#this was a really difficult question for me to answer

[maxv331]

✮ What happened to hello | Lando Norris ✮

Summary: Quick little drabbled based on all the speculation of Lando getting a bad haircut because he wore his hat so much at the Mexican GP

Warning: none :)

word count: 848

a/n: I haven't wrote in a long time so I'm pretty rusty, go easy on me! I also wasn't entirely sure how I wanted to wrap up the ending, so yeah, sorry for that!

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“Take the hat off Lando” You playfully demand with a squint of your eyes as soon as Lando’s face appears on your laptop screen. 

You’re currently on day 14 of being apart since Lando left for the triple-header and it’s eating you both alive. You haven’t been apart for longer than seven days at a time, in almost a year. Everyone around you, even the fans, call you two codependent, but really, you were just in love and wanted to spend as much time together as possible. 

Between the time zone differences and you both working so much, you’ve found it difficult to spend much time together. You’ve found comfort in being able to keep up with Lando from all of the fan and official F1 content posted online. 

You’ve gotten a giggle out of all the speculation surrounding Lando’s hair. It started on the first media day in Mexico, when it appeared Lando had gotten a haircut, but his hat stayed on the entire day. 

The next day was when the rumors actually started, Lando hadn’t taken his hat off again and every fan you came across was freaking out and cracking jokes that Lando got a bad haircut and was embarrassed about it. 

Initially, aside from enjoying all the posts, you hadn’t given it much thought, assuming Lando was mostly wearing the hat because of the heat; but then you realized Lando hadn’t sent you any photos without the hat on, and the handful of late night facetimes you had, he was already in bed with his hoodie up and it was mostly dark. 

Whenever you and Lando are apart, you always made sure to keep each other still included in the day to day parts of your lives; you were always sending photos, videos and voice notes until you could facetime or be with each other again. 

Lando hadn’t changed your familiar routine, he just never had hair showing, which was a little odd, but nothing concerning. You admittingly missed the post shower selfies or the sweaty, messy haired, tired post race selfies. 

You’re instantly met with a giggle from Lando “What happened to hello baby.” Lando’s sat in his drivers room, he’d got a couple hours break between practice and qualifying and wanted to make the most of your shared free time to squeeze in a quick facetime with you.

“Hello baby” You grinned cheekily. “I’ve missed you so much, did you get a bad haircut?” You giggled 

Lando raised an eyebrow as another giggle slipped past his lips. “Did I get a bad haircut?” 

You nodded quickly “You haven’t taken your hat off the entire time you’ve been in Mexico, so show me”

“And how would you know that, hmm?” Lando asked with a smirk. Lando was initially confused, but now all he wanted was to play into the fun he was having. 

A bright rosy blush crept up your cheeks as you briefly glanced away from Lando on the screen. Lando’s now grinning mischievously, enjoying getting to tease you. “Do I need to talk to Osc or have you been creeping on me?” 

Before you even get a chance to answer, Lando starts giggling again and shaking his head. You pout and cross your arms. “A bad haircut is the only explanation for the hat and not getting my selfies”

“Your selfies?” Lando questions, once again raising an eyebrow. He knows exactly what selfies you’re talking about, but one thing about Lando Norris is that he loves to tease his girlfriend.

“I want my post race selfies back Lando” 

Lando smiles widely, taking a moment to take in all of your soft sweet features. Lando hadn’t intentionally been keeping anything from you, the few days he had been in Mexico had been busier than usual and it slipped his mind. “I’m sorry my love, I promise you’ll get one after quali”

“I better” You murmur, arms still crossed against your chest. You did miss the selfies, but you weren’t actually annoyed with him, in fact any feelings that even remotely resembled annoyance or hurt from the past few days all stem from a place of missing Lando. 

Lando knows you better than you know yourself, so he knows that if he doesn’t do something in the next few minutes, the call is going to take a sharp turn from playful and fun to somber and probably leave at least one of you in tears. Neither you or Lando were one to shy away from your emotions, but if Lando could hold off on it, until he could guarantee you his undivided love and attention, that's what he’s going to do. 

Lando winks at you, before taking off his hat and running his hand through his hair. “Is that better my love?”

A small gasp passes your lips, before you break out into the widest smile that Lando had seen in weeks. “Lando!” You squeal happily. “You look so handsome, why have you been hiding your hair?”

“I haven’t been hiding my hair, you doughnut,” Lando laughed. “It’s hot and I like my hat”

[gguk-n]

Chapter 3- Caught in the Act

A+ in Pretend Love (Lando Norris x Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- If you asked Zak Brown, he would advice never to store confidential contracts on the cloud. If you asked Lando, he would tell you to not fall in love with your fake fiance. If you asked Y/N, she would tell you to never date a famous person even if it's not real.

While Lando was being coached by his best friend to confess his love to his fake fiance; Zak's cloud was being hacked in hopes of finding some dirt on McLaren or their CEO ad black mail but they didn't expect to hit the jackpot. Their contract was valid for 3-4 more months and the plan was to slowly ease Y/N out of Lando's life and say that things didn't work out because of their busy schedule.

What no one anticipated was they would wake up on Saturday morning to both their face plastered all over the news with the contract they had signed. The media was calling them all sorts of things from trying to fool them to trying to fool an entire country. There were people who had tracked her down and were not waiting outside Y/N's house in hopes of talking to her or at her work. She had to take leave from work since her professors were speaking ill of her. She couldn't imagine having to go back for her PHD programme. The worst were the fans; the name calling, the hate; it was all directed towards her as if McLaren were saint's in all of this. Lando also bore the brunt of a major chunk of the hate.

Zak just texted them telling them not to talk to anyone and to stay hidden till it all died out. Y/N wouldn't even talk to Lando at this point because she was so angry and hurt and didn't want to direct her anger towards him when it wasn't even his fault. She was sat bawling her eyes out at all the mean things the people were saying about her. It made her life extremely difficult, something she hadn't imagined happening.

Lando was a mess; McLaren told the media that Lando wouldn't be answering any question other than the race and if they asked any personal questions, he just walked away; adding fuel to the fire. The drivers were also gossiping among themselves. "No wonder she suddenly showed up. It was all a rouse" George whispered. "I mean I get why McLaren would do that, with Lando's antics" Alex reasoned. But as soon as they would spot Lando, they would stop whispering. "If you guys are gonna talk about my relationship" he said in animated quotation marks, "do it in front of me. I'll answer all your questions" he huffed and walked away, clearly hurt by his friends. Racing while it felt like his world was falling apart was proving to be very difficult. All his calls and messages to Y/N would fall on deaf ears and it was messing with him even more. He just needed to know that she was okay. He didn't give a rat's ass about how he was.

