#those are fine...

[kiwiplaetzchen]

"Oh no, Nosy, catch it!"

Elland and the heart and soul of the Slytherin Menagerie are somewhere in the attic at Will's Manor over the holidays, both visiting, when in his curiosity Elland opens up a big chest in the corner of the small cramped chamber.

A golden snitch bursts out and jets all over the place, knocking over anything light that's not tied down, passing through the stout old book shelves, ricocheting off the walls and sending the decades-old dust into motion. The snitch looks as disoriented as Elland and Nosy are startled, although for a different reason: this is not a Quidditch pitch and it has nowhere to go.

"Accio snitch! Accio!"

Elland scrambles, trying to get to it, but there's not enough space to maneuver and the poor lighting of the attic makes it hard for him to keep his eyes on the snitch.

"Blast, how does Will do it! Nosy, behind you!"

The Niffler was tightly clinging to Elland's leg, his little paws gripping as he schemed. He had intended to play a prank on the lad with the surprisingly talented belly-rubbing hands, but alas, that plan backfired, and now he found himself in a rather boring, dusty attic. No comparison at all to the rest of the place downstairs, which was full of shiny things and snacks!

With a dramatic sigh, Nosy slowly slipped down Elland's leg, his grip loosening until he lay flat on the dusty floor, utterly slain by boredom. The little menace was not impressed. His eyes darted around the cramped space, trying to locate the exit. He’d get his revenge on the pretty lad later, no doubt.

Just then, something snapped Nosy out of his misery. A loud pop echoed through the room as Elland foolishly opened an old chest. Before either of them could react, a golden snitch burst out, streaking through the air like a firecracker. The commotion startled both wizard and Niffler, sending dust and clutter flying everywhere.

"Accio snitch! Accio!" Elland shouted while the snitch zigzagged wildly around the room, but it darted through the cramped space far too quickly. His warning, however, came just a second too late.

The golden snitch slipped right between Nosy’s legs, catching him off guard and knocking him off balance. Nosy staggered backward, landing on his fluffy bottom with an indignant squeak. The little Niffler huffed through his nostrils, narrowing his eyes. A challenge? Nosy’s fur bristled with determination. How dare that shiny trinket play the Teal King like that!

With newfound purpose, Nosy sprang to his feet and launched himself after the flying golden ball. While the wizard waggled around his magic stick in desperation, Nosy paused for a second to give him a quick sideways glance that oozed pure judgement. Pathetic, the Niffler thought, shaking his head. If it had been Sebastian or the pretty Prefect, this would’ve been over in seconds.

Nosy focused his attention back on the snitch, still sending dust clouds everywhere. He leapt from bookshelves to old chests, knocking over random knick-knacks as the golden snitch whizzed about the attic. His little paws worked with lightning precision as he climbed and jumped, his eyes never leaving the prize. The golden ball was fast, but Nosy was determined.

Suddenly, the snitch stopped, hovering right in front of Elland's face. This was Nosy’s moment. With a graceful long jump that could only be described as epic, Nosy launched himself through the air, his tiny body gliding with the elegance of a champion. In his head, he could hear the cheers of an adoring crowd. Nosy! Nosy! Nosy!

But the snitch had other plans.

With one quick flick, it zipped away just as Nosy reached his target. Instead of the snitch, Nosy landed squarely on Elland's face with a soft thud. There was a brief moment of silence before Nosy chirped, clearly unfazed by his less-than-perfect landing. After all, the Teal King never loses - he just takes detours.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[hinamie]

oversaturate

[traumatizeddfox]

“delululu” “what a narcissist” “i’m so ocd” “i let my intrusive thoughts win” “im an empath” “are you acoustic” “bpd girls 😍” “im so manic” “my trauma made me spicy and funny”

[o0kawaii0o]

On a break, what are they talking about?

[daigah]

We lose everytime a girl in fiction who is on the masc side and happy with it becomes very feminine as a supposed sign of maturity

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[bubbarnes]

“... the good old days. I'm still trying to get back to that winter soldier shape, I don't know if it's going to work out at forty-two years old.”

[gremnda]

i watched last life a few days ago from bdubs' pov and please take this drawing from my hands. they are insane. they're both cold blooded murderers. they love each other so much. i can't think about them too long or i'll perish

[starrysharks]

friendship is magic

closeups:

[spicynectarines]

misa <3

and her evil gay boyfriend ig..

[freyadragonlord]

I found this meme chart and I SawTM them.

[skarsgards-bill]

SEBASTIAN STAN

Monday (2020)

Dir. Argyris Papadimitropoulos

[wineanddineloseyourmind]

the transgender urge to curl up like a small fluffy animal against someone you love’s warm body and make little mewling and sighing and whining sounds as they pet you and praise you for having tried so hard to be human until you fall asleep

[noproveninterests]

he loves and supports you btw

underswap sans belongs to PopcornPr1nce/AU Community

original image under the cut

[spitedemon]

i really don’t think it’s “typical dragon age fandom nonsense” for people to be genuinely upset about the world state choices. combat, level design, art direction, gameplay gimmicks, those have all varied across each dragon age game. the one thing that’s remained constant are nods to our previous choices.

i wasn’t expecting my HoF to come riding in on a griffon, but i can’t find a monument dedicated to warden tabris somewhere around the anderfels? lucanis couldn’t have some lines about the time that one arainai boy was stirring up trouble in antiva city? you’re gonna tell me that making a mage the new divine wouldn’t have some impact on nevarra and antiva? on the anderfels, the supposed most devout militant andrastian nation in thedas? you’re saying nobody in the north is paying attention to who rules orlais or ferelden? come on.