#this was . difficult to say the least lol

[audliminal]

It's Just a Game, Right? Pt 10

Masterpost

The thing is, Tim has a few more resources than the average person. And maybe it's cheating, but the names in the first video aren't exactly the most unique, and when he and Bernard google them, they get a lot of results, and nothing very obvious. Which means that Tim spends most of the night laying next to Bernard, staring at the ceiling as his brain spins in some extremely fruitless circles. And by morning he is unquestionably exhausted and annoyed. Bernard is as kind and empathetic as he ever is, and the moment he realizes Tim's insomnia had gotten the better of him, he goes about making Tim an absolutely delicious breakfast. And then Tim has to go to work, and deal with idiot business people who think nothing of tactics that would harm thousands of their own employees.

Being an absolute pinnacle of restraint, Tim does not throw a chair at the department head who tries to subtly suggest cutting down his department's bonuses to increase his own, and he goes through dozens of emails, but by the time it's late enough to get away with leaving for the day, Tim is feeling exceptionally irritated. So, maybe it's cheating, but it's not like anyone has to know. After all, he can always work backwards once he has the connection, and present Bernard with a more appropriate methodology. So around mid-afternoon, he heads to the batcave and plugs some parameters in, so it can cross-reference the results for him.

What he gets is interesting, to say the least. The program flags a handful of different individuals and documents, but among them is an article from the Gotham Gazette about a motorcycle accident. Listed as victims are two teens, named Katherine Taylor and Jonathan Woods, both names that were among the details of the first video. It seems too odd to be a coincidence, though, and when Tim searches for the individuals in question, he manages to find their obituaries, and the photos reveal a near definite match.

It leaves something of a sour taste in Tim's mouth when he remembers this is supposed to be a fiction thing. Unless somebody involved in this knows how to hack shit real well, then they're using real people who cannot possibly have consented to becoming part of some game. There's also implications in the fact that the date listed for the photos is well after their deaths. He knows enough to know ghost stories aren't exactly uncommon in these sorts of things, but trying to imply that real people have become ghosts? Especially when ghosts are usually antagonists in scary stories — Tim stolidly reminds himself not to jump to conclusions, and simply notes the connections and moves on.

The bat computer, unfortunately, doesn't pull up info about the three other names, and it pulls up way too many results when it comes to the listed locations. It takes almost an hour of fiddling with search parameters, before he finally managed to land on something that might be a match. It's difficult to tell, because the photo they'd used is definitely old, but it looks like the Carle Park in question is in Illinois, which ostensibly gives them a location, corroborated by the fact that a highway 49 runs not too terribly far from it.

It takes a while of debate, but eventually he decides to go ahead and run the other photos of people through facial recognition, in case the photos match anything. He feels kind of slimy about it, but these things are public record, and even if this research isn't supposed to be for anything important, and even if the circumstances aren't exactly ideal, he and Bernard don't exactly have to post any of this info.

He's not sure whether to be surprised when he gets a match on a third individual. This time, the person in question is actually misidentified as Amber McCall, when the girl's actual name appears to be Ember McLain. What's more, the photo they'd been provided with is one of her as a child, despite the fact that she apparently didn't die until 21.

It seems an odd combination of details to get wrong, especially compounded by the fact that she was apparently on her way to fame, with a burgeoning music career. Her death is similarly tragic, reported as an accidental house fire, though Tim finds a contemporary article speculating otherwise. The writing reads as nothing but gossip, though, so he promptly closes it, and at the sound of footsteps, he closes out his search and takes his notebook upstairs, before any of his wayward siblings can start asking him questions.

[epicqtefail]

the urge to draw everything in microsoft paint is hitting again but i should not because i need to get over my fear of layers and the pressure that comes with their facilitation of high standard art

[mabaris]

i refuse to believe that the events of inquisition happened in one year because i’m finally reading tevinter nights and it’s a WEEK’S journey through the mountains to get to skyhold. and that’s not even counting travel time for how long it takes to get from the frostbacks to anywhere else. at LEAST a fortnight’s travel, both ways, any time you want to go somewhere. and we’re making that trip dozens of times

[cccotard]

fueling agent and reflective mirror🔥🔥🔥🔥

[moonviewer]

"I will keep going forward, no matter how hopeless it might seem."

(please do not repost my art and just leave a link to it if you'd like to share instead, thank you!)