"Lando, I think, soon the media will get something else to talk about. You should just focus on your racing" Zak reasoned with Lando who wanted to put out a statement saying it was all their idea. "None of this would've happened had you not saved the damn contract on your cloud" Lando sighed angrily. "I don't understand how could you let something like that happen" he shouted walking away. The environment in the McLaren garage was tense to say the least.

Lando had hoped that things would quite down by now. The original timeline for his contract was also up but there was no shutting up about the fake relationship. Lando won his maiden win and yet the only thing they could talk about was Y/N. Part of Lando missed her, he had really hope to be able to share this moment with her. When he got out of the car, a big part of him wished she was there so he could run to her, hold her and maybe celebrate this win with her.

So, later that night, he did call her and she answered, her voice hoarse. "Congratulations Lando" she crocked. "Were you crying?" Lando asked worried. "Yeah, I'm just so happy you won" she said clearing her throat. Lando found himself smiling for the first time in a long time. "How have you been?" he asked her softly. "Same old same old. I thought things would quite down by now but they haven't." Y/N mumbled. "I'm sorry" Lando apologised. "It's a good thing I'm busy with research for my PHD. I have no clue how I would deal with people in my class" she sighed. "I'm so sorry Y/N. It's all my fault" Lando began before Y/N cut him off. "It's no one's fault. Things like this happen. I'm just glad they didn't rebuke my visa for this" she laughed trying to lighten the mood. 'I miss you' was stuck in both their throats as they continued to talk for a couple more minutes. "I think we should cut the call" Y/N suggested. "Oh" Lando replied. "I think it would be easier for the both of us if we stopped contacting each other. It was a hassle explaining the whole thing to my parents and my relatives. I just don't have it in me honestly" Y/N breathed out shakily. "I'll fix this" Lando tried to reason. "Don't Lando. I think this was it for us. I wish you the best. Take care" Y/N said it like it was their last time talking. "Please" Lando begged but Y/N cut the call; "But I love you" Lando whispered into his phone.

As the time went on and as the championship picked up, Lando's heart was in unrest. He felt like he had wronged the person who he loved and he couldn't live knowing that. So, he decided to sit down one day and film a video. He had seen the stuff people were saying about him and Y/N and he felt like it had been months; people should've moved on by now but if they couldn't he would make sure that they wouldn't be able to say shit about Y/N anymore.

The video began with Lando in his Monaco apartment; "Hi guys. Lando here" he began. He took a deep breath before speaking; "I would like to address my whole relationship with Y/N in his video. Part of me had hoped that it wouldn't come to his but here we are. Y/N and I did begin this relationship in a contract but it was the team's and my decision to do so. She was just a random person we ran into who ended up helping us. So, the whole gold digger narrative you all are spinning is a load of bull. I know I shouldn't've done that but I had no other option to clear up my image because that's what the team and sponsors wanted. Part of me had hoped that after the championship had started picking up steam you guys would have something better to talk about but hating on us for the decisions we made is too much. If you would like to hate on me or send me a ton of hate, be my guest but please leave Y/N out of this. She is innocent and doesn't deserve this. I would appreciate it if you would stop sending hate to the woman I actually loved. And to Y/N, if you're even watching, had we met in a different situation, I would've actually married you since I really do love you" Lando finished the video and after he was happy with it he uploaded it to his channel. He knew his PR team would give him shit but he didn't give a fuck. He just wanted Y/N to be safe.

The internet was in an uproar after Lando's public declaration of love. Some were calling it cliche and the others were swooning over Lando for taking a stand. People weren't very happy with McLaren and how they had handled the whole situation. Lando was being bombarded by calls from McLaren and they were angry at him for what he did. "Lando are you crazy? The sponsors won't stop calling. Why would you say that?" Zak shouted. "Because lying was what got us here. So, I cleared the air" Lando stated. "You are unbelievable and so difficult. I don't know why I tried so hard to keep you" Zak mumbled which Lando heard and it stung.

Y/N was on vacation with Becky who had taken her away since all she did was stay coup-ed up at home since the whole incident. Y/N woke up to a text from her mum; 'you'll want to see this. It's Lando' it read. Y/N quickly loaded the video and before she knew it, she was crying. She couldn't believe that Lando loved her. The craziest part of the video was the love confession honestly. She quickly called him and a groggy voice answered. "Y/N, is everything okay?" Lando asked worried. "Yes. Do you mean it?" she asked. "Mean what?" Lando asked confused. "What you said in the video about being in love with me?" she pleaded. "Yes. Every word. I've been in love with you for months and I couldn't tell you and it was killing me. It's fine if you don't feel the same. I just needed to let it out" Lando rambled. "I love you too you muppet" she laughed as tears were rolling down her face. "You mean it?" Lando asked pinching himself. "Yes. I love you so much Lando Norris" she said, by now Becky was also up due to all the commotion. "Are you free tonight?" Lando asked. "Ahh, I'm on vacation right now" she said slowly. "Let me know when you're back, I'll pick you up at the airport" Lando said, "I love you Y/N Y/L/N" Lando stated. "I love you too" Y/N replied before ending the call to explain everything to Becky.

True to his words Lando had come to the airport to pick her up, As soon as he spotted her, he ran to her at full speed almost knocking her down as he wrapped his arms around her waist raising her in the process to spin around for a while. "I missed you" he whispered putting her down with his head nuzzled in her neck. "I missed you too" she whispered running a hand through the back of his hair. "You made me dizzy" she whined as he pulled away to look at her. "Sorry" Lando smiled sheepishly. "About that date?" he asked. "Give me some time to shower and than I'm all yours" she beamed.

The two of them headed home. They went on that much needed date; at home with pizza and shitty rom-coms. They giggled as the pair on the screen kissed. When Lando turned to look at her and held her face like it was the most precious thing. "Can I kiss you?" he mumbled, eyes flickering to her lips. She nodded and Lando closed the distance between them, the kiss was sweet and needy; they had so many emotions running through them and some how this kiss was exactly what they needed.

