#this was supposed to be posted on the first so yeah I'm late lol

[wyrtig]

[todayisafridaynight]

brother was talking to me about how if you almost die from an extreme-temperature-related incident then your body is just forever fucked towards that temperature and that's why i think kiryu and saejima are weak to ice. i dont know why aoki isn't like that too but ignore that statistic everything else tracks.

[no-naem]

100 Kayano KaeDays - Day 93

Happy New Year! ✨

[wordsarelife]

heyyy, I just saw your appeal for theodore nott requests, but I also saw in one of your posts that you have a lot to do lately and I don't want to annoy you or something, take your time ♡

My idea for something with theo would be detention with Umbridge (I know it's cliche, but let's ignore this fact) and the reader (fem!reader would be great, but you can choose) has to write something that really insults her and hurts her pride like "I must not open my filthy mouth" or "Nobody wants to be bothered by me" (wow that sounds a bit depressing but let's ignore this too). And maybe theo is in Umbridge's little investigation team but changes when he sees the cuts on reader's hand (does this even make sense?). And maybe a little bit of angst which ends in fluff?

But please don't stress yourself ♡

—you are in love

pairing: theo nott x reader

summary: after a lovely visit with umbridge, theo must prove that the words carved into your skin are the opposite of the truth

warnings: mentions of blood and a wound, a little graphic

note: i initially didn't want this to get all like 'who did this to you?' but i just threw my principles out of the window in the middle of writing lol!! i hope this is something in the direction of what you wished for!! also: i'm living for enzo, just thirdwheeling and living his best life lmao

you knew you didn't like the woman the moment she had entered the halls of the castle. but now your hate was as evident as ever. she was sitting across from your, sipping on her tea, while reading the papers and you had a single task to fulfill.

you had much rather used the quill to cut out her eyes-

"go on, dear" she smiled and you had the sudden need to throw up "start writing"

"i don't think-"

"that wasn't a question!" you looked down at the paper, reading the sentence you were supposed to write ten times. it didn't even make sense to you what kind of punishment this should be. but what you read hurt you and maybe that was just the punishment she was so proud of.

you raised the quill, tapping it into the ink. the quill flew out of your hand after the first word. pain flodded through your body. "what?" you whispered to yourself, as you noticed the first word of the sentence carving into your skin slowly. the blood escaped the wound and dripped down your finger.

"continue" umbridge said and you did as you were told.

whatever she had done to you in that room, was the worst kind of torture, especially because you were doing it to yourself, with no escape. you read the sentence on your hand over and over again, scrunching your eyes closed in the hope that it would disappear, but it didn't.

atleast it was in the palm, which didn't make it any less hurtful, but atleast you could hide it better that way.

"there you are!" theo said the moment you entered the common room

"hi y/n!" enzo waved from one of the couches

"hey" you said tiredly, making a beeline to your dorm.

"woah" theo stepped into your way "no chess?"

"not tonight, theo" you tried to escape his eyes

"is something wrong?" theo asked concerned "did something happen?"

"i'm just tired okay? i want to sleep" you clenched your hand together, trying to upkeep the lie. but you had unintentionally clenched your wounded hand. you winced in pain and a drop of blood hit the floor.

it was like slowmotion as theo, enzo and you all looked down.

"what the fuck" enzo stood up "is that blood?"

theo reached for your hand, but you pulled it back, causing more blood to drip.

"fuck, y/n" theo said "show me your hand"

"yeah" enzo agreed "whatever that is can't be normal" he leaned in to whisper at theo, but did it loud enough for your to hear as well "girls don't normally do that right?"

theo turned his head at enzo, sending him a look with raised eyebrows and then slowly shook his head. enzo nodded, turning back to you "show him, y/n"

you sighed, understanding that you couldn't escape them even if you tried. theo gently took your offered hand, rolling the cloak up and opening your hand. he was met with nothing short of a sea of blood, which flodded your whole hand, making it impossible to see any skin underneath.

theo was staring at your hand. "get me a towel or something, quick" he instructed enzo, who just gulped and nodded, looking like he was going to throw up, but he hurried off right away.

theo guided you to sit down.

"what happened?" he asked, but you didn't answer "i asked you something"

"i fell over" you said. you knew that if you said it was umbridge, theo might never believe you. there was no use in fighting a teacher. especially not when theo was working for her and definitely not if this was your punishment after simply talking during class.

"the fuck you did" theo shook his head. before you could argue, enzo reentered the room, with a towel and a whole roll of toilet paper in hand.

theo wrapped the towel around your hand. it quickly soaked up the blood. he opened it back up, to softly pat some toilet paper on your wound. you winced in pain.

you watched theo closely and you knew what question he would repeat any moment now. he opened his mouth, but before anything could come out, he halted.

"are those words?" he asked calmly. too calm.

you tried to drag your hand away, embarrassed what exact words had been carved into your skin, but theo was quicker.

"hold her arm" he instructed enzo. enzo took your arm with one hand, while he clasped the other over both mouth and nose.

"what are you doing?" theo asked irritated.

"it smells so bad" enzo said disgusted, tears in his eyes, while looking anywhere but your hand "and i don't want to throw up on her, then she'd be full of blood and puke"

"very wise decision making" you nodded "can't you just put a plaster on that and call it a day?" you asked theo. he shook his head, taking a new piece of the toilet paper and soaking up the rest of the blood. the wound was mostly dried now. the blood had been moved all around your hand and arm, but it was all dry aswell.

theo took off the toilet paper and his eyes flew over the words on your palm.

enzo, incapable of reading it quietly announced the words loudly "i will never be loved" he turned his head to look at you, eyes big. you kept your eyes on theo, waiting for his reaction.

theo just kept staring at your hand and you were more anxious than ever before. "theo?" enzo asked "what are we gonna do about it?"

"what are you gonna do?" you repeated "nothing! obviously. none of you will do anything, you hear me?"

"fuck that" theo said, making both enzo and you look at him.

"what?" you asked.

"tell me the name"

"no" theo was still keeping a close eye on your hand, before he looked up at your answer suddenly.

"tell me the name, y/n" he repeated "enzo and i will deal with it."

"yeah" enzo agreed "we're on the inquisitorial squad. we can at least take points from them"

theo noticed how you looked at your hand at that. a very obvious tell you should've hidden better. but theo was usually too smart for you to trick anyway.

"oh" he said, understanding what had happened "umbridge did it, didn't she?"

"umbridge?" enzo repeated confused "what did she do?"

"sometimes, you're so slow" theo rolled his eyes at enzo "umbridge hurt out girl" he turned back to you "she did that to you"

your lack of an answer was enough for him. "take her to madam pomfrey, enzo" theo stood up.

"where are you going?" you asked.

"i have to take care of something"

you watched him leave the common room. enzo just shrugged. "come on"

madam pomfrey had quickly wrapped your wound in some bandages, but not before putting on a special treatment, that would help to heal it faster.

you were staring at the ceiling, bored to death, when there was a sudden sound. "theo" you said surprised. "where is your badge?" you asked, noticing it missing on his robe.

"i gave it back" he sat down on your bed.

"you did what?" you tried to sit up, but accidently put your weight on your hurt hand, wincing in pain.

theos eyes softened "i don't want to join some club that is fine with hurting the people i love"

"you didn't have to do that" your argued.

"yes i had" he insisted "simply because what she made you write isn't true. but i know that you questioned if it was. i won't let you think that"

"theo" you said softly.

"i spoke with potter and told him what happened. he has something going on as well. i know i can't do much, but he said he had a plan"

"you did all of that because of me?"

"are you kidding?" theo asked "of course i did. because i love you"

a tear slipped over your cheek. "thank you" you whispered "i love you too" theo softly kissed your forehead.

"i hope you get out of here soon"

"it will just be tonight"

"good" theo smiled "did enzo, the coward, really leave you here on your own?"

you shook your head, smiling, before you leaned over theo, dragging the curtain behind him to the side. there in the bed was laying enzo.

"he passed out, just after she took out the first syringe" you laughed "she gave him some sedatives and he's been out ever since"

theo shook his head, laughing, before he drew the curtain close again "at least then he can't see me do this" and with that, he kissed you.

[w2soneshots]

Two becomes three -George clarkey

words: 2.4k+

warnings: unplanned pregnancy, sickness, worrying, birth.

summary: you and your husband George’s journey to unexpectedly becoming parents along with your social media posts during your pregnancy.

notes: hello my loves! Here’s the request. I love writing fluffy fics like this🥹. I hope you all enjoy this extra long one shot!!🧸🎀🤍 (please lmk what you think!)

Liked by wroetoshaw, mollymae and 934,125 others

y/username: baby has entered the chat @georgeclarkeey

-comments-

chrismd10: congratulations guys❤️

faithloisak: how cute!! So happy for you two🥹✨

max_balegdae: ahhhhhhhhh

y/nfanpage21: there's no fucking way!!🙊

user27549810: the random George jump-scare at the end lol

user60286430: didn't they just get married like five seconds ago?😅

I met my now husband George four years ago. He followed me on instagram, I followed him back and not long after that we were dating. Last year he proposed and just under a month ago we had our wedding, which was beautiful and only had our closet friends and family.

An hour ago I took a pregnancy test. I was only a day late on my period but I took it just in case. I could hardly believe it when I saw two lines and it was so faint that I convinced myself I was seeing things so I decided to sleep on it and then tell George when I knew for sure.

But I just couldn't keep it a secret. I blurted out, "George, I think pregnant." As soon as he walked through the front door after his shoot with Arthur tv. He was baffled. "You- woah- you think?" I nodded. He took a moment to process what I just said. "And you took a test?" He finally asked. "Yeah, the lines were really faint though. I was gonna wait until tomorrow to tell you but- it just came out."

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I let out a soft sigh of relief. "If you are then I'll be so happy," he whispered into my hair. I smiled, though he couldn't see me. "I'm so overwhelmed," I mumbled. His hand made its way up to my hair and he gently ran it over my scalp, silently reassuring me.

That night everything felt so strange. You're supposed to take the tests in the morning anyway for the most accurate results so we were just waiting and trying not to get our hopes up in case it wasn't positive.

The next morning I woke to an empty bed. I reached for my phone and then read the text George had sent me just ten minutes ago; "gone to buy more tests, hopefully I'll be back before you're awake x" I sighed softly then got up.

As I was brushing my teeth the front door clicked open and soon George was walking into the ensuite. He smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, looking at me through the mirror. "Ready, love?"

"You look. I can't." I quickly passed the upside down test to George as we sat on the end of our bed. Just seconds before, the alarm on my phone rung but I couldn't bring myself to look at the test.

He took it and flipped it over. A wide smile spread across his face as an excited chuckle escaped his mouth. "Seriously?" I asked, shocked. "Y- yeah, you're pregnant!" He shot up of the bed. I giggled. "I'm gonna be a dad!" He pulled me up and into a bone crushing hug.

The next two months weren't very fun. At the beginning we were both so ecstatic. Then the morning sickness hit. I could barely eat, sleep and it was becoming impossible to make up excuses for why I couldn't go out.

George was like my rock through the entire ordeal. He was by my side every time I had to run to the bathroom, he held me and gently stroked my back as I tried to get some sleep, he pleaded with the doctor when we went for my first appointment hoping there was something, anything they could do and he let me ramble on about how I just wanted to feel normal again.

Slowly our friends figured it out and offered their help. The girls put together a basket and Faith made sure to include everything that helped her through her first trimester, Chris came round to keep me company while George had to go and film something for a brand deal and George's sister sat with me as we online shopped since I couldn't really go out.

When the sickness slowly started to ease off everyone was so relieved, George especially because he hated seeing me constantly upset. I was finally able to enjoy pregnancy, announce it on instagram and suddenly the last few months were erased from my mind.

