#this would be Doing Things to me even if I didn't have a blorbo to connect it to but you fucking KNOW I'm on my melliwyk bullshit about it

[calledup-called0ut]

i do think they deserve the right. i would not take it away from them

my analogy there was a bit misleading from how i worded it, i think. it could maybe be described more like people not believing gay marriage isn't real marriage, and saying it's because "marriage is man and woman". similarly, you do not believe that there can be people who have real systems without trauma because systems inherently come from trauma. it's less a rights issue and more a definition issue.

although my original comparison falls apart beyond "definition that person A uses is different than definition person B uses". i don't know a better comparison right now but i'm too brain fogged and thinking about other things i could be doing. procrastination for the win 😁

i don't understand how you would not have full control over an intentional process. please explain if you can

another bad comparison, but it's like intentionally breaking a bone. you can't suddenly magically heal your broken bone, even if you snapped it on purpose. you can intentionally do things to your brain, but when you create an autonomous being that's separate from you, then once they're able to do things outside of your control, you can't... well, can't control them.

if it's just pretending, or labeling separate parts of you, then you're still in control. it's like pretending to break your bone, you can just "fix" it because it never got broke for "real", you just pretended... for whatever reason.

i feel like you actually don't understand what i mean by 'pretend'. i mean it as play. to "intentionally" create a sentient being - is this NOT just imagining an OC?? or your favourite character??

pretending and having an imaginary friend that's still under your control is closer to acting, like in a DND campaign. this is separate from creating an alter. but- and here's the kicker- there ARE those who start out pretending and having an "imaginary friend" that ends up becoming sentient and separate from yourself. continuing below since it's related.

you've never been so obsessed with a character they narrate your life for a year?? i have </3

i'm a system, and i have had that happen. for me, it's a form of introjection, but there are other related concepts in other communities. primarily, the soulbonding community. that's a way of being plural.

you think of a character and they end up becoming sentient in your brain. this can be through a supernatural multiverse belief, or more of an unintentional tulpamancy thing.

if you have thought of a character so much that they start commenting on your life, as in, outside of the stories and fanfiction? that might be a system or plural thing. if blorbo from your shows is showing preference for a food you eat and influences you into eating that food more? as if there's a separate "person" in your head? that's one form of plurality, and if they didn't appear because of trauma, then that's an endogenic form of plurality!

i don't understand how this would be different than non-stressgenic systemhood

if they're expressing opinions, likes and dislikes, personality traits, etc, especially if they deviate from your headcanons (say, i think that blorbo's favorite color is blue, but the blorbo in my head insists it's more an emerald green or even yellow), that's probably a form of endogenic systemhood/plurality.

i don't really know what it means to believe. i have doubt, it's in my heart,

do you think it makes logical sense that a thing can happen? does it make sense according to your knowledge? if you think something makes logical sense and has facts backing it up, then you believe it. if you have doubt, that means you do not (at least, not fully) believe it.

for me, i do believe that endogenic systems exist. there's many cases of those with "others" in their head, some from stress and trauma, some from religious and spiritual belief, some who chose to create the others, and some who are just like that for other reasons or no known reasons.

to me, the concept of "self" and "other" is already so blurred and messy, and knowing that we don't know what causes consciousness fully (nor understand why we have a personal identity in the first place), it's not illogical to believe that some people experience multiple selves. i believe that they can be very separate as "people" (as separate as people sharing a body can be), but that is because my definition of self more relies on the idea of an identity, the ability to label and explain ones identity.

like, "i'm joe smith, i have had x y and z experiences, i am 20 years old, i consider myself to be a man, i like sports and machinery, and my favorite color is ochre". that's a "self". we also have concepts of other people's "selves", and oftentimes emulate them in our brain when we predict and expect certain responses. there's also dream people who have autonomy beyond you controlling the dream, which shows that our brain can emulate other "people".

with all of that, and the knowledge that DID and systemhood/plurality exists in the first place, leads me to go "maybe there are others who might be using a part of the brain that makes people have more "selves" than others." to me, it would be more illogical to have it be exclusive to trauma. since most other symptoms of disorders can happen in "normal", non disordered people. why would plurality be suddenly any different?

there's also exclusions in the DSM and ICD for non-disordered plural-like experiences, especially in relation to spiritual beliefs and just generally beliefs of plurality that are not causing significant distress or memory issues. i don't think they'd add that if they thought the experience was ONLY possible through trauma. i think there's a spectrum of similar experiences.

secondly, it's important we don't find ourselves appropriating labels and changing their meanings. systemhood does originate from dissociative disorders, and we should NOT take that away.

this is also kinda confusing to me, partially because "appropriating" is kinda a silly phrase here. if someone is experiencing the trait of having multiple selves/parts/people in a brain, what other words do we have? we have "multiple", which is imo even MORE connected to said disorders (since DID was originally considered MPD), and "plural", which is encompassing of any sort of experience similar to systemhood or having multiple "selves"

also, as a system and someone who's talked to many systems, the "who deserves to use this word" kind of conversation is mostly based on what you count as the real experience, versus "fakery". anti endos like to see it as exclusive to CDDs because they believe that's the only way you can experience that experience. pro endos often believe that it's more common and happens outside of CDDs, and use the term for many kinds of plurality/systemhood/multiplicity.

i don't particularly care if someone uses system or plural or multiple or polymind or whatever. because i believe it's all the same experience, at least on some level in the brain. i made a post on another blog about this (grouping a lot of groups of people together) but i'm unfortunately not a scientist and i can't actually see if my hypothesis is true, but i also think that identity, the "self" and "other", can be affected in more ways than just trauma. and that's where these overlapping experiences come into play.

my eyes hurt i've written a lot why must tumblr's default theme be so high contrast. there are lines in my vision now

(also, for real, check out soulbonding. blorbo talking in your brain is like. definitely a plural thing and could potentially fall under soulbonding, if not plurality/systemhood or potential unintentional tulpamancy/willomancy/whatever)

block syscourse-block-list, they're an anti endo masking as a pro-endo who's "anti-willo"

[sysig]

You say “Jump” I say “Forget it” (Patreon)

[icharchivist]

hey remember when i left those tags on that post?

i still don’t want to talk about what the work of fiction is but i legit just got reminded today that while it’s been like over 15 years that i did want to check this thing, the character that “caught my interest like 7 years ago” actually caught my interest 12 years ago. As in, there was a specific moment in time when i wanted to get into it because i learnt about the character in question.

i’ve been in hysterics for the past ten minutes because i’m realizing it’s been over a decade that once in a while i had humored starting this thing, and that while it definitely started out of another place, it’s been 12 years that steadily it was because this character was standing out to me enough that i wanted to get into it, but then forgot all about it, and now i’m out there actually getting into it after a *dream that came out of nowhere about this chara popping up while i haven’t thought of them in years* and i’m just. 

bestfriendo is making fun of me because “this is the most slowburn in all of history of fav characters” and i’m screaming into my hands, imagine considering getting into something for OVER A DECADE while constantly one character keeps standing out for you and eventually you just get a dream out of nowhere of this chara like a sudden “hey. I’ve been sending you messages about it for the past decade why the fuck are you leaving me on read” and now you’re not only forced to pay attention but also forced to realize YOU COULD HAVE STARTED ALL OF THAT OVER TEN YEARS AGO i’m feeling so unwell.

