#like man. yeah. i suppose it is...
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tged webtoon ep 169 spoilers and thoughts that i'm incredibly late on because finals are coming up but it's okay we ball and more below the cut
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two little creatures,,, i really like this little panel,,, why is he crouch like that,,, heehee silly guy
nothing too drastic happened in this ep but there's a lot to talk about (and a ton of thoughts i have abt the execution of it) sooo ya here we go!!!!
the expressions and the art in this ep were all REALLY good i really liked these HAHAHAA hes so fucking menacing,,,
JAVIER WAS ALSO FUN I LOVE WHEN HE PLAYS THE STRAIGHTMAN HAHAHAHA
javier ilysm "i have so many things to say,,, but i wont,,," LOL
the heavenly demon kings were cool too! though very short-lived,,, i will have more to say on that,,, their designs are pretty varied and i like that a lot!!! tho seriously why are there eight of them what happened to warrant eight LMFAO
ALSO LLOYD IMMEDIATELY SUBDUING THE DEMON KINGS BY SINGING LMFAOOOOOOOOOO he's got a weapon he's gonna fucking use it LAKJFDLSJKDF
zero hesitation he just blasted them,,, it's like taking an airhorn and firing it immediately in someone's ear,,, how evil,,, lloyd u bastard /aff
AND ARTANIS ARTANIS WAAAAHHH SHES SOOO PRETTY i love characters with horns like that ive had my fair share of OCs with those horns and together w her hair and expression and eyes i love her a lot <3 i hope she gets more sillies
it seems like she's the only one with mind reading abilities maybe its a demon king thing? javier did mention that she has a LOT more power than she lets on so maybe theres more to it? her introduction and her request for help came VERY quick she was quick to cry and while it absolutely makes sense that its bc her people really, REALLY need help, im also wondering if there's something more to it,,, she was very fast to trust lloyd; what else does her mind reading let her see, to what extent? not saying that she's an antagonist or anything, i do believe that she wants to help her people i'm just curious at how. fast this is. though it may just be because of a pacing issue thats causing this confusion in me,,, which i will talk about later below cause i wanna get thru these panels heehee
and lastly, OUR FIRST LOOK AT THE FORMER/FIRST DEMON KING CREDOS!!! and apparently he just. stopped invading and focused on farming!!!
one) i love collecting little bits of lore like this it makes me go heehee yay worldbuilding
and two) THIS IS WHAT BRIDGES TGED TO THE NEW PREQUEL THAT THE AUTHOR IS WRITING!!! AAAHH YESSS YES YEEESS I LOVE THAT A LOT
if you didn't already know, the author is currently publishing another webnovel set in Lorasia, and it's supposed to take place when tyrannus was a kid, basically a long LONG time ago
AND ISN'T THAT FAMILIAR? A DEMON KING WHO STOPPED INVADING AND WENT FARMING,,, THATS THE BITCH!!!