Liked by faithloisak, arthurtv and 513,290 others

y/username: love, hate relationship with the heat

-comments-

taliamar: you're glowing babe!!💞

-> y/username: 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

georgeclarkeey: 🐊

y/nfanpage21: the puppy🥹

user85299106: this is adorable

At twenty two weeks we went on our little baby moon. I spent twelve days relaxing in the sun while George fussed about suncream and making sure I was in the shade. Since becoming pregnant he's been much more protective, which I don't mind since it's never overbearing. He's just trying to help in anyway possible.

"Good morning sleepy head." George greeted me quietly, sitting on the side of the bed next to my sleepy form and gently pushing the messy hair from my face. "Mornin'" I mumbled, shuffling slightly. He leaned down to press a soft kiss to my forehead before asking if I wanted some breakfast, to which I immediately nodded.

We left our little apartment after getting ready and walked hand in hand down the street towards the cute little outdoor café we'd spent quite a few mornings in the past week and a half.

"Thank you." I smiled at the young girl handing me my pancakes. "Will that be all?" She asked politely after placing George's breakfast in front of him. I nodded and she walked away.

"Mmm, I'm so glad I can actually enjoy food again," I said after swallowing a mouthful of food. George just stared at me. "What?" "I just love watching you." I chuckled. "That sounds a bit creepy babe."

When the day came that our baby moon was over I was sad to be leaving such a beautiful place that I'd made life long memories in but I was secretly very excited to be going home and getting back into normal life.

Liked by chrismd10, taliamar and 623,309 others

y/username: clearing out my camera roll✨

-comments-

arthurtv: fifth slide?😭

-> georgeclarkeey:🫃🏼🤰

faithloisak: stunning!!!

y/nfanpage21: you, the bump, the flowers, all so cute💝

user10479624: you're both going to be the best parents

The next few months were spent relaxing and preparing for the arrival of our baby, who we found out the sex of just after our baby moon. We had a little gender reveal at our apartment with our families and a few special friends. We decided on a cake, classic, cute and delicious.

"I can't tell!" George announced. I stood next to him, my hand holding the knife that was cutting through the cake. Both of us were trying to peek at the sponge but it wasn't until I pulled the slice out that we spotted the pink.

Immediately the room erupted into cheers. I placed it down on a plate along with the knife and I turned to my husband. Tears welled in my eyes and when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled my body off of the ground the commotion around us seemed to disappear and all I could focus on was us.

"We're having a girl," I whispered, as though I was trying to convince myself that this was actually real. He gently placed me down, his hands landing on my hips. "I knew it. Dad intuition goes crazy." I giggled before pushing onto my tip toes and placing a loving kiss to his lips.

After that day I was suddenly obsessed with buying baby clothes, what the nursery was going to look like and the realisation hit me that I was actually going to have to push a human being out of my body, though George was quick to reassure me about that.

"Baby's the size of a small pineapple this week," I informed George as we sat on the couch, my feet resting on his lap as he slowly massaged them through my socks. I turned my phone around so he could see the app that keeps track of the baby.

"That's huge." He muttered, eyes widening slightly. I chuckled. "When she's done cooking she'll be the size of a pumpkin." "Oh god, I'm sorry." My brows furrowed, an amused look on my face. "What are you apologising for?"

"You're gonna have to lug around a pumpkin sized baby," he replied, deadly serious. I just laughed, though I wasn't particularly looking forward to that.

The months flew by and suddenly I was actually carrying a pumpkin sized baby in my stomach. At thirty seven weeks my back constantly ached, I needed to pee every five minutes, I wasn't sleeping properly since I had a future gymnast kicking around in my stomach and all in all I was just uncomfortable.

Since I could now go into labour at any second George was watching me like a hawk. Every grimace when I felt an extra strong kick, every sigh and every time my hand touched my stomach he would sit upright and just wait for me to say something.

"I'm fine, George," I'd say. "Just checking," he'd reply and that interaction would repeat itself another one hundred times before the day ended.

"I won't go if you don't want me to, Chris can find someone else last minute," George whispered as we lay in bed, my back pressed against his chest as he gently drew circles on the side of my bump. "No, I'll be okay. It's only a few hours," I mumbled back, half asleep. "Okay, just promise you'll call me if anything happens?" "Promise."

He left early the next morning to film the football video for Chris' channel, meaning I woke up alone. I went about my routine like normal though it felt like it was taking me longer to do my usual things, like I was moving at snail pace, which was slightly strange but I brushed it off.

An hour later I lay on the couch scrolling through instagram when I felt a twinge in my lower stomach. My brows furrowed slightly. "That was weird," I thought but I continued to scroll.

Until I felt it again. This time I decided to keep my promise to George and phone him. It ring a few times before he picked up. "Everything okay? Is it the baby?" He said immediately in a rushed tone. "I'm not sure, I just feel... weird."

He took in a shaky breath. "I knew I shouldn't have come today! I'm coming home." "It's fine, I'm- we're fine. Calm down-" "no no, I'll be there in twenty minutes, love you." And with that he ended the call. I sighed, feeling slightly bad that he'd had to leave the shoot but also a little relieved.

Just under twenty minutes later he burst through our apartment door. I stood in the kitchen, hands on the countertop as I took a deep breath, eyes squeezed shut. I heard his bags drop then the sound of his feet racing towards me.

"You said you just felt weird!" He placed his hand on the small of my back. I looked up at him as the pain subsided. "I did! It started getting worse after I called you."

George collected himself. "Okay okay, you're having contractions?" "Mhm, think so," I responded quietly. "How far apart?" "Like five minutes." He thought back to the birthing class we'd gone to last month. "I think we've got some time and the woman said the first kid always takes a while so let's not stress," he tried to reassure me and himself.

"I'll go get the bag, you just- uh... breathe." I chuckled softly, already calmer now that he was here. He emerged from our bedroom minutes later with the small suitcase in hand.

It took half a hour to get out of the door, drive to the hospital and get checked into a room. After that we could both relax.

The contractions weren't unbearable but I wanted the epidural as soon as possible. "Hmf-" I squeezed George's hand. "Another one?" He asked softly. All I could do was nod. "You're doing amazing sweetheart, so so good. I'm so proud of you."

Once I got the injection I felt like a million bucks. I couldn't feel the contractions, just a little bit of pressure. I sat in the bed happily as I ate my ice chips. Before I knew it, it was time to push.

Liked by sidemen, prettylittlething and 1,004,586 others

y/username: we've been in our little baby bubble this week but I wanted to officially introduce you to Maddie Clarke🤍👼🏼💫

-comments-

georgeclarkeey: my girls❤️

max_balegdae: yasss mother

taliamar: congratulations🥺💓

y/nfanpage21: I'M CRYING

user02781643: they're literally living the dream life omg!!

"She looks just like you," I said as I watched George's eyes fill with tears, his arms secured around his daughter, just ten minutes after she'd entered the world. He glanced down at me. "I love you so much, this is officially the best day of my life," he whispered. I smiled fondly and somehow I fell in love with George all over again, in a completely different way.

We spent a day and a half in the hospital before being discharged. It had been just me, George and the baby in a little room so it felt amazing to go home. I waddled after my husband as I watched him carry our newborn -who slept soundly in her car seat- out and toward the car. He strapped her in then helped me into the backseat.

"I get what people were taking about now," I said as he stared the engine. "Huh?" "I saw a video about the 'hot dad walk' out of the hospital and I totally get them." He chuckled, though he was cautious of the sleeping baby.

After a few days and once we were in somewhat of a routine his family came over to visit. His slightly younger sister was so excited and could barely keep quiet. "She's adorable. Oh my goodness, look at her little feet!" "Okay everyone, no touching until you've washed your hands!" He announced, pointing towards the kitchen sink.

I watched with a smile on my face as he fussed over whether Maddie's head was supported, it was extremely sweet how much he cared for and loved our daughter. I couldn't wait to watch as he became the best dad ever.

[annab-nana]

Exhausted parents kiss, after the reader and character of your choosing are tired after a long day of Christmas with their hectic children lol

i'm gonna do this one with ron weasley because i can't get that boy out of my head

warnings: not proofread, pregnant!reader

❀ masterlist ❀

"are you sure you want to have another?" ron asked after he walked into the bedroom, leaned against the shut door, and let out a tiresome sigh.

you, standing by the bed where you were pulling back the blankets to get in, looked down at the baby bump you were sporting before looking back up at ron. "i think it may be a tad bit too late for you to be asking me that," you tell him, earning a grin from the man you loved most. "and anyways, how else are we supposed to live up to the weasley name if not by having hundreds of kids?"

"we aren't even close to mum yet," ron spoke as he strode over to you slowly, his hands coming up to the swell of your stomach. "this one here is number three. we're on our percy. we still have four more to go if we even want to truly compete with the weasley name."

"oh, i don't know about that," you told him with a chuckle while sitting down on your side of the bed. "and it wasn't really our kids that made today so exhausting. it was your brother."

"which one?" ron questioned teasingly, rounding the bed to lie down beside you. you both knew very clearly which of his brothers wound your kids up which tired you two out. "yeah, freddie and george make quite the pair."

you rolled your eyes and reached over to turn out the lamp near you, casting darkness over the room. scooting closer to ron, you cuddled into his side where he had his arm stretched out for you. "i didn't realize when we named him after fred that he would turn out exactly like him. i sympathize with your mother more and more every day and we only have two kids, three in a few months. i have no idea how she did it."

ron chuckled, squeezing his arm tighter around you for a second. "and he's only three and a half years old. we aren't even in the thick of it yet. you remember how the twins were in school. wait until freddie's that age. then, you will really see how much he's like fred."

"no," you whined, burying your face in ron's shirt, "i don't want to think about my first baby going to school already."

his chest vibrated with light laughter before a yawn took him over. "come here," he spoke through the yawn, causing you to lift your head up. you knew exactly what he was seeking as you moved closer to him, more specifically to his lips. tiredly, you both leaned in and pressed your lips to one another's. after the kiss, only seconds passed before you both fell asleep, the effects of the long christmas day finally taking over you and ron.

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tag list: @marjorie189 @jellyfishbeansontoast

[barblaz-arts]

Real real real random ask.. Buuutttt- what's your favorite song? Mine's either this or this, and not even because I'm into the dsmp, I just like cg5 lol. So yeah! Just was curious ig, also thought I should mention that you actually got me (back) into (obsessed with) the Crane Wives! I used to listen to them a little while back and got back into them again when I watched the Chaggie animatic with Curses for the song. That's all, have a good day!

Oh that is a very dangerous question. I LOVE talking about/recommending songs I like. I cant just choose one tho, especially when there are artists who have so many songs I love and there are many genres I adore, so sorry for the long ish list

With The Crane Wives my favorite changes from time to time. I remember when I was ill and basically bedridden for two months, I'd spend hours just listening to all of their songs. Rn my favorite is I Aint Done. Apparently it's supposed to be based on some urban legend? I like to think of it as some tragic sapphic story

Marianas Trench is another one of my favorite bands. If you were a teen like me who loved watching AMV's in the 2000's to 2010's, their songs are often used for ships lol. (i get the feeling you might be a bit on the young side tho, so sorry for talking about some oldies here) Hard to pick a favorite too, but maybe this one since it's the first one of theirs I heard

I havent ventured too deeply in rap heavy songs, but this is one I like a LOT. The pre-chorus and chorus are such killers too and a lot of fun to sing lol

Jordan Fisher is such an underrated gem. Their songs take me back to the classic RnB from the 2000's. And watching them perform is kinda captivating.

People who have followed me for a while now know that I also love kpop/Loona, so lemme plug in my girls real quick. This is my favorite from one of their subgroups

Kiss of Life is a newer group I've been getting into lately, and they're real dang talented. They kinda remind me of Little Mix, which I also really liked

If you're into anime, you've probably heard of yoasobi because they've had songs that feature in anime. It's really really hard to pick a favorite with them but the one they wrote for Beastars is the one I'm currently obsessed with

There are also a lot of good songs in my country I could talk days about, especially this one by Ben & Ben. The mv stars their bassist and keyboardist who are dating irl, which makes it even cuter

And then there are so many broadway songs i like.... oh my god so hard to choose........