"What about McLaren?" she asked a couple days later. "I'll tell them we're really dating but now I really wanna just protect you. I won't let anything happen to you." he stated. "I know" she hummed in agreement kissing his lips.

After spending the whole of summer break together, Lando came out to announce that him and Y/N were actually dating. The team took it as well as you expect them to. The fans were going wild since this was truly out of a book. The other drivers were quite supportive and even apologised for their previous discretion.

With Y/N on his side, Lando felt like he could take on the world; good or bad. And Y/N was happy she agreed to fake date Lando since she got a real boyfriend out of this.

Tag list- @gamesetmatch-me @seonghwaexile @yootvi @hadesnumber1daughter @khaylin27 @abq654 @plotpal @charlesgirl16 @inarabee @a-beaverhausen @hwalllllllelujah

[prokopetz]

Trying to make an entry for the jam made me confront a question: how does one inject flavour and evocative writing in an RPG when there is little to no space for flavour text?

I ended up unable to add any writing that wasn't rules without going over the 200 word limit, outside of maybe the naming of some mechanics, but I went in thinking that being able to provoke the imagination would be the difference between an ok entry and a really good one.

How would you do it?

(With reference to this post here.)

The customary answer in the one-page-RPG sphere is graphic design, but here you can't do much of that, so you need to rely on phrasing, rhythm, register, word choice, and yes, game-mechanical jargon. Indie RPGs are often mocked for using their own idiosyncratic terminology rather using the "standard" jargon developed by Dungeons & Dragons and its various direct imitators, but there really is a point: even something as simple as the level of formality of the mechanical text can have a huge impact on how a game comes across.

Let's look at an extreme example – my own recent experiment in fitting a complete game into a single Bluesky post:

CREATURES Need: 3d6 Character * Skills: Hands, Feet, Mouth, Guts; assign 3, 2, 2, 1 * Traits: claws, fangs, fins, horns, shell, slime, tail, tentacles, trunk, wings; pick 2 Conflict * Roll dice=skill * Highest: * 6: Yay * 4–5: Okay * 1–3: Uh-oh Scenario * escape maze * eat wizard * profit!

This one only has three hundred characters to work with, and consists almost entirely of rules text, yet the structure and word choice convey a very clear idea of who the player characters are and what they do!

It can be helpful to bear in mind that the separation of rules text and flavour text is an artificial one, adopted by long-form games where mixing mechanics with microfiction can make the former difficult to when there's three hundred pages of the latter to comb through. You don't really need to worry about that in a very short game, so you're free to have the same text play both roles.

[nshtn]

"eww why are you into hard medplay and caretaking at the same time the power dynamic is so toxic and its nasty!!!"

my brother in christ,

need i add more???

no but really: its so difficult for me to get out of bed in the morning, i don't have a job and my only expectations are to go to doctor's appointments & keep living, i have to grovel for medication and my insurance constantly pre-auths all my liquid meds. (liquid clinda/cipro being like $500, Tablet I Can't Have vers. being $22) i've dealt with so many doctors who think i'm too fragile to touch, or don't care enough to help me.

i am always in so much pain carrying out my daily duties.

so honestly? to answer your rude question...? for once I'd just like to be seen as an object of affection, something someone wants to take care of and love... someone who can take away my responsibilities and teach me about my own body without cringing. someone who actively views me as appealing not in spite of my illness - someone who finds me fascinating, intriguing, interesting, something worth study and treatment. & i don't think that that's so bad in fiction, really.

and also because syringes are kinda hot tbh

[harmonysanreads]

Yandere Dr Ratio truly is delicious🤭 there are endless possibilities with him. He is truly underrated 🫠

Hi Lavandula!

I do get why Yandere Ratio isn't widely explored. Ratio isn't really the ‘typical’ Yandere. He won't respond in the same way towards intense feelings as others due to how developed he is when it comes to himself. Characters who are morally gray and towards that end of the spectrum usually make better Yanderes. Ratio's motivations and overall role can make it difficult to imagine him in that light.

Dr. Ratio, to me, is like the study of Logic personified — even more so than Alhaitham. Logic attempts to advance closer towards ‘truth’ by bringing something inherently abstract (thoughts) in tangible constructs. Something about that reminds me a lot about Ratio's mission. You'd think that the man would be extremely pessimistic about the future based on how he speaks, but surprise surprise, he's the exact opposite. Almost as if he experienced it all first-hand.

There is a fun overlap I noticed while studying him (alongside Sunday and Aventurine), although I'm not sure if this is just a coincidence. If you think back to all the questions Sunday proposes about humanity and then rewatch the exchange Ratio has with Screwllum at the end of Crown of the Mundane and Divine — you'll notice that the answers have been there all along.

The words themselves don't matter much, it's the manner, the casual certainty in his tone that gives them meaning. In many cases, Ratio is that man who's already passed many of the struggles of life and is attempting to help others in his very Dr. Ratio way. I sometimes joke that the more issues a character has, the better Yandere they make. If we just take that seriously for a second, compare it to Ratio's significant lack of issues (at present) in comparison to some other characters, I think it makes sense why he's a bit complicated.

One of the perks of Yandere Ratio in my opinion is that, he can work well with almost any kind of darling. Perhaps you're intellectually driven like him, maybe your world views are drastically different from his. Maybe you carry yourself in a certain way, respond to the world around you in a manner that piques his interest. The problem-solving instincts kick in whenever he's observing you.

Or maybe you're quite dumb, constantly walk straight into problems that could've easily been avoided had you just thought twice. Ratio can't stand idiocy, you see. He must treat this malady himself before the worst case scenario comes true.

He's a victim of cuteness aggression when it comes to you, more than you'd think and I will not be taking criticisms here. It's not difficult to break down emotions to their atomic structures in order to avoid processing them, but you make even that a task. He acts so dignified and self-assured all the time, but the moment you commit the greatest offence in his presence (read : being nice to him) — he's going to be thinking about it all month.

The rush of feelings is unfamiliar at best, counterproductive at worst. The thoughts he eventually starts to have are concerning. Distancing himself from you doesn't work, his weird behavior may temporarily make you avoid him. But, he doesn't like that either and oh goodness, the insecurities that surge forward when you're being happy in others' company.

Ignorance may be the disease that plagues most of the universe, but there is something far vicious, obstinate and perplexing that has grasped the great doctor. And he isn't quite certain if he wants to cure himself of it.

