such, we can assume that HS is about your Core unchangable Classpect--Who are you that is you?-- But now, let's have another!

All your Lives are Connected Yeah yeah sounds like Utilma-Self horseshit. But there is clearly a thing to explore here; you are connected to yourself, throughout time and space. So even if one of yourself dies, it'll still live on as long as you exist.

The Afterlife Okay, we've seen hints, maybe, but now I kinda want to know how this works without Dream Bubbles. Dream Bubbles are a SBURB thing, and even then, its only sessions that touch on the Troll Session (Like the human one), who get access. And even then... its only for Players. Everything else is a recorded memory.

What's a universe like when it has its Gods? Its clear that when SBURB makes a universe, its generally intended that its players become its gods of that universe. So... what happens when that does actually happen, and not some tomfuckery coming along.

And of course, this is just the HOmestuck World-Build stuff.

You can tell so many different stories from this, from any variety, from silly to serious (And in HS's case--both). Hell, take someone off the street, throw them randomly at this, see how they react, that sort of deal.

And it can be done, without slogging HS's characters through the murk.

If the intention of the current "sequels" were to make things tired, dragged out, and not even fun anymore... Yeah congrats. The story worked as intended. So much so that I'm not even going to keep up with it.

That's how tired its made me.

ADDENDUM:

A lot of people, found comfort, relation, and personal importance, in HS's characters.

And what was done to several character, was a horrible, disgusting, and terrible thing to do, to characters that people found comfortable, relatable and personally important.

And How it was handled afterwards, whether it was staged or not, was A Shit Way to Handle It.

Occurring at a time and place in history where you Should Not Have Fucked That Up.

Because of this, I am not going to accept the "Sequels". I'm not going to accept any justification for the "Sequels".

As far as I'm concerned, Homestuck ended with Homestuck, a silly ridiculous serious webcomic that lasted a very long time and long after the time period it was in (To a point where nobody remembers what early '10s / late 00's internet was like), no publication attached.

[vyuntspakhkite-l-darling]

Take your time, only if you want to <3

HI yeah i almost forgot about this thanks lmao

So I've been drawing for a LONG time and I've gone through a lotttt of different warm ups and practices and stuff but I'll give you the current one because I've noticed myself improving pretty quickly with it.

And before I get into this, I'm just going to point out that none of these are actual studies even though I should definitely be doing those too. All the exercises I've been doing are about learning the feeling of a body, not the structure of one. I'd definitely recommend not being lazy like me and doing some actual studies where you draw skeletons and try to make realistic replications of references and things like that.

So this site, SketchDaily Reference Site , is my favorite thing. I use it all the time, whether that be for getting inspiration by looking through all the pictures, doing the occasional actual study and trying to draw it realistically like I should do more often, and for the exercises I'm gonna show you. I encourage you to explore this and other reference sites, mess with the settings, find what works for you. Anyway, now onto what I do.

You're gonna want to get a sketchbook if you don't have one already, because these do take up a lot of space. Don't get an expensive fancy sketchbook because then you won't want to mess it up and you'll be scared of drawing bad. Drawing bad is important, let it happen.

Then I go to the full body tab. My favorite settings are gender: all, clothing: nude, pose: all, view: all, not class mode, and either 2 or 5 minutes for time depending on how focused I'm feeling that day. I put it on nude because I care more about improving how I draw figures than how I draw clothes, but if that makes you uncomfortable, obviously you don't need to do that. Just as a heads up, even if you choose the 'clothed' setting, you'll still get some images that reveal a lot, but there is a button you can hit to skip an image if that happens.

Then hit start and it'll give you an image. When you're doing this exercise, try not to worry too much. You have to let go of wanting to draw good and just focus on getting shapes on the page. My best tip would be to look for triangles in your pose. I'm a sucker for a triangle. They won't be in every pose but there are some where it's just. Perfect triangles and those are my favorite because it really helps you proportion the pose. Draw a triangle. Put a guy in it. Boom. Do this until you have a full page or two of poses. The point of this is to get them down quick and learn what shapes make a person look like a person. It's really good for developing your style because you'll learn what parts you like to exaggerate and stuff like that.