Beetlejuice is my favorite musical, so I gotta choose one from it. The lyrics for the songs in this musical are so good, but especially with Dead Mom. The bridge where Lydia turns all soft because of how much she loved her mom gets me everytime. (fun fact for those who dont know, the voice actors for Pentious/Adam and Rosie were the OG actors for the title character and the step mom)

Lastly, I havent actually watched the Waitress yet(I'm talkin about bootlegs ofc) but the soundtrack's really good. The voice actor for Niffty was also there, so you might wanna check it out just to hear her sing, she's phenomenal. This song is undoubtedly the best of the bunch, and there's actually a version song by Lucifer's VA that is absolutely heart-breaking, but I'm putting the original version in the post for the intended message of the song because its important. Also this animatic is kinda insane. Jeremy Jordan's version of this song really is worth checking out too for sure

[aihoshiino]

You know what really makes me sad about this chapter? That if Ai really is watching from wherever she is, she is now seeing her family being torn apart…her one and only love is dying and tried to kill their daughter (which still seems unreasonable btw??? at least post 154 hikaru), her son she loves so dearly is dying…

Also this chapter made me officially hate Ruby out of spite. Since when did this story became Ruby-centric!?! What about Ai?? I want my old Ruby back...

YEAH IT'S KIND OF... 🫠

I've always been pretty certain that Aqua (& Ruby) would not die or have their futures irreparably stolen from them because that would be the ultimate desecration of and failure to protect Ai's wish - that Aqua and Ruby grow into happy and healthy adults with bright futures. I'm still fairly certain this is the case but like. Man. The series sure does seem confused on what her wish really was lately lol

Like it's not just the whole thing with Hikaru where apparently she wanted to save him but WHOOPS he was the joker already so it's too late even tho no one even had a chance to try (but also... that), there's this bit that keeps coming up in the back half of the manga where everyone keeps talking about "performing at the Dome" being Ai's dream that was stolen from her and Ruby getting to perform there would be fulfilling that dream for her or something.

But like... Ai really didn't give a shit! A week before that planned show, she asks Miyako if Domes are even that big of a deal then literally explicitly says "well, everyone else is happy about it so I'll act like I'm happy too". She licherally does not care in the least.

At first, I thought this was maybe BH Ruby being like, emotionally manipulative by framing her clout chasing as being something done to honour Ai's memory and legacy (since iirc she's the first to mention it) but the more it comes up in the mouths of other characters and goes unchallenged by the narrative, the more it feels like it's something we're actually supposed to believe it's true now. Which is weird lol

Idk! Maybe I'm misunderstanding and it's just an example of the ongoing tragedy of Ai's death - that the one thing she wanted the most, to be properly understood and accepted, can never happen now that she's not around to make herself understood. But again, this sentiment is framed so warmly whenever it comes up now that I just don't really know what to make of it anymore.

[surrogate-fawn]

End of Term (NYC College AU)

Part 1 of 2

(Link to Part 2 will appear here when posted)

Summary: Fawn is a small-town girl from West Virginia trying to find her future in the Big Apple. She's left everything from her past behind her . . . or so she thinks. During her final exams, Fawn is completely unaware that she's been pregnant since before the semester began -- and her labor has started. As her discomfort grows more intense throughout the day, Fawn gets a little closer to discovering the cause of it. Hopefully, it doesn't take her too long to figure it out.

((This story features Newt, who belongs to @mittysins.))

TW: Cryptic pregnancy, graphic bodily descriptions, implications of past abuse, emotionally traumatic birth experience.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still wasn't used to the subway trains. Sitting on one was like riding an elevator sideways during an earthquake. The g-force of every start and stop made my stomach lurch, and I still almost flew outta my seat every time. I could expect to be a little queasy by the time Newt and I reached our last stop -- and that was when I didn't wake up sick.

"Bleh. I blame YOU for this!" I text messaged Newt, despite the fact he was sitting a few seats over. He was sitting in our usual spot, but that morning I needed to sit in the back corner, where I could curl up and rest against the wall.

I saw Newt check his phone from the corner of my eye, and seconds later I got his reply: "How is indigestion MY fault?"

"I didn't even want takeout until YOU asked for it." I was sure to put a goofy emoji at the end of the message to show I was being sarcastic.

"Sorry. Cravings." Newt replied. A second later he sent a gif of a cartoon cat shrugging.

I leaned over and met his eyes with a deliberately exaggerated frown. There were several strangers sitting between us, and I probably looked crazy -- but what else was new in this city? I hit 'send', and watched Newt check his phone. I delighted in his held back snicker when he saw the giant picture of a middle finger on his screen.

That morning marked the start of our first finals week as freshman at Queens College. Newt and I had stayed up as late as possible, doing some last-minute study cramming at my apartment. Now that Newt was entering his second trimester, he was trading in his morning sickness for late-night cravings of Chinese food -- specifically steamed dumplings with fried rice (but it had to be plain rice, he'd cried when I'd accidentally ordered the pork rice).

"You're a bad influence on me, lol. I need to stop joining in on your craving binges." I hugged my backpack tighter to my stomach as my guts cramped again.

"I'm not the one who ordered two boxes of sesame chicken and three extra egg rolls." Newt retorted. A second later: "Not to mention the lo mein."

"The lo mein was supposed to be for lunch today! >:("

"Ye right. ;)"

Fine, yeah, I'd overdone it last night. I could barely contain myself around food anymore. Ever since I'd arrived in New York City that past summer, I'd been overeating. I guess I was eating my emotions. The stress had been piling up all fuckin' semester!

Moving from the suburbs of West Virginia to such a huge city had my nerves fried by the time I settled into my teeny-tiny apartment that was more expensive than a house back home. Stacked on that was the anxiety of starting school. Stacked on that was the fact my roommate, Makayla, refused to do her share of chores. Stacked on that was homesickness. Stacked on that was studying enough to not lose my scholarship. Then stacked on all of that, my one and only friend in this city was dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

If my next-door neighbor hadn't been Newt, I'd still be floundering. Without a doubt. We clicked at first sight, as if we'd known each other in a past life. He was my lifeline. Newt had lived in Manhattan all his life, but Queens College was the only local school within his budget and that's how we'd ended up in the same off-campus student housing. He was the one that taught me street-smarts -- which roads to avoid at night, where the best Mom-and-Pop restaurants were, how to hail a cab, and how to read the hieroglyphics that were the subway maps. Although we'd only been friends for barely a month when he knocked on my door with a positive pregnancy test and tears in his eyes, I'd never thought twice about being his shoulder to cry on and his hand to hold.

I didn't care if worrying over him added to the stress of my new life here, it was a worry I gladly carried.

But it seemed all that stress was finally catching up to me.

As the train came to another screaming halt, I was twisting myself into a pretzel. My stomach was cramping again, straining hard to move along the mountain of food I'd eaten twelve hours earlier. The doors slid open, and several passengers I recognized as fellow students stood up. Newt joined them, slinging his bookbag over his shoulder and plucking the air pods out of his ears. I knew I needed to get up, but my legs needed a few extra seconds of convincing.

"You good?" Newt asked as he watched me lift myself off the seat in segments.

"I'm fine," I said, walking with him onto the platform. "I just hope that Pepto kicks in soon."

"How many exams you got today?"

"Three," I groaned, my head falling back on my shoulders. "Chemistry, biology, and that stupid-ass remedial algebra class."

"Ha! I've only got two," Newt gloated, pausing to zip up his oversized red jacket.

"Uh-huh, but don't you have to wait eight hours between them?"

"Gives me plenty of time to study," he said as we continued up the station stairs. The sonofabitch was talking like he hadn't been complaining all week about his morning class and evening class having the same exam day.

"Please," I smirked, rolling my eyes, "I know you're just gonna play The Sims 4 on your laptop."

We both shivered as we walked out of the muggy underground and into the biting cold winds coming off the harbor. I pulled my hood over my head and pulled the drawstrings tighter around my neck.

"You can't prove anything," Newt grinned, his breath coming out as a soft cloud.

I gave him a comedically unamused look. "You're pregnant, so I'm not gonna hit you."

Newt chuckled and placed his hand over the small, four-month bump that was hiding under his jacket. "Thanks for the save, kiddo."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The walk to campus was only two blocks, but it felt like I was forcing myself to trudge through mud. I regretted ordering so much food. Clearly, I hadn't learned my lesson, yet.

My overeating the last few months had me in a constant state of bloat. It always felt like a giant water balloon was sitting right on my guts. I was peeing every few minutes, my kidneys working overtime to get rid of the extra fluid I was holding. Gas bubbles were always rolling through me, too. They were mostly just annoying blips of movement but recently they'd gotten painful.

The worst were the large pockets of air that got trapped under my ribs. They would stay there for hours sometimes, making it excruciating to breathe. Nothing in the world could help me when I got like that; I just had to go about my day in agony and wait until the pressure spreading my ribs apart decided to move along.

By now, I was kinda used to functioning while my intestines were trying to kill me; but, God, they were trying extra hard that day.

My stomachache flared up right outside the library, the shortcut I took to get to chemistry class. I sat down on a bench, gripping the edge of the seat and trying not to double over. My sides ached, and a deep stabbing pain plunged deep inside my abdomen. The invisible knife twisted, and I realized I was holding my breath.

"Fawn?"

I looked up at Newt, who had doubled back to check on me. His first class was on the other side of campus, and the library was where our daily routes split for most of the day.

"I'll be fine," I said, waving him away. "I'll buy a soda at lunch. That usually helps."

Newt glanced over his shoulder, down the path he was supposed to take, and then stepped a little closer. "I won't be out of here until five. Don't wait up for me, okay? When you're done with exams, just go home."

"Yeah, I will," I nodded. "That sounds good."

Newt nodded back, looking a lot more at ease. "Is it okay if I come over with some soup later? I found a new recipe online and it looks really good!"

"That's fine," I said, stretching my arms over my head to loosen up my torso. "Just use your key. I'll see 'ya then, bud."

"See you then." He gave me a two-fingered salute and continued on his way.

I checked the time on my phone and sighed. I had to get moving again, or else I'd have half my final exam score deducted for being late. My chemistry professor was a real stickler for being on-time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd moved to New York City to finally get my degree in Botany & Plant Science. It'd been my dream for a while to become a researcher and study the pharmaceutical use of plants. Having a pair of old hippies as parents will inspire that interest in 'ya. Queens College was the best scholarship I could get out-of-state, and I had to be out-of-state. I just had to be.

I already had trouble fitting in with my classmates as a "mature" undergrad student. Since when was twenty-nine considered too "mature" for college?! All of my subjects were basic introductory courses, and that meant I was surrounded by fresh-faced teenagers less than a year out of high school. Even Newt wasn't that young. He'd taken a few years off before college, but apparently twenty-four was still young enough to fit in with the crowd.

At least not having any classroom friends meant I was left alone that morning. I sat in my assigned seat and watched the rest of the students file in from the hallway. The desk allowed me to hunch down when my stomach clenched again, the muscles in my abs pinching hard. I crossed my legs and bounced my foot, trying to distract myself from the storm brewing inside me as the professor laid out the rules of the exam period.

I was in pain for that entire hour. It was hard to keep up with the time limit. I had to pause on several multiple-choice questions -- sometimes because they were challenging, other times because the stabbing, twisting pain was flaring up. I began fantasizing about how good I'd feel after I was able to get my hands on a soda, and that daydream carried me through.

Shockingly, I was one of the first students to stand up -- and I'd finished with barely eleven minutes to spare. My professor nodded at me as I placed my exam packet on his desk, and he quietly wished me a good winter break as I shuffled out the door.