[langfield]

do you think vinh was actually in love with safi? i know he starts doubting that he ever was in chapter 5, but if he wasn’t actually in love what do you think his true feelings for her were? emotional attachment maybe? on safi’s side, i think it’s interesting how even after knowing about vinh’s statement about maya she still decides to hook up with him for a time (only to eventually stop sometime prior to the game?? maybe they had another falling out idk). their relationship in general is just very fascinating to me lmao.

god, the safi-vinh dynamic is certainly one filled with intrigue because of all the intense emotions attached to the people within it ; aimed at each other and also at the bystanders whom haunted around their not so defined relationship. there’s just so much baggage attached to them, you know? mostly painful things and a general sense of betrayal or regret, creating a potion of this general wishy washy bullshit that’s hard to parse through … more so in safi’s case than vinh’s, but i’ll touch upon that later! as for your question about vinh and his true feelings, well.

maybe he was in love with safi once upon a time. maybe the fact he believed that he was in love with her is really all that matters. i suppose it depends on what your definition of romantic love and utter devotion is. it’s undeniable he cared fiercely for safi, enough so to become jealous of max ( safi’s object of obsession ), swear off serious relationships in hope she’d want him back, and to engage in a general meddling within her life to make sure she comes out of situations as unscathed as possible. i mean, he schemes to steal a cow skull and then proceeds to throw it through her windshield in an attempt to save yasmin’s and safi’s relationship … it is very extra of him to do, in fact it’s a literal crime, and the game has both max and safi acknowledge the intensity of said action in episode four. we see the memory of the hedgehog he proudly displays on his desk, the carelessness in which safi treats it, her ‘i’ll buy you another one if it breaks’, and how vinh simpers beneath that offer because he doen’t want a new one, he wants this one, the one safi gave him : a gift that was likely unprompted, some sort of surprise maybe, given to him on a whim and cherished better than any other possession he owns. we also see how he breaks it when she dies. then there’s photos upon photos of safi on his phone and it’s implied he takes pictures after they sleep together and -- that isn’t even touching upon how he practically gives up on himself after her death. the mask drops, he starts trying to branch out and find acting gigs elsewhere, wanting to leave caledon forever, and there’s a sense of raw anger and loneliness he feels when she’s gone. he stops hooking up and pushes everyone away besides max, whom he clings to, and it’s a lot, right? there’s love there. obsession, probably. in many ways he’s still the ‘puppy’ following safi around like gwen said, only without maya this time. he waits and stews and he wants, certainly, for her to love him … but was it purely romantic love? who’s to say!

i think vinh wanted safi as his girlfriend before, maybe when things weren’t so tense, and he still believed that fiercely even when he stopped wanting it. i don’t think he knew where his feelings started to dwindle into something less excited and more resigned, or when he started looking for someone else. his priority remained with safi and with yasmin and thus there wasn’t a lot of time to dissect his heart, a rather vulnerable act he already struggles with anyway. he’s a repressive sort of man. he doesn’t do a lot of introspection because he has an act to maintain, a reputation to follow. but i do believe that by the time double exposure takes place, vinh’s love for safi has indeed shifted because his attraction to max veers on something that isn’t purely sexual. there is an undeniable interest, both in dead and living world, that he’s either embracing or squirming away from … i do not think vinh had many crushes at all when he was in love with safi. i don’t think he allowed himself that luxury, because he didn’t want to move on from her, or put himself off the market in case she wanted him again, in bed or in some profound, loving sense. lots of waiting. lots of surrendering, ‘she’ll come around, we’ll make up’, and hoping despite himself. so his romance with max proves to me that vinh is somewhat right in saying ‘or i thought i was’ when talking about safi and being in love with her, because he was before, but he isn’t exactly in love with her now, if that makes sense? i’d say an emotional attachment is a good title for what they have by the time of the games events.

( i do not wish to diminish vinh’s feelings, but i also think there’s a case to be made that he was rather desperate when he thought himself in love with safi ; there was a lot of insecurity within him back when he was a student, weighed down by the fact he was poor and not your standard run-of-the-mill white man … as an adult he scoffs at his acting abilities and wields his power as head of abraxas with a rather tight fist, as though it’s the only control he’s ever had before. it’s rather clear his only two friends were safi and maya and that vinh hasn’t had any since them -- was desperate to stay on their heels despite the fact he was never really apart of whatever they had. it’s not a stretch to speculate that vinh was, perhaps, a cocktail mix of loneliness and desperation rather than strictly in love with safi. maybe confused his all-consuming need to be around her as desire, or maybe just enjoyed feeling wanted by safi enough to mix his wires. after all, why was it safi he was in love with and not maya? vinh also uses sex as a means of coping, as seen by his rather active sex life in game via hookup apps and reggie, so maybe his sex with safi was just that. coping. in it’s own way. regardless, he did love her, or so he thinks so, and to me i think that’s enough, speculation aside )