[zeropro]

Hi, what are your thoughts on Megatron? Most Starscream fans don't have very positive ones about him lol, but everyone is different and I would like to know that you think

I like Megatron okay, he doesnt bother me but im not like jumping up and down for megatron content yknow? but I get not liking Megatron as a Starscream fan. It's just, you can't deny how intrinsically the two characters are tied together. Really can't have Starscream without Megatron, which is unfortunate for someone like me who does not like drawing Megatron lol!

Maybe the reason most Starscream fans dont like Megatron is because of their abusive relationship? And let's be clear, due to the power imbalance, I do interpret it as an abusive relationship. Despite how much we like to joke that Starscream deserves the punishment he gets (I'm not entirely sure how attempted murder/political assassination attempts factor into an abuse allegory) no one ACTUALLY deserves to be abused. The fact that Starscream is low key also evil and has done evil things is a separate issue from Megatron's abuse of him, we can hold him accountable for the one while also having sympathy because of the other. For me personally tho? Megatron abusing Starscream doesnt make me dislike the character at all, it's honestly the main draw of the dynamic for me. Maybe I just like to see my blorbos suffer…

The G1 Cartoon Megatron is probably the most fun, and I think this dynamic is the most on the level in terms of Starscream dishing back as much as Megatron gives him. They're all just bullies on the playground, their toxic back and forths feel a lot more slap stick and silly than actual abuse. What makes it work I think is that Megatron is not as crazy powerful as he is in later continuities, and Starscream responds to the abuse like a cartoon villain, immediately bouncing back and plotting his revenge, so it's funny rather than upsetting! I also find it hilarious how Megatron is weirdly nice to all the other Decepticons who aren't Starscream lmao? G1 Cartoon Megatron is a 10/10 for me.

If G1 cartoon's Megatron and Starscream are more on an even playing field, Prime Megatron is like the opposite of that. Prime Megatron is so impossibly powerful it almost feels like no one has a chance against him in a fight, and Prime Starscream is so scrunkly and small it's almost laughable. I think I feel the most pity for Prime Starscream when he gets beat up by Megatron, but he almost always makes up for it by being possibly the most evil of the Starscreams. I like how in the third season, he genuinely seems happy to finally dedicate himself fully to Megatron, but you just know how much he'd been beaten down and broken over and over again to even get to that point. Good for him for trying to get revenge in the sequel series. As for Megatron himself, I think more often than not when I am reading fics I see Prime Megatron in my head, and it's his voice I hear. What can I say, it was the first Transformers show I watched haha. Do I love how his redemption arc was handled? Not particularly, it sorta came out of nowhere, felt really rushed, and he just goes away anyway so we don't even get anything out of it. I like redemption arcs in general, but I don't necessarily think this particular Megatron needed one.

To be perfectly honest, I didn't think the 2005 IDW Megatron deserved one either, only because when it comes to over powered, unstoppable, irredeemably evil Megatrons, this one ranked right up there if we take into consideration everything he did before Dark Cybertron. His redemption does kinda come out of nowhere. But like, idk mang! It's also really fun? Like, Bumblebee carrying him around cuz his pants got blown off is hilarious! Him actually upset at Bumblebee's death and then taking Bumblebee's Autobot badge and putting it on over his own was sweet! Him dealing with the crazy crew of the Lost Light is a lot of fun! And him actually having to confronting and deal with what he's done (and other characters dealing with him dealing with it) is a lot more interesting than just him dying. idk. The comics have been around for years by that point, and passed through the hands of many writers, so if a little handwaving and a little contrivance and a little suspension of disbelief is what is required for us to have an honestly pretty fun take on Megatron, I think I'm okay with that.

I do have one complaint tho, mostly based on content I haven't read yet so take it with a grain of salt. I have been told that the adjacent series to the Lost Light Megatron stuff covers Starscream's side of the story and that it does actually address his abuse at the hands of Megatron. My problem is that apparently (and again I haven't read that far yet so this is just hearsay, but apparently) the writers on the Lost Light Megatron stuff didn't get the memo so while Megatron feels bad for and is working at redemption for all the evil war stuff he did to everyone, the one thing he doesnt regret is apparently his treatment of Starscream? Haha, like come on! on the one hand it's really disappointing to me because id like the catharsis of Megatron’s remorse, but...on the other hand, I guess it's kinda true to life actually. Your abusers are people, and they can change and grow and become better, but it doesnt mean they will ever become better for you. It doesnt mean they will ever apologize or even feel bad for what they did. Maybe theres something to be said about having to move on and heal without that. I guess whether this is a complaint I maintain will depend on how its handled.

I get that some people don't think Megatron should ever get a redemption arch, because he's an abuser, a monster, a tyrant, and an evil warlord, and it's completely fair for your stance to be that he should just be killed and that would be justice. I personally really like continuities that treat him more like just some guy. I think Starscream put it best in 2005 IDW during Megatron's trial when he said Megatron wasn't some political genius or the most gifted strategist. He wasn't even the most evil man. In IDW, Megatron started out as a social advocate from the lower class, and despite the problematic narrative of "the bad guy had a point and just did advocacy wrong/went too far," I think the idea that Megatron kinda got swept up by his own hype and was used by people and powers more devious than he is a compelling one.

Starscream is Starscream, so who knows how much of what he says is true and how much is him lying, but this idea just rings true to me. It humanizes him. If handled well, I'm honestly not opposed to stories redeeming Megatron. I'm also not opposed to stories treating him like the devil and just killing him lol. I love a character that can do both!

Uh uh, what else. Earthspark Megatron is nice, I like him. There's...a bit of cognitive dissonance in trying to reconcile the things he chastises Optimus Prime for and the idea that he still was a ruthless warlord at one point, both of which continue to be left unexplored. Transformers One Megatron is neat, I was worried going in how they would handle the switch from Orion Pax's brother to lets start a 4-6 million year war, but like, I like the way he actually was super okay with accepting his lot in life. Like obviously he didnt like it but he didnt see a point in fighting it, and that adamant complacency as a coping mechanism is what lead to his feelings of rage and betrayal by the end. Also I think its hilarious how much younger he is from all the other Decepticon high command, especially Starscream XD.

I don't think I've read or watched anything else with Megatron in it. Man, I wrote a lot. At the end of the day, Megatron is a good character, I like the role he plays in Transformers, I'm not like actually that interested in him on his own but more what he brings to the table when considering Starscream's character. You can't have one without the other! Do I ship them? No, not really, no more than any other ship. But I'll still read Megastar stuff cuz sometimes you just want to watch two people be toxic and make it hurt so good. I'll always prefer Trine stuff anyway ha! Have fun out there!

