#this will help me finish chapter 7
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I'm glad you caved XD. Thank you so much! I love him, he looks very good in his red shirt and suspenders. Very very good. Definitely including suspenders in future chapters because yes. Good idea.
I caved and drew Copia from @ramblingoak ‘s ‘The Cardinals Bride.’
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#seriously though thank you#i love cowboy copia and he looks amazing!!!#this will help me finish chapter 7#the cardinal's bride#cowboy copia#cardinal copia fanart#copia fanart#the band ghost fanart
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I give you, child of man, a gift..
Reblogs would help and are much appreciated :)
#I put off finishing this for far too long because of testing and break#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#twst malleus#diasomnia#twisted wonderland x reader#twst yuu#chapter 7 has me in a chokehold send help#chapter 7 spoilers#overblot#malleus overblot#twst fanart#twisted wonderland fanart
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WHY DOES THE HIGH REPUBLIC CONSISTENTLY FEEL LIKE IT'S PUNCHING ME IN THE THROAT WITH SITUATIONS THAT HAVE HYPERSPECIFIC EMOTIONAL SIMILARITIES TO SOMETHING I'M MENTALLY DEALING WITH AT THE TIME
#K8 Rambles about The High Republic#K8 Rambles about Star Wars#i FINALLY finished eye of the storm#and the last chapter with avar reuniting with the jedi gutted me#because i started eye of the storm (the first time) like two/three months after i lost my dog#and everyone's broken grieving “must get through this” was way too close to home#i finished it with avar practically glowing & finding herself again while laying up against my new puppy and i'm sobbing because. yeah. yeah#(happened with lina soh's internal monologue about how the republic is supposed to work together and help each other too)#(i got to that part on jan 7/8 2021 so you can figure out why *that* hit me so hard 😭)#star wars#star wars the high republic#sw thr#sw the high republic#star wars eye of the storm#thr the eye of the storm#the high republic spoilers#avar kriss
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Sneak peek of a Norris outfit from chapter 7 that immediately alienates a florist
#my art#wizard wip#Norris#drawing this weirdly helped me click together all the pieces that need to be in that chapter...#i should take notes tomorrow so when i finish 6 i can get started on 7 ASAP
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Thoroughly enjoyed this book. Sometimes the writing was a little clunky, or the plot dragged in a small handful of chapters but you know what. 5 stars.
Despite the few flaws I couldn't stop reading. I'd go "one more chapter. Okay one more. ...this one's short just one more".
Desperately would love an epilogue of some kind but I can see why it ended the way it did at the same time-just curious how the world goes on from that end.
Loved how there was like a twist, but then SURPRISE a different twist!! Absolutely entertaining.
I'm reading at least 1 book a month for 2025, and this was my first one. Enjoyed the ride 🤙
#don’t let the forest in#my 2025 reads#bookblr#this is just copy pasted from my Goodreads acct which I forgot I had#but I guess I’ll be using it this year#I like that it has a progress bar haha that helped me stay on track this month#I read 70% of this book in one week#and then just read a couple chapters every now and again (most were short)#finished it today!#I so badly want to know like. how does the school react to everything?#Bryce??#andrew’s dad???#the stuff with Thomas’ parents and also his… aunt? was it?#there’s still like 7 months of school left?!#Lana and Chloe??#dooooove !!!#that said. for this book it is a good ending#but also I want more haha
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Hi I really love your BSD fics, especially the reader x Dazai and x Chuuya ones are my fav! <333 Would you want to do a reader x Kunikida one? 🥺
💌 Thank you so much for reading & enjoying my BSD fics!!! I'm still intimidated to write x readers for the fandom but having people send me asks and comments help boost my confidence in that regard!
💌 I do plan on adding more fics to the BSD Isekai Bullshit series but out of the characters I originally planned on adding he wasn't one of them. I love Kunikida but I don't think my Isekai series could do the x reader justice. With his personality, and his ideals list, I don't think reader knowing what happens next adds much in terms of trying to rizz Kunikida.
💌 However if I do later have an idea for it, I'd like to write a Kunikida x reader but sadly I currently do not have any long chapter fics planned for Kunikida. Although my ask box is always open for requests! If people have Kunikida x reader scenarios they'd like to see me write a oneshot for sure I'll give it a go! I might take a hot minute to write but I'll do it.
#my inbox#For the Isekai Bullshit series I plan on adding Fydor and Nikolai once I finish Dazai & Chuuya's storylines#I'm also serious the bsd fandom scares me and x readers already have a weird reputation but I can't help the brainrot#also chapter 7 of Chuuya's is almost ready to post
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I just want to finish this chapter, why can't I finish this chapter?
#maria mania#I know its because of my time of the month and it's been making me cry non-stop but I just want to finish this chapter so I can post 7#and why do I keep having mental breakdowns over my lose of childhood? I fully blame Barbie coinciding with my period#I just want to write about these failing theatre idiots not have existential crisis over the shit hand life has dealt me#someone anyone help
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outgrowing characters is the weirdest thing
#like age I mean. I’m thinking abt check please again it comes back periodically#but like I read this comic the first time when I was what. 15? how the hell was it that long ago??#I was either 14 or 15 bc I can’t remember exactly where I started and the update I’m pretty sure I finished with when I read it would make#me 14 and that’s just. what the hell. that can’t be right#AND that would mean I’ve been with these characters for 7 fucking years now. HOW has it been 4 years since the comic ended#but man like my point is I started off reading this when I didn’t honestly understand what college was and these were adults#I’m now older than dex ever gets in canon. the comic ends when he’s a junior.#having the framework of bitty’s story has been wild as I go through uni honestly. I’ve been matching stuff up as I go and he’s obviously#a fictional character in an idealised story but it’s still a personal story and a reflection on college anyway yknow. i#it’s been really nice to hold it as I go through#but god being a little older than the characters now makes it feel different#especially bc like. my feelings have changed. stuff got better or different or worse but it’s not like how it used to be when I got into it#and first met all these characters and fell in love w the story and the way I look at it has changed#and MAN they’re kids!! I’m rereading my favourite fic (potentially just. favourite fic. full stop. love made visible - likeshipsonthesea)#and I’ve read the first chapter when they’re freshmen and like! that’s such a specific time! you’re a baby still!!#I’m sure I’m gonna come back and feel the same way abt myself rn in a few years#idk! rereading this I just can’t help but map my own experience of college onto it now and it makes it read so differently#I think I’m also just having feelings about being a different person now than I used to be. trying to figure out how I feel abt him#anyway william dex poindexter I love you. this story is going to make me insane and I GOTTA write one of these fics I have knocking around#luke.txt
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[Arcane preference]reacting to their s/o calling them husband/wife for the first time
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I’ve finished the first chapter of the long fic about Universe 7 (Anytime it rains). As soon as my second beta reader gives me the okay, I’ll post it. While I wait, I’ve written the first headcanon (out of three I’m definitely planning to write and post in the next few days) and picked up the drawing of Steb I’d left unfinished. I’m slow, as usual, but English isn’t my first language, and I’m juggling a lot of things at once. Enjoy!
socials: | INPRNT | | Tip Jar | | X | | BlueSky | | Ao3 | poster: | Jayce poster | | Silco poster | |Silco +self insert poster 1| | Steb poster | if you want to read the fluff longfic with vander and his happy family + Silco x reader you can find it here! ↠ Masterlist
Jayce:
-This man is planning to put a ring on your finger as soon as possible, okay? -Between the academy, public appearances, and both theoretical and practical studies, there isn’t a single moment when he’s really in the right mindset to bring up the topic -The worst part is that, deep down, he’s terrified of putting pressure on you -That’s why, the first time he hears you refer to him as “my husband” during a gala with noble families, he almost chokes -He has to gather all his strength not to grab the interlocutor by the shoulders and ask if they also heard you say that word -He’ll try to keep his composure, maybe responding to your remark with, “Yes, exactly. Her husband really did say/do/design that.”
Viktor:
-It’s not a thought he’s ever really entertained; it never crossed his mind -Part of it is that science is his priority, and part of it is that marriage doesn’t seem like something meant for people like him, -The first time you call him “your husband”, that thought suddenly becomes real in his head, and he can’t help but lean against a wall and wait for the other person to leave -“So, I’m your husband now, huh? Mmm… I don’t mind, a bit pretentious, though…” he jokes, making you roll your eyes -Now, more than ever, he has no idea what to do. He’ll give you a bronze ring from a machine he’s building -“Until I can get one worthy of you.”
Ekko:
-Yes -That’s it -The end -Okay, seriously. The idea of being certain that something will last forever is probably his greatest wish -The first time you call him your husband, he doesn’t see it coming -“Wait, you’re married?” -“I was talking about you, Ekko.” -The moment you say it, he points to his chest, you see his lip tremble slightly, and his eyes grow shinier -He won’t stop talking about it for a week, and at least once a day, he’ll ask if you still want to marry him, if you’re sure, if you love him -No rings before S2; the promise is made by drawing something for each other on your masks and clothes -After S2, he still can’t afford a ring, but now that life is more stable, he can start thinking about a more traditional gift, like a piece of jewelry
Vander:
-This man is ravenous for any family role you might offer him—fiancé, father, husband. Anything goes -The first time you call him “husband”, he plays it cool but will seize the first opportunity to return the favor by telling a customer you’re married -As soon as he can, he’ll squeeze your hand, even under the counter -The idea of being married and having a complete family is everything he’s ever wanted -He won’t stop calling you “my beautiful wife/husband” from that moment on.
-You said it first; you can’t take it back. Now you have to get married
Silco (old man):
-This man’s only sin is loving too much, but I’ll save that reflection for another post -Having no ties other than his illegitimate daughter doesn’t make him someone who’s particularly keen on formalities -The first time you call him “your husband” is in front of Sevika, and he slowly turns to look at you, while she slowly turns to look at him -“Did I... miss something?” Sevika asks, but he doesn’t reply, still perplexed, before glancing at her and saying, “I don���t know what you’re talking about.” -He’s relieved but doesn’t show it. He can’t afford to just yet -As soon as he confirms you were serious, your name will be flamboyantly forgotten—he’ll constantly refer to you as “my wife/husband”
Silco (young):
-The man who survives on love -The first time you call him your husband is in front of Vander, and while Vander bursts out laughing, Silco chokes on his drink -“Are you serious?” He’s so happy that his pale iris are completely swallowed by his dilated pupils -He grabs a pen and draws a ring around your finger -To his credit, he works in a mine, so it’s hard to do better than that, but it becomes the goal that keeps him going -Completely focused on family, the future, and anything that sees the two of you together and happy
Steb:
-The first time you call him your husband is at a dinner among enforcer families, and being mute doesn’t stop him from stealing the spotlight -He whips around, blinking slowly with only his third eyelid in a gesture of confusion -When he’s 100% sure he understood what you said, his eyes widen, the small membranes under his eyes flutter madly, and even the barely visible gills near his jaw gasp for a moment -Someone says, “I didn’t know you were married,” and he immediately nods enthusiastically, not giving you time to take it back -Within 48 hours, he’ll have the ring ready
Jinx:
-The first time you call her “your wife”, she freezes -“What did you just call me?” -She’s used to being a little sister, a big sister, a daughter—she’d never thought she could be a wife. Family ties aren’t chosen, but the idea that someone would want her in their life so much they’d marry her feels incredible -“You want to marry me? Really? Why?” -She bursts into tears, and it’ll take at least 24 hours of cuddling in bed to calm her down -After that, she’ll run to her father to announce that she’s now a married woman
Vi:
-She might not be Silco and/or Vander’s blood daughter, but she’s inherited their deep desire for family -From her family’s tragic fate to Vander’s, she’s always seen family as the ultimate aspiration -When you call her “your wife” for the first time, she doesn’t notice right away, but a full minute later, she whirls around to look at you, as if to ask for confirmation -“Say it again.” -“...You need to buy bread?” -“No, all of it.” -“My wife needs to go buy bread.” -“Again.”
-"My... wife?"
-"Again"
Caitlyn:
-Has she thought about it? Yes -Was she planning to act on it? Not exactly -Caitlyn struggles with emotions and feelings, which is why she hesitates and takes her time -But when you first call her “your wife”, her brain completely shuts off—she just stares at you, unable to hear a single word being said -If you or someone else asks her a question, she’ll snap out of it and respond, -“My wife/husband said everything.” Even if it makes no sense as an answer, making you laugh and leaving the other person baffled
Mel:
-Not a single flicker of surprise—the first time you call her “your wife”, she remains completely composed -“So, I’m your wife?” she asks as soon as you’re in private, approaching you like a feline. You can almost hear the purr in her voice -She’s amused but also intrigued by whatever game you’re playing -The idea of marriage is complicated for her—on one hand, it feels like it would limit her freedom to act, while on the other, unresolved family issues seem to devour her at the mere thought of starting a new cycle -She’ll tell you to go ahead, to get married, but she’ll also ask for time -In the meantime, though, she’ll start using the term “husband/wife” with you—she likes the way it rolls off her tongue
Sevika:
-Between the work she does, the environment she lives in, and all the interesting circumstances of her life, marriage has never been on her radar -Not to mention that in Zaun, it’s not exactly a common practice—people just move in together and build families when they can, without much fuss over formalities or bureaucracy -The first time it happens, she’s playing cards with the other goons, and you casually ask if “your wife is winning” -Her first reaction isn’t even hers—it’s the others’. Dustin, the blond goon with the lazy eye, almost starts crying, embarrassing her -Don’t worry, she’ll make you pay for it at home -She won’t ask to formalize anything, but in true Zaunite fashion, she’ll consider you married, plain and simple
#jayce x reader#viktor x reader#ekko x reader#silco x reader#vander x reader#jinx x reader#vi x reader#caitlyn x reader#sevika x reader#mel x reader#jayce talis#viktor arcane#ekko arcane#silco arcane#arcane vander#jinx#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#mel medarda#sevika#arcane x reader#arcane headcanon#arcane 2#arcane writing#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#mel arcane#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#arcane silco
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really wish i had ppl who gave a shit about my stuff 🫶
#not to vent here i just wonder if my stupid shit is good enough for people to like#like idk man i dunno whats true or not anm i cant exactly talk about these forever but i want to bc i got attached#just#i work so hard only to get nothing out of it#and theres inly so few people who appreciate it and im happy they do it for me and i love them for it#but i cant help this damn feeling lol#and yes it IS fc related cuz its just something i really care about making from#no matter how stupid or ridiculous#its still something j really like writingr and drawing for#but nobody really is here to listen#anyway#chase and ava chapter outlines r almost 40 and im nowhere near done LMAO#and if i ever get to finish it before july#ill be happy enough#and also if i hit far cry 7 again….. thatll be saved for next year if im still into it lol#but im writing that too#i wont get anything out of this#nobody’s going to see it#or care#i accepted it but it doesnt mean i dont feel sad about it lmao#but hey at least im sad for this and not like. utterly suicidal#haha :’)
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YITUR. KALLITU.