Freedom at last! There were about two hours to kill before my biology exam, so I was sure with a light snack and some rest I'd be feeling better by then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd worked hard to build up enough of a nest egg to live off in New York. I'd squirreled money away for three years in a secret bank account, and lied to Alexander about how much my hourly pay was. My scholarship covered only part of my housing costs, and I knew living off savings couldn't last all four years of school. However, I was not going to stress over buying a three-dollar root beer when it felt like I was being wrung like a washcloth.

The dining hall at Queens was a glorified cafeteria: fold-out tables, plastic chairs, too much noise and not enough space. I really wasn't hungry, but I knew if I skipped out on lunch I would regret it later. So, I stopped by the Nathan's stand to grab a hotdog and bag of plain potato chips to go with my large cup of carbonated medicine.

I made do with sitting at the empty end of a crowded table, where the huddle of dudes at the other end were playing Magic: the Gathering. That stuff was more Newt's scene than mine, so I put my earbuds in and pulled up the YouTube app on my phone.

The Peanuts Christmas special played on my screen as I nibbled on chips and washed the salt away with long swigs of root beer. I was hoping to summon a little Christmas spirit to help me not feel so dead inside. It was two weeks away, and it was the little candy-red cherry atop my mountain of things to worry about. Between hesitant bites of hotdog, I wondered how I could pry some gift ideas out of Newt last-minute. I'd already gotten him an Amazon gift card, but I wanted to get him something a little more per-.

I sucked a sharp breath through my nostrils, choking on half-chewed bread as my stomach cramped again. It didn't feel the same as the hundreds of other cramps I'd been having. This one was bad. It was really. Fucking. Bad! I curled up in the seat, my hands dipping inside my hoodie pocket to press against my stomach. Even through three layers of clothing, I could feel my muscles clenching.

And it just wouldn't stop. Most of them would fade after a few seconds, but this one just kept going. I doubled over, pressing on my belly and praying the pain would stop.

And then it stopped.

I sat up straight and looked around. No one nearby was paying any attention, but my freckles turned pink anyway as I quickly rose and tossed what was left of my food in the trash. I chugged the rest of the soda.

There were still two exams to go, but I was already checked out for the day. I knew there was a bottle of cupcake vodka leftover from Makayla's birthday party last month. Mixed in a milkshake, that stuff had been sweet enough to give me both a sugar high and a buzz. Maybe if the soda didn't do the trick I'd go home and try soothing my stomach with one of those. I deserved one already, and it wasn't even noon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It hurt to be upright.

My biology exam was half lab work and half a written test. The class was split into two groups: one to do the lab first, and one to do the written exam first. Guess which one I was in.

I was white-knuckling that clipboard as I quietly shuffled from one specimen sample to the next. Identify this bone. Identify that leaf. Is this a rock or a fossil? I was rocking my weight from side-to-side as subtly as I could. The cramping hadn't eased up since lunch. I was feeling this one down to the soles of my feet and keeping 'em moving was the only way I could stay standing.

At the apex of the cramp, I grit my teeth as a new pain bloomed deep inside my hips. I leaned my weight over the table, disguising the motion as trying to get a better look at a specimen. A knife-like stab hit my cervix and the ache radiated between my legs.

Ah, okay. I knew that kind of pain, even if it'd been a while.

No wonder the indigestion was so bad. I always got an upset stomach the day my period was due to start. 'Course, I could never tell when I was due. I tried tracking them, but ever since puberty they'd been on a schedule of their own. My cycles had been mild spotting for most of that year, so I figured there was a mighty buildup of Mother Nature in there that was trying to come out. No wonder I was already cramping so hard.

Oh, boy . . . and from my experience, I could tell I was in for a world of hurt once I actually started bleedin'.

I made it through the written half of the exam free of carnage. The pain was somehow easier to deal with when I knew it was all just hormones. At the water fountain down the hall, I popped a few ibuprofen out of my purse and downed them. There, now I knew I'd be feeling better once those puppies kicked in.

Another two hours, and I'd be free to go home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was relaxing on a sofa in the library when I suddenly felt a pouring wetness in the crotch of my pants. Ah, fuck. Fuck!

I left my backpack behind in a panic and speed-walked to the nearest restroom. I subtly pulled my hoodie as far over my hips as possible, hoping to hide anything that leaked through my sweatpants as I shuffled past other quietly studying students. I cussed myself out in my head for not thinking to put on a pad as soon as I started cramping.

Once I was hidden away in a stall, I inspected the damage. My underwear was damp with a watery pink discharge as well as several dark red clots. Yes, some of it had seeped through my pants, but not enough to be noticeable. I could still feel it dripping down into the toilet as I tried to clean everything up.

All it took was that first drop of blood for the cramps to reach their full strength. That was always the case when I missed a few periods. I pressed my lips together to stop a groan from escaping as I doubled over and hugged my midsection. My entire torso throbbed and clenched inward. My toes curled inside my sneakers as the pain once again trickled down to the soles of my feet. My jaw locked up as I grit my teeth against the pain, and I felt a charlie horse starting in the back of my neck.

Everything. Fucking. HURT.

The cramp left me feeling slightly weak. It didn't just disappear, it just . . . settled back into my muscles as a soft, constant ache. I held a wad of toilet paper between my legs for a few seconds, and in that short amount of time it was soaked in pastel pink. The floodgates had opened, and it wasn't going to stop. This pink discharge was no doubt going to become a full red tide by the time I got home.

I returned to the couch wearing a cheap cotton pad from the restroom vending machine. Although it wasn't smart, I swallowed two more ibuprofen dry. I sat curled up in the corner of the sofa, killing the last forty minutes before my exam watching videos on my phone.

The cramps just kept coming. I kept feeling blood gushing out of me and into the pad. My labia were constantly throbbing, and not in the good way. Every time I cramped, it felt like I was being turned inside out.

I seriously considered blowing off my algebra exam. I would fail the class, but I could just re-take it next semester, right? Maybe I could re-schedule the final if I brought in a doctor's note? Well, fuck . . . no, I couldn't do that. My health insurance wouldn't fully cover an emergency room visit and I doubted a doctor's note from three days after the final would be able to save my sorry ass.

Besides, I hated remedial algebra so much I felt nauseous at the thought of doing it again. I was just gonna have to suck it up and get through it like everyone else. Then, I wouldn't have to think about anything else until tomorrow.

God, why me?! Why today of all days to start the worst period in the history of mankind?!

I wondered if there was some cosmic deity out there who was taking joy in my suffering. If so, at least this pain was good for something in the grand scheme of things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite the biting December air, I felt sweat dripping down my back as I trudged across campus to attend my last exam. It hurt to walk. It hurt to stand. Hell, it just hurt to exist. I made myself keep a steady pace, although my body was demanding I stop with every cramp. When that telltale stabbing would start in my lower back, all I wanted to do was lay on the floor and cry; but I was a grown-up, and I had grown -up stuff to do.

When I sat at my desk, my hips jolted up as if the hard plastic seat had burned me. I let out an involuntary gasp of pain, and my face burned in embarrassment as everyone turned to look at me. I started a chesty cough to disguise the sound.

I hadn't noticed it when sitting on the plush couch, but my labia were ungodly swollen and sore. This was not something that usually happened during my period. I knew my hormones were way out of whack this time around, so . . . maybe it was some weird hormonal reaction?

Whatever it was, it wasn't making the exam any easier.

My whole weight was sitting square on my pelvis in that uncomfortable classroom desk, and it was torture. I tried sitting as far back as I could to take the pressure off, but that just made my tailbone hurt, too.

My pencil slipped in my wet palm as I desperately tried to fill the bubbles in on my scantron sheet. I wriggled my hips, trying in vain to find a way to sit that didn't hurt like hell. Sweat began to drip from under my sports bra beneath my layers of clothing. It was taking everything in my power not to beg my professor to let me take the exam while lying on the floor. Fuck, I'd even do it standing on my head -- anything to get the pressure off my poor vagina.

Ten minutes in I decided to leave my final grade up to fate. I was in so much pain, I no longer cared if I failed the class. I chose my answers based on educated guesses, skipping the solving process entirely.

I was staggering to my feet within twenty minutes, and my professor gave me a scowl when he saw my worksheet hardly had any equations written on it. He leaned in as I placed my scantron on his desk.

"I hope you know you've wasted your time," he whispered, glowering at me from under his bi-focals. "You may as well have not showed up."

The only answer I could offer was a nod. I hurried into the hallway, tears blurring my vision.

I knew I'd wasted my time. I knew I'd fucked myself over. The further I walked down the hall, the more I regretted not trying harder.

I threw the test after ten fuckin' minutes, just so I could go home and be lazy. I wasn't sick, I was just on my period! What sorry excuse was that for wasting tuition money? There were probably dozens of other students in the same amount of pain I was in, but they weren't throwing away their grades over it. God, I was pathetic. I was so determined to pass this stupid remedial class at the start of the semester, even if it was with a 'C', but in ten minutes I'd given up.

Maybe Alex was right. Maybe I was just too damn stupid to be here.

By the time I stepped outside, I was crying. I pulled up my hood to hide the tears and kept my head down as I began the long walk off campus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The noon train wasn't as packed as the seven o'clock train, but it was still too full for my liking. That was what I hated about the city; you couldn't go anywhere without brushing shoulders with a stranger.

There were available seats, but I couldn't sit down. My lower lips were throbbing with my heartbeat. I had my arm wrapped around a standing bar, clinging for dear life against the g-forces of the train. My stance had to be wider than natural, or else my thighs would pinch and cause a hot, pulsating pain through my stomach. I knew I probably looked like a drunk trying to hold themselves up against gravity, but I reminded myself that New Yorkers see things like that on the trains all the time. No one would say anything as long as I kept to myself. My hood was still up to hide the leaks in my eyes, the flow of tears I couldn't fully control.

I clung tighter to the bar as I cramped again, and a warm gush soaked into the pad between my legs. My eyes dripped as they stared off into nothing, my mind going blank from the pain. A sudden "buzz-buzz" from the phone in my pocket brought me back from the void. I blinked my vision clear and checked the text message. It was from Newt, replying to a text I'd sent earlier:

"Sorry ur feeling so shit :( You going home?"

I rested my temple against the smudged chrome pole and typed my reply:

"On the train now."

Three grey dots appeared below my message.

Buzz-buzz.

"Still want me to come over??"

I replied: "Yeah. Makayla's with her boyfriend for the week and I need distraction."

Grey dots. Buzz-buzz.

"Awww poor bb. A whole apartment all to yourself. Glad I'm not THAT unlucky. /s "

I grinned and dried half my face on my shoulder. Newt had never fit in with his roommate's group of frat boy sports fans. Just like I had never gelled with Makayla's crowd of hardcore party girls. They weren't "bad" people, they were just . . . not "our" people.

"We need new roommates," I typed.

Dots. Buzz-buzz.

"Ye."

I felt another huge gush, and my thighs pressed together in response. My inner cheek bled as my teeth chopped through it. Fuck. Forgot to not do that.

That cheap pad didn't feel like it was gonna hold up much longer. The last thing I needed was to reenact the elevator scene from The Shining in front of two dozen strangers on the subway. I pulled my hoodie further over my hips, just in case.

"Fair warning," I typed, "my apartment might be a bloodbath by the time you get there."

Dots. Buzz-buzz.

"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!"

"Omfg."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ohhh my fucking god."

I angled my lower back into the stream of hot water, pressing my hands into the glass wall of the shower. I hung my head as my body gradually clamped down on itself like a vice, tighter . . . tighter . . . tighter. Now that I was safely inside the privacy of my apartment, I could finally deal with the pain how I wanted: whining like a 'lil bitch.

"Ohhh my fucking god," I repeated, the sentence crawling out of my mouth as a slurred moan.

The water splashed pink at my feet. A few dime-sized globs of red fell onto the shower mat and were washed away. My pad had been soaked through with that thin pink discharge, but hardly any real blood. My body must've been trying to break my uterus open like a piggy bank to get out what it needed, because I felt like I was dying.