When you're done with that, end the session, and go to the body part tab. Select heads for the part, leave gender and view on all, and put this one on two minutes. Hit start and remind yourself that this is your sketchbook and nobody's gonna see this but you unless you decide. Then caricature the fuck outta those faces. Find the big shapes, the characteristics that stick out to you first, and exaggerate them as much as you can. Some of these are gonna look really bad. Some will probably make you think, 'this would get me cancelled on twitter.' That's fine, you learn from it either way. Sometimes you'll make a really good one and then the next one you make will look awful and you'll want to stop- no. Squash that little bug crawling around in your head and keeping drawing until the page is full of heads of varying qualities.

I do those two exercises 'every day,' and by that I mean i want to do them every day, but it ends up being a few times a week and that's fine. Consistency is good but not burning out is better. I'd say just do this whenever you have the time and motivation. They're quick and easy exercises that teach you about shape language, flow, and gesture. I'll put some examples of things I've drawn under the cut. There are some boobs in it, not with sexual intent but there are boobs so be warned.

this was my first day doing this exercise. I think I was trying too hard to make it look like the reference.

After a week or so I started to relax and use broader strokes and bolder shapes.

It turns out I got the same pose a few weeks apart. See how the one on the left looks stiff, while the one on the right has more relaxed shapes? Getting that nice shapely look and finding the way you like to exaggerate bodies is the point of this.

This is one from the last time I did this exercise. I really like the shapes in this one. See the triangle?

These two were from the first time I did the heads exercise. Not the best quality, but they get the message across, I think. It's just playing around with the different shapes of a person's head.

Made this one about a week ago and I'm really fond of it. This was the first one I drew this day and the rest of the page was trash but I did really like this. I think the shapes are really fun.

Here are three I did a few days ago. I'm gravitating towards a more realistic style here, idk why my hands felt like doing that that day, but whatever. Heads.

[hangmanbradshaw]

Okay first off- YOURE AMAZING! Your hashtag made me sad because you’re not semi good- you’re one of the greatest writers I ever read - full stop. Not just in this fandom, not just on A03, IN GENERAL! (And I read 50+ books a year like the nerd I am lol)

Second: what advice can you give to writers struggling to find that creativity and that drive? I know you’ve always been a fan of outlining but what else gets a plot and foreshadowing like you’re an expert at all?

EWAFEWAIFEJWAI OH MY GOD You can't just say that??? That's so sweet omg <3 <3 you are way too kind to me.

ooh I love talking writing. Honored you'd want my advice. Hmm so I think I'd say here's my writing advice (coming from someone who is most definitely not a pro but this is my opinion):

write your passion. whatever it is you love, write about that. The love bleeds through the story, makes you want to write, etc.

outlines are so important, but I am a huge proponent of breathable outlines. Give yourself structure, but room to breathe and be creative. Hugely helpful in an outline is to go to the future chaps and make notes about things to bring up again so it builds right and comes full circle/is closed.

figure out the theme, what you want to say, what the heart of the story and characters is and what they learn by the end and use the hints to build on this. Every single scene, building block, etc is an opportunity to be intentional about this and form a complete story. Also everything can add to it without straight up saying it. The setting (the sun rises. it's a new day after a character lets something go, etc.) (in iwtby- Jake's dad leaves him to mend the fence on his own. symbolic as he is left to do that in their relationship as well. bradley sits by him as he does this. which he has done in more ways than one. asks why they're there. it's just overflowing with multiple meanings beyond the literal.) (also play with double meanings ugh they're the best)

less is more? subtle hints are the best, let it build to build tension.