[ORV] (TW: Implications of SA, Non-consenting Pregnancy, Abuse)
"I was scared. What if I gave birth to a monster? What if my child ate me? One day, suddenly tearing out of my belly and killing me." "I was alone for countless nights, ran away and avoided monsters while feeling worried. What should I do about this child? Should I kill it, let it live, or…" - Chapter 251: Episode 47 – Demon King Selection (5)
BAH, BLASTED LINEART. HOW COME YOU LOOK BETTER, HUH?!
[Yapping Time:]
THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS.
(TW: SA/Rape (analogy), Non-consenting Pregnancy, (Child) Abuse)
Hiiii it's time for me to make a serious character essay again about a silly corporate shit man that canonically birthed a child and became a mum, hellooo /silly
Chapter 1: Episode 1 – Starting the Paid Service (1)
Chapter 2: Episode 1 – Starting the Paid Service (2)
Chapter 6: Episode 2 – Protagonist (1)
Chapter 21: Episode 5 – Shadow Keeper (3)
Han Myungoh is introduced to us as a shit corporate finance department head that's self-absorbed, cowardly, and misogynistic (as he harasses Yoo Sangah because she rejected him.)
Chapter 4: Starting the Paid Service (4)
Although, he does show basic human sympathy and regards when he tries to stop Kim Namwoon from killing a weak grandmother inside the train, showing that his morals are somewhat still aligned with good despite eventually backing away and watching the murder happen alongside everyone else. Not that it makes him any less unlikable.
Chapter 7: Episode 2 – Protagonist (2)
Chapter 9: Episode 2 – Protagonist (4)
He's then shown to continuously do and say things that hinder or annoy the progress of Kim Dokja and the others in the following chapters after this. It's easy to understand why he's plain annoying.
Chapter 21: Episode 5 – Shadow Keeper (3)
Chapter 22: Episode 5 – Shadow Keeper (4)
Then when the Dark Keeper turns Han Myungoh into a "Yitur", he gets to experience one of the biggest fear/struggles of womanhood. Rape (analogy) and non-consenting pregnancy.
Chapter 206: Episode 39 – Unidentified Wall (3)
This even gets confirmed in chapter 206 when Kim Dokja thinks about how "Asmodeus’ curse consumed probability to realize the ‘most terrible thing’ that the target thought of," meaning that pregnancy was the thing that Han Myungoh feared the most after the incident with the Dark Keeper.
Now, not only was he thrust into a situation where his body was doing something he never thought was even possible, he foolishly finishes off the demon and was now being hunted down by the Demon King, Asmodeus.
Chapter 204: Episode 39 – Unidentified Wall (1)
Skipping ahead, Han Myungoh disappears for a bit and is eventually reintroduced back into the story when Kim Dokja finds him in hell, now turned into a demon due to Asmodeus' influence on him. Han Myungoh now turned into a subordinate of the Demon King, all for the sake of his daughter.
Han Dareum is the daughter Han Myungoh birthed after being impregnated by the Dark Keeper's eggs and cursed by Asmodeus. He didn't mean or want to be in this situation, but unless he wanted his daughter to die, he had to be.
For the sake of his daughter, he chooses to serve under the very same man who stole and took control over the body of his daughter in order to use her as his Incarnation Body. (Basically child abuse, even if Han Dareum was unconscious most of the time. And this is the only thing keeping Han Myungoh working under Asmodeus.)
Chapter 251: Episode 47 – Demon King Selection (5)
"Come to think of it, Han Myungoh had really experienced many things. In a sense, he might've had a harder time than me."
Kim Dokja even says this himself. Because, unlike Kim Dokja, Han Myungoh was just a completely normal middle-aged person. Gave birth, survived and raised a child all on his own, no help from the 4th-wall, no reliable people by his side, and has a Demon King actively AFTER HIM. Crazy Work.
He's not a main character by any chance, but Han Myungoh's efforts and experiences are worthy of recognition, and Kim Dokja does just that. It's insane.
Chapter 259: Episode 49 – The Best at Something (1)
Now it's said that he also has postpartum depression. (This was probably for shits and giggles on the author's part though,) and he's on a damn apocalypse, which means he's always on a high stress situation.
This scenario is completely assumption on my part, but how terrifying must it have been to have your child in your arms and feel the urge to throw it on the ground or the wall? PPD is dangerous, he must've felt the urge to do it, at least once.
Han Dareum was probably lucky she grew up faster than human children, I think Han Myungoh would've actually done it considering the, quite frankly, absurd situation and stress he's constantly put under, and shortly after childbirth too. (Unless the dude had crazy will power or they both died, which did almost happen, and it's the reason Han Myungoh gave up his daughter to Asmodeus, it was to save her.)
To top it all off, he refused to leave Han Dareum when she was taken away by Asmodeus, and his entire arc throughout the Whole Novel was literally him trying his darndest to get her back, whether it's doing dirty work for other people or being an underling of Kim Dokja's.
W parent. Han Myungoh.
_____
Of course, this doesn't mention all the things that happened to him or the things I like about him because I want to save some for later posts.
#orv#omniscient readers viewpoint#han myungoh#my drawing museum#I'm completely and utterly fixated to this guy. Always have been for years lmao. He's an OG comfort character for me
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NO IDEA ☆ l.dh
pairing: loser!donghyuck x fem!reader
no idea synopsis: a story where both you and lee donghyuck seem to get what you want. he's the perfect pawn in making your ex-boyfriend jealous and the smarty pants tutor helping you pass your math class. donghyuck has it easy too, he's finally able to seek out and experience the world of dating through you, his long-devoted crush and surprisingly enthusiastic tutoring student. but then again, when meaningless tutoring sessions soon evolve into reciprocated feelings, is it really that easy?
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genre: college au, nonidol au, fake dating au, social media au (includes written chapters), classmates to friends to lovers, he's a nerd & she's a popular cheerleader (you see where this is going), he fell first but she fell harder trope, kinda based off to all the boys i've loved before, fluff, crack/humor, angst, one-sided pining that turns into mutual pining
warnings: explicit language, unrealistic college partying, talks about family issues (this does NOT reflect any of the idol's families!), yuqi has an ex gf, some alcohol consumption, kys and sexual humor, bullying, hyuck and his buds are mistreated ☹️, hyunjin is a bad bf!!!, cheesy af, unrequited love, bad insults that sound like they're from the 2000s, HELLA miscommunication
no idea playlist: btr's no idea, taylor swift's you belong with me, the vamps + demi lovato's somebody to you, james arthur's can i be him, ariana grande's daydreamin, fitz & the tantrums' out of my league, shawn mendes' treat you better, bruno mars' just the way you are, lonely god's marlboro nights, the 1975's i'm in love with you, sam smith's like i can, arctic monkeys' wanna be yours
author's note: FIRST HYUCK SMAUU! how we feeling 😏 i needed to get this idea out of my system! plus, i love this type of trope, and haechan just fits the nerdy role 😭 I HAD TO! but happy reading :D <3
comment if you wish to be tagged for the story's updates!
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profiles: "ncu freaks" + jeno 🤔 | gal pals & two men
intro. #manifestationiskey 🩷
ep 1. but a FAILING?
ep 2. i guess i'm her tutor
ep 3. WHY IS HE ATTRACTIVE
ep 4. COUGH y/n bag him COUGH
ep 5. i know i can treat youuu bettterr
ep 6. YNHYUCK PLOT IS FINALLY SAILING!
ep 7. bro texts with his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓪𝓵𝓹𝓱𝓪 mode on 🐺👅
ep 8. bro fumbled HARD 🤦♂️
ep 9. LET THE BOY LIVE!! HES IN LOVE!!
ep 10. THE HARD LAUNCH GOES CRAZY
ep 11. lemme guess, fake boyfriend responsibilities? (written)
ep 12. jeno got me up... plotting
ep 13. AMAZING fake boyfriend
ep 14. meeting the ncu freaks? (written)
ep 15.
ep 16.
ep 17.
ep 18.
more to come. . .!
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started: 09/06/24 finished:
© JIRSUNGS. ANY TRANSLATIONS/REPOSTS/PUBLISHES OF MY WORKS ON ANY PLATFORM ARE STRICTLY PROHIBITED! ALL COMMENTS, REBLOGS, LIKES, & FEEDBACK ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU, MWA! <3
#nct dream imagines#nct dream smau#nct dream texts#nct imagines#nct smau#haechan fluff#haechan smau#lee haechan smau#haechan fake texts#nct haechan#nct 127 smau#nct 127 scenarios#nct texts#lee donghyuck smau#lee donghyuck fluff#haechan texts#nct 127 texts#nct 127 fake texts#nct dream fake texts#haechan x reader#haechan x female reader#nct dream fluff#nct 127 imagines#nct dream scenarios#haechan imagines#haechan scenarios#kpop texts#nct dream x reader#nct fluff#kpop smau
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cw. worker!reader, prohero!katsuki, aged-up (25), some more pining, cussing (bkg-typical), mentions of food, we're finally meeting the bakugous!, angst (if you look closely)
words. 4.8k (see why i had to split it...)
a/n. we have one more chapter to go, y'all! i'd love to hear your thoughts about the series so far, as well as how you think it's gonna end <3
masterlist | part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 9
It doesn’t elude you that the air entering your nostrils and lungs through the shaky inhale you take is nothing short of crisp.
It’s early evening in the suburbs where Bakugou’s parents live just in the peripheries of Musutafu. The sunset that graced you through the man’s car windows on the way over was now nowhere to be seen, having been replaced by the sight of the waning gibbous with a sprinkle of stars dotting the night sky.
Something you rarely see in the city, you think to yourself.
Your head craned towards the infinite ceiling, you continue to admire the view, or at least try to do so—the act seemingly becoming more and more impossible by the second, what with your nerves shot and your stomach churning with anticipatory anxiety.
Bakugou must have noticed your wobbly breathing, because the man side-eyes you for a beat before finally speaking. “What are you, nervous?”
You turn your head to look at him, taking in the sight of your boss in a dark brown sweater with a white collar peeking out at the top in an effort to ground yourself, although you find you’re not feeling any calmer.
You hesitate for a moment, before heaving another jittery, somewhat resigned, sigh.
No point in hiding the truth now.
You shrug, “Yeah…”
“Don’t be,” he promptly replies, catching you off guard. His voice is serious and deceivingly firm when he finishes it off.
“They’re gonna like you.”
You don’t get the chance to think about how to respond, let alone react instinctively because the front door opens as if on cue, and out comes a relatively tall woman with ash blonde hair, followed by a slightly taller brown-haired man.
You’ve barely gotten a word in when you get scooped into the arms of the woman you now identify as Bakugou Mitsuki, and when she pulls away and keeps you at arm's length—beaming, no less, in what you hope is happiness—it takes everything in you not to gawk at how stunning the woman is.
“…You’re overwhelming her, honey,” you hear the man, who you assume is Bakugou Masaru, say worriedly at your right side.
“Oh, right,” Mitsuki hurriedly releases her hold of you and retracts her hands, flashing you a bright albeit apologetic smile right after. “Forgive me, it’s just that I never thought this day would come!”
At that, she shoots Bakugou, who’s standing beside your left, a pointed look before turning back to grin at you, “I can’t believe Katsuki has finally brought a girl home!”
You don’t have to look at the man beside you to know he’s sporting a scowl. “Watch it, old hag,” he growls.
“You watch it, child. Mind how you talk to your mother in front of your girl.”
You can’t help the chuckle that escapes you as you watch the exchange, inadvertently catching the two blondes’ attention, their gazes drifting toward you at the sound. After a brief second, and to your relief, Mitsuki starts laughing along but Bakugou only looks away in what you think is irritation.
“Well, this girl is grateful for the invite, Mitsuki-san,” you start, mustering your most thankful smile. “But I hope I’m not imposing on your family…”
Mitsuki is quick to respond with a wave of a hand, “Not at all! You’re our guest of honor. Please, make yourself at home!”
Masaru nods in agreement, extending his right hand for you to shake, which you happily do. His smile is gentle—a stark contrast to Bakugou’s default expressions, you note—when he finally invites the both of you in. As you do—eager to escape the cold—you glance at Bakugou behind you, who’s apparently already been looking at you, although he averts his gaze when your eyes make contact.
Again with that solemn expression.
That unsettling expression drops down to the bottom of your list of priorities, however, when you enter the threshold of their home. You’re immediately hit with a glorious combination of fragrances emanating from what you think is the kitchen at the far side of the room.
“Everything smells great, Mitsuki-san,” you offer, hoping the sincerity can be heard from your tone.
You think it must have because the woman instantly lights up at the comment, “Why, thank you! Every day’s not Thanksgiving, after all.”
You nod, following them along into the living room, taking a seat on the corduroy couch opposite Mitsuki upon Masaru’s wordless invitation. “It’s so nice how you guys go all out to celebrate the holiday.”
You note how Bakugou, who’s planted on the armrest beside Mitsuki, frowns at the compliment.
“What?” you ask him before you can stop yourself, curious.
“They don’t really celebrate it,” he grunts, before tossing his mother a borderline disgusted look. “The old hag is just using it as an excuse to invite you over.”
That quip grants him a smack in the head from the said “hag”. Bakugou doesn’t yelp or cry in pain, although he does let out a slight hiss. You, again, can’t help the smile that creeps on your face as you watch them.
Mitsuki is facing Bakugou as she tuts in what you think is a warning, before turning to regard you again, a grin now having replaced the reprimanding expression that had just been on her face a second ago.
It grows even wider when she says: “What do you say we leave the rest of the cooking up to the boys and we go through Katsuki’s photo albums?”
“S-sure!” you quickly respond, the entirety of the suggestion not registering for a beat until it does, your head whipping to look at the man as you blurt out: “Bakugou, you can cook?”
At that, Mitsuki’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, eyes darting between the both of you. “Wait, are you saying he’s never cooked for you before?” Mitsuki asks, incredulous.
She then turns to her son, who now has his arms crossed in front of his broad chest like a petulant child, “Young man, what have you been doing?”
“God, relax,” Bakugou groans as he stands up from where he was seated, rolling his eyes as he makes his way to the kitchen. “We’ve just been busy with work. No time for that shit.”
“Busy with work, my ass,” she calls out to him, before once again turning to face you. “And honey, there’s no need to be all formal around us. Go ahead and call Katsuki by his first name—there’s really nothing to be shy about.”
Before you can think against it, your eyes widen in surprise for a fraction of a second before you school your face into what you think is an appropriate enough expression. “R-right, sorry.”
You chance a glance at the man, who’s now hacking away at the green onions like a madman albeit quite expertly, what you think is red creeping up his face in nothing else but scornful exasperation.
“So,” Mitsuki starts, and you turn back to see her wiggling her eyebrows at you, “about the photo albums?”
Just as Mitsuki suggested, you busied yourself with photo albums filled to the brim with close documentation of Bakugou growing up while the two men finished up in the kitchen. It didn’t come as a surprise that Bakugou was a cute kid, a signature boyish grin decorating his face in the few pictures where he isn’t scowling or glaring at the camera. You greedily took in the seemingly mundane details of Bakugou’s childhood as Mitsuki narrated the backstory of each photograph, smiling and even laughing along when she cracked a joke about how her son must have been born as the proverbial grump based on how early he learned how to glower.