[mariuspompom]

I feel like I understand people's blorbofication of Javert because I get why someone would really cling onto a complex (male) antagonist with a traumatic past whose entire life is a lie and who kills himself when he reaches that final moment of realization. It is absolutely tragic, and it is easy and natural to cling onto that, we've all been there. But you need to understand that two things are in motion here: the first one is Javert's individual tragedy, and the second one is the broader system he personifies. He's a symbol. His primary function in the narrative is to personify the hateful, bigoted, cruel, inhumane legal system that intervenes after the fact and crushes all those that society has already put down. He, the incarnation of that bourgeois legal system, delivers the final blow. He finishes off what society started, and he does it with joy. When we say that he killed Fantine, it's not even about Javert the individual per se. It's about the entire system he represents. That system killed Fantine and Javert is its flesh and bones. Fantine was a poor girl that was exploited and let down by society in every single way and when she was herself a victim of actual physical violence, the Law, personified by Javert, instead of protecting her treated her like an animal, dehumanized her, humiliated her. The Law was scandalized that a woman like her dared attack the bourgeoisie. The Law was horrified that such a disgusting creature got medical care because she should just drop dead on her street. The Law rejoiced in tearing down her sole protector. The Law prevented her from getting her child back from the con artists that have been stealing her for years because the Law doesn't care about the crimes committed against marginalized people. That's not its function. Its function is to use its discretionary authority in order to dehumanize and punish people that ended up on the wrong side of the street.

So when you come at me with nonsense that Javert "didn't tEchNIcALLy kill Fatnine", "he was just rude", "he was just bitchy", "he just stole her final happy moments", respectfully, you don't know what you're talking about. Javert absolutely killed Fantine. He's not the only one who did but he eagerly and enthusiastically precipitated her execution, and that is the entire point Hugo is trying to make. Your arguments against it are nothing but a mere technicality that stems from the fact that the individual's actions technically do not qualify as manslaughter. It's as if we literally had an individual at court and we were thinking of whether or not to condemn him for manslaughter. It's not about that. It's not about your blorbo and his sadness. Your blorbo has a whole other function in the narrative. You have completely missed the mark of the entire book and you have let your personal emotional attachment for a character prevail over Hugo's main argument about the structural punitive violence that literally kills people. Javert being the product and the embodiment of an entire system that exceeds his individuality does not mean that, as a police officer, he's not responsible for his actions or their consequences. On the contrary, he's precisely entirely responsible for the structural violence committed against Fantine, that's what "embodiment" actually means, that's what we mean when we say that he personifies that system. Absolving Javert of his crimes goes directly against the themes of the book, because while systems operate above individuals by definition, they need those individuals to function. The system needs Javerts. Javerts are everywhere around us, yes even today and it is important to hold them accountable for their crimes. I can't believe I have to explain this tbh.

[elexuscal]

the longer i stay in fandom, the longer i think a huge amount of bad takes and discourse come from an... abundance of identifying with a character

to be clear, i don't think it's bad to identify with a character. far from it! i think that's part of what makes fiction so powerful.

and it's only logical people often attach to a blorbo because they're just like me, for real. a person will see some element of themselves-- their race, their gender, their sexuality, their hobbies, their family life, their specific flavour of neurodivergence-- and something just resonates. it gives them a way to explore and name this important part of themselves, a part they maybe didn't even know existed before it.

and everything is well and good until some split between them and the character shows up

because of course, no character, except an explicit self-insert written by yourself, will ever be a perfect 1:1 for your own experiences. so sooner or later-- maybe in canon, maybe in a fanwork-- your blorbo diverges from your lived experience in a huge way.

I think this is why shipping culture in particular gets so toxic. While it is by no means the only way to indulge with shipping, a significant portion is 'if i was in that character's shoes, i would choose X'. the fight becomes for your own self-identity.

but this gets expanded in other ways. a character who is revealed to be black when the majority of the fandom had just assumed they were white. or revealed to be queer, or maybe the 'wrong' flavour of queer. or fuck, even some more innocuous part of their backstory, one that's nonetheless so meaningful for SOMEONE, but now it feels like the story is saying, fuck you, we're doing something else

i don't know. i just feel acknowledging this perceived-attack-on-identity helps me understand why people react it what seems to be such outsized way to canon and fanworks alike.

at the same time, i think it's a really important thing to check in yourself.

it's nice, to see a character who you identify with. who resonates with for being like you. but it's also nice to acknowledge and appreciate the way characters are not like you at All. how great it is to get insight into this totally different lived experience. and to muse on how wonderful that recognition might be for someone who does have that background.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

what people think pro ship means: dangerous people who want to harm children in real life and/or think taboo subjects in real life are justified

what pro ship actually is about: the belief that people are allowed to enjoy fictional thing however they want, as long as it's fictional and no one in real life gets harmed or harassed in any way, and as long as they tag their trigger warnings properly.

most pro ship folks I've come across are just "hey, you like this fucked up thing that is fictional? okay, cool. you do you, man. I myself don't even like this thing that you like, but hey, it's not real. and I trust that you know the difference between fiction and reality, so you do you. if it ever gets too much for me, I will just block or mute you and move on with my life, but that doesn't mean I think you're a horrible person in real life because of the fictional thing you like, it just means I'd rather not see or engage with this thing that can make me uncomfortable. I still want you to have fun doing what you love, and I still think you're cool as fuck. love and respect, dude"

meanwhile most anti ship I've seen are like "omg you like this fictional thing where fictional children are harmed??! Red Flag Red Flag. put this gross piece of shit behind bars immediately!!!"

and I'm just ????? I don't normally engage in fandom wars, but I think, as long as you don't harass anyone in real life and as long as no one in real life is in danger or is harmed, how you enjoy fictional things is none of my business. and I'm not gonna make any "call out post" where I encourage my followers to harass you because you like fucked up fictional things that I personally don't like or believe is wrong either.

I mean, from personal experience, I was exposed against my will to thing I didn't want to see from anti's screenshot of fanart or fanfic where they encourage their followers to harass this person whose fanart or fanfic, that was screenshot and spread by them, was originally tagged properly with all the trigger warnings so that people who didn't want to see it wouldn't get exposed to it. until anti screenshot it and flaunted it around in the name of being morally superior while also, at the same time, advocated for the witch hunt against someone who just wanted to mind their own business. so... the irony. lol

fandoms used to be more peaceful before Fandom Police starts their witch hunting, but it's a good thing we can just block these people and keep on enjoying our blorbos however we want to enjoy them.

and I'll always encourage every artist to write whatever they want, draw whatever they want. don't let people who think they're "morally superior" tell you you can't make art this way or that way. my best advice would be to block and ignore and keep on creating what you want. they may be loud, but at the end of the day they're just noises and they're not worth your attention x

[itsybitsybatsyspider]

I rewatched the Dragon Prince recently since season 6 is coming out next month (WOOOOOO) so naturally i had to put my most recent blorbos in a The Dragon Prince Au

second part :)

Dragon Prince au masterpost

(drawing notes under the cut if you wanna hear my rambling about the designs!)

Jack

so Jack is a Skywing elf mage-in-training because the power set of Sky mages seems to match Jack's powers the closest. They create gusts of wind, storms, can fly, breathe ice breaths, and frost touches. It was a tough choice between that or a Moonshadow elf, what with the whole invisibility thing, but i just can't imagine Jack not being able to fly :/

And even though most Skywing elves dont have wings, i gave him the wings because vibes and because i can

i did add some moon opal charms to his staff though, so he can do some small moon spells

Toothless

i wanted to adjust some of the details to Toothless's design because i didn't want it to be a 1-to-1 of his design in HTTYD. I noticed the dragons in Xadia all have snouts, horns, and muscled forelegs, and i tried to incorporate some of that to Toothless. With a narrower head and longer legs and more hand like claws.