write the story YOU want to tell. what speaks to your heart. what world exists in your mind. Do it for the pure love of it. And when crafting the plot/world, just think about a reader's perspective and what would be cool to see. It helps come up with cool structure ideas (i.e. starting with after bradley and jake met in iwtby with hints and at the very end circling back in bradley pov full circle. or dlp- big reveal? next chap switch pov and backtrack. the reader thinks they know what's going on, but it's limited pov and then you have those OH WOW moments. Write in ways that are ambiguous or *seem* to be something because again...you're in a biased perspective. And then you slowly reveal the full picture to the reader and the character.) (Or playing with then the reader knows something but the character doesn't. like in dlp I jump back to bradley pov and WE understand now but he still fully doesn't and as a reader you wanna scream at him.) (also keeps someone on their toes and the story from being stagnant, and you know I LOVE that things mean more or take on a different meaning when re-reading then and it's so cool)

When I'm stuck, I take a break or I sit back, close my eyes, and just let my mind follow the story for a bit like a movie in my head

there is NO boundary to it! Let your imagination run as wild as you want, throw the rules out the window. Any world can be believable if you build it right and connect the audience to the characters. Santa land? Sure! Can believe it if Jake believes it. Spooky island with def some paranormal stuff going on? as long as it makes sense, absolutely. There's no rules.

Okay! That was a lot so sorry if you didn't want all that, but I love writing and story crafting so so so much and I'm always so happy to talk about it or give advice if you want it :) write what's in your heart and it'll be amazing.

[l-egionaire]

You know what? Since I gave my ideas for Illvermorny, why not give some Quodpot stuff I have too.

There are 11 positions on a Quodpot team. 6 Chargers, 4 Runners, and the Commander. The Runners are sort of the equivalents of chasers in Quidditch. Their job is to move across the field and score by throwing the Quod into their teams cauldron. Only Runners and Commanders are allowed to actually touch the Quod and score points. If any of the chargers touch the ball, it's a foul, and the ball is given to the other team, as well as its explosion timing lowered. Chargers are responsible for trying to either delay runners or to knock the ball out of their hands so that the Quod can be caught by a member of their team. Commanders are responsible for scoring goals like Runners, but they're also responsible for making the teams plays and deciding what strategy to use before each move. If the Quod explodes in the face of a runner or commander, they're called off the field. The games over once all a teams Runners and their Commander are off the field, so often players try not to have the Commander hold onto the ball for long or make goals. Each cauldron is held on towers at opposite ends of the field and the players meet in the middle before each move for the ball, similar to Quidditch. Each goal is worth 10 points each.

Just like how football is considered more violent than soccer, Quodpot is a LOT rougher than Quidditch. There's lots more physical damage, crashes, injuries, broken bones, and players getting roughed up in general. Healers are on standby at all times, and it's not uncommon for them to rush out to heal up a hurt player. There's an unofficial record for how many times the healers will have to be called in on games.

Most non-Americans or people who have never seen a game of Quodpot think that when someone says the ball will "explode," that just means it'll burst with a small pop. But no. When the Quod explodes, it goes off like a bomb in the players arms and leaves them covered in scorch marks. To protect themselves from that, players during games wear armor overtop of their Qoudpot robs. The armor is similar to a Roman or Greek armor, with gauntlets, greaves, shoulder armor, chest plates, and, of course, helmets. The armor is always done to match with the team colors, with their team's logo stamped onto the side of their helmets. The helmets themselves are especially important as they're enchanted to dampen the effects of the balls explosion on the eyes, nose and ears. While it COULD be possible to make it so that the helmets and armor COMPLETELY nullified the effects of the exploding Quod and keep the players from getting hurt by it, as one teams coach put it, "that'd take the fun out of the game".

A Quod usually explodes within twenty to thirty minutes of being in play, depending on things like how many times it's thrown, how fast the player is holding it is flying and other factors. Players CAN choose to throw the ball before it explodes (they're only taken out if they're actually holding the ball when it blows) and some even attempt this as a tactic to take out opposing players by giving THEM the ball just as it's about to go off, but it usually doesn't work as most Runners train not to instinctively catch the ball unless it's thrown by one of their teammates and simply let it go off in their face.

Due to the potentially numerous balls needed, Quod balls are usually duplicated with a multiplication charm during the game so that they don't run out. For young children who can't do those charms, their parents take care of it.