Bakugou didn’t say anything the entire time you pore over the albums, probably used to his mom mouthing about her only child to friends and family who are willing to listen. Before you know it, dinner is eventually served, and the dishes that Bakugou and Masaru would bring from the island countertops to their hardwood dining table looked nothing short of scrumptious. It didn’t take long for you to conclude that they tasted exactly how they looked.
“Everything tastes incredible, but the miso ramen is glorious, Mitsuki-san,” you piped up in the middle of dinner.
The woman only tossed you a pleased, somewhat knowing look. “You’ve got your boyfriend to thank for that, dear.”
You must have looked like a deer in the headlights, because the man of the hour’s parents laugh at your expression. You stole a glance at Bakugou, who only slurped at his bowl in silence, face schooled into a rather neutral countenance.
A steady conversation gradually enveloped the four of you as you went ham on dinner, and you now find your shoulders relaxing, the tension from earlier leaving your body. You discuss current events, which then leads to Masaru asking Bakugou about how the agency is fairing in light of the recent spikes in crimes. The topic then drifts to you, like what’s your family like and what your parents do for a living; it shifts afterward to how work is going for them in the fashion industry, to the couple's retirement plans, with Mitsuki waxing poetic about how they really need to be there for each other when they do retire because Bakugou doesn’t visit them enough. To that, the man only scowls, mumbling something about how he does, in fact, visit them enough, and that the “old hag’s” definition of enough is stupidly skewed.
“But enough about us!” Mitsuki completely disregards Bakugou’s retort, shifting in her seat to address you, “I’ve actually been dying to ask you this question since you arrived. I know our Katsuki isn’t the easiest—”
“Hah?”
“—guy to be around, and so I’m really glad he was able to find someone as lovely as you. So,” Mitsuki tosses you a playful look, “what do you like about Katsuki?”
You barely stop yourself from choking on the maki roll lodged in your throat, quickly swallowing it rather painfully as you scramble for the proper way to react and respond. From the corner of your eye, you see Bakugou shift uncomfortably in his seat, but he doesn’t say anything to shut down his mother or even shift the topic of the conversation.
“Uh—” you start lamely, “What do I like about… him?”
At that, Mitsuki laughs good-naturedly. “Surely there has to be something, right? Please, indulge this old lady!”
You chuckle along with her, albeit rather awkwardly, before clearing your throat.
The only way to make it out of this conversation alive and relatively unscathed is by lacing your answers with the truth.
And so you do.
“Ba—” you start, catching yourself in the nick of time, “K-Katsuki—” you pause again, hating the way you uttered his name so tentatively like it’s something obviously foreign, “—is the most dedicated person I know.”
Mitsuki only nods in encouragement, as if urging you to go on.
And right now, you find that you’re nothing if not a people-pleaser.
“He’s admirable—there’s a reason why he’s risen to the top this quickly and stayed there,” you nod, pleased at what you think is certainty bleeding into your tone. “I don’t have any problems at all leading the HR department, what with him being the best example of what an outstanding work ethic looks like.”
The room falls into a lull, and as the seconds tick by with no one saying anything, you’re starting to think you said the wrong thing when Mitsuki finally speaks up.
“That—that’s great to hear, dear, really.” She seems to hesitate for a moment before holding your gaze again, and you brace yourself for what she’s about to say next.
“…But what about outside of work?”
There it is.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Uh—” you parrot again, mentally slapping yourself for stuttering when you can just keep your mouth shut while you think of an acceptable reply like a normal, sane person.
You glance at Bakugou, who’s now looking at you in what you think is anticipation.
Despite yourself, you feel yourself flush.
Yet you’re unable to break away from his gaze when the words finally come to you.
“…He cares,” you manage to miraculously get out while Bakugou’s crimson eyes bore a hole into you. “…Deeply. And, he makes sure it shows in his actions.”
You watch as Bakugou studies you for a few more seconds as if he’s searching for something—you don’t know what—hidden amidst your features, eventually averting his gaze back to his plate.
You follow suit, looking down at your half-finished ebi tempura, suddenly feeling too self-conscious and oddly vulnerable.
It’s Mitsuki’s soft voice that causes you to look up again.
“That’s… everything I wanted to hear,” Mitsuki almost whispers, and you think if you squint hard enough you can see tears pooling in her eyes.
You shoot her a tight-lipped smile, sensing an unusual sense of uneasiness blooming in your gut.
Thankfully, and to your relief, Mitsuki doesn’t ask any more equally humiliating questions after that, the conversation having been steered to more shallow and light-hearted topics, primarily by Masaru. Without you noticing, dinner time reaches its conclusion and it’s now time to clean up.
You stand up from your chair and start gathering leftovers to stack the plates right after when Mitsuki reaches across the table and pries them off your grip. You look at her in confusion, but she only shakes her head.
“We’ll handle the cleaning, dear.”
Behind her, Masaru nods in agreement, and you’re about to open your mouth to protest but Bakugou beats you to it.
“No use arguing with the old hag. Just give it up.”
At that, you sag in disappointment—you really wanted to pay them back, even if it’s just through helping out with cleaning—but obey nevertheless, putting down the cutlery you were just about to gather into a bunch.
Now with nothing to do with your hands, you stand at the edge of the table awkwardly, watching the couple swiftly clearing out the area. Masaru seems to notice your discomfort because he speaks up.
“Hey, Katsuki,” he starts, “why don’t you show her around your bedroom?”
Almost immediately, Mitsuki beams at her husband, evidently enthralled by the proposition. You fight the strong urge to furrow your eyebrows in worry. “That’s a good idea, honey. I bet she’d love to see your childhood knickknacks, Katsuki!”
You steal a glimpse of Bakugou—or his back, really—who’s now seated on the couch with a leg propped on it.
He’s not saying anything.
Why isn’t he saying anything?
You gulp despite yourself, shifting to face Mitsuki with a grimace-smile. “It’s okay, I don’t want to make him uncomfo—”
“Come on.”
You almost get whiplash from how fast you turn to look at Bakugou, who apparently isn’t giving you a chance to argue, already walking up the stairs to the second floor. You look back at his parents, who only gesture you to go on.
Well.
You guess you’re going, then.
You trail behind Bakugou in silence, your footsteps echoing through the stairway as you go up, one step at a time. Once you land on top of the staircase, you follow him as he turns to the right, down to the door at the end of the hallway, which you now identify as his bedroom.
He pauses a few feet away from the entryway, reaching forward for the knob and turning to face you right after, an indiscernible expression etched on his face.
“Don’t fuckin’—nose around,” he grumbles, voice gruff, “or some shit.” Despite his half-hearted warning, he opens the door, leaning back against it so you can squeeze in and enter.
Typical of the King of Consistency, Bakugou’s childhood bedroom is as impeccable as every other personal space of his that you’ve got the honor of visiting. The gray walls are pristine and are only disrupted by posters of pro-heroes, mostly of All Might, but also like that of Best Jeanist and Endeavor. Piles and piles of books line the shelves at the room's corners, speckled and lightly decorated with figurines and what you think are older gaming consoles. You study the rest of the arrangements, and before you can think against it, you find yourself smiling as you survey the room, feeling a paradoxical sense of comfort blanket you.
“…What’re you fucking smiling about, dumbass?”
At the call out, the expression on your face immediately falls. You glance back at the man who’s now leaning against the doorframe, arms once again crossed in front of his chest.
“N-nothing,” you immediately retort. “It’s just that your room is so clean and well-kept.” You pause, hesitating to say the next thing, but ultimately decide to go for it. “It’s very… you.”
You don’t know what you expected him to say or do in response—an eye roll, or a lazy scoff, or a challenge, daring you to expound on what the fuck you mean “it’s very him”, maybe?
But again, Bakugou doesn’t say anything; he simply grunts.
Against your will, you feel a wave of disappointment course through you.
“…Your parents seem like such great people,” you muse, finding yourself wanting to salvage the conversation as you continue to take in the endearing details of your boss’s childhood bedroom.
Bakugou grunts again, only this time you think it’s in agreement. “They’re alright,” he grinds out, “can get a bit overbearing at times, though.”
You hum in reply, sensing a seed of happiness blossoming within you at the thought of him opening up. “I get that. But I can clearly see they love you very much.”
The man hums back, sounding deep in thought.
Your fingers absentmindedly trail the backrest of his desk chair. “Your mom said you don’t really visit as much. Is that true or was she just pulling your leg?”
At that, Bakugou heaves such a heavy sigh, that it catches your full attention. “I haven’t been here since around early this year.”
You gawk, “Seriously?”
He shoots you a glare, although there’s not much bite to it. “Don’t look at me like that. You know how it is at work.”
You nod, “…You do put in an alarming number of hours.”
“Well, it’s not like I have a choice, do I?” he immediately retorts, although the question seems more rhetorical.
Despite that, you steel yourself to answer back this time. “I think you actually do. I know of so many heroes who treat their jobs like the typical 9 to 5. Believe me, I hear things at work, too.”
“…What are you trying to say?”
His voice is so uncharacteristically small, it catches you off guard.
In return, you try to make your voice as gentle as possible. “I’m saying I meant what I said earlier during dinner. It’s admirable—the work that you do. I think that’s what really sets you apart from all the others, putting aside your flashy ass quirk.”
You take a gamble and toss a smirk Bakugou’s way.
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think the man was at a loss for words.
Well, there is a first for everything.
Suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed over the bold move you just pulled, you take advantage of the silence, walking a few steps towards the other wall. You carefully brush your hand against what looks like a vintage-looking All Might poster above the headboard of his bed.
“I didn’t know you liked All Might this much.”
His reply is almost instantaneous: “He’s only the best hero to exist ever.”
You, again, fail to restrain the smile that breaches your face. It’s adorable how defensive he’s become in a split second, having transformed into the diehard fanboy that he apparently is.
“Is he the kind of hero you aspire to eventually become?” you ask, curiosity bubbling in your head.
He shifts on his feet, taking a few steps in your direction. “Yeah,” he pauses, before continuing, “the kind that always wins.”
“Oh, now I know where that line from before came from.”
As if immediately knowing what you're talking about, Bakugou flushes in what you think is anger, but the more you stare at him, it becomes clearer that it’s more akin to embarrassment.
“Shut up.”
You snort, “So the philosophy you gleaned from All Might—that applies to all aspects of your life? Including being your underling’s fake trophy boyfriend?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
You can’t help the giggle that erupts from you as you watch Bakugou stew in what you think is shame, squirming from where he’s standing as if he’s itching to jump and strangle your frame. The man, once again, glares at you, but if anything, you can tell he’s more frustrated with himself than with you.
Still, you find yourself feeling bad. “Sorry,” you start, fighting the urge to chuckle, “I was just kidding.”
“You’re a fucking handful, you know that?”
At that, you pout, the words tumbling off your mouth before you can rein them in. “Sorry, sir.”
“Don’t—” Bakugo splutters, “fucking—stop calling me sir, dumbass. And,” he frowns, “stop calling yourself as my underling. That shit sounds fucking demeaning.”
“Okay, okay,” you laugh, flashing him a grateful smile. He doesn’t return it, opting to roll his eyes and look away instead, but the corners of his lips are twitching like he’s fighting them from curling upwards.
An abrupt thought crosses your mind at that very sight of him.
And before you can talk yourself out of it, you blurt it out.
“I’m glad.”
Bakugou meets your gaze, an eyebrow raised in question. “You’re glad what?”
You shrug, fighting down the self-consciousness. “I’m glad to see you seem more relaxed and comfortable. I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I’ve noticed you’ve been extra scowly lately—if that is even a word.”
“I have not.”
“Yes, you have. The other workers at the agency have noticed, too.”
“Who the fu—”
“I’m not dropping any names,” you interject, “but some have approached me asking if we were, you know, okay?”
You peer at the man, who’s now refusing to look at you. You brace yourself for what you’re about to ask. “Are we? Okay?”
Bakugou, again, conveniently decides to be mute.
“Did I do something wrong to slight you, or something? Or have I crossed a line during that get-together with your friends that one time? Because if I have, I want you to know that I really didn’t mean t—”
“I thought you didn’t want to come over,” he cuts you off.
You freeze. “What?”
He finally meets your gaze, a frown now seemingly permanently etched on his face. “Here. To my parents’. And you’ve been acting all weird around me, stuttering and stuff.”
Shit.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Bakugou huffs, “Am I making you uncomfortable, or some shit?”
You can only gape at the man who looks so pained, as if this conversation is physically hurting him, which, it probably is, knowing him. You open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.
He seems to notice this, because his frown grows even deeper. “What, am I?”
“No!” you exclaim, thankful to finally have your voice back. You vigorously shake your head, “No, please don’t think that. I—just—I just have a lot on my mind lately, that’s why. Explains why I’m all jumpy and stammering and all over the place.”
To your relief, Bakugou doesn’t prod any further, although you can sense a bit of suspicion emanating from the man despite your answer. He stares at you for another beat before shaking his head in resignation, opting to check his watch instead.
“It’s getting late. Let’s go downstairs and tell them we’re leaving.”
And just like that, Bakugou turns his back towards you and exits the bedroom.
Right after you followed Bakugou down to the living room where Mitsuki and Masaru were enjoying a glass of red wine, you informed the couple that you were leaving. The brunette immediately got to work, packing viands into Tupperware for you to take home despite your silent protests. Mitsuki, on the other hand, tried to convince you to stay for another hour or so, but Bakugou wasn’t hearing any of it. After finally accepting that she was getting nowhere with her case, Mitsuki called on her husband to see you out by the front porch.
With a bag of aromatic dishes in one hand, you stand in front of their doorway, not knowing what to say for the nth time in one night. You chance a glance towards Bakugou’s direction, the man having entered his car already, starting up the engine in preparation for the drive back home.
But you apparently don’t have to say anything because it’s Mitsuki who fills the air.
Her smile is so gentle and motherly that you can’t help the painful throb your heart makes at the sight. It’s quickly followed by the now-familiar feeling of uneasiness that has been revisiting you again and again since the evening started.
Still, you manage to smile back. At the sight of it, Mitsuki’s expression grows even brighter.
And her voice is low when she finally speaks.
“Don’t tell Katsuki this, but I’m glad you’re the one he’s decided to finally come meet us.” She reaches out to rub your shoulder, her smile not faltering, “I can see why.”
Thankfully, Mitsuki scoops you into another hug, sparing you the embarrassment and burden of having to react and respond with some intelligible reply to such a groundbreaking statement one can receive from any guy’s mother, no less.
At the couple’s request, you promise to visit again soon, and before you get to break character and admit to your mountain of lies in a crying heap, you beeline to the car and hop into the passenger seat.
Voice gruff, Bakugou nods at you. “Ready?”
You swallow thickly.
“Ready.”
The car ride home was silent. It felt long—longer than an hour, at least, your brain buzzing with unpleasant thoughts and stomach churning with anxious feelings the entire duration of it. You couldn’t seem to fall asleep no matter how much you tried. Eventually, you gave up trying to mid-way, opting to stew in whatever the fuck is going on with you instead.
You were so engrossed in your brooding that you didn’t notice Bakugou pulling into your apartment complex’s driveaway.