I added more prominent scales, nose plates (like the storm dragons in TDP) and tried to add more horns to spots on his legs and wings.

I also made Toothless a lot bigger than he is in the HTTYD universe because those Xadian dragons?? Excuse me?? Even a common one is still pretty huge!

There's also a dragon that exists in the Dragon Prince universe called a Midnight Dragon, and it's connected to the Moon Arcanum! They're said to have pitch black scales and are sensitive to light, so i thought it was fitting for Toothless. There weren't any pictures of the dragon tho so i kinda just made the design as i went.

Hiccup

i tried using costume designs from both the first two movies, with the vest, the belts, and the pant pattern.

colors took me longer to figure out, because i wanted to have some red (like in RttE) along with the greens and browns. Overall though im happy with how it turned out!

I think Hiccup would be the son of Commander or General Stoic in the Katolis army some years before or during the events of The Dragon Prince/Mystery of Aaravos.

These designs are for early in the story, before Hiccup loses his leg and when he meets Toothless for the first time. Definitely thinking that him and his village are known for their handling of dragons and elves in the region and then Hiccup shoots Toothless down just like in the movie. But as they become friends, Jack finds them and misunderstands the situation and thinks Hiccup is going to kill Toothless.

So that'll be fun >:)

[corrupted-ciphers]

Thought this would be a fun project to work on! I <3 weird women. My thoughts on each of the characters below the cut. Version without names added below the cut as well.

Current Favorite: I love Junebug, she's been my blorbo recently, she's really weird. I love her. As I started this project though, I also started playing ENA Dream BBQ. I've been waiting for it for four years now, and damn was it worth the wait. It's a surreal game about ENA's adventures to find the b̷̸̸̡̧͇̜͎͙͙̥̥͚̫̪̩̩̏͑ͩ̓̇ͪ̋̑ͧ̂̃͊͋͘͝͡͝ͅ_̗̖͕͉̻ͯ̍̒ͤ̊́a̢͉̺̫̙̳͓̣̗͔̙̻̔͑̿͛͛̀̽͒̂̒ţ̡̧̼͙̰̥̳̹̻̍ͫ͋̌̏ͮͣ́̔ͯ͊̇ͤͪ͐̿̉ͫͨͧḩ̷̧̡̛̞̩̹͙̱͍̯͇͉̪̫̹̭͙̭͉͚ͬͯ̄̄͗ͯ̅̐̀́ͯ̈́͂̇͆̾͂͘͘͢͠r̾̆͢_̽̆ơ̶̸̡̡̛̠̥͓͔̪̲̥̥̱͙̲̲̫̖̽̊̎̎͒͊̅̔͐̄̈́̓̈́͊ͩ̂̋͘ͅȍ̶̢̙͕͍̰͓̖͉̼ͯ͆ͮͩ̓ͭͭ͑̿́́͢͝͠m̵̧̛̗͉͔̯̦͙̟̼̲̜̫̱͊͋̀̊͊ͯͤͬ͆ͭ̽̃̄̔̋̾͞. Chapter 1 is out now and free to play on Steam right now, and I highly recommend it! Anyway, Junebug is my girl, I love her.

Comfort: Okay, I know the reception ch 4 of Poppy Playtime has been receiving. Do I think chapter 4 is scary? No. Do I think it's good? Also no. Do I think it's hilarious? Hell yes I do. We got several game breaking bugs that were honestly rather amusing, and also the devs letting you move around in Doey's monologues is honestly the funniest decision they made. You can clip into him and let him just eat your head mid talk. He'll also fling you if you stand on his limbs while he talks, it's great. We nearly got killed by him flinging us under the pipe in that one section where he gets froze. Having said all that bad stuff, I love Doey. Okay, there's a lot going on in my life right now, and he came along in the middle of that. As the older sister to three little brothers, I relate to Doey in multiple ways. He is me, he is my brothers, and I just want to give him a big hug himself. I too am trying desperately to pick up the pieces of our home life collapsing around us, while trying to keep my little brothers happy and managing my own angry outbursts. It was a (in my opinion) jankily written scene, but the bit where Doey was torn up over Safe Haven getting destroyed really got to me. It was probably tied to the emotional state I was in when I played the chapter, but damn, I get it man. I too failed to protect those around me from what I knew was inevitable but selfishly pushed to the back of my mind. Damn, I really was made to hurt things and fuck up too bud. I get it. And in a lore perspective, Doey is three little boys mashed together. I have three little brothers, need I say more about that? This character has consumed my life, and I just want to give him a hug. Although honestly his in-game model is a little oily looking tbh. Also Michael Kovach knocked it out of the park with his performance here. Also also, fuck you devs for making us squish/kill Doey in the end. If he's actually dead I'm gonna be so mad at you guys.

By Design: Look man, I like women. I like murderous women. I mean, when I first saw the original Alice, I was still a child and wasn't pan yet, but like, she likely contributed. hnnnrg, girls.

By Plot: Unlike Doey who brings me comfort when I relate to him and kicks in my material instincts towards anyone even remotely younger than me, Jupe's relation to me does not bring me comfort. Instead my connection to Jupe is more uneasy. Ricky and I both express our traumas in similar ways. That is to say monetize them and put them on display for all the entitled voyuers out there on the internet for attention. Now, I'm obviously not someone who was a victim of a chimp attack, but there's that familiar death of childhood there. I've grown up with an abusive father, which I didn't realize the extent of until this divorce is going through. And guess what my most prominent stories feature? yeah. I'm also the type of person to build a shrine to my trauma like him. While Ricky's is obviously a little more extreme, I still have my hospital bracelet from my appendectomy. That is not a normal response. I wear my first dog's tag on a chain, and when it's not worn it's next to that hospital band. Most of my stories involve my internal or external traumas in some way, just like Jupe capitalized on the exploitive movies and shows he was roped into as a child. I'm white, but I'm a woman and I'm queer. I get being the token item. Reduced to stereotypes. Forced to uphold other stereotypes in a never ending cycle of wanting to be on top, of vainly hoping that others will finally accept you into their group. But they won't. Jupe's storyline makes me viscerally uncomfortable, but my favorite part is the end. Just before Jean Jacket eats him, we see his lips twist into a smile. Faint, but there. Because finally, for the first time in his life, Ricky isn't defined by what groups he's part of, he's not vying for anyone's attention, he's not this special chosen one because he survived all those years ago, he's just like everyone else. He's merely food for that creature. And that is a freeing feeling. Finally, something has accepted him the way he is, with no fighting, no tense acceptance into a world that could throw you away at any time, he's finally safe. And for that, I think he loves Jean Jacket. Because I know, there's parts of me that wish the same. A release from the responsibility, and freakish nature of myself since I'm so different than those around me. If Doey is my comfort character, Ricky "Jupe" Park is my discomfort character. (In a good way)

Guilty Favorite: Look man, she's weird as fuck. She also saved my nightmare mode run. Again, I love weird women. Choo Choo Charles is great because it knows its lane and sticks to it. It knows it's a goofy ass train spider game, and it sure does deliver on that premise. Pickle Lady is so bizarre, I love her. I can't help but love her. Is she a good character? No. Do I like her anyway? Yeah.

