#this was definitely an experience for me considering i have never written hcs before

[autixel]

Please tell me about your Dresden files head cannons and such like pls I need some one to talk about him with

:O

Alright so. I didn't really think of much for Murphy, like my main issue is whatever Harry and Murphy had romantically going on, I don't really have problems with her as a character. And this is my first time doing headcanons so the formatting is off.

Marcone:

Actually kind of a bastard. He's friendly with Dresden because in the long run it's convenient. Convoluted convenient but Marcone keeps playing the long game.

I really don't think his sexuality matters to him. He has bigger problems. Life-forms are chess pieces to him. If he wants to be successful both on earth and in the never-never, it isn't really useful to contemplate that part of him.

Marcone has kinda had it with Dresden, on the outside he's so professional and so collected. I think it's customer service.

(honestly why does Marcone act vaguely flirty with Dresden? There has to be more reason to it, based on Dresden's descriptions of him (even tho Dresden is an unreliable narrator...))

Is the cold, calculating, magnificent bastard we think he is, and take it some steps further.

If I were to completely ignore canon I would say that Marcone deep down is really anxious. Maybe he shoots up from bed some nights in dread from dreaming about how badly his new enemies could plunge Chicago, the States, and the entire world. (Hehehe and he doesn't know what else would make everything so much worse). Do you think he ever gets that way?

A GINGER. HE HAS RED HAIR AND I REFUSE TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE. HE'S GRAYING GLORIOUSLY.

Murphy:

How often does she question God? How far does her faith go?

90s pop enjoyer

THAT'S ME IN THE CORNER

THAT'S ME IN THE

SPOT

LIGHT

LOSING MY RELIGION

I choose to believe that she has really badass scars, and also retrospectively embarrassing ones from battles.

Dresden:

Horny in the most inconvenient way possible.

Have you ever thought about what Dresden does with the non-human entities that come onto him? He. Says. No. Every single time. He's actually very interesting like this. He's dealing with creatures that use beauty as a weapon AND HE KNOWS IT. And because he's so lonely and touchstarved his libido is like hmmmmm potential...

I think if he were to just stop, no world to save, no one in danger from forces that he would be best against, no plots using him, he would realize how miserable he is.

So many times has he told his friends to blindly trust him even though he wants to tell them the full truth, and the guilt gets to him.

What he really wants in life is a safe place, a safe life with Maggie, Thomas, McCoy, Karrin, his other friends, and his magic. No monsters to slay, no Chicago on the verge of destruction, nothing out to harm him and his family. Just a calm, happy life.

When he loves people he really, really does love. He wiped out an entire species to save his kid. He held a torch so bright for Susan that their love still had an effect on him for over a decade.

Ignoring canon I would say that if he were real I'd beat him up. Idc if he'd wipe the floor with me I would add to the horrors inside his mind. I'll have to convene with the board (my irl friends) if I am truly that terrifying.

Mainly because I am sick of his love life idc idc he needs friends not this bs.

Mab:

Now you might be thinking, Autixel, what the fuck are you doing? Writing about Mab before Thomas? Molly? Any other more shown character?

But Mab is becoming one of my favorites and it's about how she rules.

I think one facet of her mindset is ends justify the means. She does what she must for the result that matters. This is why Maeve would have never worked. She didn't get that there is a bigger game to it all, or Maeve saw it and didn't care.

When she goes to the human world I kinda imagine her in some 1950s fashion, the sleeker dresses remind me of her.

(hehe rule of 3)

Molly:

Girlypop is getting on my nerves 🔪

There's nothing tremendously wrong with her I'm just sick of her crush on Dresden. Both need some hot cocoa and a good cry not whatever the fuck is going on.

Plays guitar, with her wintry promotion she can play an electric guitar, yippee!

I want to believe that she would have made my immortal levels of bad fanfic, maybe one got infamous and was never finished.

Where and who does she swing? Kinda getting pan vibes.

You cannot convince me that she didn't have a raccoon tail dye once.

Thomas:

Edward Cullen in the most derogatory way possible.

Bitchless but canon hates me :(

Hope that fulfills expectations :)

There's more thoughts in the tags

[hornsent-consort]

Andrew Kreiss x Reader general HCs

written with male reader in mind

Warnings: he/they for Andrew, mental illness, meltdowns, mention of violent behavior/force (there will be a cut before the section including these mentions), lightly implied neurodivergent Andrew, no beta reader (we die like men)

🪦 Andrew has never felt 100% attached to the identity that everyone else assigned to him. Everyone at the manor avoided him, not including his small circle of people that checked up on them occasionally.

🪦 when you had came along to the manor, you were immediately drawn to him. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but it was just something about them that captivated you. You speculate that maybe you see a bit of yourself in him.

🪦 Andrew tries to force himself into social situations with you at first. He’s not shy by any means, but he’s definitely not kind. The main reason why he keeps himself removed from everyone else is because he doesn’t want to offend anyone.

🪦 it is extremely easy to be Andrew’s friend. They value loyalty and honesty more than anything, but there’s no other requirements. Unless you’re super disrespectful and gossip a lot. Obviously, it’s a no for him.

🪦 the best dynamic I think you could ever have with Andrew is one that leans more on the platonic edge. He enjoys playful banter, but he’s not good at conveying any other emotion that isn’t disdain. If you two could go the rest of your lives pretending that you both hate eachother, he’d consider that a valuable relationship.

🪦 he acts drastically different based on his status. If he’s sick, he has no shame or embarrassment. He is much more blunt when it comes to his needs, but he isn’t as snappy like he usually is,

🪦 tired-drew is very similar. He’s much more physically affectionate, but he has a very sour way of speaking to you. If you were anyone else, your feelings might be hurt, but you simply just get sour right back at him.

🪦 there’s never really a time where he is “jubilant”, especially when you’re early on in your relationship. The only time you can get close is when you smother him. They will allow you to do such things to them, but you will need to be able to get your hands on him first.

🪦 Physical touch is good when he’s receiving, but do not ever expect for him to give you physical affection. He would much rather give you things and spend time with you then have to hold you.

🪦 he is extremely insecure, you need to remember this. As much as he prefers the platonic aspects of your relationship, he still needs to know that you do in fact love him and that you’re not just lonely.

🪦 he asks you a lot of questions, and he will remember all of your responses. He wonders a lot if he was just your only option, so the questions will be exactly like those stupid questions that people will ask their significant others.

“If I switched brains with ______ and you had to choose between me in their body or them in my body, who would you choose?”

“You in their body.”

“So you think they’re more attractive?”

Under cut: potentially triggering topics such as mental illness, mental breakdowns, meltdowns, and potential violent behavior (lashing out at a partner for crossing boundaries)

🪦 there are a lot of things you need to deal with that aren’t exactly positive, aside from the insecurity. Mental breakdowns and Anxious meltdowns are frequent, and they will need their space for awhile.

🪦 people who experience these can one hundred percent get violent. It does not matter how much Andrew loves you or how much you love him, do not be the person that kisses someone while they’re in mental distress. You both will end up getting hurt.

🪦 Andrew will not be afraid to use force against you if you get to close to him or touch him in any way while he is in these states, and he will not feel sorry. He might feel guilty, but unless he actually gets aggressive or violent, he finds no need to apologize.

🪦 in a lot of his meltdowns or really any time he isn’t doing good mentally, he does get the encouragement from his mind to just leave you, and he will at that moment. You can try to use logic with him, but it will not work. All you need to do is wait for this to pass and be there for him when he comes back to you (it takes him about a day or two, nothing crazy).

🪦 he cannot be with someone that isn’t patient. He is a patient person when it comes to people with similar needs or issues as him. If you are someone who experiences any type of stress or mental breakdowns similar to him, he is extremely patient.

🪦 this man does not have much self respect, but if they do notice that you two will do nothing but hurt eachother, he will walk out. You two can stay friends maybe, depending on the situation, but he will not stay with someone who will do nothing but hurt him or vice versa.

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

I wonder if there was ever a significant conflict between Eomer and Lothiriel, and Eowyn and Faramir, in regards to their differences in culture. If there were, I'd reckon between Lothiriel and Eomer they'd be early on, whereas with Eowyn and Faramir they'd take longer to emerge. I read a theory that Eowyn would actually quite like Faramir considering her "not like other Rohirrim", after all she endured in Rohan, and with her desire to be special, but as she grows more confident in herself and regains pride in her land, stuff that perhaps she didn't notice before or felt flattered by begins to bother her. I'd imagine it must also flare up for both when it comes to raising the kids, and in lawful rulings where Gondor and Rohan justice differs.

So I am OBSESSED with this whole line of thought! It hits on a couple of things that have always stood out to me about Farawyn — things that I notice every time I read the text and are always kind of floating around at the edges of my thoughts when I contemplate them, but that I’ve never really contextualized or merged into a broader theory/HC. Those two things are:

1. Faramir is the one in the book to give voice to the belief that the Rohirrim are “middle men” and that Gondor, in the process of declining, is becoming more and more like Rohan. He never explicitly and fully disclaims this belief and, thus, potentially still believes it to be true even after he marries Éowyn (even if we assume he doesn’t think of HER that way).

2. When Éowyn first sees Faramir, we’re told that she “knew, for she was bred among men of war, that here was one whom no Rider of the Mark would outmatch in battle.” So her very first reaction to this total stranger, before he really says or does anything, is to elevate him above every single man her homeland has ever produced. That’s pretty huge, given that the Rohirrim have legendary warriors in their ranks and think of themselves explicitly as “men of war” whereas Faramir isn’t even the strongest warrior in Gondor and specifically does not like to think of himself as a warrior at all. To me, this dismissal of the Rohirrim gives off just as much bitterness toward Rohan as it does respect for Faramir, someone she doesn’t know and doesn’t know anything about yet.

So, consistent with the theory you referenced, both sides of their relationship start off in a Rohan-critical place (that’s not a judgment on Éowyn — she would be justified in feeling embittered toward Rohan given some of her experiences there — though I do judge Faramir for it, sorry Faramir fans! I still like him anyway!). I can definitely see her, in this frame of mind, liking the fact that Faramir thinks she’s different/better than other Rohirrim.

But somewhere in my subconscious, that’s always rankled for me because I have also always believed that Éowyn is intensely proud of Rohan. She has always read to me as someone who would get into a bar fight with anyone who disrespected her country. The way she talks about being a shieldmaiden just drips with pride and defiance, and that’s core to her identity as a Rohirrim. It’s deep in her heart. So would she really go the whole rest of her life holding onto all that anger (especially because we have reason to believe that the things she was most unhappy with in Rohan were changed after the war — Éomer’s reaction to Gandalf telling him why Éowyn was unhappy seems to indicate that he Gets It now, he doesn’t seek to interfere at all with her making the decision to marry Faramir, and Gríma is dead)? Would she still be so dismissive of Rohan or tolerate anyone else who had those views?

I don’t think she would. And if her views evolve and Faramir’s don’t, then there is some kind of conflict coming. That’s not to say that I think their marriage would be unhappy or that this would split them apart, but they have to reckon with it at some point, right? @emmanuellececchi has written a fic where it’s clear they’ve had this conversation and successfully addressed it — Éowyn kind of jokingly holds it over his head that he ever thought that stuff, and he obviously doesn’t think that way anymore— and I absolutely LOVED it. But I think it would also be fascinating to look at it from an intense and dramatic angle by showing her perspective start to change over time and then giving us a front row seat to watch those initial, potentially ugly conversations about it.

I don’t know if whoever wrote the theory you saw ever made a story out of it. If they didn’t, then someone should, and nobody writes intense, emotionally fraught Éowyn like you, my friend! So if this is a line of thought that you’d ever consider following into a fic, I could simply not be more thrilled and would BEG you to tag me in it.

[daemon-in-my-head]

Heeey, I'm back. With another Gort hc. Cuz I can.

Soooooo, to me personally, that man isn't ace. I don't even think he's aro. But before u come for my throat; he defo sees sex primarily as a tool and his relationship with his own sexuality and emotions is 100% screwed up. Let me elaborate.

As mentioned before, he sees sex as a tool. Sexuality in general is a luxury, a past time, something unnecessary, but even so, he does have desires himself. He simply never acts on it unless there's a greater reason or ulterior motive as he considers it a waste of time. Like yes sure he could pull some ladies or lads, he's charming like that, but why would he if he could also tinker and or work on his fun lil experiments and achieve his goals. There's a lot of suppression going on, keeping his cool, being in control of himself.

It's not that he wouldn't want to, it's just that he wants smth else more. And that he can't allow himself to slack off or indulge in any way, shape or form before he's reached his goal. Before he remedied his past, all that (referring back to the whole 'this suffering has to have a meaning otherwise he would've been simply miserable and his pain would've been only pain and that's not a truth this man could ever accept).

In regards to his romantic feelings, well. They're there. He's capable of romantic love. It's just that his love is essentially a violent obsession. He has absolutely no understanding of boundaries or any healthy relationship examples to go by, so what he's capable of is closer to violence rather than tooth rotting romance. But nevertheless, it's still romantic rather than familiar or queerplatonic. Also that man's committed alright. That's his whole stick. Committing to smth. He's still crying over Durge. He's certainly capable of attachments, intimacy, committing and catching someone's interest, just the way he goes about it is 1000% not alright. The whole possession, obsession, tyranny bit, yk. Basically, it's incredibly horribly unhealthy but still romantic

Pls note tho this was written by someone who's very much aro so my credentials are 0. I actually do not know what romantic love is (from experience, i know like 50 definitions) but let's pretend I do and that I am right in my assumption.

Anyway have fun with that ig

I like it when they're broken in ways that are near incomprehensible to people who aren't quite as broken, apologies lmfao (also to my blorbos cuz I really am making their lives hella miserable on purpose)

[trans-librarian]

Good Mornings and Model Kits

Tags: M/M, Fluff, Domestic, Established relationship, Team Fortress 2, Medic, Engineer, EngieMedic, Science Party, German Engineering

WC: 1.5k

CW: None this is the fluffiest most self indulgent garbage I have ever written. We die like mercs choking on the sugar of this fluff. You could consider a line or two hinting at suggestive buuuuut it's nothing explicit

Translations:

Mein Leibe - My love

mein bärchen - My teddy bear

A/N: Sooooooo I always promised myself that I wouldn't start writing fanfic because like idk I told myself that it would be cringey to write fanfic and that anything I wrote would suck but to be cringe is to be free and this image was too strong in my brain not to write and gods I gotta let myself be and create what I want instead of what I think is good enough.

