#well its kinda heartbreaking

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

no one told me how isolating unmasking would be

[nidera]

digital mascot design by Reiko Chiba

[blooky8]

one panic attack and breathing excercise later,,,,,,,,, i think i need to write some of my thoughts down before moving on

first of all, as i said in the notes earlier i honestly should've expected something like this to happen. even if the king sounded pathetic each time we fought him, i should've kept in mind how powerful he is and that he still froze a bunch of people in time and was going to do that with the whole country, no matter the reason. but the most important thing to recognize is probably the fact that perceived emotional weakness didn't mean that it would be possible to convince him, didn't mean that he wasn't cruel. it's not like anything could've been changed with my knowledge, i just feel silly for walking right into that with no suspicions. well, lesson learned, can't stop the king with words

second of all - the king was talking about something called wish craft, saying how he smells the sweet scent right before that, and claiming that sif's using this craft right after. i guess this is what it's actually about, huh? not time craft, but wish craft? while i still know nothing about it the only assumption i can make is the symbolic one - you know, wishing upon a star? jhhgfk

but could sif really wish for something that would cause the loop, or is it someone else's wishing's fault, or both? even if sif could, i doubt they'd be able to remember. i mean, they congratulated themselves on reaching the 20th loop at the 24th, and i don't even know if it's a bug or a feature💀

third of all - no matter how much i pretend like i'm unfazed i think i still need to address that. HOLY SHIT was i terrified for a second there. especially for those few seconds when i thought i actually WILL have to watch everyone get violently murdered, with no easy way to loop back in sight...... the moment i saw the unusually big-fonted laughter i knew i did something wrong......... it was almost a feeling of amusement with how much i did not expect any of this to happen, with how unbelievably cruel the scene had became in such a short time, the kind of terror that you don't believe at first because well there's no way, right?

but i guess this wish craft is really a thing sif can control, since thinking about looping very hard really did loop us back! i don't think this was like any other loop, it was definitely directly from a wish. the king said that he "wished" to be like this as well, does that mean he wields wish craft rather than time craft, or perhaps both?? lots to think about

also, funny how sif assumed that loop is going to be an ass about this:

right before this dialogue option popped up i thought "i know you told me all about how the king can't be trusted but don't you dare to go i-told-you-so at me right now, that would be The Bitch Move ever--"

.........aaaand they did it! cool🙂 "rude to them" how about RUDE TO ME

[enigmatic-bumble]

When you finish reading a novel and it's like

[arolesbianism]

If I had the freedom of not knowing there is going to be future new lore stuff added to oni I would do unspeakable things to so many of these guys. Or Id just make them normal guys who just sorta exist. Either or.

[howdydoodydodis]

I definitely wish I could see more takes on C3 from people who aren’t steeped in western cultural Christianity.

I think a huge problem I’m seeing in some attempts at meta with C3 is that there is a subset of viewers who do not understand the place, value, and meaning of real world religion. It breeds takes like “well throw the gods out! Who needs them! They caused characters and the world pain! Free Vax from the Raven Queen!”

I throw that last one in there because it is the most ridiculous yet frequent and is really the crux of the issue. Vax’s story is very much about faith and the importance of faith and devotion. If you place no value on that you’ll end up grossly misunderstanding the character and the nature of his tragedy.

I’m going to out myself as an atheist, but I think the issue with a lot of these takes are that they come from internet atheists who are either resentful of and hostile toward religion because of personal experiences or do not know any devout people in their lives who they respect and can empathize with. And while I am not trying to downplay the very real phenomenon of religious trauma, when healing from it it is crucial to realize that all spiritual traditions are not synonymous with the one that harmed you. I would really implore more people to explore why many good people find spiritual traditions and religion to be a source of solace, community, and meaning before writing off the idea wholesale as something only functioning as a means of power and control that people can be educated out of believing. I encourage you to branch out and here are some examples of things I’ve done to challenge my own judgement over the last ten years: read the writings of gay Catholics exploring the queerness of Jesus. Read some beautiful poetry written by a trans man who specializes in Anglican theology. Explore religious observances different from the ones you experienced and attend a Seder. Go if a coworker invites you to a celebration of Ganesh. Learn the significance of solstice celebrations because your coworker is officiating one for a Wiccan event. Break fast at sundown during Ramadan with in solidarity with your roommate.

Deciding that all fictional religion must be an allegory for a specific kind of toxic nationalistic prosperity gospel Christian cult found in America will only limit how you engage with both fiction and the real world. It took me a long time to get to this place about it and I hope I’ve put the spark of curiosity and not judgment into at least one person reading this.

[strawbebyjam]

thinking about my pear tree

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

Hey so like many of you, I saw that article about how people are going into college having read no classic books. And believe it or not, I've been pissed about this for years. Like the article revealed, a good chunk of American Schools don't require students to actually read books, rather they just give them an excerpt and tell them how to feel about it. Which is bullshit.

So like. As a positivity post, let's use this time to recommend actually good classic books that you've actually enjoyed reading! I know that Dracula Daily and Epic the Musical have wonderfully tricked y'all into reading Dracula and The Odyssey, and I've seen a resurgence of Picture of Dorian Gray readership out of spite for N-tflix, so let's keep the ball rolling!

My absolute favorite books of all time are The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. Classic psychological horror books about unhinged women.

I adore The Bad Seed by William March. It's widely considered to be the first "creepy child" book in American literature, so reading it now you're like "wow that's kinda cliche- oh my god this is what started it. This was ground zero."

I remember the feelings of validation I got when people realized Dracula wasn't actually a love story. For further feelings of validation, please read Frankenstein by Mary Shelley and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. There's a lot the more popular adaptations missed out on.

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier is an absolute gem of a book. It's a slow-build psychological study so it may not be for everyone, but damn do the plot twists hit. It's a really good book to go into blind, but I will say that its handling of abuse victims is actually insanely good for the time period it was written in.

Moving on from horror, you know people who say "I loved this book so much I couldn't put it down"? That was me as a kid reading A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Picked it up while bored at the library and was glued to it until I finished it.

Peter Pan and Wendy by JM Barrie was also a childhood favorite of mine. Next time someone bitches about Woke Casting, tell them that the original 1911 Peter Pan novel had canon nonbinary fairies.

Watership Down by Richard Adams is my sister Cori's favorite book period. If you were a Warrior Cats, Guardians of Ga'Hoole or Wings of Fire kid, you owe a metric fuckton to Watership Down and its "little animals on a big adventure" setup.

A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry was a play and not a book first, but damn if it isn't a good fucking read. It was also named after a Langston Hughes poem, who's also an absolutely incredible author.

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is a book I absolutely adore and will defend until the day I die. It's so friggin good, y'all, I love it more than anything. You like people breaking out of fascist brainwashing? You like reading and value knowledge? You wanna see a guy basically predict the future of television back in 1953? Read Fahrenheit.

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain and To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee are considered required reading for a reason: they're both really good books about young white children unlearning the racial biases of their time. Huck Finn specifically has the main character being told that he will go to hell if he frees a slave, and deciding eternal damnation would be worth it.

As a sidenote, another Mark Twain book I was obsessed with as a kid was A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Exactly what it says on the tin, incredibly insane read.

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin is a heartbreaking but powerful book and a look at the racism of the time while still centering the love the two black protagonists feel for each other. Giovanni's Room by the same author is one that focuses on a MLM man struggling with his sexuality, and it's really important to see from the perspective of a queer man living in the 50s– as well as Baldwin's autobiographical novel, Go Tell it on the Mountain.

Agatha Christie mysteries are all still absolutely iconic, but Murder on the Orient Express is such a good read whether or not you know the end twist.

Maybe-controversial-maybe-not take: Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is a good book if you have reading comprehension. No, you're not supposed to like the main character. He pretty much spells that out for you at the end ffs.

Animal Farm by George Orwell was another favorite of mine; it was written as an obvious metaphor for the rise of fascism in Russia at the time and boy does it hit even now.

And finally, please read Shakespeare plays. As soon as you get used to their way of talking, they're not as hard to understand as people will lead you to believe. My absolute favorite is Twelfth Night- crossdressing, bisexual love triangles, yellow stockings... it's all a joy.

and those are just the ones i thought of off the top of my head! What're your guys' favorite classic books? Let's make everyone a reading list!

[voidhope]

The Other Woman

—

Synopsis: Where Miguel leaves Y/N to go back to a different version of his old wife found in another universe.

Pair: Miguel O’Hara x Spider!Reader

Tags: ANGST!!, long term established relationship, heartbreak, marriage, cheating, mental health, cold/distant Miguel

—

A/N: Hi! I don’t really write at all!!

I have been a silent reader on tumblr for years but this idea has been playing in my mind so much I had the urge to write it. I have been down so bad for Miguel been on his tag like 24/7 indulging in all the content creators have been putting out. So I’m excited to join in giving content, however keep in mind I kinda suck! Apologies for any mistakes, anything confusing, or it not being well written enough. Honestly could have made this into multiple parts with better details but nah. Tried my best ^^ since it’s my first time, any feedback is greatly appreciated!

Honestly tbh we all don’t have a solid grasp how the whole canon thing and multi universe works yet so!! A lot of what is written is made up to suit my storyline so please don’t get mad about the inaccuracies.

I love a good angst and today’s story will be EXTRAAA angsty!!! As well kinda long!!

—————————————————

The moment that changed your life was while working on an experiment during your college finals. You were a proud and gifted physics major that was so passionate about discovering and exploring what the world didn’t know.

You had snuck into Alchemax late at night. You wanted to show your professors just how much you could do with the right tools. Next thing you know, playing with their machines, you had spawned a spider right in-front of you. The glowing vibrant red spider had sunk its jaw into your hand.

Your life did a complete turn and you spent the rest of that week freaking out while changes to your body were happening. Causing you to fail your semester after missing exams. Things felt like it could only get worse when a massive blue suited masked man showed up out of nowhere in your dorm interrogating you.

“Where’s the spider?” He had a strong grip on your shoulders. You couldn’t focus while trying to process why this man had what seemed like claws sticking out of the ends of his fingers.

“I don’t know, it like died after it bit me!” You exclaimed nervously at the freakishly strong man. Trying to reach for anything behind you to use as a defense weapon.

“Dios mío no me digas eso…” He groaned loudly letting you go. Having the opportunity to grab something, you threw a sanrio plushie at him. Only causing him to wave his arms in annoyance. “That spider is from my earth and somehow you brought it here. Now you’re a spider-man.”

And the rest is history…

—

You learned that the man was Miguel O’Hara and when he found you he was just starting his missions with the multiverse. You being the few of the firsts to join his team.

Your situation was quite bizarre and he called you an anomaly for a long time, spending hours studying you and also training you. You ended up being the one case that can’t be explained no matter how much effort was put into monitoring you.

Almost like it was meant to be. Your universe remained perfect with its current spider-man doing fine. No big collapse of a black hole or anything. When you got bit by a spider from Earth-928 your DNA merged with that universe making you fit in perfectly. You were one of the only spider-people with an uncertain timeline with new canons being created depending on what universe you were in.

What changed from you being just a piece of research for Miguel is when he then realized that maybe you were a gift from the multiverse. After all the grief and pain he’d went through the universe had given him this person that worked out perfectly no matter how hard he tried to push them away. You fell head over heels for him and vice versa, all while canon events were being created with both of you together.

You were there as his team grew, slowly turning into a family. Then both of you getting married finalizing that this was your home. Everything felt perfect. Although a relationship with Miguel could have its up and down days, nothing could ever tear you both apart. Or so you assumed.

—

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Miguel couldn’t look at you.

“When did this start? Please be honest with me. Did I do something wrong?” You begged at him. You knew he was acting off recently but never did you think it would result to this.

You watched as he exhaled deeply staring at the ground. You felt like you couldn’t breathe as you studied his face trying to grasp onto any emotion he was showing. The atmosphere in his office felt so cold. You so badly wanted to catch his gaze and find the warmth and love his red irises used to give you. He was doing everything to push you away. He was abandoning you.

“You did nothing wrong. I met her during a mission 4 months ago.” Was all he replied.

“Who is she?” Your heart kept breaking. His face hardening as the question slipped through your lips. You knew Miguel wouldn’t leave you for just anyone. Deep in your heart you knew what this was about. He never responded but he didn’t need to when you saw his eyes flicker over to his monitor screens. You followed his trace and saw the photo of Gabriella in the corner.

“Does she have another version of your daughter?” You tried again. This is what made him look directly at you. Miguel kept opening and closing his month unsure how to tell you the truth. You weren’t stupid and he knew that. After everything he couldn’t just walk out on you with a lie.

“No.” He paused thinking of how to finally share the truth without it ruining you. There was no way out of this. “She is a younger version of herself. There is no Miguel in her universe and she’s not important to the timeline. She lives a regular life. I-it’s a chance for me to start at the very beginning.”

You felt your heart being ripped out of your chest. You processed the words carefully. She doesn’t have a child yet… Not only was he leaving you for her but he was going to fall in love with her all over again and start a family with her. A family you wanted so badly to have with him.

“What about with what happened last time you tried to live a life in a different universe?” You didn’t understand how this was happening.

He was always so carful he would never do anything to cause that again. Everything you had witness Miguel work so hard for to keep safe for years. Sleepless nights, returning bruised and beaten, frustrations and constant stress. Was it all for nothing? Is he throwing all his work away?

“This is different.” He turned away from you. “I pushed myself then into an already established life. This time I am creating that life. After all the research we did on you…” He knew that this was going to tear you apart. “I learned that if done right I could have a child from two different universes that won’t disrupt anything.”

It clicked to you then that all the research he was doing on you lately was for this. The research he did on you that time was different, personal, intimate even. As he was testing your DNAs together and seeing the outcomes. He mentioned a child and you were foolish enough to assume he was doing research to see what it would be like if you both had one together. You were giddy even as you watched him work. You had both spoken about having a family together in the past but had been too busy with spider activities. You thought it was a sign of him getting more serious about it, knowing how badly he wanted one. You would have never thought he was doing it to see how he could get back his previous child. The one you could never give him.

You had truly believe that Miguel had recovered from his obsession that his grief gave him. He accidentally destroyed a whole universe needing that life back so badly. You had spent late nights watching him re-watch clips over and over of what he had lost. It slowly stopped once your relationship blossomed with him and you thought he was ready to move on and start new. Why would you have never thought that with such a perfect opportunity presented to him that he wouldn’t drop everything for it.

“I think it’s best that you leave.” He spoke with a soft tone. As if not looking at you any longer will make the problem go away. You couldn’t wrap your mind around how he was just throwing you away like this. As if he wasn’t making you dinner, giving soft kisses, whispering I-love-you’s not so long ago.

You felt too choked up to ask anymore questions. Your throat tight and painful as you held back tears from escaping in-front of Miguel. You just nodded and headed straight out the door not being able to handle another second in that room. Your knees and hands were shaky as you speed walked into the nearest bathroom and let it all out.

—

It didn’t take long for everyone else to know something had happened. Everyone had gotten used to seeing you and him sitting together at lunch. You would make him cute lunch boxes and everyone would gag a bit while watching the two of you smile together. Some cringing seeing their scary boss being so soft around you. It was a big surprise when Miguel started to eat alone with a bag of take out food and you no where to be seen.

His teams he sent out for missions were all confused when you weren’t assigned to anything. Knowing you were one of the best, one of them slipped out a “Call for Y/N!” In the middle of fighting an anomaly too strong for them. Miguel only looked away.

It wasn’t until a new woman showed up in Miguel’s office with a grip around his waist. That’s when the spider-community realized that this was way worse than they thought.

—

You on the other hand had spilled everything to Hobie when he caught you that day leaving the bathroom with puffy eyes. You had been staying with him in his universe until you could gather yourself together to return to HQ. You knew you were going to leave for good, but you needed to go back to retrieve all your things. You couldn’t stay with Hobie forever. Worse that you weren’t from there.

You still had some hope that Miguel would come looking for you and tell you that he was all wrong. However almost two months had passed and not a word from him… That’s when you knew it was time you should return to what you once knew.

Stepping into the portal Hobie followed close behind you. He told the few others who were once close to both you and Miguel that you would be visiting. Stepping through the portal you were immediately greeted by Jessica and Peter B Parker.

“Oh, Y/N.” Jess sighed your name sadly while pulling you into a hug. You felt like you wanted to cry all over again. Missing your friends so much. Peter B came behind giving you a hug on the side.

“He’s on a mission right now.” Peter spoke up. “It might be a long one too but don’t waste anytime just incase.”

You nodded pulling away from them. Looking up around the headquarters building faintly smiling at the past memories you had here. You started heading to different areas gathering all the little things you had left around. Hobie had stitched for you a cute backpack with different scraps of patterned clothes and covered in patches of punk band logos but made with hammer space technology. Making it fun for you to fill endless of your things in the bag.

The last stop was in Miguel’s office. Doubt started to fill your mind; maybe he already threw out all of your stuff. Why would he even keep it after all of this? What no one could warn you of was the other person sitting on his platform.

“Hello!” She chirped at you. It felt like the air in your lungs had just been punched out. You knew her too well. From all the photos and videos you had seen peaking over Miguel’s shoulder. However seeing her in person was something you had never expected. You knew it wasn’t the original her but it was a copy paste image for sure.

“Hi.” Was all you managed to choke out. She was beautiful, stunning. You could see clearly now the similar features she shared in another universe with her daughter. The parts that Miguel didn’t have. She kept smiling kindly at you, almost in a graceful way. You started to feel all your insecurities start eating you up from the inside. How could you have ever compared to her.

“What’s your name? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.” Getting off Miguel’s platform she walked closer to you. The room started to feel suffocating.

“Y/N.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you! It’s nice to meet other girls around here.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you realized she had no reaction to your name. So Miguel never told her about you… Or that the fact was he was still even legally married to you.

“My boyfriend isn’t here right now but, if you want, I can tell him you stopped by.” She continued as you stayed silent.

“Oh, no it’s okay. I just came in here to get some stuff.” You rushed as you really wanted nothing to do with Miguel at all. You almost worried that he might even get angry knowing you got to speak with her. If he already dislikes you this much you couldn’t even imagine how he would feel if you got in the way of this for him.

You started heading over to the familiar drawers around the room. Grabbing your old hoodies and shirts finding your most comfortable of things here. You treated this place as one of your safe spaces as you used to spend so much time here.

“Oh I didn’t know these were all yours! I was wondering why this was all around. When I came here I wanted to do some spring cleaning but Miguel wouldn’t let me touch anything.” She followed besides you. “It’s so mind blowing seeing all this technology. We don’t have any of this where I live-“ She continue rambling but you started to zone her out. You felt like you were about to have a panic attack any minute. There was one question that kept burning in your mind.

“Are you and Miguel already planning to have a child?” You blurted out. Your eyes widened a bit as you surprised yourself. She let out a loud laugh.

“Oh dear no! We have only been together about 6 months. You must be new around here so you must not know much about us.” She chuckled.

In some cruel way you were hoping she would have said yes. You had that twisted hope of maybe Miguel just keeping her to have a kid and ditching her after he gets Gabriella and run back to you. In reality he was playing the long game, he really meant it when we said he was starting over. “He’s never mentioned kids anyways. I’m not even sure if he’d like them or do well with them.”

With that statement she made you looked at her appalled. Anyone could see in Miguel how good of a father he could be. Just in the way he takes care of the society he built here. You started to realize that she really has been left in the dark. She doesn’t know anything. She probably doesn’t even know that she’s a replacement of another self. You wondered why Miguel was doing this. It felt like he didn’t just toy with you but with her as well. A man you came to love for how selfless he was, to realize now everything was for his own personal gain. Suddenly you started to feel bad for her. You couldn’t dislike her, she wasn’t doing anything wrong and she doesn’t even know.

“I got all my stuff. Nice to meet you.” Was all you could say as you zipped up your bag and turned straight around out of there. Not giving any glance back at her, you left to one of the empty training rooms to recollect your overwhelming thoughts. All of the self healing you tried the past month thrown in the garbage.

It wouldn’t be too soon that news of you going around the building was returned to Lyla. You had cut out all coms while you were gone so she immediately popped up on your watch when she found out.

“AH-“ You jumped as the tiny AI was suddenly in front of your face.

“It’s so wonderful to see you Y/N. Oh my god!”She started. Then she went on rambling about how she knew everything and had seen everything. How she didn’t agree with what was happening and was doing everything she could to convince you to stay. After 5 minutes of her rambling you stopped her to let your emotions out.

“Lyla, Lyla It’s okay. Just stop. It’s all complicated I know, but this didn’t work out. I wished Miguel just cheated on me like all the other fucked up normal men out there. That I walked in on him deep in another random girl. Though painful I could have tried fixing and fighting for us. But instead what I got was him emotionally cheating on me and chase after something he knows I can never give him.” You felt yourself choke up. “I can never ask him to give up what he longs and dreams for just for me to be happy. I lost this battle the moment he laid eyes on her.”

Finding comfort in the AI your husband made. You’ve created a bond with Lyla that Miguel found cute but you knew now this might be the last time you’ll be speaking with her.

“You can give him a family y/n… you guys have been married two years now. I know you’ve both set the thought aside until the multiverse issues are better but you can fight for him. You have to snap him out of his fantasy. He still thinks about you.”

“Lyla you know deep down truly he never just wanted a family. He wanted exactly what he had. What he lost. Which should be impossible but being by his side seeing how insane the multiverse is… Good for him for believing in something so hard he’s found himself even a third chance to do it.”

“I hate that you’re being too kind about this situation.” Lyla paced around you.

“I love him so deeply Lyla. You know that very well. It’s so hard to suddenly hate him. I am angry, but I’m also emotionally drained I can’t do this.” You let out a deep sigh. “I’ve watched him long for this family when we just met. For some stupid reason when things worked out for us I thought I would be enough… When we got engaged and he would spend some days at home with me not even coming to HQ. I thought he was finally moving on not just from his grief and past but from the weight of his work. I saw a bright future for us.”

“You can still have a bright future with him! You moving here gave him a new canon event, another chance at life in his timeline. Here in his own universe! He’s just too obsessed and he’s lost himself in that.” She exclaimed with her hands up.

“Our canon event was our wedding.” Your frowned deepened. “But the universe didn’t say anything else after. It doesn’t say our canon event means we are suppose to live happily together forever I guess.”

“I’m just trying my best to be optimistic. I rooted so hard for you and Miguel when you joined the team. I know you can remember the amount of times I would force you both in rooms.” Lyla recalled.

“And I’m grateful for it… Even if this didn’t work out. I was given precious memories, not just working with you and being on this team but falling in love with Miguel. I know I’m being all depressed and hopeless but I feel like even if I move on I’ll never be able to replace him and find a relationship like this again. However he threw me away so easily and maybe he never valued me as much as I did to him.” You felt your emotions bubble. “I became who I am here. I’m going to miss everyone so much.”

“You can still stay here and work with us.” She edged on.

“I can’t just sit around here begging at his feet to return to me or moping around doing missions while watching him with someone else. I want to hate him so badly. I know he’s your boss and you’re basically hardwired to do everything for him and you’re trying your hardest to fix what you think is his right path. But think of me a little more and how miserable it’ll be. I’m the only one hurting here.”

Lyla paused and stared at you with an almost glossy-eyed look. While she worked she could see the inner term-oil Miguel was hiding and the emptiness he was turning to since trying to start new in the other universe. It just wasn’t her place to hold this conversation and he was the one who needed to get a grip of himself and really think and talk with you. She can’t be the one trying to mend the pieces for both of you together. What Miguel did was so wrong. She knew you were right and she didn’t want to see any more damage be caused to you.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She looked up at you sincerely. “I hate this outcome for you. Not only are you loosing your husband but your home. When was the last time you’ve even been in your universe?”

“Like a year ago for a mission…”

“Exactly! Even if things are over with Miguel, you have all of us here! I wish you could stay. I understand you leaving, I really do. I know a lot of us will try visiting you but I’m tied to Miguel…” You started to see how it clicked for her too that it’s most likely you might not see each other for a long time. “Even if a spider-person is visiting you I can’t just show up on their watch… It’ll go back to him and I know you wouldn’t want that. I know I’m an AI and I can’t hold real emotions but I mean it when I say I’m going to miss you.”

Tears poured down your cheeks as her words hit you. Going back to your universe is going to be a struggle. You have nothing there now. However nothing can compare to the pain of the outcome you’ve had with Miguel, and you needed out of here ASAP. Your mental health getting worse the longer you stay. Even the other spiders you have come to love can’t bring that spark back right now. You needed genuine time for yourself, even if it’s self destructive, instead of putting on a fake smile everyday here.

“Bye, Lyla.” You whispered. She nodded and waved her hand goodbye at you before disappearing. You took your watch off your wrist placing it on a nearby desk. With it you pulled the divorce paperwork out of your pocket neatly sealed and already signed on your half. Opening a portal you took your last glances at the place you spent so many loving memories in.

Tears blurred your vision as you stepped through the portal. Once your legs landed on a rooftop of a building in your dimension, you racked out full sobs falling to your knees.

You were always just the other woman.

—————————————————

Thank you so much for reading!! I know it was a longer one ~

would anyone like a part 2? If so anyone want a angsty or happy ending? I think it’ll be more in Miguel’s perspective as well!

EDIT: You can now read PART 2 here

[mariasont]

can you please write Spencer and shy!reader for valentine's day? 💕💝💖💖💞💝💖 I love them so much and I love you more

Lover Girl - S.R

summary: spencer has a hypothesis about love on vday & it’s not something you agree on pairing: post!prison!reid x shy!medialiaison!reader warnings: r going crazy over something spencer said hours ago (get a grip girl), r kinda goes out of character, spencer being the sassiest human alive wc: 1.9k a/n: thank u sm for requesting i love this and i love you even more ✨💖

The draft on your laptop was starting to look less like a press release and more and more like a psychological cry for help. Words sprawled like abandoned thoughts, entire sentences had been brutally sacrificed to the backspace key, and you'd rewritten the same transition phrase so many times it no longer felt like a real word. The whole thing read like the work of someone who had just sustained a minor head injury.

Objectively? It was bad.

Subjectively? It was an unmitigated disaster.

You blamed Spencer. Or maybe you blamed yourself for still thinking about it, for letting his words linger in your head like an incorrectly formatted footnote that you couldn't stop rereading.

You had never been a hopeless romantic, exactly, but you liked the idea of it, the structure of it. Believed it was more than a sum of its parts. More than just wires crossing in the brain and pattern recognition.

And yet, he had discarded the notion so easily, reducing love to a series of neurochemical reactions misinterpreted as emotional depth, something logical and completely stripped of any sort of real feeling.

He hadn't meant it cruelly, but his voice carried a kind of detachment that made you want to launch your coffee at his ridiculously well-structured face. It shouldn't bother you.

It really, genuinely, in no universe, should not bother you. It wasn't like you had a chance with him, so why did it matter what Spencer Reid, certified romance cynic, destroyer of sentimental ideals, and casual heartbreaker, thought about love?

If anything, his lack of belief should make it easier to kill this absurd crush before it spiraled into something unmanageable.

You squared your shoulders and looked back to the screen, back to the carefully worded Bureau-approved phrases meant to sound polished and agreeable.

Strengthening community trust. Bridging the gap between law enforcement and the public.

Meaningless, hollow, designed to be palatable without saying anything real. Blah. Blah.

I mean, did he really think that love was like an outdated scientific theory? It was Valentine's Day, for crying out loud—if nothing else, wasn't that proof of its existence?

You had considered the possibility that he had stopped believing because he had to. That prison had stripped the softness of him, turned love into just another abstract concept that didn't hold up under scrutiny, like time, like trust, like freedom.

Or maybe (and this was the more infuriating possibility) he had always been like this, too pragmatic to believe in something he couldn't technically hold in his hands.

You groaned under your breath, rubbing at your temple like you could physically press the words out of your skull, like they were just another headache waiting to pass. Why were you still thinking about this? It was stupid. He was stupid. You were stupid of caring.

Except he wasn't stupid. He was obnoxiously brilliant, the kind of smart that made other geniuses insecure, and that was the problem. Because if someone that intelligent didn't believe in love the way you did.... did that mean you were in the wrong? Had you been naive this whole time, blindly buying into a romanticized fantasy while Spencer had long dissected it and found it lacking?

The knock on your office doorframe startled you so badly that your entire skeletal structure attempted to evacuate your body, knee jerking up, colliding with the underside of the desk with an unforgiving whack.

You barely had time to wonder if you'd just concussed your kneecap before you looked up and—Spencer. Standing in the doorway like some cosmic punishment for thinking about him too hard.

Heat flooded your face like an admission of guilt, because why—why—did it suddenly feel like you'd been caught red-handed?

"Hey," he said, tilting his head. "You okay?"

No, you wanted to say. Not at all. Because what were you supposed to do when they very subject of your over analysis materialized in your doorway, looking at you like he could see every freaking unspoken thought folded between your ribs?

You swallowed, forced yourself to look anywhere but directly at him, because everything about this, about him, felt like some kind of cruel irony.

"Uh, yeah," you croaked, voice pitching embarrassingly high. Great. Perfect. Totally normal human behavior.

Spencer's brow furrowed, his head doing that thing he did when something wasn't quite right. But miraculously, he didn't say anything about it.

"I was just...," You gestured to your laptop.

Spencer nodded slowly, either accepting your excuse at face value or deciding it wasn't worth the effort to call you out.

"Right. I was just going to ask if you had finalized the press release for me to proof."