At the sound of his voice announcing your arrival, you sit up in your seat in alarm before promptly gathering your things, saying your usual quick goodbye and thank you, and stepping out of the car.
To your surprise, however, he puts the car in park and follows suit, stepping out of the vehicle himself.
You hesitate for a moment before starting the short trek toward the entrance, acutely aware of Bakugou trailing behind you.
When you get to the entryway, you finally turn to regard the man, whose eyes dart down to look directly at you, hands in his pockets.
In spite of yourself, you gulp. “Thank you… for today, Bakugou.”
He merely shakes his head, expression neutral. “I should be the one thanking you. You didn’t have to come with and suffer through all that with me, yet you did.”
“I didn’t suffer,” you’re quick to correct him because you didn’t. “I actually had a really nice time. Your parents were so kind to me, and I just—I…”
“What?”
You shake your head, unsure how to accurately phrase what you’re feeling. “I just feel bad, you know? You could be bringing home a girl that you actually like to meet your parents who they can fawn over instead of me, yet here you are presenting a decoy and fooling the people who raised you all because I—”
“Hey—”
“I roped you into pretending to be my boyfriend and now look at the mess we’ve made. And I know—”
“Stop it.”
His voice comes out so commanding that there’s nothing you can do but obey.
Bakugou frowns. “You didn’t ‘rope’ me into doing this, okay? I— We—” he hesitates, mouth opening and closing then opening and closing again before he finally just shakes his head in defeat. “I entered this arrangement willingly. You don’t have to blame yourself for anything.”
“But—”
“End of discussion.”
At that, you huff in irritation, but you know better than to argue with your notoriously stubborn boss. Nevertheless, and despite yourself, you can’t help but feel the gratitude that blooms in your chest at Bakugou’s reassurance.
“Now get in there,” he gestures to the apartment, “It’s getting way too fucking cold.”
As if on cue, you involuntarily shudder, which grants you a wordless ‘See?’ from the man. With a final nod, you reluctantly follow his orders and enter through the doorway, although you don’t immediately go to the elevator hall. Instead, you stand by the windows, finding yourself wanting to make sure Bakugou doesn’t get jumped on his way back to the car.
And as you watch Bakugou’s receding backside, the guilt that you’ve been tirelessly suppressing the entire night finally breaks free, threatening to swallow you whole.
This can’t go on.
tagging. @kitthepurplepotato @katsukis1wife @brunnetteiwik @bunnysaursushii @beab19 @yawnzzzzzzzz @cholios @kashee-h @iluv-ace @lotuslovers @lovra974 @chelbyisbord @k0z3me @meeeepsworld @asura-rose @dragonscribble @moonz33 @citrustsuki @deadhands69 @lemuhr @rosemarygalaxy @iluv-ace @eyesforbkg @carpe000diem @shushbruv @matchat3a @ttalgi @bakunianadecorazon @the2ndl @keiscwsz @onlyisaa @aizawa19 @471323 @bakugosgothhoe
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#WOOOOOOH#tensions are high indeed#let's gooooo one more chapter left y'all!!!#bakugou x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou imagines#mha imagines#bnha imagines#mha scenarios#bnha scenarios#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou imagine#bakugou drabble#bakugo x reader#bakugo x y/n
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Hold You Tight: Part 6
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Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 5 | Series Masterlist | Part 7
Chapter Summary: You're determined to have a quiet rest of the day without seeing or thinking about Bucky.
Chapter Word Count: Over 3.5k
Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, stalking, inner conflict, insecurities, manipulation, possessiveness, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight! Hope you lovelies continue to enjoy. Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo. ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You sat in the tub, the cascading water from the shower head flowing over you as you stared at the opposite wall. Normally you welcomed the heat and billowing steam, but you shivered the longer you stayed there. The sound of the water droplets couldn't drown out Bucky’s moans or words from your mind.
“I’m so hard for you. And you’re wet for me, aren’t you? Fuck, I wish I was there to take care of you.”
“You’ll take it. You’ll take me. Like a good girl.”
“Wish I was there to help clean you up and get you dirty all over again.”
With a groan, you leaned your head against the wall. The man jerked off to the thought of you. No one ever desired you like that, at least not that you knew of. More than that he wanted you in his home. By his side. Why? You couldn't grasp why he wanted you so badly.
You also couldn't deny that his words got to you, if your wet your underwear was anything to judge by when you peeled them off. Were you so desperate for a semblance of affection that a few dirty words from a terrifying man turned you on? What did that say about you?
Just like the last couple of days, that was too much to unpack.
“I’m not special,” you whispered.
You could practically see Bucky across from you with sadness in his eyes, the way he looked at you when you argued last night that you weren't special. He didn't believe that for a second. Quite the opposite. He saw something in you that others didn't. Wasn't that what you wanted deep down? To be seen? Cherished?
Not like this.
“Get up,” you muttered, carefully getting to your feet. You weren't going to sit there and feel sorry for yourself. Things could always be worse. All things considered, Bucky hadn't hurt you. Hadn't lied to you either, as far as you knew. Which made your heart ache at that thought of leaving your place behind.
If Bucky kept his promise and forced you to move in, what would you tell your friends? Would they think you were crazy for moving so fast or would they not question it at all because Bucky was rich, handsome, and they would assume he made you happy? You’d say what you had to if it meant keeping them safe, but feared it could possibly put up a wall between you and the group since you couldn't tell them the full truth. Maybe his intention was to drive you away from them and bring you closer to him.
Your head began to ache from the overanalyzing. “I’m not going to think about Bucky Barnes.” Shutting the water off, you pushed the questions and scenarios as far from your mind as possible as you went about the rest of your morning. The rest of the day would be routine, normal, nothing out of the ordinary.
Naturally, Bucky messaged you once you finished getting dressed to prove you wrong. “Thinking of you. Are you thinking of me?”
You swallowed dryly as you typed back to him. It was like he knew you were trying to forget about everything. “I think you want me to think about you.”
It didn't take him long to respond. “Of course, I do. I hope you’re thinking about our chat from earlier and when we can finish it.” The man didn't want to just get in your head. He wanted to get under your skin. “Is it too much to ask for a photo? You have such a beautiful smile.”
You scoffed both from the audacity and boldness. It wasn't enough that he pleasured himself while talking to you, he wanted a photo of you, too? He specifically noted your smile. Was it really beautiful? “Just because you sent me photos of you in your jackets doesn't mean I have to send photos back.”
“Pretty please?”
It was almost cute. “Not today. Sorry, Bucky.”
“That’s okay. Was worth a shot. Maybe I can convince you to let me take a photo when I see you tonight.”
You froze. There it was. Not “if” he’d see you tonight, but “when”. There was no stopping him, was there? Maybe it was that thought that possessed you to goad him because you couldn't otherwise explain why you sent what you did. “You won’t see me because I have plans. But tell you what. If by any chance you do see me tonight, I’ll let you take a photo.”
You blinked and reread your message. Why did you do that? Sending that was as stupid as it was impulsive and would only encourage him.
“Is that a challenge or a promise?”
Your stomach twisted in knots, but you sent one last reply. “It’s whatever you want it to be.”
Bucky was so convinced he’d see you and there was a good chance he would, but you’d make him work for it a little. You wouldn't stick around your apartment. That would probably be the first place he’d look for you.
Catch me if you can.
Your shift went as normal as could be. Steady enough to keep you busy, but not feel overwhelmed. No difficult customers. No surprise visits from Bucky either, though you kept waiting for him to walk through the door.
There was no relief though once you clocked out since you had no idea where you'd hide out for the rest of the day. Everyone you reached out to was busy. Addison, of course, was going out to dinner with Brady and you didn't bother messaging her. Dana had a double date with another of your friends. The rest all had romantic evenings planned, too. They apologized like always.
Was it bad that you were kind of used to it?
A message from Bucky appeared the second you stepped out of the shop. “Any chance you’ll give me a clue where you’ll be?”
You sighed, a sense of weariness seeping in that you couldn't blame on work. “Not a chance.”
“Should I go find you now? I’m a little bored.”
Your gaze darted from left to right. Was he already nearby somewhere watching? “If you're bored, read a book.”
A smile crossed your face when you suddenly thought about where to go. You told yourself earlier you didn't want to think about Bucky for the rest of the day. What better way than to distract yourself with a book? And what better place than your favorite bookstore, Turn the Page?
Before you tucked your phone away, you turned the GPS off just in case Bucky had a way to get access to it. You wouldn't put it past him to try. You wouldn't take your normal route either. It was crazy to think things like a routine could be a bad thing, but Bucky made you question everything.
Walking through the city, you occasionally glanced back over your shoulder to make sure no one was following you. No one looked your way, too occupied with their own agendas as they shuffled around you. Something still felt off, goosebumps forming on your arms and your heart sinking as you felt a pair of steel eyes on you.
You didn't realize you stopped walking until someone nearly collided with you. “I’m so sorry,” you said, giving you the push you needed to move again. Quickening your pace, you reminded yourself it was still light out. People were around. Even if Bucky was following you, what would he do?
You moved forward and didn't look back until you found yourself at the bookstore, taking a calming breath before you walked in. Turn the Page had a cozy and peaceful atmosphere with a range from classic to modern stories. You could spend hours there and feel perfectly at home.
“Hey, Marc,” you smiled at the man behind the counter.
“Hey. Good to see you,” Marc smiled back. He took over the bookstore over a year ago. Friendly for the most part and took pride in the shop. “Anything I can help you find? Just finished setting up some new releases.”
“No thanks,” you replied, selecting a thick romance novel that would pass the time. “I was just going to hang around and read for a bit if you don't mind.”
“Not at all. Can I get you anything to drink or eat? Coffee? Baked good?” He offered, nodding to the tiny cafe area in the corner.
“Just water for now, please,” you said. You probably needed to eat, but you’d wait for your nerves to fully settle. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, what’s up?” He asked, going to grab you your drink as you followed.
“Have you heard of The 107th?” You asked. You weren't sure what possessed you to do so. Maybe it was because he seemed like a neutral person to talk to.
“The nightclub?” Mark eyed you curiously. “That doesn't seem like your scene.”
“I’ve only been once. A friend's bachelorette party over a month ago,” you explained, assuming he meant it wasn't your type of scene since you weren't a party girl. “But I may have met the owner recently.”
Marc kept a neutral expression, but noticeably paused before he handed the glass over. “You met Bucky Barnes?”
“Yeah,” you answered, shifting on your feet. “Do you know him?”
He busied himself by cleaning the counter. “Yeah, I know him,” he said, your chest tight. How? “Well, I wouldn't say I know him well. I’ve only met him a couple of times. A lot of the local owners have since he has a hand in quite a few endeavors. Donates to the local hospital and charities, too.”
“That’s nice,” you croaked, taking a sip. If he had a hand in local businesses, was it possible that he met your boss? “He seemed very driven when I spoke to him.”
“That he is,” he agreed, tossing the rag away. “Also dangerous,” he added under his breath.
“Dangerous?” You repeated. The man threatened your loved ones, but why would Marc call him that?
He paused to look at you, his eyes wider than before. “Yeah, but you’re too sweet to get mixed up in any of that, so forget I said anything. Please,” he urged. You wished you could. “He hasn't been poking around your shop, has he?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” you said. You hoped not.
“Sorry, I just assumed since you said you met him. Wouldn't surprise me if he stops in soon though with the anniversary coming up and all.”
“Anniversary of what?” You asked.
“His family. They…” He trailed off when the phone rang at the counter. “Sorry. I need to get back to work.”
“That’s okay. I’ll just start my book,” you said, going to take a seat on the other side of the shop. You took your usual spot on the couch and wished you hadn't said anything. Marc knew Bucky enough to say he was dangerous. And why would he eventually poke around your shop? Anniversary… Flowers…
“I wish you could've met my mom. She would've loved you.”
“She’s gone and that’s a topic for another day.”
You settled further into the couch with a huff. Bucky’s family and endeavors were none of your business. You weren't going to question it any further. You were going to sit and enjoy your book.
That was exactly what you did.
A few customers went in and out of the shop as you lost yourself in the story. It was easy to imagine snuggling with the hero as he whispered how much he loved you and always would. The sweet sort of romance that brought a smile to your face and allowed you to relax against the cushions. You were surprised you didn't fall asleep.
What time was it anyway?
“How’s the book?”
A shiver rolled over you as you peered up from the page and saw Bucky standing in front of you. He wore the blue jacket and his eyes stood out just as you said they would. Where you expected to see triumph in his gaze, there was only curiosity and awe. Like he happened to bump into you by accident instead of intentionally.
“What are you doing here?” You whisper shouted, not wanting to draw attention. While it wasn't a complete shock that he managed to find you, it was a miracle your heart hadn't given out from how fast it pounded over the last couple of days. “How did you find me?”
Did he actually follow you?
He smiled a little. “You’re the one who told me to read a book since I was bored,” he said, taking a seat beside you and slipping his arm around you. You tensed as he pulled you close, but he merely rubbed your arm with his gloved hand until you relaxed. “And finding you was just a process of elimination. I know you didn't go back to your place after you left this morning and there aren't too many places you like to venture by yourself in the city.”
“And just how do you know I didn't go back to my apartment?” You asked.
“I may or may not have an eye on the building,” he said casually. It could've been a joke or serious answer, neither of which were a laughing matter. “Or maybe you knew that would be the first place I’d try to look for you, so you decided to avoid it.”
You bit your tongue. That was exactly what you did. “Or maybe I wouldn't be there since I was supposed to go out.”
He nodded. “You were supposed to go out, but your plans fell through, didn't they?” He asked sympathetically. You didn't want his pity. “If I had to guess, they fell through even before we talked this morning.”
“My original plans fell through, yes,” you confirmed.
He hummed. “Were you embarrassed to tell me?”
You wrung your fingers together. There was no reason for you to feel bad for not telling him. You didn't owe him anything because he wasn't your boyfriend. “No,” you whispered.
“Did it just slip your mind when we talked?” He teased. At least he didn't sound upset or disappointed. Why wasn't he upset? Was he testing you?
“No. I just wanted a night off from being…” you trailed off, not sure how he would react in public to something he didn't want to hear. And what was it a night off from exactly? Being his new girlfriend?
He scratched along his chin, drawing attention to the gray hairs. “You know what I think?” He asked.
“I have no idea,” you replied.
“I think you were testing me because you wanted me to find you. You want me more than you want to admit,” he said. Your mouth fell open, but you couldn't speak. “Otherwise, why push me to look for you? Why hang out in one of your favorite shops knowing I could easily track you down?”
“I didn't…” You took a breath. You didn't want him to chase after you. That wasn't it. “I didn't push.”
“Moyo Kotyonok, you dared me with that message and you know it,” he smirked.
Biting your lip, you didn't deny it any further since he was partially right. You egged him on by offering to let him take a photo if he found you, which wasn't smart. If you had real plans, you wouldn't have done that. But you didn't do it because you wanted him to find you or wanted him in general.
You didn't.
“But we can talk about that later,” he said, gentler than you expected. “I’m sorry about your plans. What happened?”
You finally closed the book in your lap and exhaled. “Addison and I were supposed to hang out, but she’s going out to dinner with her fiancé instead,” you explained.