(it says here there were four heavenly demon kings here tho i wonder why they doubled HAHA)
i love love LOVE that the pieces were set up like this, idk if credos is mentioned in the novel at all but little building blocks that create bridges (however small) between works in the same universe are my favorite thing ever i like collecting those it's my favorite kind of worldbuilding thing bc it's like putting pieces together heehoo
i'll ABSOLUTELY be making a post yapping about this prequel and the Everything that is Lorasia soon, so i'll leave this off here for now :3 but just know IM VERY EXCITED/HAPPY ABOUT THIS LITTLE LORE BIT IN PARTICULAR
ok that's all the panels i wanted to talk about ,,, i was gonna dive into worldbuild yapping/speculations but again i wanna make a separate post dedicated to that
now,,, about the pacing of this episode,,, as aforementioned, it feels really, REALLY fast! it feels like we're speedrunning the build-up part of the journey, like within the episode it's like "oh we got new characters, we get to know them- oh okay yeah they're not bad people actually - oh new powerful character let's work together okay cool moving on"
and it's a shame because i really really like the art and gags for this ep, i think they're really silly and i think i could have really come to like these new characters with more time, but because we're going through this process so fast it's like,,, the setup is barely there, which makes the punchlines just short of satisfying,,,
i wanted more out of this episode, i expected something else. i haven't read the novel so i couldn't tell you how i'd adapt it or what the something i expected was but,, idk it feels like the pacing is off,,, lloyd was quick to piece together the status of the overworld demons based on their attire and behavior but i really wish it went about in a different way. i wish we could have had more time with the heavenly eight demon kings before they were just. subdued? and the two children too, are we gonna see them again? with how fast they were introduced and how fast they were set aside, i'm worried they won't show up again
i also kind of wish artanis' reveal was,,, more. i don't know how to explain what that means. maybe more ominous? more mysterious? just a little more, more hints to her character or her relationship with other characters or something,,, though maybe this is too soon and we'll see more of her later and i'll be more satisfied? i'm not totally sure
this episode just didn't hit the same, and that really upsets me because i really wanted to like this episode! i've read more manhwa than novel currently so even with it's flaws i still really like the manhwa, and i want to be able to continue liking the manhwa,,, i really hope that this pacing thing and these fast-paced bits is just within this one episode and that it'll be okay as we go forward. i really want to continue enjoying reading this!!!
it could be that the adapter is experiencing some kind of burnout, it has been quite a long time since the start of tged. i really hope they take their time with adapting the rest, i really wouldn't mind another break. if another hiatus is needed for the adapter to pace the story and the artist to draw the panels in a way that feels better or less rushed, i'd accept the hiatus fully
anyway that's all i have to say right now,,, ep 170 really feels like a gamble right now and im praying that it goes well, if i have more thoughts ill probably rb with more yapping idk
i'll see y'all next week (aka tmrw) (because this post is a lil bit late LOL) im praying im praying,,, manifesting that this ep was just a lil awkward and that everything else is fine,,, please,,,
#tged#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#tged spoilers#the greatest estate designer#lynn misc#credos#artanis#javier asrahan#when i talked about this on the tged discord the first response was “oooh the realization is starting to hit you” ALKJFSDLSDKJFHA#like man. yeah. i suppose it is...#i may have not finished the novel but i can predict a very strong reaction for when i finally do and realize how different the manhwa is#i'll be here til the end though! these posts will keep coming#still glad we got that panel of lloyd crouching though. highlight of the ep for me#AND THE LORASIA TIMELINE BUILDING YESSS HEHE IM EXCITED TO MAKE A POST ABOUT THAT AFTER MY FINALS ARE OVER
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pro tip: you can always put the bugs in little outfits :thumbsup:
#rain world#five pebbles#lttm#looks to the moon#no im not procratsinating what im actully drawing to put the bugs in fun outfits what are you talking about#anyhow uh yeah man been a lil since i uploaded anything huh. that will not be changing. stay tuned for as scarce art as always. we stay thr#anyhow! you know i have done similar scehctehs alot and i always do the undershirt longshirt for them cause i feel like moon would like it#nd pebbles got it from her even if hed hate to adit it. sometimes your older sister figure has good taste (subjective) and you will never r#each her high#anyhow also i like desiging tshirt prints even if its always a pain when i need to do it#ough#anyhow i have suns also if anyone wanna see that i suppose?#otherwise hmmmm well if anyones reading this who has an opinion i wokring on a comic and concidering if i should wait with posting and do t#e whole thing once i anage to struggle through adding the text#or if i will be weak and post my fave parts beforehand for funnsies hmmmm many choises someone tell me what to do i hate making choises#uh for anyone not intrestied in my long tag rabling music rec for today is cop car by mitski!!!! and not at all because ive been watching a#disco elysium aniatic with that song on loop on youtube for days#thats not soemthing id do#anyhow anyhow!!!!#my art#see i can remmeber that tag sometimes :)#oh also an its nice to go back to drawing these guys after weeks of my own rw ocs. strange experince man#^-^
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the timkon fans who shit on bart are annoying, the konbart fans who shit on tim are annoying, and i don't actually know if there are timbart fans who shit on kon, but i sure hope not, because they'd be annoying. the three of them are a set!!! do NOT separate. red tornado literally assigned them one shared brain cell. what is not clickign
#rimi talks#theyre literally like the star trek triumvirate to me. even if you ship two of them romantically and not the third w them#the third guy still has to be there. like. you cant have spirk without bones. what is spones without kirk. you know?#you cant have timkon without bart. you cant have konbart without tim. you cant have timbart without kon.#in my rich inner world kon and bart are in a qpr while timkon are dating and timbart are besties. and bart loves to just hang out anyway#like tims in the garage working on the redbird and barts just suddenly there like heyyy tim im bored. can i help? (tim: NO!!!!)#(bart: aw cmon are you still mad about the time i scratched your car i SAID sorry!!!) (tim: >:C)#where was i going with this. i think i had a point.#oh well its gone n--OH RIGHT WAIT YEAH#all three of them love each other and everyone who doesnt get this is missing the point forever and ever and ever#and like. i GET being annoyed by the prevalence of bat characters in fan spaces#but man does it get tiring real fast to peek into some corners of this fandom when youre like. actually yeah i do like tim drake. sorry.#like man i do like tim and i'm not actually sorry about it but it sure gets. hm. well. simply tis not a space for me i suppose#and by that i mean the konbart tag i think. at least as of last time i poked in there (which was a while ago). ah well. alas#idiot trio <3#tim#kon#bart
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lord, give me one more chance
#undertale#uty#uty clover#flowey#meta flowey#premaposting#another one#4 am reference#if that didnt hit#i need “terrifying religious symbolism” with this dumb flower#yk what im talking about#like a mad scary god#idk how to call this genre of stuff#all i know is that its often p cool#ok but a 12 yr old fighting against a god probably around that age isnt fun man#also shush ik at this time clover themselves arent supposed to be there#just the soul alone#but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#yeah this is the second meta flowey drawing today you absolutely will never figure out what i did this week uh huh#one day sleeping p late is an answer#luckypatch
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Director of the False Last Act
#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv spoilers#han sooyoung#art i made#another of the drawings i fished out of my drafts that i completely forgot id started#if the face doesnt look like how i usually draw hsy uh. i apparently did the lineart like 4 months ago#and the way i used to draw her was WAY different#like i had to redo the face cuz i was like man this aint my girl wtf#oh yeah the sort of. watsonian reason why the title of the book shes holding is scrubbed out is bc it could either be twsa or orv i guess#the doylist reason is i couldnt decide between twsa or orv so now its neither LOL#side note but like. intellectually i know the thousand hand guan yin is like an actual thing in buddhism but my familiarity with it is#mostly from the dance move#so like as i was colouring this i was just imagining hsy like creating this pose in universe w the avatars which. one hell of an image#only two of the hands are supposed to represent like specific points in the story the rest are just. symbolic...?#the lemon candy one is obvious and the knife one is meant to be from when she stabs 49!kdj in the epilogue#also holy god im so bad at coming up with backgrounds for this kind of art#the original background i had i think i was trying to make it look like some kind of. book cover...? hence the borders#whatever it was it wasnt working#now i have no idea what its supposed to be 👍 like its giving. poorly designed tarot card
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i have decided to break my lack of original posting on this blog to bring you my Thoughts on Rot in Paradise. because i played it as soon as i got up this morning and i have scoured for some opinions after finishing it, and now i have my own!!