Your stomach lurched, a sharp drop like missing a step in the dark. Finalized. Bold of him to assume you'd done anything besides stare blankly at your screen for the past fifteen minutes.

"Oh! Yeah, of course," you said, throwing out the words with a half-hearted smile as if that would seal the lie. "Almost done. Just... you know, making sure it's perfect."

Spencer stepped inside, moving just past the threshold. His expression changed. Less neutral. More aware.

"You're acting strange."

Which was unacceptable, because if anyone in this scenario should be acting strange, it was him, standing there like a walking contradiction.

"I—what?" The laugh escaped before you could trap it behind your teeth, jagged and surely unnatural.

"You're tense. And you don't usually second-guess yourself this much. If it was almost done, you'd just say so." His eyes flicked to the laptop. "Did something happen?"

Your face went nuclear, looking away, hyper focused on the edge of the desk like it was the most fascinating thing you'd ever seen. "I don't know what you mean. I'm acting normal."

Spencer made a thoughtful noise. "Denial first. Then contradiction."

"I—"

"Oh, and there's the hesitation. That usually happens when you're trying to figure out how to backpedal without making it obvious."

"Do you always do this?"

"Only when people are lying about something." He squinted at you. "And you're a very bad liar."

He tapped a finger a finger against his arm in a way that made your nerves itch, before stepping forward and sinking into the chair across from your desk.

"Huh."

You frowned. "What?"

"You're doing the same thing you did earlier," he said matter-of-factly. "Avoiding direct responses, looking everywhere but me, shifting in your seat."

His gaze lingered, and then—Gods, help you—his lips curved, just slightly.

"Almost like the conversation was bothering you then, too."

Oh. Oh, this was bad. He was trying to talk about the one topic you'd spent the last twenty minutes trying to erase from your brain.

"I just, well, it's not that I had thoughts or feelings on it or anything, I just didn't, well, I mean, I just didn't want to be in that conversation, you know? Not that it was bad. Just—not my thing."

Spencer's eyebrows lifted. "So you disagreed with me?"

"I—I did not say that."

"No, but you just said everything but that." He leaned forward. "So tell me. What was it?"

You finally look at him, actually looked at him, and immediately regretted it.

You tried to gauge if there was any chance you could turn this conversation in your favor.

Nope.

"I mean, I wouldn't say disagreed, per se, I just... thought maybe your take was a little—," you sighed, "dismissive."

"Oh? And what exactly am I dismissing?"

You hesitated. Not because you didn't have an answer—because you had too many. Love wasn't just science, romance wasn't just a byproduct of biology, that it meant something. It's real. It matters. It's— "You're dismissing everything beyond your own reasoning."

You waited. For the rebuttal, the deconstruction, the inevitable moment Spencer laid your words bare and left you scrambling to rebuild them. But this time there was nothing. He just sat there. Looking at you. Like he was waiting for something else.

You fidgeted. Crossed your arms. Uncrossed them. "What?"

"Nothing. Just... thinking." A pause. "You clearly have an opinion on this, just trying to figure out what it is."

Your lips pressed together, your brain begging you to let it go, to shut up before you started. But the words were already forming, bubbling up too fast to stop.

"Okay, look. I get it. I get the science. I get that love can be explained in chemical terms."

Spencer nodded, like you were finally seeing his point.

"But that doesn't mean that's all it is," you said, sitting up straighter. "Love isn't just an instinct. If it was then why do people stay in love when it doesn't make sense? Why do people wait years for someone who might never come back? Why do people hold on to feelings they know won't be returned?"

You inhaled sharply, only to realize what you had said felt a little too personal. Heat flared to your toes. "I just, uh, you're looking at it like it's an equation when it's more like—like art. You can break down why a painting is visually appealing, but that doesn't explain why it moves people."

"So love is art then?" A small smirk tugged at his lips. "That would mean it's subjective. That one person's version of it isn't the same as another's."

"Well, yeah, that's my point." You nodded. "Everyone experiences it differently. That's why it can't be reduced to formulas. You can recreate the exact conditions of a moment, use the same words, set the same scene but it won't feel the same to someone else. Because love isn't about external factors, it's about who you're with, how they make you feel."

"That sounds dangerously close to saying it's entirely irrational."

You exhaled. "If it is, then I guess that means you'll never understand it."

Spencer pushed himself to his feet, adjusting his cuff like this was just another conversation and not something that had you actively fighting for oxygen.

Then, with an infuriating self-satisfied smile, he murmured, "Well, maybe I just need the right person to teach me."

You nearly choked on air.

And with one last glance, he grinned and said, "Happy Valentine's Day, lover girl."

taglist has been disbanned! if you want to get updates about my writings follow and turn notifications on for my account strictly for reblogging my works! @mariasreblogs

[mandalhoerian]

Repost because tumblr's tags were broken yesterday and it ate my post up 😞 Spoilers and translation notes for Rafayel's intertidal zone & analysis because it kinda floored me, I was just as a blank page as he was throughout this. I had to watch it like 5 times to understand what the story was saying and dig into chinese and japanese versions of this to piece together what was really happening. It may be my idiot brain not getting it and maybe it was like the easiest thing to understand for you but. Yeah. I may be just dumb LMFAO AND!!!! There's also a theory of mine into how Rafayel is actually able to read mc's mind/wishes through their lemurian bond, so stay tuned for that I guess

EDIT: correcting some transcriptions of chinese characters and the translations. sorry about that! google couldn't transcribe it correctly. for clarity's sake i will also include original screenshots. please tell me if anything is wrong!

EDIT 2: Check out part 2 to this as well for stuff I missed!

EDIT 3: An Abysswalker connection I found

EDIT 4: Debunking the myths of non-consent & Rafayel hurting MC in the spicy scene

So Rafayel’s whole deal in this memory, I believe, is dependency. Like, too much intensity, too much need, too much fear -- about scaring her off, about what he sees himself possibly becoming in the future, overall just being too reliant on mc and getting scared by it.

Let's begin with this massive fear of being a taker, not just in the “I’m stealing someone’s fries” way, but in this existential, soul-deep kind of way where he’s terrified of turning everything he loves into something he exploits out of demand for his art. And yeah, it’s sad when you first hear him say it, but it’s also really interesting when you look at how this all ties into his relationship with MC and his inspiration source drying up because of her.

Before Rafayel became an artist, he looked at the world in this super pure, wholesome way. Sceneries and nature were just there, things to admire and feel awe over without needing to do anything about it. Like, imagine standing at the edge of a desert, looking at a sea that’s drying up. Sure, it’s tragic, but it’s also kind of beautiful in a raw, heartbreaking way. That’s how Rafayel saw things, he could appreciate them without feeling like he had to do anything.

But then Rafayel started creating, and suddenly, sceneries weren’t just sceneries anymore. They became inspiration. He wasn’t just admiring beauty, he was extracting something from it, its meaning, its pain, its soul, to turn into art for other people. And that made him feel all kinds of icky, because now he wasn’t just looking at the drying sea. He was taking from it. Just as he's using his people's pain in his art as well, that's also a thing.

Now let’s talk about MC. Rafayel loves her like he used to love those sceneries,,, in this pure, untainted way. There's a parallel here. But here’s the kicker, he’s not the same guy who can just admire something and leave it untouched anymore.

And suddenly, this is no longer only about losing inspiration for him.

This happens after he and MC get together, and it’s like all the pain and anguish that used to fuel his creativity just.. ... dries up. He can’t find that spark anymore because now his life is surrounded by love instead of suffering. In fact, his inspiration starts coming from her and it's starting to clash with how he makes art. In the phone call, he seeks her out and says he needs her so bad and she only needs to talk to help him out. This is the first wink wink nod nod of the story.

So what does Rafayel do? He goes on this big, dramatic trip to "find inspiration" (or at least his muse), but it’s not just about his art. He’s not just looking for inspiration, he’s trying to figure out how to be less dependent on her and becoming increasingly more restless over this. The temparature and physical discomfort is making things worse, he's anxiously overthinking, and imagine trying to fight this and the longest art block as of late off when all you want to do is indulge in this special person and be comforted like a lap cat all day every day.

He understands that if he lets himself indulge without restraint, one day his love for mc will turn into pure need. He’ll become more and more greedy, and he doesn’t want that and is afraid of being abandoned because of that growing neediness and dependency.

This is in relation to his art, because as @/dat-silvers-girl put in the comments, he's struggling with "the genuine fear of not being able to enjoy anything in life because all you're thinking about how to use it (as an artist)" . what if he starts doing this to her? to their love and relationship? take from her, and become someone who only takes in every area of life -- like someone who only exploits things by extracting what he feels about them to use it for his art. he's afraid of that, he doesn't like that and possibly doesn't like himself who does it. so why should she? she would leave him for sure, in his head, that's a solid reason to.

The first time around he brings up his anxiety about MC leaving him out of the inner realization of his dependency, the possibility of just what he can become, and fear of abandonment. she effortlessly soothes his worries. It's heavily implied they did it afterwards and after hearing "her life has already been consumed by him" he tweaked out a little bit and his "obsession" seeped through.

After it fades to black, he says ほら……僕もとっくに……君に侵食されてしまっているんだ…… which means "See... I've already been completely consumed by you too" in Japanese instead of the life being made a chaotic mess localization. While I think MC's line was jokey and lighthearted, I don't think this man is joking at all. Rafayel didn't say his life was consumed by her as well, he said HE was consumed. Ouh.

This took the edge off from him for a while but they hadn't gotten to the root of the problem yet, so he was back to square one after the memorial hall, because remember, he's trying to find inspiration as an act of making this dependency of his better. Pain and suffering are all around him here, which his inspiration feeds off of. The dried up ocean he could hear weakening, the skeleton of the whale, the burden of his people and homeland more prominent than before. And what does MC do? Tear through the perspective of pain and introduce a hopeful alternative, "Isn't it a surprise to see an ocean in the middle of the desert?"

This is a place that gave Rafayel the height of helplessness and suffering when he visited by himself before despite momentarily being hopeful after the locals told him such a place existed. But now, she was there to comfort him through his loneliness and pain, hug him, and give him hope yet again. He brings up how he wanted to come here with the most important person to him when he was still hopeful about it before consumed by the pain of it all, and that wish has been granted. That moment has to be so powerful for Rafayel. Literally light at the end of the tunnel.

It had me reeling that he just sat in the car after all that, staring at her for god knows how long until she woke up. He was probably overthinking again, but my interpretation that it was heavily emotional for him (it could have meant so little for MC but the world for him, she doesn't even know) and he wanted to be in that moment with her, just feel and look without restraint. Indulge a little. (I can just imagine him going just a little bit more, I'll go after she wakes up.) And like. His eyes are shining in the darkness is the description here. Perhaps he was feeling so much here. So much love. So much happiness. And he's about to go in for a kiss (heavy breathing and everything) after that, but holds himself back and actively has to pry himself away. He's feeling the neediness again.

That’s why he makes an effort to actively wean himself off and says he'll be okay on his own. What he says to her after MC is like "spoiling him" being all "hey you're sick maybe don't go? or let's go together?" (which is NOT helping Rafayel at all) is even more meaningful in Japanese and I didn't know why they left out this context, but the rearranged line would be "Do you want me to become a sea creature beached on the sand after the sea recedes, unable to breathe on my own ever again?"

Yeah. YEAH. This is about dependency. (He's saying don't coddle me I'll literally become that wolf tearing his shirt meme 😭)

So of course his stubbornness and anxiety force him to do things without MC and distance himself, he can do it. He’s determined to prove to himself that he can endure it on his own.

I also feel like part of the reason he insisted on going to the salon alone is that he’s still worried mc might come to dislike the version of him who's someone he's so sure she will leave, who isn't perfect and he hides behind the persona he's put up just for her. If he truly becomes addicted to her and shows her everything/his true self, and she ends up leaving him, it would completely break him. He's trying to be like "im so normal about her haha" but he's so not normal about her at all. He's literally obsessed I feel like, and perhaps this is him fighting it knowing it's not healthy.

and OOOH about why he ends up coming back from the salon all hot and bothered.

I have strong context that she flicked the bean in there after he left her high and dry in the car ("hot water washes away the stickiness from my body and his stifled breaths still echo in my ears, enveloping me along with the steam in the bathroom. The warmth from his fingertips lingers in the places where he touched me..." is the english. however, in chinese, it goes "熱水洗去身上的黏膩，壓抑的喘息迴盪在我耳畔，和浴室裡氤氳的水氣一起包裹著我." stating "the suppressed breathing" -- which doesn't have any possessive adjectives when I translated it on google and later explicitly asked chatgpt if it had any his/my adjectives involved, just to be sure. it said no but i'd like it if a real chinese speaking person could give their input on this !!! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME WITH CHATGPT

so um. if the context is in fact the case that he heard her masturbating to him, the intensity with which he attacked her would be normal, I think 😭

I have belief that MC unconsciously shatters his "training himself to be without her" determination through their bond. She just keeps thinking about him the entire time. about him reading her thoughts, though. we still don't know all about the lemurian bond they share. I’d say it grants him some sort of mind/heart reading ability or connects their minds together (when she was thinking about whether she should hug him, he answered “yes”).

At the salon, I imagine Rafayel was already thinking about her like crazy. Then he realized, or perhaps, "heard" she was still worrying about him and thinking of him (as much he thought about her) and decided to go back. Rafayel probably felt that suppressing himself was only making her more anxious and unsettled. She's thinking all about him, unconsciously calling to him to come to her, she didn't want to let him go at all, wanted to go with him, etc...

but even if it was his own decision and no mind reading was involved... uh. If you ask me. He did quite literally hear her after coming back. That's also something that might make him think she wants him as much as he wants her, which made his self-restraint utterly meaningless from the start.

Disregarding this theory of mine proven wrong until a Chinese speaker helps me out here, MC returned to Rafayel's room. A translation omission happened here from what I saw. There are no possessive adjectives in the Chinese text about the room she returns to, and the Japanese one states she returned to the guest room (doesn't specify which one. She was also able to enter Rafayel's room without needing to knock before.)

so uh. she went into rafayel's room y'all. the line "this is my room, you're the one who walked in here" MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE. (SO LIKE. NOT ONLY DID SHE GO INTO HIS ROOM, SHE FLICKED THE BEAN THERE AND HE POSSIBLY HEARD IT. SHE'S MORE OF A FREAK THAN HE IS, I UNDERSTAND WHY HE LET GO AFTER THAT LMFAO)

I don't put it past him to get worked up after he finds her in his room post-bath even without my theory lmfao (idk why they put her in a dress when she should be in a bathrobe or something 😭)

His conclusion at the end of this memory that "he finds inspiration in pain and the art of creation is a part of his life. mc made him realize love and art are so alike. even if they don't complete him but burn him instead he wants them (love and art) with every fiber of his being" and MC says she doesn't like that, rightfully so.

So like. There's SO MUCH to unpack in here.

When Rafayel says he finds inspiration in pain and that creation is a part of his life, he’s admitting something raw and essential about himself: pain isn’t just a byproduct of his art, it’s intrinsic to it. For Rafayel, pain and art are intertwined in a way that’s almost inseparable. It’s like his muse isn’t just beauty, but beauty that hurts.

But then he takes this further by connecting art to love. He’s realized that both art and love demand the same from him: vulnerability, passion, and sometimes suffering. They don’t necessarily complete him (he’s not romanticizing them as salvation), but they burn him, wear him down, consume him (coincidentally, this is something he said to MC in the JP dub of this memory, that she consumes him), but also give him life. And for Rafayel, that’s the crux, even if they burn him, he wants them with every fiber of his being.

This is such a Rafayel thing to say. It’s dramatic, it’s tortured, but it’s also deeply SUBTLE. He doesn't spell all of these out, mind you, I got a headache trying to understand him. Or I'm just slow, I don't know. It shows how much he values creation and connection, even if they come at a cost.

MC, on the other hand, challenges this perspective. When she says she doesn’t like that he views love and art as things that burn him, she’s pushing back against the idea that suffering is a necessary part of creation, or love. MC doesn’t want Rafayel to see their relationship as something that requires him to hurt. She’s telling him, “You don’t have to destroy yourself to love me.”

When MC says, “You’ll never have to burn for me,” she’s giving Rafayel an alternative to his destructive mindset. She’s saying that love doesn’t have to hurt, that their relationship can exist without him sacrificing himself on the altar of passion. It’s a refusal to let Rafayel romanticize pain as the price of love.

And I love that Rafayel goes, "Will you help me look for other parts in life outside of pain?" in response. This is NOT about art or inspiration anymore, and the way the dialogue is written is just AUGH. Again I had to rewatch this over and over again for the nuances and subtext.

I love MC's response, she knew exactly what to say. “I’ll always be the one who walks along the shore with you. Of course, diving into the sea bed is fine too. If it can snow in the desert, there will be a day when the ocean returns.”

MC’s response is layered with metaphors, but at its core, it’s about unwavering support and hope::

Walking along the shore: This represents safety and companionship. MC is saying she’ll be with Rafayel in the calm, in the moments where they’re just observing life without diving into its depths. She’ll be his steady presence, his grounding force.

Diving into the sea bed: This is an acknowledgment that life and love sometimes require going deeper and they may go through hardships, into the unknown, the murky, the challenging. MC isn’t afraid of this, she’s willing to go there with him too.

Snow in the desert and the ocean’s return: This is a symbol of hope and transformation beyond being a nod to The Sea of Golden Sand. Snow in the desert seems impossible, just like the idea of Rafayel finding inspiration outside of pain might feel impossible to him. But MC believes in the extraordinary, in change, and in the possibility that beauty and creation can exist outside of suffering.

Her words are a promise: she’s willing to stand by him, to face the unknown together, and to hold onto the belief that a new way of seeing the world is possible.

And Rafayel LOWKEY PROPOSES IN RETURN.

By saying “let’s watch the sea together,” he’s accepting MC’s offer of companionship and hope in the long run. He’s recognizing that life doesn’t have to be about diving into the depths alone, it can be about sharing the experience with someone else, even if it’s just standing on the shore and watching.

“Every sea”: This phrase is key. Rafayel isn’t just committing to one kind of life or one kind of inspiration, he’s opening himself up to all possibilities. Watching every sea means embracing all facets of life, whether they’re calm or turbulent, painful or beautiful. It’s a marriage proposal declaration that he’s ready to explore the world beyond pain, with MC by his side.

So. I love that his inspiration returns after his freak is accepted by MC because he literally feels the acceptance through the bond.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. This memory DRAINED me. They were just supposed to bang what the fuck happened. Why did I have to go treasure hunting to find what was going on in this card. anyway...

[fandom]

Top 23 of 2023

Have you been aching to get your hot little hands on 52 weeks of data around original posts, likes, reblogs, and searches, all weighted and ranked and tied up into categories with a nice little bow on top? Well, today’s your day! It should come as no surprise that Artists on Tumblr reign supreme: from stunning traditional art, jaw-dropping digital art, fanart, sculptures, textile art—you name it, basically—this year’s list shows that Tumblr truly is the home for art and artists. Thank you, Artists on Tumblr, for enriching our dashboards day after day. 

Rounding out the top three, we have two iconic shows: Good Omens is live-action, and The Owl House is animated, but both have a heck of a love story at their core. The second season of Good Omens blessed us with not one but two ineffably exquisite ships, while the final season of The Owl House broke and then healed fans’ hearts in equal measure. Thanks, @danaterrace! Actually, come to think of it, the Good Omens finale kinda did the same in reverse. Thanks to you, too, @neil-gaiman! We can’t wait for season 3. 

Speaking of heartbreak and healing, Our Flag Means Death’s second season offered both in droves. The entire cast gave stellar performances, and fans couldn’t have been happier to see the kinds of representation the show displayed. Last year’s #1 topic, Stranger Things, may have dropped a bit, but trust us, you wouldn’t know it from the amount of meta, fanart, and fics in the tag. And did you hear about the live-action adaptations of both The Last of Us and One Piece? They were a preeeetty big deal this year, too. Check ‘em out if you haven’t yet (lol, of course you have). And we’d be remiss not to mention the hugely dedicated fans, fanartists, and fic writers devoting their time to all things Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Y’all deserve a little pizza, as a treat.

2023 was also a year for blockbuster movies, which of course hasn’t escaped anybody’s notice here on Tumblr. Barbie smashed box offices worldwide and left us reeling with every re-watch. How can one describe Greta Gerwig’s pink-filled opus? It certainly is one of the movies of all time. Meanwhile, with its incredible animation and soundtrack, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse introduced us to a whole new multiverse of Spider-People, opening the portal to a veritable flood of incredible OCs. And then, of course, we got a fresh perspective on an old classic when cinephiles introduced Martin Scorscese’s cinematic masterpiece, Goncharov (1973), to a new generation of film aficionados who resoundingly agree that it is, in fact, the greatest mafia movie ever made. We’re so glad this underrated film finally got the acclaim it has long deserved.

In the realms of gaming and tech, the long-anticipated Baldur’s Gate 3 has basically become everyone’s new favorite D&D/dating sim combination. Of course, the Pokémon franchise, games, shows, and Hatsune Miku collabs remain perennial favorites. Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter, sorry, we mean of course X, made waves across the internet. Similarly, the Reddit blackout drove Redditors to new venues, and Tumblr users welcomed the folks from r/196 with open arms—we’re huge fans of your memes, y’all, and you fit right in. Welcome, we’re glad you enjoy the chaos. Here’s a fun fact: if we included post metadata in Year in Review rankings, #polls, introduced in January of 2023, would have been the #5 topic on Tumblr this year. Phenomenal. 

And, oh right. Taylor Swift had kind of a big year, what with the albums, the epic global tour, and the movie and stuff. Fantastic work, @taylorswift, the Swifties on Tumblr thank you for everything.

This is Tumblr’s Year in Review.

Artists on Tumblr

Good Omens

The Owl House

Barbie

Pokémon

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Critical Role

Goncharov

Taylor Swift

Genshin Impact

Stranger Things

The Last of Us

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Elon Musk

196

Star Wars

Our Flag Means Death

Crowley | Good Omens

LGBTQ

Cottagecore

Baldur's Gate 3

One Piece

Aziraphale | Good Omens

[talksungchan]

kiss, cry, fall in love ☆ jung sungchan

୨♡୧ WORD COUNT: 19.3k ୨♡୧ PAIRING: riize's jung sungchan x female!reader ୨♡୧ TAGS & WARNINGS: figure skating!au, skater!sungchan, skater!yn, friends that kiss to lovers!au, secret/hidden relationship, fluff, angst, mentions of anxiety and skating-related minor injuries, lots of pining, lots of internal monologuing, lots of making out descriptions but no smut!, non linear narrative ୨♡୧ SYNOPSIS: jung sungchan is completely, utterly and hopelessly whipped for the struggling skater who keeps him at an arm's length, yet loves the feeling of his mouth on hers in every corner of the globe.

୨♡୧ NOTES: im sorry this is SOOOO long and its just y/n and sungchan being so cute and head over heels for each other. it's kinda a self-indulgent fic and i didn't really explain the figure skating terms, but i think you can make do without knowing what they mean (ask me anything if you wanna know tho!) pls enjoy this cute piece :) anyway, miss u seunghan!!!

⋆｡°✩

SKATE AMERICA, OCTOBER 2023

Your first love will always be figure skating. There was something about the way the cool air kissed and then smothered your face as you stepped onto the ice, and something about the way your sharp blades screeched as it cut through the top layer. There was something about the way the lights around you reflected on the glossy surface and the way you felt like you were most yourself while cutting through the air.

Your first love is figure skating, and everything to do with it- from the 5am call for training, to the sleepy drives all around the country and the world to get to your competitions, to the cheering, the gasps and the booing from the audience, to the gifted plushies making their home on your couch in your living room, to the stumbles and the landings, to the kiss and cry and most of all, to the skating.

Figure skating was also your first heartbreak- one that you were still trying to get over.

The arena you were competing in today was a familiar one, since you'd completed competitions in both the junior and senior circuit here a couple of times. Over the years, your nerves had truly eased up a little - never totally, of course, but you were always more excited than nervous no matter how well you thought you'd fare.

Still, the familiarity of the layout and the size and the ice was no help towards the pit growing in your stomach that you hadn't felt in competition in years. No matter- you woke up with that dread every single day for months now.

The stands had fallen into a hitched silence when they announced your name over the speaker. You had opened the barrier to the rink with a deep breath and one last forlorn look to your coach, who diverted her eyes quickly from you after a tense smile. It was weird; this was one of the loudest crowds in the grand prix circuit, but for you- last to skate in the short- you could hear a pin drop.

This time last year, you were on top of the world going into your first assignment of the season. You were fresh off the back of an amazing run at your very first Winter Olympics, helping your team secure gold medals in the team event and yourself a silver for your own effort. You had been skating in ice shows left and right in the midst of creating new routines for the new season, and you were on a high in life.

The season had passed well- you won gold, and then silver at your grand prix assignments, cruised through the grand prix final and then swept your discipline at nationals. You medalled for the 4th year running at 4 Continents and then all that was left was worlds.

Easy right? All you had left at the end of the best season of your career was the World Championships against all the skaters you had been consistently beating for years.

Anyway, back to the present.

You continued inhaling and exhaling consciously and intentionally for a while and it felt like forever before the first notes of your music began to boom into the arena and you could make your first move.

All eyes were on you.

It took you a split second to snap yourself from the sudden stage fright that had come over you. For a second there, you had thought that your feet refused to move from their starting position and had anchored themselves to the ice, but thankfully your brain and muscles had connected after a brief pause to send you on your first lap around the rink.

You had a few seconds to compose yourself and perform some intricate arm waving before your very first, and most difficult jump- one you had been rigorously training over and over and over again since the end of the last season when it had sabotaged your Worlds free skate.

When on the ice, the faces of the audience blurred into one continuous mass. You were thankful for this, otherwise you would be staring at the anxious expressions of hundreds of people that would bury and make home in your already fluttering stomach.

You sighed heavily to yourself before beginning the lead up to your jump. You told yourself that even if you didn't make it, it wouldn't affect how the rest of the routine went- you wouldn't let it.

You made the dreaded turn to start skating backwards and counted to 3 in your head before you turned again to take off forward, throwing your arms around yourself and launching your body in the air. You wish you could say that you knew what happened afterwards, but all you know is that you landed on the correct feet and the arena burst into cheers. You prayed that you landed your triple axel, but who knows at this point.

You let out a sigh of relief and continued with the rest of your programme that was ingrained in your mind. You were pretty much running on autopilot, which was not always what you preferred to do in competition. You wanted to be more in control, but honestly whatever got you through this skate would be okay.

The rest of the skate flew by and with each jump and element, you began to loosen up and the cloud in your mind began to dissolve. By the end of it, you could clearly make out the relief and pride splattered on your coach's face.

She gave you a tight squeeze when you opened the gate once more and cooed into your ear how proud she was of you, not that a blip in your routine would make her any less proud.

"Let's go to the kiss and cry and then i'll treat you to whatever you want," your coach Lina squeezed your hand with a reverent smile.

"Well now it sounds like you're bribing me to skate well," you grabbed a Keroppi plushie from one of the attendants that had cleaned up after you, giving her an appreciative smile.

"I always believe that you'll do well," she uttered back.

She sat you down in the middle of the bench and you gave smiles and waves to the camera pointing at you. You finally got to review yourself on the screens showing the live feedback of the broadcast and you were elated to find out that you had in fact landed your triple axel perfectly, instead of just a double.

The score blared out your season's best, just cause it was the start of the season, and it was on par with your scores from the start of last season, so you quickly celebrated and made your way to the media area and the changing rooms.

"Y/N!" you were greeted with a familiar squealing voice and were quickly enveloped in a tight hug.

"Sho! I didn't know you were coming!" you were so happy to see one of your friends around.

Shotaro pulled away and you noticed a towering figure beside him, holding a small bouquet of your favourite flowers, tulips.

"Sungchan," you smiled softly, "Hi."

His eyes were as sparkly as you always found them to be, his lips challenging the pinks on the flowers he was clutching.

He gave you a shy smile back and offered out the bouquet, "Taro and I got this for you. Congratulations on your short."

You wrapped your fingers around the stems and admired the vibrant orange and pink, "I bet you guys were holding your breaths. I know I was."

"It was incredible, as always," Sungchan assured you.

"Every skater goes through this, Y/N. We always know you're giving your best and we always believed you would recover," Shotaro hummed sincerely, "Anyway, we came because a lot of the gang is skating tomorrow. We begged our coach to let us come to this assignment and surprise you and the boys."

Shotaro was the first friend you made outside of your skating club in the junior ranks. He had approached you years and years ago, telling you he admired your skating and offered to be skating friends. In a career that was sending you everywhere around the world with never any stability, it was good to be friendly with people that could end up in the same assignments with you.

He had introduced you to the boys he had befriended himself and that was something you were so grateful for after you stopped finding yourself lonely in the cities you were drawn to.

You recalled seeing Anton and Wonbin drawn to this assignment too, but you hadn't had the chance to see them in their practice or otherwise.

"I'm gonna talk to a few reporters cause I can see my coach giving me some death stares to do them right now, but wait for me and we can get dinner? Or are you seeing the boys?"

"Toni and Bin have practice just after this and the others are watching, so we can get dinner just us and then we're hanging out in Anton's hotel suite after if you wanna join," Shotaro explained, "But yeah, go!"

You gave them both smiles and turned around to make a beeline for the press area, trying to ignore the booming feeling in your heart seeing the tall brunette for the first time in months.