"God," I dragged the word out for a solid minute in a deep, angry groan as I sank to my knees. I ran out of breath, but the pain kept going. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and pitched forward, eyelids pinched shut and teeth open in a gaping snarl. The muscles in my torso vibrated with tension. It was hard to breathe, my ribs too tight to get a full breath. The air I managed to suck in came back out as another drawn-out groan: "Fuck."

I'd been trying for hours to ease the cramping and indigestion that were teaming up to kill me. I'd taken enough ibuprofen to drop a horse. I'd taken Pepto-Bismol like shots of tequila. Heating pads had helped, but not for long. I'd put an ice pack between my legs to bring down the swelling, but the ice stung. I'd turned the temperature as high as I could tolerate and was now face-down on the shower floor, letting the water hit anywhere it could reach. My skin was scalded red, but the iota of relief I got was worth it.

Knock, knock, knock. Three solid knocks on the bathroom door.

I knelt there with my cheek in a puddle of water, too engulfed in pain to react.

"Soup delivery!" A cheery tenor voice on the other side, somewhat drowned by the water rolling over my ears.

Newt? What was he doing here? He didn't leave school until five. Shit, what time was it? How long had I been home?

I lifted myself onto my elbows, blowing out a long breath as I waited for the pain to fade. As soon as it did, I called loud enough for Newt to hear me over the roar of the shower:

"I'll be out in a sec. Just put everything in the kitchen."

"M'kay."

I didn't hear Newt walk away, but I heard his heavy crockpot being set on the counter -- the kitchen shared a wall with the bathroom. God, that apartment was tiny.

Ugh. I had to get up. I'd been in there too long. The water was turning cold. My hands and feet were pruney. I had to get up. I had to get up.

I climbed up the slick glass wall, leaving smeared handprints in the condensation. The higher I stood on my feet, the worse I felt; but if you'd asked me to describe how, I wouldn't have known what to say. I steadied myself, turned the water off, and opened the shower door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a fresh bowl waiting for me on the counter as I stepped into the kitchen, but I didn't have an appetite.

"Don't like it?" Newt asked, serving himself a helping of soup from the crockpot.

My hair was hanging limp around my face and shoulders, dripping water like the branches of a weeping willow; but the droplets rolling down my neck weren't water. A sticky layer of sweat was coating my back and my legs beneath my plush winter pajamas. The bowl of homemade French onion soup sat untouched and steaming in front of me.

"No, it looks good," I said. "I just don't really feel like eat--ugh!" Another cramp started and this time I didn't hold back a moan of pain. "Augh!"

Newt set his bowl on the stove and took a few soft-footed steps towards me. "Does your period usually hurt like this?" he asked, rubbing his hand over my back.

I shook my head and braced my hands against the counter, unable to answer him with words. I tried to speak, but my mouth would only allow a series of small moans and gasps as the pain went on and on and on and -- fuck, this wasn't right! It had been almost a year since my last full bleed, but there was no way in hell this level of pain was normal!

I leaned over the counter, rocking my hips in a fruitless bid to shake away the twisting, stabbing, squeezing pain. As I struggled to fill my lungs with air, my mind scrambled for answers. Was this what endometriosis felt like? A cyst rupturing? A fibroid? Oh my god, what if it was a tumor?!

I felt more fluid dripping in globs onto my pad, and I let out a sob. "It feels so bad!" I whimpered to my friend, tears coming to my eyes. "I just . . . just want it to stop!" My lower back suddenly felt like it was going to break, and I let out another sob as my knees began to give out under me.

Newt saw me falling and he acted quick. His arms hooked under my shoulders, and he arched his back to try and keep me standing.

"Woah, hey!" he cried as he caught me in a low crouch, just before I'd hit the ground. "What's wrong?!"

My first thought was to tell him to put me down. He shouldn't be straining himself like that, and I worried about him even through the blinding pain. I opened my mouth to scold him, but that's when it happened. I will never forget the moment it happened.

A huge weight began to sit on my lower bowels, and I swear to god I thought my guts were going to fall out. A tsunami wave of nausea rolled up from that horrible sinking pressure and hit my stomach like a geyser. I dry heaved and sank lower to the floor as my mind was overtaken by one silent demand:

Push!

"Newt-!" was all I managed to gasp.

And then I was bearing down with all my strength.

I'd never felt anything more intense in my life. It was an unholy demon pressing down on me, and I had no choice but to submit.

A scream -- a full, honest-to-god scream -- ripped itself free of my throat. I rested just long enough to inhale, and then I was pushing again, my chin pressed to my chest. I felt a shift deep inside, pressing against my lower spine. Something was prying me open. Something was slipping its way down.

I screamed again as the realization finally dawned on me: Something was coming out!

"Fawn?!" I heard his frantic voice, but my vision was haloed in black. "Fawn, talk to me!"

I held onto Newt as my lifeline, until I ran out of the strength to push anymore. "Help me!" I panted, hugging him closer. "God, please help me!"

"What is it?!"

"I'm fucking turning inside out!" I cried, growling as I pushed the object lower into my pelvis.

At first, I was convinced my colon or something was about to pop out like a fucked up horror movie; but I felt the object heading to a different area of my body. I could feel my swollen labia pushing out into my pad.

"Augh, I think it's my uterus!" I sobbed as I strained -- unable to stop myself in both regards. "That's what's falling out!"

"What the fuck?!" Newt cried. "That can happen?!"

"Yes!"

"Oh, shit!" Newt jumped up and began circling the kitchen. "Where the hell is my phone?! I'm calling 9-1-1!"

"Please fucking do!" I yelled, dropping to all fours as Newt hurried to look for his phone in the living room.

Forbidding myself to push was like forbidding myself to breathe. It simply had to happen. Tears flowed from my eyes as I was forced to push out one of my own internal organs. Not just any organ, the one that would end my dream of having a family once it was gone.

This was hell. I was in hell.

My hips tried to jerk away from the pain as the object began to force itself though my vagina. I felt the object pressing against my pad as I pushed, and I wondered if it would be enough to hold it in. Maybe if I could somehow keep it inside me, the doctors would be able to pull it back in.

The next push told me I had no other choice but it let it out. What was happening was happening fast. Too fast. Too fast! Oh, fuck! I felt my skin yawn open and pull tight, creating a hellish burn that made me scream myself hoarse.

I hiked my pants down and craned my neck to see between my legs. The first thing I saw was a long strand of pink-red mucous clinging to my bulging lips for a few seconds, before dripping down onto the pad at my knees.

I saw a hint of something beginning to breech out of me. It was fleshy and covered in blood. It was somewhat blue colored and wrinkled, and I was terrified. My inside-out uterus was coming out of me, and I couldn't bear the sight.

I shut my eyes tight and screamed through another huge push. I had a flash of the thought: "Since when was my uterus this big? Isn't it supposed to be small?" But it was gone before I could dwell on it.

Newt's footsteps ran back into the kitchen.

"Okay, I found-."

Both his voice and his footsteps came to a screeching halt as they entered the room. I heard something drop to the ground, and it sounded like the heavy-duty casing Newt kept on his cellphone.

"Holy fucking shit . . . !" Newt's voice was muffled, as if he was pressing his hand to his mouth.

"If it's really bad, don't tell me," I begged through gritted teeth, a small sob jolting my shoulders.

Newt didn't say anything, but I heard him drop to his knees in front of me. I opened my eyes and saw him spreading a hand towel from the sink over his lap.

"It's not that bad," he said, taking my arms and adjusting them so I was holding onto his shoulders. His voice was uncanny -- it was obvious he was pretending to be calm.

Newt draped the towel over his hands and my heart dropped.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked.

"Don't worry. I've got you covered," he said. "Just push."

"Newt?" I asked, turning my face towards his. My heart was starting to pound behind my eyes. "What's happening to me?"

I didn't see him smile, but his tone remained steady. "It'll be okay, Fawn. I promise."

I gripped his arms tighter as another pain started. "Oh god, I'm dying, aren't I?" I groaned. I wasn't even scared at the thought -- at this point, death felt like the only end to this pain. I'd all but accepted it.

"You're not dying, Fawn," Newt said, brushing his cheek against mine. His fledging facial hair tickled. "You're fine, you just need to push."

Sighing, I lowered my forehead to his shoulder and followed my body's demands. The stretch continued, grew worse by the second, until something round and squishy slipped out and dangled between my thighs.

God, it was finally over.

All we had to do was call an ambulance and they could take me to surgery. However this happened, there was still a chance my uterus could be saved. My dream didn't have to be - !

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck, I was still pushing!

I screamed into Newt's body as my burning lips spread further over something wide for a few white-hot seconds. There was a disgusting splash that gushed over my inner thighs, followed by the softest little 'plop'.

I was empty. I felt hollow and numb. My body buzzed, but it felt dead. I was left gasping in deep breaths to steady my racing heart, staring off into nothing over Newt's shoulder. My eyes burned from sweat pouring down my brow.

"Fawn," Newt said -- his voice sounded miles away, "look."

"I don't wanna look at it," I sighed, wiping my face on my sleeve.

That's when she cried for the first time.

A warbled little mewl flew up to meet my ears.

I looked down, in the space between Newt and I . . . and I screamed.

A blue cord of flesh was hanging between my legs, coated in blood. It trailed down in a soft arch to the towel sitting on Newt's lap, where I saw the answer to every question I'd had that day.

Laying there between Newt's hands, squirming and screaming and blue, was a wrinkly newborn baby.

She was a girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End of Part 1 of 2

Author's Note: Thank you for reading Part 1! This is by far the longest fic I've written thus far. It's so long that I had to split it into two chapters! Part 2 will be available very soon. This story will be available on my AO3 page, just like all of my other fics! Feel free to follow me or any of my stories there under the same name.

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC Pick a Song - What About You Currently Shines Brightest?

Sup y'all, I'm back in time for the start of Leo season with another pick a card reading! The full moon is coming right up and I will likely do a reading for that as well very shortly, but I already had this done the other day and wanted to get it finally posted after much delay!

Below here are three cards to choose from belonging to the now-obsolete board game DropMix. It was a game connected to an app now unfortunately no longer in service, but it allowed the game to play by having chips in the cards activate a code that would send to a phone app to tally points as well as play music. You could pile the different cards together on a jockey board based on color and basically create your own remixes. You could play or make freestyle music. My basic pack has as many cards as the minor arcana + 4, so I thought these would be fun to bring out and work with for the partygoing Leo energy that's budding this late summer.

1, 2, 3

Pile 1. The Weeknd - Can't Feel My Face

Cards: Baroness (Fire, Leo); "I am in touch with my purpose and passion in life"; 7 of Swords, XIX Sun, XVIII Moon

(Okay just a quick note I just gotta let u know that I eventually plan to paint over the Sun card for my only RWS-esque deck because the smiley face creeps me out lol so I put a tiny candle over its haunting face. The Sun is supposed to be a positive card dangit!)

Anyway back to your reading! Right off the bat I feel like you're gonna be shining bright this season no matter how you personally feel about summer, get in the mood and live it up! Light that bonfire. Jump in the pile of autumn leaves. Tap into your senses in the most innocent and playful way. I feel like you shine brightly when you get excited about literally anything in your life, it could be a new brand of coffee or new pair of jeans or something but people like how you react to things. Reminds me of Youtubers who have these funny but authentic personalities as they review random products or whatever.

I feel like you can get so in love with something that you kinda, as the song suggests, "go numb" and let everything else fizzle away from your focus. But the thing to remember is that all those other things are still there even if they don't light you up. It's all about learning to find the sweet spot between really enjoying the moment and being in flow with the best of things while also attending to the gritty details. It doesn't mean you should "go numb" in the other direction by only focusing on practical things. When I see Sun and Moon in the same three card reading I am reminded of Temperance because you're trying to balance two different energies together that are ultimately meant to work together. Manifestation+work, joy+catharsis, reason+instinct, yeah? It's a lot to seesaw back and forth every day but 7 of swords tells me that you find ingenious ways to pull it off. Don't let the shyness snuff the light out, and don't let the egoic sense of duty override your needs.