(and also i posted this on twitter but twitter has such a Shit wordcount that i'm also posting my things here with More Detail)
so! spoilers under the cut, please go and play the game if you haven't. it takes literally an hour (it only took nearly 2 hours for me because i like voice acting by myself and exploring every nook and cranny) and it's also free. so maybe come back into the tag once you're done.
okay, so i noticed quite a number of people being confused and disappointed on the lack of an explanation for the monster. it's brought up in the story as the central thing driving the plot, but it's never explained on what "she" is, why she's compelling people to eat a ton of fish-related food or hell, metal, and why this doesn't impact June at all.
but you know what I think?
i think that that's the point. the focus of rot in paradise isn't supposed to be on the monster.
yeah, it's the thing that pushes the plot along besides June and the gang going on vacation in this island. it's what's causing that uneasiness from the moment that guy grabs June's arm at the drinks, to the sheer unnerving feeling of witnessing people going to the ocean to get Raptured basically. i know i personally felt a chill when i saw that one dude literally eating chains and the other hauling an anchor, as if they're trying to make themselves heavier so they get taken by whatever She is.
but that's not the main point! the main conflict is about June and her friends.
as people have pointed out, this game is about toxic friendships and relationships! it's foreshadowed in the conversation that June has with the gang about her cousin (which i will also get into), and it carries it through the way her friends are horribly warped by this ocean Creature. June goes on a silly little vacation trip with her friends only for them to become so so different from themselves that they lash out at her and even hit her in McCoy's case.
but she still sticks it out with them. through the whole game, even despite their verbal abuse, despite being slapped, despite them being people that she can hardly recognise. she stays with them for the whole game, up until the point where you are given the two options at the very end. and she could still stay with them.
because they're still her friends. she cares about them even if they still hurt her. from the way June still tells Carmen to tell June if she needs anything after Carmen literally tells her to shut up and leave, the way June worries about Vonnie eating seafood even though she continues to stuff herself despite being implied to either hate or make an active choice to not eat seafood, to the way June still trudges out to sea screaming for McCoy to come back to the shore as he wades further in even after he slapped her until her nose bled.
it mirrors the conversation about her cousin, the reason for why June was looking forward to the vacation. that while she did comfort her cousin through all of it, June clearly says that "they were dickheads, and she should have ditched them a long time ago".
but it's funny, isn't it? that June, an outsider to her cousin's friend group, easily sees the pain that her cousin's friends are causing her, and immediately calls it as it is. that her cousin should have left the second they hurt her.
and yet now, when her friends hurt her, even though this was a quick and sudden change that happened in a span of three days, June still sticks around. her friends are dickheads right now, and we can see that in the way they interact with June, but she still stays.
because they're her friends. and how could she just leave them like this if it's something that's causing them to be this way?
so no, i don't think the monster is supposed to be the main picture. we don't need to know what it looks like, or why it needs to do this to the islanders, or how it's even doing it in the first place. it adds to the scariness of the game, as per the Spooktober Game Jam, sure, but that's not the point. might be a bit disappointing to some, but that's not the point.
the point is about June, and the choice that she needs to make at the end of the game.
it's a choice on whether she chooses to be pulled deeper into the tides and be with the friends who hurt her and will continue to hurt her in this way,
or to leave them to their fates, whether deserved or not, and resurface to a world where she's alone without her friends.
and even though the first choice hurts much more in the long run, doesn't the second hurt even more in the moment? knowing that you're alone at the end of all of this?
even if it is the right choice, i'm sure the pain must be unbearable in the moment.
#Rot in Paradise#Rot in Paradise Spoilers#RIP Spoilers#Studio Investigrave#this game isn't supposed to have a happy ending i'm sure. june's gotta deal with it no matter the ending#also because its not super relevant to the contents (more spoilers in tags)#i also see people speculate on why ryan just upped and went in as well#people say its possibly because he tried helping too much that he got sucked in (which i can see it!)#but also i'm wondering if he was sorta on the fence in terms of being got by the monster?#yeah he was on june's side but there was that moment at the bar with the woman and the metal shrapnel that he went-#“uh don't know about that but it did look like a huge chunk”. like he's sort of wavering on it?#but also i wonder if june's words on sunday night got to him. where she thought that maybe von mccoy and carmen were right#and that they were wrong. did that get into ryan's head? did he second guess himself?#did he go into the ocean wanting? leaving after giving june one last reminder of him (the jacket) as some sort of comfort?#man i don't know. but this game do be getting the cogs turning.
