#tho I have no real regrets :)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
fallen simeon is underrated i think n should be talked about more <3
corrupting simeon by fucking him whenever ur alone together for long periods of time, bending him over tables, riding him on the couch, jerking him off while spooning etc, enjoying the sight of seeing feathers fall out his wings in large clumps
simeon, while reasonably upset, simply cant get enough, always running back to u when his sexual urges become too much for him to handle by himself, ur just addictive to him, something he cant help but go back to so he can get more, which in turn speeds up the process leading up to his eventual fall from grace (literally)
hes just lucky that Father is kind n gives him a human body so he can stay w u, instead of letting simeon fall to devildom, cause he wouldnt know what to do if he fell n became a demon n wasnt able to find u again
~ t4t anon
Nsfw + out of context lesson 61 and up spoilers
That’s such a fun way to look at it tho-
Simeon being thankful for his human body because it means he doesn’t have to leave you. And!! And!!- He can indulge in the sins of the flesh as much as he wants without worrying too much.
And the way he’s soooo addicted to your body~ he basically has no shame-
Simeon’s constantly pulling you into hidden corners or little side rooms when you’re out in public, at parties etc- Just to kiss and grind against you. Taking your hand and pressing it over his hard cock, begging you to touch him ‘n telling you just how badly he needs you and how hard it is to control his urges when you’re around.
Saying he doesn’t deserve you, when you get on your knees for him and pull out his cock, giving it a few teasing licks~ before taking it all the way into your mouth. Simeon’s hands grabbing you by your hair and shoving his cock down your throat until you gag-
Simeon mumbling dirty praise “Yes~ ahhh your throat feels so good, my sweet.” Before he bites his lip to keep his own moans muffled. Roughly bucking his hips into your face, relishing in the way you keep gagging around him "You take me so well~"
Ofc if you’d rather he’ll get on his knees for you first!! After all nothing brings him more pleasure then the look on your face whenever he makes you cum. The possibility that you could get caught at any moment not even crossing his mind anymore.
#obey me spoilers#……I ended up off track….again……oops-#tho I have no real regrets :)#t4t anon!#obey me smut#obey me simeon smut#obey me simeon x reader#obey me!#obey me#om!#obmswd#om! smut#om! simeon#om! x reader#obmswd x reader#obmswd smut#obmswd simeon#obey me x reader#roro writes
526 notes
·
View notes
Text
I do think it's wild that I used to be pretty neutral and even slightly supportive of byler, while not thinking it could (or should!) be endgame. But now I'm like. Actively bitter towards it just based on how I've seen fans act? I'm fed up with it. With theories (however plausible or outlandish) being treated as fact. Of the "canon or youre not a REAL fan" attitudes that are increasingly extreme.
Last July I was sent a dozen hate anons a bit over a year ago for saying I didn't think it made sense for byler to be canon within the final season, because what we have textually seen on screen has not prepared for the 180 Mike's relationships would have to take, but I've seen others get weird hate asks too. I also see what a large portion of shippers are calling "proof" and it's either something that is up for interpretation (which is fun and fine! But not definitive!) or they just made up. I've seen multiple people say milevens are toxic and homophobic etc but here on Tumblr I haven't seen that at all. (I'm sure there have been! But on Tumblr I think there's maybe... Three or so active milevens lol [I am not one] and they stay in their lane unless it's to beg bylers to stop cross tagging)
I've seen bylers make posts about mileven that are incredibly rude and act like they're superior for it! There's ableism and biphobia and homophobia and misogyny and all sorts of shit that always happens in fandom, but the level I've seen from bylers is bonkers (and yes! I am talking about bylers being homophobic! Acting like a character being gay only matters if he's in a relationship is homophobic!) I've only seen bylers consistently cross tag. I've seen them disregard all three characters involved with the love triangle and their motivations just to make byler happen, and it often comes down to them making all three two dimensional tropes and souless boring caricatures. The amount of denial around El's feelings is pretty offensive, and also boring!