⋆｡°✩

WORLDS, MARCH 2023

"Last to skate, Y/N Y/L/N."

You set off into a lap around the rink before settling in your starting position. You were well poised to walk away with the gold medal this competition, after ending up second in the short program and the competitor above you falling out of her combination in her free skate just before you. It wasn't that you prayed for the downfall of others, it was just that you had to take advantage of all you could.

Still, you were incredibly nervous. Your warm up and public training yesterday hadn't gone so smoothly considering you under-rotated your triple axel and landed your other quads shakily. You didn't know what was wrong with you- you were rounding off the best season of your career so far and this was just one last programme before you could have time to relax for a bit.

Lina gave you an encouraging thumbs up from the side and mouthed a good luck. You gave her a nod and waited for the music to start.

You had polished this routine to perfection, having performed it for two seasons already, so you were able to hit every piece of choreography perfectly as you led up to your first jump.

It was weird, the minute you began the lead up to the axel, this unfamiliar feeling began to nestle itself into your stomach and your mind and you didn't even have a split second to shake it away before you shot up in the air.

Then something snapped.

It felt like time had stopped and you were frozen mid spin in the air. The world had gone quiet and you could suddenly see the faces of everyone contort into worried gasps in slow motion. You didn't know how many times you spun in the air. It should have been 3 and half, but maybe it was 5 and maybe it was 2. It seemed like the laws of physics were non-existent as time suddenly snapped back into motion and you were on the floor the next moment.

You had no idea what was happening. Your mind had completely fogged up as you pulled yourself up. In the replays of this moment, you'd later see your coach in the background motioning for you to stop your skate and retreat, but you had bit your lip to stop the tears and continued your skate.

It was as if you blacked out for the rest of your free skate. All you remember was spinning around and around and trying your hardest to get back on track, but that was incredibly difficult when you had popped out of your quad lutz and fell again on your triple-triple. The audience was stunned, watching in silence and shock as the most likely contender of the competition was skating the worst in her entire career. Even in your junior years, you had never placed lower than 5th and you had certainly never popped out of your jumps before. You could probably count on one hand how many times you had fallen in competition, and this skate was obliterating that statistic.

You received your score in the kiss and cry stoic and unmoving. As soon as the cameras switched, you bolted to the halls of the arena while your coach shouted behind you. It took less than a minute for you to lose her as you navigated the maze of the 'backstage'. You were running on your skates (protected, of course) and you were running on some kind of adrenaline that was currently preventing you from breaking down. It would run out soon enough.

You had finally run into a corridor where the lights weren't activated until you stepped into them, so you had felt safe enough to hide in one of the rooms in the hopes they were empty.

The one you had barged into was a small dressing room, but evidently it was occupied by some people judging by the skate guards on the coffee table and the Team Korea jackets thrown on the couches. You didn't care as long as it was empty.

The silence dawned on you after the ringing that had been plaguing your ears since you came off the ice. It was then that all your emotions erupted and you fell to the floor in body-shaking sobs.

You had no idea what had happened at all. Nothing in the world could explain it and you had never felt like this skating ever again. In fact, skating always made you happy- it was the one thing in life that felt like it was for you. You never belonged anywhere else doing anything else. Skating was it.

So why did that happen?

You had heard of a phenomenon in gymnastics- the twisties. It was the sensation of losing yourself in the air, with your mind and body disconnecting in the middle of an element. It was one of the scariest things that could happen to a gymnast, and maybe that was what you had experienced.

Your tears were falling like a rainstorm on your sequinned dress and you felt the creeping of a throbbing and thunderous headache as you cried into the couch.

That was probably why you couldn't hear the door opening and a tall, young figure skater strolling in with a hum before he stopped in his tracks, noticing you on the floor, "Uh-"

Your eyes snapped to the leaning figure and you couldn't even make out who it was through the tears.

"Y/N?"

That was a voice you knew anywhere.

"Sungchan."

⋆｡°✩

SKATE AMERICA, OCTOBER 2023

"Where's your next assignment again?" Shotaro mumbled out through his mouth full of noodles. The three of you were in a hole-in-the-wall ramen restaurant downtown in the city, somewhere that one of your club-mates had recommended.

You grimaced, urging him to finish his bite first before speaking, "France. So soon."

"That's my first event," Sungchan hummed, sitting diagonally across from you.

Sungchan was one of the quieter ones around you. Of course, that possibly didn't reflect his usual personality around his friends while you were absent, but you'd noticed that in a large group, he tended to flitter on the outskirts and just listen.

"I'm off to Canada in a few days and then to Japan," Shotaro added, "I keep telling the federation to invite some lower ranked skaters to give them Grand Prix experience, but they keep including me in their domestic picks."

"Oh what a shame! You're popular in Japan!" you rolled your eyes playfully and chuckled at him, Sungchan joining along with you.

"Yeah, whatever. I want to experience other assignments. You know i've never been seeded to France?" Shotaro grumbled, "But yeah, I guess a home crowd is always the best crowd."

"The only time I experience a home crowd like that is for nationals, where all my competitors are also the same nationality. Then no one has a home crowd advantage," you mused, "I hope I make it to the final though- I haven't been to Italy in a long time!"

"I believe in you," Sungchan cheered timidly. You returned his musings with a gummy grin.

"Thanks, Sung. After Worlds I stopped believing that phrase, to be honest, but I think I'm getting better at internalising it."

"Ah yeah," Shotaro hissed, "A lot of the guys haven't seen you since. I don't know how much you want to talk about it; do you want me to tell them not to ask?"

"Thanks for being considerate, Taro," you said, "But I think i'm okay to talk about it if they ask. I think I'm coming out the other side of that dark tunnel now. And my therapist says talking about it is the best way to get over it. I guess she's paid to talk about it with me so maybe she just says that so our appointments aren't filled with silence."

Your best friend gave you an understanding nod and continued digging into his bowl of ramen. A comfortable silence fell between the three of you as you finally stopped chattering and were able to divulge into your food. You made small talk about the bowl in front of you- how good the broth was, how chewy the noodles were and how tender the meat was.

After the bill was split three ways, you huddled into the back of a taxi that was taking you to the hotel that most skaters had booked for the competition. You were squished in the middle, thanks to your shorter stature compared to Sungchan and Shotaro, but in an effort to not make Sungchan uncomfortable, you tried to scoot closer to Shotaro. It was pretty much a futile attempt considering the way Sungchan's broad shoulders sprawled over his seat and yours.

Still, you sneaked some glances over to the quiet Korean, who was peering out of the window and watching the busy streets of downtown Texas. His side profile was one you admired, with his enviable nose bridge and plump lips that were pulled into a somewhat pout as his eyes followed the people and the lights outside.

"Hm?" Shotaro poked you with a whisper, "You okay?" You didn't even know that you had dissociated and were staring expressionlessly out through the windshield.

With this, Sungchan snapped his head to you, eyebrows pulled in concern as you dismissed them with a wave, "Yeah i'm fine guys. Just thinking about stuff."

"Well don't plague that pretty head of yours. We're here tonight to help you take your mind off things," Shotaro was well aware that you still had some anxiety about skating and competing, and he mainly dragged Sungchan along to Texas just to help you through your first competition since your disastrous World's run.

Sungchan hummed along, agreeing with Shotaro and soon enough, the taxi was pulling up in front of your hotel. You rolled your eyes when Shotaro pressed on the penthouse button in the elevator; Anton often booked the most expensive suite at his competition hotels, claiming his environment had to be perfect or else it would affect his performance. Whatever, all the more space for all of you to hang out.

Sungchan produced a keycard from his pocket and you could already hear some commotion from the other side of the door. As soon as you heard the beep and the click of the lock opening, you felt a stampede of footsteps running towards the door.

"Noona!" Anton beat everyone to wrapping his arms around you, "Haven't seen you in forever."

"Yeah, I know. I've been a recluse these past few months. I missed you guys though," you giggled into his neck.

"Congratulations on the short," Eunseok hummed as he hugged you.

You received the same sentiments from the rest of the boys before you were being dragged over to the plush L-shaped sofa that they had begun to make their home at, judging from the blankets and jackets and snacks.

"Are you guys excited for tomorrow?" you asked Anton and Wonbin, recalling that the men's short program commenced in the afternoon.

"Excited, nervous; it's all the same emotions," Wonbin shrugged, "I kind of hurt my knee in practice today so hopefully it's okay tomorrow."

You winced at the prospect of an injury. It was so difficult to gauge how much certain bumps and grazes could actually affect you until you're on the ice and giving your all.

"Don't hurt yourself, okay?" Seunghan nudged his friend as he nuzzled into the corner with his blanket.

"Yeah, trust me, you don't want to make it worse," Sohee groaned. He had been dealing with a knee injury for a better part of 6 months and he was praying it would miraculously heal itself before his first assignment in one month.

You plopped down in the middle of the couch and to your surprise, Sungchan took his seat next to you. You tried not to make a big deal out of it, meeting his eyes for a brief second before turning your attention to Eunseok and Shotaro rock-paper-scissoring over who was choosing the movie. Shotaro won and the rest of you groaned, knowing that he was about to subject you to Studio Ghibli film again. For as long as you knew the boys, which was a long time, but you hardly saw them, you had cycled through the whole roster maybe 3 times over.

"How about we don't watch a movie and just chat shit instead?" Seunghan murmured sleepily from his position, "Like to start with, how's everyone's love life going? Any updates?"

You threw a pillow at him, knowing the question was directed at you. The 7 boys were attached to the hip in Korea, all training at the same rink (how the coaches managed that, you don't quite know) for the majority of the off-season. They knew everything about each other.

"Yeah, Y/N, how's your love life?" Sohee teased with a shit-eating grin.

"Non-existent, as always," you rolled your eyes, "I literally don't interact with any guys outside of the 7 of you in this room and that's even a stretch. The only man in my life is my cat at home."

"Why don't you date one of us then?"

Sungchan erupted into a coughing fit and you all looked at him strangely before deciding to address Wonbin's crazy suggestion.

"Sorry, swallowed my spit wrong," Sungchan avoided your eyes and chugged the water bottle he had snatched from the coffee table. He was thankful that everyone moved on from him.

"Wonbin, what the fuck?" you turned back to the long-haired skater, "Are you in love with me or something?"

"Psh, you wish," he dismissed, "But i'm just saying it makes sense. We've been friends for years, you trust us, you can't be bothered to go look for a man and i'm sure the thought of dating even just one of us won't kill you."

"Shut up, Bin. Did you hit your head or something cause that's some crazy allegations there," you defended, "You can't skate with a concussion, you know that right?"

"I'm legit fine," he rolled his eyes and began annoying Eunseok who was sat cross-legged next to him.

Your relationship with these boys was somewhat complicated, you would say. They were your closest friends in the skating world, but you also barely saw them and befriended each one on different levels.

You knew Shotaro better than everyone and you considered him a brother to you, meanwhile Sohee and Anton felt like your children since they adored you so much. Seunghan and Wonbin were your drinking buddies in whatever corner of the world you could find them in and you found yourself museum-hopping with Eunseok more often than not.

And then Sungchan. Ah, Sungchan.

Sungchan was just a consistent and quiet presence in your life. You didn't know much about him but he always appeared in the most random times. You weren't sure if Sungchan just treated you nicely because he felt obligated to because of your friendship with the others, or if his considerate but small gestures were out of his own friendly affection for you. There were phases that you convinced yourself that Sungchan disliked you and merely tolerated you for the sake of the others, but he would always prove you wrong otherwise in ways that you like to cast out of your memories.

Sungchan remained pretty quiet for the rest of the night, only chirping in when he felt like he could add something to the conversation, but the warmth radiating from his body next to yours gave you constant comfort. You would say the two of you were friends, but it was hard to quantify and label what you and Sungchan were exactly.

Eventually, Anton and Wonbin began dropping hints that they were tired and needed to rest up for their skate tomorrow, so you began to usher the boys into their rooms. The two competitors were sharing the three-bedroom penthouse, but with the surprise from the boys, they were having to squeeze 7 to the suite. Of course, Anton and Wonbin needed their beauty sleep, so the rest of them were cramming themselves into the 2 king beds in the third bedroom.

The two skaters bid their goodbyes first and you gave them good luck hugs, promising to watch the event tomorrow if you were able. This left the other boys and you standing around the coffee table looking at each other with no purpose.

"Uh, Shotaro and I are going to the gym," Wonbin began.

Sungchan perked up at this, "Oh! Let me co-"

"No!" Shotaro cried out suddenly, "You're not invited! Sorry! C'mon Bin let's go get changed," he dragged the smiling boy towards the spare room in the suite.

You looked around in confusion, noticing Eunseok, Sohee and Sunghan looking mischievous, "We're going to get chicken," Sohee declared, "I know you don't eat fried chicken so close to competition, right Channie? So why don't you walk our dear Y/N to her room? It's dangerous out there, you know?"

Their intention must have flown over your head as you furrowed your eyebrows together and shook your head, "It's okay Sungchan, I can go by myself! It's only a few floors down and you should rest. Must have been a long flight."

He mirrored your action as he reluctantly tugged on your arm, "It's okay; I'll walk you. I wanna get something from the vending machine anyway."

You gave him an unsure look, but relented when he returned a confident smile. You said good night to the boys who were slipping on their jackets and followed Sungchan out of the suite.

"I'm sorry they made you do that and they all just left you," you scurried after him. His long legs were definitely no match for you, "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything so you can just go down to the machine!"

"Hey," he interrupted your ramblings as the two of you entered the elevator, "Don't worry. We're friends, right? And I would hate if something happened to you on the way down. You have a pretty crazy fanbase, you know?"

You grimaced, thinking back to the time that a couple of fans had stalked you around Toronto when you had competed there once. Sungchan was right, in fairness- you never know what information people have access to.

"Thanks, Channie," you reluctantly called him by his affectionate nickname that the others loved to coo at him, "I also think they decided that you're the most eligible bachelor for me, considering they all dipped and left you behind."

"Ah, they're crazy," he rolled his eyes, "Ignore them, please!"

The two of you had reached your floor and you were glad that your room was close to the elevator. You took out your keycard from your jacket pocket and opened the door. You hadn't had time to unpack before going to training the day before, so all that was in your room was your free skate dress hanging in the exposed wardrobe to let the wrinkles drop out, and your closed suitcases in the corner of the room.

"Well, uh," Sungchan scratched the back of his neck, "Goodnight, Y/N."

"Sungchan?"

He looked up at you with glimmering doe eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to come in?" you moved aside to give him the choice to.

He chuckled in amusement, "Yeah, I do."

He stepped foot into the room and kicked off his shoes while you peeled off your jacket. As soon as the lock clicked shut behind him, Sungchan snaked his toned arms around your waist and attached his lips to yours.

Okay, confession time.

Your relationship with Sungchan was incredibly, incredulously complicated.

It all started 3 and a half years ago when your high school boyfriend broke up with you over the phone between your short and free skate in Canada. Sungchan had been the only other one of the group who was competing at the same assignment and although the two of you weren't close, the boys sent him to your hotel room with chocolate, tissues and a picture of him to rip up or stab with a pen.

You had embarrassingly cried your eyes out all over his training shirt and then pathetically asked him to distract you from the heartbreak by making out with you. You couldn't say that 18-year-old you was very smart or emotionally available. Well, to be honest, you still weren't particularly any better.

Anyway, the next day, the two of you decided to never talk about it ever again, swearing to never tell the boys anything and decided to continue with your semi-awkward acquaintanceship.

That was until the two of you stumbled into each other months and months later at a fellow skater's birthday party halfway across the world and ended up making out again in a coat closet for a good amount of time.

And then it carried on like that- finding places to make out around the globe, swearing not to say anything to anyone and then not talking about it ever again.

"We should really stop this, you know," you panted against his lips.

"You say that every time," Sungchan muttered, slotting his tongue between your lips and snaking his smooth hands to your throat, "But totally, yeah. We should stop this."

"Okay, this can be our last," you decided, as he led you over to your bed and pushed you gently down.

To be honest, you would say that you didn't know much about Sungchan despite making out with him 2 or 3 times a year because it was a correct statement. The two of you never really did anything else other than blow off some steam by making out. You never shared meals together or cuddled in bed indulging in pillow talk. It was always a transactional thing. It was weird in your head- all that the two of you did, but Sungchan was too good of a kisser for you to care about all the details of it.

"Better make it worthwhile, huh?" he peppered kisses down your neck until he reached the spot that had you putty in his hands. Sungchan knew better than to leave marks that your friends would definitely not let go of, so he just bit and sucked for a short time before connecting his lips back to yours. Your shirt had creeped up your torso, exposing a sliver of smooth skin that Sungchan attached his large hands to while he laid waste to all your emotions by kissing the breath out of you.

You didn't know how long had passed until Sungchan pulled away with blown out pupils and a pant. A small smile tugged onto the corner of his lips, which you couldn't help but poke, "What's with you?"

He giggled, "Nothing, nothing. You're beautiful, you know?"

A blush rose up to your cheeks and you broke your eye contact with him. It was weird- Sungchan seemed so confident when he was alone with you, but the moment he stepped out of the confines of your little situationship, he returned to being quiet and mysterious. You wished that you could get to know who the real Sungchan was.

"Shut up," you dismissed, cupping his chin and bringing his face down to yours. Sungchan stopped himself until your noses touched and he nudged his against yours sweetly before kissing you once again.

Kissing Sungchan felt like the world stopped spinning and it was only the two of you. All your worries disappeared and every stress left your body when Jung Sungchan's was on yours. He had this amazing power of making the world tilt on its axis the minute his lips touched yours and frankly, you were addicted to the feeling of him.

Your heart was completely and hopelessly beating out of your chest with the way his lips melded perfectly between yours and it was times like this, alone in a hotel room in a city you'll only ever see the ice rink of, that you forgot what your relationship with Jung Sungchan was.

"You should go," you murmured, halting his actions, "I have training early tomorrow."

"Yeah," he untangled his limbs from you and gave you a limp smile, "It's good seeing you again, Y/N. We haven't spoken in a while."

You internally cringe, thinking back to all those nights you sometimes contemplate texting him, only to realise you really don't text or speak at all outside of the groupchat. You think the last time you spoke was when you greeted him a happy birthday over text, and even that was a very fleeting exchange.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Channie," you felt the emptiness rise up again in your stomach as you walked him to the door. You were back to acting like nothing had ever happened between the two of you and as if walking you to your room was the only thing he did, "Thanks."

He bid you a soft goodnight and disappeared around the corner. Your hands rose up to your swollen lips and you sighed.

What were you actually doing?

⋆｡°✩

JUNIOR GRAND PRIX FINAL, DECEMBER 2017

"Urgh," you kicked the vending machine in anger as it withheld your drink in its clutches. It was a futile attempt as it sat on the edge of the shelf, taunting you. You gave it a few more hopeless kicks and groaned in frustration.

First, your triple salchow in your program was a total mess and definitely under-rotated, and now the vending machine wouldn't even disperse the drink that you paid the last of your Japanese coins for.

"Do you want some help?" a soft voice called out to you. You turned around and came face to face with who you presumed to be a skater judging from the pass hanging around his neck. He looked kind of familiar, you thought, but you couldn't put your finger on it.

You tried to give your politest, "Sure," but he could probably tell you were annoyed.

He enveloped the vending machine between his two sprawling arms and gave it an abrupt shake. You sighed in relief as you finally saw the melon milk can tip over and fall into the hole.

"Ah, thank you," you crouched down to take the drink, "I'd buy you a drink for that but I just used the last of my money."

He gave you a dashing smile, finally meeting your eyes.

Ah, wow.

He was certainly an attractive boy, with light brown fluffy hair and eyes so big that it made you swoon. This guy was almost two heads taller than you, but he was still built from the soft definition of muscles you could see from his short-sleeve top.

"It's okay," he assured you, flashing you the coins in his palm, "I was gonna buy myself a drink. I'm Sungchan, by the way. I'm a skater from Korea and I'm competing tomorrow."

It clicked in your head suddenly, "Jung Sungchan? Shotaro's friend? I'm Y/N!"

He smiled sheepishly, "I know who you are, of course," he motioned to your ensemble consisting of your competition dress, "You literally just came off the ice, you know that? Plus, Taro talks about you all the time."

You looked down at your costume and your feet that were still in your covered skates, "Oh, yeah. It wasn't my best out there. Anyway, sorry for not recognising you- Shotaro also talks about you guys a lot but he never shows me pictures. It's my fault though- I know I've probably been at numerous assignments with you guys since I've known Sho."

Sungchan popped open his can of strawberry milk, "You're quite harsh on yourself, you know that? Shotaro always says that about you. It was an amazing skate and you swept your competitors. Even if you made a small mistake, it doesn't take away from the rest of your incredible elements. You should always be proud, because those who watch you always are."

You tilted your head at him, a near-stranger offering you some comforting words, "Ah, I've never thought about it like that. I guess I'm harsh on myself because I want to do this for as long as possible. My dream is to win an Olympic gold."

"You're probably the closest out of all of us. Your skate in Norway was out of this world!" he chided. It was true- you already had a Winter Youth Olympics medal, but that was never really a predictor for the real thing- wait, he was at Norway Youth Olympics. Maybe that's why he looks so familiar to you?

You fought the smile arising, "Well, skating's an unpredictable sport; you never know what can happen. You just have to hope for the best," Sungchan opened his mouth to reply, but you could see your coach appearing around the corner, "Ah! I have to go- my coach is coming! It was nice meeting you, Jung Sungchan. I'll definitely see you around and good luck for tomorrow!"

"You too, Y/N," Sungchan watched as you bounded over to your coach, happy to see that you were in a better mood than when he first encountered you. That feeling did something funny to his stomach.

⋆｡°✩

GRAND PRIX DE FRANCE, NOVEMBER 2023

You're on top of the world, and then suddenly you're not. That's the feeling you get when your blade collides with the ice so abruptly, shooting the pain all through your body as you fall on your triple axel again.

You think that you don't even breathe for the rest of the free skate, just running on pure adrenaline pumping through your muscles to get you out of this situation. Fight or flight was really taking over, but you knew that you could never step foot on the ice again if you decide to leave halfway through.

Your coach fussed over you as soon as you stumble out, shell shocked and delirious, but not yet crying.

"Y/N?" she snapped her fingers in front of your face, "Are you okay? Go to the medical team and get that checked out now," she ordered you.

They're satisfied that you didn't sustain any injuries with that fall; you think your mind took the worst of it. You're hunched over on the examination room bed, blanket around your shoulder and shivering.

All you need right now is someone to hold your hand and tell you everything's okay.

"Sungchan?" you whispered into the phone when the call finally connects.

"Y/N! What happened? Where are you?" he sounds breathless, as if he's been running around.

"I'm in the medical room," you looked around the empty room, thankful they gave you the privacy you needed to process, "Can you find me?"

"I'm coming, don't worry," he assured you, "For now, just breathe okay? Just make sure you're breathing. In and out, okay love?"

Love.

Sungchan doesn't bat an eye on this or even try to correct himself. It's something that slips out so naturally to him and that gets your mind going at another 100 miles per hour. Well, at least you weren't thinking about your skate.

It took Sungchan a few more minutes to find the medical room, having asked two staff members along the way. The whole time, he stays on the phone, making sure you're still okay.

He knocked twice and entered the room, finding you in the corner, just staring at his contact information on your phone. Sungchan pressed the hang up button and sighs in relief as he finds you.

Reluctantly, he approached the stiff bed and wrapped his arms around you. The second he does, you melt into his embrace and he's more confident to squeeze you tighter.

Your body begins to shake with sobs and Sungchan feels his shirt become damp, so he places his hand on your head and gave reassuring pats.

"Ah, let it out, Y/N. I know how hard that must have been for you," Sungchan whispered, hoping and praying he was saying the right things.

Falling was nothing new to Sungchan. He fell every day, even. But the immediate feeling you get after it never gets any better. You just have to get better at dealing with the aftermath. He knows you've fallen countless of times before, but after a nearly-traumatic competition all those months ago, he understands why nearly 8 years into your career, you're starting to deal with these new anxieties.

"You're okay, Y/N, you're safe," your sobs let up after a while, but he can still tell that you're still crying, "This is nothing. You're still in the Grand Prix Final and you're still the most amazing skater in the whole world."

You pull away and gave a half-hearted smile through the tears, "Just cause I'm having a breakdown doesn't mean you need to lie to me."

Sungchan is in awe at how beautiful you still look despite the tears rapidly falling. He tucks the hair in your face out of the way and tried to wipe some of the tears, "I'm not a liar. You're my favourite skater and you always have been, ever since juniors."

"Have a crush, do you?" you teased, sniffling and trying to finish up the release of emotions.

"And how bad would it be if I did?"

You tried to ignore him, you really did. You tried to ignore the way his words sent impulses straight to your heart and brain and made you dizzy.

Look, you weren't stupid. You were nearly friends with benefits with this guy and you knew how that usually ended- lovers or enemies. You had been suppressing any emotion all this time to postpone finding out which one you and Sungchan were gonna end up as.

"Y/N?" he called, pulling you out of the trance.

"Hm?"

"Come to Paris with me for a couple of days," Sungchan hums, taking your fingers and playing with them, "I'll help you take your mind off it all."

"Just you and me?"

You think about Eunseok and Seunghan, and how they had expressed their desire to come to Paris after the competition.

"Just you and me," he stated, "Let's just- keep it between us. A healing trip."

"What are you healing from?"

He brings his face close and nudged his nose against yours, "Seeing you cry breaks my heart every time, but I'm glad you come to me."

⋆｡°✩

Sungchan holds your hand the whole 3 hour drive to Paris the next day. While you were feeling better, and watching him skate to a gold also made you happy, you were still fighting your inner thoughts. You look over to your companion, his head resting on his shoulder with his pink lips slightly open as he let out deep breaths. He looked so pretty sleeping, you thought to yourself.

You felt like you were in a romantic film, to be honest. Outside the windows were the sprawling countryside of France between Angers and Paris, and his hand was intertwined with yours and you were sharing an earbud each from his wired headphones connecting to his phone.

You wish you could fall into a slumber like he had, so you wouldn't have to be faced with these thoughts about the two of you. Since your arrangement with Sungchan started, you refused to think about the possibility of anything more between the two of you, convincing yourself that friends was the only title you were destined to bear. When you think about it, you're actually in a much dire situation than you wish to be in. You know you'll have to confront these feelings soon enough the more that Jung Sungchan entwines his life with yours.

Then again, Jung Sungchan has always been in your life.

The minute after you met him at the Junior Grand Prix final when you were 16, you suddenly began to notice him all over the world. He was at nearly every grand prix assignment, every challenger series you participated in and every corner of the world. He was always just there and you never really realised that until recently.

It started off as shy smiles between the two of you and 'good luck's' in passing, and then happy waves and asking each other how you were. When you finally turned 18 and had more freedom at the competitions, you were able to explore town with the boys, Sungchan always in tow since the world loved to put the two of you together.

You didn't know everything about Sungchan but he had already seen you at your worst and at your best. That has to mean something, right?

"We're almost at Mr. Jung's requested destination," your driver cleared his throat, breaking you out of your spell.

You thank him quietly and face the task of waking up what you believe to be the most beautiful sleeping boy in the world.

You reached up to his eyes, pushing the hair out of the way and you cup his warm face with your cold hands. His eyelashes began to flutter, until he woke up at your touch.

"We're almost here," you told him.

He squeezes his eyes shut adorably as he stretches out his body, never breaking his hold on you, "Ah, I fell asleep? Sorry, I didn't mean to!"

"It's okay," you shrugged, "You must be pretty tired considering you had the whole competition and you were last to skate at the gala. You did so well yesterday."

You thought back to how you also met up for drinks with the other boys that night and didn't get into your hotel until 2 in the morning.

"I wanted to spend some time with you, though," he pouted and your head spins at the thought of wanting to kiss the pout off his face.

"We have a few days," you reminded him, "Speaking of, where are we going?"

Sungchan pulls his lips into a sheepish grin, "You might hate it but give me a chance, okay?"

He's right in saying that you absolutely hate the thought of it the second you stepped foot in the building. You pleaded him to do literally anything else in the world as he paid for the tickets and led you past the barriers. You're slow in putting on the equipment and grumbling as you meet him by the gate.

The ice rink is busy, bustling with teenagers, families, couples and everyone alike.

"Give me a chance," Sungchan echoed as he extended his large hands towards you. You nearly laugh at this gesture, considering the two of you were definitely the most experienced skaters on the rink and the possibility of falling was nearly 0, but then you look up at the other couples and groups on the rink, all holding hands as they tried to keep themselves upright.

"We've just spent the last week going around and around the ice until we were going crazy," you began as the two of you set off on a leisurely lap, "And your very best idea for our so called 'healing' trip was to do the same thing?"

He looked at you pleadingly, "Look, I know I can't change the way that skating makes you feel instantly in one day. But I want to get to know you a bit more- find out why you love skating in the first place and hope that I can help you in your journey in falling back in love with skating."

You're struck silent by his explanation, mouth agape. Sungchan smiled softly, tugging on your hand and doing some more intricate steps as you followed. Looking around, there were people of all abilities- adults stumbling and adults gliding, teenagers falling and teenagers spinning, and little children across the whole spectrum of abilities. You awed at the little girl who fell, but got back up immediately, cheeks flushed but expression determined.

There was some couples that you could make out- one partner would be hobbling, holding onto the railing, and then every so often, their more gifted partner would catch up to them in their lap and make conversation, usually grinning and laughing together despite the disparity in ability. You could see the couples holding hands, reassuring each other that they were supported and they weren't gonna let the other fall.