I was super inspired by @creedei and his engiemedic art. I was low-key inspired by these posts: (I also love popitdontdropit on AO3 they're transmasc engie fanfic will make you ascend to a higher plane)

https://www.tumblr.com/creedei/727483531127914496/sketch-dump (third image)

https://www.tumblr.com/creedei/721589317420695552/cute-aggression

https://archiveofourown.org/users/popitdontdropit/

Also its not noted in the fic or relevant but my engie is transmasc I need everyone to know because its my favorite hc. I fell in love with creedei's engie. He's mad gender euphoria for me as a transmasc guy with the same body type (also because i simp hard for medic so seeing the character I project onto with the character I like is just *chefs kiss*). And pyro who is mentioned in passing uses they/she pronouns because I like when this shit is as queer as possible and I get to choose what happens in this story.

I'll probably also cross post this on AO3 at some point and link it here. Anyway, Enjoy!!! *runs and hides*

A quiet dawn begins to trickle light into the Red barracks. All is quiet on a seldom day off for the Red Team. Medic drinks in this treasured time. With a cup of tea in hand he turned towards the infirmary where the notes from his most recent experiment await review. He definitely needs to reevaluate the actual size of a gorilla liver before putting it into Demoman again. The muffled sounds of snores creates a lulling tune that echoes in the halls until...

tink tink tink clunk

tink tink tink clunk

"Hm?" Medic's ears perked up to the quiet sound

click click

tink tink tink

"Vhat is zhat?" Medic turns to follow the sound.

A tiny symphony of clicks and clacks emanates from deep in the halls past the common area and the majority of the bedrooms. Medic follows the sound through the hall.

tink tink tink clunk

tink tink tink tink clunk

tink tink clunk

Medic finds himself at the Engineer's workshop.

"He never usually vakes up zhis early on a day off at least not vithout vaking me for some.....private time" Medic smirks to himself thinking of Engie and his previous day off exploits in Engie's room, Medic's room, the infirmary operating table, the shower... Medic gets lost for a moment in a glow of those steamy memories and shakes his head bringing him back to reality. "Vonder vhat he's doing?" Medic thinks and slowly opens the door and sneaks into Dell's workshop.

Dell's back is facing the door as he sits at his desk. The small bulbed lamp on his work desk illuminates a halo of light around the man. The soft sweater he's wearing adds a comforting warmth to the glow. An etheral god tinkering with his realm. Like a moth to a flame, the medic slowly crossed the room beelining to the one place where he slots in perfectly. Once within reach, Medic wraps his arms around Engie leaning his head on Dell's shoulder placing a gentle kiss before resting his head.

"Good morning mein leibe" Ludwig cooed "What's got you up so earl-" tink "Ow! vhat vas zhat"

"Sorry darlin' sometimes the little bits go flyin' because of the nippers," Engie turned "Where did you get hit?"

"Why?"

"So I can kiss it better." Dell smiled.

Ludwig groaned at the horrible pickup line and smirked "I got hit right here" and points to his mouth.

"I'm very sorry" Dell chuckled. He grabbed the Medic's chin with his gunslinger with the lightest touch only he is capable of and gave him a gentle kiss. "What brings you by the workshop this early, dumplin'?"

"I was getting some tea and I heard the sound of..."

tink tink

"Ow!" another small piece of plastic hits Medic in the forehead. "...Zhat. I heard zhat and started following and it brought me here, mein bärchen. Vhat is zhis anyway?"

"Sorry again. The lil bits that come off the model kit pieces can go flying in unexpected places."

"Model kit? I didn't know you even were interested in these let alone where to find them."

"Pyro turned me on to these last time we went to town. They begged me to take her to this store with all these fancy plushies that are imported so they could get a new one for their collection. Real quality y'know. She ended takin' a while but ended up choosing this nice bear fox thing that I learned is called a tanuki and then there was this other one that was an armadillo and I was thinkin' about it but I realized I would never use-"

"Sveetie. You're rambling"

"Thank you" Engie laughs, "what would I do without you?" He places a hand on medics cheek and places a kiss on the other. "So Pyro showed me these model kits they have and they said I would love these and I grabbed a couple to keep 'em around. This is the first chance I've had to put one together."

"Interesting. Vhat's it going to be?" The Medic looks at the subject of their boyfriend's focus and sees....well a lot of pieces that will make something? Small red and black pieces of plastic twinkle under the work lamp. A large pile of injection mold sheets loom next to Engie's work area. Pieces are in various states of progress some starting to take shape like limbs.

"It's gonna be a robot. A lot of these kits are different robots couldn't tell you much because I can't read the Japanese on the box, but it'll look neat when it's done based of the pictures." Dell informed his boyfriend as Medic snuggles closer to listen to the Engineer tell him about his latest project. "This piece is gonna be one of the arms and it bends like this so you can pose it and change out the hands. And this is gonna be the leg."

"Can I stay and vatch vhile you vork?"

"Of course, moon pie!"

Ludwig pulls a stool over behind Dell so he can stay in his current position arms wrapped around the engineer sinking slightly into his plush yet muscular tummy and rest his head on his lover's strong shoulder.

The symphony of click and tinks resumed as Dell settled into a new rythmn of work. The sound of Engie and Medic quietly talking, giggling, or just enjoying the intoxicating calmness together.

Ludwig watches Dell's hands deftly click the plastic pieces together. He marvels at the precise and delicate movement of the gunslinger. The same robotic hand capable of crushing bone and tearing metal also able to pick up fragile things with ease truly is one of the greatest miracles the Medic has ever seen. He can't help and feel so much love when with Dell. He could just...

"Gah! Ludwig, did you just bite me?" Engineer cried out grabbing the side of his neck.

"I couldn't help it." Medic chuckled "You looked so perfect and it's so cozy. I had to bite."

"You're lucky I love you, moon pie"

"I know. Love you too leibe"

Dell refocuses as a faint set of teeth marks bloom on his skin.

tink tink tink clunk

tink tink clunk

tink tink tink clunk

click click click

click click

clunk

"Leibschen you put the thing on upside down."

"Are you sure? this looks right, dumplin'."

"Look at the picture the angular part of the kidney shaped piece should be pointing towards that half frisbee piece on the big piece"

Dell picks up the instructions and squints closely at them. Ludwig reaches his hand over and turns the upside down instructions right side up.

"Oooooooh. I see what you mean"

clunk click claclunk

"Thank you, sweetie"

tink tink clunk

tink tink tink clunk

click click

"Finally finished" Engie and Medic look at the little robot model in all its completed glory. The small figurine shined in the now brighter lit room each piece sanded perfect and each sticker placed precisely. The angular crimson robot sported a long bazooka in one hand and a clenched fist on the other arm. The sleek robot stands posed with one fist raised triumphantly.

"Let me try" Medic gently picks up the robot model and begins to fiddle with it. He pops out the gun hand and puts in a fist. He bends one leg while straightening the other completely. The arms are folded in front of it. After, carefully balancing the model on the table. Medic reveals the robot in a Katosky Kick. Dell and Ludwig chuckle looking at the cutely posed robot. They look at each other. Such a nice moment together. Engie leans forward and kisses Medic lovingly.

"Thank you for spendin' time with me, darlin'." Dell cooed warmly, "havin' company really made my mornin'." He gently places a hand on Medic's cheek and strokes it with his thumb.

Medic places a hand over Engie's. "Of course, my bärchen. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my morning."

Dell and Ludwig bask in each in this moment. Engie looks at his lover and sees the passionate and ambitious doctor he always fell for and keeps falling for every day. Medic sees the strong and beautiful inventor that fought to be here in more ways than one.

"Now vhat?"

"I don't know. Wanna go make a real robot?"

"I've got the perfect spider monkey brain I've been saving for a rainy day!" Medic squealed "You get the supplies. I'll get the brain and bring it back here" Medic planted a hard kiss on Engie's temple before running off.

[chaseprice]

hi!! hope i’m not a bother. i just came across u and i wanted to ask something,,,

basically, i joined the life is strange fandom in 2018 so i never got to experience the pre-bts era, meaning i didn’t get to experience what rachel was like to the fandom back then or see the different interpretations of her.

i did some digging and i found some fan content of her from 2015-2016 & i’m absolutely infatuated with all aspects of the fanon version of her, especially her personality & how she looked. i totally wanna embody her. also the love is strange vn was so interesting to play, i love how she was written. i’d love to know more!

i stumbled across ur blog while i was doing my digging and i saw an old long post of urs saying how bts didn’t live up to the fandoms expectations, as almost everyone perceived her differently.

sorry for all the yapping LOL but what i basically wanna ask is,,, how *exactly* did the fandom perceive rachel back then (2015-2016). what were some popular headcanons for her? things you guys even considered to be canon? what were some of your own *personal* headcanons? (can be silly, realistic,,, just anything you thought resonated with her)

do you have any favorite arts from that time period that you thought really captured her? what were your hopes for the prequel/rachels character before it was released? what did you want to see in terms of story? was rachel’s style, appearance, & personality extremely different than what you expected? what did you expect?

i assume that rachels treatment in the fandom was different then than what it is now. whether it’s better or worse, i’m not sure. i was hoping u could answer that too😞. recently i’ve just been seeing constant hatred or lack of care for her character so i’m starting to think that if bts was written differently and based on the fandom’s interpretations instead, the hate now wouldn’t be this bad.

from my digging it seems like you guys had alot of fun sculpting rachel’s character on your own, and the interpretations were probably more realistic than what decknine put together.

anyway i’m sorry for the yapping essay on this random saturday, most old lis accounts are dead & i didn’t know who else to ask☹️. just trying to relive what you guys experienced the best i can. hope i’m not bombarding you with this. thank you so much if u respond !!

hiii u def did not bother me, i am not in a position to answer all of these questions, but although it makes me feel ancient, it's cute to see so much passion for rachel and pre-BTS fandom opinion, so i'll try answer some and for the rest (art, hcs, etc.) im just gonna have to direct you to my archive* (will continue under the readmore)

*(tumblr archive is so broken on mobile so you gotta go on pc for this, but also there's so many gifs from that time so it will Definitely slow down your browser). i was insane and 17 years old so like, just excuse all of the cringe content i guess. you can click tag and filter it by either #lis #rachel amber #amberprice or whatever to try and find stuff like art. and i got into lis sept 2015 so that's like, as far back as it will go, but i was fully lisbrained from 2016 through 2018)

to be honest, in alignment with pre-bts thought lmao, rachel is whoever you want her to be. there was less of 'this is a correct objective fact about her personality/history' and more 'yeah, this is an idea the fandom really likes and has become fanon, most likely because it is a nuanced and entertaining and realistic interpretation of what we have seen of her character in lis1' which means people whose opinions conflicted with that might've be contested/laughed at/unpopular, but they weren't wrong per se. there were plenty of people i'd criticise (and ridicule) back then for implying that this teenage girl was evil, and being a teenager myself back then, i'd call them morally reprehensible and cancellable and whatever, but tbh, as an adult now, i can just see that it was simply a boring interpretation of her character informed by misogyny

i'd disagree with the notion that fandom treatment of rachel's character was better before bts, back then there were plenty of people seemingly excited to characterise her as emotionally manipulative, a cheater, deserved what she got, etc. as well, bc tbh, the story did leave room for that interpretation, but it left room for so much more as well. i feel like bts just really locked in on a certain story they wanted to tell plot-wise, and didn't choose to explore a lot of the questions fans had about rachel as a person. it's hard to turn the ambiguity of a friendship turned situationship over a period of 4 years into a playable experience for an audience - so they didn't. regardless, it got people thinking about rachel more, putting a spotlight on her, hence increased attention both positive and negative. i feel like there's just a fundamental difference between what lis1 fans enjoyed about the potential for her character and how she related with chloe and the world around her, and what deck9 wanted to portray in bts (yes they hit the astrological headcanons, the charmingness, her rebellion, the emotional conflicts... but it personally felt hollow, contrived sometimes, i suppose). but there were a lot of people who loved bts (i enjoyed a lot of parts of it!). just, in my opinion, some of those were quite different people from who loved lis1, and with that wave it brought a lot of emotional immaturity to the fandom (like... ship wars, really? that was an insane change to fandom dynamics for me lmao, but maybe i was just spoiled by surrounding myself with people whose takes i respected)

anyway i highly recommend also that if you're hungry for that kind of content, read fanfiction on AO3 by the old fans - by Mogatrat (TON of rachel centric ones there), explosionshark and tippytypewriter, chicknparm (though Cusp is written post-bts, it's informed by pre-bts characterisations), vicepoint (me hehe), def many more good ones out there those r jus my friends so they come to mind first, e.g. i liked homecoming by kriegersan back in the day, but you could def find some more by sorting the lis ao3 page by kudos and reading the older ones that are highly rated featuring rachel. and lastly, my gf wrote a beautifully worded blog post called "The Assassination of Rachel Amber by the Cowards Dontnod and Deck Nine" which gets into some of this from a media crit perspective (not about fandom) in a very eloquent way thru comparison w twin peaks and i highly recommend that

rachel hcs that def started way before bts: skater rachel, stoner rachel, punk music listener rachel (but also like, fleetwood mac cranberries cocteau twins grungy hippy stuff rachel too), rachel's parents being distant and still living in california, curvy thick rachel, things that i've accepted as canon but were def created by diff people: bri explosionshark hc'd that rachel paid for chloe's sleeve, mogatrat (i think) hc'd that rachel initially went to get her nips pierced with chloe (that's a longtime fan hc now idk who started that one) but chickened out at the last minute, i think she also hc'd that chloe made the earring for rachel which is cute too

[merakiui]

MERAAAA I HAD A 3AM BRAINFART WHILE READING MANWHAS AND I JUST HAD TO SPILL IT OUT RN!

Ok so yk how we have the current manwha au for genshin? Yeah lets start a different version of it, maybe where the mc is a villainess but is actually smart and maybe aria like with a mix of Cayena (The villainess reverses the hourglass and The villainess is a marionette, idk if you read them but if you haven’t I definitely recommend)

So lets start this a little cliche, lets just say your the youngest daughter of a powerful Emperor and lets say your father was Zhongli (I kinda want him to be our dad in this au totally not because I want Ganyu and Xiao to be my siblings).

In the novel “Rose amongst thorns” it was described that the villainess had the knowledge rivalling the God of Wisdom, filled with questionable curiosities, an appearance fairer than the moon, a voice comparable to sirens, although stubborn as her father and a heart cold as ice. It was written she killed herself when the accusation of her poisoning Lady Lumine, a beautiful woman possessing a rare type of magic (light).

