#this was such a struggle ill be real
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Being an artist is just drawing your favorite little guy in a Leyendecker painting
#my art#dragon age#da#solas#solas dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#this was such a struggle ill be real#anyway my favorite part is his custom staff i like how i designed and rendered it#this was supposed to be more adventurous but it just ended up as a normal semi-painting whoops
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looks at hair slicked back megu I Could Fix Him
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#real talk he was near unrecognizable 2 me before i coloured the hair and eyes#spent a good hour struggling being like this is not my beautiful boy Who Are You but we got there eventually#first he looked like eden n then he looked like th ace attorney guy n a billion other Anime Boys With Exposed Forehead#had to use another layer 2 draw on his bangs to make sure it wasnt an issue with the face#sure enough it Wasnt the face it was simply the universal truth that megumi is not meant to show forehead on main :/#the essence of fushiguro megumi is in the bangs i dont make the rules sorry <3#i will always think the bangs suit him more i think but i have come around on him w his hair back somewhat#peeled megumi u can stay ill allow it#just not when sukuna does it smh#also side note just this kind of comparison piece drawing a char with hair down vs slicked back sent me RIGHt back to yoi u have no idea#like i know fr a fact i did this w yuuri#twice even
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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Rue Bennett, Euphoria, Season 1 Episode 7 "The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Pee While Depressed"
#real life#life#struggle#series#drama series#euphoria#rue bennett#cassie howard#jules vaughn#maddy perez#kat hernandez#fezco#nate jacobs#lexi howard#cal jacobs#chris mckay#zendaya#sydney sweeney#hunter schafer#alexa demie#barbie ferreira#angus cloud#jacob elordi#maude apatow#storm reid#eric dane#mentally fucked#mental health#mental illness#actually mentally ill
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Oh, to sing the ancient blessings of your people next to another man
#gay things#for real though my synagogue still says my name for mi shebeirach and it's almost been a year since#i started really dealing with my health issues worse.. i don't feel like i deserve it#because I'm chronically ill#and I'm okay overall.. many days are just a struggle#and it won't ever fully get better#but i feel lucky that they care. and i love my community.
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🐍⚔️
#he didnt even get to eat his dinner. what the fuck narcolepsy cmon#ill be so real i rly struggled w this one. so fun fact the scarabia dorm is SO STRANGE at this angle it looks weirdly empty#still. the night lighting in scarabia is so peaceful its wonderful. i want to have a sleepover there#twst#twstファンアート#twistedwonderland#twstsilver#jamilviper#ruggiebucchi#floydleech#riddlerosehearts#jadeleech#kalimalasim#azulashengrotto#we also hit 50 books ordered earlier today!!!! i need to make an official post abt it this weekend but i cannot thank u all enough! <3#i need to add a sticker to the orders as a thank u. i gotta draw another super cyute silver ^_^#if we somehow hit 100. looks into the distance. perhaps ill announce a stretch goal of another lil item. something fun#i must ponder#suntails
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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Stardew Valley Discourse: A Summary
shane: i have depression
person: aww poor sweetie im so sorry ily im always here for u
shane: *exhibits symptoms of depression*
the same person: ew there's no excuse for that
#some of yall.........#i have been in this fandom for like a week n im already sick of folks doing this man dirty#“but he doesn't even keep his room clean after you marry him” he has DEPRESSION#“he should fix his problems before getting into a relationship” if we all waited for our messiness and struggles to magically disappear#we would be waiting for the rest of our lives.#do people with mental (or otherwise) health struggles not deserve love and understanding too?? did i miss something???#like bruh if you personally can't deal with someone's baggage that's fine you don't have to sacrifice your own wellbeing for theirs#but at least stop blaming people for HAVING A MENTAL ILLNESS#sdv shane#shane stardew valley#shane sdv#stardew valley#.....but also relevant to real life.#my yapping
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DC X DP PROMPT #26
Danny had to go. Preferably somewhere far away from the shit storm that his home dimension currently is. So he does. Phantom travels the multiverse looking for the perfect dimension to call Home. The search is long, and isn't very fruitful, but he learns something new nearly everyday!
He would have been fine to continue this pattern of exploring a new dimension, label it unsuitable, and move on. But Danny had managed to find himself in a Situation™.
Eight-year-old Timothy Drake is dead. He died alone in a mausoleum of his parents' neglect. Tim has not been dead long, in fact, his skin had yet to cool. This simple fact, paired with the unimaginable coincidence (I think not) of Danny entering this dimension directly on top of Tim, lead to two (2) miraculous things happening.
One; Timothy Jackson Drake, son of Janet and Jack Drake, was now a full-fledged ghost. Something that normally would not have happened in his situation.
Two; Danny James Fenton, apprentice of Clockwork, was now bound to the newly departed body of Tim Drake. Having portaled directly into the body as its original soul left it caused Danny to become trapped.
Tim cannot stray far from his body, he must now guide Danny in How To Be Tim.