I just think. Perhaps. If you don't like when people are consistently annoyed at the group of shippers, perhaps re-evaluate to see if you are the "positive community" you claim to be, or are actively attacking people who do not adhere to the increasingly rigid criteria you have decided are required to be considered a shipper, and immediately declaring someone who doesn't an "enemy".
#byler#<- target audience#fandom wank#im just. sick of yall being assholes. i used to not mind the ship tho i didnt really pay attention to kid ships#but damn. so many of you have fostered a toxic environment and you dont even know#i think i might regret posting this but brain is travel goopy and ive been in airports for 16 hours#so whatever#yall i shipped it but you couldnt stand i didnt ship it “correctly.”#a ship is not a moral representation! please be for real!#stranger things#blr#finda's rambles
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
Apologies
#shadowpeach#six eared macaque#sun wukong#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkey king#liu'er mihou#I just think it'd be neat if they apologized to each other and then cried and hugged about it#(cuz on god they both have some shit they should get off their chests and own up to)#like holy blue hells they're both just like “I think i shall spend my immortal life ruminating on my greatest regret and letting it fester”#everytime i watch the scene where Macaque is like:#“its good to talk about feelings! obv i don't do it”#i turn into the hands on hips guy meme#DUDE GO TO THERAPY#wukong too lets be real#been reading jttw the west (haven't actually gotten to where SEM shows up in the book yet tho)#and i think that if therapy existed back then tripitaka and sha wujing would've been gently but firmly#herding wukong into the local therapist's waiting room in as many towns they pass as possible#he'd probly grab the door frame and have to be literally pried off#these hypothetical ancient-chinese therapists all have claw marks on the hallways and doors going into their offices#hey how about an au where shadowpeach get therapists who end up getting all the monkey drama news first#and end up on the business-rivals-to-drinking-buddies pipeline#stopped while drawing this like “hey why'd i make mac be touching wukong's face in both sketches?”#and then i remembered that between the two mac's the one who wants to be something to the other#to the point of desperation#its like if they're both cats who got coned swk is the one who sits there miserably accepting his fate#while mac is that one video of the tuxedo cat shrieking and trying to paw it off#i'd read the hell out of a fic where they end up swapping attitudes about their dynamic#in canon wukong's the one who seems like he would like to never see mac again (at times) even tho he really regrets it and it hurts#like mac just gives up on trying to convince himself he can make swk see him as a significant part of his life again
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
˖°🦇ִ ࣪𖤐
#ok .. the appt wasnt as bad as i feared. and the therapist wasnt at all as i had imagined#he was actually one of the more easy ones within the psychiatric dept i've talked to#it was still a bit uncomfortable for me to open up esp when i got certain feelings...#but... what actually was good is that when i did that he pushed just a tiny bit and remarked on it and asked my further#(which works bc he also accepted when i just didnt know what to say or didnt wanna talk abt smth)#it took 2hrs omg.. but felt like 20 minutes.#i could notice that he actually is specialized on personality disorders lol. like he actually got what i said etc (which most havent)#so yeah. not as bad as i feared at all. he was quite good to talk with. this appt didnt feel at all as bad as i thought it would#but ofc he couldnt decide immediately if they'll take me on as a patient. bc they gotta have the required team meeting and discuss etc etc#he did say that he thinks my personality disorder is definitely causing me issues and that even if they dont take me on as a patient i#still need help. so that's just nice to hear#even if bc of cutbacks and such i know that the chances of me actually getting help are slim :(#IF i do tho i wont squander it#anyway it's just nice now bc i was SO tense and stressed and scared but it went absolutely fine#and now i'll just wait until they get back to me. and i dont have any expectations or hopes that they'll accept me as a patient.#so if they dont - as i expected. if they do - nice surprise and actually a real chance for me to get help#for today i feel ok about it phew#i cant help but be anxious abt how at the end he asked me for feedback akskskskks and i was like umm i dunno...#bc it's difficult for me to talk abt a person to that person T-T#but really i wanted to saythat i thought it was really good that he sometimes asked me if he understood smth i said correctly#and explained how he interpreted smth i said. & when i was like oh idk how to explain it idk if this makes sense. he would tell me if he#didnt understand exactly but know where i was going w it etc etc. which honestly most of the therapists i've talked to have not done that#so ughh now im like.. he's one of the few ones who does that i want him to know thats a good thing why didnt i say this T-T noooooo. regret.#oh well....