Like here is a small part of it and yet again im not a writer.

“No matter how much she pleaded everyone turned a blind eye to her pitiful pleads and tears of innocence, even her own family refused to look at her nor help her.

With that the fair maiden took off and ran through the endless halls with the guards shortly chasing after her trail. She had only then stopped by the room of the deceased empress, her mother who had sadly died a few days after her birth.

Taking the dagger that was hidden underneath her skirt, that was gifted to her by her no other than her father, she took heavy breaths as she took the dagger out of its sheaths, slowly facing the blade towards her with shaking arms and a blank face with red under eyes still slightly wet from the previous crying.

The door suddenly bust open to see her only brother and sister there with guards behind them, before her older sister Ganyu could even peep out a word, the villainess abruptly stab’s herself with tears in her eyes and a yelp of pain.

Her brother dashes through the room towards her with her sister quickly trailing being him and quickly takes out the dagger that was directed to her chest.

In her last moments she felt numb, her vision started getting blurry she could hear the silent plea of her brother and sister to hold on and not die, the sudden heavy footsteps that certainly belonged to emperor, in her final moments and breaths she whispered loud enough for the people around her to hear

‘I wish to never be born into this family again for all you done nothing but bring me to my death’

and with that she took her final breath.

It was only then a 2 days it was discovered that the youngest princess was no more then innocent the poisoning was done by a daughter of a influential Marquis household, it was said the family had begged for forgiveness but in the end they had experience the wrath of the Emperor.

The Imperial family hasn’t had her funeral not yet ready to burry her, then on the year of XXX, the year of the rabbit she had her funeral and to remain asleep in a glass coffin for everyone to admire her beauty and to finally lay rest in her eternal slumber.”

So like I said im not a writer but that’s something from the “og” novel.

Since she was the youngest she had been the last one to inherit the throne and considering her brother is the youngest Yaksha and Ganyu being an assistant to the Liyue Quixing, I don’t think she won’t be getting the throne anytime soon. Plus its not she wanted it anyways with all the responsibilities and shit.

(to the people who are to add more ideas for this au please make sure Xiao and Ganyu won’t have any romance with Darling, I would like it to be very platonic I don’t want either of them to be a Derrick)

Oldest- Ganyu

Middle- Xiao

Youngest- Darling

I hc her being reincarnated with her previous memories (both her past lifes cuz she was the og!villainess) at the age of 12.

She promised herself that she will not die in vain but live a peaceful life, and get revenge on the people who had wronged her.

For that she started distancing herself and started to eat inside her room and did most of her studies privately.

Of course that wasn’t un noticed by her family. When they started to ask her why she hadn’t been showing up to dinner, she only answered that she wasn’t really needed and its not like she was important to them anyways to why should they bother snd meddle with her private affairs?

I hc she learned how to sing and act in her past life so at night she would sneak out and preform on stage with a alias as “Siren”. (Ofc the people don’t really know how the princess look like considering she was extremely sheltered by her father)

-

-

-

-

Anyways yeah thats it, pls add some ml recommendations I could only think of the fl’s pass and shit.

Although can Aether be one of the mls? I dont wabg him gone in this one.

-🌿

Oh, that’s so good!!! Xiao and Ganyu would be so protective of their young sibling!! :D It would be interesting if she performed with Xinyan, Yun Jin, or Barbara!

As for male leads, Aether would be a good male lead! He’s such a sweetheart! Ayato and Childe also strike me as interesting male leads. Thoma would definitely be the childhood friend! Kazuha, Kaeya, and Dainsleif could also be great male leads. Aaaa it’s difficult to choose because all of the male characters could fit as a lead!

Maybe Childe is the type who falls for her and is so set on proposing that he tries to see her in person, only to be turned down and shooed away by Xiao because he just doesn’t trust someone like Childe to marry his young sibling. Ganyu won’t say it outright like Xiao does, but she’s also a little iffy about Childe. He’s infamous for all sorts of wild reasons.

[i-need-air]

Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs Part 2.

Summary: Part 2 is here! While in part 1 it was mostly adoption and how he'd behave with you as a roommate, part two is him ✨ realizing things ✨ followed by how he'd be in a romantic relationship.

Word Count: 2k words [ oops, I did it again ]

Notes: So I said it'll be out in a few days but three [3] people asked me for part 2 and I'm a sucker soooooooo!! I could've just written a long ass fic but whatever, I thought I'd make it shorter in headcanons... hah lol right. Enjoy!

Part 1 here!

× he's a wild wolf so he's very active; like you need to understand he needs to go outside if not he'd get impatient, more aggressive, snappy, so once you took him on an easy hiking trail near your house and he loved it so once or twice a month you both go together to different places [ he demands it ]

× it's hard to keep up with him bc he's literally genetically engineered to be better than any very fit human being but he slows down for you

× morning runs at 5 a.m. bc he's insane

× is also a grandpa

× watched all documentaries on any streaming platform you could provide to him, also loves reading

× as months pass and you start to have your routine in order, word comes to you that an acquaintance is looking for a security guard at his mechanical shop two streets away from your house

× you casually mentioned it to Bakugou because he was starting to act anxious whenever you'd leave the house, so you assumed he was extra bored

× seriously, the house was spotlessly cleaned, he cooked amazingly and was occupied with your old laptop and going around the city to explore, but you guessed he wanted more independence?

× little did you know you were right but so wrong lol

× so Bakugou stared at you intensely and asked "Where?"

× it was as easy as telling him the location, him nodding and you thought he'd consider it; you didn't put any pressure on him because he already did so much to help around anyway

× well guess what bitch, next day he comes up to you saying you gotta co-sign his contract [cuz fuck society] meaning he got the job

× he was perfect for it because tall, intimidating, muscular wolf guy? who'd even mess with him? do they have a death wish?

× well, even before this he started to be... soft

× but once you really did show him you support whatever he wants to do, you give him his freedom and liberty of choice, he just reaaally changes, man

× he gets touchy, like his hands stay one second longer on your skin, he uses any excuse to have them on you, even his eyes follow you everywhere

× like c'mon, it's obvious but you didn't wanna put too much thought into it because we're respectful here

× not like you had a big fat crush on him and slowly started to realize it too

× sike bitch he knows

× you think his super-hearing didn't catch the way your heartbeat spikes up every single time he touches you? *please*

× i think he knows before you know

× meanwhile he is working to discover his feelings too

× so your relationship slowly turns into a couple's like relationship but without anything official and of course no kissing or such [ sadly ]

× would get jealous easily

× basically because nothing is talked between you two and deep down is insecure

× why the hell do you smell like other people? was it just a hug or something else? hell, why would you even hug people when he's right there??? just ask and don't touch some extras????

× another thing he does is getting very close to you while you talk to somebody else; scoffs and glares at them too

× ok so!! gifts! he really appreciates any gift you give him but scolds you if you do because you genuinely don't need to do that

× of course he just scolds you and calls you an idiot so I do hope you already learned his language

× it basically means that you shouldn't have done it, he's really grateful but seriously you shouldn't have

× like that one time you saved up money to get him a good computer and he forgot how to speak for like an hour

× the softest thank you ever afterwards

× still sounded rough but he was shocked as fuck

× one thing that remained in your brain were his friends, as sometimes he'd mention them

× so you took it upon yourself to find them, of course with his permission

× gets genuinely overwhelmed and plays it off saying he wouldn't mind knowing where those idiots ended but you didn't miss the way his voice trembled

× for you to find them you needed names and any information he could provide so that's when he, after a long silence and a mesmerized look on his face, started really talking about his life

× which was fucked; won't get much into detail but he was indeed in a fighting ring, people came and bet on whoever was stronger, he even had to fight his friends, everything was filled with abuse and their conditions were subhuman...

× just overall awful

× you couldn't help but hug him tight, feeling him shake in your arms

× with a hesitant voice he asked if you really did think there was a chance to find them

× just couldn't believe how amazing he felt in your arms

× or how your determination that night made his heart clench and took a big weight off his shoulders

× anywho;;;; after his first paycheck he takes you out on cute dates

× never calls them that, just demands you dress up [helps you out cuz boy got style] and takes you to a nice coffee shop or something

× AND on your fifth not date cuz you're not official but there's this weird tension between you date he finally kinda s n a p s

× you honestly didn't expect the waiter to flirt with you, he came out as very pushy and even if you were a lil uncomfortable you smiled and brushed it off

× when the waiter suggested giving you his number the sandy blond hybrid growled

× which i shit you not made the whole coffee shop freeze

× and you froze too

× but neither of you could say anything because the oblivious fuck kept talking

× basically joking about how you should keep your pet in a leash, to which you got up, threw some money on the table, grabbed Bakugou by the hand and leave before he'd rip someone's head off

× it only took you to touch Bakugou's arm to calm him down as he followed behind you wordlessly

× so you stood outside, angry, deep red eyes on your figure

× and silence

× his hand still in yours

× it was warm and amazing and you felt angry but your heart was beating loudly; angry at the waiter that you wanted to go full Karen on and get fired but excited because that growl shook you to the core, as if you could tell it was territorial and it was because of that pig flirting with you and did Bakugou Katsuki just lace his fingers with you?!

× "Oi." he interrupted your thoughts

× he turned your frame towards him and pulled you [kinda harshly] into him

× you'd make a comment about it but brain empty, just Bakugou Katsuki blushing

× "You're mine, you get it?"

× skdjflglykshs

× it sounded like he asked but it was a demand so oops you're his now ok bye

× like I said, boy isn't dumb so he lowkey knew you felt something too

× legit from there on he's just soft as fuck

× has a hard time opening up but visibly tries for you

× still continues to be a pain in the ass, Bakugou Style, but with a loving teasing attitude behind it

× his eyes give him away all the time

× they shine whenever you're in his field of view so congrats because, and this is the best part:

× WOLVES MATE FOREVER 💕💓💞💗💝💟

× oh yeah, he's yours, no takebacks

× he isn't one to half-ass the relationship; you're his now and he'll do anything for you

× big time touch starved it hurts

× because he is shy

× so whenever you introduce him to hand holding and cuddles, he can't get enough

× not big on PDA [ and not recommended since human-hybrid relationships are kiiiinda frowned upon but it's getting better ]

× although at home it's another deal

× seriously cuddle him; he's big into the protector vibe so he's a big spoon almost exclusively unless it's to sleep on top of you

× speaking of! accept that even if your relationship isn't that intimate, he'd still hint about sleeping together in the same bed

× so you better catch on when he does because he'll just click his tongue and call you needy

× while dragging you to bed

× sleeps holding you, his nose in your hair or in the crook of your neck

× unless it's summer then stay on your side 💅

× you know those kisses that just scream "I can't get enough of you"? that's his whole kissing vibe in a sentence

× hell, even the gentlest kiss gives that vibe away and it'll 100% leave you breathless

× doesn't have experience but is a very fast learner

× pays very close attention to your body language

× really into biting your skin enough to leave marks

× wear his hoodies

× no, I'm fucking serious, wear them now

× his chest puffs and he turns into a blushing mess when you do it the first times because his scent is on you

× scenting is a big thing for him so of course he's gonna love it

× 10x more territorial because now he has a mate to protect

× jealous but trusts you

× still very jealous though

× let's all pretend he is definitely not scenting you before you go out because it's in his nature and it is embarrassing

× the first time he tells you he loves you it's when he's feeling vulnerable

× the search for his friends is still on-going, he feels less than adequate as a providing mate, is pissed at the world for treating him like an inferior animal when they created him, everything is piled on his shoulders and whenever than happens he closes off

× you notice immediately

× will not tell you at first

× it's only when you go to bed and he turns his back to you when you really know it's bad

× even if you fought before, he'd angrily snuggle you at night-time

× now it's so different

× hug him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, pull a blanket all over you both and big spoon him, he'd start shaking and talking in no time

× will hide his tears from you but you'd know

× "You're the best fucking thing that happened to me, [Y/N]... I—... Shit... I love you so much."

× neither of you slept that night

× excuse you? drink some water and pray to jesus;;; you talked about feelings, ok? communication is key in a relationship, puh-lease

× [ i have this whole nsfw hcs post already cookin in my brain so maybe I'll make it happen cuz y'all know he has a mating season and all that comes with it 👀 ]

× back to being children of jesus here

× thanks the moon, the heavens and all the gods for putting you in his life; boy didn't believe in destiny but deep down he thinks you were meant to be

× you still better wash the dishes or you'll get your ass kicked.

Extra:

× you did find some of his friends, little by little, and even if he acted nonchalant, like k das cool, it was obvious he was extremely happy

× so they did get adopted too

× you got in contact with them on social media and they were all very excited about meeting

× so it was a chaotic meeting with a dog hybrid called Kirishima and a mouse like vibrat yellow guy called Kaminari

× they all were looking for Bakugou too since they were very worried about where he ended

× Kirishima shed manly tears when seeing Bakugou

× as they instantly welcomed you in their small group, they informed you both that the majority of the squad was adopted and they're in contact, while they're still actively looking for the others

× cue to the softest expression you've seen on Bakugou in public followed by "That's good"

× silence

× shock and silence

× Kaminari turning to you and whispering "You did this" with a hand on his heart, lips trembling as he wiped an imaginary tear

× insert instantly snappy Bakugou

× when everyone laughed and continued to make plans to meet up with the others, he just looked at you conversing with them, soft expression again on his features and his chest warming

× "Oh! Look, he's doing it again! Quick, take a pictur—"

× "SHINE!"

[greywindys]

hey, sorry for the random question, but do you know if Murdoc’s ethnicity and background has ever been confirmed? Like he’s British and I think Jamie described him as Caucasian before, but I thought there was talk of him being Mexican? Or maybe something else? Or maybe it’s just a popular headcanon. My memory’s really bad and I was wondering if maybe you knew. Maybe it’s never been canonically established and I’m just mistaking a fan theory for fact, I’m not sure. Or maybe there’s something in canon that implied it? If you’re also not sure I apologise, just figured I’d ask just in case!

It's okay! Again, no need to apologize about these kinds of questions.

I remember it like it was yesterday....Jk, jk. I remember a bit, but this was my experience and it's completely possible someone else had a different one. It's also possible I could be forgetting things. I'm open to discussion about this, but it's cool you brought it up because there's definitely some Fandom History™ attached to it.

The tl;dr answer to this is: no. You can stop reading here if you want lmao.