If you feel like sometimes you have to sneak away to find time to enjoy what makes you shine from the inside, I'm getting guidance for the collective to simply learn how to share a little bit of what you're doing while balancing it with the part of you that wants to protect your creative ideas and work on them. Again, there's a message here about balance. You don't have to spill everything about your life to the first person who asks, but at the same time there will be people who benefit from your fiery energy. Your interests and talents deserve to take up some space, pile 1. I think this pile just shines in general even if you're not always aware of it, even if it's incredibly subtle. It's in the little things.

⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰

Pile 2. Evanescence - Bring Me to Life

Shield (Fire, Sagittarius); "I attract relationship in harmony with my authentic self"; 5 of Cups, 10 of Pentacles, 9 of Pentacles

This pile could be going through some awakening period right now. I know, I know, it may sound cliché with "wake me up inside" as the lyrics, but it occurred to me that the Shield in your card is like this old energy that has been barricading you from material experiences. Like this is a pile who's really already been in the thick of the brambles and is wanting to come out. The Sagittarius arrow sign is in my mind like a flare set off from deep in the woods as if to say, "hey! I'm over here, come find me!" It's being let off in the sky in the hopes of rekindling some sort of lost connection to something, could be a person or to a certain goal. You currently shine brightest when it comes to relating to others, and seeking out positive relationships.

It could be that you've gone through some disrupting experiences that have encouraged you to wall off to self heal. This may have taken a long period of time to work through. I feel that you're moving into a part of the thicket where more light is pouring in from the outside, that you're near the end of a long isolating tunnel. You're entering a phase of your life where you're ready to have connections that feel more solid and real, rather than fairweather friendships. You're looking for sustainability, for people to have some sense of loyalty with. People with whom you can truly enjoy the abundance of life. The main issue is that grief and isolation can becomes habits that we may need to temper with in order to allow the new. Forgive yourself when you still feel the need to retreat even as you begin to stand out more. Depending on how long it's been, it can be quite an adjustment.

Maybe abundance is coming a little slow here, as the green color here is blocky. But it's rich like emerald, so once it's found, things will transform in your life radically. It's saying that even if you identify as an introvert, there is still "treasure" to be found in building new relationships. It could be totally virtual. But you shine from making the most out of the opportunities that your current or as of yet undiscovered relationships have to offer. You have a lot to offer others as well. I do get a strong teaching role from this pile. Maybe you've thought about going into teaching. I think your students would see you as sensitive and resourceful.

⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰

Pile 3. LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It

Marigold (Water, Scorpio); "I am wise and wonderful"; 6 of Pentacles, 2 of Pentacles, 10 of Cups

Your reading is so clear to me, you shine brightest when you are fully present in the moment and loving what you're doing and who you're being. I don't think this pile likes to waste any time lol. I think you've had some hard experiences that have taught you how to value the time and resources you have, especially when you give this energy way generously. And I get the sense that you're learning how to manage both the philanthropy side of things with the personal fulfillment side. You're learning that one does not necessarily require the sacrifice of another. Compromise, maybe, but not at a net loss. You can give without overextending the hand, you can seek out bliss in life without taking it away from others.

This is not a common trait to shine in, pile 3. It's a mature place to shine, but not always easy to develop. It's required a lot from you right from the beginning. There were probably some things you had to let go to make it all work before. But it doesn't always have to be that way. Your ability to rise above the situation, brush the dust off your coat and move forward is what makes you shine. Although I'll say this: even if it looks like all is going well, you're still allowed to feel whatever grief is stored up inside you. It's part of moving past it in order to make the most out of the present.

Some of these experiences may have had something to do with your sense of confidence, your body image, how your present yourself to others, self-expression, and I'm also getting pretty privilege as a topic. Self worth over buying the right kind of things too… I think you're letting your hair down finally. You're letting some outdated ideas about your image go, you shine when you declare yourself to be beautiful and sexy "just because". Why does there need to be a reason? Some people might tell you that you, in particular, aren't "allowed" to feel good in your own skin and clothes. Some may get threatened by your confidence. But it's because that's where you shine and it's up to them to adjust their vision. Tell em to make an optometrist appointment if they can't handle seeing your presentation.

⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, Vitaminsee Tarot ™

[caffienatedicecreambear]

Notebook doodles. Couldnt fit them in my school doodles post so I did this separately. Anyways here!!!

Heres my comments for every doodle I think or something lol yeah

For doodle 1, not Danny Phantom but I still love KNY. Soo Mui and Rui!!! >:P

Doodle 2 may or may not be when I first tried drawing Danny... just miiiiightve gotten a little agitated since I didnt like it.

Doodle 3+4 more Mui!!! Happy birthday my fav :DD yes I know happy very late birthday.

Doodle 5, DPxDC. I dont know how to draw Batman, dont judge me... TwT

Doodle 6, supposed to be a crackship between Izuku Midoriya and Danny Phantom... not finished lol.

Doodle 7. No words. Just SUFFER! :)

Anyways yeah that's all goodbye farewell fly away idk Haha. I'm weird dont even say anything okay bye now.

[phoebe-delia]

Hello! I saw a post where you mention prompts. Idk if they are still open or what kind. 👉👈 but I’m humbly asking for Draco with dimples 🙈

When You Smile

@xx-thedarklord-xx Hi hello!! I am very Normal and Nonchalant about getting a prompt from you!! Not at ALL fangirling!! Nope, not one bit!! *screams into a pillow* *kicks feet*

ANYWAY! Here is what I've got. I hope it does your prompt justice. I am very sorry it's so late; I would not blame you if you forgot you even sent this. I am soooo bad at answering prompts in a timely fashion. (I do technically have prompts open indefinitely, of pretty much any kind, but I just cannot guarantee they will be done in a timely fashion. There are prompts in my ask box and drafts from literal years ago, but such is the life of a writer with ADHD, I guess, lol.)

I hope you enjoy!!! And thanks for the prompt!

"Potter, are you even listening to me?"

Harry is pulled from his daze, refocusing his eyes on Draco's now slightly frowning face. Draco glares at him, mouth slanted downward, and that simply won't do.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Harry says as earnestly as he can, resting his arms next to the library books stacked on the table.

When Harry thought about it, he was fairly certain the first time he was conscious of the flutter in his stomach around Draco was also the first time he noticed—well, it. Draco had been grinning, laughing heartily at something Pansy'd said, and Harry'd seen the sweet, subtle dimple at the corner of his mouth.

That one tiny divot. A small quirk that could be coaxed from his cheek if you made him grin wide enough.

Since then, Harry knew he was a goner.

Now, Draco rolls his eyes, but his lips tick up, and Harry feels a jolt of triumph at seeing the dimple reappear in the corner of Draco's mouth.

"There it is," he whispers, eyes fixated on that precious little mark. He watches as it fades into smooth skin, blinks, and then looks up into confused gray eyes and a furrowed brow.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Draco reaches up and gently wipes at his cheek, frown deepening when his fingers come up dry. He looks back at Harry. "Well?"

Harry feels his cheeks heat. "Sorry. I got distracted."

"I could tell that much, though I'm not sure what entertainment you could have possibly found on my face. I do hope you had your fun," Draco says bitterly.

"No no, it's not—" Harry glances away, unable to look at Draco. "I just like your smile," he admits to the desk in front of him.

"My smile?"

"Yes." Harry forces himself to meet Draco's eyes. "When you smile, you get a little dimple right—" he reaches up and brushes the corner of Draco's lip with his thumb—"there."

He brushes the spot again, because he can't quite help himself, and pulls his hand away from Draco's shocked face. His palm feels cold.

"Oh," Draco whispers. "Well, I suppose that's alright then."

"Y-yeah?" Harry's breath catches.

Draco reaches across the table, slowly as though to let Harry pull away at any moment, and laces their fingers together.

"Yes," Draco says. And he smiles.

[foryoufics]

Author's Note: I started a fic this afternoon but I'm not sure if I'm vibing with it, it was a venting piece so I'm going to let the idea simmer. However I was reading some fics for the first time in a while this evening too and I saw one cute head cannon post about Yoongi being YN's older brother and the one I started also had members as her/his brothers. So, piggybacking off of that here goes a idea lol

Summary: A conversation that comes up casually sends Jimin thinking about the past

Warnings: as always with me cussing and angst, dysfunctional broken family, sad childhood memories for the characters, some hints of sweetness and fluff, generally just tugging of heartstrings and feelings (Ew, David~)

"Man, that was a great wedding man!" Namjoon says with a big smile, slapping Yoongi on his back as he and the guys regroup after the ceremony of Taeyhung's wedding, "I don't know if it is as good as Jimin's but I had such a great time at both, they were beautiful ceremonies"

"Yeah, they were beautiful," Yoongi agrees, "what's his deal?" He whispers to Namjoon, gesturing that he was talking about Jimin who had walked ahead of them on the way back to the hotel and had gone silent. Namjoon shrugs but his worry was evident, "Hey Min, you okay? You look like you did that one time we were on that show years ago and that guy pissed you off," he chuckles

"oh yeah, the stuffed animal guy?" Yoongi asks. "Yeah, that jerk, by the way, I don't know if I ever told you how proud of you I was for that," Namjoon says as they take seats on the sofa across from Jimin and he slaps his knee, "I know you don't have a little sister but I do and what you did f-"

"I do and you shouldn't be proud of me, I'm a hypocrite....," Jimin cuts him short and he exchanges a look with Yoongi

"The hell are you talking about?" Namjoon asks with a raised brow and thinking it's a joke he once again chuckles, "you don't have a little sister, all these years and you didn't say anything"

"All the years we went not knowing yours," Jimin finally looks up and says in a deadpan serious tone before glancing back to his phone

"He's got a point," Yoongi shrugs

"Shut up, you knew my sister existed," Namjoon retorts to Yoongi

"He's got a point too," Yoongi looks to Jimin, "what are you talking about about? Matter of fact, you acted weird like this at Hoseok's sisters wedding too"

"I don't want to talk about it....," Jimin mumbles in a feeble attempt to avoid the conversation

"Nope, no, spill," Namjoon continues prodding

"Fine. I have a little sister-had-and you shouldn't be proud of me for what I said to him, I meant it but I didn't live to it and I spoke from experience of how I fucked up okay? I acted weird because I'm thinking, sorry ...," Jimin snaps and screams at them, what could be considered screaming for him before he calmed down at the apology, "I was thinking about that, and being at that wedding made me realize how much I hurt her ......," he wasn't sure what happened or what they said after this, after the room slipped into silence for a moment he continued scrolling and slipped into his thoughts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mom, dad, it's my birthday, can I have-," Jimin stopped just shy of the kitchen he was running towards. Today was his seventh birthday and he wanted to ask for a special treat for breakfast, his favorite sugary cereal. He stopped when he noticed they were fighting in hushed whispers. He wasn't meant to hear but it was too late now so he eavesdropped while waiting for the opportunity to make his entrance.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!?"

"IM SORRY! IT WAS A LAPSE IN JUDGEMENT!" That was his mother's voice

"HOW COULD YO-NOW YOU TELL ME!? WHAT ABOUT THE BOYS HUH!?"

"WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO!? THEY'RE LIVING IN THE APARTMENT RIGHT DOWNSTAIRS NOW!!"

"I-.......I am not going to hold this against that little girl, my boys should know though"

"No, you can't tell them, please. I will do anything"

"If they have a little sister, they're neighbors-I invited her over for the party today"

"The boys have us~, she has her dad; we are all fine-," they both realize they're being watched and stop, "Jimin, baby, good morning," his mom smiles and comes over to hug him.