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
no one told me how isolating unmasking would be
#and its certainly...something#like i dont regret it#i dont wanna masking to be my default and i dont wanna be in pain or uncomfortable anymore#but realizing that the ppl in my life have never been exposed to the real unmasked version of me#and finding that most of them dont like that version#well its kinda heartbreaking#and dont get me wrong i do love my alone time#but im also so terribly lonely at the same time#and dont know hoe to fix it bc for most ppl relationships depending on the going out aspect#and lots of that stuff is painful for me and im trying to not force myself to do#so im just left on my own#just wasnt ready for how terrible this would be even tho its also great#autism#ry rambles#probably will delete later
115 notes
·
View notes
Note
Where should Jews live? Where do they belong? Where do you consider their native land to be? Honest question.
an honest question deserves an honest answer so here ya go:
Anywhere and everywhere. Jews- the followers of the Abrahamic religion Judaism- along with Muslims, Christians, Atheists, Sikhs, Vegans, and literally any human being under the sun have the right to live wherever they please (given certain criteria are met like visas and that it isnt a military station/ off limits area etc).
Yes my dear reader(s) you read that right; ones faith or lack thereof shouldnt be an obstacle in any aspect of ones life, be it medical services, education, job opportunities, so on and so forth. How novel.
That answers where they 'should' live (although I dont by any means impose anything on anyone; y'all do whatever as long as its legal and harms no one including yourself. God bless). Could is more accurate.
As for where they 'belong', this in my opinion is one of the beauties of religion: people from all walks of life can belong to a religion. Diversity lies at the heart of our existence as human beings and denying it is like denying the existence of the sun. Tolerance is a must if we are ever going to get along with each other. And this belonging isn't irrevocabley tied to geography. But I digress :)
Quick aside just so we're all on the same page: converting to a religion renders you just as valid and equal as someone born into a religion. Most if not all religions preach equality between their followers regardless of background, so i wont hear anything of 'oh theyre not real xyz' or 'they dont count' or any of that bs.
By this logic (religious demographics are, generally speaking, very diverse), there is no 'this set of people belong here, and those over there' ...and proof of that in a sense would be atheists/ agnostics; where would they 'belong'? Antarctica? Outer space? alright ill stop XD
If that were the case, most of the planet would be crammed in the Middle East lol [Syria, Jordan, and Lebanon alone are home to 34M (as of 2023), and the followers of the 3 main Abrahamic religions are an estimated 3.4B (as of 2020) globally. We wouldnt fit even if we used one of these]. Yeah nationality/ race/ ethnicity/ background influence and maybe even dictate one's religious identity, but it isn't the all or nothing we may think it to be.
Which brings us nicely to the next point, and here if you'll allow me i'd like to correct it to native land of Judaism (where it originated/ flourished/ spread whatever) as opposed to native land of Jews because as i mentioned above, a religion doesnt (or shouldnt) differentiate nor discriminate between its followers. By restricting them to one geographical location (and for some using it as an indicator of their authenticity) we do them great disservice as well as contradict the teachings themselves. A demonstration:
Im Jordanian right, (dad's maternal side are from bilad al sham; Syria) and im a born Muslim alhamdulillah. My dads Malaysian roommates from his uni days are also born Muslims (and have the best food lol, my all time favourite is lemak cili padi) and seperating us on the basis of them not being Arab or Middle Eastern is unislamic, intolerant, xenophobic, and wrong on every level. Alternatively, im just as Muslim as someone from Mecca or Medina. We're all Muslim. we are the world...
Circling back, Judaism the religion is native to the Holy land (I guess you can say it started in Egypt till it moved there but idk. Regardless), and Jews (adherants of the faith) can't in my humble opinion be fairly categorised as one monolithic unit... just like any and every other faith out there.