[beauzos]

Potentially odd question but seeing as you're back in your SOBR era and I've enjoyed what I've read of your works in the past, figured I'd ask;

How do you plan out a longer story? When I do get past executive disfunction and find the energy to write, I often find myself intimidated by the sheer scale that something like a novel would require, so I mostly stick to short stories and the like. What did your first steps look like when you started working on SOBR (or any other projects of similar length)?

Not an odd question at all! I appreciate being asked and I'm going to try really hard to be helpful.

I was, for a very long time, deeply intimidated by writing long-form fiction as well. I just genuinely believed I was not capable of committing to writing anything longer than a 10-15,000 word one-shot or short story. Up until 2022, the longest complete piece of fiction I ever wrote was about 20,000 words. I also hated it, but that's beside the point. The longest unfinished work I left behind was 42,000 words, and I'd never come close to repeating that length again since I wrote it back when I was 14.

I think part of working on longer form fiction is accepting it might not get finished, and then doing it anyway. Basically, hope for the best, expect the worst, because if you never try, it'll never get done in the first place. I didn't really set out to write a novel when I came up with Beau's story. Like, I wasn't thinking about length or what it'd be, I just tried to conceive of what story I could do with him and how it might take shape. I don't know if I even planned on writing it, I just wanted to know his story.

With SOBR, I consider myself incredibly lucky, because I simply had a start-to-finish storyline within a couple days of working on it. Sure, a lot of details weren't set and many things could change, but I had an idea for the beginning, middle, and end to some extent. But you don't need to immediately have all your ideas for it to work, to be clear. I do think that having some idea of the full story is pretty essential to success. A lot of details can change, but if you have the overarching ideas, I think that helps a lot. I know there's a lot of jokes and memes about writers having no idea what to do in the middle or being stuck on the ending, but those really can be story-killers to be honest.

I'm speaking very broadly, I'll try to get into what I think my process was in a second, but a couple last minute things: you don't need to have a start to finish idea immediately, like I said. Something I think is important about the process of developing story ideas aside from like. Just thinking about it a lot is talking about it with other people. I don't know if you're the same way, but I feel like talking to friends / others about ideas makes it easier for me to clarify these ideas and develop them. Whether that's because people can give you ideas, or ask questions, or think about things in a different way than you or just being able to sharpen your idea by having to explain it to somebody, I find this super helpful.

It's also helpful because, like, okay. I've said many times you really do have to write for yourself first because that's true. All of my writing is written with myself as the audience, weird or specific or whatever it may end up being. But that doesn't mean that positive feedback isn't valuable or important to me. It's a motivator to know there could be a few people out there who enjoy what I've done. It makes it easier for me to think about my work and to work on it. So part of it is having to get over the fear of sharing, or feeling awkward talking about new characters with people, because my experience overwhelmingly is that people want to hear about this stuff.

When it comes to working on developing the ideas and outlining, I will say the very obvious advice: WRITE EVERY SINGLE IDEA DOWN. Even if it's obvious, or you're 100% certain you'll remember. Still write it down. I have a private server on Discord where I save links and pictures and snippets of writing, and I throw every idea that comes my way in the SOBR channel for me to either implement into the chapter I'm writing or into the outline. I think making these ideas concrete by writing them down-- not necessarily as a commitment but as keeping it filed away to return to.

The ideas become much fuller when you take every idea you have seriously to some extent. I struggled to make an outline for SOBR 2 but because I was taking note of every idea, I was able to piece together at least a semi-presentable idea for the story flow? It makes things easier and gives you a jumping off point. The outline is the other important part, of course. I used to never outline things, but for long-form works, you have to. You just do. Because you'll forget, or you won't see the full picture, or whatever. Figure out how all these pieces will fit together, how that scene you pictured way down the line can be reached in a natural manner. I had to connect a bunch of scenes from late game SOBR to the beginning, and although the details of how, exactly, I got there changed, I knew generally what path to take.