...But you'll definitely see a lot of people with the hc or who jokingly talk about it like it's real to the point where you may question whether or not they're really joking. At this point, it's a pretty popular hc and almost universally accepted, but it's also relatively new. I don't think anyone gave any thought to Murdoc's ethnicity prior to the fandom revival in 2017. There was some exploration of his mother, but usually only enough to add to the tragedy of Murdoc (i.e. his mom as a drug addict, murdered, abandoned him intentionally...basically she was kind of a trope etc. etc) and no one ever explored it much beyond that. Fans only started exploring Murdoc family post-2017, around the time where more fans became more interested in writing him as a complex character.

I've always supported it as a hc. There aren't any straightforward hints but Murdoc's been associated with Latin American imagery and experienced significant character moments (i.e. meeting Cortez in Mexico) in South and Central America, and considering Gorillaz' inclusion of supernatural elements, it's easy for me to conjecture that some part of him is connected to that part of the world. I began endorsing it with others during P4 and made plans to write it into The Answer later that year which I think also helped to popularized it. Of the top of my head, he's been portrayed by fans as Mexican, Peruvian, Colombian and probably more.

In general, I think a lot of fans saw the hc as an opportunity for representation the same way some fans also hc 2D as mixed-race. There has been push back against these hcs for various reasons. In Murdoc's case, it was from fans and haters. Fans because they didn't think the Latino hc was "realistic enough," and that if we want to create representation, he should be Indian or Pakistani. I think this would be great too! But disagree with the tone of this critique - if there's possibility for something, then it's possible, and people can work with it and enjoy it as they please. Gorillaz is already wildly unrealistic soooo lmao. And I'd also refer those people to my point in the previous paragraph. Haters (at the time - 2017/2018) wanted him to be white, cis and straight for reasons I probably don't have to explain.

Murdoc is described as "chronically Caucasian," in a character sheet from P1. I don't know if this was written by Jamie or not tbh, but either way, it doesn't disprove the hc to me because being Hispanic and/or Latino isn't a race and there are many white passing folks who identify that way.

tl;dr again: Murdoc’s ethnicity has not been confirmed, but the Latino hc is popular. No hc is impossible though, and we should all have fun creating what we want to create.

[g4rous]

Can I see hcs for Tatsumaki and Fubuki with an adopted child that is heavily implied to have had an absolutely terrible life full of pain and suffering before they took them in? The child is very quiet, timid and fearful, has nightmares and cries out of fear and emotional distress often and always wants comfort and physical affection but is too shy and scared to ask for it.

Heyy yes ofc! <3 I may have kind of written a lot sjsjsj I couldn’t help it this idea made me feel soft and sad at the same time :’)

Here I somewhat wrote separately for them (though it’s all connected so it’s not of much importance), hope you enjoy 💕💕

The esper sisters taking in a child

(headcanons)

Tatsumaki:

-The question “how did they come across the child in the first place” I’ll leave to the reader’s imagination, but in any case Tatsumaki was initially hesitant

-It’s not like she had anything against them (on the contrary, deep inside she has a soft spot for children), instead it’s just the fact that taking in a child was a huge responsibility, and she is usually rather wrapped up in her hero duties. That and the fact she knows very well how it is to be a neglected kid, something she’d never want to cause any child.

-Wouldn’t say that directly though, and would definitely make up some excuse that may even sound rude and cold-hearted at first

-“Taking them in? Do I look like a caretaker to you? I have bigger problems to take care of.”

-Be as it may, with a little persuasion… She would slightly give in. Not all the way through though, still she would “promise” to take the child in only temporarily if they really don’t have anywhere else to go until someone who would be a better caretaker arrived.

-And with confidence I announce that this plan was bound to fail sooner or later. Once that kid enters her home, it’s their home too and they’re staying. Anyone who actually thought Tatsu would stay true to her seemingly pragmatic plan was sure as hell mistaken

-Was it the way that kid looked into her eyes with pure distress or just the uneasy memories coming back to her from when she was left alone in the cruel world of adults too that made her soften up? Probably both

-May act grumpy but is actually quite fond of the child and despite her rough exterior she shows a softer side later on

-Definitely relates to the child due to the chilling traumatic experiences from her own childhood

-Isn’t the best with words, but deep inside she is trying her best to be sensible

-Overprotective and treats the child similarly as she did Fubuki when they were smaller

-Tries teaching the child to be more assertive, however it’s obvious that’s not going to be easy. She usually solves every problem with physical force and isn’t afraid to raise her voice on anyone who she considers even the slightest hindrance, yet with the kid she can’t afford to be so brash.

-Even the slightest trigger makes them shake with tears in their eyes, something quite hurtful to look at

-The only thing she sees when looking at them is her own self 18 years ago, with that same distressed expression as all those cruel scientists treated her like trash

-Here she couldn’t do anything but place her hand gently on the child’s head. It almost seemed odd to see her eyes soften up like that, and despite her sympathy she felt rather awkward too. Was she even doing this right? Is it going to help? She can’t tell, she can’t remember the last time she felt something as bizzare as a simple affectionate touch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Fubuki:

-Was at first hesitant just like Tatsumaki, but soon enough her sympathy kicked in as well

-Was most likely the one who persuaded her big sister to take in that child in the first place

-Same as with her sister, the look in that child’s eyes definitely woke up a lot of compassion in her, even if she didn’t outright say it. Thoughts like “the kid is way too weak to even look someone in the eyes” pretty soon got replaced with thoughts like “I don’t know what happened but it must’ve been awful, huh?”

-Acts like a role-model and a more “relaxed” big sis figure

-Tries showing the child how to be assertive too (however in a more communicative, smoother way whereas Tatsumaki does this more aggressively)

-Still has a recollection of unpleasant memories of Tatsumaki’s overprotectiveness that caused her to isolate from others and grow distant, so she’s not pushy and intimidating as she may seem to strangers

-Depending on the rate at which the child grew more comfortable around her, at one point got lowkey hyped bc of a potential new blizzard group member

-Though, momentarily after realizes that it may be heartless of her to put them into any dangerous situations after all they went through. Well, she’d still be happy to see the kid just hanging around in the Blizzard Group, perfectly out of danger

-Upon taking in the child’s timid nature, she prefers to spend quality time alone with them, away from any people that may cause them any distress

-Takes them shopping with a promise that they could buy whatever they like

-It often makes her feel better when she’s down, so why not give it a try?

-Tries her best not to give in to the urge to spoil the kid with sweets and cute clothing (and probably fails)

-Is the first one out of the two that noticed the things that triggered the child, and the first to give a hug (not easily though)

-We’re not going to lie here, she felt just as awkward as Tatsumaki felt the first time she showed physical affection since in reality she wasn’t shown much affection either in her life

-Sure, she’s almost always surrounded by people and the Blizzard Group does have a close relationship with her but not often do they take a moment to give her a long, warm hug and tell her to let out anything that’s bothering her. And even if they did, there is no guarantee she would allow herself to be so vulnerable in front of the people who look up to her strength and confidence the most

-Similarly as with her group, she doesn’t want the child to see her in any vulnerable states and wants to be an image of someone untouchable and burning with charisma

-However, this is different. Is it worth it- to show her soft side after so long? Will it help, will the child feel at ease even a little bit? It’s better to try than stand there helplessly and watch the poor thing with tears trickling down their face

-She wondered: would she be any different now if someone was there to show her some warmth? Carefully wiping the tears off the child’s face, she looked into their eyes sympathetically. For a moment there it almost felt like she really needed a hug too

[fromthedeskoftheraven]

Tumblr Writers Q&A

Thank you lovely @cheesybadgers for the tag, this was interesting to do! 💕

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)? None, if I’ve got them I post them.

2) How many WIPS do you have right now? None.

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both? I’ve never turned down a request, I always think it’s fun to see other people’s vision for the characters and it’s so rewarding when you can make them happy by realizing it. When I was writing a lot, most of my work was from requests but I did sometimes write ideas I’d found that I just liked myself.

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have? None.

5) How many fandoms do you write for? Lately I have written for Pedro/Star Wars/I guess technically Narcos since I wrote a little Carrillo ficlet?

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for? I spent three years being an active writer for the Hobbit fandom and loved every minute of it...it completely shaped my Tumblr experience, gave me most of the followers I have, and brought some people into my life who are dear friends to this day. That said, I feel like I couldn’t write a Hobbit character now if my life depended on it, I think I’ve drained that well dry.

7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other? I’ve only ever written reader inserts and I think one (?) OC. That’s partly a choice to cater to what plays best on Tumblr and partly because I just find reader inserts fun. (Never used y/n though! 😅)

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for? None, really!

9) Do you read fics as well as write them? Oh yes! I love reading fanfic and I have strong feelings about supporting other writers, it’s a huge part of my fandom experience.

10) What is your favorite genre to write for? Fluff, always. Romantic fluff is the most fun thing in the world for me to write.

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)? I’m always a sucker for only one bed, friends to lovers, fake dating, arranged marriage, huddling for warmth. I don’t know if domestic bliss counts as a trope, but I just eat that up too.

12) What do you do to get motivated to write? Honestly, as someone who’s completely driven by external motivation, this is the struggle. Readers who are excited to read what I’m writing are the best possible creativity fuel. I’m a publisher, not a journaler, so I don’t write for myself.

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write? Smut. I read and enjoy a lot of deliciously explicit fics, but I find it too intimidating to attempt myself.

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested? I think it would be a lot of fun to write for the Triple Frontier boys or Cassian Andor, but I’ve never taken a crack at them.

15) How long have you been writing fanfiction? Six years ago I made a Tumblr account and held my breath while I clicked “post” on my first-ever fanfic.

16) Did you read fan fiction before you started writing? Not so much, actually!

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well? I use AO3 as my backup since I’ve always written everything directly on Tumblr and didn’t want all my fics going down with the ship if the hellsite ever implodes.

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of “Drabble”, “One shots” and “fics”? I honestly have no idea! I’ve always just called everything I write fics 🙈

19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other? Definitely one-shots, maaaybe stretching to two or three parts. I have an idea that I love but haven’t done anything with because I can’t do it justice with a one-shot and I lack the attention span for a series.

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why? Nope, but again I don’t tend to do multi-chapter fics.

21) What is one of your main “pet-peeves” as a writer on Tumblr? Anytime talented writers aren’t getting the recognition their work deserves, it drives me up a wall. And some fandoms are more clique-driven than others, so you see it happen a lot 🤐

22) Do you write at a particular time of day? Basically it’s whenever I have free time and feel inspired. It’s a lot easier now my kids are older and it’s not as much of a challenge to get time to myself.

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc to write or do you need silence? Definitely silence, I need to hear my thoughts.

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing? No outlines, we die like men. Sometimes I have scenes or bits of dialogue in mind, but I always write chronologically, so I sit down with an opening idea and just go from there.

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day? I really just post whenever I’m happy enough with the fic to share it. Sometimes I spend a while tinkering or letting it settle, but I also really like that sweet, sweet instant gratification so it’s hard to wait too long.

No-pressure tags for @seasonschange-butpeopledont @keeper0fthestars @darklingveracruz @insomniamamma @hnt-escape @moonlight-prose @princessxkenobi @mishasminion360 @supposedtobean80sgroupie and anyone else who wants to share!

[diavolosthots]

Hi there! I love your writing so much, your angst is one of my favorites to read because they always hit me in the feels. Can I request a hc or imagine (I can’t remember what they’re called) about Diavolo x Satan where Satan feels insecure because he thinks that Diavolo is with him as he was once a part of Lucifer, who doesn’t hold romantic love for Diavolo. You can add some smut if you want, I’m perfectly okay with the angst either way 😁!

I wrote this and posted it on AO3 first but here it is. Hope you like it anyway!

Warning: like 1 dust crump of slight NSFW if you look hard enough

Love's Poem (SATAN X DIAVOLO)

Love is such an unpredictable thing.It comes so unexpectedly and knocks you over, or it will come gently and embrace you in its arms. Love is also odd. You may feel it strongly, almost too overwhelming, you will find peace in it, almost as if a blanket is draped over your shoulders. Love may come in full force, or it will come agonizingly slow. In Satan’s case, love could’ve been anything, but it was always there, he noted. Despite his exterior and the picture people painted of him, he always wanted to feel it, to experience it, to have it… and only in his books did he ever find it. It’s almost sad, really, pathetic. Or at least, Satan thinks so. A millennia old being holding on to such a childish dream, and yet… he can’t seem to let go of it. He has hope for it and he longs for it, but he isn’t foolish. He won’t blindly reach out for it. “Patience is a virtue.” he says, even if he finds it hard to be patient for a lot of things. He craves to be in love so desperately, laying there day and night with his nose buried in a book that tells of things he has yet to experience. A poem. A poem is what he yearns to create with someone else; a poem of their lives together. 

In all his yearning and waiting and desperation, though, he failed to realize that the poem had long started to be written. He failed to realize its soft touches, its gentle glances, and its sweet words calling out to him. He was so preoccupied with the paper it was supposed to be written on that he failed to notice the ink creating words on it. When he finally did notice, though, it was neither calm nor overwhelming. It was there, and Satan felt as if it had always been, because it had been. Still, when he realized whom he held it for, he was taken aback. Diavolo was never someone he excessively thought about… or so he thought. Diavolo, too, took a while to see Satan in such a new light and only when the two of them shared a moment over some literature did the Demon Lord realize just how deeply he could feel for the fourth born.

But Satan was unsure. He was questioning the demon’s motives, and quite honestly, he was scared. Scared of giving his all only to be left in the dust. To him, as much confidence as he bears and he truly does, coming from the Avatar of Pride himself and all, to himself, Satan was no one special. He’s attractive, very much so, and of course highly intelligent, but he also realizes how much of a brat he can be, or a bore, depending on the day. Diavolo was a manchild with insecurities, and Satan had said that more than once. Yet, their relationship blossomed and Satan found himself quite attached to the man, and vice versa. Diavolo felt like he had someone to confide in, someone who gave it to him straight but also comforted him. Someone he could experience things with and have a calm, peaceful evening with every night. Satan appreciated being brought out of his room, in which he would otherwise have been holed up in, and although he wasn’t after Diavolo for the money, status, or fame, he also appreciated the extravagance that his life brought to him. They balanced each other out, in the most unlikely ways, and both of them knew it.