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there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y
hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]
#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#gustavo and brick#arting#pizzaposting#so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that#and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it#not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow.#he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT!#since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine#he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)'#so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you'#and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to#who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower#making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to....#it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative.#thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino#i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now#nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact#he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that#and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine#is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf#gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man.#anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo#pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here#''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy.#gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything.#if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''
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this beautiful morn on god's green earth is as good a day as any to weed out the people who were just following me here for "uwu Somft Huggable Squishy" art (my art of plus size bodies), but don't actually care about fat people, as people, and feel personally offended the SECOND we vocalize frustration abt the fatphobia we experience.
#like yeah oops#you can't do thatttt you're supposed to be somft squishy gf not a mean fatty.. you can't complain... that's too aggressive#the tone policing. is crazy#aauuu I don't like you anymore.. you COMPLAINED.#your support of fat people starts and ends with liking a drawing of a girl with a tummy? man. dude.#then that was no support in the first place.#sergle.txt
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"how many mouthguards does matthew tkachuk chew through every season?" "3 maybe? 2 or 3 a season?...but in playoffs i actually switch each and every round"
CBS News Miami | 6.28.24 (x)
THATS A 1 ROUND MOUTHGUARD???? THAT WHAT HIS MOUTHGUARD LOOKS LIKE AFTER A SINGULAR SERIES????? (x)
the more matthew denies it not being about "chewing through" his mouthguard the more it makes it seems like its because he chewed through his mouthguard like that is a maintenance issue THERE IS A HOLE IN THERE???? HELP???
also him mentioning that he likes his equipment fresh for playoffs and changes it every round which is so prevalent because THIS is what he had to say about the mere notion of new skates when asked on media day before the 2324 season started...
survey says that all cats who were asked (and shown) agreed they could not stand the idea of never getting new skates and went for "never be able to get a new pair of gloves"...matthew being the only one to go for "never be able to get a new pair of skates" (x)
youre telling me despite how much he obviously hates the physical discomfort of the cinch of new skates he still elects to change them because playoff superstitions (its not about about superstitions! he says...as if he also hasnt said on camera that the oldest piece of equipment he has is his jock and will in fact NEVER change it like that doesnt reek of sibney-isms...the way this man has influenced a whole generation of children...)
#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#“all cats are fueled by autism in their own unique way”#once again begging someone to get him a chew stim toy#or chew jewellery... just anything... it changes your life man and you dont ruin stuff youre not supposed to chew on...#its silicone you can chew as much as you like and you tire your jaw out its fantastic#i wish a friend who notices your -isms before you do and buys you a chew toy so you dont injure your mouth upon matthew just like i have#is it a little embarrassing to be confronted with? yeah no shit. but does it help in the end? YEAH NO SHIT.#also goldie giggling to himself after saying “or did you chew through it too hard cuz its in your rat game” OH HE THOUGHT HE WAS SOOOO FUNN#AND HE IS. HES RIGHT.#the matthew lore thickens it does
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tbh i think volo would have been significantly more normal and fine if he hadn’t been hiding so much of his true feelings and personality. like when you deny yourself genuine human connection to that degree you’re probably going to come off as a machiavellian monster who wants to make the world and the lives of others worse, but looking at his actual stated motivations and intentions it’s clear to me at least that the guy is deeply empathetic and idealistic and more than anything disappointed that the world can’t be better