[overnightheartbeats]

Laurel shook her head before smiling at his question. "Are you disappointed the kiss wasn't my favorite part? Maybe I just need a reminder," she teased. Although, she quickly corrected the confusion. "Sorry, I did mean the Halloween dance being my favorite part of the night though. That time at the Saddle, the kiss took the prize that night." Her head tilted curiously when he spoke of his siblings, she remembered him sharing about his move to Texas. Laurel just wondered why leaving became the choice if it wasn't top of the list. "I get it. It must've been a difficult decision to leave. Would you move back, after school?" She nodded in confirmation, her smile remaining as they talked of her dad. "Yep. I mean, not near campus, but he lives in Austin. I get to see him some weekends, or if he's near campus, we grab lunch." Laurel's happiness couldn't be contained, even now that he mentioned stopping by the diner. "Wait, really? Not because of the special, but just so you can say hi. If you wanted." Her eyes were practically shining with anticipation, the thought of bribing him started as a joke, but now she was eager to put it in practice. "Wow, so free rein in the bribery space. I'll begin thinking of bribing options." A moment was spent trying to decipher if he was serious, and she leaned yes. "Good to know, because now I know I definitely won't keep them to myself."

His head tilt was enough to have her quickly provide more context to her words. He seemed genuinely lost, as if not liking each other wasn't an option. "No no, I didn't mean because of you." She was almost certain there was nothing he could say that would deter her. "I just meant like...you deem I'm too much after you get to know me. Hey, I have confidence in this. Just a smidge of realism." Getting her hopes up would be devastating, but she couldn't bring herself to fall into that rabbit hole. Instead, focusing on his dramatic gestures. Laurel grimaced for a second, wooed with food. "I'll need to learn how to cook more than a grilled cheese." She hoped he meant the different food places she could take him to. If cooking was in question, she had just been given a map to his heart that she couldn't use. Unless she took up cooking classes. Yep, that could be an option. Laurel couldn't help the burst of laughter while he fluttered his eyes. Was it wrong to say that it was hot and incredibly charming? How was she not supposed to fall? "Yup, those eyes. Hm," feigning to be thinking about whether he took the title or not. "Yes, definitely the prettiest I've seen."

"I can never contain my questions, as you've seen, so you won't need to worry about that. I'll ask each time." Her curiosity won each time, and even the awkward questions didn't keep her. His answer surprised her, evidenced by the amused grin that followed. "Really? The way you were dancing, I would've thought it was a main hobby." Being led in the dance floor was definitely a new one for her. "Suitable might be a stretch, but any time you need a dance partner, I'll happily sign up. Why's it boring? There's boring books, sure, but don't know about the whole activity." Not really her cup of tea, too much silence. "I knew you were full of surprises, skiing is an interesting one. Have you been recently? I mean, I know Texas is not really the spot for it." At the question of her own hobbies, Laurel's thoughts ran trying to think of something. Only distracted by his follow-up question, which made her laugh once more, covering her face momentarily. "It's working then? I knew that how-to guide would come in handy," she joked, gaze peeking through her fingertips covering her face, before her hands dropped back on the counter. "But nope, not on my hobby list. That'd mean flirting everywhere, and that's more of a one-person thing for me. I'm trying to find new things to be honest. I did cheerleading way back when, some tennis and that was fun. Lately, books are also making my list." Because of school, but still. "I really like stargazing, not super great at it, but it's nice. The good kind of silence."

"That was your favorite part?" he asked incredulously. "Here I figured the kiss would have made an impression." Eli teased half heartedly. "That makes sense but also I understand. If I could have stayed with my foster siblings I would have. Leaving them wasn't my first choice." But it was the only decision he had to make in order to keep their family from having to take on one more mouth to feed. "I'm assuming your dad lives here?" The manner in which her features lit up told him she was more than excited to see them. "When they come visit you come to the diner. I can swing a two for one special."

He shook his head making a show of it and grinned. "Nope. Not at all. The bigger the bribery the better." Now he was curious as to what she'd have up her sleeve though he kept that part quiet. "You don't have to keep your hands and feet to yourself."

"Why wouldn't we like each other after?" His head tilted like that of a lost puppy. "You have no confidence in this. I'm hurt." he feigned hurt as he dramatically placed his hand over his forehead. "I do like to be wooed. Food is pretty much one of the best ways to get to my heart. See, now you've learned a new fact." In an attempt to make her laugh he stared right at her and fluttered his eyes. "These eyes? You think are pretty?"

"Ask whatever you want. I'd rather be asked than be figured out like 'm a zoo animal." He let out a husky little laugh and nodded. "Consider me a very interested pupil then."

He took an open seat across the counter as he played with the water bottle and set it down. Answering Laurel's question from before had him half grin. "I wouldn't say dancing is a hobby. I do like it but I just don't do it as often. Never had a suitable partner to dance with until Halloween night." He thought to what he liked to do and hummed. "The boring answer is read." At least to others it'd seem boring. "Exciting answer is that I like to ski. One year our family took a trip to Aspen where I saw snow for the first time, I'd seen it before but not like that. I had seen my dad get on a board and swoosh down and thought that was the coolest thing ever. I liked it. What about you? Hobbies include having a strong flirting game?"

[ronearoundblindly]

For every cevans who are the ass men and who are the boob men 👀😏 .. maybe there are some who like both equally?

This...did not at all shake out the way I thought it would at first. More of them lean towards the top rather than the bottom, but the one's who like the butt really, really like the butt. I decided to do percentages in order of preference--the formula shows up as % tits / % ass. Warnings for sexual discussion.

A/N: What a bizarre thing to find myself thinking about for HOURS...

Ransom Drysdale 90 / 10

In a word? Jewelry. Now, an expensive necklace laying just in the valley of your breasts is not the only reason Ran prefers this view, but it's the main one.

Jimmy Dobyne 85 / 15

Breeding kink and lactation kink. Sorry. He's a simple man who is deep-down obsessed with your tits getting bigger because of him and what he did to you. This is a man who enjoys getting completely lost in sex (in his own head though, since he's not using a lot of brainpower to check in with you and your needs during the actual act).

Curtis Everett 80 / 20

He's hands-on, and the simple truth is it's easier to have his hands (or mouth) on your breasts during foreplay or missionary, even doggy-style. Curtis enjoys touch far more than he'll admit out loud, so there's also the simple fact that when you hug, he gets more contact with your top than your bottom, or dancing, or sleeping, etc. There is--and I will die on this hill--something deeply primal aroused in him when he sees your bare décolleté. Somehow that is more exposed and naughtier than you wondering around in a bikini. Not sure how to explain that further. Breasts to neck are just his real estate.