Still, on one some days, Satan felt more like a shadow than anything. “Lucifer will come by today” again. “You won’t believe what Lucifer told me earlier” yes he will. “Lucifer” this “Lucifer” that. He understands that the two of them are close, after all Diavolo considers the first born his best friend. It angered Satan, though. Was he not enough? Does Diavolo still have to bring up Lucifer when he knows how the former feels about him? It’s not for a lack of communication, either. Satan has voiced his distaste quite a lot and changed the subject on more than one occasion, but a part of him also feels terrible for wanting to keep the Prince’s best friend away. “Satan!” especially when the guy so happily calls his name. “Hm?” It was nice outside, although when is it not in the Devildom. It rarely ever rains or snows or storms, and the temperature is always perfect to the demons. Satan was sitting under one of the trees in the courtyard at the House of Lamentation, reading one of his many books although he had a feeling that won’t last long. “Hm? That’s all I’m getting?” The pout that graced the Prince’s lips made Satan smile and a soft blush tint his cheeks. He looks up at the man, pursing his lips up into a kiss and waiting for Diavolo to take it. This is what he means when he says he wants a romance like in the books he reads. 

Diavolo leaned down to give one to him happily before falling into the grass. Somewhere behind them, they could hear Barbatos gasp, probably because the butler knows just how clumsy his Lord could be, but Diavolo waved him off and laid his head in Satan’s lap, who laid his book on top of Diavolo’s face. “Hey! I came all the way here and I got the cold book?” “You disrupted my reading” all meant in good humor, of course. Diavolo pushed the book off of his face and reached a hand up to brush along Satan’s cheek, which made the latter blush deeply. He’s still not fully used to this type of affection. “Hm… you look so handsome today. Did you do anything special to yourself?” Satan rolled his eyes although he did manage to turn his head and kiss Diavolo’s hand before it moved behind Satan’s ear to scratch it. Satan groaned softly, shivering slightly. Diavolo knows damn well that that is one of his weak spots. “There it is…. Good kitten.” Satan knows it’s a mock and although he’s blushing profusely, he’s also flicking Diavolo’s forehead, making him laugh. “Watch it. Kitten’s can claw.” Diavolo only growled playfully in response. 

“Can you believe us? A few months ago you didn’t even like me.” That’s not entirely true, he was just vary of the Demon Lord for over a few millennia, “and then Lucifer told me to just go for it.” Ah yes, Lucifer. Satan held back the urge to roll his eyes. “And then he said ‘Lord Diavolo, you would be not only blind but also a fool if you let this opportunity pass’ because he knew way more than either of us did.” The hell he did. “And you know what I said?” No, but he’s sure that Diavolo’s about to tell him. “I said, ‘Lucifer, my friend, don’t you worry. I will never take your beloved brother and son without first asking for permission’” Satan’s eye is twitching now and he finally found it in himself to say something, too, “is that all?” Diavolo’s smile slowly dropped when he saw Satan’s reaction and he was genuinely confused, slowly lifting his head from the guy’s lap and looking at him confused, “yes? Is something the matter?” He’s trying. He’s trying so hard not to snap right now so he just closes his eyes and just breathes for a couple of moments, “you know Lucifer said that when you--!” 

A growl escaped Satan and this time he actually did snap, whipping his head around to look at Diavolo. “Yeah? He said that? Must be nice. Anything else he said? Anything else he would like to add to our relationship or does he want to include himself next?!” Diavolo just stared at him blankly for a moment, unsure on how to approach this, “what? No. No, it’ll always be just us.” Blatant. Fucking. Lie. “apparently not! It’s Lucifer this, Lucifer that, and if you want Lucifer that badly, you can go and get him. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to know that he ruined yet another thing!” anger is getting to him and the next thing he says was neither thought out nor actually meant to ever leave his lips, “you’re probably just with me to get back at Lucifer, am I right? Poor little Lucifer wouldn’t give you his heart so you go to the next best thing; me!” Diavolo was taken aback by that last statement and for a moment he just stared at Satan, his mouth hanging open, but it soon turned into a glare. 

“Is that what you think? That my feelings are a lie? If you believe me to be such a liar, why are you with me?” Because he loves him, duh. He hates how much he feels for him but he can’t stop it, that’s why constantly hearing about Lucifer drives him insane. “I only want you, Satan, and I thought I made that pretty clear, but apparently not.” Diavolo sat up on his knees and for a moment he thought the guy was going to get up and leave, but he didn’t. Instead, he slammed his hands flat against the tree Satan was leaning against, glaring down at the fourth born before his eyes soften. “Stop being so jealous of your brother.” “I’m not jealous! You’re the one who only ever talks about him when your attention should be on me!” No matter how nice Diavolo was being right now, Satan is still glaring at the Lord, who turned his head and nodded at Barbatos. For what, Satan didn’t know, but it was for something. “Look at me Satan.” His eyes turned back up to look into Diavolo’s gold ones, holding so much softness and love, “I love you and only you.” 

Satan rolled his eyes and he was about to push Diavolo off and away, but the latter cupped the blond’s face and kissed him softly before resting his head against his. “Lucifer is my best friend, yes, but you’re my lover and if I wanted to pursue anyone other than you, I would’ve, but I didn’t. Don’t be angry.” Although it is hot when Satan gets angry and if this wasn’t such a serious discussion, Diavolo would’ve definitely made a move. The blush returned to Satan’s cheeks and he tried turning his head away, but Diavolo wouldn’t let him. “No. Say it back. I know you do.” Satan mumbled it under his breath because he knows he loves the guy too. “What? What’s that?” “I love you too…” “a little louder, Satan.” The blond glared at him and Diavolo couldn’t help but laugh, kissing him again, this time a bit deeper before he grabbed Satan’s hips and fell back into the grass with him, making sure the demon landed on top. “I said I love you too…” He’s been atop Diavolo so many times, but every time he feels like it’s the first time. “There you go. It’s way easier being honest, isn’t it?” Diavolo’s hips playfully snapped up against Satan’s and the blond’s blush deepened, barely able to steady himself on Diavolo’s chest.

“Whatever… Just don’t forget I’m your only one.” 

[aonogifreactions]

Flower crown headcanons nobody asked for

a/n: hoooooo boy i went crazy with tHIS ONE JSDFGLSO i need help,, hc under the cut cus ITS LONG JFDOS bYE || beta read by my bff again ♡♡

✰ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Amaimon.

✰ Words: 1,4k

Rin:

He’s so fucking excited to do this and a bit nervous cus he probably hasn’t done that before.

first of all, he’s bewildered by the place you have taken him to. He’s never seen a bigger field full of flowers. He even feels bad for placing a blanket on the ground, thinking he’s probably gonna ruin some of them.

The atmosphere, the scenery is just too much for him- it feels so magical, surreal almost. Light blue sky with white, fluffy clouds, a huge field of flowers and his s/o... he swears he’s hallucinating.

He gets kinda confused when he gets some flowers on his lap. At first, he fiddles with the ends of the flowers, tries to make a knot and eventually sighs.

you giggle at him and show him the proper way of making a flower crown; honestly, he just stares so dumbfoundedly at it? it’s so damn cute and easy to do? how???????

and somehow he messed up?????

he doesn’t expect you putting that flower crown on his head though; that tiny daisies look so good on him, he almost looks like a real angel. he lowers his head looking on the ground and smiles softly, taking your hand in his; then, he chuckles.

“I... I really don’t deserve you, [Y/N]” he says quietly and kisses you on your lips softly; you can feel him smiling as he kisses you.

“Okay, [Y/N]! It’s my turn! I wanna make you a bomb flower crown!” His energy is back and he looks at you, grinning; you now notice his tiny blush. Not wasting any more time, you guide him a little bit and eventually, he made you a pretty flower crown with navy colored flowers.

He puts it gently on your head, smiling, “You look like a princess now. Honestly.. you are one to me.”

Yukio:

he’s honestly, impressed. similar to Rin, but he doesn’t show it as much. You can see his excitement a little bit though, the way he just looks around with a tiny smile is.. really refreshing.

he finds a nice spot under a tall tree, where he also places a blanket and sits down with you. None of you say anything, meanwhile he just.. takes in that beautiful view that’s in front of his eyes. He’s finally free and happy, plus, you’ve been with him all that time- He just feels so happy he might cry.

You wake him up from his trance by gently tapping him on the shoulder; he blinks at you, smiles, and says softly, “well... we’ve come here for a reason. Let’s do this.”

He’d probably looked up how to make flower crowns before he left, but he hasn’t actually tried it out, so now he finally has a chance.

acts like he doesn’t know how to do it, so he asks if you could explain it to him. meanwhile, you’re busy talking, he makes his own flower crown for you, nodding every time you ask him if he understood what you said.

for a first try, his flower crown looks very good - sure, it has some faults here and there, but he tried his best. he used red and white flowers and overall, it’s pretty impressive.

you look at his lap where the flower crown sits and confusion slightly takes over your face, “h-how did you... how did you manage to do it so well for the first time?!”

he laughs faintly, watching you; his gaze falls onto the flower crown as well.

“I put all my love for you into it, I guess” he murmurs to himself, hoping you didn’t catch that. He then put his crown onto your head and observes you blushing madly.

There’s something heavy in his chest, but in a positive way. He looks at you with pure adoration and love in his eyes, and then realizes... that it’s the first time in his life, when he feels loved and genuinely loves someone else.

Mephisto:

he doesn’t know how you managed to actually convince him to come, but hey, he’s here already and he’s gonna enjoy his time with you.

he loves seeing you pick flowers the most, actually; the way you just look so peaceful and happy... makes him feel e m o t I o n s.

although he’s probably seen such beautiful places already, it’s definitely a memory worth remembering; it’s also a moment when he can forget about his “worries” for a bit.

he’s been a long time on this world, thus he probably made and remembers how to make a flower crown; he pretends he doesn’t know how to do one though - he waits until you start explaining, then he’s just watching your delicate hands working on a flower crown; plus, your soothing voice makes him relaxed.

he’s amused on how silly that activity is, yet another part of him really likes this experience.

once you’re done with your flower crown, you stand up and hold it gently in your hands. He watches you and squints his eyes a little bit, trying to figure out what’s on your mind.

“Samael... The king of time,” you say calmly, your eyes wandering to Mephisto’s now smirking face as you addressed him with his real name, “But what kind of king would you be if you didn't wear the crown?”

he decides to play along and gets on one knee, lowering his head to make it easier for you to place flowers on his head.

“That’s right, darling. I’d love to get one.” he answers with his eyes closed. just as he feels the weight of the flower crown on his head, he gets up and twirls you around; he stops when your back is pressed to his chest. his hands then sneak around your waist as he whispers into your ear, “Now I am surely a king... but the king needs his queen, doesn’t he?”

Amaimon:

straight up says he doesn’t wanna go and that he can grow you flowers himself if you really wanna make that flower crowns so badly.

after 2 painful hours of begging him, he eventually agreed, but on one condition - you will have to make him food in a big, picnic basket. you couldn’t trick him though, since he promised to watch you make the food.

he insists he knows better transportation to the place instead of driving or walking, which is jumping from a tree to tree like a maniac for 15 minutes straight. you hold the basket for the dear life and pray he doesn’t drop you (spoiler: he won’t).

when you two arrive at the place, Amaimon slowly places you on the ground, letting you regain your balance. he then drags you by your hand to a random spot on the field and sits down, rummaging through the basket while you pick some flowers.

when you come back, half of the food is already gone and he looks at you with his usual, monotone expression. after a few minutes of silence, surprisingly, he’s the one to break it, saying, “mmm. those flowers are pretty boring, if you ask me.”

you pout at him, murmuring to yourself that you like the simplicity anyway. he hums in response, placing the pads of his fingers against the ground. suddenly, roots sprout near his hand, creating a wall full of different kinds of flowers - mostly colorful roses and the ones that are rare and in different parts of the world.

he cuts off some of them using his sharp nails, removes thorns and uses vines to tie them up together. you’re honestly speechless, considering that Amaimon isn’t the one that looks like a flower crown master (but he’s the king of earth... isn’t he?).

once he’s done, he looks at you, and then at the flower crown; he hesitates a little bit, thinking if he should add something more. he shakes his head, and with his still bored expression, carefully places his hard work on your head.

you blush, feeling a little ashamed of your own, plain flower crown. Amaimon however, snatches it from your hand and places it on his own head, saying, “mm, you look nice with that thing on your head. it’s kinda cute. now, make one for Behemoth. He seems like he wants one.” Behemot appears out of nowhere from behind a tree and sits down patiently, waiting for his very own flower crown.

the twins + meph and amai’s icons aren’t made by me! credit to the author! :3 headcanons have been written by me,,, just in case xD

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Harold Lauder

(My bad gif)(Requested by @poruchik-logy )

(These are a combination of before and after the pandemic so apologies if they’re a bit of a mish mosh of character traits. If you want specifics just let me know; i.e. hcs for before/after the sickness)

- You never really “met” Harold so to speak, you’d always just lived in the same small town and gone to the same schools your entire lives; your houses being only a few blocks away from each others. 

- You and Harold had always been pretty good friends, he was different from a lot of the other boys in school, he was a lot sweeter ...though that was most likely partially due to his crush on you.

- Truth be told, you were well aware that Harold had a crush on you for quite some time. You don’t remember when exactly it had became obvious to you but you do know that there had been an; initially, subtle change in his behavior; though you’d suspected that he’d always like you a little bit prior.

- The thing is, as much as it was obvious that Harold liked you; he never asked you out. And, well, if he didn’t ask you out but someone else did, who were you to turn them down?

- So you wound up getting a boyfriend who Harold; for obvious reasons, absolutely despised. You could see the disappointment on his face when you told him you had a date, and subsequently the annoyance and let down whenever your boyfriend showed up or you called off hanging out with him to be with said boy.

- But all it ever took to cheer him up was you later noticing that he was bothered, giving him a hug or holding his hand and genuinely apologizing for being so busy.

- You’re both around sixteen when he finally asks you out. You’d broken up with your boyfriend a few months prior when he came to visit and invite you to accompany him to the cinema. You happily agreed, causing him to wonder why he’d waited so long in the first place.

- Obviously, your date went well and you looked forward to seeing again after he gave you a shy goodbye.

- The two of you share your first kiss about two weeks later. Harolds a pretty shy guy, he doesn’t have a whole lot of experience so it takes him a little while to finally work up the nerve to do what he’s dreamed of doing for the past few years. That being said, it’s well worth it when you finally do kiss.

- You were sitting together in his backyard when he’d surprised you with a poem he’d written. While reading it, it became obvious that it was about you and once your eyes had scanned over the final word, you looked up at him with a smile, telling how beautiful it was. He smiled proudly; as well as a bit relieved, before it somewhat dropped and he slowly began to lean in.

- The kiss was long and slow and, well, perfect. It felt ...right and you knew that you’d made the right decision when agreeing to go out with him.

- It wasn’t long after that that the world turned to shit and you were left as the sole survivors of Ogunquit Maine....