All Time Favorite: DO I even need to say much about this guy? It's FNAF. It's toilet Bonnie. It's the boy. I love him. My favorite animatronic since I was like 12. Hell yeah dude, let's keep it up.

[chessboredom]

Can we please get a rant on PV's characterization ? Asking both to hear your thoughts and to see if I need to reevaluate my own idea of it because accidentally mischaracterizing favourite characters is my biggest fear ":)

So I'm having the thing where "opening your favorite character's tag only to see mischaracterizations" That makes me go "Oh I can't wait to look at fanart of my blorbos in tumblr dot com!" only to remember that people play the English version(scum of the earth) and not the Korean version(literal Cookie Run Bible to me) and then feel like I directly get shotgunned at the face and I never open the tags ever again.

This is Not to say that "Your characterization is wrong!!" or me trying to discourage anyone. It's just not for me, das all. Go do whatever you want forever.

ANYWAYYYY

(I'm still continuin this LMAO)(NOT DONE YET UUGGHHHHHHH)(still isn't done but I'll just make a new post lol)

This also extends to Shadow Milk characterization because I cannot characterize one without the other as a compliment. (I have the Chronic Narrative Foil illness from being a dirkjohn shipper. That god forsaken ship rewires your brain. I've made people like them and I clearly see the impact.)

PV is not nice, he is kind. His actions take effort with no exchange. He could impact a group of people one day, they love him, but they disappear. This is the part where he lies. PV is self-sacrificial, and he says anything that would benefit his subjects happiness over himself. It's important for him that they be happy for their whole life because they are all fleeting but he isn't. He is immortal.

(This is because I see people draw him hugging Smilk, which is something Smilk would HATE SO MUCH.)

He also changed from a patriarchic kingdom into a democratic kingdom.

And he isn't above violence, he just chooses to not participate in it until he didn't have a choice when they were fighting against Dark Enchantress. He protected his friends then stepped forward to attack her with everything he's got, and it's DARK MOON MAGIC. NO SOUL JAM. (I should mention that he USED TO be in the Middle position. This is a Smilk parallel.) Then gets SUCKED into a singularity she made which EXPLODED EVERYTHING AROUND THE KINGDOM TURNING IT INTO A BARREN WASTELAND, still manages to trap her in the Moonstone. He even enclosed the Vanilla Kingdom IN A TIME STASIS and IT FLOATS IN THE SKY. <-ALSO MADE WITH DARK MOON MAGIC, which is similar to SMILK'S DIMENSION but Smilk's has the future of the past and the present coexist.

(I correct my past assumptions about Healer Cookie now too.)

This so comes with the price of losing his memories, but his miraculous healing stayed. THIS was another parallel to him becoming "Truthless Recluse" (The Hermit of Truth in Korean) when Dark Enchantress said that he was "falling deeper and deeper into the abyss." PV's self was hidden in the dark side of the moon with the Light of Truth who was always calling out to him, until Gingerbrave came and changed everything, and then it made the voice louder. That's why his eyes were open majority of the time when he was Healer Cookie nearing the end of the Timeless Kingdom adventure, because he wasn't *full* Pure Vanilla yet. (PLURALITY MENTION!!) Healer Cookie is another personality who is taking place for Pure Vanilla's arrival. Until PV finally comes back, then reuniting once more with Healer Cookie, who is also himself.

Then he just sends Gingerbrave and Friends™️ into a quest to send letters to the other Ancients' kingdoms because he had to stay in the Vanilla kingdom, and the possible survivor's guilt he holds in that Dark Flour War and also to avoid the shock of having to meet them in person because you know he's understanding the situations they're possibly in since it's been decades since they met.

One Ancient who deeply cares for him as a friend is Hollyberry Cookie. Friendship gang's first meeting with Hollyberry Cookie was her PRETENDING to be a different cookie because of the CRUSHING GUILT she had of not being able to protect her friend that she abandoned her kingdom and her role as queen(sloth moment). And in one of PV's kingdom interactions with her is HB asking if he ate. 😭(I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP SO MCUH)

(I WILL STILL NEED TO WATCH BEAST YEAST EP 1 - 2 AGAIN TO ADD TO THIS I SWAER. TO GO.D)

Skip to EP 7 - 8....

PV went to the Spire after they just found some totally (not) legit info about "Beast Binding Ritual," he met Fortune Teller Cookie, who was also himself(I cannot read tarot card. Might do that later), and then he was separated from the Friendship Gang because Smilk couldn't care less about them. Smilk wants Pv to focus on HIM. Main Character of the show. Not PV, the half-penny(fool or idiot). He literally puts himself into PV's memories, and then proceeds to tell PV that "I've been with you your WHOLE LIFE." "You need me." Okay projecting bitch. Shut up. That's bullshit.

PV doesn't need Smilk. PV has lived with no Smilk. It's the other way around. Smilk NEEDS PV. He's obsessed with him. Very obsessed that he is PROJECTING. In En he called PV his "other-half," but in Kr he called Pv his "lesser half." He is still in control. He does NOT want to see others authority over him, despite their theme of King and Jester.

Historically is that jesters where actually an incredibly valued part of royal family’s almost treated like a noble and were the closest to the king outside of his family. They where just silly goofy guys that they kept around. Jesters where so respected they would stand next to kings and help them make important decisions. A lot of jesters WERE scholars. They had to be diplomats in place of their kings.

At the time of Tr!PV, he wanted to push him to the BRINK OF BREAK DOWN. (Take a look at this freaky shit here.) But good thing Friendship Gang was there making him remember who he is, or else he would've actually became a Cookie of Lies, and remembers that his role and purpose, just like Healer Cookie, was to ACT like a different person until PV wakes up and becomes one again. This is a parallel to how Smilk has different identities in different times and ages, which are also himself.

Tr!PV's WORDS(in Korean) are so perfect, that he even manage to fool Smilk himself through making him think that HE has the upper hand. He even mentions it later when he was awakened. (I have to look for that part again.)

With his new awakened form making Smilk crash out for lying and being a traitor, and then he literally beats the shit out of Smilk 2-3 consecutive times because he's a stubborn child who doesn't want to. (Seeing fanart of PV hugging Smilk is so ??? to me. Smilk would rather DIE.)

DON'T GET ME STARTED WITH THIS. ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS DO NOT SHOW THIS LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING IN HIS WORDS.

Smilk wanted to end it all!!! He doesn't need PV. He doesn't need the Soul Jam. HE WANTS TO DESTROY IT ALL. (Goofy ahh tantrum.)

Now the part about Shadow Milk and touching, and being "touch-starved." But people seem to forget he is a CONTROL FREAK. He's gonna have some tantrum if the narrative isn't in his control. Yes, he would love the sense of touching PV, as long as he leads. He NEEDS to be in control. He NEEDS to be in the spot light or else he'll be weak and he doesn't want to be seen weak. Like, he's already accustomed to being starved of touch. And receiving it makes him feel sick. >> I answered an ask here.