Another quick aside; this is merely a tumblr post that cant do the history and culture and intricacies and so much more of this matter a portion of the justice it deserves. I am but a tired medical student answering to the best of my abilities a question I was asked with my limited knowledge in theology and perspective in general, so do me a favour and keep that in mind. And to anyone reading this if you have questions or corrections or resources or anything you want to mention be my guest :)
If you're still here, I'm both grateful and amused. Here's what you probably came for, the piece de resistance if you will: 🍉israel🍉
Disclaimer: thanks for reading this far, but if you disagree in any way shape or form with any of the 30 human rights articles, you may as well stop reading and put your device through the shredder. Bigots, racists, fascists, anti vaxxers etc. dni
So far ive seen this idea, call it what you will, two times (which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened to me twice consecutively), that claims the freedom of Palestine equals a genocide of the Jews.
Er, no? No ma'am. One does not solve a genocide by comitting another genocide. What part of 'never again' are we missing here?
Before we get into politcal nominations and factions and other territories i dont plan on invading (pun intended) but might accidentally cross anyway (I forgot where i was going with this) i want to remind everyone that Judaism is not synonymous with Israel nor zionism (if u disagree with this go ahead and shred ur device too).
A refresher: Judaism is a religion, Israel is an illegal-occupying-apartheid-state, and Zionism is a movement/ ideology
So 'genocide of the Jews' is both wrong (diction) and more wrong (factually incorrect) in that the liberation of Palestine means freedom from oppression, discrimination, settler colonialism... the whole nine yards. Enough bloodshed already its been nearly 76 years.
When Netenyahu is eventually drop kicked out of office (and hopefully hung, drawn, and quartered for his plentiful warcrimes) what happens to the (illegal) citizens of Israel? Well first off, return the stolen homes and land to their rightful owners who have the keys (and documents if they werent tampered with or erased) to prove it.
As for the illegal-under-international-law settlements and new also illegal establishments; I have no idea what international laws will decree (not that I have that much faith in the judiciary system), but I assume they will be seized and evicted of the illegal tenants (how you like me now?) and given to those who have been displaced or homes ruined etc. because its theirs and theirs alone and it was unlawfully and cruelly taken away from them and not because the (remaining lol) former Israeli citizens can't or shouldn't live in palestine. they can go live somewhere where its legal. the priority is Palestinians tho.
What about the indigenous everyone else? As long as their houses aren't stolen or illegal they can should stay because its legal and its theirs and thats that. you cannot kick someone out of their home to give it to another (which was the basis of the creation of Israel.) because its ✨i l l e g a l✨
And the people who dont belong so to speak? I think this one's case by case; like I said at the very, very beginning; people have the right to live wherever as long as its legal and ok to do so regardless of faith or background, and no one should be denied their right to live in Palestine as a country like any other, but they certainly must be denied living in homes stolen and given to them because thats, say it with me now, illegal <3
#pls excuse any grammatical/ spelling errors; i had a big exam yesterday and lectures resumed today and im still recovering lol#no joke this has taken me more than 5 hours to write#i have a raging headache and overdue lectures to study#and i dont regret it#if anyone reading this learnt anything or widened their perspective if only a bit it will have been more than worth it#im a sucker for any sort of knowledge and insight and i know my effort wont be lost :)#to anon thank you for the question. i hope i answered you well#if not#ah well#(if there is something specific tho id be interested to hear)#...unless this was satire or something and it flew right over my head. can you smell the overthinking?#i tried to keep this as real to life as possible because lots of things get lost over the internet communication-wise#hence the bad jokes and puns and references#not to make light of the situation on the ground#but to seem yk human and not robotic and unfeeling#idk i tried#do with that what you will#tag me tho#im so tired#but alhamdulillah#yall i reread everyhting to use capital letters and apostrophes wheres my nobel prize in literature? (mostly)#free palestine#free gaza#free rafah#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#fuck israel#its illegal xxx#ask#answered#anon ask
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
why did you shave the side of your head? i ask because i almost never see people my age with the same hair cut as me
(i liked the g1 venus monster high doll alot, among other pedantic things)
this is such a funny ask bc i hadn't thought abt it till now but. despite not being Super Into monster high when it was huge, i remember staring at the venus monster high doll in toy mags and in stores and being absolutely obsessed with her design. i still think it slaps. but. idunno. other than that, a lot cool folk i know have it, i like it, so i decided i wanted to have it also P:
#my head is currently pretty evenly hair'd after i cut it real short#but im planning to grow it out again#maybe do an undercut instead of a side shave this time#or smthn fun#we'll see#rn it's a blessing to be back to minimum hair maintenance tho so maybe i'll keep it short!#the world is my oyster and hair always grows back#which is to say. You Also should do whatever you want forever with your hair. if you regret it- it'll grow back. chop it and start over.#if youre feelin spunky with it get a wig. style tht. have fun.#(im planning on getting a few wigs for funsies)
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
what if i badly doodle my weatherman oc (zenith) in the weather app. thus throwing him into his natural habitat (the weather).