"Hi, can I have some of that cereal? Please~," he pulls out his charm

"ofcourse son," they both speak in unison and smile, his dad makes bowls for him and his big brother as he comes down and joins

"So who is coming to this party?" Jimin's brother asks

"I invited all of my friends from class, and everyone in the neighborhood and they're all super excited!" Jimin happily announces

"That's awesome little bro," his brother messes his hair

"A new little girl moved into the downstairs apartment with her dad and I saw her trying to play with the other kids in the neighborhood and poor thing didn't know they were making fun of her and I felt bad, I felt sorry for her, hope it's okay I invited her son"

"Yeah, that's okay," Jimin nods although he wasn't sure

"That's my boy. She was really excited too. I hope you don't mind she's younger than you guys; your mother knows her, how old is she honey?" He watches his father look over his shoulder to his mother and from the view of the back of his dad's head can't see the expression, a mix of being pointed and absolute hurt just shy of agony

"She's four," his mother smiles

"Dad, most of the kids in the neighborhood are closer to my age like almost highschool so with them and his classmates do you think that's a good idea?"

"Why not? It will welcome her to the neighborhood," their dad shrugged, "finish up and go get ready, we're starting soon"

Jimin and his brother raised up stairs to get ready while their parents set out the cake and the Neapolitan ice cream and the chips, blew up the balloons and everything then the boys raised back down and all the guests began quickly filling up the apartment.

"Hi!" Jimin heard a little voice calling to him from behind and he turned. "Oh, hi," he smiled at the little person standing there with a box bigger than herself; he thinks it's a her, this kid barely had any hair (one could compare it to the Elmer Fud cartoons on Looney Tunes he watched with his dad on Saturdays or maybe a peach) but they were wearing a pink Barbie T-shirt and jelly shoes. "What's that?" He asks curiously. "It's your pres'n'!" He now realizes she was missing some front baby teeth.

"She's been really excited since your dad invited her, thankyou for that. She wanted to make you the gift and give it to you herself. I told her she could leave it with the others on the table"

"Oh, thankyou," Jimin laughs and takes it.

"No, they steal'," she tries to explain to her father but neither he nor Jimin understood.

"Tell him your name," he tells her. "I'm YN!" She tells Jimin

"I'm Jimin," he says, now already annoyed by her energy, he hadn't quite processed what he had overheard that morning to feel anything on that.

"Nice meet you!!" She hugs him and he stiffens up

"Easy," her dad pulls her away, "sorry about that kiddo"

"It's okay," he lies politely, did this man not know-he remembered he wasn't supposed to know, he opens the gift. It was a giant remote control car; a red convertible, "whoa! This so so cool!!" He says honestly and she claps happily and jumps

"She does chores and I give her an allowance, she wanted to get you something nice"

"Thanks," Jimin places the car down

"I has' four!" She announces holding up four fingers, "I wants gets you that's so we can play 'gether!!"

"Oh, that's so nice. I'm going to go see my friends," he excuses himself and whilst enjoying his party he couldn't help but think about the new neighbors. His first impressions being that her dad spoils her and she was obnoxiously loud and energetic. He notices both of their dad's gently giving her back a push to come over to all of the other kids and she shakes her head so they make her a plate and she eats in a corner with her dad; much too small for the chair she dangles her little feet.

Jimin woke the next day and went outside, he and his brother were free to roam until the street lights came on in the evening as long as they stayed in the neighborhood and didn't go past the bus stop at the end of the street. His first sight even though the sun had barely been up a hour and the sky was still pink and purple was YN out on the sidewalk in front of their building with chalk, she had wet it and been working really hard on making a track for the RC cars which she had with her, was she waiting for him?

"Daddy look!!! Me and Jimin can race!!" She says to the person sitting on her porch

"I see that," he hears her dad

"Jimin!! Jimin look!!" She had spotted him so he started coming down.

"You made a race track?"

"Yeah!! Wanna race!?" How was she already so much?

"Hang on sweety, let me talk to him. Come here son," he goes over to her father

"I'm sure you've heard....I know you probably don't understand and I understand if you don't want to play with her, she can be a lot"

"oh thankyou," Jimin sighs in relief and the man pats his back, "does she know?" The man shakes his head

"Jimin, wants race now?" She comes and asks him

"Uh, I actually can't, I was going to follow my brother around and bug him today"

"oh...okay... tomorrow?" She asks, hope still there

"We'll see, that's a really cool track though," he figured the least he could do was smile and he left; his car in hand to go find his brother who woke with the sun and he tried not to look back at her sitting and looking disappointed as she played by herself with her cars

"This is no fun.....," he heard her. "Darling, you have to understand that he's a big kid, sometimes big kids don't want to play early in the morning...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been about six months since then. Jimin had noticed when the neighborhood kids played with her they often broke her toys but he thought who cares, she had lots of toys. He noticed that they all lied to her to get away from her but he couldn't blame them. She never realized they were making fun of her when they did that, she did look hurt when toys got broken though, and she would mope while trying to make the best and cheer herself up when they lied to her.

"Hey kid," he at the very least always greeted her if their paths crossed or it would be awkward. "Sucks that no one can play"

"yeah, they' at their grammas' house but it's okay! I gets' watch Mr Rogers!"

"okay-"

"hey! It's my bird'day soon and I'm going to be five!" She holds up five fingers, "I wants you 'come! Please~, waits!" He groans as she takes off into her house and rolls his eyes, she comes back a minute later and gives him the invitation, she obviously made it herself. "I'll see," he smiles. "Thankyou!!" She hugs his waist and he gently pushes her off and goes inside.

A few weeks passed and the day of the party had come, and Jimin's dad had convinced him to go because she had come to his, she had gotten him something nice and even if he didn't enjoy it he could get free food. Alas, Jimin had overslept and women up just after the party was over so he makes himself go downstairs and knock. YN answers, he could tell she had been being a little crybaby, but she looked too happy to see him. "Daddy!! Jimin came! Jimin came!!" She jumps

He fought the urge to roll his eyes at how weird she was. He knew it didn't matter that he was late, she was five. She takes his hand and pulls him inside, making sure he got a plate, "how come there's so much food left?" "Leesa and Ronny forgets and the triplets were on va'ta'tin' and Marley was a-" "Just say they were busy YN," Jimin glances up and noticed her father looked tired. "Well, thanks for the plate, your dad looks tired so I'm going to go"

"Buts.....you jus' gots here....I has' games'....," she looks at the pin the tail on the donkey game on the wall. "That games no fun with two people" "oh....." "Bye~," he waves after her dad makes a plate for his brother and she waves, "Bye Jimin! Thanksyou' 'coming!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"KNnock! Knock! Knock!" Jimin heard as he's home alone one day because his parents were working and his brother was out on a date and he immediately throws his head back in a groan knowing the voice. He opens the door, "y'know you could just knock like a normal person," he says to YN standing there in a sparkly red dress and a red hair bow in her golden sandy blonde hair; she still didn't have much for someone her age but there was a great deal more than when they met, those paired with shoes like Dorothy's from the Wizard of Oz. "What do you want?"

"No one hears when I knock...," she hangs her head for a second, "Can you please go to my dance with me?" She asks smiling

"I'm not going to a first grade dance with a bunch of seven year olds, you're a big kid now you're almost seven, listen, I just don't want to hang out with you," he closes the door in her face, sure, it was mean, still nicer than everyone else was and he was finally honest with her.

"oh.....okay......," he heard her before she left but this time she wasn't crying so he didn't feel so bad.

"How was it?" Jimin heard his brother asking as the door was open and he was on the porch later that evening. "What's the matter, why are you crying?"

He didn't hear YN respond but she must've somehow, "are those your frogs?" He heard his brother then he heard YN, "I saw you playing with them the other day, it looked like they were racing. Can I see?" "......Dad said when I was at the dance .....Leesa was here and eating candy.....," he heard her sniffling, ".....ants.....they're gone...." "Oh....that sucks....." "Is Jimin home?" He gestures for his brother to say no and about a hour later his brother looks at him, it was after dark, "she's having a funeral for the frogs...and dad is taking her some tea, he thought sweets would be insensitive" "Dad's going to a frog funeral?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey move," Leesa shoved YN as everyone was getting off of the bus, causing her to fall. Jimin watches, this was none of his business.

"I'm sorry, I was walking as fast as I can," YN apologizes and gets back to her feet.

"You best watch your attitude with me, I ain't the one"

"What attitude?" YN asks to which Leesa's response was to grab the eight year old by a fist full of hair, she had plenty of hair now, it had grown darker as well. "That one, watch your mouth when you're talking to me little girl, I'll play connect the dots with your face"

"Ow, please let go, it hurts," he was now debating if he should step in as Leesa let her go, her fist still holding a clump of hair but by this point the bus driver had walked back to them and was screaming at YN and grabbing her arm to pull her off of the bus. She was trying to pull her arm away, still crying because her head now hurt and she was missing some of her hair. Then before any of them could register YN had kicked Leesa in the shin and brought her closer down to be level with her and bit the bus driver.

"YN, what are you doing!?" He asks wide eyed but the first chance YN had when the line moved clear she ran home and into her apartment holding her head and screaming, "leave me alone!!" at all of them at the top of her lungs in a high pitched tear filled screech.

YN regularly fought the people who treated her that way after that and figuring she could handle it he saw no reason to step in, it went on this way until she was in highschool because one day when she was nearing the end of middle school he heard her dad's cousin who was visiting screaming at her; she never fought again after that. He would see her defending herself verbally though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You look happy," Jimin smiled down at YN as she skipped home one day and he was sitting on his porch

"I have a sleepover tonight!!!! My friend Deseree is having a sleepover!!!"

"Hey you finally have a friend," he laughs lightheartedly, "was starting to think you were weird"

".....Yeah," she chuckles, "I have to go get my bag, see you tomorrow!" They both went inside the next morning he wakes up to his mother panicking and sobbing in the kitchen and YN sitting on the chair, she looked dirty and there were tire tracks on her. He blinks in confusion and notices that the eleven year old girl looked confused as well as to why his mother was reacting this way.

"What's going on?"

"That little--Deseree pushed her off of a trampoline and she was unconscious and when-" his mother was about to hyperventilate so their dad was claiming her down, "you explain," he told Jimin's brother

"I was walking home from Jacob's who y'know lives down by Deseree and I saw her on the ground and thought it was weird even for her to be sleeping on the ground and I started making my way over when I turned and saw Deseree about to back over her with her four wheeler; I started running but I was too slow; she rolled out of the way when she came through in time...I brought her back here"

"oh....," Jimin couldn't react before YN was standing, still wobbling, "I'm okay, I'm fine. Thankyou," she thanks them all, "I'm sorry I scared you," she says to his mother and is pulled into a hug she didn't understand because the woman had never spoken three words to her. She says her goodbyes and goes home after that

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The years went on and when YN was a sophomore she and her dad had to move for his work.

"Bye," she waves to his family and they waved as she loaded her things to leave; he hadn't heard from her since. He never knew what happened to her or anything. He finally snapped back into reality hearing the guys

"Dude, hey Min?" Namjoon was snapping in his face, he tells them a few stories he could recount and he could tell how pissed Namjoon especially was but his friend held it in, "well.....," Namjoon releases a fist he had formed, "you can look her up, try to apologize, now that you are aware," he snatched Jimin's phone and began the search.

"Found her, so she's YN, she would be 27 now, right?" He shows him and they scroll through your Instagram, "it seems like she really loves to read, she likes to do art and crafts and she likes nature"

"How is she?"

"How am I supposed to know? I mean she seems cool though"

"Well, is she seeing anyone? Did she get married? Did she have kids? Anything? Is she happy?"