#volo#pla#i don’t even think the game wants you to think he’s That Bad#given the way laventon discusses him talking about the pokédex and peacefully/awkwardly leaving#the way his eyes go all weird makes me think they were going for almost a jekyll and hyde psychotic break thing#but people kinda projected another kind of villain trope onto him—the calculating immoral sociopath—and that’s the common interpretation#it’s like the opposite of when people look at villains who are meant to be completely terrible and find redeemable things about them#insisting that the writers wanted people to see those things as well#i might be doing that myself but just looking at the text and themes of the game it seems to me that you’re supposed to feel bad for him#rather than like violently hate him#even just with the way the player looks at him when he walks away#and that’s not even getting into shit that happens in pokemas#like sorry man volo unintentionally and incidentally prompting arceus to separate the train guys does not make him evil#that was arceus…#same with the player character although i think volo would have had more of a reason to tell them what’s going on#ingo was accepted in hisui#they weren’t#anyway sorry i just wanted to add my take to the many floating around#maybe im wrong or you disagree! that’s fine#but yeah
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Repair day
#day 3 for vashtember#prompt was robot arm so I wanted to draw something softer#djdjdkdoe I was supposed to finish this on the third but unfortunately life happned and I couldn’t be bothered to post it yesterday to uhhh#but yeah I like how this turned out lol#it got so lazy toward the end rip#if yall say anything abt that janky ass hand I’m going to eat you#like I spent so long shading them face and hair but when I got to the pants I was like man fuck this#the goal for these drawings is to try and help me find a new rendering style since I was really not happy with my last one#still don’t rly know what I’m doing but I’ll get there lmao#Trigun#trigun maximum#trigun manga#Vash#vash the stampede#my art#trimax#Vash Trigun#Trigun Vash#vashtember#Trigun art#Trigun fanart
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kay oh bee dee
#arting#transformers#kobd#knockout#breakdown#megatron and starscream are also here but this ain't about them...#idk if i like my breakdown human ver but whaaaatever...#i was pretty set with knockout.... hmm hmm#I AM STILL PISSED AT THE CHARACTER DEVELOPEMENT FOR KNOCKOUT BTW... like 😭#also with breakdown's death 😭😭😭😭😭 aagagahahahhhh whhyyyyyyyyyy#i'm not even pissed actually he died but the way knockout reacts to it is like 😭 ok. sure. call him your partner and shit and you dgaf 😭#like. ok at first i was like ''ooh he is trying to ignore it but later they will show his reaction to it!''#THEY DON'T!!?!?!?!? it's just ah yes.. my fellow comrade died... oh welll i will avenge him! 😭😭😭😭 fucj you#it pisses me off especially arcee gets multiple moments remembering cliffjumper and tailgate#you know... her previous partners? yeah..#i understand budget stuff and shit but come on... you could've done more with knockout? idk...#i heard bd was supposed to become an autobot which is so cool but they didn't do it due to budget stuff. kms....#😭😭😭😭😭#idk they just had so much potential and they threw it down the drain..#man even dreadwing had a similar motivation of avenging with his dead brother 😭#ok... anywya yaaaaa 😭
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Iterator can from my wips (please read that in the tone of blorbo from my show :) (that superstructure is a girl (he/it) to me)
#rain world#on second tought u could have not written the tagline as that but alas#man i dunno how to tag this uhm uh#rw ocs#i suppose?#its the can of one of my iterator ocs that i drew for some oc ancients so like yeh#anyhow broight to you by carpsoup i suppose#!!#my art#:))))#for song recs hmmmm ive been listening to the album sweden by the mountain goats#its good!!#anyhow uh yeah might post some more wips from this piece maybe...unless someone tells me to not by sceaming in agony or soemthing#if that happens il probaböy deleteall social media and go back to reading lexucons like a normal person#hmmm#if your reading this hope you have a lovely day :)))
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Just. percolating thoughts about Bill, denial and his lies are lies. Bill as a character I'd say is characterized by deep deep denial. He's a character that's both aware and immediately not aware of his feelings and his situation; it's all very doublethink. It's about denying everything and drowning it all out (yeahhhhh big partier? Alcohol and drug abuse? Totally a result of being healthy; not to mention the dissociative episodes he APPARENTLY GETS???).