"I was already 9 when my parents first put me on the ice. I fell so many times that my legs were bruised and bleeding up and down both sides and they had to stop me from skating because I was tracking blood and it was a biohazard," Sungchan began, "I hated skating so much at the beginning because I was so bad and I hated being bad at things. I begged and begged my parents to put me into lessons and I was determined to be the best. I hit a stump when I was 13 and puberty hit. I hated how all the easy jumps I could land were suddenly the most difficult thing in the world and it took me a while to find my balance again since I grew so tall in a short period. The time that I hated skating made me realise all the more how much I loved it because it was just showing how much I was willing to give to the sport. That's it, that's my story."

"That's your whole story?" you let go of his hand and skate around him, holding eye contact.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "That's all there is to me. Once I started skating, nothing else mattered. All I do is hang out with you and the boys, and get on the ice at every other time. What's your story, Y/N?"

The two of you skate around an adorable child clutching onto a penguin aid and join again at your hands as you reminisced, "My older cousin loved to skate, so when she would babysit me, she would take me to the rink. At first, my parents hated the idea of that since they didn't want me to get hurt, but I took to skating immediately. It became my life too. School was hard- I was always leaving school early or coming late because of practice and I would be missing days at a time for competitions. I never made many friends at school because of that, so skating was my only friend. I loved everything, but I guess I'm hitting my stump now."

Sungchan hummed and nodded along, "Do you know why?"

"I know it's all in my head," you affirmed, "Me and my therapist agree. I know I can do these jumps and I know that I still do love this sport deep down. I think all the pressure is mounting onto me- you know, continually being the best? But it's all I have and it's driving me crazy. It's the only thing I can take pride in and I think I need something new alongside skating."

"Like what?"

"You're definitely helping," you admitted, looking down, "Not just you. Spending time with you guys is giving me a bit more purpose in life- striving to form better friendships. But you've helped me a lot."

Sungchan grins down at you, surprising you by planting a kiss at the top of your head. He had never been affectionate in public, considering the two of you were keeping a secret from the world, but in this small rink in the outskirts of Paris, he felt like he could shout to the world how he felt about you.

"I don't want you to dread competitions or tear yourself up over your falls. I know there's nothing I can personally say or do to help you, but I just wanna be here for you," Sungchan's words are nearly a confession, but you push that aside as you come to a halt by a little girl falling in the middle of the rink.

"Hey," you coo in your best French, "Are you okay?"

The little girl grabbed your hand with her little fingers and you swooned at how tiny she was. Her eyes are brimming with tears as she tries to find her feet again, so Sungchan grabs her other hand and helps her to stabilise.

He looks over at you, fondness in his eyes as you try to set off the little girl into a slow routine. She's giggling when she is finally able to skate on her own and she thanks you in a cute little voice when she does.

"What's the likelihood that she's gonna be a figure skater when she's older?" you lean against Sungchan's frame, watching her shoot off into the bend.

"Hm, pretty high. You just showed her that if someone's there to pick you up after you fall, it's all gonna be okay."

⋆｡°✩

GRAND PRIX FINAL, DECEMBER 2023

"Song Eunseok," you greeted your friend with a tight hug, and turned to the other, "Park Wonbin! Haven't seen you in a couple of months."

Wonbin affectionately nuzzled his head into your neck, "Did you miss us?"

"I don't know if miss is the right word. Maybe, noticed your absence is better," you teased back, "Isn't this exciting?"

The three of you took your seats right in the front row of the area you had reserved, you in the middle as you watched your best friends warm up on the ice. The other 5 were all participating in the grand prix final, having had the best results in their assignments of the season and were about to compete in the free skate to determine the medalists. Yours had just finished in the slot before, but you were still awaiting the awarding ceremony, hence you still in your costume.

"I would like to be on there with them," Eunseok grumbled, waving hello to a passing Shotaro, "But getting to watch with you isn't so bad."

"There's more seasons to come," you nudged his elbow, "Everyone's on top form this season."

"Especially you, our newly crowned Grand Prix Final gold medalist," Wonbin excitedly clapped, "Three in a row, how does it feel?"

"Like the pressure is still crushing me," you dismissed, "But thank you, Bin. I'm happy."

You steer the conversation along in a different direction, talking about the boys' program and what you were looking forward to see. Anton had a mean quad combination, meanwhile Shotaro's dance elements and step sequences always blew everyone else out of the park. Although you had watched these routines time after time each season, you never got tired of how talented your best friends were.

"Ah right, you went to Paris right? After your assignment there?" Wonbin asked you suddenly.

Your face flushed beet red immediately, "Oh, how do you know?"

"You posted a picture of the Eiffel Tower on your Instagram," Eunseok butted in, "Who'd you go with?"

"Ah, no one you know. Just stopped by on the way to the airport," you lied through your teeth and you hated that you had to do that, but it was your decision anyway.

Sungchan was nearing your side of the stands, and he slowed down significantly as he sent the three of you a wave. You hadn't seen him yet since the end of your free skate that crowned you gold medalist, since he had to prepare to be on the ice immediately afterwards.

"Something's up with Sungchan these days," Wonbin began, eyes trained on the tall figure skating away.

"What makes you say that?"

"I'm not sure," he replied, "But he's like, uh, happier these days? But also more secretive? He's always on his phone and smiling at it and he always sighs when we mention setting him up on a date. Do you think he has a girlfriend he's keeping from us?"

Eunseok nodded along, "I've been noticing that too, actually. What do you think Y/N?"

Your ears flushed red and you prayed they wouldn't notice as you kept your eyes on the boys warming up, "Why are you asking me? You guys spend the most time with him. Plus, why don't you just ask him yourself or wait for him to tell you?"

In all honesty, you were burning with guilt about keeping such a huge secret from the boys, but you and Sungchan were suddenly treading into new territory that you wanted to navigate together first before anything else.

"When we ask him he just changes the topic," Wonbin answered, "To be honest, I thought he had a crush on you. We all did."

"Me?" you exclaimed, looking between the two of them nodding.

"He always talks about you and we thought that was so weird considering you two didn't even seem that close. Channie always asks Taro how you are and we're like: 'why don't you text her yourself?' and then he gets all shy and flustered," Eunseok rambled, "But I guess not."

"Yeah," you trailed off the word, decidedly ending the conversation as the boys evacuated the rink for the first skate.

The thought of Sungchan asking the boys about you made you feel some way- happy, maybe? It was so adorable that he thought of you and that texting you made him shy. You weren't stupid- Sungchan made his intentions clear towards you, but the two of you drew a line and stayed behind it, so you weren't sure what to think. These days, it seemed like Sungchan was destroying that line inch by inch.

Anton was first to skate, so the three of you focused your attention to him instead. A grand prix final with 5 of your best friends was definitely conflicting, but the boys all agreed to never get angry or too competitive with each other and just cheer for each other. Whoever won, won and that was that.

You were glad that all the boys were making it through their programs cleanly and the scores were all in such close proximity to each other that it was actually unclear who might win. Sungchan was last to skate by luck of the draw and by the time it was his turn, you were nearly biting your nails off in anticipation.

While you try not to have favourites between the boys, considering them all to be equally talented in their own ways, Sungchan just had a way of skating that spoke to you. You determined this even before your arrangement.

For a skater his height, he was incredibly graceful with long limbs creating beautiful lines and silhouettes. Despite his abnormally broad shoulders, his jumps were well balanced and tight, and his athleticism made all of them look so easy. His choreographer and coach really used all of his features and abilities to create the most visually stunning and technically superb skate.

"Hyung's been on fire this season," Wonbin muttered beside you, in awe of his friend that was so magnificently treading the ice.

"He's incredible," you agreed softly.

Sungchan was incredibly passionate about figure skating. Of course, you all were since it was your careers and if you didn't love what you were doing, you would quickly burn out. He just had this fire in him that you hadn't seen reflected in other people in a very long time, and that's what you admired about him.

Pushing your own feelings for him aside, you watched him intently as he led up to the most difficult skill in his arsenal- the three of you in the stands all linked arms and muttered prayers and pleadings. It felt like you were on the ice instead- you couldn't breathe until it was over.

"1, 2," you counted under your breath as he took off into his quad lutz. It was almost as if you watched him jump in slow motion, counting every turn until he landed, switched sides of his blades with an euler, before taking off into his triple flip.

You were still holding your breath when Wonbin and Eunseok dragged you up as they jumped up to cheer and whoop at the clean landing and combination. Jung Sungchan was truly one of a kind.

"He's so good," Wonbin squealed as you sat back down to watch him finish off his program, "Crazy good."

You're completely captivated by him for the rest of his skate and it even takes your coach multiple tries to catch your attention to tell you to come down to prepare for the victory ceremony. You plead to wait until Sungchan finished his skate and she just clicks her tongue and gives you a knowing smile.

The rest of the event goes by in a whirlwind, accepting your medals and flowers and taking pictures with your fellow medallists. You speak to some media and change into your comfier clothes, relaxing in your self-prescribed dressing room, which was just an empty room with a table and a couple of chairs.

A knock at the door snapped you out of your trance thinking about your program, and you shouted for them to come in.

"My gold medalist," Sungchan grinned over at you from the door as you jumped up to greet him. He's holding a gorgeous arrangement of flowers in his arms, extending it to you once more, "A gift from us."

You took the flowers, admiring the colours and the smell, before placing it down with the other gifts and your medal, "You guys are always so sweet to me. Congratulations to you as well; that was one of the best programs i've seen in my life!"

"Thank you, Y/N. And Taro says you're our only ice princess so we should spoil you," Sungchan chuckled, slowly approaching you closer and closer, "Anyway, they asked me to come and get you so we can go and get dinner together."

"They asked or you volunteered?"

A smirk took over his face, "Now why would I want to get you alone?"

"Who knows?" you teased as his large hands cupped your cheeks and guided your face to his. All tiredness left your body as you melted into his kiss and you wished that time would stop so you could do this forever.

He captured your lips with his own soft and plump lips, nibbling and kissing so softly and delicately, as if he would break you. It was worlds away from the way you two would make out ferociously in dimly lit hotel rooms after competitions ended at night. It was intentional, sweet and utterly heart-clenching.

"My gorgeous champion," Sungchan murmured against your lips, connecting them again passionately as he snaked his arms around you.

"Channie, we talked about this," you whispered, "We're just getting to know each other still."

Sungchan playfully rolled his eyes and left a fleeting peck before he pulled away, "I know, I know. Let's go before the boys get suspicious?"

He offered out his hand after you picked up all your things and you laced your fingers together and walked out side by side.

⋆｡°✩

PARIS, NOVEMBER 2023

November in the city of love and enlightenment was certainly a chilly ordeal. You were wrapped up in infinite layers, face red and tucked behind a wooly scarf and hat. You would think that since your profession was being around literal ice all day that you would be acclimated to the cold, but Paris was tearing you a new one with its weather.

You and Sungchan were taking a stroll by the River Seine, people watching and basking in each other's quiet company. The thing with Sungchan was that you felt comfortable with him; you's been friends for 6 years anyway, but all this time, you had kept him at arms length in order to protect your heart. Sungchan was still somewhat of a mystery to you- all his thoughts and all his feelings unknown.

"I heard that at night in the summer, they have people play live music here and people will dance along all night," Sungchan sighed, watching the couples stroll by with arms and hands interlocked, bundling together tight to warm each other up.

"That really sounds amazing," you replied, trying to stop yourself imagining dancing with Sungchan by a twinkling river on a cool summer night, "I want to come to Paris again when it's warmer and fully explore it!"

"We should do a trip," Sungchan said and you don't even ask if he meant as a group or just the two of you.

"Y/N?" he called again.

"Hm?"

He stopped to lead you to an empty bench, sitting with a considerable gap away from you before he made the bold move to shuffle closer. Sungchan stared you in the eyes with a longing gaze, "How come you trust me so much? How come you let me stay through your vulnerable moments when I know you don't do that with the others?"

You paused to think momentarily about his question that you'd pondered yourself during sleepless nights many times, "You're always just there. Whenever I end up in a situation like that, you somehow always find me like you have some spider-sense that i'm breaking down. And your presence calms me; you don't even need to say anything," you talked through your thought process slowly, trying to make it make sense in your head as well, "I feel like you understand me well whereas others may feel like I'm self absorbed and selfish for freaking out over such minor mistakes. And I can just feel in my heart that I can trust you. Thank you for always being there for me, Sungchan. I hope I don't burden you with my own breakdowns."

Sungchan smiled shyly, taking your gloved hands between his, "I'm really thankful that you do trust me. Don't ever think that you burden me because I do want to be there for you. Me and the boys hate seeing you so upset, so whatever I can do to help you through is nothing for me; we're in such a demanding field that it's important to have a good support system."

"You guys have really made my career. I don't know how I could have lasted this long without all of you," you emphasised the 'all', hoping he would catch on to your allusion of how special he was to you.

"You know, Y/N," he began, voice suddenly shaking and nervous, "I've been meaning to get some time alone with you in the daytime to talk for a while now."

You chuckled anxiously, "Did you take me to Paris to break up with me? Break up as in end our arrangement?"

"I like you, Y/N," he deadpanned, dismissing your pessimistic comment. Your heart started beating fast instantly, "I really like you and I can't carry on what we have until I tell you. We can move forward however you want: we can end the arrangement or just carry on as we are, but I just wanted to tell you."

His words don't shock you much. You think Sungchan has been confessing in his own little gestures and actions for some time now, but he finally threw the ball in your court.

You looked down at your intertwined hands, smiling softly and exhaled a puff of white frost, "We were bound to fall for each other, right? I just don't want to to hurt you since I've been in a bad place this past few months. I'm slowly getting out of it, but I just don't want to drag you down with me."

"I just want to be by your side," Sungchan whispered gently, "I just want to be able to kiss you in front of the world and call you mine."

"In front of the world?" you teased, ignoring the way your heart was swooning at his sweet confession.

"I know it's selfish of me, but I don't want to hide you forever," Sungchan voiced out, "I want to text you how you are and not feel like I'm overstepping and I have so much more of myself I want to give you."

You finally met his eyes again, "Let's make a deal, Jung Sungchan. Let's get to know each other well and more intentionally over the rest of the season and try that out. When it ends, we can think about what's next."

"I like the sound of that," Sungchan grinned, "I can still kiss you though, right? I think I'd die without it. The months between Worlds and your first assignment was hell for me."

"You're so dramatic," you rolled your eyes playfully, nudging your shoulders against his.

"Y/N?"

"Yes, Sungchan?"

"Does that mean you like me back?"

You let out a laugh that Sungchan swears is the best thing he's heard in his life, and you pulled him by your entwined hands, telling him you want to go see the Eiffel Tower.

⋆｡°✩

SOUTH KOREA, APRIL 2024

Shotaro is smiling happily as he placed the orange juice pouch in front of you on the sand. You're sat on a blanket, knees tucked up to your chest as you watched the waves crash against the rocks peacefully. You think it's a good time to swim since the tide might be too strong later.

"Thank you," you coo at your best friend as he laid down beside you, flicking his sunglasses over his eyes.

You pierced the pouch with the straw and let out a happy sigh as the freezing cold juice invaded your taste buds. Late April in the south coast of Korea was thankfully warmer than the previous weeks you spent in Seoul with a new choreographer, piecing together your new program for the upcoming season.

The beach house behind you does very little to block out the sun, considering the sun is shining the opposite way and down to you, so you had made sure to lather up in sunscreen before relaxing on the beach. You had read half your book before Shotaro woke up from his short post-breakfast power nap and decided to join you on the sand.

"I think Anton and Sohee are still asleep cuddling," Shotaro laughed. You had tried to wake up the pair for breakfast, but they had both grumbled and sent you on your way back to the kitchen, nestling into their shared bed even more.

"They can be in charge of lunch then," you huffed, "When's everyone else coming? What time is it?"

"It's only 11:30," he told you, "I think the other 4 are all arriving together soon- maybe around now."

You, Shotaro, Anton and Sohee were able to make it first to the beach house that you all booked for a peaceful week and a half trip. You had already stayed the night, but the other boys had commitments that meant they could only come now. It was all fine, since you were there for a pretty long time anyway.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as Shotaro closed his eyes and took in the fresh sea breeze.

"How have you been since Worlds?" Shotaro broke the silence.

"Better, but I'd hate to find out if my happiness only stems from redeeming myself at this year's Worlds," you recounted. The last time you had seen the boys previous to the trip was the Worlds Championship the previous month, the same competition that caused a year-long spiral down into near insanity. Thankfully, you managed to escape scot-free and with a gold medal around your neck.

"How does it feel now stepping onto the ice? Does that dread still overcome you?" Shotaro asked softly.

After your worst skate on the world stage, it had taken you nearly a month to step back onto the ice since every time you attempted, you were instantly tossed back into that moment. It took another month before you even tried attempting your signature triple axel again. At your first assignment, you had felt fear instead of excitement as you began.

"I don't think so," you said lowly, afraid that if you said it with anymore confidence, it would come back to haunt you, "I think i'm on the other side completely. I have you and the boys to thank for that."

Shotaro smiled proudly, grabbing your hand and squeezing it tight affectionately. You missed speaking like this to your best friend, just the two of you- on rooftops, beaches, cafés, ice rinks, diners- spilling your hearts and confiding in each other. You hated that you were still keeping such a big secret from him.

"Hyung? Noona?" you heard a soft voice call out behind you. You turned around to find Anton peeking only his head out of the double doors at the back of the house overlooking the beach, "The others are pulling up!" The two of you shot up, picking up your blanket, your book and your trash before skipping through the sand to reach the house.

You were nervous, quite honestly, but the good kind, which was new for you. You hadn't seen Sungchan since Worlds (though you've stayed much more connected than in the past when apart) and all you could think about was the agreement between the two of you to revise your arrangement once the season had ended. And it has.

However, the talk was still pending.

You joined Sohee and Anton watching from the wide open front door as the boys were getting their bags out of the car trunk and rolling it up the driveway.

"Vacation time!" Seunghan whooped, dancing into the house with his suitcase in tow and a plastic bag filled with clinking glass, "We're going to get fucked up this week!"

"Well hello to you too, Hannie," he approached you with open arms before you were pulled away into another hug.

"Hmph," you were taken by surprise as Wonbin crushed your frame.

"Haven't seen you in ages," he said sadly. He wasn't at Worlds since he had injured himself slightly at 4 Continents before that, so it had been a while.

"How are you?" you poked his arm, "How's the knee?"

"It'll be totally fixed up before the season starts," he dismissed, grinning at you before going to greet the boys. You quickly hugged Eunseok and turned your attention to the last one through the door.

"Sungchan," you quickly enveloped his waist in a tight hug and he wrapped his arms around your neck and leaned down to your ear.

"Hey there," you could feel him smiling, "Missed you."

You pulled away quickly, trying to not be obvious in front of the boys, simply giving him a smile of reciprocation as you all migrated to the living room.

"D'you guys claim rooms already?" Eunseok looked around at the interior of the beach house.

"Hm," Sohee nodded sleepily, "Anton and I took the double bed on the right of the stairs and there's a room with another double across it."

"My room has a single bed and a double so two more of you can stay with me," Shotaro explained, "Then our princess Y/N gets the master bedroom all to herself."

You grinned teasingly at the boys who affectionately cooed at you and your overpacking. Your clothes were all currently sprawled out everywhere since you dug deep into it to find your pyjamas the night before and didn't bother to unpack properly.

"Dibs on the single," Eunseok rushed out, to which the other boys groaned at, "What? Shotaro likes to cuddle at night and I get too hot for that."

"I'll cuddle with you, Hyung," Wonbin said cutely, wrapping his arms and leg around Shotaro's side. Shotaro chuckled and fondly agreed.

"Yay, we're roomies!" Seunghan tugged on Sungchan's arm, "What are we doing today?"

"How about relaxing?" Wonbin groaned, "Sleeping?"

"Yah, you already slept the whole drive down!" Eunseok protested, "We can unpack and then grocery shop?"

The others seemed to decide that was a good idea so you also headed up to your room to sort out your clothes. Normally, you never properly unpacked in the countless hotel rooms you stayed in, since you only every brought your skates, your costumes and a couple of comfortable sweats to lounge in in between skating sessions. However, since you were staying for a while and doing activities (Shotaro made sure to book a place far from any ice skating rinks), you had to bring a lot of clothes.

Leaving your door open as you sat on the wooden floor and arranged your clothes into piles, you saw Eunseok and Wonbin drag their suitcases up the stairs and onto your wing of the house and they peeked in.

"Wow, noona this room is so nice," Wonbin expressed, "You're so lucky."

"Yeah I deserve not having to share with you guys. You're all pigs," you threw a sock at him that he threw right back.

"Guys, come look at the master," Eunseok craned his head and called over to the other boys bringing their bags up. Eunseok and Wonbin crossed the landing to their room to make space for the approaching Seunghan and Sungchan.

"Wow," Sungchan gasped in awe as he traversed the room and past you, "A bay window looking out at the sea?" He clapped happily as he stretched out across the cushions on the bay.

"Yah, get off! It's mine," you pouted, getting up from the floor to check the view outside. Since you arrived after the sun had already set, you didn't get to see what the view was like before and in the morning, Shotaro had dragged you straight down to the kitchen without even letting you do so much as brush your hair.

You could see from the corner of your eye that Seunghan had turned around and closed the door behind him, which left you slightly suspicious.

"Why did he close the door and leave?" Sungchan frowned, sitting up and patting the cushion next to him for you to have a seat. You sat down, twisting your body to examine the view. It was so peaceful and you couldn't wait to see how the sunset would illuminate your room in vivid colours.

"Beats me," you shrugged, "Did you tell them anything? They've been suspicious that you've been dating someone since grand prix final!"

"Yeah, I know. They keep bugging me about it," he rolled his eyes, "But I haven't said anything!"

"Hm," you hummed, "Anyway, how was the drive up?"

"I called shotgun then Eunseok demanded that I stay awake the whole time to keep him company," Sungchan recounted, "Seunghan and Wonbin were completely knocked out in the back, but it was a nice and smooth trip. What have you guys been doing here?"

"We all just explored the house and then went to bed last night pretty quickly, but Taro and I had breakfast and sat on the beach for a bit before you guys came."

Sungchan shuffled over, his hips bumping against yours, "Mhm, sounds nice! We should take a walk on the beach later. A nice long walk on the beach."

"Just us?" you inquired, brow raised.

"To be honest, I'm not really sure how to get you alone without the others being suspicious. This is probably suspicious enough," he pointed at the door, "They're all probably on the other side with their ears pressed against the door."

"We could just tell them," you suggested cautiously, "That we're getting to know each other?"

Sungchan dropped his head onto your shoulder and sighed, "I like keeping this to us. Our own little secret. It's fun for now, but maybe when we get a bit more tired we can tell them. We'll find a way to spend time with each other a little bit, but I guess it's a group vacation after all."

"Yeah, let's not stress," you agreed. Sungchan started playing with your fingers, twisting your rings and measuring up his large hands with yours before he entwined them together. He peered up at you from your shoulder and reached up to press a kiss along your jawline. You rotated your head to look down at him and before you know it, he had stolen a kiss from your lips.

You nudged him off of your body playfully as he tried to lean in for another kiss, "Go unpack! Hannie's gonna get suspicious!"

He feigned displeasure as he got up and stretched high, nearly touching the ceiling, "Mhm, okay, whatever you say. I'll see you later, love."

You bit back a grin, "Bye Channie."

⋆｡°✩

Sungchan is pushing one of the shopping carts as Shotaro and Sohee trailed behind him. In reality, they should be ahead, but they stopped far too often to point at random things and Sungchan was getting impatient. The three of them were on snack duty, while you, Eunseok and Wonbin were on ingredients duty, as you were the best cooks. Anton and Seunghan had skipped away the second you all arrived and every so often passed by and dumped an armful of things in the cart.

"What kind of crisps should we get?" Shotaro placed his hands on his hips and examined the vast wall of options in front of him. He picked out a few, Sohee following also and placed them in the cart.

Sungchan spotted a rare flavour to find, "They have truffle flavour! Let's get this. I think Y/N likes these."

"How'd you know that, hyung?" Sohee questioned, not interrogatively, just nonchalantly.

"Uh- I think she's mentioned it before," Sungchan stammered, "Let's get drinks."

Shotaro shot him an unsure look, but skipped ahead of the cart anyway to find the beverage aisle. From a few aisles down, Sungchan could hear you laughing with Wonbin and Eunseok and he wished he was by your side.

Eventually, you all converged at the checkouts, carts full and wallets about to be emptied, metaphorically. You had chosen a bunch of meats to grill on the patio down to the beach and lots of ingredients to make side dishes and other random things. The three in charge of cooking followed their task diligently, whereas Anton and Seunghan had produced a pool floater, a bunch of water guns and so many hangover sticks that you were all worried about how much Seunghan was going to force everyone to drink.

You returned to the house in two cars, the same groupings as how you came to the house and rapidly unpacked everything.

"Today, Eunseok, Wonbin and Seunghan are in charge of lunch for everyone," Shotaro declared, "We'll take turns making food each mealtime!"

Everyone made noises of agreement, slowly dispersing through the house as the cooks brainstormed what to serve.

"Does anyone want to go on a walk on the beach? I haven't seen it yet," Sungchan queried to no one in particular. Anton and Shotaro had turned around guiltily from where they were crouched under the TV. You could see that they were fiddling with some wires and powering on the console that they brought to the house. Ah, boys.

"Gonna play FIFA," Shotaro held up the game case sheepishly, "Maybe later?"

"I'll come with you now," you offered slowly, "I love the beach!"

Sungchan gave you a knowing smile and turned to Sohee, "What about you?"

Sohee looked up at you and Sungchan and then down to Anton and Shotaro, who had widened their eyes in order to communicate with him. He opened his mouth and spoke hesitantly, "Uh, I wanna play as well. Is it okay?"

"Mhm, suit yourself," Sungchan shrugged, happy on the inside that he had found a way to be alone with you.

The two of you slipped on more suitable footwear and grabbed a few snacks before heading out onto the beach.

(Meanwhile, Shotaro, Anton and Sohee were smirking in the living room, delighted that their own devious plan to get you and Sungchan together was coming into effect.)

"That was easy," Sungchan chuckled as you chose a direction to walk down.

"Surprisingly! You know how much Sohee loves the beach!" you frowned again but shook out the suspicion, "Whatever. I'm happy to spend time with you."

The second you were far enough from clear view from the house, Sungchan had interlaced his fingers with yours, happily swinging your conjoined arms between you. With his other hand, he ran it through his fluffy brown locks and basked in the soft breeze of being down by the ocean.

The beach was fortunately pretty deserted of people, since it wasn't terribly hot in climate yet, but there were a couple of people dotted around closer to the water.

"This is definitely what a healing trip is made of," he sighed contently, "That was a hard season."

Facing your own challenges didn't mean that the boys also weren't experiencing some hardships of their own. You know that Sohee was taking it hard with some injuries and Sungchan had only introduced his hardest combination the season just past, which is never easy.

"We all deserve a little break," you agreed, "To spend time with each other and definitely not talk or think about skating at all."

"What a dream," Sungchan was too elated being on this trip and it had barely begun, "Here with my best friends and my best girl."

You had stopped in your tracks and punched him softly in the chest, "Don't say that!"

He lowered his neck to meet you at your eye-level, "Why? Did it give you butterflies?"

You scoffed, pushing him away from you, but he decided to wrap his arms around you instead and sway your bodies around.

"You're too bold now, Jung Sungchan," you huffed, "Where's the boy that never speaks whenever we're around people? And the boy that blushed every time we kissed in secret?"

"He found out that the girl he liked likes him back and was giving him a chance to woo her off her feet!" Sungchan poked his tongue out at you and finally let you go, returning to your linked hands and continuing to walk.

"Woo?" you laughed at his teasing.

He nodded affirmatively, "Yeah, woo. Have you been woo'ed?"

You looked away for a second, hesitant to be so candid with him, but you figured that if he was so bold, you couldn't let this chance slip away.

"You're my ideal man, Sungchanie," you admitted quietly, "I like everything about you. I like having you by my side."

His face heated up so suddenly, so far removed from the confidence that was radiating off him just seconds ago. His heart was beating out of his chest as he tried to utter his words as casually as possible, "Enough to make me your boyfriend?"

You nibbled on your bottom lip to stop you from freaking out and smiling like a maniac, "Is that a confession? Is this our evaluation?"

"You already know I like you," he affirmed softly, "If you're ready for a relationship and if you're ready to have me in that way, you're in control."

You were still walking, barely looking at each other and too shy.

"Ask me."

"What?"

"Ask me the question," you whined as he seemed to play dumb.

Sungchan grinned down at you, his bambi eyes sparkling in the sun as he shook his hair out of them. He paused your stroll momentarily, turning to face you and closing the distance between your feet.

He nudged his nose against yours, a favourite move of his as he took a deep breath, "Y/N," he began slowly, "Please can I be your boyfriend?"

"Sungchan!" you laughed suddenly, "The question is 'will you be my girlfriend?'"

"That's not enough to express how much I want to be your boyfriend though," he pouted, "Doesn't matter, just give me an answer."

You threw your arms around his neck, still giggling, "Of course you can be my boyfriend, Jung Sungchan. I'm sorry you've been on trial period for like 5 months now."

Sungchan connected his lips to yours, giving you a soft peck, "Don't be sorry. I just wanted to show you how much I wanted to be there for you."