Steve Rogers 75 / 25

I mean, the guy was eye-level with them for most of his life, so yeah, Steve's fascinated by tits. He also finds laying on your chest deeply soothing. He likes the soft, sensual side of showing attention to your tits and loves when they're very sensitive. Don't get me wrong; Steve enjoys a well-balanced woman, and he will dote on all of you. He just...really likes playing with your boobs, darn it!

Important note: read that stat as "25% backside" for Steve's delicacy, please. He won't say the other thing...

Andy Barber 70 / 30

The low-key version of Ransom in the sense that for public and work events, Andy would like to show off how gorgeous you are. It's difficult to really highlight the ass without being too risqué, and he'd be far more angry if a bunch of people stared at your backside all night. He's comfortable being envied for your top half, thanks.

Jake Jensen 60 / 40

Purely a numbers game: he is more likely to be flashed than mooned, so Jake is slightly more enamored by the titties. Apart from that, his answer to the question of either/or is "yes."

Johnny Storm 50 / 50

Always changing it up because he's always on the cusp of getting bored, Johnny goes through phases. However, he is equally and actively interesting in both your tits and your ass in a sexual way which is why he gets the actual number percentages, unlike...

James Mace & Bucky Barnes- Indifferent

Slightly different reasons, but at any given time, these two change preferences. Bucky is more emotional and moody in his affection/attention, so depending on the day, he could be wildly into your breasts or your butt. He could also be really into you doting on him. This could all be for nine-million different little experiences that happened in a day or a week. Bucky can't be pinned down as just one thing--partly because he's been several different people in his life.

Mace appreciates that there are esthetically pleasing versions of body parts, that people have different ideals for those, and that it is nice to have one or more of those ideal exist in the relationship. Mace is also practical. Your body will change over time. Hell, his body will definitely change after months in space, so who is he to point out that your ass looked better one way while he loses 30 pounds of muscle between times you seen him? It's not fair and it's not realistic. He just...can't find the energy to care much about this argument. There are more important things that could be an actual problem if they changed, but your body isn't one of them.

[Enormous gap in percentages]

Ari Levinson 10 / 90

I may hate the phrase but Ari is definitely a 'dirty daddy.' He quite likes a nasty, no-holds-barred fuck fest, and those have way more to do with your lower half than your upper half. Something about your ass being his is also more satisfying than any other piece of you. He's a bit possessive that way.

Lloyd Hansen 1 / 99

Boobs can be fake, and unless he is actually fucking your tits, they aren't doing anything for him. Lloyd feeds off of touch sexually, so it's all about that booty bouncing on him or taking him deep or bruising beneath his grip, know what I mean? Yeah, you do, @ellethespaceunicorn.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; 'Who Would...' Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[nonbinary-potatoes]

New obsession with these two

Prompt: muggle 06/11/24 @moonwater-microfic

Word count: 536

Regulus stared down at his textbook with his hands in his hair. It wasn't supposed to be a difficult subject, but this homework was impossible. Barty was working on the same peice, breezing through the essay to the point where he'd broken his first quill from writing too fast.

"Bab," Regulus kicked Remus' shin under the table they were sitting at in the library. Remus looked up from his work, a history of magic essay he'd drafted 3 times already. He cocked his head and placed his biro down gently. Regulus found it odd that he refused to use quills anymore, something his friend Lily Evans had taken up after Snape had called her a mudblood. He supposed it was just a way of supporting her, and it had really taken off with other muggleborn students.

"Yeh Reg," he muttered, stifling a yawn and scrubbing his eyes with his hands.

"You're friends with Evans, the muggleborn... can you help me with my muggle studies work" Regulus asked timidly, he wasn't used to needing help with his work and it was easier to ask Remus over Barty who'd loom it over him for the rest of forever.

"My mums a muggle..." Remus said, slowly like it was something bad to reveal to Regulus. He was taken a bit aback, the Lupin name despite not being one the sacred 28 was still a pureblood name. An oversight on Regulus' behalf for not asking, but he didn't really like prying into home lives because Merlin knew he didn't want to answer questions about his.

Remus clicked the top of the pen, and a small spring made the tip of it pop out. He clicked it again, and it went back in. Regulus thought someone ought to recruit more muggle intelligence into the wizarding world because quills and ink wells seemed ancient compared to this. Most of the wizarding world was still stuck in the mid-1600s. Hence, Regulus is struggling so much with the homework;

"Explain three methods of muggle transportation, including at least one method of flight." Regulus read the set task aloud and looked at Remus expectantly.

"Ummmmm.... trains, planes, and busses. " Remus shrugged, offering a small smile as he read the textbook upside down. It wasn't fair him and all his weird friends were so effortlessly smart.

"I actually wanted to do hot air balloons instead of planes," Regulus muttered sheepishly, half prepared for a lecture on how that was stupid.

"I've been in a hot air balloon once" Remus replied thoughtfully "the way they work is easy, just uses the concept of hot air rises essentially. There's a flame that heats the air in the balloon bit and that makes it take off, less flame to go down and more flame to go up" Remus explained softly, scribbling down a few bullet points and drawing a small sketch of a hot air balloon.

It was the small things like that, things that reminded Regulus that love could be soft and kind and warm. Love wasn't harsh words and unbearable punishment to ensure the perfect heir. Love was milk chocolate, parchment notes, and fiction books; sugar mice, secret smiles, and clicky pens. Love to Regulus was Remus Lupin.

[autumnmobile12]

Epic the Musical: Not Sorry For Loving You

Regarding the debate about Rivera-Herrans' choice in writing Odysseus as sympathetic to Calypso and telling her he loves her even though she trapped him on her island for seven years...I may have some context.

And I’m really hesitant in posting this because I know the ‘Calypso was Odysseus’ lover or abuser’ debate is a volatile subject. I guess what I’m saying is please be kind.  I don’t want to fight about this, but I do want to provide some insight with what I know about Greek mythology.

...