"Well, she doesn't post much about a social life, it doesn't seem like she has one.....she did post about a breakup about three months ago, no photos of herself though, I don't see anything about kids or being married.....you should reach out"

Jimin shrugs and leaves, "I'll think about it"

Namjoon decides to take the step for him and sends you a DM, he explains everything and asks if you could meet up for lunch since you were close by; you talked with him all night and he found himself really enjoying himself and the conversation so you both agreed

The meeting was set and you arrived. You had never learned how to socialize properly and still struggled but you tried. He arrived first and the moment he saw you he couldn't wait to know you better, he swore it was love in that moment for him, then he actually got to know you and couldn't stop himself from texting Jimin, 'I was a hypocrite too. I shouldn't have trusted myself around your sister, she's amazing. If she isn't happy, that's my new goal'

J: 'wtf? I told you I'd think about it'

'think fast, I'm falling harder every passing second. Just so you know, she's beautiful, and funny, and I don't think her bubbliness is obnoxious at all. She's been talking about this book for fifteen minutes and I'm having so much fun. I keep having to tell her it's okay and she doesn't have to keep stopping and apologizing'

J: 'I need time'

'Thats fine, if she lets me I plan on spending the rest of my life with her'

'im going to ask her out, wish me luck'

'She said yes!'

'She hugged me!!'

'She said yes to the date!'

J: 'does she have hair?'

'yes she has hair, it's really pretty and long and it looks soft and it smelled so good'

J: 'Congrats on the date and also 🤢'

'and she's so tiny~~ 🥹'

[mysecretwindowuniverse]

"Remember when I told you you'd come around? You didn't believe me , silly little bird," "Jerome . . ."

This is cartoonishly late - like, this was originally supposed to be posted on Valentine's Day. Suffice to say, it's been a bit of an unexpectedly arduous journey to get this finally posted.

Back in the beginning of the year I spent about a month on this in total, from inception to completion. I'd just about finished, all the main piece needed were the final touches when my fiance got me sick. And I mean sick; hadn't been that ill in years, and I ended up losing more than a damn week to what turned out to be RSV. And subsequently missed Valentine's Day.

No big deal, I thought, I'll post it by the end of February.

Nope.

The setback of getting RSV turned out to only be the first in a line of setbacks, from getting sick a grand total of three more fucking times (not including the unrelenting menace that is allergies), unforeseen, extensive travel during the spring, followed by anxiety/existential dread over AI and the seeming impossibility to protect your artwork and the bitter hopelessness of the situation. So that kept me from posting. And then, to top everything off, came the travel-sickness-burnout-induced unexpected hiatus taken from this blog.

So yeah, it's been a long road.

But finally I was able to finish this piece - my first (completed) Gotham fanart! My original goal had been to post a semi-corresponding fanfic alongside the fanart, but on account of the aforementioned setbacks and a serious writer's block, that's going to have to wait. I'm still working on it! - but it's completion is seriously TBD.

In truth, I haven't done artwork this intensive in literal years, and it's been really great to get back into it. Like, I really threw myself into this; the urge to create just struck out of nowhere, and I fortunately had the time (and motivation) needed to see this piece through to the bitter end. And honestly? I'm really happy with how they came out!

Of course it's jeromewald, at this point, is it even a surprise, lol? What it says on this blog's header remains true - I do ship both nygmobblepot and jeromewald equally, but (both fortunately and unfortunately) of those ships, one already has an ocean's worth of phenomenal content, whereas the other is far more niche. So I figure it's best to create for the far smaller pair, supply what fresh content I can, and do my part to help keep this lovely fandom alive!

Can you tell I had Thnks Fr th Mmrs on a loop while making this?

'He tastes like you only sweeter' is an insane thing to say, and I feel it really fits a jeromewald x nygmobblepot love triangle. 'The love triangle from hell', one of my favorite things and the hyperfixation that has had me in a chokehold for years.

The pose is shamelessly inspired by that one Batman Catwoman cover (issue No. 9)

I can't say when the next fanart will be posted, but I am working on at least four others at the moment, so fingers crossed the creativity gods smile upon me and I'm able to churn more out over the next few months!

[acaplaya-musings]

A random assortment of Geoff Castellucci pictures - Part 1

I have a folder that is filled with screencaps of Geoff, some of which are/were for art references, and some of which are just because I think they're good pictures, and I asked in a recent post if any of you were interested in me showing you some of them. A few of you did very much express interest, and so here we are. This post, part 1, is for screencaps from videos on Geoff's solo channel, and part 2 will be for screencaps from VoicePlay videos.

They're just listed alphabetically by video title (because that's how they're sorted in the folder), and this assortment certainly has potential to be expanded upon, but it's just some/most of what I've got right now (plus some thoughts/comments from me about most if not all of them)

Everything below the cut!

This one I was considering as a potential fanart reference at one point - I was tossing up between this and Wicked Game for a sketch fanart, but I ended up going with Wicked Game

I mean come on sir please this is ILLEGAL /j

Look, Folsom Prison Blues is one of my top 3 favourite Geoff videos, emphasis on the word "video", so sue me!

h-

I know it's a habit of Geoff's to have at least two top buttons of a button-up shirt undone, but like in this video, (if you don't count the button that's probably right up at the collar), he's got three buttons undone and oh boy it shows And I Am Looking Respectfully

I grabbed this screenshot when I went looking for pics for my Geoff playing the piano photo compilation, but I ended up keeping this one because I just think it's a really nice pic <3

I actually don't have a lot of screenshots from Jack's Lament, but mostly because the whole damn video is so amazing and practically all of it is screenshot-worthy!

This was another one I was considering for fanart, but it would be quite hard to get right, even with my "tricks" for get outlines near-perfect

I mean yeah what can I say

Mele Kalikimaka really holds a special place in my heart, and I can't wait to watch/listen to it again come December (or late November if I get impatient, lol) (as if I don't have the whole dang song memorised in my brain already!)

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen may be the most impressive/stunning arrangement of Geoff's 4 Christmas songs, but Mele Kalikimaka is probably my sentimental favourite, deep down (and yes, he's very pretty in this one!)

I mean we all agree he looked dang good in this outfit right?

I actually low-key would love to do fanart of Jaime!Geoff (maybe standing up so I wouldn't have to include the Iron Throne), but that's a lot of brown, and I'm not sure I have enough variety of shades/hues to get it right

I know I included this one fairly recently in my visual analysis post for Song Of Durin, but I saved this one to my folder and so I'm sharing it again!

It's pretty rare for me to feel attraction to any "iteration of Geoff" (Geoff clone?) with thick facial hair, but man that smile... It's a similar deal with "Jeoph" in Unshaken, and frankly my attraction to him in that video continues to baffle me. You're not supposed to look that good with a handlebar moustache and not even a beard to go with it!!!

I call this one "Heart Eyes Geoff" and it makes me melt in love and affection every time <3

Geoff and Kathy had to refilm a lot of shots for Til Then, and they were completely by themselves in the studio when they did so. So yeah, she might not be on screen, but you just know he's looking right at her 💜

I really really love Way Down okay. I call this image "flirting with the camera" (got that from a comment on a reaction video to this I think?)

And finally, this is just the Wicked Game video thumbnail without the title text (got it from Patreon - Geoff sometimes asks Patrons to help vote on video thumbnails and will give us jpg downloads of each option), but still, it captured me from the moment I first saw it appear on YouTube. Like he's just! So! Pretty! And the wispiness of his hair (which was a deliberate styling choice, apparently, based on the BTS footage), and the way it's at this point long enough to reach his shoulders, just UGH man

So yeah, hope you enjoyed this; part 2 with VoicePlay video screencaps will be coming at some point soon! Seeya!

[c0smiccom3t]

AND NOW.... FOR A SPECIAL 3RD ANNIVERSARY UPDATE. (6/1/2024)

Hello friends, hello mutuals, hello dimension dyfenders fans and hello people who like indie cartoon/comic stuff in general! Comet here. Once Again. and this time i've got something ig this year. This was supposed to release on May 29th, but due to Ren not coming back for a long time because they needed to prioritize irl stuff, of course, we had to delay it.

But, but, BUT! thankfully I had a few things ready after all, however as for some other things else, we'll get to it much later, when the moment calls. Now, let's get off with the first one.

(warning, in case this update gets too long, i'll make a part two where i'll be able to link it through here.)

You Kinda... Look Different.

You may have noticed that Dislexo looks a bit different than usual (darker skin, a bit of shorter hair, etc.), in case you're wondering why... Yeah, you're about to find out.

So, while I was thinking and drawing up some D.D related stuff, I was brainstorming a little by my lonesome. All of the sudden, as I was making a new render for a character, I was like... "Wait a minute... What if I give Dislexo a new look which is a mix between a secretary and a butler but keep it's elements from what made their design unique?" and So, the new and improved Dislexo was born!

Honestly i'm proud of what they look like now. I just hope i won't (or will) get to redesign ALL of the cast again so suddenly lol! Anyways, thats just a small change I made, nothing too big. Now, let's get on something else... which is...

Pocket Adventures' current status + how's minisode 1 coming along

You might be asking inside your minds, "i wonder when more of minisode 1 will drop", "where are the new parts?"- Well, i got the answer. It'll only come only when im completely finished. However i havent been working much on it aside from making a few pages a few months ago, but hopefully this summer i may get back to it and finish it all up if i can. The final script is 73% percent complete, as for the comic itself, let's just say its 58%. I promise you i'm taking my time with delivering everything i can for this minisode. However i might republish the minisode with the series' current artstyle if it ever comes out physically (or either when I'll have the time or energy to do it.) So, now, you may be wondering: "But Comet, what do we do while we wait." Well you're not gonna believe this.

No, it's not an extremely late april fools post! We got new stuff coming soon, recently i've been brainstorming some ideas for brand new content, and you know what? It came to me, HERE'S WHAT'S COMING!

MORE TOONIES COMING YOUR WAY!

THAT'S RIGHT, after months of hiatus, Toonies is coming back with more strips! This time, since summer's coming around, i'll try to post and make more of them and even schedule the finished ones! We got even more covers for it coming, but for now, here's one of them!

More comics are not only gonna explore more of the Dyfenders' and the Dajo Crew's everyday lives in-and-out of their superhero/Villain occupations, we are also going to focus on much more on other characters (at least some of them), and some will last for a few more pages longer! No arcs though, sorry. But hey, you're getting more wackiness as a treat! Now, i know i said this year is not gonna be big like the other two years we had, but...

NEW SPECIAL CURRENTLY IN DEVELOPMENT!

THAT'S RIGHT! We're working on a new special to commemorate our three years! Thought it'd be a nice adiction to this year, we may not reveal the logo and it's title yet, but we can tell you what the sypnosis is about!

You're all invited to the biggest night in the Omniverse, right across it's stars, cosmos, galaxies and portals! Both the Dimension Dyfenders and the Dajo-Crew are crossing the red (or should we say, blue) carpet in this brand new 3-part special! Prince Dajo-Voo has a new plan on how to take over the gala, all while he tries to self-control himself from doing the same explosive incident he did back then. The Dyfenders may be having a great time at the gala, but rest assured, they'll be sure to keep a close eye on him. Here's to a Rift-errific and (hopefully) trouble-free gala!

As a bonus, when the production on all three parts are done, we'll be posting Toonies comics related to the special, which may feature a new character who will debut later on in Pocket Adventures! We don't know when it'll exactly be out, my guesses would be either summer, september or next May 2025. But rest assured, we'll be working on it, but we won't rush it out.

So... What's next?

Honestly, i can't really tell. But I can assure you i still have so may plans for this series, plans that will be put in action in the far-off future. What i really hope to do is to make animated shorts as well, not just Toonies strips, pocket adventures minisodes and comic dubs of it. Maybe if we'll ever make a backerkit or a kickstarter for it and get a budget, it might happen (along with more VAs joining in.) Speaking of VAs, in case you're a VA and you haven't auditioned yet, anytime is the right time! (this is still a test leap, but if it succeeds it may go further.)

but for now, we're sticking to comics, and then, if possible we'll get to comic dubs and so on.

That's all for now! I hope you're all looking forward to what's coming for this series. I'm sorry that it wasnt as big as the last years, but we promise that things will arrive when they can.

Happy (LATE) third anniversary, everybody!! Thanks for reading!

By the way, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!