"And thank you for that. I couldn't have gotten through this season without you," you proclaimed gently.

He bumped his shoulders with yours as he took your hand again, "Don't get too sappy. You'll probably hate us by the end of this trip."

"I swear, if you guys don't clean after yourselves and leave the bathroom messy and dirty, I'll kill you all!" you remarked.

Sungchan laughed heartily- a sound that you had grown to adore over the past few months when you would share hushed conversations getting to know each other over the phone at night and calls whenever your schedules aligned. The two of you walked a little further, just talking about your plans for the trip and pointing out the cute, but also the endearingly ugly, dogs that were running around the beach. Eventually, Eunseok had texted you that lunch was nearly cooked and for the two of you to start heading back.

You couldn't believe that you left the beach house in a situationship and came back as a girlfriend! In fact, you probably still hadn't processed the fact that the Jung Sungchan was finally your boyfriend after all these years of creating boundaries and drawing lines to protect yourself and your heart.

All this time, Sungchan was your right person, wrong time, but you were so happy to be able to say that he stayed by your side long enough to become your right person at the right time.

⋆｡°✩

You were breathless and pliant in Sungchan's hold as he pressed feather-light kisses along your neck. He peppered them across your jaw, ending at the corner of your mouth before pulling away.

"Just kiss me," you begged as he smirked above you. Sungchan loved seeing you like this and now that you were officially his, it ignited a new spark in his heart that had always beat for you anyway.

It was past halfway through the beach trip and you had spent the past week lounging around on the beach and exploring the seaside town together. You spent mornings taking walks with the boys, the afternoon sunbathing and relaxing under parasols on the beach and the evening huddled around a bonfire just talking, singing and reminiscing. You were hard-pressed to find time alone with Sungchan, but you didn't mind since you came with the intention to hang out with your best friends and the new season wasn't going into full effect for a few months anyway.

Despite that, Sungchan had been sneaking into your room either before the others woke up or after they went to sleep, usually just to say goodnight and pillow talk, but sometimes to also make out like you were doing now.

Light flooded into the room from the expansive bay window, bathing Sungchan's face in sunlight. His twinkling eyes against his golden skin made you want to stare in them forever.

You were snapped out of your daydream when you heard a door click open and then close behind someone, and then footsteps on the hardwood floor. You pushed Sungchan off of you and he rushed over to sit at the bay window while you straightened out your bed and your clothes to give the illusion that your boyfriend hadn't been attacking you with his lips for the past half an hour.

You could hear a few more doors open and then close, before a knock on your door sounded out. Gingerly, you shuffled to your door and peeked out to find a sleepy and dishevelled Seunghan.

"Noona, have you seen Sungchan-hyung? He's not in bed," he was blinking slowly, as if trying to adjust to the natural light in your room. As he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, you opened the door wider and pointed sheepishly at the missing boy.

"Hey, I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep so me and Y/N were just talking and planning the day," Sungchan hummed as casually as he could muster up, "Do you need something?"

You let Seunghan inside your room and he immediately collapsed on your four-poster bed, sighing as he felt the soft sheets hit his head, "Nah, just wondering where you went and if you guys suddenly all decided to wake up and do something without me."

"You know everyone's so hard to get up in the morning," you mused, "Sungchan and I are the only morning people."

"You must have got closer then," Seunghan mumbled to himself, eyes fluttering shut, "That's good, noona. You weren't always as close to hyung."

You sat criss-cross next to his body as you shot Sungchan a pointed look. Was this the time you were going to reveal your relationship to the others? Sneaking around for the past week had been exhilarating, but it did weigh on the two of you to keep such a big secret from them. 

"We're going to the fair today, right?" he carried on, breaking the tension between you and your boyfriend.

"Mhm, so you better get up and wake the others up so we can have breakfast and get going," you told him as he groaned. Sungchan was just smiling at you lazily from the window, watching your sweet and maternal interaction with the younger boy. You prodded Seunghan a few more times before he finally rolled away and off the bed and Sungchan followed him out of the door, giving you a small wave goodbye.

You slowly got yourself ready for the day ahead, knowing it was going to take a while before all 7 of the boys could wake up and get refreshed enough to leave. By the time you were done, the youngest ones were preparing breakfast in the kitchen, singing along to the song on the radio perched on a floating shelf.

"Need any help?" you cast your eyes over Sohee and Anton who grinned happily as they saw you for the first time.

"Mhm, no," Sohee assured you, leading you to the already set dining table and pointing at the food, "We're nearly done so you can just wait for us or start eating if you want."

For the duration of the entire trip, it seemed like the boys were determined to not let you lift a finger. Although you were happy to help in cooking and cleaning, every time you were on the rotation, whoever was with you would work hard and take a lot of your work off you. Then again, the boys had always been sweet to you. Of course, they were funny, teasing and ridiculous, but at the core of it, they treated you like their little sister even though you were older than most of them. You really think that you couldn't have lucked out more with a friendship group and found family.

Anton served an over hard egg on your plate and you noticed that the rest on the serving plate was filled with sunny-side up eggs. See, they even paid attention to your food preferences.

Seunghan was next to come down, more wide awake than when you saw him last and seemingly energised by the prospect of food. He sat on your right, quickly scooping all of the dishes he wanted but stopping himself from eating until everyone came down.

Wonbin and Shotaro descended next, complaining about how long each other took to shower and get ready, but Eunseok came right behind them hair still dripping, to your chagrin as he made the floors slippery. Sungchan finally came down just moments later and took the empty seat next to you.

"Yay, let's eat!" Anton clapped his hands together as you completed the table.

"Wonbin-hyung, you'll go on the rides with us today, right?" Sohee crunched through his sausage.

"No, you can't force me to do anything," he grumbled and the rest of you chuckled at the man you knew to be so scared of fast and high rides, "I can watch over our stuff if you do go."

That was exactly the coversation you were having 2 hours later as all 8 of you stood in front of the tallest and fastest rollercoaster at the fair. In all honesty, it wasn't even that big and scary considering it was only a small fair that moved around, so the rides had to be simple to deconstruct. Even still, Wonbin planted his feet on the ground and firmly shook his head.

"But there's an uneven number of us," Shotaro whined, tugging at Bin's arm, "C'mon, just this once?"

He pouted and batted his long eyelashes as Anton sighed, "It's okay, I'll stay with hyung. I don't feel that good after that hot dog anyway."

Looking around, all of you had accepted defeat, so you joined the short line for the ride and immediately began grouping yourselves into pairs. At the one amusement park you had joined them at since you guys became friends, you stuck by Shotaro's side the whole time as you were still opening yourself up to the others. This time, you didn't really mind as Sohee linked arms with your boyfriend.

As the line progressed and you were at the front, Eunseok made his way to the back of the pack with you and helped you into the cart before sitting by your side. The climb up was decently steep and you could hear and feel the vibrations of the rails under you. You could also see Sohee still clutching Sungchan's arm and Seunghan and Shotaro preparing to raise their arms up when the ride plummeted.

As it slowly approached the peak, Eunseok cleared his throat, "You guys are pretty obvious, you know?"

You snapped your head so fast that even this rollercoaster couldn't give you the whiplash you gave yourself, "What?"

The ride was so rickety and loud that the boys in front of you couldn't hear you as Eunseok smirked, "You and Channie. Well at least to me you're obvious."

You opened your mouth to say something along the lines of you had no idea what he was talking about, but suddenly the ride dropped and a scream erupted from your throat. From beside you, Eunseok was nearly doubling over in laughter at how he caught you so flustered and shocked.

"Yah, don't run away from me," Eunseok laughed, calling after you as you gave him a pointed stare and ran ahead to catch up to Wonbin and Anton first.

Sungchan with his long strides reached you quickly, "What was that about?"

Anton and Wonbin's eyes were trained on you, so you merely waved your hand and dismissed it, "Nothing, just some nonsense."

You were grateful that Eunseok didn't say anything else when he arrived at the fence the others were waiting at, but for the rest of the fair, he would give you teasing smiles whenever you got so much as remotely close to Sungchan.

The sun was about to set and you were all nearly tired enough to go home. Between the big rides, the boys put on their competitive hats and kept challenging each other to the stalls that were known to be scams. They were probably blowing all of their prize money between them, but you had to keep walking back and forth between the fair and your cars since they were accumulating far too many plushies to hold.

"Just one more," Sungchan pleaded so cutely that you were resigned to say yes to, "Then we can go home after! Song Eunseok! Do this one with me!"

He was tugging on your arm, pointing at the basketball booth before slinging his arm around Eunseok's shoulder and dragging him along. Behind you, the youngests were happily munching on long churro sticks that Shotaro had bought for them, meanwhile he was conversing with Wonbin behind them.

"Loser has to grill all the meat later," Eunseok bargained. It was the two of them on main dinner duty once you returned to the house.

"Well what if we both win?" Sungchan huffed.

"Doubt it," Eunseok chuckled, as he handed over his bills to the booth manager.

You rolled your eyes at their antics- everyone knew that the basketball hoops were oval shaped and the chance of getting a ball in was slim. Even still, they both paid for the highest amount of balls in order to have the chance to win the biggest prize. If they got three balls through the hoop, then they could pick from the large prizes.

The boys finally caught up to you guys and sighed at the competition they saw in front of them. Eunseok was very passionate about basketball and Sungcham was very passionate about winning.

"No cheating," Sungchan swatted at Eunseok, who narrowed his eyes playfully.

They both began, the rest of you cheering them on. Both of them missed their first two shots, and they had to make the last 3 to win the big prize. Surprisingly, they also both were able to shoot the next two together, and were staring each other down as they picked up the last basketball.

"You're going down, Song Eunseok," Sungchan taunted, sticking his tongue out. Eunseok rolled his eyes and decided to shoot first at the hoop. You all watched in anticipation as the ball hit the rim... and then bounced off. Eunseok screamed in defeat and all eyes were turned to Sungchan.

He carefully examined the hoop and decided to just go for it. You were all shocked that it went in!

Sunchan whooped in glee, taunting Eunseok before throwing his arm around your shoulder. That was a pretty normal thing for the other boys to do to you, but it certainly wasn't the way Sungchan used to interact with you.

"You can choose the prize, Y/N," he grinned down at you, pointing at the array of large animal plushies attached around the booth.

You gasped as you laid your eyes on the most perfect choice and you leaned into his touch as you pointed it out, "That one!"

The booth attendant took it off its hook and handed it over to you. Gleefully, you held it up to Sungchan and cooed, "It looks just like you, Channie!"

Sungchan was smiling so dorkily at how the large baby deer plushie was making you so happy, and you were both too busy cooing at the plushie to notice the boys, jaws dropped and watching you.

"Uh," Wonbin uttered, "What's going on here?"

The silence that fell caused you and Sungchan to turn around, and upon realising their reaction, you jumped away from each other, still both holding the plushie.

"What do you mean?" Sungchan scratched his neck awkwardly, "You all got a prize for Y/N earlier. I wanted to as well."

Seunghan nodded slowly, "Okay, okay. Sure. But we just got small prizes."

"Is it my fault that I was good at this?" Sungchan retorted as he began walking your group towards the car park. You scurried behind him, hugging the deer close to your chest.

You fell back a little from Sungchan and slowed your footsteps since the boys behind you started whispering to themselves.

"I think Operation Sung-Y/N is working!" Sohee whisper-hissed. You raised your eyebrow at that. There's no way, right? There's no way that they were doing a whole scheme to set you up together with your boyfriend- not that they know that.

You decided not to confront them and joined Sungchan's side again. He had turned to talk to you, but saw you had slowed down so he had stopped in his tracks and waited for you. Sungchan sighed to himself as he watched you bound over with the plushie. He wished he could be in your embrace the way that plushie was connected to you. Frankly, he should have just told everyone else right then as they got suspicious, but he had a feeling you wanted to do it more lowkey.

Later on that night, Sungchan was lying on top of your sheets as you played with his hair. It was his turn to hug the deer- the only one that made it to your bed as you banished the other plushies the boys gave you onto the windowsill.

The others were all downstairs, either preparing the side dishes and preparing the grill or fighting each other on the playstation.

"We can tell them tomorrow," you sighed happily. his hair was so soft and bouncy that it instantly bounced back to its spot after you ran your hand through it, "And then we'll have 2 days here to act like a couple."

"Ah, two days," Sungchan sighed, "When am I going to see you again after that? I want to take you on a proper date, finally."

You gasped to yourself, bringing your hands to your mouth. Sungchan sat up quickly, eyebrows stitched together in worry, "Oh, what's up? What's wrong?"

You began laughing to yourself and Sungchan looked at you like you had grow two heads, "I forgot to tell you guys completely! I have some news for you all!"

"Ah, what is it?"

"I'm going to train in Seoul this season!"

Sungchan yelped in surprise, suddenly attacking you in a hug down onto the bed, "Oh my gosh, really? Are you serious? It's not a joke right?"

You giggled happily as he attacked your face wiyh kisses, "You know my coach Lina? Well, she's pregnant and she asked if I would be willing to relocate to Seoul so she could be around her family and her husband's family! She wants to receive maternal care here, so," you trailed off.

"Oh my, I'm so happy," Sungchan breathed out, "You mean I won't have to wait months in between competitions to come and see you? I can see you everyday?"

"Hey, you have a skating career too," you poked his chest, "Make sure you focus on that. But if it works, then sure! I'm going apartment hunting as soon as we all drive back up to Seoul!"

Sungchan was so elated, dreaming about all his favourite places that he would take you, "Ah, I think there's an apartment empty in our building. Do you want me to ask our management team?"

The boys all lived in the same building, some of them sharing and some of them living alone since there were various apartment layouts. You recalled that Sungchan lived with Shotaro on the 7th floor of the building, but you had only visited twice before.

You had a thought about declining his offer. Maybe it was moving too fast for you if you moved into his apartment building, but then again, the rest of your friends were there too and it wasn't like you were moving into his room. The thought of having all of them around often and being able to guide you through the city comforted you, so you just gave him an appreciative smile and nodded, "Mhm, that would be nice."

A happy sound escaped his throat and you're certain that moving to Seoul was the best move for you at this stage. Sungchan flipped you around so he was below you and you hovering over him. He brought his hand up to your face, tucking your hair out of your eyes and settling his large palms on your soft cheeks.

He guided your face down and you could feel his breath ghosting over your mouth. Sungchan connected his eyes with yours, "I really, really like you, Y/N. Thank you for giving me a chance."

Stealing his move, you grazed your nose against his, "You tell me that everyday, baby. I really, really like you too. I'm excited for this new season."

It wasn't just a new season of figure skating where you were going to debut new programs. It was a whole new season in your life. It felt like you could finally release yourself from the shackles of the bad moments of your past and start anew- a new country, and a new boyfriend.

He craned his neck up to softly touch your lips together, but he hadn't made any other moves, so you slid your arms around his neck and melted into his chest, parting his lips with yours and deepening the kiss.

You have always loved kissing Sungchan. His kisses seemed to heal every pain and suffering in the world and made you forget even your own name sometimes. He was always a passionate person, tending to your whines and requests whenever you got frustrated and he was teasing you. You don't know how, but since becoming his girlfriend, kissing him felt even better than it did before.

You were so engrossed in each other that you hadn't even heard the footsteps coming up the stairs, or Seunghan's soft calls for you, or his knocking on the door, or the way the door creaked as he opened it.

"Yah!" his scream caused Sungchan to sit up so hard and fast that you fell off of him and onto the floor, "My eyes!"

Sungchan smoothed his clothes out in a panic and yelped in apology as he helped you up from the floor. He scowled at his younger friend, "Do you know how to knock?"

"I did!" Seunghan exclaimed, throwing his hands up, "I even called for you, noona! Ah, I'm so traumatised! How can I get that out of my head?"

Your face must have been as red as the way it flushes when you get drunk as you just watched silently against the bed.

"Hey, what's going on? Hurry up, we wanna eat!" Wonbin appeared behind Seunghan who was still rubbing his eyes, unable to believe what he saw. Wonbin looked at him, confused by his reaction and the yells, "What happened?"

Suddenly, the other 4 boys all came out of nowhere too, crammed in the small hallway and looking between you on the bed, Sungchan closer to the door and Seunghan just on the other side.

"I caught them," Seunghan dramatically screeched, throwing his arms around Wonbin, "I caught them!"

"Caught them doing what?" Shotaro frowned.

"Making out!" Seunghan screamed, to which the rest of the boys started yelling in surprise too, suddenly firing questions at you and Sungchan, who was looking worriedly and apologetically at you.

"I knew it!" Eunseok smirked.

"Oh my God?" Anton gasped quietly and Sohee was mirroring his reaction.

"Are you guys fucking?" Seunghan was still dramatically wailing.

Sungchan scoffed, offended, "No! Well-" he looked at you, giving you the choice to give as much information.

"We're in a relationship," you revealed softly, laughing at their dropped jaws, "Well, only since the trip. We've been getting to know each other since Paris."

"Paris?" Wonbin gawked, "Paris? So when we asked you who you went to Paris with and you said no one, you actually were with Sungchan-hyung?"

"Yeah," you tilted your head and scratched the back of your neck, "Sorry for some white lies we've had to tell. We just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a bit, navigate new territories and make sure it doesn't affect our friendship with you guys."

Shotaro stepped into the room, huddling over to give you a hug, "Well we're all happy for you both. Besides, we were all conspiring to set you two up this trip."

"We were so proud at how well it was working," Sohee cried out, "Turns out we're the fools!"

You think back through the trip at the instances they created to get you alone together, whether it was taking quick trips to the grocery store because they 'forgot' an ingredient, or just leaving you two behind whenever you were walking and relaxing on the beach. You were thankful the boys were so silly to create a plan like that, otherwise you couldn't have spent so much time with your new boyfriend on the healing trip.

"It's okay guys," Sungchan grinned lopsidedly, "It was funny to watch." "Um," Seunghan interrupted, "I actually came up cause I was coming to tell you that dinner was ready."

Eunseok nodded, turning on his heel, "Yeah, I'm really hungry. Can we talk about this over barbecue instead?"

The rest of the boys nodded in agreement, making their way down the stairs. You sighed heavily, looking at Sungchan who placed a loving kiss on your hair, "That was so chaotic. Are we okay, though?"

You smiled up at him and took his hand pulling you up, "More than okay. They were bound to find out and they're all so happy about it."

Sungchan splayed his palm against yours and then locked your fingers together, "Ah, wait til you tell them about moving to Seoul. They'll forget this news instantly!"

You let the grin invade your face as you happily imagined the way they'd cheer and instantly bombard you with outings to do and places to visit together in Seoul. You were definitely certain now that your relationship with Sungchan wasn't going to change your friendship.

"Lovers, come on!" Eunseok yelled up the stairs, "The food is getting cold so stop making out!"

Well, maybe a little bit. But as long as you were able to call Sungchan yours, you were sure you could endure anything.

--------------------------

a/n: thank you for reading:) pls let me know what you think<3

[kumezyzo]

it's heartbreaking that suguru geto doesn't accept your love. you didn't come from a family of sorcerers, so in his eyes, you got lucky with a powerful technique. you got lucky that you didn't get swallowed up by the unfamiliar world of jujutsu.

it's embarrassing, really. you pining over someone who doesn't really respect you. he remembers when he found out that you didn't come from a family of sorcerers. he thought it was pathetic that you hid it from them.

but you couldn't care because his smile was so pretty, and his voice was so kind even when his words were laced with pure hatred. you ignored his judgemental glances and the way he shrugged you off. if it were up to him, he would have never chosen to bring you into his inner circle. but you were one of the strongest. and satoru loved having you around.

perhaps satoru just simply loved you. although his love was never simple, was it? he looked at you like you were the only beauty in the world, like you were far more perfect than perfection itself. that alone was almost nauseating. he didn't care that you didn't come from an important clan because you were so strong and you held your own.

even when fushiguro toji brought you to the brink of death, satoru thought you were strong. suguru, on the other hand, had not. even if he didn't say it to your face, he found other ways to let you know he blamed you for riko's death. you were supposed to be as strong as him and satoru, and somehow, you ended up on deaths door, and fushiguro toji barely hurt. god, did he hate you.

he hated how you smiled when they came to visit you in your hospital bed with bandages wrapped around your body. he hated the way tears filled your eyes when you saw apologized for not doing your job. he loathed the way satoru and shoko hugged you, telling you they were just glad you were alive. could they not see that you didn't need their pity?

what he hated even more was how you were the only one who seemed to care when he started losing weight and the bags under his eyes grew deeper, darker. he hated your soft and kind voice, asking, "Are you okay, Suguru?"

"....huh?" he turned to you with eyes void of any sort of emotion. but that was soon replaced with disdain. he looked away, going back to stare at the short grass of the sparring field.

you hesitantly scooted closer to him. "you haven't been yourself.... i know satoru said you're losing weight, but -"

"it's none of your business," he spat out your name in a way that made you want to hide. his voice no longer sounded like a soothing breeze. there was something different in his eyes, something so painfilled that you yourself felt your soul crumble. "shouldn't you be training with shoko or flirting with satoru?"

"satoru? what... suguru, i dont- look, doesn't matter," you turned to face him better with a sigh. "i just want to make sure you're okay. you haven't been okay, and i want to help you -"

"well i dont need you fucking help," he said with finality, walking away from you, his cursed energy oozing off of him darkly. it was like his energy was attacking you without him knowing. you could feel his darkness- no- his pain in every fibre and crevice of his being.

that was the last time you saw suguru geto for the next eight years. he went on a mission and never came back. you wished that it had surprised you when you found out that he had killed a village of innocent people. but it wasn't. in the time you had after your last conversation, you saw how much hatred was behind his eyes. it was your first heartbreak. the heartbreak of your first love.

idk what this is, really. its kinda based on a fic i wanna write, but this will have to do for now. 😁 -nony

[heartsbyani]

wings of a broken heart, fly away 日 ── stranded human falls for the faerie who heals him, but love masks a cruel fate.

𓍯 prince!hyunjin ʚଓ fem-faerie!reader ：（ 𝒾 ） 14k ── ༯ ONESHOT, fantasy, mystical, skz ensemble, humor, romance, gore, fluff, flirting, kisses, open ending, hurting, faerieland, royal au, mystery, clean, heartbreak (if it wasn't obvious from the title.. ><), cliffhanger, major plot twist, blood, betrayals. ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY. /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི

yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ yani's active era now in action. y'all are not gonna like this one.. correct me if i'm wrong in the comments ;) !! a warning, hope you're mentally prepared for this, and please reread the info. so that you don't come attack me after.. !! i don't think it really came out as i wanted it to, but well, it's out anyway. i could do better, sorry if it wasn't to your expectations !! kinda different from my usual works :<. please note this is all out of my mere delusions and imaginations ; nothing relates to the idol irl, and it’s all fiction, so take it with a grain of salt. comments, requests, asks, likes, follows and reblogs are always appreciated ! comment/ask if you want to be added to my mastertag ! happy reading <3

the dewmist woods were alive with a thousand shades of green. sunlight filtered through the canopy, dappling the moss-covered ground in soft gold. the air carried the mingling scents of wildflowers, dew, and the sweet aroma of nectar. this wasn’t an ordinary forest—it was an untouched realm, brimming with magic and mystery. trees towered into the heavens, their trunks wrapped in glowing vines, while exotic fruits of every imaginable hue hung from branches. the fruits shimmered like jewels—pearly white starfruits, golden berries that sparkled like fireflies, and plum-sized fruits that emitted a soft lilac glow.  

outside of the woods, by the shore, a clearing bustled with activity. a makeshift boat, carefully pieced together over years of labor, rested on a carpet of moss. it was a beautiful thing—its base carved from sturdy driftwood and reinforced with planks salvaged from shipwrecks found near the island's shores. the sails were stitched together from woven leaves, strengthened with threads of a fabric that resembled a bit with silk, with a hint of magic. the boat’s elegance was matched only by the bittersweet air surrounding it.  

y/n stood a few paces away, her light brown hair catching the sun as she watched her friends—family, now, make the final preparations. she wore a flowing dress of woven golden petals, its edges fluttering like butterfly wings with each soft breeze. her wings, radiant and white with streaks of yellow, were hidden for now, as they often were when she felt nervous or uncertain. and today, she was both.  

“y/n, stop fidgeting,” came a teasing voice.  

she turned to see one of the eldest in the crew, adjusting the strap of a small pack slung across his shoulder. his raven hair gleamed, and his sharp eyes, though calm, held a glimmer of warmth. he looked like he always did—steady, dependable, and just a little smug.  

“i’m not fidgeting!” y/n shot back, crossing her arms but unable to suppress a smile. “i’m just… making sure everything’s okay.”  

“everything is fine, little fae,” the actual oldest called from the other side of the clearing, his blonde hair catching the light like spun gold. he was carrying a barrel onto the boat with ease, his strength making the task look effortless. “we’ve triple-checked everything. right, yaena?”  

the lilac-haired elf nodded as she secured her quiver of arrows onto the side of the boat. her voice was calm and steady as always. “yes, but that doesn’t mean you get to slack off now, chris. we still need to balance the supplies better.”  

“i’m not slacking off! i’m just saying y/n doesn’t need to worry so much,” chris replied with a playful grin.  

“she worries because she cares,” rina interjected, her brown hair tied back in a braid adorned with small, glowing flowers. she was arranging bundles of food—berries, fruits, and enchanted nuts—into small satchels. “and honestly, we could use a little more care sometimes.”  

“stop babying her,” minho said, though there was no bite to his words. he glanced at y/n with a smirk. “you’ll have felix here. if anything happens, he’ll just turn invisible and scare away whatever comes your way.”  

felix, who was leaning against a tree with his silver hair catching the light, gave a soft chuckle. the younger one's deep voice carried effortlessly. “i don’t think that’s how invisibility works, but i’ll do my best.” he looked at y/n and added, “don’t worry, y/nnie. i’ll make sure nothing happens while they’re gone.” he pat her head, exaggerating his words. 

“i’m not a kid, you know,” y/n protested, pouting slightly, though her eyes sparkled with amusement. “and i don’t need protection.”  

felix raised an eyebrow. “right. because you’re going to take down a wild boar with your healing magic?”  

y/n stuck out her tongue at him, and the group burst into laughter. “if i have to, i might!”    

the humor did little to mask the weight of what was happening. this was the day. after years of dreaming, planning, and building, chris, minho, yaena, and rina were finally leaving dewmist woods in search of their kind. it wasn’t an easy choice—they all knew the island was a haven, and the outside world was an unknown. but the island had once been filled with faeries, elves, and other magical beings, and they couldn’t ignore the call to find out what had happened to them.  

“alright, everyone, gather up!” chris called, clapping his hands.  

the group formed a loose circle around the boat. the atmosphere shifted, becoming more somber.  

he spoke first, his voice steady. “we don’t know how long this journey will take, but we promise to come back. and when we do, we’ll bring answers—maybe even more of our kind.”  

yaena stepped forward, placing a hand on y/n’s shoulder. “take care of the forest while we’re gone. it’s our home, and it’s still full of magic. protect it, and protect each other.”  

rina gave y/n a tight hug. “we’re going to miss your singing. don’t let felix teach you any bad habits while we’re gone.”  

“i heard that,” felix muttered, though his tone was fond.  

finally, minho crouched slightly to look y/n in the eye. his expression softened, something rare for him when he's with others; but definitely usual when he's with his favorite younger—who was more of a little sister . “stay safe, y/n. and don’t forget—you’re stronger than you think. even if you’re not out there fighting, you’re the heart of this group.”  

y/n blinked quickly, trying to hold back tears. she nodded, her voice small but steady. “you all better come back. promise me.”  

“we promise,” chris said, placing a hand over his heart.  

the group exchanged final hugs, their voices overlapping with goodbyes, reassurances, and half-teasing remarks to lighten the mood.  

as the boat finally pushed off, its sails catching the gentle breeze, y/n and felix stood at the water’s edge, watching it grow smaller in the distance.  

“you okay?” felix asked after a moment, his deep voice breaking the silence.  

y/n nodded, though her chest felt tight. “yeah. i just.. i hope they find what they’re looking for.”  

“they will,” felix said confidently. “and until then, we’ve got this place to take care of.”

y/n turned to look at him, her wings fluttering briefly into view before disappearing again. “you’re right. dewmist woods is still our home.”  

and so, as the boat disappeared beyond the horizon, y/n and felix turned back toward the vibrant, magical forest. they were the last guardians of dewmist woods, and no matter what came their way, they would protect it.  

the forest hummed with life, but y/n couldn’t shake the ache of loneliness in her chest. it had been days since the others had left, and though felix was nearby, she still felt the absence of their vibrant presence—chris’s booming laugh, minho’s sarcastic quips, rina’s soft encouragement, and yaena’s calm reassurances. the hut, usually filled with warmth and chatter, now felt quiet and hollow.  

after pacing around the home for what felt like the hundredth time, she decided she couldn’t stay cooped up any longer. she slipped out, leaving the hut behind.

bare feet kissed the earth as she stepped into the sun-dappled clearing, her delicate wings unfurling behind her. a cascade of soft yellow and white shimmered in the light, their glow akin to moonbeams caught in the gossamer threads of a spider’s web. her wings were as ethereal as a dream, a living tapestry of light and silk, yet they carried the ghost of an old wound—a wound from a time too distant to remember fully but too near and painful to ever forget.

a long, jagged tear marred the right wing’s perfect symmetry, a place where once, sharp brambles had cut too deep, too unforgiving. even now, the slightest brush of wind or a careless twig sent tendrils of pain radiating through her, a reminder of her fragility. her wings, though lovely, were a burden as much as a gift.

her fingers trembled as they hovered over the scarred place. she felt the familiar sting of weakness simmering beneath her skin. she could fly—but the price was always too high. every lift of her body into the air drained her strength, left her breathless and trembling until her feet longed for the solidity of the earth once more.

and so, she avoided the skies.

with a deep breath, she let her wings droop gently, their glow dimming like a waning candle. the ache in her heart remained, but she pressed onward. the soft grass curled around her toes as she wandered further into the woods. each step was slow, deliberate, but there was a kind of power in that slowness, a quiet strength in choosing to walk when the world expected her to soar.

so yes, she was a faerie—but one who trusted the ground beneath her feet more than the sky that whispered promises her fragile wings could not keep.