He narrowed his eyes. “So, she ditched you,” he said, disappointment finally seeping into voice.
You shook your head. “No, she didn't ditch me. We rescheduled,” you argued, quick to defend her. She didn't maliciously blow you off. “Things come up. It happens.”
Bucky smiled softly. “You stuck up for her immediately. I admire that,” he said, shifting to face you more. He practically crowded you. “Why not hang out with another friend?”
You looked at your lap. What was he playing at? “Because my friends are busy,” you whispered. It hurt to say it and it shouldn't. It was just a downside of being the single one in a group of friends who had significant others. No one was obligated to keep their schedules open in case you wanted to hang out.
He tilted your head up. Why wouldn't he just let you hide? “Just so you know, I will never be too busy for you,” he whispered. It wasn't fair that he looked at you like you mattered. “You’re my top priority.”
You ignored the warm sensation that spread from your heart. So many people made you an option. “I shouldn't be,” you whispered.
“But you are and that isn't going to change,” he said, steadfast as always. “And since this shop is going to close soon, why not go to the club with me? It'll be fun.”
You gestured to your comfortable outfit. “I’m not dressed for your club. Besides, I was going to call it an early night after I left.”
His eyes roamed your body with interest before he shrugged and took the book from your lap. “I have that dress waiting for you, but you can wear whatever you want since you look beautiful in anything.”
“Are you listening to what I'm saying? I said I want to call it an early night.” You moved to stand, your limbs tired from sitting. “For someone who claims to care, you don't take my feelings into consideration.”
He reached to grab your hand and took it before you could walk away. “I care more than anyone else,” he whispered vehemently before he took a breath, his eyes burning with passion as he stood up, too. “I’m not ignoring your feelings. It’s a compromise. We won't stay long, so come with me.”
“Thank you for the offer,” you began, trying to put out the fire in his eyes. “But why would I want to go to your club when all I want to do is read and relax?”
“Do I need to remind you that some of my friends will be there and they still want to meet you?” He asked, gently guiding you toward the front of the store. “And I can take your right back to your place after so you can rest. You'll still have an early night.”
He considered that a compromise? “But I-”
“You’ll be in bed before 10. You have my word.” He walked you toward the exit, past the remaining customers, and gave the associate behind the counter a smile before you could protest. “And don't worry about the book. I paid for it.”
“Wait, where’s Marc?” You asked. You hadn't spoken to him since your earlier conversation.
The associate looked at Bucky before she smiled. “I think he went out back for a quick break.”
“Before closing?” You asked.
“Let’s go,” Bucky said, heading out the door with you.
He helped you into the car by the curb as you were still catching up to what was happening. He effortlessly coaxed you out of a store with people around and into a car, alone. The man had no fear.
“Where's Ray?” You asked since the partition was up. “Shocked you didn't send him in to get me.”
“He actually offered, but I wanted to go in myself,” Bucky replied, chuckling at your expression. “And don't worry. He's close by.”
You huffed and stared at the garment bag where your dress waited when he put an arm back around you. “I just wanted some peace and quiet tonight.” But he got you right where he wanted you.
“Like I said, you'll meet my friends and you’ll be in bed by 10.” Bucky dragged his nose along your throat and inhaled your scent. Your eyes closed, but your body didn't freeze up the way you expected it to. “We’ll both get what we want.”
What you wanted didn't matter. “Bucky?”
“Yeah, doll?”
You closed your eyes. “Just how dangerous are you?”
“I’m the most dangerous man in the city, but you're safe with me,” he replied against your skin.
“And what if your friends don't like me?” You asked.
“You have nothing to worry about. They’ll love you,” he promised, bringing his head up to kiss your temple. “But no one will ever love you more than I do.”
Love.
You shuddered. You weren't sure what you feared more. That his friends would love you enough to help keep you by his side or how much Bucky claimed to love you. Because there was nothing more dangerous than a powerful man in love.
Which friend do we think is the most excited to see you with Bucky? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes#club owner!bucky barnes#club owner!bucky barnes x reader#soft!dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes au#james buchanan barnes#sebastian stan#bucky fic#sebastian stan x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#the winter soldier#x reader#turn it up au
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Can't Help Falling In Love
The Afterthought: Chapter 6 | series masterlist
ACOTAR x Archeron!Reader
chapter 5 | chapter 7 | ACOTAR x reader masterlist
Story Summary: Your gained independence has brought you more friendships, a companion, and, surprisingly, a new romance.
Warnings: shitty Feyre, very mild drinking, iiii honestly think that's it? I cannot think of anything else, let me know if I missed something pls
Words: ~11.8k
Author's Note: omg so I'm tired so there might be mistakes BUT everyone let me know what they think!!!!!!!!!! IM SO EXCITED TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK CAUSE OMG IVE BEEN SO EXCITED FOR THIS MOMENT. Also. Peep the fun lil cameo I made (I am sure you all will guess it easily lol it's p obvious imo. Also. I will share pictures if people ask 🤭) I hope you all like this chapter!! ps the title is from an Elvis song but I know it from Fools Rush In but that's what they dance to at the end
18+ only pls
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Mor returned just a few minutes after you finished getting dressed, in a soft, thick navy cotton nightgown, your feet clad in soft, fuzzy white slippers.
You had already set the table- another purchase from the secondhand furniture store that you had made yesterday, coming with four matching chairs. The scuffed walnut wood matched your bed frame, which had been a good enough reason for you to choose it.
And, that you'd been able to carry it home. Slowly, but you had, and you'd returned for the chairs promptly, each time apologizing to the seemingly annoyed shop owner who had said nothing each time, only stared at you over the top of his book.
You let Mor in after the first knock, giggling when you saw everything she was carrying. She had a small duffel bag, a bag filled with food, and another bag filled with... well, you weren't sure yet, but it was stuffed to the brim.
"Did you bring enough stuff, Mor?"
"Oh, hush you," Mor said, breezing past you to deposit the food on the stable, her other bags deposited next to your bed. "I brought pasta! There's a creamy one that has a seafood blend, and some good old spaghetti with meatballs. Plus-" Mor pulled another, smaller bag out. "Breadsticks!"
"Did you get anything healthy?" You asked, taking the breadstick that she handed to you and taking a bite.
"Nope," Mor said through her own bite. "I mean, unless you count tomatoes being a fruit. Which I totally do. So actually, yes."
You shook your head and laughed as you sat at the table, Mor following right after. "As long as there's tomatoes, then. What's all the other stuff?" You asked, pointing your breadstick at her other bags.
"Well, one is my clothes for tonight and in the morning, and the other is full of housewarming presents!"
You let out an exasperated sigh, but you couldn't help the smile that spread across your face. "More housewarming presents? I don't know how much of this I can take."
"Oh, you will take them happily," Mor said sternly. "They're just some small things that I thought you might need, nothing big. Though I would love to help you find a couch tomorrow, if you're up for it?"
You looked at the bag, and back to Mor. "That depends on how much you got me, Mor."
Mor smiled brightly. "Ahh, so you can be convinced. Do you want to know what they are now, or food first?" You glanced down at your breadstick, and quirked a brow at Mor. "I mean the pasta, silly. So?"
"Uhh... Presents first, I suppose, as long as the food won't get cold."
"That should be no problem, if we keep it in the bag. I'll go change into my pajamas really quick, and then you can see what I got you!"
A few minutes later you were sat on your bed, Mor beside you, pulling your first present out as you held your eyes shut.
"Go ahead and open!" Mor said after placing something that felt like a book in your outstretched hands.
It was a book- and upon opening, you saw that it was filled with handwriting exercises, and beginners words. Meant for a child, yes, but...
"Mor, thank you," you said tearily, pulling your friend into your arms. "This is- oh, this is so amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Mor giggled beside you. "You're welcome, Y/N! I know that glass Nuala and Cerridwen gave you is helpful for understanding letters, but I also know you'd prefer to do it yourself. Now, close your eyes again!"
The two of you repeated the process over and over again, until you'd received every present Mor had picked out for you.
She had gifted you a beautiful quill set, with a selection of colored inks along with a larger inkwell filled with the standard black. A diary, in a delicate shade of pink, along with matching letter paper and envelopes, a small kit to do wax seals for when you decide to send letters. Mor had also picked out a few lovely bars of hand soap, along with two cute crystal dishes to hold them. And Mor had brought you two new blankets, one a dark blue, and the other in a dark purple.
"You can never have enough blankets, Y/N. Never," Mor said seriously as the two of you moved back to the dining table, each of you having a blanket wrapped around your shoulders.
"I agree with you completely, Mor. And really, thank you for everything," you said sincerely, squeezing her hand.
"It's my pleasure, Y/N. I'm always happy to go shopping! Now- do you want some of both dishes? Cause... I do," Mor admitted with a grin as she pulled the to-go boxes out of the bag.
"I'd be happy to have both," you giggled, grabbing another breadstick from the bag, this one slightly cooler than before. "So- tell me what's been going on with the Hewn City? Unless you want to avoid work completely."
Mor sighed as she dished out some of both pastas for both of you, onto the pretty clay plates you had bought two days ago, with painted flowers decorating its surface. "Well, Keir has been a pain in my ass, using every available connection he has to try and stop the upcoming election. He's been holding these stupid little rallies at the nightly revels, trying to convince the citizens to stage a coup. Though why he thinks that would work when Rhys or Feyre alone would be able to shut it down, I don't know. Just... He's being a pain in my ass!"
"I'm sorry, Mor. Isn't there anything that Feyre or Rhys would be able to do? Or maybe... Maybe remove him from power, imprison him for attempting to overthrow their rule?" You suggested, then took a bite of the seafood pasta- absolutely delicious, the creamy sauce complimenting the scallops, shrimp, and shellfish well, the pasta tender.
"I've tried telling them that it may be the only way forward, but they don't seem to understand how bad it's gotten as of late. Azriel's been busy in Autumn or Illyria for the past few months, and Cassian's been monitoring Windhaven specifically as of late. And Feyre is pregnant, meaning Rhys is unlikely to send her to the Hewn City without him, which would leave only Amren in Velaris. So..." Mor took a dejected bite of a breadstick.
"So you're stuck there?"
"Pretty much," she sighed. "Though I made Rhys promise to give me at least one day off every week, so I'll be able to come back home, and I'll be able to see you!"
You smiled. "Good, I'm glad. I missed you a lot over this last month, Mor."
Mor's expression matched your own. "I missed you too, sweets. Now... Tell me how everything's been going with you?"
It was your turn to sigh after you swallowed your bite of spaghetti- also delicious, with the slightly spicy sauce and meatballs.
"Things have been... They're looking up now. Now that I've moved out, at least. And working has been really nice. Things around the River House... Besides Azriel, they've been really tough for me. Nesta and Elain... They make me so uncomfortable, and they hate me for no reason. At least, that's what it feels like. And Feyre doesn't seem to care, either..." You shoved another bite of food into your mouth, letting the flavor soothe your pain.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I really thought that Feyre would have tried to make them stop, especially after how rude they were dress shopping for Starfall," Mor said. "But I'm glad to here that things are looking up for you- And that Azriel has been sweet. And working at Sevenda's! You've done amazingly for yourself, love, all on your own. If..." Mor paused, considering her words. "If you decided to not have them in your life anymore, I wouldn't blame you. Feyre I would give another chance, but Nesta and Elain... They're taking their anger about their own situation out on you, I think. And that's unforgivable, seeing as they know how much it's hurt you."
Tears had welled in your eyes at her words, at how well she understood your feelings. "Thank you, Mor," you managed to choke out before the tears fell.
"Oh, sweets... Come here," Mor said, standing from her chair and pulling you up and into her arms, squeezing you tightly, a hand stroking your hair soothingly. "How about we do a face mask and eat chocolate? Does that sound good?" Mor asked after a while, pulling away from you a bit. You nodded your head, not trusting your voice quite yet.
"Let's do it, then."
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The next morning was lazy, with you and Mor sleeping in and laying in bed for an hour, talking about everything and nothing. You felt like you were sharing hushed secrets together, like you had so long ago with Feyre when the both of you laid awake at night, your other sisters sleeping the night away as the two of you dreamed of a life you wanted to live, not just an existence of scraping by.
Eventually, you were dragged from the cocoon of your bed by your bladder, and after you had washed your hands you jumped on the bed, right on Mor.
"It's time to get up," you sang as you laid on top of your friend, giggling when she half-heartedly tried to push you off of her. "You said you wanted to go couch shopping, right?"
"Yes, but not this early," Mor groaned beneath you.
"If you want any chance of paying for it, you've got to get up now!"
"Okay, okay! You've convinced me, you're impossible to give things to unless I've already bought them," Mor laughed, and this time you let her push you off of her- not that you doubted her ability to do it if she truly wanted to. The two of you made your way into the bathroom, going through the steps of washing and moisturizing your faces. "We're stopping for breakfast in a café, though, I'm dying to have a muffin and some coffee."
"That's fine by me Mor," you laughed. "You can change in here, I'll change in the main room."
"Okay, just let me know when you're dressed so I don't accidentally peek on you," Mor said after she had grabbed her bag and returned to the bathroom. That left you to quickly strip out of your nightgown, down to your underwear. You slipped on a simple peach brassiere and into a clean, black woolen dress, in a similarly modest fashion to the one you had worn yesterday.
"You can come out, Mor," you called out, and a moment later the bathroom door swung open.
"Let's get going, I'm starving," Mor complained as the two of you slipped on your boots and outerwear, you of course wearing all of the items Azriel had bought for you. "Oo, I like these," Mor said, stroking the cape with an ungloved hand. "Did you buy it recently?"
A blush spread over your cheeks against your will. "Oh, uhm. Azriel gave the set to me, for Solstice."
A smile spread across Mor's face. "Oh? Azriel bought it for you?" Mor asked.
Your cheeks heated further at her actual question. "It's not like that, he's just being nice..." You mumbled.
"And what if he wasn't?"
You blinked at Mor for a moment, dumbstruck by her suggestion before you laughed. "No, no. I don't... That's not a possibility, Mor."
Mor shook her head. "But you want it to be- and it is. Any male or female would be lucky to have you, Y/N," Mor said gently, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Now. Let's go get breakfast."
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Three hours later, you and Mor were carrying a couch through the snow covered streets of Velaris, the legs dragging through the white powder. Its pink velvet fabric was a near match to the chair you had already bought, and had a low enough back to allow winged individuals to sit comfortably.
Not that you'd taken that too much into account, it was just a nice benefit for when Azriel came to visit.
Which he would be, tonight. The two of you had agreed to have dinner tonight, as your way of repaying him for your bed. It was the one night he would be in town this week, and since you had the day off it had seemed to work perfectly.
Mor was going out with some friends tonight at Rita's, an activity that you were fine not being involved in, and she had to return to the Hewn City early in the morning.
The two of you said goodbye in the late afternoon, a long hug and promises to coordinate time together and write to each other- you would even attempt to tell her about your week, if you were able.
You spent the time before Azriel turned up cleaning your apartment some, washing the dishes that you and Mor had used last night and putting away the gifts she had given you.
Then? You collapsed on the couch, a blanket spread over you as you enjoyed how soft the cushions were.