- He loves pda though it definitely makes him a tad bit flustered. It really depends on what point in your relationship you’re at, what sorta affection, and when it’s taking place (i.e. if the pandemic has happened). 

- Affection in general makes him sorta flustered. He’s not incredibly used to it, especially when it’s coming from the girl he’s been in love with since he was nine years old. But don’t get him wrong, he loves it. 

- Cheek kisses. 

- Passionate kisses.

- Long, slow kisses. He cherishes every moment your lips are connected.

- He sorta loves when you sit in his lap whenever you’re alone together, especially if you lean down and press your lips to his.

- He’s very touchy when he finally lets loose; he always wants to be holding or feeling you in some way. Having you close to him is his favorite thing in the world. 

- He can cuddle in just about any position you’d like but he personally prefers spooning you. He likes being able to wrap himself around you and have you pressed against him.

- Every now and again he’ll play with your hair or trace shapes onto your skin, it’s both a way to comfort you and because he just has the urge to.

- Brushing his hair into place. 

- Pushing his glasses up his nose. 

- Pulling his glasses off so that you can kiss him better; and see his beautiful face without the barrier. 

- Getting poems written about you.

- Surprise gifts and “thinking about yous”. 

- He’s not a huge nickname/pet name user, he usually just winds up calling you by your name; maybe a honey if he’s trying to spite someone and show that you’re together but that's about it. 

- He kind of loves when you call him pet names, even though they throw him off and make him stumble over his words. 

- If you ask him to do something, he’ll immediately do it for you. You sort of have him wrapped around your finger so please be kind to him.

- He acts like an adorable gentleman with you, always using his manners whenever he can and saying sweet things to you. He’s really just the sweetest in general.  

- Lots of compliments. When you have a beautiful girlfriend, you have to let her know that she is every single day! 

- Picnics.

- Movie dates.

- The two of you can spend hours talking about literature and cinema and all that pretentious shit that no one else wants to waste their time thinking about it. He loves it.

- Sitting together and listening to music.

- Beach dates. You do live next to you ocean.

- Kissing in the backseat of his car.

- Motorcycle rides. 

- Was the jacket your idea? Maybe. Does he look cute in it regardless? Obviously. 

- Moving in together after the world turns to shit. 

- Sticking close to each others sides. He feels better whenever he knows where you are/can see you and you share that same sentiment. 

- He likes making the decisions in your relationship. He’s sort of always been told what to do; and bullied, so having a little bit of control and using the one thing he really values; his brain, makes him feel good. 

- He’s a bit stubborn; with certain things at least, which is just something you’ll have to get used to. Although, you can definitely sway him a lot easier than other people could. 

- He’s pretty good at pretending that he isn’t as upset as he really is. Even though you know him better than anyone else, you still occasionally just cant tell if he’s faking it or if he’s genuinely unbothered. 

- He’s sorta awkward when it comes to comforting you but he does his best. He wants you to know that he’ll always be there for you, even if there isn't much he can do. 

- You’re there for him when things get rough, rubbing his back when he pukes or listening to the worst parts of his day. He tries to not tell you too much though; at least at first, even if you assure him you want to know what's going on and/or that you want to be there for him too. 

- That being said, if you say the right thing, his resolve will shatter and he’ll finally let it all out. 

- Rough kisses when he’s jealous. The minute you’re alone, he’ll kiss the hell out of you and you’ll know exactly why.

- He definitely has a bad habit of getting jealous but he always tries to “hide it” from you. He’ll usually just end up scowling at the guy he’s jealous of and eagerly getting you away from them as soon as possible. 

- He certainly isn’t subtle with his displeasure, it’s extremely obvious as to why he doesn’t like the guy even if he doesn’t outwardly tell you that it’s because he’s jealous. Why else would he vocally express; for no good reason, that he doesn’t like the looks of the guy or that he thinks you should stay away from them?

- He’s incredibly protective of you, especially after the whole pandemic happens. He’s wary of everyone and tries not to be too friendly, urging you to do the same whenever you do wind up meeting some survivors. 

- The two of you don’t have a ton of fights but whenever you do, they’re more just sort of reserved arguments. You don’t ever get really angry and scream at each other, you might raise your voice a little in exasperation but that’s the worst that’ll happen.

- He’ll usually just excuse himself as soon as he can and go to calm down on his own. He’ll come to visit you maybe a day or so later and apologize if he’s the one in the wrong. He expects the same from you; when you’re in the wrong, since it’s only fair.

- He says “I love you” more and more as your relationship progresses and he gets more comfortable with it. He was really nervous to say it at first but once he gets over that initial fear, he’s more than happy to say it again and again. 

- Well, you know that your future isn’t looking the brightest but you can consider yourselves lucky that you have each other in the messed up world you’re living in.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

returning the favor: do you have any hcs re: winston, past or present, that you haven't expounded upon before or at length or just feel like talking about again. whatever you like

Thank You.......yeah idk really what hc's i've like "officially" described here that often lol, but then also there's that whole complication where i don't really ever come up with ideas & when asked anything i'm probably going [???] like, classics like "what do you like out of [broad parameter]" & it's like damn....i dunno. what ideas do i have about winsotn who i've thought about every day for > 2 yrs??? that's tough.....& Then the further chaos of like, when i do have hc's or w/e it's less discrete, concrete invented ideas & more towards the end of the spectrum that's like "well i kinda interpret this part of canon vaguely this way" &/or "i have This vague notion that i haven't solidified into a pretend fact or that i'm not at all committed to or take that seriously" where it's like, not only is this not really nailed down but it's basically free floating / i might have other ideas that would contradict each other lol. seems like a more concise list of Stats that are fully/exclusively my ideas is more exciting, but instead i can offer vague "i dunno / what ifs" based on vibes that i verbosely describe lmao, plus i'll forget a bunch of ideas i may have had i'm sure but you know. what else have i ever offered; never really trying to sell this material to otherwise uninterested parties or only make posts that guaranteed more than one person might enjoy, why would i be starting now; and ig if i write a bunch of stuff here & go "oh & i forgot like a half dozen obvious things" i can add on to it if it's a big deal.....plus it's always tricky with billions in particular being vague abt its own characters lmao, we only see [outside of work] personal stuff if it's going to become directly tied to [definitely at work] professional plotlines, or Maybe glimpse some character contextualizing things for the more central characters....side characters have more blanks to fill but also that means. just more that's blank lol & kinda a mystery of Up To Interpretation.....i figured one way to have any structure for this at all is to have a part looking at each winston involving episode's info. well anyways, after this meandering intro that kind of illustrates how i'm sure the rest of things will go here lol, i'm just gonna throw a bunch of stuff down in general. thanks again for the prompt to do so, b/c why not

really the one concrete discrete idea i have which isn't in the canon text is, of course: he is autistic

does he Know? idk. either way, think he's pretty aware of how he operates (& how he Can't operate), but if he doesn't know that's probably more for the "also: he's self loathing, which was basically textually implied" stuff lol. just mentioned it but i do always enjoy the tayston idea that taylor's talking abt in the past having it floated by a therapist/s or whomever that they could be autistic, them considering it but it not applying; winston going "hmm" & doing his own considering & researching & then maybe exclusively sharing the news w/taylor....but of course, maybe he's figured it out himself at some point before. i do think he'd figure it out himself though rather than anyone else directly suggesting it (maybe out here being diagnosed with "just the guy who sucks who we don't like / won't act right or normal" sort of usual experience) & i think, if he knows, he's not about to want ppl at work to know, b/c not as though anyone (but taylor & other quants) particularly seems to be impressed by his quanting proficiency, but he sure gets some validation/affirmation through that route (more re: that of course) and knows that ppl going "oh he's autistic so of course he's better at Doing Math / computer stuff as a like, mechanical efficiency sort of thing" or whatever. and the fact that taylor can interact with him / gives him some leeway to generally do his thing means he's kind of already got space to operate how he operates, see the start of this section....and idk. transitioning into the next section ig

just an Interpretation Of Canon thing here but, re: how these characters generally operate & what their reason is for being around doing stuff in the first place, i guess it's that winston does genuinely like to do & is interested in the math/coding stuff involved here, was also genuinely interested in working for taylor specifically (whatever The Hype specifically was), then you have taylor having the "despite your demeanor, your skills are superior" stance & appreciating what he can do & letting him do it by hiring him for real & all, & here we are, Q is for Quantitative, baby......he must find it rewarding enough to be getting to do this quanting stuff and also, the potential for validation when anyone recognizes he's good at it & by extension finds something about him good & wants him around to any degree

okay just that Episode By Episode stuff for a section here

3x03:

kinda extra room for interpretation b/c this was written as a one off character and reintroducing him in 3x09, written to be recurring, feels like it kinda offers a Soft Reboot for what we got here, where i guess how i take things is that we can suppose in both 3x03 & 3x09 winston's putting on a deliberate Performance to some degree based on what he thinks the potential employer wants to see, but it's also not completely fake / inaccurate either time, & like, maybe the 3x03 vibe wasn't a type of performance he'd only just ever put on for this axe cap interview, & even if it was deliberately bold maybe he was sort of thinking he Could bank on his value as a quant meaning he holds most of the cards (or can get away with acting like it)

building on that & as a More General point of interpretation again: think it's easy to suppose winston could've had an existence w/many elements of frustrations & disappointments & Rejection, but where like, he did figure out these areas of interest & proficiency that seemed to be a more positive force in his life, & leaned into them / focused on them further for it, & i could see him focusing on milestones / graduating from one thing to the next & conceptualizing like, well, if i just get to This point by working on This thing then i'll have it together & be able to move through existence more successfully, like, there's winston going into undergrad & kind of disappointed he's not having that good a time socially / feels like he's missing out / being left out still, but he can be like, well that's fine (: i'm totally fine abt it b/c i'm focusing on the Education & Experience here & when i'm entering the job market as an amazing quant anyone would want to hire then ppl will be seeing me in a positive light & things will fall into place / go great for me / i'll feel like i fit in & am doing things right within some structure. & i think maybe he Did have all those other job offers / opportunities & he was at least partly feeling a bit "objectively" confident, & also maybe just hoping he Could be that confident & that, you know, if he goes ahead & acts like that's the case, it could be confirmed / become true....anyways then obviously disillusionment time

since his outfits are introduced here: more "just how i'm interpreting canon" stuff in that i do just suppose he is mostly focusing on comfort & it'd kinda get in the way of things if he couldn't. flipflops might've been a statement piece but also i figure at least in part about the comfort / lack of much opportunity for restriction or ill fit or chafing texture or anything, same goes re: pants & shirts. interesting he likes to wear the patterned layers but doesn't really wear like, stripes or plaid ever. plus it could well be that Just A Tee is too informal unless you're the formalest of all by virtue of position, i.e. the ceo, but also we sure often enough see him wearing hoodies &/or multiple layers, like, maybe that's just for warmth or weight or what have you, always considering "what if it's about being self conchy as well (different way of saying self conscious)"

3x09:

so yeah with winston not having taken another job (at least maybe only like, temporary ones as these self contained gigs / just something to pay the bills) figure it's been a Depressive Period for him here lol & deliberately going on a journey of like self reflection / examination & going "haha yeah hated what i saw" is like, i don't think the self loathing is anything new, the confidence in 3x03 kind of an optimistic bandaid lol like well here's the new me as i understand / hypothesize / hope he could be, totally confident in being backed up by how valuable he is as a quant, then taylor kind of ripped that off and wound's open again but that wound was also not brand new or something he was unaware of / that didn't affect him before now

re: math meetup, i can see that being him presenting more evidence of his talent as a quant but also specifically going "see, i do this collaborative thing" to present this more conciliatory and cooperative approach to taylor, & am also taking it as evidence that he really does Enjoy math / coding stuff beyond it simply being a means to a professional end. i also like to think he has been / continues going to math meetup regularly, at least once a month, maybe every other week, and that it's this semi social event, like the relevant irl group you found back in the day that like, meets up for pizza before and drinks afterwards. i also like to think that, like, while he might come off as A Bit Much during said math meetup / just speak up frequently enough and often enough with some insistence lol, people Are there to meet up about the math and his contributions Are valued despite if his delivery/approach isn't always endearing or whatever. and even if he's not really popular / warmly embraced in the more [socializing event] bookends of the meetup, he's perfectly tolerated, and there's even a person or two or three (also regular attendees) who do vibe with him enough to like, invite / even want him to sit with them / talk with them outside that Math Setting. math meetup pals, maybe he doesn't meet up with these people outside these events but maybe they have each other's contacts and sometimes text. not these intimate personal relationships, but still something real and positive and refreshing. it'd be nice if math meetup could kinda be like what he hoped for from quanting, this way his math lets him "qualify" to access this group / activity, his aptitude "making up for" perceived lack of interpersonal / social charm & charisma & what have you, & having some reliably friendly people around even if of course that's not on its own going to mean he's totally socially fulfilled / not often lonely or anything. hc: he's often lonely & not totally socially fulfilled

he does, of course, want to work for taylor specifically, as long as they want him to, and this is sort of his second chance to find validation through working as a quant lol. think that yeah sure winston likes validation in general, who doesn't but also of course he's maybe a bit Above Average sensitive to / keen on it, but he'll also care about Affirmation if it's coming from people whose opinion he particularly values. think that it's easy to suppose he's also especially sensitive to taylor's assessments here thanks to the fact they really hit a (raw) nerve with him like, sure is the potential to get caught up in feedback loop city & say, have a few months mired in self loathing & an especial lack of certainty & confidence, if someone's kinda gone "i hate your self hatred" lol, but he also Did have this especial interest in / high opinion of taylor before that 3x03 interview, & so that's what continues to be part of it here

but then also interpreting that second 3x09 scene as like, he Does independently Know His Value as a quant and yknow not only has his pride but also can't and isn't going to first and foremost focus on trying to socially perform being peak Accommodating and Appealing here lol. but he still cares about what taylor thinks, wants to work for/with them, and i think it was Mutually Appreciated in the last scene that there was Mutual Effort to cooperate w/the other, giving him a Cue instead of just being mad & obfuscating it unless & until giving up on him completely or w/e is Constructive. interpreting winston as someone who sure can be a bit petty on purpose, especially in the face of some wounded pride (where he seems to take pride in his quant abilities & maybe not much of anything else: see the self loathing otherwise), but isn't really one to be deliberately antagonistic, especially not towards, yknow, the person he specifically wants to appeal to, but he also knows he can come off as grating whether inadvertently or not, so he might be testing the waters a little as well

3x11

he's using headphones even though no one else is in the room, that's a preference / he may also just like to block out other sound in general, as there's no audio of [winston's music faintly playing as / before he takes off his headphones] or indication he paused anything. does he like metal, what with the yngwie malmsteen reference? maybe, but that might just be a Billions Reference thing that isn't meant to indicate much / anything abt the specific character. i don't have any hcs about it anyways besides "okay" if so

first time we see his watch, it's not the calculator watch until s5 but i am a fan of said calc watch....gotta suppose it could represent him being here for the math of it all, what with how fancy/expensive watches are kinda the whole like status / power play thing, and a calculator watch is, afaik, not expensive, these casio calculator watch listings i'm seeing are all priced like, $15 to $25 range. so.