And about ShadowVanilla; I keep seeing the joke "friendzone" and then seeing Smilk be disappointed which is... something... Like... The kind "relationship" Smilk made for them wasn't getting married, (but they are Metaphorically as Narrative Foils) it was FORCED through TORTURE because THAT'S ALL HE KNEW HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP. He wanted to share a soul with PV because it was his fear of being alone that he rather drown himself than face that Truth, and that was the ONLY TIME Smilk made himself vulnerable. Do you think he had a choice when the Witches created him with the other Virtues? They immediately had sentience with no young adult stage to meet naturally like how the Ancients slowly melded into a friend group, and they had no kingdoms to attend to back then. And the Virtues need to work together while being entrusted with a bunch of cookies, which for them is equivalent to taking care of ants.

And that being said, with the consideration Smilk is a literal cookie god who never felt a touch of another cookie in millennium, being invited into a friendship (with another cookie who he was not baked with in the dawn of time) is the most intimate shit he's going to get. He may Know everything(LITERAL NERD OVER HERE), but he never had Any EXPERIENCE. As slutty as he looks and acts, he is one. VIRGIN. LOSER. (TO ME!!)

To end this rant. Control Freak character weakness: Getting dicked down by some guy with a kind heart(who is unexpectedly freakier than Control Freak).

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

I will forever be a believer of Marcy's home life being horrible and her parents being shitty to her, if not straight up abusive. Not because of the whole moving away thing - those things happen in life and they're not proof of evil. What IS concerning to me, however, is the following:

The crashing sound before she runs away - why include that? Put yourself in the shoes of the writers and ask yourself, what would requiere me to add that to the scene? What do I expect to convey with that? My bet is that indicated some kind of physical confrontation, since Marcy's clumsiness is usually played for laughs and this one... wasn't a funny scene.

Running away and not planning to go back ever and intentionally doubling down on her intention to secure her stay in Amphibia and keep her friends with her. She doesn't even miss her parents 😭 that's not normal kid behavior. She was away for over half a year and she never expressed any desire to go back.

"Found family" being her favorite trope -> Anne and Sasha most likely being her "found family" in her eyes. + Wanting to earn the love and approval of adults so desperately. Girl wanted OUT of that house!

Her desperation to keep Anne and Sasha with her at all cost makes me think she really felt she had no one if she didn't have them. To be forever with them she gave up her home, her future on Earth, her mental health, her emotional needs, her family, her morality, everything. She was happy to be their emotionally neglected third wheel forever because that was somehow better than being with her parents. This is one messed up kid if I've ever seen any.

Idc if people find this interpretation annoying or edgy, I'm a sucker for kid characters surviving abuse (it's MY fandom experience and I DECIDE how I proyect onto my blorbos) and I just feel it enriches her character.

[thethiefandtheairbender]

Had a good chat with my partner about it today that maybe let me put a finger on what's always bugged me about "we're here to fix canon" attitudes being so prevalent in fandom (especially in the past 10ish years) throughout my life. This is not to say there's never a time or place for that (I've written fix its myself, or the occasional meta on how something could be fixed/improved) or that people are wrong to (we're anti fandom policing). It's also not an issue to me on the basis of "I love my blorbo in canon and fandom mischaracterizes them in the name of 'fixing' them" etc as it is just... coming from a fundamentally different perspective for story analysis / interaction than most (not all) people in fandom, I think.

One of the reasons I enjoyed getting my English degree was because I was finally being encouraged to and taught in alignment with what my brain had always be inclined to do: you always assume that there's a reason, and a good reason, for the story to do whatever it's doing. It assumes that the story is already exactly what it is supposed to be as it is supposed to be, and it's up to you to find the reasons Why.

The story was boring, or made you feel uncomfortable/bad, or you couldn't root for a character or relationship? All of that, at least at the beginning, doesn't really Matter. You assume that the story is paced fine, you assume the discomfort was intentional or part of something broader (historical shit that hasn't aged well) or that the dichotomy of "I feel invested or not invested" isn't useful. And in doing so, you replace all that with asking why.

An example I'll use is 1984 by George Orwell. I read that book in high school and I fucking hated it. Normally, I like the protagonist the most in anything I watch/read, but in that book, I loathed both the two leads and were actively rooting for them to be captured and tortured so the book could end faster; it was an actively miserable affair. I don't think that was necessarily the author's intention (certain amount of death of the author is baked in, but for a lot of the texts I was reading, we didn't even know the author or anything substantial about them, i.e. Beowulf) but, more importantly, I don't think any of those things are Flaws or downsides in the text.

Part of this is because 1984 is a dystopian novel (if a romcom book breaks genre convention that badly where you're miserable reading it, yeah, maybe something went wrong, but more on that in a minute) but even then it doesn't really matter on the basis of genre; I'm sure some people read 1984 and felt fascinated/excited while reading.

Rather, the focus becomes: what do I find so unlikeable about the protagonists? Why would they be written that way (on purpose)? What does it say about the society they live in? What does it say about their characterization, social stratification, etc etc? If a character does something that I think is non-sensical, why? Have I missed something? Should I watch retrospectively for clues? Is there another way to engage and to understand? Is what I label as confusion potentially a, or the, Point?

It is only after finding the reasons, and/or finding them unsuitable, that I let my subjective feelings into play. While a story can have great merit on the basis of relatability, relatability or "this aligns with my worldview / expectations / desires / etc." is not the be-all end-all of discerning quality

For example, I'm never going to be a fan of Jane and Rochester (she's 18, he's her 40 year old employer who routinely lies to her) but there are reasons, Good reasons, they get together in Jane Eyre (a book so subjectively boring I struggled through it twice) in response to both when the book was written and with the book's themes / symbols / their characterization. If they didn't end up together, it would be a fundamentally different story; it would not be Jane Eyre. So objectively, it's fine and an understandably massive influence on the western literary canon; subjectively, it's so fucking bad and I'm so glad I never have to read it again. But if I stopped there with my lack of interest or dislike of the main romance, I'd be missing out on what the text has to offer as well, the text.

This applies to more modern day stuff as well. I don't like Double Trouble from SheRa as nonbinary representation, and I'm nonbinary myself; however, I can acknowledge that the things I don't like about them were probably simultaneously empowering and exactly what the author (who is also nonbinary) wanted to be per his own experience of gender. Having a "I assume the text is right" mindset means that I can hold space for my own feelings/analysis (i.e. I also did not like Catra's arc, as I think she needed to learn other things / be written under a different lens) while holding space for the text as is (under the canonical lens of Catra learning it's never too late to be saved, I think her arc is conclusive and well done). And these two viewpoints aren't fundamentally opposed, but can coexist as analytical soup, being equally true / having equal value under the subjective (my view) and more 'objective' (the canon text's construction, or what I / the scholarly consensus, if it exists, believes it to be, anyway) at the same time.

Again, none of this is to say that you can't take issue with a canon text, or want to change something. I remember one time I was watching a show where their refusal to explore a romantic relationship between the female lead and her guy best friend was actively making the show worse; I understood their reasonings of wanting to put them with other people to explore their relationships, and wanting to emphasize a male-female friendship at the core of the story, and I still wanted them to put the two together as a Ship instead for various reasons. But that doesn't mean my line of thinking would've been Objectively Better—assuming if they had been paired together would've been executed in the manner I'd enjoy, or that them being paired with other people couldn't have been executed in ways I would've enjoyed more—merely that I likely would've enjoyed the series more per my own subjective preferences.