My guess is the song was largely inspired by this conversation between Calypso and Odysseus in the original Odyssey. (Abridged because the full text is too long to be concise):

“…Kalypso the goddess thus began: ‘Son of Laertes, subtle Odysseus--so then, your mind is firmly set on returning now without delay to your home and country? Go then, and joy go with you, in spite of all. Yet if you knew--if you fully knew--what miseries are fated to fill your cup before you attain your own land, you would choose to stay here, to join with me in calm possession of this domain, to be beyond reach of death…”

Subtle Odysseus answered her: ‘Goddess and queen, do not make this a cause of anger with me. I know the truth of everything you say; …. Yet, not withstanding, my desire and longing day by day is still to reach my own home and see the day of my return. And if this or that divinity should shatter my craft on the wine-dark ocean, I will bear it and keep a bold heart within me. Often enough before this time have war and wave oppressed and plagued me; let new tribulations join the old.’ -The Odyssey, Homer, trans. by Shewring.

…

In this conversation, we see Calypso asking Odysseus if he’s sure he wants to leave her and return to Ithaka, and that he would have an easier life if he remained with her forever immortal. And he asks her not to be angry/hurt and that whatever lies ahead on his journey, he’ll face it bravely. (Choosing a simple life but a life of obscurity as opposed to returning to hardship and being remembered as a stalwart hero.)

Giving this the context of the Ancient Greek cultural lens, Odysseus and Calypso were lovers.  The above conversation is immediately followed up with this:

So he spoke; and the sun sank and darkness came; then the pair withdrew, and in a recess of the arching cavern they took their pleasure in love, and did not leave one another's side.  -The Odyssey, Homer, trans. by Shewring.

Yes, Calypso trapped Odysseus on her island for seven years and by today’s standards, that's gonna be a huge yikes.  But their ‘lovers’ dynamic becomes easier to understand when you look at the wider collection of Greek myth stories and remember that what we consider a lovers’ relationship by today’s standards is practically nonexistent in this genre and if there is 'love,' it’s probably closer to what we’d recognize as Stockholm Syndrome and so on.

Look at Hera and Zeus’ eternal marital problems.

Jason the Argonaut just setting aside his wife Medea so he can marry another princess.

Helen of Sparta either willingly left Menelaus or Paris kidnapped her, depending on which version you hear.

Theseus abandoning Ariadne and then she marries Dionysus almost immediately after he stumbles across her.

Hades kidnapping Persephone, even in modern retellings where they form a mutual love.

I think the closest we can get to a romantic love story in Greek mythology is possibly Perseus’ rescuing of Princess Andromeda because that has more of the classic ‘hero saves princess from monster, they get married, happily ever after’ trope we're familiar with in fairy tales.

Even Odysseus’ marriage to Penelope calls consent into question because he technically demanded her as payment for helping her uncle, King Tyndareus, out of a difficult situation.

Getting back to the song and Epic: The Musical, the tone of the original text does give the impression that Odysseus is sympathetic for leaving, and I think Rivera-Herrans is trying to reconcile that because he portrays Odysseus as a faithful husband and that clashes with the Greek portrayal where Odysseus and Calypso were lovers in the poem, hence Odysseus giving a more heartfelt goodbye than Calypso may deserve. I go into the original story a bit more with this post.

It’s not a bad portrayal of Odysseus and I do like that Rivera-Herrans chose to resolve the toxic masculinity of the original story. Women in Greek mythology, especially if they’re mortal, are more often than not little more than a plot device while the men get the glory. That said, I think if Rivera-Herrans really wanted Calypso to be a sympathetic figure to his audience, it might have been better suited if he'd referred to the poet Hesiod’s version of events where she held Odysseus prisoner because Poseidon commanded her do it.  He could have easily spun her story as,

“Forgive me, I can’t disobey the sea god.”

That option would have robbed her of free will as much as Odysseus and we could have gotten more on board with pitying her for her loneliness when he leaves, and it would have still preserved Poseidon's role as the villain of the musical. As it stands, the ‘playful but socially clueless’ demeanor he gave Calypso only works if she detained Odysseus a day or two. Seven years of drawing that out is a little much and portrays Calypso as a foolish girl and not as the ‘mighty and beautiful’ goddess she’s described as, by Odysseus himself, in the original.

But that's me.

[granny-core]

How can I enrich life? Especially when you have physical and mental health conditions 🐣🐔🐤

Hi!

This is a big and difficult question to answer, and I have been thinking a lot about what to say. It really varies for each and every person, as well as the nature of your physical and mental health condition, but I will share some things that I do to enrich my own life, and hope some of it will resonate with you.

I know I repeat this a lot, but focusing on the little things is pretty much my main approach to finding joy in being alive. Things like opening the window to smell the rain, buying a magazine, or wearing some nice socks. I'm working on letting go of these big, complicated expectations of what success or a good life should look like, and instead focusing on the fact that I'm alive and can interact with the world, and that is amazing enough. I also very firmly believe in the value of connecting with other people. Just talking about the weather with the person making my coffee in a café makes me feel human, and in touch with other humans. Just observing people from your window and thinking about what you have in common can feel comforting.

Another thing that brings me a lot of joy, is being in touch with the changing of seasons. That way, there is always something to look forward to (November is my least favourite month, but the stores here will carry persimmons now! How lovely!). Preparing for the upcoming season feels meaningful to me, and it is possible to make it as easy or complicated as your health allows for. I like going on little walks in the neighborhood or just sitting outside for a while to feel the weather, looking forward to different foods being in season, watching seasonal movies and shows, decorating, or making little rituals that mark the changes. I guess it helps me feel like my life is not stagnant, and that changes are all around me all the time.

I also like to make sure I have something to look forward to, and try to actively appreciate that feeling. Whether it means getting a pen pal and looking forward to letters, planting bulbs to see them bloom in spring, or promising yourself a treat or hot drink in the evening, I think it boils down to intentionally planning for small moments of joy.

Finally, I think it is really important not to feel disappointed if you expected something to give you joy and excitement, only to discover you don't feel as happy as you imagined you would. Emotions can be unpredictable, especially for us who deal with mental health issues, but the experience can still be worthwhile and can become meaningful to you later, even if it did not bring you the "spark" you imagined. Sometimes that spark will appear in the most unexpected of places as well!

I hope at least some of that can be of help to you. I wish you all the best, and hope that you are happy and safe!

[baddybaddyadardaddy]

There is noise at the edge of Mordor.

A patrolling group of uruk are caught off guard as a group of mortals, all seemingly defeated, crossed their borders all packed with large bags and belongings.