Because essentially, hes constantly warping his perception of everything occurring around this glass tower he's built of who he is, a ruthless, unfeeling tyrant of a monster, akin to a god (and beloved by humans when he deigns to charm them). This persona is something that he's made in response to his own belief that he's a monster, his own deep insecurities for being a freak and wanting to have proper connection, care and vulnerability with someone that he's lacked. It's a persona built upon self destructive tendencies, denial and the pursuit of pleasure for the purpose of drowning out anything uncomfortable, that he's practiced for trillions of years. And at the same time these insecurities that built this persona are all deeply denied in the way he'll deny that Ford meant everything to him but also when asked if Ford meant nothing to him, backtrack. He's both aware and not aware; he'll never have a thought of 'oh I loved Ford' because that is IMMEDIATELY repressed. He can't even admit that. It doesn't fit who he's supposed to be, it's vulnerable, and we can't have that. This triangle is more repressed than a fucking gay Catholic priest. He's both emotionally literate and completely illiterate because any emotions or situations that don't fit his fictional self gets immediately suppressed/skewed in perspective.
And that's how he's both good and terrible at manipulation, because he knows how to play people and can be very good at it, but his denial gets in the way. That's why you see him not talking about his dimension unravelling to Ford to ask him to make the Portal, instead of pulling the rug out under Ford; because it's vulnerable, it doesn't fit 'him as a monster' and even if it would get his way he can't do that. He mentally cannot even conceive of asking that and can't even in a way to himself accept that his dimension is unravelling and he can't do anything prevent it, can only take over earth instead. And he assumes that Ford will simply just bow to his will because that's what's supposed to happen, right? And it's the same as his lies about all the people he contacted over human history that were annoyed by him; he's too far in denial to even acknowledge that they didn't like him because hes supposed to be loved by all he tries to charm, that's why he puts the pages in to TBOB because he thinks it makes him look good, even if anyone looking at that goes 'yeah that's not what's happening'.
And this is all the most obvious with what he did with his dimension, his guilt around it because if pressed he will never admit those feelings, and he doesn't even admit it too himself; in fact when it's brought up by others such as time baby he gets angry, because his denial over the situation becomes questioned. And it's only ever one instance, that you see Bill admit to vulnerability, to admit to being actually aware of any of all these underlying feelings, and that's the moment that he shares unprompted about Euclydia with Ford, in response to Ford's own vulnerability... in which he indirectly calling himself a monster.
And it's all so fascinating, because if his denial is ever properly cracked enough, oh BABY you know that glass tower is going to shatter, everything is going to come down like a house of cards, and Bill will be left in the wake of everything that he's done, with nothing to shield him emotionally. And so isn't it better to be in denial? To deny he killed his dimension? Doesn't it hurt less than to admit all along it was guilt, it was insecurity, and that after his dimension burned, he's razed civilizations to the ground in denial and self-destruction?