— ༊ ࿐

the walk to the shore was peaceful, the sun filtering gently through the canopy above, painting the mossy ground with golden light. she stopped to talk to a cluster of butterflies, their wings shimmering with iridescent hues, their tiny, fluttering voices soothing in her mind. a few pixies, no taller than her hand, flitted by, laughing as they danced in spirals around her.  

when she reached the shoreline, the world opened up. the sea stretched endlessly before her, glittering like liquid sapphire. the waves lapped gently against the sand, the soft breeze carrying with it the salty tang of the ocean. y/n sat down near the water, her wings catching the sunlight and casting a warm, ethereal glow around her. she drew idle shapes in the sand, humming softly to herself.  

but then, something unusual caught her eye.  

at the far edge of the shore, where the coastline curved sharply and jagged rocks jutted out into the water, there was something out of place—a wreckage. a small, broken boat lay partially submerged, its hull splintered and leaning against the rocks. the wood was dark, soaked with seawater, and the sails hung in torn shreds.  

y/n froze for a moment, her heart skipping a beat. the sight was foreign to her; her mind raced with questions. what could it be? who could it belong to?

slowly, curiosity overtook her hesitance.  

she rose to her feet, brushing the sand off her dress, and made her way toward the wreck. her wings shimmered faintly as they fluttered behind her, reflecting her rising nerves.  

when she reached the boat, she noticed the strange objects scattered around it. bits of metal tools, a shattered lantern, and a few soaked, crumbling scrolls were strewn across the sand. everything seemed alien, unfamiliar—nothing like the natural world she’d always known.  

and then she saw him.  

lying on the sand, just beyond the wreckage, was a figure. a human..?  

y/n’s breath caught in her throat, and her wings instinctively folded tighter against her back. she had never seen a human before. the stories, paintings, and faded memories left on the island described them as strange, otherworldly beings. her friends had always debated what humans might be like—dangerous, kind, curious—but none of them had ever expected to see one.  

her wide eyes scanned him cautiously. he was motionless, his body partially turned on its side, one arm sprawled out in the sand. he was tall, much taller than she’d imagined humans might be, and his frame seemed strong, even though his posture was limp with unconsciousness.  

for a moment, she hesitated. should she approach him? what if he woke up and harmed her? but then her gaze shifted to the dark stain of blood seeping through the sleeve of his shirt and the jagged wound on his thigh. her heart pained.  

steeling herself, she stepped closer, her bare feet sinking into the cool sand. she crouched down beside him, her dress fanning out around her. his face was obscured by long, damp strands of black hair, clinging to his skin from seawater.  

she reached out hesitantly, her hand trembling as she brushed the hair away from his face.  

and then she saw him.  

his face was… unlike anything she had ever imagined. his features were sharp and elegant, almost unreal in their beauty. his skin was pale, almost translucent in the sunlight, with a soft sheen from the water. his jawline was defined, his lips pink and full, parted slightly as he breathed shallowly.  

but it was the small details that captivated her most. a single mole rested beneath one of his closed eyes, adding an endearing softness to his otherwise striking face. his long lashes lay against his cheeks, dark and feathery, as though they held secrets of faraway lands. he wore a loose white shirt that clung to his chest, now torn in places, the sleeves folded halfway, right above the elbow, and black ragged pants that had seen better days. the fabric was unlike anything on the island, both strange and fascinating.  

y/n’s heart raced as she took in his appearance. she had never seen a face other than her own reflection in the crystalline water, or her friends’ familiar features. although there were plenty of similarities, this was entirely new—entirely human. his curved ears, unlike hers that were edged and pointy at the top, his body slightly larger than hers, and hair midnight.

she reached out again, her fingers hovering near the mole under his eye, but she drew back before touching him.  

he was hurt. the blood on his arm and thigh stained the sand beneath him, the red a stark contrast to the pale gold of the beach. the wound above his elbow looked deep, the torn fabric of his shirt revealing raw, jagged skin.  

y/n’s instincts kicked in. as a faerie whose ability was healing even the deepest wounds, you could say that she could never try to hurt a singular ant, let alone, a bigger.. being. the sight of blood and pain made her heart wrench with emotion, tears pooling her eyes.

she glanced around the shore, her mind racing for a solution. but the wreckage held no answers, only more questions. how had he ended up here? where had he come from?  

for a moment, she faltered. what if she wasn’t ready to face this? she was the youngest, the least experienced. the others would have known what to do.  

but as she looked back at his peaceful, unconscious face, her resolve hardened.  

“i can’t just leave you here,” she murmured softly, her voice barely audible over the waves. her wings flickered faintly, as if agreeing with her decision.  

she placed a hand gently on his shoulder, her fingers brushing the wet fabric of his shirt. “i’ll help you. somehow.”  

and with that, she made her choice.

the rhythmic crashing of the waves faded into the background as the faerie focused on the unconscious human before her. her hands hovered hesitantly over the wound on his arm, her breath unsteady. the dark red gash seemed deep, the skin torn and swollen. blood had soaked through his torn sleeve and pooled on the sand beneath him.  

she glanced at his face again, his sharp features softened by unconsciousness. despite his unfamiliarity, her heart ached to see anyone in such a state. he must’ve been through something terrible, she thought.  

taking a deep breath, y/n closed her eyes. her wings began to glow faintly, an ethereal yellow-white light that grew brighter with every passing moment. she moved her hands closer to the wound, and as she did, a soft golden light spread from her palms. her wings radiated energy, filling the air around her with warmth and calm.  

the wound on his arm began to close, the torn skin knitting itself together under the glow of her touch. she moved her hands to his thigh, repeating the process. her aura shimmered brighter now, wrapping both of them in a cocoon of light. even the faint scratches on his face faded under her care, leaving only smooth, pale skin behind.  

her energy pulsed gently as the last of his injuries disappeared. the light dimmed, her wings flickering faintly before the glow receded entirely. y/n exhaled, her hands trembling slightly from the effort. he was still unconscious, but his breathing was steady, no longer labored or shallow.  

“i-i did it,” she whispered, relief washing over her. “you're not hurting now.” 

but now came the next challenge: she couldn’t leave him exposed here on the shore. the sea breeze was cool, and the open beach left him vulnerable. she couldn’t risk felix finding him either; she knew her protective friend would forbid her from getting involved.  

y/n crouched beside him, her small hands hooking under his shoulders as she tried to drag him toward the trees. despite his lean frame, he was heavier than she expected, his boots dragging lines in the sand as she pulled with all her strength.  

“why are humans so big?” she grumbled under her breath, her voice light but strained.  

finally, she managed to get him under the shade of a large tree near the edge of the forest. the area was secluded enough to hide him from prying eyes but close enough to the beach that she could keep watch. she laid him down carefully, brushing sand off his clothes as she straightened his arm.  

“stay here,” she murmured softly, glancing at his still face. she bit her lip, debating for a moment before turning and heading back to the heart of the forest, to their hut.  

... minutes later.

the walk back was nerve-wracking. every rustle of leaves made her jump, every shift of the forest’s shadows made her glance over her shoulder.

what am i even doing? she wondered, her fingers clutching the edges of her glowing dress. felix would never approve if he knew.  

thankfully, the hut was empty when she returned. she quickly gathered a basket of fruits, her hands trembling as she selected the ripest ones. mango-like pulms, plump red sunberries, and a handful of yellow starfruits were arranged neatly. she added a flask of fresh water and some bread they’d made the day before.  

by the time she returned to the tree, the human was still unconscious, his chest rising and falling steadily. she set the basket down beside him and crouched behind a nearby bush, her wings tucked tightly against her back as she waited.  

she didn’t have to wait long.  

a soft groan broke the stillness, followed by a faint rustle as the human shifted. y/n’s heart leapt, her hands clutching the hem of her dress as she peeked out from her hiding spot. his hand moved first, his long fingers curling slightly before his eyes fluttered open.  

dark, almond-shaped eyes scanned the unfamiliar surroundings, confusion clouding his expression. he sat up slowly, his brows furrowed as he looked down at his arm—and froze.  

the blood was gone. the wound was gone.  

he lifted his sleeve, examining the now-smooth skin with wide eyes. his hands moved to his thigh, finding the same result.  

“what…?” he muttered, his voice low and soft, tinged with disbelief. his gaze darted to the basket of food nearby, and then to the surrounding forest.  

a sudden rustling noise drew his attention, and his sharp eyes snapped toward the source—y/n.  

great job, self.

she gasped softly, realizing she’d been seen. his dark gaze locked onto her, his posture tense but not hostile. he didn’t seem frightened; if anything, he looked protective, his hands poised to defend himself.  

but then his eyes widened slightly, his gaze dropping to the soft glow of her wings, which she hadn’t hidden in her nervousness.  

“you…” he breathed, his voice a mixture of awe and confusion.  

y/n’s heart raced. she scrambled back a step, her fingers brushing against the sand until they found a smooth stone. she snatched it up, holding it in front of her defensively.  

“w-who are you?” she demanded, her voice trembling slightly but carrying a strength that surprised even her. her usual gentle tone sharpened into something firm, her wings flaring slightly behind her.  

the human raised his hands in a placating gesture, his gaze never leaving hers. “i’m not here to hurt you,” he said, his voice calm but steady. “i… i don’t even know where i am.”  

y/n narrowed her eyes, gripping the stone tighter. “that doesn’t answer my question.”

he exhaled, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “i’m… a traveler. my ship—it crashed in a storm. i don’t know how i got here.”  

y/n tilted her head, her curiosity beginning to outweigh her fear. “you’re human,” she said softly, more to herself than to him.  

he blinked. “and you’re..” he replied, his gaze flickering to her glowing wings.  

she spoke again, not wanting him to complete his sentence. “you shouldn’t be here. no one should be here,” she said firmly, though her voice wavered at the edges. her grip on the stone loosened slightly, though she didn’t lower it.  

“i didn’t mean to,” the man replied. “i didn’t even know this place existed.”  

y/n studied him for a long moment, her amber-brown eyes searching his face. he didn’t seem dangerous—just lost, confused, and maybe a little awestruck. but the stories she’d grown up with still lingered in the back of her mind, warning her to be cautious.  

finally, she lowered the stone, though her wings remained flared, a faint glow surrounding her. “stay where you are,” she said firmly. “i’ll decide what to do with you.”  

his lips twitched into the faintest smile. “you saved me, didn’t you?”  

y/n’s cheeks flushed faintly, but she ignored his question, turning her back on him as she hid her trembling hands behind her.

what am i doing? she thought again, her heart pounding as she tried to keep her composure.  y/n stepped back a little farther, gripping the smooth stone tightly in her hand as the human tried to shift into a more comfortable position. she studied him closely, every detail of his movements, unsure if he might suddenly become hostile. her wings glowed faintly behind her, an unintentional show of her nervousness.  

"don't come close to me—" she said sharply, her voice firm despite the slight quiver in her tone.  

he froze, lifting his hands again to show he meant no harm, once again. “i won't— i'm saying it again, i’m not going to hurt you,” he said softly, his voice calm and reassuring.  

her eyes darted to his hands and then back to his face. “you shouldn’t even be here. you don’t belong here.”  

he tilted his head, his gaze flickering briefly to her glowing wings. “are you.. human?”

y/n blinked, startled by the question. “human?” she mumbled the word she'd known for long, but it still foreign on her tongue.  

she looked at him more closely now, studying the odd cut of his clothes, the dark fabric layered with gold-threaded details. his boots were worn, his hair tousled and damp from the sea, yet he carried himself with an air of elegance. he was undeniably different—alien, unfamiliar.  

“no,” she replied quietly. “i’ve never seen a.. human before.”  

a faint smile tugged at his lips, though he quickly masked it. “well, now you have,” he said lightly.  

she stiffened at his tone, her grip on the stone tightening. “don’t mock me.”  

“i’m not mocking you,” he replied, his voice still soft. “i’m just… surprised. i didn’t expect to find anyone here.”  

her eyes narrowed. “you shouldn’t have found us. this island—it’s forbidden. you need to leave as soon as you can.”  

the man leaned back slightly, his gaze flickering around the shaded forest. “i would if i could, but i don’t think i’m in any shape to build a boat and sail off, do you?”  

y/n bit her lip, unsure how to respond. she had to admit he had a point, but she didn’t like the idea of him staying here. her friends had always warned her about outsiders. they’d said humans were dangerous, unpredictable, and greedy.  

“where am i?” he asked suddenly, his tone curious but calm.  

“it’s none of your concern,” y/n said quickly, her voice defensive.  

“it kinda is if i’m stranded here.”  

she shook her head. “you don’t need to know. it won’t help you anyway.”  

“talk about honesty.. alright, this will be hard.”  

he studied her for a moment, his gaze steady but not intimidating. “are you a faerie?”

y/n froze, her wings flickering faintly. she didn’t know how he knew about faeries, but his question struck a nerve. her first instinct was to deny it, but the way he asked—gently, without any trace of malice—made her pause.  

after a long moment, she gave a hesitant nod.

his expression softened, though he kept his features carefully neutral. he didn’t want to scare her away or reveal how much he already knew about her kind. growing up in the palace, he’d been taught about faeries, elves, and other mystical beings—legends passed down through generations. he’d always thought them to be myths, mere stories to entertain and educate. but now, seeing her standing before him, her glowing wings and angelic presence so very real, he couldn’t help but marvel.  

“don’t stare,” y/n said, her voice snapping him out of his thoughts. she crossed her arms over her chest, trying to look intimidating.  

“i’m sorry,” he said quickly, though there was a faint amusement in his tone. “i just didn’t think i’d ever meet a faerie.”  

“well, now you have. so eat,” she said, shoving the basket of fruit toward him.  

he glanced at the basket, then back at her. “you brought this for me?”  

she frowned, looking away. “i… figured you’d be hungry.”  

“thank you,” he said sincerely, picking up a piece of fruit.  

“don’t thank me,” she muttered, her cheeks flushing slightly. “i only brought it so you don’t cause trouble.”  

the man bit into the fruit, the sweet juice bursting on his tongue. “trouble? i’m sitting here with a bruised ego and no boat. what kind of trouble could i possibly cause?”  

“you’d be surprised,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him.  

he smiled faintly, taking another bite of fruit. “what’s your name?”  

“that’s none of your business,” she shot back, her tone defensive.  

“fair enough,” he replied easily, leaning back against the tree. “i’m hyunjin, by the way.”  

y/n didn’t respond, though her eyes flickered to his face. he was so strange, so unfamiliar, yet she couldn’t deny that he was… beautiful. his delicate features seemed carved by the gods themselves, and the mole beneath his eye only added to his charm.  

“you’re staring,” hyunjin said, his voice teasing.  

y/n snapped out of her thoughts, her cheeks burning. “i wasn’t staring!”  

“you were,” he said, smiling softly.  

“stop talking,” she muttered, flustered.  

hyunjin chuckled, the sound low and warm. “you’re not very good at being intimidating, are you?”  

“i am so!” she retorted, her wings flaring slightly in defiance.  

“you’re more like an angry butterfly,” he said, his tone playful.  

y/n glared at him, though she couldn’t entirely suppress the small smile tugging at her lips.  

after a moment, her curiosity got the better of her. “you said you’re a traveler. where are you from?”  

hyunjin hesitated for a fraction of a second before answering. “a kingdom far from here.”  

“kingdom?”  

“aestheria,” he said simply.  

y/n’s eyes widened slightly. “aetheria? the kingdom of golden spires?”  

he nodded, a small smile on his lips. “you’ve heard of it?”  

“only in stories,” she said softly. “i didn’t think it was.. real.”  

“it is,” hyunjin said, his tone gentle. “and i’m a prince.”  

y/n’s jaw dropped, though she quickly shut it, trying to compose herself. “you’re a… prince?”  

“yes.”  

she crossed her arms, trying to appear unimpressed. “you don’t look like a prince.”  

hyunjin laughed lightly. “what does a prince look like, then?”  

“not like… that,” she said, gesturing vaguely at him.  

“ouch, way to add to my already broken ego.. but anyway, i really am,” he said with a faint smile, watching her reaction with amusement.  

y/n tried to appear unaffected, but her wide eyes betrayed her awe. she turned away, her wings folding neatly against her back as she muttered, “i don’t care if you’re a prince. you still don’t belong here.”  

hyunjin smiled to himself, leaning back against the tree as he watched her with quiet fascination.  

a soft, shimmering light caught y/n's attention as a tiny butterfly-like pixie fluttered toward her. its delicate wings shimmered with hues of lavender and gold, leaving a faint trail of glittering dust in the air. y/n froze, her heart racing. pixie butterflies only showed up when something urgent needed to be said.  

“y/n!” the pixie squeaked in a high-pitched but anxious voice, hovering near her shoulder. her tiny frame quivered nervously as she glanced back toward the direction of the hut.  

“what is it, lunis?” y/n asked, her voice low, her eyes darting briefly toward hyunjin, who was still leaning against the tree, his sharp gaze quietly observing the interaction.  

lunis hesitated, wringing its tiny hands as it hovered closer to her ear. “who is this? who is this man?!” she whispered frantically, though her voice carried enough for hyunjin to catch the distress in her tone.  

y/n stiffened. “lunis—please—don’t be loud!” she tried to wave the pixie off, hoping to calm her nervous flurry.  

the pixie ignored her, her tiny eyes wide with panic. “you know how felix will react, y/n! he’ll—he’ll lose his wings if he finds out!”  

y/n winced, her heart sinking at the mention of felix. she knew exactly what lunis meant. felix’s overprotectiveness was both his strength and his flaw. he’d do anything to keep the place safe, even if it meant being harsh.  

“i know,” she whispered, her voice tight. “but i couldn’t just leave him. look at him!” she gestured at hyunjin, who raised his eyebrows but said nothing, his gaze flickering between y/n and the panicked pixie.  

lunis turned to hyunjin, her tiny hands clutching her head dramatically. “a human?! a human! on dewmist woods? this is—this is—”  

“calm down!” y/n snapped quietly, her wings flickering in agitation.  

“i can’t calm down!” lunis hissed. “felix will see! he’ll know! he always knows!”  

hyunjin, sensing the tension, decided to interject. “i’m not here to hurt anyone, little one,” he said softly, his deep voice carrying an almost soothing quality.  

the pixie froze, her tiny wings fluttering erratically.

“it talks..” lunis whispered, her voice dripping with suspicion. “humans talk. humans lie!”  

“lunis!” y/n scolded, turning to face the pixie fully. “he’s injured. i healed him. what was i supposed to do? let him bleed out on the shore?”  

“so you did heal me.”  

“you, stay quiet!”  

“yes!” lunis shrieked, then immediately clapped her hands over her mouth, looking horrified at her own words. “no! i didn’t mean that, but—oh, y/n, you don’t understand! felix will scold you! he’ll never trust you again!”  

y/n flinched at the thought, her heart heavy. she loved felix dearly—he was like an older brother to her—but she couldn’t ignore how overbearing he could be. he’d never let her out of his sight again if he found out about this.  

“be quick, y/n!” lunis pleaded, tugging on her sleeve with her tiny hands. “get him away from here before felix sees! he’s out gathering wood, but he could come back any moment! please, please! go home before it’s too late!”  

y/n’s mind raced. she glanced at hyunjin, who was now watching her with a strange mix of curiosity and concern. his dark eyes bore into hers, and for a moment, she felt a pang of guilt.  

“i can’t just—” she started, but lunis interrupted her.  

“you can,” the pixie insisted. “you must. or felix will—” she stopped mid-sentence, her tiny frame trembling.  

“felix will what?” hyunjin asked suddenly, his voice calm but firm.  

lunis let out a tiny squeak and darted behind y/n’s shoulder, clearly intimidated. “none of your business, human!”  

“god forbid a man is curious.”  hyunjin sighed, his gaze flickering to y/n. “you’re not very good at hiding things, are you?”  

y/n shot him a glare, her cheeks flushing. “quiet,” she muttered.  

lunis tugged on her sleeve again. “y/n, please! you’re my friend, and i don’t want felix to yell at you. he’s so scary when he’s upset!”  

“i know,” y/n murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. she felt torn, her heart aching under the weight of the pixie’s fear and her own guilt.  

hyunjin leaned back against the tree, watching her with a thoughtful expression. “i take it this felix person isn’t very fond of strangers,”

y/n’s wings flickered again, betraying her nerves. “that’s putting it lightly,” she muttered.  

“then perhaps i should leave,” hyunjin suggested, though his tone lacked conviction.

“bingo! so, the human thinks too-”    

y/n hesitated, her gaze flickering between him and lunis. “you can’t leave!” she said finally. “not yet. you’re still weak- and you don’t have a boat.”  

there was a faint smile tugging at his lips, as if he knew she wouldn’t let him go so easily.  

lunis groaned, flitting in front of her face. “y/n, think about this! felix—”  

“i’ll handle felix,” y/n said firmly, surprising both lunis and herself.  

hyunjin’s eyebrows rose, and lunis blinked at her, her tiny mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.  

“you… you’ll handle him?” lunis stammered. “y/n, you can’t even argue with a butterfly!”  

y/n crossed her arms, her wings glowing faintly with determination. “i’ll figure it out! trust me!”

hyunjin watched her, a flicker of admiration in his dark eyes. “you’re braver than you look,” he said softly.  

y/n shot him a look, her cheeks warming. “don’t push your luck, human.”  

lunis groaned, throwing her tiny hands in the air. “fine! but don’t say i didn’t warn you! if felix catches you—oh, it’ll be awful! just awful!”  

with one last worried glance at hyunjin, the pixie flitted away, her shimmering trail disappearing into the forest.  

y/n let out a shaky breath, her wings drooping slightly. she turned to hyunjin, who was still leaning casually against the tree, his expression unreadable.  

“you really do have a lot of secrets,” he said, his voice quiet but teasing.  

“don’t get used to it,” she replied, her tone sharp. “you’re not staying forever.”  

y/n watched lunis disappear into the forest, her stomach twisting with anxiety. she turned back to the human, who was still leaning casually against the tree, his dark eyes now focused on the soft glow of her wings.

he tilted his head, clearly curious but not prying.  

“you’re making this very difficult,” she muttered under her breath, crossing her arms as she tried to figure out what to do next.  

“i don’t think i’m the one sneaking around on my own island, trying to hide a human.”

y/n glared at him, though her wings gave a faint flicker of nervous energy. “you’re not helping.”  

“i wasn’t aware i was supposed to,” he replied smoothly, his tone carrying just enough teasing to make her grit her teeth.  

with a frustrated sigh, the faerie glanced toward the forest path leading back to their hut. felix could be back at any moment, and if lunis—or any of the other pixies—decided to snitch, things could spiral very quickly.  

“alright,” she said firmly, snapping hyunjin out of his casual amusement. “you’re coming with me.”  

he blinked, straightening up slightly. “i am?”  

“yes,” she said, grabbing the leftover food and tucking it into a small woven pouch at her side. “you can’t stay out here. if felix sees you…” she trailed off, her wings giving an involuntary twitch at the thought.  

he raised an eyebrow. “this felix must be quite terrifying.”  

“considering you're a human, you can say that.”

“he’s not terrifying,” she replied quickly, though her voice wavered slightly. “he’s just… protective. and if he sees you, he’ll—” she paused, wringing her hands nervously. “you'll probably have a death wish.”  

hyunjin’s lips twitched as though suppressing a laugh. “sounds like someone i’d love to meet.”  

“you’re not meeting him!” she snapped, flustered. “now, come on. and be quiet.”  

without giving him a chance to argue, she tugged at his arm. to her surprise, he followed her without complaint, his long strides making it easy to keep up.  

“where are we going?” he asked, his voice low enough not to echo through the forest.

“somewhere felix won’t look,” she said simply, her eyes darting around nervously as they walked.  

“do you even know where that is?”  

“yes!” she said quickly, though her voice lacked conviction.  

hyunjin chuckled softly, the sound warm and surprisingly comforting. “you’re terrible at lying.”  

she shot him a glare over her shoulder. “quiet.”  

eventually, they reached a small grove not far from the hut but hidden enough by thick vines and towering trees. y/n pushed aside some of the greenery, revealing a small hollow nestled against the roots of a massive tree.  

“here,” she said, gesturing for him to duck inside.  

hyunjin looked at the hollow, then back at her with a raised eyebrow. “you want me to hide in there?”  

“did i ask you to argue?” she said, exasperated. “ it’s temporary, just until i figure out what to do.”  

he sighed dramatically but crouched down, squeezing into the hollow. once inside, he leaned back against the tree roots, his legs stretched out awkwardly.  

“comfortable?” she asked sarcastically.  

“very,” he replied, though his tone was more amused than annoyed. “the best in town.”  

y/n rolled her eyes and began to pull the vines back into place, ensuring the hollow was completely hidden. “stay here. don’t make a sound. and if you hear anything—”  

“run?” he offered, his lips twitching into a smile.  

“hide,” she corrected, giving him a stern look.  

hyunjin chuckled again, resting his head against the tree roots. “yes, ma’am.”  

y/n sighed, stepping back to inspect her handiwork. it wasn’t perfect, but it would have to do. she turned to head back to the hut, but as soon as she stepped out of the grove, she froze.  

felix was standing a few feet away, his silver hair glinting in the sunlight. he held a bundle of firewood in his arms, his sharp blue eyes narrowing as they locked onto her emerald ones.  

“y/n,” he said slowly, his voice calm but laced with suspicion. “what are you doing out here?”  

y/n’s heart skipped a beat, and she forced a smile onto her face. “oh, just… exploring!”  

felix tilted his head, clearly unconvinced. “exploring? near the grove we’ve told you a hundred times to stay away from?”  

y/n faltered, her wings fluttering nervously. “it’s not that dangerous…”  

felix stepped closer, his gaze narrowing. “what are you hiding?”  

“hiding?” she repeated, her voice going an octave higher. “i’m not hiding anything!”  

felix raised an eyebrow, his eyes scanning the area. “y/n.”  

she opened her mouth to respond, but a sudden rustling from the grove behind her made her heart stop.  

“what was that?” felix asked, his eyes snapping to the source of the sound.  

“probably just a squirrel!” she said quickly, stepping in front of him to block his path.  

felix’s gaze darkened. “move.”  

“felix—”  

“move, y/n,” he said firmly, his voice low but commanding.  

before she could argue, another rustle came from the grove, followed by a soft, muffled curse. y/n’s stomach dropped as she recognized the voice.  

felix’s eyes widened, and without another word, he pushed past her, shoving the vines aside to reveal hyunjin crouched awkwardly in the hollow.  

for a moment, there was silence. felix stared at hyunjin, his expression unreadable, while hyunjin blinked up at him, a faint smirk tugging at his lips.  

“well,” hyunjin said casually, leaning back against the tree roots. “this is awkward.”  

y/n groaned, burying her face in her hands. “oh no…”  

felix slowly turned to look at her, his expression a mix of disbelief and fury. “y/n.”  

“felix, i can explain—”  

“explain?” he repeated, his voice rising. “you’ve been hiding a human?!”  

“it’s not what it looks like!” she said desperately.  

felix gestured wildly at hyunjin. “it looks like there’s a human sitting in our grove!”  

hyunjin raised a hand in a mock wave. “pleased to meet you too.”  

felix ignored him, his focus entirely on y/n. “do you have any idea how dangerous this is? what were you thinking?”  

“i was thinking i couldn’t let him die!” she shot back, her wings flaring slightly.  

felix opened his mouth to argue, but hyunjin interrupted, his tone calm but firm. “if it helps, i don’t plan on hurting anyone.”  

felix turned to glare at him. “you’re not helping.”  

hyunjin shrugged. “didn’t think i was.”  

“you just said you were.”

“details.”

y/n groaned again, pulling at her hair.  

hyunjin glanced at y/n, who looked like she wanted to sink into the ground. “looks like i’m staying,” he said with a small smile.  

felix stood between y/n and hyunjin, his shoulders squared, his blue eyes ice-cold as they bore into hyunjin's. his usual calm demeanor was gone, replaced with sharp intensity, his protective instincts flaring like a storm.  

“inside,” felix said, his voice low but unyielding as he gestured toward the hut.  

y/n hesitated, her wings fluttering nervously behind her. “but—”  

“now,” felix interrupted, his tone firm and final.  

y/n frowned, her voice rising slightly. “felix, we can just sort this out tog—”  

he turned to her sharply, his frustration evident. “y/n, he could be a monster for all we know!”  

that was the breaking point. her wings flared, her voice trembling with suppressed anger. “i’m sick of you trying to protect me as if i’m some fragile kid! i know how to protect myself!”  

felix’s jaw tightened, but his expression didn’t soften. instead, his voice grew quieter, steadier, but still firm. “this isn’t up for debate. go inside.”  

y/n’s lips pressed into a thin line, her fists clenching at her sides as she glared at him. for a moment, it looked like she might argue again, but she sighed heavily instead. her wings drooped slightly as she turned away, her voice quieter but still laced with frustration. “you're being unreasonable.”  

without looking back, she made her way to the hut, her footsteps heavier than usual. the door shut behind her with a soft thud, leaving an uncomfortable silence between felix and hyunjin.  

hyunjin, still seated near the hollow, raised an eyebrow as he observed felix. “that was… intense,” he said, his tone light but not mocking.  

felix didn’t respond immediately. he crossed his arms, his posture rigid as he looked down at the stranger. “who are you?” he asked, his voice cold and unyielding.  