#dc x dp#dpxdc#danny phantom#tim drake#tim dies :(#danny gets stuck in time body#wonder how that happened#*side eyes clockwork*#danny is a full 23 year old man now stuck in the body of an 8 year old#this totally wont lead to issues#danny resisting the urdge to parent the ghost of the body hes inhabiting#its a real struggle#events play out generally the same#batman when he finds out tim is a two for one special :0#“school is over ill totally post more” me when i lie
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thinking about Menelaus in Iphigenia at Aulis and these two passages hit the hardest to me
#just. the struggle of wanting helen back and the price to be paid for that?#his brother's child. his brother's baby. the girl who calls him uncle#like clytemnestra said- what if it was hermione?#its just so telling that the moment iphigenia is said to be in aulis is when mene changes his mind- its all too real now#even comedically saying they could kill calchas before he can spill the beans to the greeks and get Iphigenia to safety#and his complicit silence after agamemnon makes up his mind? when he no longer opposes? gutwrenching#menelaus#agamemnon#euripides#euripides still has shit menelaus characterization but ill give this one as complexly interesting#iphigenia at aulis#xan’s oresteia posting
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potential builds to draw: maybe mumbo's vault from this season? or etho's s7 monstrosity?
i went with the monstrosity which ended up being a lot more difficult than i thought lol. i have a couple more screenshot i wanna draw too so i might add to these at some point
#the thing is like. usually with fanart of bases - the builds are always supposed to resemble /something/#wether thats an irl architecture style or a fantasy style or a real material and physics and whatever. which makes fanart easier#cause you can use that as reference#but with the monstrosity thats kinda impossible cause it doesnt really. resemble anything#its like if there was a style of architecture that was just 'minecraft' it would look like this i think#this doesnt make sense at all sorry ill stop talking now#anyway. i love this build very much but drawing it is a struggle lmao#my art#hermitcraft#ethoslab#etho
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Going through the motions
#quotes#sad thoughts#sad poem#sad quotes#bad poetry#poems on tumblr#life quotes#mental illness#dailywomen#early morning#im going insane#keep going#qotd#depressing quotes#short poetry#short story#story#cutt1ng#struggle#real life#student#questions
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happy very late birthday silly duck 🦆
i need to let the world know i fw genderbend AUs
#it was supposed to be more refined but i was ill so#you can see where i was struggling thats so funny omg#hastag developing chronic pain#okay real question#what do u believe koby’s eye color is#lucifyrs art#one piece#koby#coby#op koby#op coby#helmeppo#op helmeppo#genderbend#genderbend one piece#genderbend koby#genderbend coby#genderbend helmeppo#fem koby#fem coby#fem helmeppo#art
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I feel so distant from my body. I’ll look at myself in the mirror and not believe it’s me. It doesn’t look like me, it doesn’t feel like me, it can’t be me. I want to look in the mirror and know it’s me and not a stranger. I’m living my life from a camera not from my own eyes.
#bpd stuff#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd symptoms#mental problems#mentally fucked#actually borderline#borderline blog#bpd problems#bpd struggles#depressiv#i dont feel real#derealization#bpd shit#bpd traits#deppressed
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Rue Bennett, Euphoria, Season 1 Episode 7 "The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Pee While Depressed"
#real life#life#struggle#series#drama series#euphoria#rue bennett#cassie howard#jules vaughn#maddy perez#kat hernandez#fezco#nate jacobs#lexi howard#cal jacobs#chris mckay#zendaya#sydney sweeney#hunter schafer#alexa demie#barbie ferreira#angus cloud#jacob elordi#maude apatow#storm reid#eric dane#mentally fucked#mental health#mental illness#actually mentally ill
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this is perhaps telling about where I am in my fic and how it's gonna be eventually written but if there's one thing that's canon to me about roommates/best friends to lovers Valgrace it is that they VERY liberally throw "I love you" around as friends. BUT. once they are romantically together, it takes them much longer to be comfortable with "I love you" declarations because it means that much more. they will grow into saying it casually/frequently again as their relationship progresses (married valgrace says it as a generic response to most things), but early-relationship valgrace puts so much weight on love that they can't make themselves say what they mean. I genuinely don't think the first "I love you" gets dropped until a little late into their early relationship and 50/50 whether from an impulsive "oh my god that's my boyfriend he's so cute oh my god I love him" moment or an emotional, crying-their-eyes-out declaration because they were so touched about something sweet that boyf did and then it's like "oh fuck now I'm crying no it's okay it's just that I love you and want exactly this forever please let me keep you I love you I want you I need you always I love you". before any of that it's all just "I want this. you and me. us. be mine. I really like you. I adore you. this is real. nothing has ever been more real to me than you and my feelings for you. I don't think I'll ever stop feeling this way about you and I don't mind that, actually. Not if you don't."
but yeah that's the valgrace that lives in my head
#spoilr I guess but this is actually the last thing im struggling with in method acting#cause they have been playing with reality the whole time but now its confession time but it doesnt feel right to have them say I love you#not yet anyway! so they have to talk with this language gymnastics but with enough nuance to say FOR REAL THIS TIME#leo: I love you [NOT CLICKBAIT THIS TIME I SWEAR]#dw Ill write that epilogue of them growing into saying it one day lol#leo valdez#jason grace#valgrace#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#writing lore
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