post previous to this (similar vein)
#hugin rambles#hugin rambles gf#gravity falls#the book of bill#TBOB#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#billford#gravity falls meta#anyways uhhhh yeah been thinking bout bill clearly a lot. but. yeah#back to bill rotating around in the brain hours again whoops#but yeah christ this man is... built on denial#like yeesh where do you even begin in therapy because you begin to tug on it and it all begins to fall down around you. and youve had#trillions of years of denial. its second nature to you its muscle (mind?) memory.#i keep being like man this triangle need therapy- oh wait hes in therapy#but yeah. ford made him feel safe. feel connected. and bill was vulnerable with him. first time in trillions of years he was honest.#and then it all came crashing down and Bill did what he always did; into his glass tower. and he assumed always always assumed#that sixer was going to come back (he needs to come back) because they all love him (sixer loves him doesnt he?)#and Bill could offer him anything. and then Ford didnt come back and you see bill get abusive and upset because it wasnt supposed to#be like this. its not supposed to and he had suddenly lost the only person he had ever felt accepted and safe around. and suddenly that#worship-that love- it was something hes starving for even more acutely but he cannot even admit it#man bill you fumbled him sooo hard rip
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I truly have no patience for "criticizing a creative choice is disrespectful" as a statement. If you can't tell the difference between sending hate or harassing creators/fans, vs. saying "I didn't like this and here's why" you are an idiot. And on the flip side if you're a creator and someone says "I didn't like this" without any sort of personal attacks or hate involved, simply on the basis of critique and personal preference, and that makes you feel bad enough to stop creating then maybe you should step back and either get offline or make room for someone who has an actual creative vision that isn't "I want everyone to like me."
#queue#i feel like i keep saying this in different forms but#man. remember the weirdo with a wildly misinformed ogl take#one of their friends tried to get me to stop being like you can dislike this without making up weird lies#and ultimately sent me hate after i ignored multiple asks so i blocked them#and i checked them later and like. they were the sort of person who caved to every. single. anon. just groveled and cried and capitulated#and yeah the realization that they thought this was the CORRECT behavior to be spineless and without perspective#was truly a damn bitch you live like this? moment. like real talk anon hate cannot change my mind#because to be perfectly honest i perceive myself as so vastly superior to anyone who sends anon hate it's like taking direction from an ant#(considerate and polite anons with reasoned statements? yeah i'll listen but like. if you just don't like me. sounds like not my problem.)#like. obviously criticism doesn't FEEL good it's not SUPPOSED to but if it's an argument and not an ad hominem attack? it's valid#and an artist worth their salt should be able to understand this is how the world works. get offline if you're upset - that's valid!#you're allowed to AVOID it. you just lack the power or right to shut it down.
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it’s so funny that anya and daisuke are always drawn together n ppl act like they’re close cuz thru the course of the game almost every time there’s any Group Discourse jimmy is the one who sides with anya against swansea and daisuke. anya and daisuke’s relationship is mostly nonexistent but we do see her and jimmy being mostly very cordial with each other. idk. i’ve been thinking abt it a lot cuz i’ve just been replaying and rewatching and trying to pin things down for myself. it’s a little disheartening tbh that all of these characters are constantly mischaracterized by the loudest people in the fandom cuz it’s creating this whole society of people who played a different mouthwashing than the one i did. and whats REALLY so fuckin funny abt all this is that more ppl are shipping jimcurly and apparently THAT’S where all of the “media literacy” problems are coming from. like, no, i understood all the beats of the game just fine and i love all of it. i just also wanna see two guys who suck for each other fuck about it
#mouthwashing#like no i dont have a media literacy issue. you however might bc you missed that everyone on the tulpar is a victim#the game reaffirms time and time again that CAPITALISM is thr big bad and not jimmy. jimmy is a victim as much as he’s an awful person#shipping has. so little to do with understanding thr themes and symbolism and motifs in the game LOLLLLL#this game is NOT just about jimmy being a rapist and anya being his victim#jimmys misogyny is also extremely overblown by the fandom#his thoughts abt anya are wholly misinterpreted as Simple Hate rather than the complicated bundle of shit it is#anya is also more than a rape victim and boiling her down to her assault is fucking insane#but yeah man. the people minding their own business shipping xyz are wrong#and you with your fandom addled brain are completely correct actually. youre better than me (Sarcasm.)#like guys. curly used the same manipulation tactic on jimmy that was used on him to get him onboard#these characters r so much more than a rape drama soap opera n its so fucked that its been boiled down ot that#YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FEEL HUMAN PATHOS FOR JIMMY.#jonah.txt#mw txt
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