“i told her already,” hyunjin replied evenly, though there was a flicker of tension in his voice. “my name is hyunjin. i’m—”  

“i didn’t ask for your name,” felix interrupted, stepping closer as he pulled out a dagger from his satchel. “i asked who you are. what are you doing here? where did you come from?”  

hyunjin’s jaw tightened slightly, but he kept his composure. “i was shipwrecked. that’s all.”  

felix narrowed his eyes, his voice dropping lower. “and yet you just so happened to wash up on our island? a place no human has ever stepped foot on before?”  

hyunjin met his gaze, his dark eyes steady. “it wasn’t intentional, i assure you. my ship was caught in a storm. i didn’t even know this place existed.”  

felix tilted his head slightly, studying him with an almost predatory sharpness. “convenient, isn’t it? that you just happened to end up here, on an island full of creatures you filthy humans only tell stories about?”  

hyunjin’s lips twitched into a faint smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “you seem to think i had a choice in the matter.”  

felix took another step closer, his voice sharp. “i don’t trust you. we don't trust you. and if you so much as look at y/n the wrong way—”  

“i won’t harm any of you,” hyunjin interrupted, his tone firm but calm. “i swear it.”  

felix’s eyes narrowed further. “words mean nothing. especially from a human.”  

hyunjin sighed softly, running a hand through his hair. “you’re protective of the island. i understand that. but i have no intention of hurting her or anyone else here. i’m just trying to survive.”  

felix didn’t respond immediately, his sharp gaze lingering on hyunjin as though he could see through him. the tension between them was thick, the air charged with unspoken threats.  

finally, felix stepped back slightly, though his posture remained tense. “if you’re lying—if you’re here for anything other than survival—i will find out. and you won’t like what happens next.”  

hyunjin nodded once, his expression serious. “understood.”  

felix’s gaze lingered on him for another moment before he turned toward the hut. “stay here,” he ordered. “don’t move until i say so.”  

as felix walked away, hyunjin let out a slow breath, leaning back against the tree roots. he glanced toward the hut, where he could faintly see y/n’s silhouette through the window.  

the evening sun painted the sky with shades of amber and pink, its warm glow spilling through the trees and casting dappled light onto the forest floor.

y/n approached hyunjin cautiously, her small frame barely making a sound as she stepped over roots and leaves. her hands clutched a wooden tray of food she’d carefully prepared—fruits, nuts, and a bowl of fresh water gathered from the spring. her wings, brighter now in the fading light, folded neatly behind her, their tips brushing the sides of her flowing dress.

hyunjin sat by the same tree, his legs stretched out and his arms resting on his knees. he looked up as she approached, his dark eyes catching the golden light. a faint smile curved his lips, the kind that felt like a secret shared only between the two of them, though she wasn’t in the mood to reciprocate. 

“you again,” he said lightly, his voice carrying a warmth that contrasted with the tense energy she brought with her. “i thought your guard dog would’ve chained you to the hut by now.”  

“don’t,” she cut him off sharply, her voice firmer than he’d ever heard it before. she stopped a few paces away, her fingers tightening around the tray. “i didn’t come here to exchange jokes.”  

his smile faded slightly, replaced by an expression of mild surprise. he sat up straighter, sensing the shift in her demeanor. “alright,” he said carefully, leaning back against the tree. “what d-”  

“you need to leave, hyunjin.”  

the words hung in the air, heavier than the twilight. hyunjin’s eyebrows lifted, and he tilted his head slightly, studying her. “so you agree now?”  

“yes,” she said, stepping closer and setting the tray down on the ground between them. she straightened, her arms crossing over her chest as she stared down at him. “felix is right. lunis is right. you shouldn’t be here. you don’t belong here.”  

he raised an eyebrow, his tone teasing despite the weight of her words. “harsh. you’re not exactly rolling out the welcome mat, are you?”  

she didn’t respond to his humor, her face remaining serious. “this island is not meant for humans like you. it’s dangerous—for you and for us.”  

“dangerous?” he echoed, his voice softening slightly. “i don’t see anything dangerous about you, though.” his gaze flicked to her wings, his expression unreadable.  

her wings twitched slightly, a reflex she couldn’t suppress, but her face didn’t falter. “that’s exactly the problem,” she said quietly. “you don’t understand. you don’t know what you’ve stumbled into.”  

hyunjin leaned forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees as he looked up at her. “then explain it to me. help me understand.”  

“no,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “it’s not for you to know! it’s not for you to be here. you need to leave.”  

he let out a soft sigh, leaning back again. “i need to.. but how do you expect me to leave? swim?”  

“i don’t care how you leave,” she said, her voice harder now, though there was a tremble beneath it that betrayed her emotions. “you just… you can’t stay. we don’t know you. we don’t know what you’ll bring here.”  

hyunjin was silent for a moment, his eyes searching her face. when he spoke again, his voice was quieter. “you’re scared of me.”  

her jaw tightened, and she looked away, her wings fluttering slightly behind her. “i’m not scared of you,” she said, though the words sounded more like a defense than a truth.  

“you are,” he said softly. “not for yourself, maybe. but for the others. for the island.”  

her gaze snapped back to him, her eyes narrowing. “don’t pretend like you know me. you don’t know anything about me or why i’m asking you to leave.”  

he raised his hands slightly in mock surrender. “alright, fair enough. i don’t know you. but i do know one thing—you healed me.”  

her breath hitched slightly, and she looked away again. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”  

“yes, you do,” he said, his tone still gentle. “i woke up, and the wounds were gone. that wasn’t an accident. that was you.”  

“you quite almost admitted it to your little.. pixie back at the shore, you know.”

her hands clenched into fists at her sides, and her wings twitched again, a faint glow pulsing through them despite the dim light. “you’re hearing things,” she said, her voice quieter now.  

he didn’t push her further, sensing the walls she’d built around herself. instead, he leaned back again, his head resting against the tree trunk as he let out a soft sigh. “alright, i’ll leave. but let me ask you something first.”  

she looked at him warily, her wings settling behind her. “what?”  

“if you were so certain i shouldn’t be here,” he said, his eyes meeting hers, “why did you save me?”  

the question hit her like a gust of wind, stealing the breath from her lungs. she opened her mouth to respond but found no words, her voice lost somewhere in the turmoil of her thoughts.  

“i…” she began, but the sound of felix’s voice calling her name from the hut cut through the air like a blade.  

her wings snapped shut against her back, and she took a step away from hyunjin. “i have to go,” she said quickly, her voice unsteady.  

“of course,” he said softly, watching as she turned and hurried back toward the hut, her wings shimmering faintly in the fading light.  

as she disappeared into the trees, hyunjin leaned his head back against the trunk, a faint, bittersweet smile playing on his lips. “you're scared,” he murmured to himself, “but not of me.”  

and that's how their story began.

the soft babble of the stream echoed through the forest as y/n crouched by the water’s edge, her wings glimmering faintly under the dappled sunlight. she was humming a soft tune, her hands carefully filling a large, carved wooden bowl with the crystal-clear water. hyunjin approached quietly from behind, his presence as calm as the gentle breeze.  

“you hum a lot,” hyunjin said, crouching beside her. his voice was low but playful, laced with the kind of teasing she’d grown used to over the past two months.  

y/n glanced at him, her brown eyes sparkling. “and you sulk a lot.”  

hyunjin chuckled, dipping his hands into the stream to feel the coolness of the water. “i don’t sulk.”  

“oh, you do,” she replied, lifting the bowl and standing up. she turned to him, her wings fluttering slightly. “you sulk when felix doesn’t trust you, you sulk when i win an argument, and you definitely sulk when you get caught staring.”  

he froze mid-motion, his dark eyes widening slightly before narrowing into an embarrassed glare. “i do not—”  

“do too,” she cut him off, sticking her tongue out playfully before turning to walk back toward the hut.  

hyunjin stood there for a moment, watching her retreating figure, her light brown hair catching the sun and her wings shimmering like they were spun from golden silk. he let out a soft, defeated laugh before following her.  

the hut was filled with the earthy scent of freshly picked mushrooms and herbs. y/n stood at the small wooden counter, chopping the ingredients with quick, precise movements. hyunjin leaned against the wall nearby, watching her with an amused expression.  

“are you going to help, or are you just going to stand there and look pretty?” y/n asked without looking up, her voice sweet but teasing.  

“you think i'm pretty?”

“everyone's pretty.”

“fine then, i’m more useful looking pretty,” hyunjin quipped, crossing his arms. “besides, last time i tried to help, felix nearly threw me out for ruining the stew.”  

y/n giggled, her wings twitching slightly as she glanced over her shoulder at him. “you can’t ruin this one. it’s just mushroom soup. even you can’t mess that up.”  

he pushed off the wall and came to stand beside her, his shoulder brushing hers lightly. “fine. tell me what to do, boss.”  

“start with these,” she said, handing him a bundle of herbs. “tear the leaves off gently. don’t crush them.”  

hyunjin took the herbs and began working, his fingers surprisingly deft. for a moment, they worked in comfortable silence, the sound of chopping and the crackle of the fire filling the room.  

“you’re getting better at this,” y/n admitted, glancing at him.  

he smirked, meeting her gaze. “careful, y/n. if you keep complimenting me, i might start thinking you like having me around.”  

“don’t push your luck, prince.”  

the night was calm, the sky above them a tapestry of stars. y/n and hyunjin sat on a log near the edge of the forest, the faint sound of waves crashing against the shore in the distance.  

y/n hugged her knees to her chest, her wings tucked neatly behind her. “do you miss it?” she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.  

“miss what?” hyunjin asked, leaning back on his hands as he looked up at the stars.  

“the kingdom. your home.”  

he was quiet for a moment, his gaze fixed on the heavens. “sometimes,” he admitted. “but it’s not like the stories, y/n. it’s not all grand halls and royal banquets. there’s… a lot of pressure. expectations.”  

she looked at him, her eyes filled with curiosity. “but you were a prince. isn’t that… amazing?”  

hyunjin turned to her, his expression soft but serious. “it sounds amazing until you realize you don’t get to choose your own life. you don’t get to be free.” he paused, his gaze dropping to her wings. “here, it’s different. you’re free.”  

she blinked, taken aback by the vulnerability in his voice. “but we’re not free either. we’re trapped on this island, waiting for something we’re not even sure exists anymore.”  

hyunjin reached out hesitantly, his fingers brushing against hers for the briefest moment. “you don’t seem trapped to me,” he said softly.  

her cheeks flushed, and she quickly pulled her hand back, breaking the moment. “you’re impossible,” she muttered, standing up.  

“and you’re adorable,” he called after her, earning a glare that was more flustered than angry.  

the three of them sat around the fire in the hut, felix sharpening a knife while hyunjin and y/n bickered about something trivial.  

“i’m just saying,” hyunjin argued, leaning forward, “if i were in charge of gathering berries, we wouldn’t have run out last week.”  

“that’s because you’d eat them all before we even got home,” y/n shot back, her wings twitching in irritation.  

felix snorted, surprising both of them. they turned to look at him, and he shrugged, a rare smile tugging at his lips. “she’s got a point, hyunjin.”  

hyunjin gasped in mock betrayal. “et tu, felix?”  

“don’t push your luck,” felix said, though his tone was lighter than usual. he glanced at y/n, his expression softening. “you two are loud enough to scare away every creature in the forest.”  

“as if we're not all friends with them.” y/n stuck her tongue out at him, but the warmth in his voice didn’t go unnoticed. despite his cautious nature, felix had grown used to hyunjin’s presence, even if he didn’t fully trust him yet.  

“hold still,” hyunjin said, stepping closer.  

she froze as he reached up, his fingers gently pulling a vine free from her tangled brown hair. his touch was careful, almost reverent, and when he looked down at her, their faces were inches apart.  

her breath hitched, and for a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath with her. his dark eyes searched hers, and the corner of his mouth quirked up in a faint smile.  

“you have the worst luck with plants,” he murmured.  

“and you have the worst timing,” she shot back, though her voice was soft.  

his smile widened, but he didn’t move away.

“y/n! hyunjin!” felix’s voice called from inside the hut, breaking the moment.  

she stepped back quickly, her cheeks flushing as she turned toward the door. “we’re coming!” she called, her voice higher than usual.  

hyunjin watched her retreat, a small, bittersweet smile playing on his lips. “saved by the guard dog,” he muttered under his breath, following her inside.  

the day began like any other. the sun rose over the island, golden light cascading through the trees, and the morning was filled with the soft hum of the forest’s life. y/n fluttered about the hut as usual, her wings shimmering faintly in the light, while hyunjin watched her with his usual soft amusement. felix was out gathering supplies, leaving the two alone.  

by midday, y/n had gone quiet. she drifted to the shore after lunch, her head low, her shoulders slumped. hyunjin watched her go but didn’t follow right away. she often needed time to herself, especially when the weight of their missing friends grew heavy in her heart.  

she sat near the edge of the water, her wings folded tightly against her back as she drew aimless patterns in the sand with her finger. the gentle waves lapped at the shore, and the sound, usually comforting, only reminded her of the emptiness she felt. the pixie butterflies, always fluttering nearby, hovered uncertainly.  

“y/n,” one of them chirped, its tiny voice tinged with concern. “you shouldn’t be sad. they’ll come back. they always come back.”  

she gave the butterfly a small, weary smile. “i hope so,” she murmured. “but it’s been so long. what if something happened to them? what if they can’t find their way back?”  

another pixie, its glow faint in the daylight, landed on her knee. “you’re not alone,” it said, its voice soft. “you have us. you have felix. and… you have him.”  

y/n blinked, her gaze lifting toward the trees. she could see a figure approaching, and her heart sank slightly. she didn’t want him to see her like this.  

but it was too late. hyunjin was already there.  

“hey,” hyunjin called softly, his voice cutting through the sound of the waves.  

she quickly wiped at her eyes, pretending she hadn’t been crying. “what are you doing here?” she asked, trying to sound annoyed, but her voice cracked, betraying her.  

“looking for you,” hyunjin sat beside her, his dark eyes scanning her face. he frowned. “you’ve been crying.”  

“no, i haven’t,” she lied, turning away.  

“y/n,” he said again, his voice gentle but firm. he reached out, his fingers brushing against her arm. “talk to me.”  

for a moment, she didn’t respond. the silence stretched between them, filled only by the rhythm of the waves. finally, she sighed, her shoulders slumping.  

“i miss them,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “felix acts like everything’s fine, but what if it’s not? what if they’re hurt? or… or worse?”  

hyunjin’s chest tightened at the sight of her distress. he’d seen her cheerful, teasing, radiant. this version of her—fragile and vulnerable—pulled at something deep inside him.  

“they’ll come back,” he said softly. “they wouldn’t leave you behind. not forever.”  

she shook her head, her wings trembling slightly. “you don’t know that. you don’t know them.”  

“no, i don’t,” he admitted. “but i know you. and i know your love for them. and that you’re strong enough to wait for them. strong enough to hope.”  

her lip trembled, and she looked away, but he wasn’t going to let her retreat.  

he shifted closer, sitting beside her in the sand. he didn’t speak right away, giving her the space to gather her thoughts. slowly, hesitantly, she leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder.  

he froze for a moment, startled by the sudden closeness, but then his body relaxed. his arm came up around her shoulders, holding her gently.  

“i don’t want to be strong all the time,” she confessed, her voice muffled against him.

“you don’t have to be,” he said quietly. “not with me.”  

the pixie butterflies fluttered around them, their tiny voices whispering reassurances, but neither y/n nor hyunjin paid them any mind.  

“you’re better at this than i thought,” she muttered after a moment, her voice tinged with the faintest hint of her usual teasing.  

hyunjin chuckled softly. “at what?”  

“at… comforting,” she said, her wings twitching slightly.  

“i’m a quick learner,” he replied, his tone warm.  

the sun had soon began to set, casting the sky in hues of pink and orange. the golden light bathed them, and y/n finally pulled away, just enough to look up at him. her eyes searched his face, taking in the softness of his expression, the way the light danced in his dark eyes.  

“why are you always here when i need you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.  

“maybe because i need you too,” he said simply.  

her breath hitched, and for a moment, neither of them moved. the world seemed to hold its breath with them, the only sound the gentle crash of the waves.  

hyunjin’s hand came up, hesitating for a moment before brushing a strand of hair from her face. his fingers lingered, and his gaze dropped to her lips.  

“y/n,” he murmured, his voice low and full of emotion.  

she didn’t respond, but she didn’t pull away either. and that was all the invitation he needed. slowly, carefully, he leaned in, his lips brushing hers in a kiss that was soft and hesitant but full of unspoken feelings.  

his breath was warm, tasting faintly of honey and wild berries as it mingled with hers, soft and trembling against the curve of her mouth. the kiss was delicate at first, like a whispered secret, but it deepened with the gravity of unspoken longing — slow, careful, reverent. his hand rose instinctively to cradle her face, the pad of his thumb brushing lightly over her cheek as if to memorize the contours of her fragility.

her wings quivered behind her, the faint luminescence pulsing in rhythm with her heart, each beat a spark of life tethered to his touch. as the kiss unfolded, her fingers knotted into the coarse fabric of his tunic, grasping as if he might vanish like a dream. a small sigh escaped her lips as his kiss became more certain, a tender pressure that spoke of yearning held back for too long.

there, between them, time stretched and blurred. every fleeting caress of his lips on hers sent a warmth spiraling through her chest, a fire that burned but did not consume. when they finally drew apart, breathless and trembling, their foreheads touched, the world around them silent but for the echo of their shared heartbeat. neither dared speak, afraid that words might shatter the fragile, aching beauty of the moment.

“thank you,” she whispered, her eyes fluttering closed.  

“for what?” he asked, his voice equally soft.  

“for being here.”  

he smiled, his hand gently cupping her cheek. “always.”  

and as the first stars began to appear in the night sky, they stayed there, wrapped in each other’s warmth, the rest of the world forgotten.  

the sun was low in the sky, its warm hues bleeding into the deep green of the woods and the soft blues of the shore. y/n and hyunjin walked side by side, the sand beneath their feet cool as the tide ebbed and flowed. felix had stayed behind at the hut, muttering something about needing to sort the herbs and supplies, though they both knew he was giving them space.  

hyunjin held a woven basket filled with fruits they’d picked from the trees near the shore. it wasn’t heavy, but he made a show of carrying it with exaggerated effort.  

“oh no,” he groaned dramatically, his knees bending as if he might collapse under the imaginary weight. “it’s just… so heavy. i’m not sure i’ll make it.”  

y/n rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her grin. “you’re insufferable,” she said, plucking a bright blue fruit from the basket and taking a bite. its juice stained her lips, the taste sweet and tangy.  

“i’m the one carrying the basket, y/n,” he shot back, smirking. “the least you could do is thank me.”  

“thank you, oh mighty prince,” she replied, her voice dripping with mock reverence. “how ever would i survive without your unparalleled strength?”  

he laughed, the sound light and genuine, and y/n felt her heart flutter. she looked away quickly, pretending to focus on a tiny cluster of pixie butterflies that flitted nearby.  

as the day stretched into the golden hues of the late afternoon, they moved into the woods. the canopy above was thick, filtering the sunlight into soft beams that danced across the ground. hyunjin reached up to pluck a low-hanging flower with petals that shimmered faintly, handing it to y/n with a flourish.  

“for you,” he said with a grin, holding it out dramatically as if offering her the most precious treasure.  

y/n accepted it with a small laugh, tucking it into her hair. “do you do this for all the ladies you meet?”  

“just the prettiest ones,” he said, winking, and she smacked his arm lightly.  

they walked further, hyunjin listening intently as y/n pointed out different plants and their uses. he was fascinated by how much she knew about the forest, about the life that thrived here.  

“you know,” he said, leaning against a tree, “i used to think the stories about faeries and magical islands were just that—stories. something to entertain bored princesses.”  

“and now?” she asked, tilting her head to look at him.  

“now i think the stories didn’t do you justice,” he said softly, and her cheeks flushed.  

by the time night fell, they were lying on a patch of soft grass beneath the open sky. the stars were brilliant, their light scattered like diamonds across the dark canvas. fireflies danced in the air, their glow adding a soft warmth to the cool night.  

y/n lay on her back, her wings spread out behind her like a shimmering halo. hyunjin lay beside her, his head propped on one arm as he watched her.  

“you know,” he said after a moment, “i think i could stay here forever.”  

she turned her head to look at him, her brows furrowing slightly. “you say that now,” she said. “but what about your kingdom? your life there?”  

he shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. “what about it? it doesn’t feel like my life anymore.”  

y/n was silent for a moment, her gaze drifting back to the stars. “you don’t miss it?”  

“there are things i miss,” he admitted. “my mother, for one. but most of it? no. i was born into a life that was decided for me. here, with you and felix… it feels like i’m finally making my own choices.”  

y/n smiled softly at that, her heart warming. “i’m glad you feel that way.”  

he shifted closer, his arm brushing against hers. “what about you?” he asked. “do you ever wish for something more than this island?”  

she thought about it, her eyes fixed on the sky. “sometimes,” she said honestly. “but then i think about how much i love this place. the forest, the creatures, felix, our friends… it’s my home.”  

“it’s a beautiful home,” hyunjin said softly.  

they talked for hours, their voices soft and steady as the night deepened around them. hyunjin told her stories of his childhood, of the palace gardens and the books he’d read. y/n shared tales of the forest, of her first flight, and the mischief she’d gotten into with felix.  

at some point, y/n’s eyelids began to droop, her words becoming slower and softer. hyunjin noticed and smiled, his heart swelling at the sight of her peaceful expression.

“sleep, y/n,” he murmured, his voice low and gentle.  

“i’m fine,” she mumbled, but her wings gave a small, sleepy flutter.  

he shook his head, chuckling softly. “come here,” he said, reaching out to pull her closer.  

she didn’t resist, letting him wrap an arm around her and pull her against his chest. his other hand rested lightly on the edge of her wings, careful not to disturb them.  

“you’re warm,” she muttered, her voice muffled against him.  

“good,” he said, resting his chin lightly on the top of her head. “now sleep.”  

her breathing slowed, and soon she was asleep, her body relaxed against his. hyunjin stayed awake a little longer, his eyes fixed on the stars above. he didn’t know what the future held, but in that moment, with y/n in his arms and the forest around them, he felt like he was exactly where he was meant to be.

~

the forest was deathly quiet under the pale silver of the moon. the fireflies were gone, the night was still, and the warm hum of life that usually enveloped the woods felt like a distant memory. y/n stirred, her face pressing against the grass as her eyes fluttered open.

a searing, unbearable pain jolted through her entire body. it was a sharp, raw agony that made her gasp, her hands scrambling to her back. her heart stopped when her fingers brushed against the sticky wetness of her blood, now pooling and staining the grass.

she tried to sit up but collapsed back with a cry. her breathing was shallow and frantic as her mind tried to make sense of what was happening. her wings—her beautiful, radiant wings—were gone. all she could feel was the torn flesh of her back, blood trickling down in rivulets.

her trembling gaze darted around the clearing, searching, desperate. feathers. blood. emptiness. the pain was unbearable, but the hollow ache in her heart felt worse.

“w-where…” she rasped, choking on the words. tears blurred her vision as her fingers clawed at the ground, pulling herself forward.

and then she saw him.

in the distance, just beyond the trees, hyunjin stood. his figure was shadowed under the moonlight, but she could make out the shape of her wings in his trembling hands. they drooped lifelessly, their glow gone, coated in her blood.

her breath hitched. a wave of disbelief and nausea overtook her as her eyes trailed to the dagger in his hand, its blade glinting with crimson.

“hyunjin…” her voice broke, barely above a whisper.

he flinched at the sound of her voice, his whole body stiffening. slowly, his head turned toward her, his face pale and twisted with torment.

“hyunjin!” her voice was louder now, raw and filled with anguish. she clawed at the grass, dragging her weakened body toward him. “w-what… what did you…?”

he didn’t move. his grip on her wings was trembling, his eyes wide with tears. “y/n,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “i—”

“you… you c-cut them?” she stammered, her lips quivering as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. her body was shaking violently now, both from the pain and the heartbreak. “m-my wings… why?”

he didn’t answer. he couldn’t. his jaw quivered, and his knees threatened to give out.

“i trusted you,” she choked out, her voice rising with each word. “i… i loved you, hyunjin. and you—”

“i love you,” he interrupted, his voice cracking. tears streamed down his face, but his hands gripped the wings tighter, his knuckles white. “i… i’m so sorry, y/n. i… i had no choice.. i had t-”

“no,” she screamed, her voice breaking into a sob. “no, you didn’t! you didn’t have to—” her words dissolved into cries, her body collapsing to the ground as her strength gave out.

“i’m so sorry,” hyunjin whispered again, his voice trembling. he took one faltering step back, then another. “i didn’t… i didn’t want to…”

“don’t go,” she whimpered, her voice barely audible now. her hand reached out weakly toward him, blood smearing the ground beneath her. “pleae, don’t…”

but he was already backing away, his expression twisted with anguish. “i… i can’t stay,” he said, his voice breaking. “i’m so sorry, y/n. i’m so sorry…”

and then he turned, running toward the shore.

“hyunjin!” she called after him, but her voice cracked, her throat raw. she collapsed again, her vision swimming as the edges of her world began to darken.

the pixies found her first, their tiny voices shrill with panic. “y/n! oh no—oh no, no, no…”

they fluttered around her, their delicate wings buzzing frantically. one of them darted off into the woods, heading straight for felix.

felix burst into the clearing moments later, his eyes wide with horror as they landed on her crumpled form. “y/n!” he shouted, rushing to her side. his hands hovered above her, trembling as he took in the blood, the missing wings, the lifeless feathers scattered around her.

“who did this?” he demanded, his voice sharp with fury and heartbreak. “y/n, tell me! who—”

she couldn’t answer. her lips moved, but no sound came out. her eyes, filled with pain and betrayal, flickered toward the shore.

felix followed her gaze, and his heart sank. “no,” he breathed, his voice low and dangerous. “no. it couldn’t be…”

but deep down, he knew.

his hands clenched into fists, his jaw tightening as rage overtook him. he stood abruptly, his eyes narrowing in the direction of the shore. “stay here,” he said, his voice trembling with anger. “i’ll get him. i’ll make him pay for this.”

“felix…” y/n’s voice was barely a whisper, but he was already gone, running toward the shore.

hyunjin was by the boat when felix arrived, frantically shoving supplies into it. his hands were shaking, and his face was pale, streaked with tears.

“you fucking bastard,” felix roared, his voice booming across the shore.

felix lunged forward, but before he could reach him, hyunjin pushed the boat into the water and jumped in. felix tried to grab him, but the boat was already drifting away, carried by the tide.

“coward!” felix shouted after him, his voice filled with rage and despair. “you’re nothing but a pathetic coward! all of you humans are the same,”

felix stood on the shore, his chest heaving as the weight of what had happened settled over him. slowly, he turned back toward the forest, his heart breaking all over again at the thought of y/n lying there, broken and betrayed.

the forest felt heavier than ever, suffocating under the weight of y/n’s broken sobs. the pixies fluttered around her in disarray, their tiny voices trembling with fear and sorrow. they tried their best to help her, but their small hands could do so little against the open wounds where her wings once were. blood soaked into the grass beneath her, and her body trembled violently as she tried to sit up.

felix was kneeling beside her, his hands trembling as he carefully inspected the jagged, raw flesh on her back. his breath hitched, and he bit down hard on his lip to keep himself from breaking. he had always been her protector, her shield. but now, seeing her like this, so shattered and vulnerable, he felt utterly helpless.

y/n clutched at the grass beneath her, her nails digging into the dirt as if it were the only thing keeping her tethered to reality. her sobs were wrenching, filled with a pain that cut deeper than anything felix had ever heard before.