None of the uruk really knew what to do in this situation, so they made sure to confiscate weapons. Except none really carried mkre than herb cutters and small skinning knives..

After some discussing in black speech they decided this was a task only the Lord Father could answer, so they led the mortals to the edge of their hometown and had someone call for their leader.

"What brings you to our lands? I believe our terms were very clear, to leave each other be." Adar stood tall, hand resting on his sword in a gesture of strength.

"Our lands are no longer safe for us." "Our leader cast us out." There were men and women, older and young ones as well.

"We are not allowed to exsist." One spoke, and it got Adar's attention. With another good look he saw the exhaustion in their eyes. The fear they held was not directed at him, nor at his children.

"Come. We shall talk over food. You look like you need it." Mortals were nowhere near as sturdy as the uruk, and traveling all the way to his lands must have been a difficult task.

Around the cook's post the mortals ate, at small tables or on the ashen ground they huddled together. Some, the ones most outspoken, sat with Adar and talked him through the situation going on in their homeland.

They spoke of the tirant who set new laws and rules that would lead to their mutilation, take away their most basic rights or even get them killed without a punishment to their killer. They wholeheartedly believed they were beyond saving if they had stayed.

"I believe your words, and I see your worries. I only ask of the why. Why are you the ones targeted?" It was a genuine question, as he could not see what was so different about these mortals.

"I like men." A male voice spoke up. "And I pefer women." A girl added. "How I want to percieved is not the same as what I was born as. Our new leader believes people like me do not deserve to live.."

"You are cast aside for who you chose to be, or to be with?" The confusion was clear on his face, and what he felt turned to anger. Never in his life had he thought of casting someone out for being different in these ways. His kind did not truly see these things as something to pay any attention to, even.

Adar cast a gaze over the mortals in his town, and decided.

"You may stay, if you wish." He declared. "But know our culture differs from yours. What you find normal may be seen as strange. And our common actions may be seen as offensive to mortal standards. You will have to learn to live among uruk, and I will inform my children of newcomers who need to find their place."

All around the group, uruk had come to see. They listened to their Lord Father speak kindly to the mortals and took his lead. Soon enough they all settled into homes, huddled together still, but all with rheir own places to make themselves useful during the day and share their skills.

Mordor sounded terrifying when the royals spoke of it, but truly it was a haven for all those cast out by their own realms.

OKAY SO. Eh, yeah. This one is for everyone who needs a little fantasy to escape the scary reality of the world. As a European I can't say I know what all of you in the US are going through, but I still wanna share some words fo escape into for a little bit. I love all of you.

You matter ♡

💚🐰

Awww, thank you so much for sending this, friend 🖤🖤🖤

15/10 would choose to go live among the uruks at this point.

[necrotic-nephilim]

I started in DC by reading fanfics, but as I began to read actual comics, I started to be unable to read the actual fanfic that got me into it in the first place because it's so out of character.

But there are still some stories that I love to read because I love the found family trope so much, even if it isn't really accurate to the source material.

As a comics purist (sometimes), are there tropes that you like enough that you'll still enjoy a fic even if it's not accurate to canon?

oh my god this is SUCH a fun question. bc while i started with the comics, there were certain characters and/or character dynamics where i was exposed to the fanon before the canon (just bc it's hard to read everything when you start out just to read some fanfic) and so i've definitely experienced the fanon to canon transition. (*especially* with Jason Todd. i had only read 80s/90s stuff where he was already dead or the New-52 bc that was on-going when i got into comics and man. the fanon misunderstandings i had about him before i got frustrated and sat down to read all his pre-Flashpoint stuff were absolutely bonkers.) and aside from that, whilst i tend to prefer canon over fanon, i'm not past giving fanon its flowers for occasionally having really interesting insights. occasionally. so some of my fanon "guilty pleasure" tropes would probably be

Morally Grey Tim Drake - this is one where if you try to back it up with canon, i *will* get salty about it. of everyone in the Batfam aside from maybe Bruce and Cass, Tim has the *most* black and white morals. often his internal conflicts are routed in such an inability to compromise his moral views and it can cause him to clash with other characters. he's *very* stiff and rigid in his beliefs and is *rare* to compromise in even the smallest ways. i mean, DC has repeatedly used Tim Drake of Tomorrow/Savior/Gun Batman!Tim for a reason. it's to demonstrate that of everyone, Tim *cannot* have his morals compromised. there's no grey area for him. he's zero or a hundred, so if he tips over the edge of "too far" he tips *all the way*, and doing so is one of his worst fears, how he could go "too far" if he let himself. a couple panels out of context from Red Robin (2009) (which was a grief spiral for Tim to begin with) don't change that. now that said. if it's done *right*, i sort of love Tim being morally grey in fanfic. it takes a specific flavor for me, and it's incredibly important to include that mental spiral along with it, of him struggling to justify it. i don't have any interest in "Tim Drake is loosy goosy with Bruce's morals and has the highest kill count and no one knows teehee" bc it doesn't play with the interesting parts of making Tim morally grey, which are fracturing his psyche. but all in all, i think it's fun to put Tim in a morally grey area and i will read it in fanfic and i enjoy writing it a lot

Joker Junior!Tim Drake - i've not written it on this account (yet) but on my main ao3 account one of my biggest fics surrounds this concept. this is one of those "well *technically* it's canon but only in a specific very divorced from the comics universe and would not work at all in the main timeline" so, i categorize it as fanon in that 95% of fics exploring the concept are not doing so within the Batman Beyond universe, but the main timeline. i just love it. I'll take any excuse to whump Tim, but this concept is so fun. psychologically breaking Tim will always be my favorite pastime. there are so many ways to explore the long-term effects this could have on him, how it could affect the Batfam. i'm not a fan of it being used as a "gotcha" to Jason or Babs' trauma with the Joker to paint Tim as the Ultimate Victim, but it is fun to see how their relationships would be affected by being mutual victims of him. (i have a vague JayTim idea where TIm fully retires from being Robin after being Joker Junior and killing the Joker, making Steph Robin for most of his typical Robin era and Jason still tracks him down out of curiosity bc he wants to know what happened and all. very underbaked but i've got thoughts.)