What I see in fandom sometimes is that people, understandably, aren't approaching at the start from a "the story always has a good reason" as much as they are speed-running from a "this didn't make sense to me or felt bad/off" and maybe examining why (which is supremely useful!) but not going back to examine the other side of the coin as to why the story would do it anyway.

Because sometimes the story—or a part of a story—is still 'bad' to us. It's just worthwhile to look at why it's 'good,' too.

[for-those-who-wait]

it hurts me to ask this, but how would blorbo!Hunter respond to the death of flapjack…

Blorbo Hunter has cat brain where he doesn't really have a complex thought process (there's another ask about this in my inbox that I'll answer once I doodle some more, I'll try to go more in-depth about it then) so I think it would be that situation where one of your pets passes and the other is confused about why their buddy isn't around anymore and why their owner is suddenly very sad

I would really like to make a comic about it but it would take a while and my brain is mush so, taking crack seriously, I think it would happen like this (very limited memory of what happens in the beginning of For the Future):

Blorbo Hunter is probably in somebody's pocket or bag for the whole altercation with Belos in Thanks to Them, so he didn't actually witness anything. Everyone is very torn up about it after they go through the portal, the blorbo is a little confused about why Hunter looks sad and weird, but he's just kind of chilling. Hunter can't really stand to look at the blorbo for a bit (something about anxiety about loss and wanting to distance himself emotionally as a coping mechanism) so he passes him off to Luz and the gang to watch over while he broods in the corner at the Owl House like normal. Blorbo Hunter is just hanging out, he's kind of wondering what's up since I think Flapjack would be as constant a presence for blorbo Hunter as he is for regular Hunter and he's similarly not used to not having that presence nearby. They are friends, they love each other, and he wants to know where his friend is!

I think blorbo Hunter has a little bit of a signal thing going where he'll make little gestures about things he wants (he just learned that Flapjack is more likely to interact with him if he opens his arms like he wants a hug, and he kept doing it). So the gang is familiar by now that when he splays his little arms out, he's referencing Flapjack. And he doesn't actually do that until they're all calming down, slowly trying to fall asleep at the Owl House, and he finally wriggles away to find Hunter (because he follows him absolutely freaking everywhere and he might as well have a natural homing beacon for that boy)

Hunter's not really trying to sleep, he's been Irreparably Traumatized, and blorbo Hunter climbs onto him and splays his arms out like "Where's Flapjack?" since Hunter usually knows where he is, and blorbo Hunter has associated Hunter with Flapjack appearing. Hunter isn't even sure if he should respond to that, because he knows by now that the blorbo just can't really understand the concept of loss like that. Hunter's probably tearing up a bit by now because of all the stress and emotions he's shoving down, and now he's got this innocent little thing looking up at him for guidance that he feels he's incapable of providing because Flapjack, the one thing the blorbo is asking for, is gone in a way that Hunter can't explain and the blorbo can't understand.

Blorbo Hunter, ever the cat, at least recognizes that Hunter's upset. The blorbo climbs up onto his chest, probably lays right up against his chin, and just sits there for the sake of closeness and an attempt at comfort. And for his part, I think Hunter would just grieve a lot about it because Flapjack was probably there to help him process even accepting blorbo Hunter in the first place (I think Flapjack would immediately love the blorbo and would have to spend a long time convincing Hunter to give him a chance as well), and now he's left with the guilt of having initially disliked the blorbo and also killing his friend. Like "I killed Flapjack with the hand that I am currently using to try and comfort this weird clone-cat-creature he was friends with, I'm so incredibly messed up and terrible for this."

This child can fit so much trauma and self-hatred in him holy crap

ANYWAY sorry for the ramble, hopefully that answers the question, thank you for asking it :))

[carrotstache]

{ This post is just me babbling about my blorbo. It is not meant to be a well written analysis, and these are my own interpretations. }

I must say to everyone that I am hopelessly in love with the character Baek Saheon, from hit webnovel 'Even if you fall into a ghost story, you still have to go work' by my goat Baek Deoksoo (aka. DS. Back). He is just so... Saheon's not the typical character I like, I like the kind types. I like the melancholic types that think too much.

Contains spoilers for the novel below.

Saheon? He doesn't think much besides things that relate to his survivability, he's selfish, pretends to be nice and easily shoves someone under the bus to save himself. But I think it's so interesting how Viper, who Baek Saheon 'was' in the Darkness wiki, and how he deviates so much from the other him. Saheon's mask is a goat which is associated with the devil, and he's related to a criminal, yet he's not particularly 'evil in this world. Yes, he has a strong sense of survival and is selfish to reiterate, but he's no different from the average Daydream employee.

I do not think he's uniquely 'evil' as some might think, and let me reiterate, Baek Saheon in this world deviates from the older experienced one. The one that didn't have Kim Soleum to help him. There are a few things that define Viper's (aka. Doksah) character: detachment, arrogance and efficiency.

Let's begin with Weclome to the Abyss Transportation Corporation. Had Soleum not been there to show Saheon the lens case, there were other options besides attacking. Doksah would have been emboldened to continue, thinking that his methods are most effective, especially as he's originally the top recruit of the batch (reminder that in the current world, Saheon ranked second). From the very first darkness, Saheon's character drastically changes as he's shown humility and instilled fear from Soleum's threats. It's really funny how he becomes like a puppy with its tail between its legs, however it drives me insane when I think about the next point.

In And Then There Was One(mountain lodge), we find two important things about Saheon: 1. He inherited the cassette tape from a family member 2. The family member is a wanted criminal by the government. It's important to note the family member told him if he "ever wanted to reverse a dire situation", use the cassette tape. I want to highlight that Saheon's relative lied to him and gave a contaminated item, that suspiciously associates with a darkness that forces one person to be the sole survivor. And a murderer. Personally, I think that this is when the wiki Saheon really became Viper. It's the darkness we know for sure so far, that Viper has killed people. He survived that darkness, so that must mean throwing people under the bus is the most effective course of action, right?

However going back to what the relative said, it meant that the relative knew Saheon would be in perilous situations. Perhaps, even purposely giving it to him and forcing him to kill. Which begs the question, what kind of upbringing and family does Saheon have? While Baek Saheon is the quintessential Daydream employee lacking morals and is goal driven, his initial reaction to a missing eye in the abyss transportation... was to attack someone else's eye. Juxtaposed to more 'normal' people like Go Youngeun and Jang Heo-un, it emphasises how atypical it is for person's first instinct to attack others in order to survive. In chapter 76 Saheon clearly states himself that, "he'd always used fools around him as bait during critical moments." For a reason yet to be explained as I'm writing this, Saheon grew up experiencing situations that force him to build such a heightened awareness for danger... and his family knew. Contrary to his character whose goals and thoughts hinge on his survival, Saheon's surprisingly gullible. He's crafty in pretending to be amicable and innocent, yet instinctively cowers and becomes docile when Soleum pushes him into a corner. Like he's trying to appease someone threatening, someone with authority. It's common for victims of abuse to flinch at those with more power at them, and it usually starts with family (this is just speculation). But we're also led to believe that he trusts them enough to believe that the cassette tape is anitem that can help him, since he didn't want it taken away by the company.