2nd scene is the first time we see sleeves pushed up, a frequent choice, maybe if he's focusing sleeves against forearms / Wrists & Hands can be bothersome. also not the first time he puts his hands in his pockets but i think that's a deliberate choice for winston's sort of Default Pose, equate it to the choice to have jared hang / hold on to his backpack straps.

guess he can also be a bit petty / rude / grating on purpose if ppl are getting in the way of his mathing / coding or otherwise thwarting it, at least probably taylor can relate / sympathize what with them wanting to Get It Right / being bothered if people get it wrong but could've avoided this

noticing all the caffeine and the fact he maybe didn't leave the basement / was powering through that project All At Once....just noting that down as a potential Approach, wanting to not interrupt focus &/or bear down & keep a fairly intense pace until it's finished / stay in the zone or what have you

definitely doing some deliberately cocky Testing / pushing back / amicable power struggle with taylor there, confirming he does have leverage due to that quanting ability after all, Despite His Demeanor / not being "sweet"

by this point definitely consciously kinda wants taylor to rail him.

4x03

i have no concrete hc's of instances inspiring winston to think he's "always seeing the future" but god i wish he did. he's right a lot though, maybe he just notices as much lol

talking mostly to taylor here, then concluding with "i only thought it but didn't say it; doesn't count....damnit." like he wants Their validation thanks, even if recognizing his Win here still wouldn't help them either way....also first time we see him w/coworkers for real, he's really freely Interacting.....time to go ahead and say he'd like to be work friends / at least have friendly interactions at work, might be a bit desperate for such positive social interactions, especially in this environment where he thinks the "objectively" good thing about him is most relevant, but it's cringe & fail (&/or vulnerable to Attack) to outright Want something, like validation / affirmation / a positive response or a simple "yeah you're right" "positive" response

first Space Shirt, followed by ones that are like, also &/Or Sci Fi Shirts. does he like space? i guess so

he's autistic

4x08

here & in 4x11, we don't know how he's gotten this info about taylor re: the arc w/their dad or with axe cap, but he's apparently mused on it on his own like this & isn't just quoting what someone else told him about how taylor must feel about xyz & how that might apply to the situations at hand, even though (unless he cassandra'd it) he wouldn't've had that much cause to suppose it'd definitely be relevant to have ideas about how taylor feels / is navigating a situation & why, maybe he just likes to be prepared like that / stay in the loop but yknow, maybe he's just also interested in them as a person beyond what's most immediately relevant to him doing quant stuff for them

he's already done the sort of kicking himself / wincing / apologizing or agreeing he fucked up an exchange thing before but, the genuine disappointment / momentary discouragement in it always lol....self loathing guy

love how he has these little like, clarifying explanations of things. "total control of the instrument," "always seeing the future," "because i win".....he's out here wanting to communicate to connect & to be understood, not so much as a potential for a power play / status climb and thus a conflict.....can see ppl who are used to / Do see interactions in that light to interpret winston yelling about having won as a like, rubbing it in people's faces show of superiority thing, but pretty sure he's just excited and wants a high five

4x11

having talked about the fact none of the desks in the tmc hq main floor seem to be winston's (& knowing that Could just be wroland not being reliably available to be in the bg of shots lol, analyzing s4 shots for some Consistently Empty desk) but it is fun to also consider that maybe tmc Could've had a secret extension in that that quant haunt in the basement was kept. a little more furnishing and it could be pretty chill, even though the lack of windows might not always be ideal. where's he sit!

also the whole "guy who'd be the first one smothered" moment like, guess i could've mentioned it in 3x03 more but yeah my Headcanon here is that winston maybe has a master's degree, not a phd though (him saying "50 phds" in 3x11 i think was meant to differentiate from him on both points, aka he's 1 guy, without a phd) & this is his first "real" job in any field. b/c i'm guessing like, people are here to get Paid, but as mentioned w/the watch (& just how winston acts in general, he doesn't really seem like he's raring to show off / really take advantage of having money or anything) it doesn't seem like he's, like, the "exceptionally focusing on personally making as much as possible" guy, and lauren's remark seems to emphasize / place the context on winston just not having like, savings from prior salaried years at a job or anything, more of a practical matter, maybe he's out here hoping for some more financial security, also they are all living in nyc, so. on that note, maybe he has an okay apartment but like, not without problems / not absolutely ideal, but it's okay. this would just be Convenient as an hc also lol

don't think the monologue was completely memorized, but it wasn't completely off the cuff either, he'd maybe been brainstorming scripts in his head / had some particular parts solidified word for word, but also hardly think he was guaranteed planning to deliver an admonishlogue at all, seems like it was some important factors that he was just kind of already irritated, nobody was listening / people Were social pressuring him to drop it or not interested in entertaining like "yeah i think you should talk to taylor about it" at all, think it was clear that talking to others was only going to lead to them telling him to drop it / trying to not have anyone say anything to taylor, and then that taylor just jumped in, which i hardly think he was hoping for

always Something that we can expressly see winston moving to sit down in that soon to be empty meeting room as everyone else is clearly filing out lol, like, can see how he might not be able to go "well, back to work" immediately and need some irritation / feeling like shit / guess who just got yeeellllllllllled aaaaaat to burn off, might need some time to absorb "well i guess i just deferred so no bonus as was probably expected," but can also suppose that maybe when winston gets majorly Shut Down he has shutdowns. saying all of four words in the wake of things, otherwise the fact he has this approach of tensing up, not talking at all, kind of just holding onto eye contact as his last way of "properly" participating in the exchange w/o bailing entirely, while also outwardly withering, like clearly these kinds of moments are pretty significantly affecting....feels like he could find it difficult to talk much, or at all, in the wake of some / need some time to recuperate a bit & have some distance & quiet & not just jump back into work like he's having a fine and normal time. sometimes pondering like, not only those notions like taylor insisting winston not be Interrupted when he hasn't technically started talking yet (giving him the buffering / latency time) but also like, fun kinda imagining them sitting across from each other having a texting conversation....or times winston would rather have an exchange via email......or make use of the sticky notes......or just have taylor talking to him and picking up on his nonverbal responses

winston's very Not present in tmc meetups / get togethers this season & again we know that this could be because his actor wasn't very available but it's still the case In Canon that there's only so many tmcers and they're all seeing each other outside work / market hours for varyingly formal or informal purposes & he's never included. & simultaneously hold the hc's that he could be choosing not to go or he could just never be invited in the first place l o l.....in either of these situations the reason for declining to go or being excluded could be up to "b/c other ppl don't like having him around" and idk, best case scenario is he doesn't want to go for some other reason, but he acts pretty okay with the All Hands meetups we do see / when in meetings with the other named employees he's pretty raring to interact with them, so :/

4x12

i do like to think it's fun to imagine What If Taylor Had A Phonecall With Winston Before This Monologue; someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure, i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart.....just them both having a more sympathetic approach with each other and a sort of dialed back reconciliation, tbt 3x09, without an audience / roomful of other people

do think that his wearing a tmc logo tee into axe cap hq was a deliberate Statement Piece, like wearing flipflops into axe cap in his true first time being there lol

first time we see the backpack, & the headphones (in this season), like the point you (nothingunrealistic) made about the backpack possibly kind of exerting pressure / compression in a Sensory Way. let's see it again

as good a time as any to bring up how it's such a consistent pattern that it Must be a choice that winston smiles in this direction :/ and grimaces / winces / frowns this way :\ but a choice of the actor of course, was it ever a conscious thing on winston's end, would not put it beyond the realm of possibility he's ever consciously thought of stuff like "even if words fail me(tm) i Gotta hang on to eye contact".....i'm thinking of times he is smiling hard enough that you just gotta do it more symmetrically, like here in 4x12

5x01

he likes bagels

think that this could've been another case of "people who are used to interactions used for conflict / power plays / stepping on other people to status climb (axe cappers in general, maybe team ben having to be extra prone to be on the lookout for these strategies when they're more often on the receiving end of them) misinterpreting winston socializing as means of connection (wanting to talk about the common work thread / interest with coworkers)"

even if for some reason quants were cold shouldering axe cappers like, a sound strategy even if team ben are worthy exceptions. Winston Can Get Petty When People Blame Quants Talking About Being Quants For Axe Cappers Harassing Tmc & also when in the process of doing so everyone's like "also you're smarter than us but no you're not, any math quants could do fundamental analysts could do better" like, winston getting more deliberately antagonistic when ppl are going after his Math Aptitude / value as a quant when that's his "objective" point of pride & confidence & possibly like haha self loathing can't get me here

5x02

winston's decimal points being more precise here i think indicates that the show is not taking the stance of "yeah the quants are just any old analysts with an attitude of superiority" lol

do think he selected that particular seating placement b/c it's like, hey furthest away from axe cap, most aligned with taylor's desk & angled towards it, perfect.....what a letdown

guess this episode suggests he and mafee have chats sometimes, and winston maybe confides At All Sensitive Info w/the guy? bold

always just smh like well thank god we were given this subplot where winston was a plot device really for dollar bill's arc or whatever............what a gift

5x03

just noticing as always how winston is the one person saying they should go for it vs the other two's skepticism / trepidation, and taylor decides to go for it.....they do value his input / trust his judgment

i am also noticing how often winston, as the math guy who doesn't really fit in w/ the whole axe / caply approach & style, has this role in giving taylor these crucial opportunities to pursue their own direction rather than be mired down in the misery of axe cap determining everything....3x11 & his algorithm letting them break completely away from axe cap, 4x11 & his admonishlogue making some Points & then next episode taylor does decide to abandon the revenge jag & says they were wrong & they're sorry....5x03 & this nlp strategy plotline being the first thing taylor could actively pursue for tmc after 2 eps of being dragged painfully through axe cap nonsense, & the fact this, in the next episode, leads to the Impact Fund idea / mase carb

5x04

see that last point

5x05

guess that until confirmed, The Glances being significant is a Headcanon Interpretation lol. anyways i do like taylor giving him these discreet, nonverbal cues as a very deliberate method of communication titrated betwixt them

oh right and an Age Cue here, before that was nailed down i think i already hc'd winston as either the same age as, or a year older than taylor, and that's still true lol, think that's how it goes with the timelines (taylor's being kinda uncertain, and winston's as well, having prior just kinda gone "well if taylor's 22 when they show up as the typical post undergrad age, and each season spans approx a year, and maybe winston spent just a year or two post undergrad getting a master's b/c nothing nails down how long it would take & he could've kinda been ahead of the curve as it were, he could be, say, 23 thru 25 in s3 when he shows up, to taylor's Maybe 23" as the Idea)

just wants to work for taylor as long as they'll have him, but would also like to be openly valued / affirmed on a pretty basic level lol...

one of those matters that's like, i do think that this is what the material is Trying to convey but it's not concrete / explicit, in that i think winston somewhat Likes rian right off lol like. i mean he's also still annoyed on principle, this is maybe his replacement & that stings that it's even a possibility & of course he has reason to want to feel like "oh well this person Clearly sucks" lol, but then there he is trying to scope out the situation & get immediate intel & it's like, here's this fellow 20something you immediately think is pretty (the mental comparison to an A lister as a dunk, lmao) & you see her being perfectly friendly with your nice coworker you're also friendly enough with, that's one degree of separation, now here he comes talking about how cool & epic & smart & capable she is, again makes sense he's still first & foremost bothered by the situation & has cause to just be more jealous about how well everyone immediately thinks of her (see: winston making bad first impressions that may never be undone, the fact other coworkers were probably never going around openly impressed with / praising him after meeting him for 5 sec, or like, ever) but i suppose this immediate underlying sense of attraction / affinity hits in that First Sighting as well

love that we see the feet up on the desk show of confidence again, very funny & glad it's back.....a tool in his arsenal for when he's Very Bothered But (unsuccessfully) Acting Very Unbothered / when he's trying to pitch for his employment lol

when did he have a first gf? perfect time for an hc.....feels like it'd have been like, idk, older high schoolers at the youngest, that kind of emotional commentary....or in college. sometimes pondering the idea like, what if he had a bf first actually.....or not, & Feeling A Way around other guys sometimes like, hmm guess i think this guy is pretty cool &/or i'm kinda like "god i wish that were me" about, then some more noticeable Tension as he's older even if he can't really discern the reason b/c this person's pretty nice & cool actually, hmm. then one day you're doing hw together with a while for code to compile & Oh Hey Lol

meanwhile think clearly rian defuses the Reason For Rivalry (and also clearly immediately likes him / interacting with him & you know, outright sticks up for him & in this significant way) & then when they connect over Math it's all coming together very outright like Oh Hey Lol 😳

also he Gets Right Back To Work easily enough, & like, i think already there's a deliberate performance of "i'm now totally unbothered," but he's just pretty good at shaking things off apparently. & he kind of has to be, to not bail completely or else tamp down his own personality / avoid interactions, but you know. plus that like, he may get irritated when his pride's wounded but around here people can have a whole crisis & arc about it if their egos are bruised in the slightest, so like. pretty blasé

5x06

this isn't really any hc or Interpretation by any stretch but this is the first time we've seen winston pull that particular attitude in that second scene with rian and it's beautiful.....if something's bothering him he's so often like outright indignant but this is like, i'm Bothered but i'm being so dignant about it, for like 4 sec

also the bright green hoodie / bright, high contrast, geometric blockbuster tee is so Vivid but like, always noting how he wears relatively colorful outfits. fun to go "maybe this one's deliberately extra eye catching b/c of this new crush" lol