Renegade/Apprentice of Slade!Dick Grayson - this is another one where yes, this happened *sort of* in canon, but i highly doubt most people writing Renegate!Dick have read or are actually pulling from Nightwing: Renegade. it's just an exploration fo the concept fo Dick being Slade's apprentice and i will always eat it up in any capacity. whether Dick grows up with Slade from a young age, or chooses Slade for whatever reason later in life. it's not anything that works in canon bc it compromises Dick morally (similar to the above with Tim) and therefore will always come across incredibly fanon in most fics. but i can't say i don't enjoy it. it's fun to make Dick a little morally fucked up and see what you can make him under Slade's tutelage.

Jason & Damian Meeting in the League -there's no world where i believe this could work in the canon comics. (maybe in the Young Justice cartoon i suppose, but even then i think it's iffy) i would go as far to say it's wildly unrealistic. i don't see a world where Ra's would let Jason anywhere *near* Damian, bc Jason was Talia's pet project that he didn't approve of. that all said, there's something very interesting about how they *could've* met and them potentially bonding during that timeframe. them being somewhat brotherly during this time because Jason sees Bruce in Damian and sort of latches onto the kid and Damian is full of wonder hearing real stories about Batman and Robin, then that getting violently ripped away by Jason leaving the League is fun to me. it's fun how that could affect them within the Batfam and all. it's super fanon to me, but i do not care. i will eat it up

Bad Dad Clark Kent/Good Dad Lex Luthor - i will admit as a late, i've been less and less kind to this particular fanon bc of everything i've argued with people about, *this* one seems the most pervasive as misunderstood fanon. i don't mind when fanon exists, my gripe is when ppl try to claim it's canon. and the *arguments* i've had over this with people who can never seem to cite an actual comic are... frustrating. but that said, i think there is something fun to this strictly in fanon. the duality of who you expect to accept Kon and who you expect to hurt him being flipped is just sort of fun for the occasional guilty pleasure fic. it can make Kon's internal conflict a bit more interesting. the same goes for the Jon favoritism from Clark, it's not a canon thing (and i rlly wish ppl understood how complicated the timeline of Kon and Jon is and any distance from Clark toward Kon isn't malice, it's that Kon is from a timeline that Clark does not remember in the current canon so Clark just straight up doesn't know the poor kid.) but it's sort of fun to give Kon that complex of being overlooked and forgotten sometimes. making Kon just a *bit* more Luthor than Kent will *always* appeal to me in fanfic, especially if he *knows* it's wrong but craves approval from anyone who will give it.

Good Dad Bruce Wayne - i'll die on the hill Bruce is canonically a shitty father. maybe not to the extreme some people write him as, but he's not great at it. that said, i enjoy it in fanfiction. sometimes, i just want silly fluff or hurt/comfort where Bruce finally gets it right and manages to comfort whatever Batkid is in the fic. one of my favorite fics of all time is hinged on Bruce being a good dad, so i think it's just fun to explore how good the relationships *could* be, if Bruce was slightly less of an asshole. i usually prefer him as an asshole, but there are times i want low stakes nonsense.

Gotham Rogues Having Soft Spots for Robin(s) - just about every Rogue in Gotham has done something absolutely irredeemable, and most of them don't like or care about anyone in the Batfamily. but if there's a fic where one of the Robins inexplicably is sort of close with a Rogue and they have a cute silly relationship out of it? I'll eat it up i fear. Steph and the Riddler are besties? I'll believe it. Tim and Scarecrow get along pretty well? give me ten of these. Rogues protecting Robins just hits a spot. the unexpected nature of the relationship, as well as the fact they see each other regularly, can make a lot of good fodder.

[bluespiritshonour]

What are your atla character rankings? 👀

I guess it's pretty obvious from my blog that Zuko's my favourite. I mean, I do draw him the most.

But I don't have any character rankings among the Gaang.

But if we're talking about it video game style, as in, who's the most powerful. Then, eh, I guess I'd say Aang. He might not be better than others in their respective elements—but dude was 12 and he was so OP. Plus, he is a master of his own element before he was 12, so... Then Katara, girl worked hard, okay? And she's the only one who can best Azula.

I do think Azula enjoyed fighting Aang because he was a challenge for her, unlike a lot of other people.

But you see, even ranking characters video game style isn't very accurate. I do think Aang's more powerful, but he was never the one who won/came close to winning a fight against Azula. (Katara did: she came close in Crossroads of Destiny and she won in Sozin's Comet). Combat isn't that simple, there are a lot of factors that come into play.

One can say there's a significant difference between, say, Aang and Zuko (Aang's clearly a better bender) but if we try to rank Toph and Azula it'll be difficult to say.

I also think Zuko and Azula might be similar in terms of raw power but Zuko doesn't win any fights: Azula is more precise and strategic and hence a better fighter.

I mean, there are so many things to establish that about her character: blue flame meaning her fire is pure and she's the only firebender who consistently bends with fingers instead of fists. They put in a lot of effort to show she's better and why she's better. When she fights you'd notice that she masterminds the fight. She makes her opponent do what she wants.

So, I guess, very crudely speaking: Aang first. Katara second. Azula third.

But that still feels wrong because we know Azula can kick Aang's butt in a fight. And Katara wins against comet powered Azula. (Then you'd have to consider how quick thinking she is—which is something we know of Azula too, but she wasn't herself during this fight but then, Katara almost had her back in crystal catacombs too until Zuko interrupted her—argh!!! You see why it's difficult?)

And I have no idea where Toph would fit in here.

I think trying to rank them that way is a futile exercise. Although I will admit to spending a significant amount of time thinking about Aang vs Katara vs Azula in general. I can't help it🥹

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i love the combative way yaz asks questions after s12. i dont think she does it so much in s12 but from halloween apocalypse on (im thinking of "so you know them, these sea devils?" or "yeah, what does quantum extraction mean?" rn but im sure there are more) her questions always feel half challenge half like shes already gearing up for a fight

[triptychofvoids]

what kind of music you like listening to? could be directed either to you or the doc (or both!!)

my favorite genre of music is.. whatever i like listening to. i just like music a lot!!

if youre wanting a more specific answer than that, then i really like classical, swing and big band, and mid-century modern lounge and jazz!! bossa nova also maybe. i also like listening film scores and the occasional opera.

we also somehow happen to be in the year 2024 at the moment so maybe youre wondering about some newer genres? well all of the above is still very true! but i also like electroswing, most kinds of rock, early 2000s rave and edm.. most kinds of edm or electronic actually, and this tends to cover a wide variety of genres but i also like listening to video game soundtracks.