“my wings…” she whimpered, her voice cracking. “they’re gone,” she choked on her words, her whole body shaking as tears streamed down her face. “he took them, he took them,”

felix clenched his jaw, his heart splintering into a thousand pieces. he carefully leaned closer, his voice soft but thick with emotion. “y/n, don’t… don’t try to move. please,” he begged, his voice almost breaking. “let me, let me take care of you.”

she turned her tear-streaked face toward him, her eyes filled with devastation. “felix, it hurts,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “it hurts so much…”

“i know,” he said, his voice shaking. he reached out to gently brush her hair away from her face, his touch tender and careful. “i know, y/nnie, i’m so sorry. i’m so sorry. i couldn't protect you from that-”

the pixies flitted closer, their tiny hands trying to staunch the bleeding with makeshift cloths woven from leaves. their voices were small and filled with sorrow as they worked together, murmuring apologies and soft reassurances.

felix’s hands were steady despite his own breaking heart. he pressed a clean cloth—one the pixies handed him—against her back, trying to stop the bleeding. she let out a pained cry, her body arching slightly from the sting, and felix froze. “i’m sorry,” he whispered quickly, his voice trembling. “i’m so sorry, y/n. i have to stop the bleeding. i know it hurts. please don't leave me,”

her cries softened into whimpers as she buried her face into the crook of her arm, too weak to fight back. tears streamed freely down felix’s cheeks now, but he blinked them away, focusing entirely on her. “you’re going to be okay,” he whispered, his voice thick. “i’ll make sure of it. i promise.”

y/n’s voice was a broken whisper, her words catching on sobs. “he said he loved me, i trusted him, felix, i trusted him.”

felix felt something in his chest shatter entirely. he paused for a moment, his hands hovering above her wound as he struggled to compose himself. “i know,” he murmured, his voice barely holding together. “i know you did. and he… he didn’t deserve that trust. he didn’t deserve you.”

her crying only grew louder, her entire body trembling as she tried to speak but couldn’t find the words. felix couldn’t hold back anymore. he wrapped his arms around her gently, pulling her fragile, trembling form against his chest. “it’s okay,” he whispered, his voice soft but shaking. “it’s okay, y/n. let it out. i’ve got you.”

she sobbed against him, her fists weakly clutching his shirt as if it were the only thing keeping her from falling apart completely. felix held her tighter, his chin resting on the top of her head as tears slipped down his own cheeks. “you’re safe now,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “you’re safe. i won’t let anyone hurt you again. i promise.”

the pixies buzzed around them, their small hands still trying to help where they could. one of them placed a tiny hand on felix’s arm, their voice trembling. “we’ll take care of her, too,” they said softly. “we’ll stay by her side.”

felix nodded, his throat too tight to speak. his fingers gently combed through y/n’s hair, his heart aching with every broken sob that escaped her lips.

“it’s okay to cry,” he whispered after a moment, his voice soothing and steady. “you don’t have to hold it in, y/n. i’m here. i’ll always be here.”

her sobs began to quiet after what felt like hours, her body still trembling but her breathing slowing. felix stayed with her, his arms wrapped around her protectively, his heart breaking with every tear she shed.

when her voice finally came, it was barely audible, a fragile whisper in the dark. “what am i without my wings, felix?”

“you’re y/n,” he said softly, his voice filled with a quiet strength. “you’re the strongest, kindest, most beautiful soul i’ve ever known. wings or no wings, you’re still you. and that’s all that matters.”

her tears came again, but this time they were softer, quieter. felix didn’t let go, holding her close as the night wore on. and in that moment, under the pale light of the moon, he silently vowed to never let anyone hurt her again.

y/n felt as though her soul had been torn in half, a gaping void where her wings once rested. the pain was not merely physical—it radiated deep into her core, an anguish that transcended her body and seeped into her spirit. it was as if the very essence of her being, the part that connected her to the skies and the world she loved, had been ripped away, leaving her hollow and unmoored.

the raw, jagged ache on her back was relentless, burning and stinging with every shallow breath she took. but it was nothing compared to the agony in her heart. her wings had been more than an extension of her body; they were her freedom, her identity, her connection to the magic of her world. without them, she felt like a shell of herself, reduced to something fragile and incomplete.

she could feel the emptiness, a haunting absence where her wings had once stretched, catching the sunlight and fluttering in the breeze. they had been a part of her, as vital as her heartbeat, as natural as her breath. now, she felt severed, unwhole, like a bird stripped of its feathers and cast to the ground, unable to fly, unable to soar.

the betrayal was a sharp, cutting ache that rivaled the physical pain. her mind replayed the scene over and over—the dagger glinting in the moonlight, the blood staining the earth, and the face she thought she could trust standing in the shadows. it was a cruel twist of fate, a nightmare come to life. she had let him in, let him see her, the parts of her that she guarded so carefully. and he had taken it all, with a single, merciless act.

tears poured down her face, each one heavy with grief, anger, and confusion. she didn’t understand. how could someone who had once spoken to her so tenderly, someone who had looked at her as though she were the most precious thing in the world, do this? how could he hold her heart in his hands and then shatter it so completely?

her chest heaved with the weight of her sobs, the sound raw and guttural, torn from a place deep inside her that she hadn’t even known existed. she felt like a child again—small, vulnerable, and helpless. her wings had been her strength, her shield against the world, and now they were gone, leaving her exposed and trembling.

she couldn’t stop the spiral of despair that consumed her. what was she now, without her wings? how could she face the world, the skies, her friends? she had always been the one who shone, who lifted others up with her light and laughter. now, she felt like nothing but a shadow, dim and fading.

the world around her seemed to dim as well, the colors muted, the sounds distant. the stars above, once her constant companions, felt cold and far away, as though they, too, had turned their backs on her. she felt untethered, adrift in a sea of pain and loss, with no anchor to hold onto, no way to find her way back.

every inch of her body ached, but it was her soul that bore the brunt of the pain. it was a grief so profound it swallowed her whole, leaving her gasping for air.

she was broken, utterly and completely, and she didn’t know if she could ever be pieced back together.

mastertag ୨୧ @cosmicalily @hyunjiiza @modesttiger

[katiascraft]

✐ᝰ "You knew all too well i was right where you left me" | CL16 ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊

parings: retired!charles leclerc x writer!ex!reader

series summary: It’s the story of a woman frozen in the moment her world fell apart. A perfect dinner ended with, “I met someone else,” and while everyone moved on, she remained stuck in that instant, unable to let go of the past. A poignant tale of heartbreak, grief, and the weight of being trapped in a “forever” that never was.

‎[one / two / three / four / current / six...]

chapter five

"there'll be happiness after you but there was happiness because of you too"

word count: 6k.

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⋆˚࿔ i did something bad 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The kiss that started sweet and gentle turned into a passionate and steamy kiss in a fraction of a second. Franco felt kind of desperate. And to be fair, he was. He has waited his whole life for this moment to happen. Or at least all of these years since he met you. But he was convinced he won’t ever feel like this for any other girl in his entire life. He dated girls, fucked a few, played with them sometimes, tried to make it work. But none of them felt like you, laughed like you, thought like you, joked like you. None of them were you. And what was the craziest thing to him was that he had never tasted you. Not like this. He felt raised to heaven blessed by the gods. He felt like a kid who behaved properly and Santa brought him all of the presents he asked for during the year. A dream came true.  

His hands were all over your back and hips. His touch was warm and determined. He felt like he wanted to remember how you felt, the shape of you under his touch, how your skin felt, how warm he made you feel. 

His kisses were tracing a road down your neck. His lips were soft and wet. They made your skin crawl. Your fingers in his hair and shoulders trying to remain stood under his embrace. His skin was soft and his perfume was leaving you drunker by its whiskey scent. That smell defined him very well in your opinion. His skin was on fire. You couldn’t help but feel things you aren’t supposed to feel with your best friend. Well, you were doing things you’re not supposed to do with your bestie either. 

Your breath was heavy. Your heart rate elevated. He came back to your lips and the way he kisses you gently again burnt your body. You felt a heat you haven’t felt in a long time for anyone. If you didn’t remember to be this intense before. Franco was franco. And that implied that everything was different. Unique. He wasn’t like other guys. I mean, he was the most cheerful guy you have ever met. You couldn’t stop laughing around him. It  was impossible not to or have a serious conversation. But at the same time he was such a great listener. When you told him about Charles that you ended up crying, he was the most comforting person. You knew at that moment your friendship made a turn. A turn into one of the most precious relationships you have in your life. He was so comprehensive. It is actually so rare to meet someone like that in this fucked up society these days. 

And for some reason or maybe for all of those reasons, this felt really wrong. You didn’t want to hurt him. You always knew he liked you, of course you did. It was obvious. The way he looked at you. All out of context presents or compliments. All of his invitations to every grand prix during the year. The facetime calls at random times in the day just to check in. and you liked all of that but always tried to make sure you didn’t play with his feelings. Respecting spaces and distances. Codes. He was really important to you, you just couldn’t risk him just like that. Just for a kiss or sex. He deserved to be so happy with someone 100% into him. And you kinda hated destiny for making him like you when you were stuck with Charles and always into someone else (even failing every time). 

But now you hate yourself even more. Not only because you liked to torture yourself in a really twisted way. But also because you were actually kissing him and touching him in not a friendly way. Not the way you’re supposed to touch him. Or to kiss him. Or to spend your time with him. This was so wrong. You knew this would lead to drama. And the worst part is that you couldn’t stop. And maybe you didn’t want to. And why didn’t you? What is your brain planning to do? Making every situation you’re in worse than the previous one. 

And it was the worst scenario possible. You don’t know how you both ended up in Franco's room. His shirt was already off. Your lips were kissing his stomach going down. It was the best situation for him, that’s for sure. You promised to never get this drunk ever again. You stood up after reaching his boxers with your lips. And kissed him again like you wanted to rescued yourself from fuck it all up but at the same time not stopping at all. You were driving Franco insane and for a moment he felt a bit empty. Was this the beginning of something? Or was it just a once in a lifetime night? Thinking about all of this started hunting him. You have never given him signs that you liked him back. But you were one of his best friends. His hands grabbed your head possessively bringing you closer to him starting to lead you to his bed. You followed him, letting him do whatever he wanted with you. 

Were you ready to do this again? 

Surprising as it may sound, you haven’t had sex in a very long time. You liked to have fun with yourself and explore yourself. But it was hard for you to feel something towards someone and desire them this way. Because the only one who used to turn you on was charles. And there he was again in your head. He was always there hunting you. Franco pushed you softly into his bed climbing up on you. And that’s when you woke up from this trance you couldn’t quite comprehend. He was about to undress you when you pushed him again as softly as you could because you were now exasperated about the situation you put yourself under. Franco looked at you scared. He felt he has really fucked it up. 

“y/n i’m sorry, please. Perdon, I didn't mean to.. I’m sorry” he said, getting up and pulling his shirt on again as fast as he could. You tried to adjust yourself heading out the bedroom. You couldn’t face him now. You felt terrible about yourself. You didn’t know how to handle this situation. You were too drunk. But you also knew you wouldn’t know how to deal with this sober either. “y/n wait, please. Let’s talk” he could grab your hand to stop you from leaving the bedroom making you face him. You felt so embarrassed. You felt like a monster. You looked at his face. He was such a good guy and yet here you are about to break his heart. Why didn’t you stop? Why did you let him do this? You knew it was not only your responsibility, it was his as well but still. 

“I'm sorry fran, this shouldn’t have happened. I'm really sorry” when you said those words you could see how his face changed into a one that even broke your heart. He dropped your hand. He knew. He fucking knew you didn’t like him. Then why would you do this? And on his birthday?

You sprinted out of that room immediately. We can say you almost ran away from him. But the reality was that you wanted to run away from yourself and your stupid ass decisions who fucked everything up each single time. The hallway down to where the party was being held never felt so infinite. You knew your anxiety was becoming a bit too much for you at that moment. Catastrophic scenarios were playing on and on in your mind as you took each step down the stairs. The pressure in your chest increases when you see the people at the party. You felt like they were looking at you, judging. Laughing in your face. Howpathetic could you be? Not getting over your only ex fro more than 10 years, then almost fuck your friend thhat you wasn’t sure if you liked him like that for real or not,  then wanting to be over everything and then fucking everything up. You didn't know how to handle these situations. You felt like a teenager again. Too many mistakes. Too confusing. That made you feel ashamed of yourself. You were a 32 years old woman, acting like 17 years old, fucking up friendships while you couldn’t stop thinking of your ex. And that’s when you wanted to throw up. 

You didn’t want to find your friends. You didn’t want to tell them how you fuck it up with the one guy (once again) that is good for you. How you wasted his time and feelings. You felt like a monster. Like you played with him on purpose even if you actually didn’t want to. You were way too harsh on yourself sometimes. You needed to get out of there just like you got away when you first saw Charles again in that restaurant (or well, now it’s a coffee shop). 

It was running away from your fears, you couldn’t confront them. It was running away from you. You hated yourself. You couldn’t think straight and clear about yourself most of the time. The only moment you trusted yourself was when writing. And you also doubted yourself very much on it. You couldn’t win. Your self-confidence didn’t exist. You were sure about it. People were dancing while you were pushing them a bit to walk through the party out to the garden. You need fresh air in your brain as soon as possible. Or you were about to become insane if you didn’t. People said things to you but you didn’t hear. Your eyes locked on the floor. Your stomach was in your throat. The image of Charles stuck in your brain. 

I met someone. I met someone. I met someone. I met someone. I met someone. 

His lips moved, pronouncing those damn three words to your face. As if they were nothing. As if you were nothing at all for him. And maybe you were. You couldn’t imagine Franco saying those things to you, for example. Or maybe men were equal? Maybe you needed to experiment with girls. Maybe they are less complicated and more open. But maybe you were the problem. Too many thoughts per second. You jumped out of every single boat you ended up in. You didn’t know anymore. In your brain, things are too complicated and you know all too well you will need years to repair the damage made to it. From your dad and mum, to Charles and every single other guy you mate. To Franco and to this balcony where you would find someone maybe ready to love you like you matter, like you deserve to feel loved, like you’re amazing and beautiful. Then you were sure you were completely insane. There was no way you were always thinking about someone saving you from yourself. But there you were hoping to meet the love of your life in that gallery outside the party in Franco's house. Maybe writing and your imagination was rotting your brain. You thought about retiring and working in a library as a normal person would do. You didn’t know why you were thinking all of these things suddenly. 

Maybe you were tired and frustrated. You just gave up when you finally got to the garden. The cold air of London fills your lungs, helping you with your anxiety. Your body heat dropped. Your sweaty hands got dry and cold. Your nose is red. Your eyes closed. You were doing your breathing meditation. Your heart palpitations didn’t stop though. And they were fast. Faster than Charles getting over you and everything you built. Faster than you ruining the friendship with franco. Faster than you waiting for someone to save you. Your life sucked. You really didn’t want to think about it like that. But you did. Most times you just couldn't see positive things in it. You felt like a failure. A loser. You didn’t have a lover nor a family. A loser that’s what you were. A complete failure. You had almost no family as well. No father, no mother. Just a brother and a sister who lived on the other side of the world and barely talked to you. Your only family was agostina, your best friend. And she was everything you were not. She has the perfect lover with whom she built a beautiful family of five. Her kids were lovely. She was gorgeous and the greatest person you knew. She was exactly everything you were not. But you didn't hate her. Of course you didn't. You would never think of her like that. It made you as sad as happy for her. Sad for you. Happy for her. 

Why can’t you live something like that? 

“Hey, you okay?” you jumped a little scared because of the sudden interruption to your thoughts and sadness. You turned to your side to find that guy. I think it was Lando's name or something like that Nikola said a few hours ago. When he brought you back to reality you realized you were crying hard. Your face bathed in tears. Cold and puffy. His face was concerned. His eyes are shiny, so blue and green. You found his face so pretty to look at. Alcohol was still in your veins, otherwise you wouldn’t be here crying so dramatically. You would try to hide it. Always. 

⋆˚࿔ let it happen 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Your eyes were on his eyes. Yours were red and puffy. His red is tired and shiny. You stayed in silence for a moment. You answered his question when he saw your face. Something in him cracked for some reason. Oh, he did know you very well. He saw you on that balcony and now that he has you right in front of him, he couldn’t believe you being more beautiful than on that day, but you actually are. He promised Charles he wouldn’t even try but he talked to Carlos about it. Carlos wanted Charles to move on but he was making a move on you and was crossing the line. 

He looked down to his water bottle on his right hand. “Do you want some? Maybe you feel better” he said with a deep voice. He was nervous as hell. Alcohol in his veins as like in yours. He saw your smile. Your face was so pretty. You looked so cute with the boca juniors shirton. He had one as well. He didn’t think they were his colors, blue and yellow, not his thing. But you looked so pretty in them. All of the girls at the party were dressed looking hot as hell. But you and your friends looked cute. Relaxed outfits for the win. And that made you look all so attractive or at least for him. He recognized you a few hours ago. He was kinda shocked to see you there because he has never seen you near franco like ever. You didn’t go to the races nor comment on Franco's posts. Or anything at all. Then here you are. He saw kissing him. He saw you two going up the stairs. Alcohol didn’t let him analizy things properly even if he tried his best in doing so. 

Your fingers that grabbed the bottle from his hand, brushed his sending electricity throughout his arm. He smiled gently at you watching you drink from it. 

“Thank you, and sorry you had to see me cry” you told him, giving his bottle back and he smiled so pretty, shaking his head. You found him so attractive. You were just trying not to be so obvious. Also, you were worried to look like a slut if he saw you kissing Franco before. But why did you care so much? Why were you thinking all of these things about him? 

“Oh no, don’t be sorry. You still look cute tho” he said giggling a bit making you laugh a bit as well. You shook your head not agreeing with him. 

“Thank you again, but no need to lie about that tho” you told him a little funny. 

“I promise I'm not lying. You're pretty even crying” he confessed, making you blush. “You okay? Need to talk or something?” he asked to checkon you even if you were strangers. “Im lando by the way” he introduced himself so this wasn’t that weird. 

“I’m y/n. Nice to meet you. I think I'm better now, I just made a lot of stupid decisions throughout my life that now alcohol just reminds me how much of a loser I am” you were honest. More honest than you would be with anyone. You just blamed the alcohol. 

“Hey, I don't think you’re a loser y/n. I mean, I know we don’t know each other at all. But for me, you don’t look like a loser at all” he expressed. You looked out to the garden in front of you a bit ashamed. 

“Appearances can lie, you know? I’m a loser, I promise you. I’m still stuuckin a fucking restaurante knowing all too well i should’ve move on years ago. But here I am. Fucking up friendships and any opportunity i have to get better and be happy. I just hate myself so much. I won’t ever be happy” you gave up. You no longer cared about what people would think. You didn’t care if he thought you were crazy for telling him so much private stuff. You barely know his name. But there you were comfortable enough to confess your depression to him. He analyzed you. Every detail of your face. Each word you used to describe yourself. 

“I don’t think that makes you a loser still. I think you’re brave enough to tell a stranger how you feel and in my opinion, that takes strength and confidence. And i think you will be happy, you just need to let yourself be” his words hung on the air between you two. Why was a stranger talking to her? Why was he saying things she needed to here? Why his words were important? You were sure he  knew how much of a mess you were. It shows. You were sure. But still he was here. Right when you want someone here waiting for you ready to save you.  Is this who will save you? Are you out of your mind for thinking like this about him? 

Delusion was thinking he will be just like charles wright? You had no idea who this guy was but still you compared him to charles. Because you didn’t want to date Charles again or anyone like him. Or did you? You didn’t know how you felt about all of this. About charles. About yourself. About this guy you don't even know and you want him already to save you just because he called you brave and strong and pretty. Was that really enough for you? Was that the standard you had for yourself? He could be a serial killer right? But you could save him. He could love you. And you would forget about charles. About his touch. About his voice and laugh. About his jokes and moans. About his perfume. About his family and friends. About his cars. About everything related to him. 

But was it fair to love someone to stop loving someone else? 

Did you still love Charles? 

You looked at him again. Your eyes connected. He smiled shyly. You did as well. Maybe you could let this guy ruin you just like Charles did, just because of his face, and his voice and what he said to you without even knowing you. You should get your shit together. You still reeling that fucking monaguesque guy. But at this point you didn’t care anymore. Or at least that’s what you thought. He got closer and kissed your cheek, that took you by surprise but you liked it. Probably way too much.

“I know without knowing you that you’re amazing. You just need to believe it. I’m sure you’ll find someone who sees you” he added and your smile became wider. 

“Thank you, lando.wow. Any stranger said so many nice things about me” you half joked shyly and his cheeks went red. His giggles were the cutest sound you have heard lately. Where was this guy? 

Then you remembered Franco and that this guy probably is his friend. And your back at your self hate again.

Why did everything have to be so difficult?

Why do you have to make so many mistakes at once? 

“y/n, we need your help” Dottie's voice interrupted you two. Her voice seemed worried. “Betty is way too drunk, it’s better if we go home now” she explained, a little suspicious of your both body languages. You nodded. 

“Alright, let’s go. Nice to meet you Lando, hope to talk to you another time though so it’s not that depressing. I promise im fun” you said a bit funny but hurried. Your friend first, always. You kissed his cheek quickly. He laughed about your comment. 

“Oh yea, she is,” Dottie added, supporting you in a smile.

“Hope to see you again sometime, Y/n. good luck with your friend” he said to both of you and after smiling at him you went into the party again.

“D, I think I'm in love,” you said excitedly.

“What?”

⋆˚࿔ it’s time to go 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ the fucking tuesday 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Arriving in monaco again at 11 am has never felt so good in your entire life. A trip that started like a dream to remember, turned into a nightmare you couldn’t forget but all you wanted to was to forget about it. Just pretend it never existed and erase everything you did wrong that Saturday night.

You missed your house (your safe place),and you needed its comfort more than you would like to admit. Your brain was a mess. You couldn’t stop thinking about charles driving you to your friend’s house then the memory just fading away and inturning into him saying non stop i met someone. You felt you were going insane when you remembered Franco's skin on yours and how good and warm it felt. How you kissed his abs. And then how you got so scared. His face was printed in ink in your subconscious. You could only see sadness, shame, and a bit of hatred. You were sure at that moment he hated you. Like you humiliate him a bit. You felt so bad about it you couldn’t even face him. You really wanted to say sorry but you just didn’t want to see him straight in the eyes. Shame was tattooed all over your body. How could you?

Then your mind was reminded of Lando's existence and you just wanted to punch yourself in the face. What the hell happened with you at that party? Was the fernet that Franco prepared? You wanted to blame anything except yourself. You didn’t understand yourself either. Like your feelings and thoughts couldn’t agree on anything. Like you had split personality issues.

Yes, you liked lando way too much probably in those few minutes at the gallery. But then there was Franco that you now were confused about how you felt about him. Because you really liked to kiss him. To touch him. To feel him close to you in that way.

And then there was still charles.

You were really tired of thinking already you just had to put taylor swift on your headphones.you took the bus that left you one block away from your house. You don't want to call anyone to pick you up. You texted A and she told you that. You didn’t understand why she did it. But it overwhelmed you for sure. You just wanted to retreat from life like forever.

When you finally got home you went straight into bed. When you touched your pillow you started crying. And that’s how you fell asleep scared to have another nightmare.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Charles watched Carlos leaving his phone on the counter with a weird face “everything alright mate?” he asked. Carlos nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, did you send the invitation to everyone you know?” he asked, grabbing the box with vodka bottles and taking them to the fridge.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a crazy wild night” Charles said excitedly trying to not let his anxiety control his mood right now. He wanted to have fun and purposely forget about everything with alcohol. A lot of it. As much as possible.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The music was so loud that Charles could barely listen to what the blonde girl in front of him was talking about but he didn’t care that much. He was already bored by the third girl Carlos introduced him to. He knows Carlos just has good intentions but he was already convinced no one will captivate him the way you did. Not even if they tried to imitate you. Since he saw you again he couldn’t forget your scent. The way you smiled to your nephews. How you treated them and how he was confused for a moment if they were your children. He always knew you wanted to be a mother and for what he saw he was sure you would be the best one out there. He wanted to forget about you he really did. But he was also sure life hated him. He wanted to rebuild his life and leave behind the damage he caused, but then there was you again in that fucking restaurant. And in that moment he knew all too well it would drive him insane. And he felt like it. He believed it.

The girl notices he wasn’t paying attention to her. Charles was playing with his glass of whiskey. Her face looked annoyed and disappointed. Charles didn’t care. She told him she needed to go to the bathroom and disappeared for the rest of the night. He drank his whole glass in one take. He just wanted to drown in alcohol right there and vaish from life. From everyone who knew him.

He saw Carlos dancing la macarena with his group of spanish friends that came for the holidays. He was enjoying himself around. Rebecca, his girlfriend, was there as well, matching hia freak. And for a moment he felt something he never felt before and he didn't like it at all. He felt envious. He wanted to have his life. Be him. Have the girl of his dreams dancing around with him. His friends were here but not with him. And he didn’t even like to dance. And don't have anyone to have sex with. Then he felt miserable. Angry with life itself.he was disappointed. He felt he let down everyone in his life. And the proof was that damn book she wrote. He was a coward. And everyone knew about it; they just didn't know it was him all along. And when the truth comes out then his life will be ended.

He swallowed hard and stood up to grab more whiskey. This time he was drinking from the bottle. He pushed himself aside from the party and sat near the pool even if he was freezing. He didn’t care anymore if he got sick or died. He was extreme. He looked at your balcony and wanted to cry. He wanted to cry like a child. Throw punches and scream. He felt there was no way to fix his life. He regretted breaking you so much. He always knew this was everything to you. You were so caring and always there for him and his whole family. He also knew he broke his mum. She loves you deeply. You were like her daughter, the one she never had. The one he and dad would have loved to have if they could choose the sex of their children. Remembering his dad broke him. He started crying. If he was here he knew he would be disappointed in him. Not because of his career (he made history) but because he isn’t with a good woman. He doesn't have kids either. And he now believed he didn't even have a future.

He looked again at your balcony. The lights were off. He didn’t know if you were there or not. If you had a lover. Or even if you have him blocked on social media. And that’s when curiosity won over him. What if he tried to search for your name on instagram? He was sure someone he knew, knew you as well. Monaco is too little to not have those coincidences on the daily.

He searched the first letters of your name and then saw that his ex, alexandra followed you. He felt weird about it and his face showed confusion with his eyebrows. He clicked on your profile and started stalking you. You still paint and have a piano. You used to play piano together. Actually, you taught him. You were the best professor he had ever had. He smiled looking at pictures of random dogs you found on the streets and with your nephews. You built a new family away from your actual family. That made him happy for a second. He knew after both of your parents died, you didn’t get along so well with your siblings. But he didn’t know if it was still like that. He saw how successful you were. How your book was a bestseller and how it would be a movie produced by universal. He was surprised. He would have never expected this outcome. Back in the day you were an art teacher for children and had a studio where you gave those lessons. Children loved you so much. He remembered their bright smiles when the parents came around to pick them up. He admired you so much for it. He even fantasizes that one day that face so bright and happy will be the one your children will have everytime they look at their mother. He wanted to be a father with you. But then alex came around and fucked it all up. Or well he actually did. And he still couldn’t understand why he did it.

Alex Was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that. She also loved him dearly. She was in love with him. And he thought he was with her. But then everything spiraled down and collapsed. He met her at that partymax verstappen threw to celebrate he was an official f1 driver for red bull. He invited everyone he ever met along his life. You couldn’t go because you had to take an exam the following morning. And that’s when it happened. She was dancing with her group of friends. She also had a boyfriend. And we talked and sparks were there. And then Charles got all confused. And they kissed. And he had already cheated by the time he realized that it was wrong. And then he couldn't stop. And his life went to shit.

He didn’t realize he was sobbing until he felt his teardrops stain his creme pants. He was using a fancy outfit. He looked really good. But as everything he touched, he also ruined that too in that moment. And because he was so busy feeling miserable, he didn’t realize the police were already at carlos’ door wanting to shut down the party. I mean, it was a tuesday night of a working week after all.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

When Charles got closer to Carlos, he was already shouting at the police officers like a crazy man. He was drunk for sure and the policeman knew about it too. No perfume will ever smell like that. Not in Monaco of course.

“Then tell me, who will call? I need to know who to call. I never do parties and then once I do I can't and it’s not fair. I need to know who called you, it's my right as a citizen "Carlos was verbose and angry.

“Carlos it’s okay, how much should we pay you to let us have a party?” Charles intervenes trying to look not drunk at all but failing in each word. Police men looked at each other, annoyed by these two men.

“That would be a crime, sir” the police officer with a beard that looked disgusting in charles’ opinion, answered him. He kind of felt offended.

“Then who it was!!” Carlos was losing it and Charles was scared they would take him to jail right there.

“Your neighbor” the other one talked now pointing his fingers to his right. His right.

Your house was at his right. You called the cops. At that moment he felt he was about to faint. He was sure he was white. The policemen looked at him weird. Carlos then started walking. If you were in a cartoon show he would have smoke coming out his head right now. He walked fast towards your hose. Charles panicked and followed him desperate. Carlos started banging your door so he could tell you things.

“Carlos, nono. Let’s just go home, c’mon "Charles tried to convince Carlos but he was determined and ignored him. He won’t let you ruin his party. His celebration. His opportunity to present a woman for his friend to be happy. The one he taught you ruined. Becausehe couldn’t be over you. And he saw all of this as if you were now not letting him be able to in a very twisted way.

Charles was scared and worried when he saw your light turning on by the minute. His eyes wanting to leave his face when he saw you in your marvel pajamas again. Your hair was a mess and your face had the darkest circles under your eyes. Your face puffy as if you were crying or you did before you went to sleep and then they woke you up. No he felt as guilty as when he realized he left the love of his life stuck in that fucking restaurant you both loved so much.

“What the fuck is wrong with you bitch? Huh? Stop torturing my friend!” carlos said aggressively the moment he saw you when you opened the door.

⋆˚࿔ TO BE CONTINUED 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

chapter six: coming soon.

tag list: @a-beaverhausen , @annaluna12 , @thehoplessromanticclub , @emryb , @hadids-world , @kaztheemyth , @freyathehuntress , @diorbrxtz , @theseerbetweenus , @sie17136 , @leila-030304 , @charlesgirl16 , @ricciardosheart , @weekendlusting

author’s note: hope you all have a merry christmas ❤️ and that you like this chapter as much as I do !

thank you everyone for reading and sharing what I write. I really really appreciate it!

if you wanna be part of the tag list just leave a comment!

see you on the next chapter :)

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