A shadow tangled in your hair moments before a knock landed on your door, and you shook your head at the silly little thing.
"Hello, Azriel," you said as you opened the door, face to face with the Shadowsinger, a round, covered dish in his hands. His shadows seemed antsier than usual, a few of them breaking away to swirl around your feet, a tiny smile creeping onto your lips.
His eyes tracked them, tightening for a moment before they met yours, hazel softening as he looked at you. "Good evening, Y/N."
Your smile grew. "Come in, you need to choose a recipe so that we can go shopping," you said brightly as you opened the door further, letting him into your apartment. "You didn't need to bring anything, you know."
"Thank you. I just brought dessert, and it was my pleasure. And I'd be happy to have anything you make, Y/N," Azriel said as he followed you into the kitchen, where you had two of your cookbooks set out on the counter. The ones that Nesta and Feyre had gifted you. He set the dish to the left of them, and you were tempted to peel back the foil covering it.
"None of that, you're going to choose a recipe that you want," you demanded, fully aware that you are being more assertive than you'd been with him... Well, ever.
But he seemed similar to you, in the way that you never liked to accept much of anything from others.
Azriel stared you down for a moment before sighing, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Okay. But you have to let me know if it's a recipe you wouldn't like," Azriel said firmly, waiting to open a cookbook until you had nodded your agreement. "Good."
He flicked through the pages until he settled on a dish you both thought sounded good- chicken and dumplings. "It was my favorite when I was younger," Azriel confessed as the two of you walked to the Palace of Hoof and Leaf, his shadows clearing your path as they had taken to doing over the past month.
"I can't imagine you younger, somehow," you giggled as you looked up at him, trying to imagine him as a gangly teenager. But the image never came, leaving you staring at the very masculine male next to you.
Azriel let out an amused snort. "That's fine by me, I was... I was awkward, back then. But, so were my brothers."
"You? Awkward?" You shook your head. "I don't buy it. You're too calm, all the time."
"That's now. Back then I was a nervous wreck," Azriel admitted, rubbing the back of his head.
"Well, if you're ever nervous now, you do an amazing job of hiding it," you said as you picked out the vegetables you would need, handing over your bank card to the stall owner for a moment, thanking them as you left. The vegetables were placed into the cloth bag you had brought with you, which Azriel plucked from your arms despite your protest.
"If you're paying for everything and cooking, the least you can let me do is carry the ingredients," he insisted. "Now, what else do we need?"
You looked down at your list, squinting at the poorly printed ingredients that you had written down before leaving. "Uh... Chicken, obviously."
"Right. There's a butcher shop just a few stalls down," Azriel said, leading you gently with a hand on the small of your back.
The intimacy of his touch made your breath stutter for a moment, before you reminded yourself that Azriel is your friend, nothing more.
Shopping flew by, easy, light conversation flowing between the two of you while you were in the outdoors.
Azriel carried everything for you, prying every item out of your hands after you had paid for it. But you didn't feel patronized by it, rather... You felt touched, that he wanted to carry the groceries back to your apartment, that he wanted to help out in some way. It was nice.
His helping hands attempted to extended into the kitchen, at which point you fixed him with your toughest stare, demanding that he stayed still.
"Just sit there and let me cook! Enjoy your wine!" You said to him as you dropped the dumplings into the pot. "This is me repaying you for my bed in the one way you would let me- so let me!"
Azriel sighed, but you could almost hear the smile he was wearing. "I cannot believe my shadows are siding with you."
"What?" You asked, turning away from the pot to stare at him, laughing at the sight you were met with. "Oh my- that's hilarious!" You giggled at seeing Azriel, covered in his own shadows as they held him to the chair, even lifting his glass of wine up for him.
"So you say, I find mutiny much less amusing," Azriel said, shaking his head with a smile on his face. "It smells amazing, Y/N."
Your smile grew, nose scrunching at his words. "Thank you, it should only be a few more minutes."
"I'm fine right here, no matter how long it takes."
🤍💞💙💞🤍
Azriel had left your apartment near eight in the evening last night, after he had insisted upon doing the dishes, of course. Dinner had been such a pleasant affair, with Azriel telling you about his work in Autumn and Illyria, and you talking about the small dramas of your fellow kitchen staff.
You could confidently say that you were friends now. Even better, you had gotten Azriel to agree to have dinner with you when he had a rare evening in town that wasn't taken up by court matters or inner circle dinners, though it hadn't been tough to convince the male. The next time you would see him would likely be on Saturday, though he had promised to send a note with one of his shadows if something came up.
Currently though, you were at work, nestled between Josi and Torma.
You'd woken up with an ominous feeling pooling deep in your stomach, one that you still hadn't shaken. But, you'd gotten yourself out of bed and to work; for that, you were proud.
Josi and Torma were going back and forth about where they should go for drinks that night.
"I think we should go to Rita's. Then we can dance!" Josi said excitedly, even doing a little jig, bumping her hip lightly into yours which drew a giggle from you. "See! Y/N thinks it's fun!"
"Dancing would be fun, that's true Josi. But I'm feeling more like sitting and talking a bit tonight, which is why Blue Bar would be a much better choice," Torma explained, giving Josi her best puppy dog eyes as she looked over your head.
Josi sighed. "What if Y/N comes dancing with us? Would you go to Rita's then?"
Your eyes widened at the suggestion. "I don't think-"
"Oh, please Y/N?" Torma begged, setting down her knife and putting her palms together. "Please please please? You haven't gone out with us yet!"
You scrunched your face at the idea. Drinking, dancing, and being near so many people... Was not your idea of a relaxing evening. "I'm not sure... I don't really drink," you said quietly.
"But you don't have to drink! You can just watch us be silly and bad at dancing," Josi enthused, setting down her own knife. "Come ooon, you know you want to see us make fools of ourselves!"
The thought of them stumbling around together on a dance floor did bring a smile to your face. "As long as you guys don't abandon me," you decided, your words resulting in enthusiastic high fives from your coworkers, only making you smile wider.
"Yes! Okay, we can either pick you up from your apartment at seven, or you can meet us at Rita's at the same time," Josi said.
"Uhh... Pick me up from my apartment, I think. Otherwise I might just stay home," you admitted sheepishly.
"Then we'll pick you up at seven o'clock sharp," Torma declared.
The rest of your shift passed quickly, with you leaving around five. You bid goodbye to your coworkers, promising them that you would be ready and enthusiastically awaiting their arrival in two hours.
You walked home, enjoying the slightly warmer weather that Velaris was having today. The sun was shining brightly, even as it began its descent below the horizon.
Still, even the lovely weather couldn't shake the feeling in your bones that something unexpected would happen today, good or bad.
And you were proven right when you arrived to your building, Feyre standing outside of the locked door, looking...
Angry.
Furious.
Your heart picked up in your chest, beating rapidly as you tried to assess why she would be angry... The only reason you could come up with was, well... Why you were standing outside of an apartment building.
"Hello, Feyre," you said, as neutrally as you could with your heart hammering in your chest.
"Y/N," Feyre said coldly, her hands pointing to the doorknob. "Let me in?"
Your brows scrunched together, but you unlocked the door, letting Feyre pass through before you. You led her upstairs, pausing before your door. Should you let her in...? You sighed and unlocked the door, allowing Feyre to enter your apartment. Your safe space.
You only hoped it continue to feel that way, after this visit.
"So... You moved out without telling me? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? How worried I've been?!" Feyre growled at you once the door was shut behind you.
"Worried?" You asked with a mirthless chuckle. "You've been worried? I was gone for a week, Feyre! A week, and you couldn't be bothered to notice until Mor did!" You yelled at her, your own anger at your situation bubbling up. "Besides, it's not like I could leave the fucking city without your approval anyways, so what do you have to be worried about?! That I'm making my own life, with people who actually care about me?!" Feyre opened her mouth to respond, but you didn't give her the chance. "I felt like nothing but a burden, an annoyance in that house," you hissed. "And if you had actually cared about me, you would've noticed I moved out last Wednesday. And you would've noticed when I got a job. And you would have remembered that I cannot. Read." Tears filled your eyes as you brought up that little tidbit, the sting of it fresh whenever you thought of it. Water had begun pooling in Feyre's eyes, and you knew that if she spoke you would forgive her, even if you didn't want to. "Now get out, Feyre, unless you've decided that my apartment is now your property as well. Come back when you actually realize why I moved out," you said coldly as you opened the door, staring expectantly at her.
She did as you asked, passing through the doorway mere minutes after she entered. Feyre turned to you, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "I do care for you, Y/N. But you've got to stop acting like living at the River House was torture."
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, slamming the door in her face and locking it tightly.
Not that it would stop her, if she really wanted in...
You spent the rest of your time before your coworkers showed up curled in your bed, pillows piled around you and blanket pulled over your head. It was only when you peeked at the clock and saw it was ten to seven that you pulled yourself from your cocoon.
Hair brushed out and a small amount of eyeliner and pale pink rouge and lipstick applied, you quickly changed into a different dress. Your cozy black cotton dress was changed to a flowing, sapphire blue silk gown. The sleeves were loose, wider once they met your forearms, and the modest cut and floor length skirts left you feeling secure and covered. You felt pretty in it, one of the few nicer gowns you had taken from your closet in the River House.
You had just pulled on your boots and cloak when a knock fell on your door, Josi and Torma waiting outside.
"How did you get in the building?" You asked with a laugh as you locked up.
"Well, one of the other tenants had just walked in when we arrived, so we slipped inside!" Josi explained, locking arms with you as the three of you left the building.
"Ahh, that explains it."
"Yes. Now, let's get to Rita's! It's cold as balls out here," Torma groaned, taking your other arm and dragging the two of you along faster.
The air in Rita's was hot, a welcome reprieve from the winter chill outside. Josi went to order drinks for the three of you, while Torma led you over to a booth in the back of the bar.
The two of you had just settled in when Josi came back, four drinks in her hands. She set two in front of you, one was water, the other was pink and sparkling, smelling of strawberries and a hint of alcohol.
"I know you said you don't drink, but I thought I would get you something just in case! I had the bartender make it less strong for you. And if you don't have it, I'll drink it anyways," Josi giggled as she slid into the booth next to you, already sipping her own drink.
Normally you wouldn't have dared to touch alcohol, but your conversation with Feyre earlier... You could use a distraction. And, you were with your trusted coworkers.
You took a small sip of the drink, delighted at the way the liquid was fizzing in your mouth. It tasted as it smelled, primarily of strawberries with the slightest hint of alcohol- champagne, you thought.
"Thank you, Josi, it's delicious."
"I'm glad you like it! Oh- Torma, we have to dance to this one!" Josi squealed, setting her drink down and sliding out of the booth, pulling Torma along with her.
You watched them dance, sillier with each song as Josi had said they would, sipping your drink. You started feeling light, tipsy like you had at the one party you'd drank at, when you still lived in the human lands.
Maybe that was why you hadn't noticed him, until he was standing directly in front of you, wings tucked in behind him.
"Oh- hi, Azriel," you said quietly, a flush on your cheeks as you smiled at him.
"Hello, Y/N. I didn't expect to see you here," Azriel replied, sliding into the booth across from you. "You look like you're having a nice time."
You bobbed your head to the beat of the music. "I am. Josi and Torma convinced me to come out tonight. And I am glad they did, otherwise Feyre would have ruined my day," you giggled, the sting from your interaction with her not present with the alcohol running through your veins.
"You spoke with Feyre?" Azriel asked, a curious look on his face.
You sighed heavily and took another small sip of your drink. "Yeah, she was at my place when I got off work, and was mad that I moved out without saying anything. But really, it took her a week to notice!" You vented. "Not to mention she didn't even remember that I couldn't read... Nesta and Elain I understand since they hate me but..." you trailed off, a frown on your face.
One of Azriel's hands slid over your own, grasping it gently. "I'm sorry that you've been let down so thoroughly by your sisters, Y/N. I am happy to know that you're still living how you want, and making friends too."
You smiled dreamily at him. How was he so nice to you? "Thank you, Azriel. I'm glad that you're my friend, you're really nice."
Azriel smiled softly at you, his hazel eyes crinkling at the edges.
One of his shadows tangled itself in your hair, rubbing against your neck and drawing your eyes away from Azriel's. "Your shadows are so silly," you giggled, tickling the shadow with a finger.
"They seem to like you a lot," Azriel remarked, watching as more of his shadows nuzzled themselves against you. "By the way, I wanted to ask you if you're up for a surprise on Saturday, before we have dinner."
You blinked at him for a moment, your thoughts coming more slowly with what you'd drank. "Uhm... Is it a fun surprise? Or like... dragging me to a family dinner surprise?"
Azriel's lips pressed together, the corners of his mouth still tilting upwards. "A fun surprise, I promise. And if you don't like it, we can leave right away."
"Mm... Sure, I don't see why not," you said, trying to come up with what kind of surprise he would plan.
"Good," Azriel smiled. Josi and Torma had wandered back over to the table, fresh drinks for themselves in hand. "I'll let you spend time with your friends," he said, sliding out of the booth.
"Thank you for saying hi, Az," you said sweetly, smiling happily at him. "I'll see you on Saturday!"
Azriel nodded, a slight flush on his cheeks as he turned away, going back to whichever table he had been at.
"Oooh," Josi said from beside you, elbowing you gently in the side. "Someone has a crush on the Shadowsinger!"
You scrunched your face at her, but couldn't get the smile to slide off of your face. "No I don't," you whined.
"Oh yes you do," Torma joined in, poking your leg with a foot. "And I dare say he has one on you as well."
You blushed further at that idea, shaking your head. "No, no, we're just friends!" You insisted, but both of them gave you a knowing look.
"Uh-huh," Josi giggled from beside you. "Just let us know when you start dating, hmm?"
"It's not like that!" You giggled, gently slapping her on the arm. "It's not!"
Torma rolled her eyes playfully at you from across the booth. "Sure, Y/N. Now, do you want to dance with us?"
You looked out at the dance floor. You'd never been one for dancing, since you'd missed out on the years of lessons that Nesta and Elain had gotten. But...
You drained the rest of you drink, about a third of it, and scooted into Josi. "Let's go dance!"
🤍🤍💙🤍🤍
The next morning, you'd woken up with a slight hangover, which had been easily cured with a large glass of water, some dry toast, and a long bath.
Josi and Torma had grinned at you the whole day, talking about how they needed to take you out more often now.
You wouldn't say yes every time but... It had been nice spending time with them, and dancing had been more fun than you'd thought, with a bit of bubbly running through you.
The five days before you would see Azriel again- when you would know what surprise he had planned- passed by quickly at work, but dreadfully slow while you were alone at home.
You had taken to filling out the handwriting book that Mor had given you, your letters improving with every time you wrote them. And you felt you were nearing the point that you could attempt to read children's books, perhaps the book of fables that Rhysand had given to you for your birthday.
Feyre had yet to visit again, something you were grateful for. If she couldn't understand that being trapped and kept here like a forgotten pet, or worse, a chew toy for your sisters, was your problem? Then you didn't want to see her.
You were lonely while you weren't at work, but you could handle that. After all, you had time with Azriel after work today, and you and Mor were having another sleepover tomorrow night.