#i felt like buying a subscription for radar omega because i needed more data .. on weather .. to report on. i dont regret it yet#too cheap to get the priciest one tho. still im way too dedicated to the weather im like that girl from cloudy with a chance of meatballs#who wanted the real cool radar thingy and i dont blame her#id love to have it too if it was real lmao#weatherposting#todays forecast#<- my story#you can look at the fronts tho ig
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
this but carlo & moretti😔🤨 thats all thank you
#i caaaaaaaaaaaaant find the whole piece bc apparently they deleted this book from the public domain🙄🙄🙄fuckers#but context: john torrio is in the hospital after an attempted murder#1931-32 idk failed murder attempt on moretti real hashtag canon now hashtag in my head#carlo & moretti#m2#also whatever funny thing: this is capone's biography written by one rus author and#they released this book as part of the “lives of wonderful people” series(😭)#and fucked it up badly bc it caused an outcry and the book had to be reissued (tho stalin's biography is in this series like fr tf🙄)#<- and ok i was googling this book & turns out that in the 1st edition contained a shit ton of photos#i took reprinted ver in the library & w like 1 photo in it#fuck now i regret it sm 😔 but it was like the only available choice in the nearest libraries#i mean no this is actually ridiculous to print capone's biography in this series but ehh it's always so good#in terms of illustrative material so its upsetting#also second funny thing: was takin another books in the library today and GOD SEES american history sections are always so fucking funny#“the shameful history of america” ”rotten capitalism” and other such titles#dear god “u wanna fuck me so bad it makes u look stupid” situation. sorry its a n1 red flag to me when history books have such titles#no u dont do it this way. not “our gloriously prosperous country” vs “these disgusting other countries"#funny stuff. top 10 epic fail moments 0 swag 0 respect when this grandpa will finally die
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
Anon from the karma flower ask here, just gotta say i have no regrets, hows sparrows recovery going?
according to doctor (Euros) she'll be just fine after grounding herself a lil. nothing bad essentially happened, she just wasn't ready for all those feelings
#Spot says stuff#rw#oc tag#to try n explain a bit: i mentioned it in an answer to alter from yesterday but basically the physical world is a muffler. absorber.#what the karma flower does is basically like. boosts the meditation effect. assists in the subtle bodies departing from the physical body#and since the physical body becomes eliminated from the equation everything will hit stronger and More. sparrows dad is a sore-#-subject for her normally already n getting any kind of input about him while in this Seeing projection state just fucking. rowed her over#shes ultimately okay. maybe even better off. just had to confront the feelings head on without anything to make it lighter or to hide behin#lookin at moons explanation of it fuckin... 'imagined worlds'... Bitch What If Its Real Tho. i like to think that moon is kind of-#-skeptical of the spiritual. the iterators cant experience the effect for themselves ofc so shes 🤨 but nah we already have folk gods in-#-here so the karma flower allowing the user to really See other planes? aiya true dat up in this bitch yeehaw#'have no regrets' tho you ASSHOLE /lh GLSKDCLSKDMLCK
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was having some thoughts about how I could draw the petrified vampire appearance versus the non-petrified vampires... Then I dug up a doodle of Caius with a ponytail, colored it, and then edited different variations of it. It's supposed to be normal appearances with a hungry version.