Ok, I've said a lot of things that's mere speculation based on scraps, but let's look at Saheon's relationship with Soleum. In The Dark Shadows(school) noticeably has Saheon attacks Soleum, in spite of that he didn't actually intend to really take Soleum's life. As he assumed Soleum to have a name tag already, the item that guarantees one doesn't actually die. Saheon has so many chances to actually kill Soleum, but he doesn't. I think Saheon's choice to make Soleum not notice him for a while with the fountain pen, elucidates his fear of what might happen after Soleum surprised him by, well, not dying from the fireworks. Saheon's attitude to Soleum is both of terrified submission, yet also... one of reverence in a way. Soleum, from Saheon's perspective, is capable of just about anything.

Contains spoilers for the bureau spy arc:

Even thinking Soleum's capable of becoming a cat. In a strange way, I feel even if Saheon is always on his toes around Soleum, the only thing he kind trusts is Soleum's abilities to deliver. And hear me out when I say, Soleum may or may not be one of the first people who's genuinely kind to him. Possibly, there are parallels between Saheon's relative giving him an item, someone he trusts, and Soleum exchanging items for the low price of gossip. Fortunately for him, Soleum doesn't expect much of Saheon yet still keeps him around. As Saheon's 'milestones' to becoming Viper are thwarted by Soleum, I can't help but think Saheon is developing... real trust with someone who won't take advantage of him. Like, Saheon... telling someone, and that someone being Soleum... to take care? For the first time...?

Anyways, I have a lot more to say on how Soleum views Saheon. And the Saheon being from a cult theory. But that's for another time.

If you've managed to read this far into the post, thank you for sticking around for my word vomit. Whenever I think of Baek Saheon I want to scream and pace around, so apologies if this kept on going around in circles. You deserve a gold star dear reader. This was written merely as a way for me to put down my thoughts on Saheon I've had for a while, somewhere.

Saheon has so many little nuggets of information, and I think about them all the time.

[atropinenightshade]

James X Kyma-- Why I don't ship

Did it have potential? Possibly. I wouldn't have minded it if it was developed since book one and James didn't have as much history with Rafal.

Is it for poor single Rafal who didn't get anyone? Eh, not that either. (Though the lack of closure was admittedly annoying.)

I just felt like I could relate to Kyma about the whole boys thing, and the way James treated her in the beginning was similar to my experiences. (Basically, immature, rude, even physically violent boys. Mostly the former though)

Maybe they would have been better if James slowly outgrew his belief that girls are a waste of time and they became a platonic pair. But honestly, I'm questioning if James even realized the error of his ideas, because to the very end, he had some of the "me and the boys mentality."

And when James was consumed by Rhian's magic in that one part where he physically hurt Kyma-- no. I'm sorry, but that's a big nope for me. I don't care if he was "possessed" or whatever. How can any girl love someone after that?? He was choking her. And when she "saves" him, that also felt off, because it reflects the whole idea that women can save their man from his vices and problems! She just has to love him! Which shouldn't be a message to people, because nobody can save anybody from their vices if they aren't the person themselves. Also, this was after he saved her, so this seems to be this push-pull thing where it's frustrating, and Kyma deserves something happier than that to be honest.

James saw loving a girl as a distraction to his goals, got defensive over Kyma asking a question to me/confronting him, and even gave her what she herself called a "backhanded compliment." Immature boy but he gets the girl in the end. Aladdin was also superficial and immature.

I could tell James respected Rafal-- a guy-- and he sure as hell didn't see him as an obstacle or he being attractive an issue. he invited him to Neverland. But with Kyma? The whole "because you're pretty" was just so... off and the way he kept putting her down for being on the crew was annoying.

So yeah, i dislike the ship because James seemed to be that kind of boy towards her.

(Also, I wonder if Rafal would have done to a girl what he did to James. because if he was willing to do that to a female, that'd look hella pathetic. But I'm sure I would see a bunch of sexist takes, like "she's a whiny bitch being mean to my blorbo" bullshit.)

[the-racoon-over-your-stairs]

agree about the Ivan thing! I think too many people mistaken his physical closeness to Till as emotional closeness. It’s clear that the two left a lot unsaid and while Till felt he could seek comfort (according to the art book) and take his anger out on Ivan/air his grievances (like when he gets jealous that Ivan was playing with Mizi), we mainly see Ivan reciprocate violence or initiate it when it comes to feeling attraction (see: the weird blood licking thing and the non-con kiss). We only see him be honest with Sua and thats not so much as an expression of his emotions but because of the differences in their situations despite having similar approaches to love/similar attitudes. Even with Mizi who Ivan held no grudges against Ivan was still holding himself afar from her to the point that they have very different views of their relationship. People are only willing to explore this in context of romantic feelings but it’s very true for many other aspects of Ivan’s life. I think it’d be interesting if people connected this to how the guardians trust him, I think his character has a lot to speculated on since we aren’t fully aware of the social hierarchy in Anakt Garden

ANON YOU GET IT💔

I absolutely agree on the points you made. I think it also connects to something other people have already pointed out about Till actually looking at Ivan and clearly caring for him and Ivan somehow not noticing, and I personally think it's not so much Ivan not noticing, but more so "dismissing" those things and distancing himself (mentally) when Till shows affection or care.

Another thing that made me get this idea was also how(like you mentioned) Ivan mainly initiates or reciprocates violence when it comes to showing attraction and getting Till's attention. But later we see Ivan showing open care and affection and gentleness when Till isn't conscious. To me, that reads a lot a sort of inner conflict between wanting Till to look at him, wanting to be seen, but also a refusal to let Till truly see Ivan love him. He wants to be seen but he hides, he wants Till to love him but he literally avoids any chances of having Till see his feelings.

This stupid little blorbo keeps everyone and himself at a minimum of five emotional kilometers away.

Personally I love when in fanfics where Ivan and Till get saved, authors write Ivan "hiding" or avoiding Till (and Mizi) to avoid confronting what he did for Till, I feel it is a very realistic depiction of how he would act. Like, surviving wasn't even near part of the plan, and I think part of the reason we get the kiss in doubt 6, Ivan's soft smile and, in general, a sacrifice that screams "I love you" is exactly because Ivan could confess everything and then not have to deal with the consequences of it. Living and having to deal with a Till who knows about his feelings, and having to come to terms with the fact that yes, Till does love him, would be scary af for Ivan and the 8 meters tall wall he built around himself<3.

Ivan confirmed to be Kim "fourth wall" "let me die instead of telling people things" Dokja's child.

You mentioned Ivan's relationship with his guardians and aliens in general and it's something I'd also give a leg and kidney to see more of, including Ivan's life in the slums which I'm CONVINCED is a big reason why Ivan acts the way he does.

We know he was sold off through not very legal channels, and I wouldn't be surprised if he lived in an environment where a lot of other kids came and went very often, getting bought/caught and later being sold to highest bidder, so he probably didn't have any "stable" presence until Unsha bought him and even then certainly not a stable human presence until Anakt Garden. I feel in that situation, connecting with any of the other kids there was probably impossible not only because of the awful situation they were in, but because of literally not having the time to do so.

Okay this wasn't coherent in the slightest but anyway. THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK ANON I WISH YOU A PILLOW COLD ON BOTH SIDES AND KEYS THAT GO IN AT THE FIRST TRY (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)