You had just started washing up to leave work when a shadow snuck into your hair, alerting you to Azriel's presence, likely in the dining room. You giggled at it, gently poking it with a wet finger before you dried off your hands. Sure enough, Azriel was stood in the dining room, talking with Sevenda in a hushed tone, both of them quieting when you walked through the curtain separating the kitchen from the front of house.
"Ah, Y/N! Someone came to pick you up," Sevenda said with a smile, winking at you when Azriel had his head turned.
You rolled your eyes at her, turning your attention to Azriel. "Come to take me to the surprise?"
"I am, in fact," Azriel nodded, extending a hand to you.
You took it without thinking, letting him lead you out of Sevenda's restaurant and into the snowscape of Velaris. His hands were soft, even with the scars that you knew covered them, and the calluses that you knew he should have, being a warrior and all.
His shadows were buzzing around the two of you excitedly, mirroring that of their master. Something about where you were going had Azriel as close to giddy as you could ever see him getting, a slight smile stuck to his face, his wings twitching every now and then.
Soon enough you came to a stop in front of a large building, various magical creatures painted onto the sign above the door.
Velaris... Animal... Shelter?
You blinked at the sign, confused. Surely you hadn't read that right.
"Come inside, I think you'll like it," Azriel said, gently tugging you into the building. Once inside, your ears were met with so many different sounds: meows, barks, bird trills, growls, hisses. There were a few rooms, all separated with glass walls and doors, filled to the brim with animals.
You were instantly drawn to the room housing felines- there were so. Many. Kittens!
"Oh my gods, can we go in?!" You asked Azriel, your face flushed from excitement and the cold as you met his hazel gaze.
"Of course we can, we just need to keep all of them inside the room." Azriel opened the door for you, letting you pass through first.
"Oh, they're so cute!" You squealed, approaching a pile of kittens, all conked out. You sat on the floor next to them, petting all of their fuzzy little heads and milk filled tummies, delighting in the squeaks they let out.
"This is an amazing surprise, Azriel," you told him once he sat down next to you, his wings drawing the attention of some of the active kittens.
"Being here isn't the only surprise," Azriel said. "If you'd like, you can take one home. I've already picked out some possible furniture you might like for the little one, if you decide to have one."
You gaped at him, completely shocked. "I can... I can take one home?" You asked, looking back at the kittens with new eyes. You could have a companion... Someone just for you.
"You can," Azriel said warmly, a smile on his lips when you looked back at him.
A grin spread across your face and your launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
His arms wrapped around you for a moment before you pulled away. "You're welcome, Y/N. I thought you might like to have a companion at home."
"Well you were right," you said giddily, turning back to the kittens. All of them were so adorable, so sweet while they were sleeping. But you would want one that was calmer while awake, matching your energy levels.
You and Azriel stayed in that room for two hours, playing with kittens and talking about what you'd both been up to over the past five days.
"The elections are heating up, and thankfully Rhys and Feyre sent me to the Hewn City to help protect the candidates going against the current leaders," Azriel told you as he let four kittens climb over him, even onto his shoulders and head. "Mor sends her love, by the way."
You smiled, both at the sight and the mention of your shared friend. "That's sweet of her, we get to have a night together tomorrow, which will be even more fun with my new little one," you said. "I still don't know which one I want, though."
"Take your time, you want to get one that you'll bond with well," Azriel suggested.
You looked around to room, trying to find any kittens that you hadn't interacted with yet. There, on one of the shelves... Mostly hidden behind a fluffy bed stuffed onto the shelf was a tiny kitten with glowing green eyes, her beautiful silvery coat shimmering even in the slight darkness of the shelf. You crawled over to her, extending a hand back to let her sniff. She hissed softly at you once, but let you run your fingers across her head, purring at the first touch.
Oh yes. This one.
She seemed slightly afraid of everything, hissing gently when you plucked her from her spot and cradled her in your arms. She was so tiny, and her fur was so soft and puffy, you wouldn't be surprised if she turned out to be a total fluff ball. Her tummy fur was the palest pink color, absolutely adorable. And her silvery fur had streaks of light tan running through it, along with slightly darker streaks of grey.
She was perfect. And the way her eyes closed as you pet her was so comforting to watch, you knew that you had found your fur child that you wanted to take home.
"I want her," you said to Azriel, tilting her in your arms so he could see her better. "She's so cute, and she seems nervous, like me."
Azriel laughed softly. "She's very cute, Y/N. Do you know what you'd want to name her?"
You looked down at her, trying to think of something that would suit her. At the same time, she let out the tiniest little squeak, that sounded like a soft 'eek.'
"M'aiq. Cause she's mine, and she made a little eek noise," you said, nodding your head at the name.
"M'aiq... That's a cute name for a cute little Starfall kitten."
"Starfall kitten?" You asked, wondering if that's why her eyes glowed green.
"Yes, every year, in the two months after Starfall, about one in every litter is born with a Starfall spirit inside of them. Or, at least, that's the explanation I've heard for why their eyes glow," Azriel explained, beginning to place the kittens that had climbed onto him back on the ground.
"Awe... You're even more special, my little M'aiq," you said cheerily, nuzzling your nose against hers.
Azriel led you out of the glass room and to the counter, where a fae took M'aiq and put her into a small carrier. He then led you into the shelter's store, where they had plenty of furniture, toys, and anything else you would need in stock.
You picked out a tall, carpeted structure that had a few platforms that M'aiq could rest on, as well as four different beds meant for small felines. A magically cleaning litter box and several food and water dishes also came home with you, as well as many, many toys.
His shadows sent everything to your apartment besides M'aiq in her little crate, which Azriel picked up for you. You tried to pry it out of his hands, but instead he slipped his free hand into yours and began leading you back to your apartment. Along the way you stopped in the Palace of Bone and Salt, picking up the things you would need for a simple pot roast dinner, seeing as you would be distracted for the rest of the evening.
Once you were inside the apartment, you immediately snagged M'aiq's crate from Azriel and pulled her out of it and into your arms.
"You're so cute," you cooed to her, petting her tiny head slowly.
You felt Azriel's eyes on you before you saw them, glancing up and smiling warmly at him. He looked away, the slightest blush on his face.
He is, too.
You placed M'aiq into one of the many cat beds now decorating your apartment, this one placed at the foot of your bed. "Stay there, sweetie, while I make dinner," you told her, her nervous green eyes on you. "I'll make you something, too, don't you worry."
Azriel was smiling softly at you when you turned to the kitchen, the expression making his face even more beautiful than normal.
You'd never understood how a male could be pretty, until now. But now you knew why Feyre called Rhysand the most beautiful male she had ever seen, because you thought that might be true of the winged male in currently in your kitchen.
"Did you need help with dinner?" He asked as you approached the bag of food he had placed on the counter.
"Hmm... I suppose since this isn't me paying you back for anything, you can help this time," you decided, setting out two cutting boards and handing him a knife. "Cut the potatoes into halves then quarter the halves, slice the carrots half an inch thick, and the onions into eighths please."
Azriel nodded and began rinsing the potatoes and carrots, while you grabbed some chicken from your cold box, dicing it after you started a flame under a pan with a bit of oil in it.
You balanced cooking the chicken for M'aiq and braising the roast while Azriel cut all of the vegetables, finishing at the perfect time, right when you needed them all to be added to the pot.
Azriel took over seasoning the roast while you fed M'aiq for the first time, grinning from ear to ear as you watched her devour half of the chicken that you had cooked for her. You'd get the portions down in no time.
With the roast in the oven, you and Azriel relaxed on the couch for a while, M'aiq in your lap.
After a little bit, Azriel had his shadows bring him a few reports after he made sure you would be okay with it, quietly filling them out with the scratch of his quill on the paper.
You decided, since you had tipsily told him that you were illiterate at Rita's anyways, that you would work on your handwriting in the book Mor had given you again, fighting the blush that had overtaken your cheeks.
But he said nothing about what you were doing, only giving you one curious glance before returning to his own work.
He was thoughtful like that. He thought about what would make you uncomfortable.
Your heart thumped in your chest at the feelings you were developing, ones that you had been fighting so hard to keep at bay.
But you were failing.
You were failing because this sweet, caring, thoughtful male did nothing but make your life brighter, Shadowsinger or not.
Doing your best to keep your attention on your workbook, you passed the rest of the time until the roast was done in a comfortable silence, the scratching of quills, crackling of logs, and M'aiq's soft purrs the only sounds in your ears.
Azriel checked the roast for you, after you had complained about having to move M'aiq when she was so comfortable and sleeping... And then he brought a bowl over to you along with a napkin, eating his own on the couch as well.
You felt so comfortable near him, even sitting so close, unaccompanied by anyone else. Two and half years ago you would have balked at the idea, the impropriety of it. But Azriel had been nothing but gentlemanly toward you, even when he had flown you up to the House of Wind.
And really... You would never be the whore that Nesta claimed you to be, after all you had never even been kissed in your twenty years of life, let alone had relations with someone. Just the thought of that sent anxiety through you. No, you would not have sex with someone until you were married, as you had been raised to do. You even... You even found it romantic, to save yourself for your future spouse.
So, being alone in your apartment with Azriel? That was an impropriety you were willing to overlook.
Azriel left your apartment near eleven at night, having spent extra time with you while you helped M'aiq settle in to her new home.
When you shut the door behind him, your heart fluttering from his presence, and now absence.
You turned your attention down to the fluffy ball in your arms. "What do you say, M'aiq? Are you ready for bed?"
Her soft squeak was enough of an answer for you. You settled her on the bed, next to your pillow while you washed your face and dressed for bed.
You laid down next to her, covers pulled up to your shoulders, with a hand poking out so you could pet her as you went to bed.
You didn't feel quite so lonely, laying in the dark now.
🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍
As soon as you exited work, you were assaulted by way of an aggressive hug from a bouncy blonde. Mor swung you around, giggling.
"I'm so excited to see you!" Mor yelled, squeezing you tightly.
"I'm excited to see you too, Mor!" You giggled after she set you on your feet again. "So, what's the schedule like for tomorrow?"
"Well," Mor started as the two of you began walking to your apartment. "I have to be back in the Hewn City by noon, and... I have a family dinner to go to tonight," Mor said with a sigh. "So I won't be with you for dinner, but I'm planning to book it out of there and have dessert with you!"
You nodded in understanding. "That's fine, Mor, but you should come to my apartment first! I have something to show you."
"Oh?" Mor asked, quirking a brow at you. "What is it?"
"If I told you now, it wouldn't have the same effect!" You insisted as you let her into your building, following her up the stairs. Your door swung open, and you heard the skitter of claws on wood. "Oops, I think the door spooked her."
"Her?" Mor asked, looking around before her eyes locked the far wall. "She's under the bed."
"Oh, M'aiq!" You called as you pulled off your boots before crawling next to the bed. "Come on out, sweetie, Mor is your friend," you said softly, rubbing your fingers together to draw her out. No luck, though, especially when Mor kneeled down to peer under the bed. M'aiq actually hissed at her, spitting and everything. You hated that she was distressed but... She was so cute.
"Awe, she's adorable!" Mor whispered. "And she's a Starfall kitten, oh that's so sweet. You know, they tend to bond strongly to their owners, some are even able to communicate with them. Not talking," Mor giggled when you gave her a wide eyed look. "More like... Their emotions can be shared with you, similar to daemati, but it's just a connection between them and their person. Maybe your little M'aiq will do the same."
You looked back to her, where she was now sitting, pressed tightly against the wall but no longer hissing. "That would be so cool," you whispered.
Four hours later and Mor was back in your apartment, lounging on your bed with you, M'aiq laying inbetween.
"So, besides the kitten, what else is new?" Mor asked you, popping a chocolate into her mouth a moment later.
"Well..." You blushed. "I... I like Azriel..."
Mor grinned at you. "I knew you would! And honestly, I don't see why he wouldn't like you. The two of you are so well suited for each other."
You shook your head. "I don't think so Mor, I'm... I'm human," you whispered, your eyes stinging.
"And what does that have to do with anything?" Mor asked seriously, tilting your chin back up so you would look at her. "So, you're human. Why does that matter?"
"Well, because... Because I won't be around for long, and it's cruel to shackle someone to me when I'll be old and grey in such a short time," you admitted, finally giving voice to your doubts.
"Who says you'll get old and grey?" Mor asked. "Maybe there's a way for you to not age, we just haven't found it yet. And besides, it's Azriel's choice if he decides to pursue you, he would know the possible outcomes. You deserve to be happy, Y/N," Mor said softly, her own eyes shining with tears. "I know that you're stuck here, and you would prefer to be in the human lands, but you still deserve to have happiness here, and if that means having a partner? Then that's what you should do, sweets."
You sniffled at her words, willing your tears to not fall as you stroked M'aiq. "Maybe... Maybe you're right... But I still don't think he likes me in that way," you said quietly.
"Well, I think what you think is wrong. I've never seen Azriel smile as much as he does when he's with you," Mor giggled, causing you to do the same. "And the two of you look so cute together!"
"Mor, stop," you laughed. "I don't want to get my hopes up..."
"Okay, okay. I'm just saying..."
You scrunched your nose at her. "Different topic. Tell me how things have been going with the election?"
"Well..."
🤍💙💘💙🤍
Friday night you and Azriel had planned to spend the evening together, but you were surprised to see him on Wednesday evening, after knocking on your apartment door.
"Hello, Azriel," you greeted. "What are you doing here?" Your eyes darted down, seeing his shadows swirling around his legs, a few darting out to brush against your legs. But more interesting was the box in his hand, pink with a matching ribbon tied in a cute little bow wrapped around it.
"I, uhm-" Azriel stammered for a moment before taking a breath. "I came here today because I want to ask you on a date, Y/N."
Your breath caught in your throat, your heart stopping. "I- what?"
Azriel's mouth tilted up in the corners. "I want to take you out on a date. I want to spend time with you, have a chance to court you. I like you, Y/N. And I was thinking we could go out for dinner on Friday night, if you decide to say yes."
Your brain short circuited. He- he likes you?
"I- Is this a joke?" You asked in a small voice, your heart bracing for the answer you were dreading.
Azriel's eyes saddened for a moment, his hands twitching where they were holding the box. "No, Y/N, I would never joke about this. I like you, very, very much. And I would very much like it if you joined me for dinner Friday night at seven," Azriel said softly, his eyes locked on yours. They shone with nothing but the truth, soothing your worries and sending heat to your cheeks.
A small smile slid onto your lips. "I... I'd like that very much, as well."
Azriel's smile at your words set your heart ablaze, the fire of your feelings stoked by the knowledge that he shared them as well. "Good, good. This is for you," Azriel said, placing the box into your hands once you held them out, his fingers brushing against yours. Just that little touch sent flutters through you, your blush deepening. "It's Elain's recipe, the white chocolate raspberry cake that you love," he explained. "I thought, even if you did not share my feelings, that you might like something sweet anyways," Azriel admitted, rubbing a hand against the back of his head.
"Thank you, Azriel," you said softly, touched that he would still care for you, even if you'd rejected him. "I'll... I'll see you at seven on Friday?" You asked shyly, still in disbelief.