I tried to make the "pertified" versions have shinier skin to get that "onion skin" texture that Bella described... Maybe I shouldn't have picked the palest vampire to do this exercise with tho, because it's barely noticeable. The smaller cracks are added because I love vampires looking even more like statues as they age (inspired by the now deactivated UniversallyPanned). You might need to click to see the cracks.
Obligatory Art Comm Info
#He's my fav tho so I have no regrets#i've been sick :( so that explains my relative absence from tumblr. Still a bit sick and getting real busy with life things#twilight#volturi#caius volturi#the volturi#the twilight saga#twilight renaissance#twilight saga#fanart#abyssal stuff#abyssal arts#art#illustration#drawing#painting#digital art
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
//
#i had some coffee earlier and im having some Regrets#feeling real nauseous tonight 😭#well i assume its the coffee i guess but maybe its something else i ate idk#sometimes i have trouble telling the difference between anxious and nauseous#tho i guess theyre not mutually exclusive 💀#either way im gonna chill on mobile cause wehhhh#in a good mood but like. feel horrible jfjfjd
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cyberpunk 2077 is my favorite anti-capitalist game that I spent 70 dollars to play
#like is it worth 70 dollars#I Guess?#I know it took years and so many people to actually put this game together#and the basegame and dlc for seventy dollars total is such a steal in comparison to say#a certain life simulator game I play#but the actual game Cyberpunk in itself is so inaccessible already#like my gaming laptop can run the sims with all dlc and custom content on ultra graphics EASY#buy trying to run cyberpunk even on the lowest graphics is like#ROUGH#and like paying 70 dollars for the LOWEST graphics setting is pretty mid#like yeah they got Keanu Reeves as the cool brain parasite#but that only speaks to me on a personal level because I have a mental health issue that causes me to have Keanu Reeves as a brain parasite#in my actual real life#the story is so great but there’s so many side quests that no matter how many hours I play the game for I’ll never actually COMPLETE it#cyberpunk is my FAVORITE game and I do NOT regret buying it bc the story is there the world is there the characters are there#but it feels so superficial knowing I spent a quarter of my paycheck to spend 30 hours being like#‘that’s right Johnny Silverhand we should fuck em up’#i think it’s more that cyberpunk feels like a story the world really needs right now#but it’s only accessible to such a niche group of people#especially since the game got so much hate on launch#and yeah there is the anime now but the anime doesn’t even TOUCH a VAST MAJORITY of night city#the anime doesn’t have the same depth and wonder that the game has because the game is about a city and the show is about 1 group of people#cyberpunk 2077 really resonated with me in such a unique way and I love it so much I can’t even begin to describe my hyperfixation#but the graphics and first person camera give me motion sickness#and my wallet cried for three days when I bought the game#and so much of the actual political ideology is lost on me Because of the price point#I’m gonna play it anyway tho bc I’ve never seen my own brain parasites represented as video game characters before#twink speaks#Twink plays cyberpunk 2077#not cc
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Beautiful women named hearing damage are reverberating in my skull rn <3
#ramblings of a lunatic#I KNOW THIS IS BAD CONCERT ETIQUETTE I'M SUFFERING AND REGRET IT DON'T YELL AT ME#anyway concert was insanely fucking good so even though my skulls been liquidized i have no real complaints#3 acts and they were back to back hits no misses not even a slight dip in energy or quality#mwah mwuah magnifique <3#sooooo many beautiful gay women n ppl doin gay lil dances and screaming gay lil songs on stage while we all moshed in our gay lil pit#aughh. transcendent#local bands/concerts >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>#(even tho i do love going to big blowout rock experiences. but have you considered: the humble local punk band <3)
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had a weird dream about a certain song that had effects on ppl whenever they first listen and it literally plays in the back of your head for I believe a week? or maybe it was a month. And certain things start to happen to you--it just makes you act weird for the whole week or so it's in your head? and then it leaves and you go back to normal. some of the things you did were pretty silly tbh xD but I can't remember much of it.