5x07

the difficulty in reading that much into things when the lack of sobriety could be making any & everything an outlier, & can't even really read into "apparently down to take stimulants (beyond caffeine) on a dime" b/c well, so is everyone else, so that this situation can unfold, we knew he had a crush on rian (or i guess we didn't, but this is pretty direct about it), we knew he likes validation, taylor Knows him well enough that it's not just like "oh he's acting weird? well that's winston for you" to them, which we also knew but it's fun to confirm further lol

and now for some more free floating / general concepts

family? i have no idea. feel like he either has no siblings or several but yknow, anything's possible. we know what he's like Now, don't think he got that solid self esteem / self confidence as an emergent quality from [everything that happened to him before 3x03] & don't suppose he has this like, rock solid close warm familial relationship of understanding & unconditional love & support w/whoever he grew up with, parents or siblings or whoever he lived with....like, the relationship/s could be Fine but you know, still not all that close

i don't think he was every completely friendless (or if he was, it didn't last Too long) in terms of like, throughout school maybe he had some pals, no amazing close [fingers crossed Like That] ones where someone had like, grown up as his next door bestie and they did everything together & knew everything about each other, nothing all that close, but he had people to sit with at lunch or what have you, even if at times like, the table nobody else really sits at but the people who don't have anywhere else to sit lmao. maybe some slightly closer friendships here & there, but people often kind of got subsumed into other friend groups that he wasn't otherwise a part of / otherwise just kind of gradually distanced again...but also possible he had perfectly amicable occasions of like, maybe only having a class or two with certain people, not striking up intimate friendships but hitting it off well enough.........like, winston's out here Not having been stomped down into suppressing his personality all the time, he's still fairly earnest & forthcoming & eager to connect, just sort of vaguely going for "he maybe have always had this element of discouragement & disappointment re: socializing / connecting / forming relationships / sometimes just being accepted on a basic level, but he also didn't have his spirit totally extinguished either" although there's also the room for stuff like, yknow, him Holding Out Hope like "well nobody likes me now / i'm unhappy but maybe once i'm in college [gets to college & still isn't having a great time] okay well once i Enter The Workforce" lol. you know

but it's also like, hardly think he's Only Just Now experiencing the [winston: ___ everyone: get his ass] type stuff & pushback & punishment & disdain over not really doing anything but people hate his style & vibe, & feel like there's also still room for like, yep wow got burned sometimes / having had some pretty negative experiences......we do have to end up in this place where, you know, 3x03 happens and he doesn't just go "guess finance isn't for me!" & dust himself off & go get some Guarantees from some tech firms, & instead he's Really Glad [Taylor] Called & hasn't taken some other more desired job between 3x03 & that call & is immediately like "good news: i do hate myself" so like, can't see him having just thrived his way to this point....evidently not all dating relationships have been just epic highs & victories, maybe he has those math meetup pals now & maybe idk there's other people he's in sort of in contact with, maybe people from college / grad school or the like, still not that close, figure he's generally been lonely like, overall, despite regularly enough seeking out / striving for connections

oh yeah speaking of, the idea that he has a cat maybe lol, in part simply for company, a little guy that lives in your house / apartment....but also maybe he doesn't

always just some general notions like, also idk maybe he engages in hobbies, talks to people through that just like with math meetup....talked about the Embroidery idea, got that computers/programming connection, was thinking like, idk fuck it amateur photography, develop your own film, maybe he took a class in college or high school or something, same with like, maybe he plays a musical instrument, said "the cello, why not" about that as an early [shrug] idea lol. he does like space, maybe he does Anything with that....rip to any astronomy clubs In Nyc like, guess you're not seeing shit, but. 4x11 au, after deferring his bonus he goes to some cool cinematographic celestial occasion like taylor & the sea glass fish carousel lmao. taylor catches up & they have their [i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart] exchange lol.....except also not, b/c you wouldn't really want to have Parallels with m/any moments ft. wendy & taylor :/

recalled like a particularly casual / throwaway idea about like "lol what if he was somewhat thalassophobic" in part b/c once actor william dropped that lore abt himself in an interview, but. could have somewhat some other phobia/s. or not really any! what a world

maybe sometimes he's out here like, single & ready to Fuck like, focusing on just hooking up w/people sometimes rather than really looking to date at the juncture, although it could both be true like, he'd Like to be dating but also doesn't really currently want to do all the Putting Himself Out There & such of seeking it out / trying to consciously navigate it, but sometimes it's more manageable like, just wanting to have sex. looking out for himself when he can & how he can lol

speaking of, some vague sexy hcs

gets pegged

especial fan of Tongue Against Tongue texture, enjoys some Grounding elements to avoid being overwhelmed / narrow things to the more relevant sensory input at hand, like the weight/pressure of a partner leaning / lying against him / holding him tightly, if he's overwhelmed in a good way / kinda got some sensory overflow in a good way he might cry during sex In A Good Way lol, took some time maybe in his Personal Sexual Experience to figure out some general differences in "what he doesn't like at all" or "what's off the table / too unpleasant for him at some times but Not necessarily at all times & might be completely enjoyable sometimes," like, am i willing to perform oral sex, am i willing & Enthusiastically so, is that way too much actually, it can be all of them at varying times....maybe in more everyday general situations he refrains from stims in front of others unless stressed enough, but while having sex with someone especially if at all nervous it's like, there can be this transition between repressing stims & being more unfiltered / uninhibited where they kind of build up & then come through in kicks only to be reined back in, either like, he simply does go for a more reined in approach the whole time or anyone else is willing to ride this out with him / he kind of has the time & space to figure out more of a flow, in which case he might still stim but you know, not as though people aren't used to stims in this situation, i.e. reacting to stimulation with movement & vocalization is at least expected & it could once again be like "well he's a bit weird with it but hey" lol or you know, not that some partners can't be understanding or have had experience w/similar partners. hardly make or break but this can be a vulnerable interaction here / hard to shake the self consciousness & sense of "i Do have to filter myself and act The Right Way" all at once just b/c you'd want to

hey and let him sing karaoke or something lmao, winston is as Dramatic as he is, he would give a performance. work in a way to let everyone who sings sing around lol, could throw in some Affectations so that it's like yeah winston can sing without having to be like "wow winston, when'd you become a trained broadway performer" lmao. imagine. which reminds me of the time will joked about like, oh yeah winston Gets That A Lot re: people recognizing he looks like the guy in deh, aka will roland....the limitations of "this is set in real nyc" including occasional references to recent / popular shows, fuck it maybe will roland does also exist in the billions universe. well anyways it would be fun. the karaoke anyways, and that he'd give a top tier Performance whether or not people are first and foremost enjoying his technical / artistic skill at the art of singing, it'd at least be personality infused and engaging

taking it way back to the ideas about winston's social misadventures in general, i'm sometimes considering for fics i never end up writing if he might have some like, misgivings / anxieties about like, is this person i Like acting like they maybe Like me back as some kind of elaborate joke, & maybe the caution comes from experience like you know, classic over the line "pranks" like asked out As A Joke, kissed As A Dare that he wasn't aware of, think there could be like, would be Friendship / friendly acquaintanceship experiences in there where such "pranks" / "jokes" / "messing with him" (and not in a good way) could happen, or even just you know, more Spontaneously, don't even know this person & he's treated as a joke for other ppl's entertainment, realizing at the time or retrospectively like oh maybe i was more being bullied then having any positive social interaction / getting to feel at least "included" or what have you, like, the idea of getting to hang out with a group as The Funny Guy, but he's had these experiences getting to hang out with a group & realize it's b/c they thought he was funny / Amusing in a laughing At him, not with him way, which is easy also b/c winston isn't really out here trying to be funny that we've seen lol. only realizing he was still being excluded after some time / distance from the situation, or escalating open hostility / just more blatant meanness / over the line shit from some people, maybe some stuff that just immediately feels shitty but he figured was just like, well idk, maybe that's normal & still friendly, maybe it also felt more outright embarrassing / demeaning at the time but it's like haha yeah you got me :'] at the time just to save any face lol.....possible unexpected / spontaneous amicability in his socializing history, but also shittiness, whether it's coming at him all at once or he's kind of holding out hope like, well, i just keep at it / have a Friendly attitude here and surely i'll make friends b/c if people didn't like me At All why are they talking to me / letting me be here at all.....

always kind of pondering Fashion Variation, we haven't seen it but it could be possible, musing on "what would he think Looks Good On Him / how does he feel capable of like, dressing for romantic success or what have you lol" like, was the vivid 5x06 outfit anything, cue the drawing like, a bralette & short shorts is shaking it up and could be a Felt Cute outfit and could also be comfortable enough....not always That much room in men's(tm) fashion before you start having to be aware of [Gender] and dunno that winston out here has had the inspiration / motivation / opportunity to consider / try out / explore but hey. what are we here for

just remembered that post like "uhh i just saw a guy crying in the library & then his phone alarm went off & he stopped crying, opened his laptop & started typing / it's called time management" lmao like winston's not out here having the Most amazing time, he could have such Time Management experiences of like, letting it out some on purpose but then reining it right back in, and/or just like some spontaneous paroxysms of crying for a minute or two more unexpectedly in a "do you ever [experience a tiny inconvenience] & realize the thread by which you're hanging on is quite thin" way or otherwise, you know, oops experienced this frustration & now i'm crying over it, or idk, just feeling a bit more vulnerable for whatever reason & something has unexpectedly plucked some emotional string attached to another string attached to another & the resonance = i'm crying now ig. he can't be Thriving out here & i don't think he's all about having such a stranglehold on emotions that he's like oh tf i Never cry (aside from having sex, in a good way)

although speaking of like, emotional repression, maybe he's out here just "good at" compartmentalizing some experiences lol in that "well anyways, back to work" way & stuff like, sure he knew he was risking it in 4x11 but it also did not seem to affect his dynamic with mafee at all lmao like wow.....

think that him not really having anything on his work desk is a choice / preference but also am not sure that that really applies to anything else lmao. what if he had a little plant. that'd be funny

oh yeah and the idea that winston might literally have like prophetic dreams & they're just kind of a nuisance to him but sometimes they can be plot devices in fics (that don't exist) about him kissing people

well i'm just calling it a night there lol but like, it always feels Lacking writing out hc's like, plenty of ideas but also hardly any, and yet the fact that other individual ideas are so Vague / casual that it wouldn't be like "oh i gotta share this via post or manifesting it some other way" so then it feels like, oh no, if i don't list absolutely Everything on something that's specifically a list of hc's, i can never talk about whatever gets left out......and just that like, i ought to have a bunch of really specific, concrete, unique Factoids about winston here to be of any interest but hey lmao. that hypothetical set of concepts is never gonna happen, & the Ultimate Comprehensive List Of Everything I've Ever Pondered Re: Winston is also going to be difficult lmfao (not as though that's what you've asked in the first place) but you know, we took a swing at things here & covered some ground & the thinking about & talking about winston never ends, & this isn't really a post meant to have broad appeal / if you're not already having fun reading vague musings about the quant then i'm sorry you're reading this after having read all that and gone "wow, i'm disappointed" lmao but hey, weird choices made to bring you to this point......also god knows plenty of hcs are more filed away under specific like [Tayston], [Benston], [Riawin] sort of things (lol, [Mafon]) b/c on the one hand, i find it easier to kind of think in Scenarios and the details particular to the "scenes" therein, but i am also not good at thinking of those scenarios! out here operating on vibes, he's autistic and wants to kiss taylor (also now rian but that's kinda right in canon, not just my head) and that's really the crucial info here

[teedeenobody]

Trent/Eva friendship hcs

Trent has been in therapy for his OCD since he was like 13

He was kind of shy and emo all his childhood/middle school

And struggling with mental illness definitely made him push people away even more bc he thinks they won’t accept him

His grandfather died and his parents divorced in the same year a few years before, and since then he had been on a steep spiral

He’s closer to his mom and lives with her most of the time, and she finally got him into counseling for grief, depression, and of course OCD when he’s 13 because she realized he needed it (he’d already had ocd before but those traumatic events exacerbated his symptoms)

He doesn’t really respond to any of it, he’s uninterested and actively against therapy and doesn’t think he can be helped

But then he’s introduced to art/music therapy because his therapist thinks it may be helpful especially for him

He immediately feels like “this is what I’ve been missing”

Originally he just was doing music/learning guitar to get his therapist off his back but he realized he really enjoyed it and it made him feel better in a way he’d never considered it could and it was a healthy coping mechanism

He finally has something to be passionate about

He starts opening up at school and making friends

He doesn’t seek to be cool, but his personality and being more confident and secure with himself attract other people to like him

He’s having a good time

He still likes emo music and aesthetic, but it no longer has to go hand in hand with a self-destructive mentality

His dad and stepdad are kinda strict and anti-art

They’re a lawyer and an accountant who met at work after his parents’ divorce

His biological dad (the accountant) wants Trent to be one too and not be distracted by music and other non-profitable skills

But they see how much music means to him so they eventually come around to it

THIS BRINGS US TO TOTAL DRAMA:

Eva has never gotten any sort of help for her anger issues

She’s a first generation Russian immigrant and she’s been in the spotlight since she was little, which has taken a toll on her

She hates doing movie stunts, she just wants to do sports without having to manage fame and sleazy paparazzi

She’s been written off as “just like that” by her parents

But she recognizes that she needs to control her temper, but she cant do it on her own

She wants to win total drama because that money can help her get treatment and she doesn’t see any other way because her parents are in charge of her finances and legally own all the money she got as a child star

She is so mad when she is voted off so early, but she knows she has to work on herself

But she has no coping skills

Trent comes to playa de losers bummed but overall okay with the experience because he knows he can make things right with Gwen

He sees how Eva is and how she seems miserable over the days he’s there

He goes up to talk to her because he’s a nice person

She is standoffish at first and doesn’t want anything to do with him

So he backs off

But eventually she is like “yeah I’m very alone I need to talk to someone” so she does and she confides in Trent

He talks about how he has gone through similar experiences with mental illness and feeling alone

They bond over this

They become friends

Trent shows Eva music because it helped him through a lot and teaches her how to play guitar like he can

She is surprisingly good at it and she’s a very fast learner

She has always liked physical expressions of emotion but this one is constructive instead of destructive

She uses music to learn how to channel her anger

Eventually she also starts using physicality/exercise as constructive and healthy coping mechanisms too with the same skills that Trent taught her to use music in that way

Her other skill, strength, is something that she has had commercialized and publicized from a young age in movie stunts. Music becomes something that is just for her, something she doesn’t have to share and she can just appreciate and do for fun without pressure

She and Trent are good friends and they have deep conversations about anything and everything

Eventually Eva admits to him her crush on Izzy

He’s like “I have an idea” and he helps her write a meaningful song to show her how she feels

She performs it for Izzy and thanks Trent for helping her find confidence outside of the spotlight

The end :) this is all canon they just didn’t show it in total drama bc it was cut for time don’t fact check this just trust me on this one