Insofar as beginning a project of any kind, I think just doing it without feeling compelled to finish but wanting to helps. I wrote the first chapter of SOBR to test out the characters and get a feel for the world and how I wanted to approach the story and its conflict. But although I wanted to see the story through to its natural end, I just wanted to get something done first. A little step leads to a big step. It doesn't have to perfect, it just has to be done. And once you get started, I find it easy to keep going.

But you also have to accept the possibility you may fall out of interest or the rhythm for a while. I wrote the first 4 chapters, or 30,000 words, of SOBR over the course of February to May last year. And then I didn't touch the fucking thing for four months. I felt awful. I was so discouraged that I would leave my first solid original idea behind and not work on it, even though the next chapter I had to write was supposed to be "easy" to write. I just never did it because I didn't feel the vibe anymore. But I still liked Beau and the characters.

Circling back to what I said before, what motivated me to try again was talking to others about the idea. Namely, when I started talking to some of my new friends, like Clark / @/twothpaste for example, who became interested after I started discussing some of the late game details of the story, I felt motivated because I knew there were people who wanted to read the story or wanted to see how things could get so far. It's motivating when you hear other people care. It's why I've been so motivated to work on reader feedback and publishing this year; because my coworkers cared about reading it!

Similarly, I had friends reading along as I worked on it. Clark, my friend Maggie are the main two, but I had other friends test out the early chapters. It was nice seeing how people responded and if my writing was working as intended.

In conjunction with this, although I very rarely ever write out of order, I decided to approach SOBR from a new perspective; I still skipped writing the "easy" chapter when I got back to it in September. Instead, I started from act 3 with some chapters I knew I could write and explore. Although eventually I had to change many small details, I knew what I expected from this part of the story, and got back into the world from an interesting part. I kept going for a few chapters, and once I knew it was going to get too complicated, I moved back to finishing the story in chronological order.

You have to approach your work from outside the box sometimes to maintain momentum. It's easy to get discouraged when you get stuck, but you have to find another way to make it work. Take months long breaks. Try from another scene, another act. I hate to do it, but it got me to actually start writing the fucking thing again, so I know it works.

I know I'm going beyond the scope of your question, but I do feel like the process of the middle parts is also kind of important.

To get back towards what I was actually fucking asked, I guess I can boil down the process as thus:

Discuss the ideas with others / brainstorm / write everything down

Try to arrange ideas into outline / overarching plot

Test out writing initial chapters; potentially spirals into fully writing the piece

Accept you may fall in and out of motivation; accept you may not finish it at all, but do it anyways

Keep sharing with people!!!! Don't be embarrassed or afraid, people want to hear about it!!!

I don't know if this helps much. I fear a lot of what I said is obvious advice, but unfortunately, it's tried and true. It's just putting yourself out there, being willing to try even if you might fail to finish it. And just keep thinking. Not every idea will make it in, but every idea can make the story stronger.

Also, like, I'm not going to lie. Having autism actually really helped because I became so obsessed with SOBR in September I could do nothing but finish it, but I tried to give advice that people can actually follow, y'know KRKFN I'm motivated by whatever my special interest is, but it's possible to write without that! SOBR started well before it became my special interest. It just takes more energy and devotion. Anyone can do it, with or without obsession.

After all, it's such a fleeting thing too. My interests can change rapidly, which is also why I was scared of starting projects. What if I got bored halfway through and dropped the project? In fact, here's an example: when I got really into Ace Attorney this year, I plotted out a long-form fic that I began work on. I did my outline, wrote a few chapters, got around 12,000 words in, and then I got out of Ace Attorney and back into SOBR and that was that. I dropped the project, and yes, I think that's a shame, but I also accept that that's a possibility for any project.

But it won't stop me from working on the stories I want to write. I can't worry about if it'll get done. It doesn't get done if I don't try at all. I try to remind myself of that quite often. I won't always succeed, but I never will if I don't give it a shot. And hey, maybe some day I'll come back to it. But for now, no, I won't, and that's that. I have other things to work on anyway.

So... I hope this helps! Thank you for asking me, I appreciate you want my perspective on it!