I do remember you were supposed to make others listen to the song too (kinda like chain mail) but idk what the point of that was BCZ LIKE.. it's not like it made you yourself stop thinking abt it. It isn't like one of those you give it to another person to make it stop things SO THAT MADE NO SENSE. I guess so they could suffer having to hear the song in the back of their head with you xD
#I remember I listened to it in the dream because I was “nuh uh no song is gonna make ME act weird !!!!”#spoiler it made me act weird :p#and I felt like I was gonna have nightmares with this song in my head BAHSBHSADBHBS#luckily I was already in a dream so HA#I didn't have the song in the back of my head anymore when I woke up tho#which is weird bcz usually whenever I have dreams about certain songs and music (even if they're not real) it'll be in the back of my head#but I literally cannot remember what the melody was or how it went#maybe a week past in the dream and I didn't notice xD#I was still stubborn in the dream tho even while the song was stuck in my head#I was all like “I still don't regret it I'll get through this!! >:D”#why am I like that in my dreams#I should prooobably start actually writing these in the dream journal that I've had since I was like 12#I wrote a maximum of maybe like 10 dreams in there in the 4 years I've had it#but it takes me too long to write stuff with pen and paperrrr I end up forgetting my dreams while writing in it xD#oh yea another thing that happened was my sister joined a pinterest group that I was in#and she was gonna REPLACE ME#LIKE BRO#THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CURRENT DREAM SHE WAS JUST THERE BAHSBDHABH
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.
like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo
i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.
#speculation nation#the duality of being a deeply resentful and angry person. and being a person that Tries to be mature and peaceful.#like im not gonna actually Do shit even tho i keep wanting to message her just to yell at her some more again#it's like there's a beast in me that keeps yelling for retribution. she wronged me in such a disrespectful and humiliating way#and yet she just gets to walk away like it was nothing? live her life like it was nothing?#be in 'love' with her new 'soulmate' after cutting me off like a rotten limb?#i feel so DEEPLY angry. i want to spit vitriol and fire. i want to dig my claws into her bones. make her really FEEL how i feel.#i want to wander into her dreams and make her experience what i felt. every miserable second of silence.#the humiliation of admitting you might be falling in love only to be told you were never loved at all.#and i want to knee her in the gut and spit in her face and really make her regret ever fucking wronging me#but unfortunately im a stupid fucking pacifist so all the aggression and anger and violence has no FUCKING outlet#ive been. trying to not think about it too much. ive been trying to just live my life. because i dont want her to run my life.#but the anger keeps catching up to me. filtering in when i dont expect it. endless constant fucking thoughts coming back to me#on and on and on and on i live and i eat and i read and i game and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i HATE AND I HATE#the greatest injustice is that i cannot make her truly feel every single ounce of my resentment and anger#it's so overwhelming i think i could choke on it. and she gets to live her FUCKING happy little life with her stupid fucking 'soulmate'#i hope it collapses around her and she loses her too so she's single and alone and miserable and regretting all of her fucking impulsivenes#she deserves to have it fail after what she did to me. and all i can really do is hope that karma has its fucking kiss for her.#if only curses were real. what i wouldnt give to put some energy into that karmic payback lmfao.#ok . ok ok ok ok love and peace on planet earth. i am shifting out of vitriolic little shit mode.#just had to let some of the steam out. im still angry but i am going to go back to not thinking about it.#i think i should go on a nice long bike ride tomorrow. to decompress and work some of the steam out.#it's something that she can never take from me. something that is so wholly mine. fuck that stupid bitch and fuck her new girlfriend too#...............................ok NOW im shifting out of vitriolic mode. lol#negative/#WAHOOOOOO i am certainly not taking this breakup well. but i dont think anyone would be lmfao.#all things considered i think im doing a pretty great job at handling this breakup.#bc at least im only recounting unrealistic threats and fantasies on my tumblr dot com instead of messaging Any of this to her.#i may kinda want her to read it so that she knows anyways. but i wont message her directly. bc i am Trying to be at least a little mature.#complaining on my tumblr dot com so i dont message my ex with more vitriol. gotta cope Somehow.
4 notes
·
View notes