"I'll see you then, Y/N," Azriel said, raising one of your hands and pressing his lips to the back of it. "Sleep well, dear."
Your heart thumped in your chest, hard enough you thought it might beat out of your chest. "You too," you said quietly, watching as he smiled once more at you, before disappearing down the stairs.
You shut the door, leaning against it after you locked it.
Had that really just happened?
Your eyes drifted down to the box in your hands, proof that Azriel had visited, had brought you it, had... Had...
Oh gods, you had no idea of what to do for a first date!
You set the box on a kitchen counter, opening it to see an adorable, heart shaped cake, decorated with pretty pink swirls of icing. It made you giddy, knowing that the cake was a present from a suitor. From Azriel. You cut a slice for yourself and grabbed a fork, taking the plate over to the table.
The cake was as delicious as you remembered, and M'aiq jumped onto the chair next to you, watching as you ate.
"If only you could give dating advice, little cutie," you mused, having another bite. No, you'd have to go see Mor for help.
🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍
The next morning, you knew that Mor was in town, visiting the River House to give a report on the upcoming elections to Rhys and Feyre- early, too, before you started your work day.
You bundled up early, your nerves getting the better of you. You needed her advice, and you needed it before Friday. Which meant this morning was your only option, even if it meant going to the River House...
You entered your former home, filled with anxiety. There was no way to tell how this would go, given your last encounter with Feyre, but you were determined to get what you needed, and that was a conversation with Mor.
Luckily for you, she, Feyre and Rhys were sat at the dining table, having breakfast. Mor was chugging coffee until she saw you, setting her cup down and rushing out of her chair.
"Oh, Y/N! I'm so happy to see you!"
"I am too, Mor, I was-" You looked at Rhys and Feyre. "I was hoping I could talk to you, if that's alright?" You asked nervously.
Mor glanced back at the two of them before nodding. "That's fine, sweets, what did you need?"
"Uhh... Can we go outside, to talk?" Mor nodded and followed you to the front door, slipping on her coat before leaving the warmth of the River House. You walked a little bit away before talking, you didn't want anyone besides Mor to know. "Okay, so... Remember how you said that Azriel might like me...?"
"Oh mother!" Mor exclaimed. "He asked you out, didn't he?!"
You blushed and nodded your head. "Yes, last night, and for tomorrow night. But I- I've never been on a date before," you confessed, wringing your mittened hands together. "I don't know what to do, I don't know what's expected. I've never- I've never even been kissed!"
Mor placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Oh, hon! Nothing will be expected except for you to give it an honest try, and to be yourself! And as for never being kissed, I could change that," Mor offered, wiggling her eyebrows at you.
You swatted her arm, shaking your head at her. "You're very pretty, Mor, but I don't like you that way," you giggled. "But... But what if he... What if he doesn't understand that I'm... saving myself," you whispered, "For marriage?"
"Y/N, if Azriel is in any way demanding sex from you, then he doesn't deserve you. I also don't think Azriel is that kind of male, he seems like a true gentlemale, in my opinion."
Her words soothed the anxieties in your chest, calming you down. "I don't think he would either," you said shyly. "But I... I also don't know what to wear."
Mor's eyes lit up even more, and she clapped her hands together. "Oh, oh! We can go shopping when you get off work today! I'll make sure I can stay in town until eight tonight, okay? And I'll see if I can come over tomorrow evening before you leave and help you get ready, if you'd like?" Mor asked.
"Really, Mor? That would be lovely," you said, hugging your friend. She squeezed you back. "Thank you, I'll see you at five, yes?"
"Yes you will, sweets. Now, you get to work, and I'll get back to that meeting. See you later!" Mor said with a wave, turning around the way you came.
Your shift passed incredibly slowly, your mind drifting to every way that the date could go right- and also wrong. You had nearly driven yourself crazy by the time you had washed up and left the building, Mor waiting by the door with two steaming cups of tea in each hand.
"Let's get shopping, sweets!" Mor said brightly, handing a tea to you and leading you to a dress store in the Palace of Thread and Jewels. It was a different one than you had gone to for your Starfall dress, for which you were thankful.
Mor lead you through the store, showing you dress after dress in styles and colors that you loved. All the while, she gave you little tips of advice, most of them along the lines of "be yourself and know that he is just as if not more nervous than you are."
After trying on ten different dresses, you settled on a rose pink silk dress with a modest neckline and floor length skirts. The sleeves billowed out before coming in at your wrists, the silk laying across your body in a flattering fashion. You could safely say that your body had filled out over the past month, what with you eating a small lunch at work and having dinner most nights. Your curves were more pronounced, a bit closer to how you had been before being taken to Velaris.
Mor had also insisted on buying you heeled boots in a matching shade of pink, a gold heart buckle keeping the strap in place. They were cute enough that you didn't fight her on accepting them.
She walked you home, parting with a strong hug and a promise to come by a bit after you got off work tomorrow.
But for tonight? You had another slice of cake, then snuggled up with M'aiq under the covers, using her purrs to chase away your racing thoughts.
🤍💙🤍💙🤍
"You look gorgeous, Y/N!" Mor squealed as she stood back, having put the finishing touches on your makeup. "What do you think?"
You looked in the mirror, taking in the very light blush on your cheeks, the softly glittering pale pink eyeshadow on your lids, brown eyeliner complimenting your eyes, making them look even softer than normal.
"I agree! You do an amazing job every time, Mor," you praised, standing to hug your friend tightly. "Thank you so much for helping me get ready, today and yesterday."
"Oh, sweets, it's no trouble at all! In fact, it's been so long since my own first date that it's bringing back this memories, how fluttery your stomach gets when you see them..." Mor sighed happily. "Well, I should get going, otherwise Keir will riot."
"When are the elections over, again?" You asked as you walked her to the door.
"In two weeks, thank the mother," Mor groaned. "Then I get a nice, long vacation for three weeks."
"Just two more weeks, you can do it!" You encouraged, wishing there was something you could do to make it shorter.
"Yes, I know... And you had better tell me everything that happens tonight!"
You giggled at her words. "I will, Mor!"
"Everything!" Mor yelled as she went down the stairs.
You shut the door looking at the clock. Half past six. That was plenty of time for you to feed M'aiq her dinner and get dressed. And luckily for you, cooking something would keep your mind occupied enough to not panic about Azriel's impending arrival.
Your little child was fed and your dress pulled onto your body, pink boots slid onto your feet. All you had left to put on was your cloak, mittens and scarf, but that could wait until right before you left. Five minutes passed dreadfully slowly, and at 6:57 you pulled on your winter gear and descended the stairs after saying goodbye to M'aiq.
Waiting for you just outside the building door was Azriel, a bouquet of roses- red, lavender and white- in his hands.
"Hi, Azriel," you said, a blush instantly coming to your cheeks at the sight of him in a fine black shirt and pants, a change from his normal Illyrian leathers. The shirt clearly showcased his physique, something that you could appreciate. He had no knife belt on him tonight, his waist looked a bit barren without it.
"Good evening, Y/N." He pressed a kiss to the back of your mittened hand before pressing the bouquet into your hands. "I thought you might like some flowers," he said with a small smile, one that you easily returned.
"I love flowers, and these are absolutely beautiful," you said, raising them to your face to smell them. "And they smell lovely as well."
"I'm glad to hear it. Would you like to take them upstairs, or my shadows can, if you'd like?"
You bit your lip. If you went back upstairs... You might chicken out. "If your shadows could take them, that would be nice." In the next moment, the bouquet was out of your hands, whisked away by his shadows to the vase in your apartment. "So, where are we going for dinner?" You asked, locking your arm with his after he held it out, your hand holding onto his muscled forearm.
"It's an Illyrian restaurant, I helped the owner and his cousin leave the camps sixty or so years ago, and I've found that, except for your cooking, it's my favorite restaurant in all Velaris," Azriel explained as you strolled towards the Palace of Thread and Jewels.
"Really? That's so amazing, that you're part of the reason their dreams came true," you said, even more enamored with the male beside you. "You're going to have to recommend things to me, I wouldn't know where to start," you giggled.
Azriel smiled down at you. "How about we share a couple of dishes? That way you can try whichever ones catch your eye."
You met his eyes, a smile on your own lips. "That sounds perfect, Azriel."
His eyes sparkled as he opened a door for you, a hand on your lower back guiding you through, sending a renewed flush to your face.
You were seated a moment later, in a cozy booth near the back of the restaurant, two menus placed on the table. Azriel ordered a pot of tea for the two of you to share, which warmed your heart.
He already knew you so well.
"Now, what sounds good to you, dear?" Azriel asked, the pet name sending your heart into overdrive.
You looked down at the menu, but with your excitement and still somewhat illiterate eyes, you were lost. You bit your lip for a moment before deciding what to do. "What if you order your favorites, because I am overwhelmed by choice?" You asked, relieved when Azriel nodded his head.
"That would be their beef stew, made with Illyria native vegetables and their roasted Illyrian trout with roasted vegetables. Do those sound good?" Azriel asked. You nodded your head- both of those sounded fantastic, and you were excited to see what he enjoyed most.
When the server returned with your tea, Azriel ordered the food before returning his attention to you, the weight of it making your breath catch in your throat.
"So..." You started, entirely unsure of what to say.
"I'm glad you decided to come out with me," Azriel said, his eyes soft as they met yours.
"I am too," you said shyly. "I'm still... Shocked that you asked me to come out, though."
A soft frown slipped onto Azriel's face, and you wanted nothing more than to wipe it away. "Really? I'd thought..." Azriel's own face heated a bit. "I thought that I was rather obvious with my affections. I might be the spymaster of this court, but I'm woefully inept at hiding my own feelings, at least... When it comes to you," He admitted, voice low and gentle.
"So... We both like each other... And thought we were bad at hiding it?" You giggled.
"I suppose so," Azriel chuckled. "But truly, I am very happy that you're here tonight, with me. Now, tell me- How is M'aiq settling in?"
Now that was a subject that you could go on and on about, with only having her for a week now.
You had covered how she was doing wonderfully at your place by the time your food arrived, with Azriel dishing your plate for you. The gesture made you smile, all the little ways he took care of you already.
The food was absolutely fantastic, flavor bursting along your tongue. Both of the dishes were spicy, but not so much that you couldn't handle it.
Conversation flowed between the two of you as you ate, just as it always did. You talked about your dreams for the future, the few that you did have at this point, your brain already working Azriel into them- not that you admitted that to Azriel, it was a bit early for those sentiments. Azriel told you a bit more about his upbringing, glossing over the parts of his life before he had befriended Rhysand and been taken in by his mother. You didn't pry, but you were a little curious to know every part of his story, everything that had shaped him into the male you cared for.
Soon enough you were stuffed full of warm, delicious food, the plates in front of you empty. More than that, you were filled with joy from Azriel's company, from how he clung to your every word.
He led you from the restaurant, his hand placed on your lower back once more, the warmth of it radiating through the fabric of your dress. You walked along the Sidra slowly, leaning your head against Azriel's arm, trusting him to keep you from falling.
You were almost halfway home when you heard the most beautiful music, coming from two musicians playing next to a bar, one with a violin and the other with a cello. You slowed your pace, Azriel's arm tightening around you as you did so. Listening for a moment, and gazing up at the brilliantly shining stars above you, you had an idea.
"Azriel, would you dance with me?" You asked him quietly, tilting your head to look at him.
His eyes met yours, a smile glowing within them as well as covering his lips. "I'd be honored, Y/N. So long as you call me Az."
You smiled brightly at him. "It's a deal, Az." You let him turn you in his arms, clasping your right hands together and placing a light hand on your waist. Your other hand came to rest on his shoulder, grasping it lightly.
The two of you swayed together in a small circle to the lovely music, the light of the stars shining down on you.
It was the date of your dreams, if you were being honest. Lovely conversation and food, and such a romantic partner, willing to dance in the snow with you because you asked.
So when you finally arrived at your apartment, you were a bit sad the date was ending. But more than anything, you were excited for everything that lay in the future for the two of you.
Azriel smiled down at you softly, his eyes warm despite the cold temperatures. His wings twitched behind him, just before he leaned in a bit.
"Can I kiss you?" He asked as one of his hands came to cup your cheek gently, so, incredibly gently.
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. He leaned in further, allowing you to close the last, tiny gap between your lips.
And when you did, you knew that you would never be the same. His lips were so soft against yours, so gentle and sweet that it stole your breath away.
Your mouth followed for a moment when he pulled away, your eyes fluttering open- you hadn't even realized you'd closed them.
"If it's fine by you, I'd like to see you when you get off work tomorrow," Azriel suggested softly, gaze flicking between your lips and eyes.
"I'd like that," you whispered into the space between you, the tilt of his lips more than worth having to speak so soon after such a life changing kiss.
"It's a date," Azriel said with a smile. "Goodnight, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Az," you breathed, unlocking the door of your building. He waited to leave until you were safely inside, the door locked behind you.
You just managed to get into your apartment before you collapsed against the door, overwhelmed by just how perfect the night had been. How perfect Az had been.
🤍💙💝💙🤍
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ALRIGHT, let’s keep it REAL for a second. You know the drill—you're on your phone, thinking, "I'll just scroll for a minute," but then one TikTok turns into 20, and before you know it, you’ve wasted an hour or two, and your to-do list is still staring at you, untouched. We’ve all been there. You didn’t even mean to procrastinate, but somehow, scrolling has become your default LIKE UR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. Now you’re sitting there, realizing you’ve literally accomplished nothing, and you’re feeling the pressure creeping up. The guilt sets in, and suddenly the task seems way bigger than it actually is. It’s like time got stolen from you, but the problem is, you let it happen. And that’s okay—we’ve all been there, but let’s talk about how we can stop this cycle and get back on track.So how do we actually break this HABIT and get YOUR SHIT TOGETHER ? First, time-blocking is a solid strategy. HEAR ME OUT Don’t think you need to study for hours straight. Start small—set a timer for 20-30 minutes where you focus only on your homework, then take a 5-10 minute break. You’ll be surprised how much you can get done in those short bursts, and the breaks will keep you from feeling burned out. NEEEXT get your phone out of your face SERIOUSLY, put THAT SHIT it in another room or at least out of reach while you’re working the temptation to check social media is too strong, and if you don’t see it, you won’t even remember it’s there. Also, let’s be honest, a lot of us scroll because we’re avoiding something. So, try this: break your tasks into super small chunks. Instead of saying “I need to finish this whole chapter,” say “I’ll do the first page, then the next,” and slowly build from there. Turn off notifications, too. If you know a text or Instagram notification is going to pull you away from your work, MUTE THAT SHIT ! Your friends and memes can wait. And finally, remember YOUR FUCKING DREAMS UR GOAAALS LIKE GUUURL U WANT TO BE A RICH WORK FOR IIIIT ..When you're tempted to procrastinate, think about why you're putting in the work. Whether it’s to feel less stressed or to actually enjoy your weekends because you’ve gotten stuff done, reminding yourself of your end goal helps you push through the urge to scroll. So yeah, it’s not about being perfect—just about taking small steps every day. You don’t need to be working 24/7, but get focused when you need to, and trust me, you’ll see the difference !
© bᥣoom >.<
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