safiya’s side of things is much more difficult than vinh’s, who is more obvious about his feelings towards her than he thinks he is. there are some brief contradictions, like how it’s stated that safi doesn’t care for vinh ( which is true ) and yet she also acknowledges that when she split apart and lost herself, all that was left of her was moses, lucas, gwen, and vinh. we know that moses and gwen matter to safi, or mattered, and that at one point safi might’ve admired lucas … so where does that leave vinh? if she doesn’t hate him like gwen or lucas now, and if she doesn’t cherish him like moses or max, why is he still apart of her? what does that mean? is it just a metaphor for their times with maya, and how safi will always be connected to that past with vinh because of her love for the caledon’s personal dead girl? was her sleeping with vinh about maya too? or did she actually care for vinh once, albeit weakly and casually, and did that fleeting moment of affection count when she vanished into everyone who’s ever thoroughly affected her life? and, as you said, it’s so fascinating that she hooks up with vinh at all post maya death … it feels strange and odd and unlike her. even in their intimate picture together after fooling around she is nothing but angry, disinterested, her underwear and bra are already back on ( if they were ever off at all? ) and while that’s on account of safi just hating photos, i also think it’s a testament to how irritable she finds vinh’s presence when stuck in it. it’s not a happy photo really, even vinh’s expression is a little red-eyed, forced, like he was likely wasted the night prior. i wouldn’t be surprised if safi was only able to be with vinh if she was … you know … literally out of her mind drunk or high or what have you.

though, that’s just speculation of course. my vague take on things is that safi went to vinh whenever she was partied out or if she was feeling particularly destructive that day ; choked with self loathing over her mom or maya and so sex with vinh was a means for her to feel even worse. some sort of self harm, some sort of outlet where she could be particularly cruel and evil without consequence, because vinh would take it and roll over -- could even be her way of controlling things too, like vinh with abraxas, because we know vinh has no issues with being led around in the bedroom, so that’s some food for thought. i don’t think she thinks about it after or remembers it much … she really doesn’t think about vinh unless it suits her or if she needs to. i always notice how, in episode four, safiya immediately knows what max is talking about when she asks if safi’s ever transformed into amanda, gwen, or lucas. she owns up immediately, confesses, and understands intimately what situation max is referring to. but when max asks about vinh and the phone, there is a brief moment where safi just stares blankly at her -- like she’s thinking about it, like she doesn’t even remember, before it finally clicks after a beat. either she wears vinh’s metaphorical skin a lot ( which, to be fair, she does pretend to be vinh a lot in game ) or she literally thinks of him so little she’ll forget everything about him in minutes. both are likely! she doesn’t even recall what type of alcohol he likes, calling it bougie japanese brandy ‘or whatever’ … and can’t be assed to remember his phone’s pin number exactly, only vague details about a magician scientist that she clearly thought was boring and lame when vinh told her said story, if her hostility and complete forgetfulness is anything to go by. for me, it’s easy to get caught up in a ‘safi did care! she had to!’ angle about vinh, although the game repeatedly shows you over and over again that she does not. she doesn’t even care that max kissed him really, if anything, she’s more jealous of vinh being with max given some of her remarks :

( i know, technically, safi’s ‘come again?’ is more nervous than jealous per se … but there is a certain air to it, especially given the ‘i can be your new boyfriend’ comment as seen above lol. if she loves max and doesn’t care for vinh, i can only imagine how she’d feel about their romance in particular! )

and, of course, there’s that part in episode four where safi can disguise herself as vinh in order to tear lucas a new one. i enjoy that part for many reasons! seeing how safi feels so much more comfortable in someone else’s skin than her own is fascinating and makes for good foreshadowing … but there is also the reveal of her opinions on vinh, unabashed and shameless, when she is finally giving him an ounce of thought :

it’s interesting! she doesn’t care for him, really, doesn’t loathe him like lucas or gwen or her own mother, but there’s a level of vitriol regardless. she thinks him fake. she thinks him a coward. she thinks he’s scared of facing consequences and that he only acts in his own self interest and she hates every bit of that. while safi can confess to doing maya wrong and hating herself for it, she never allows vinh that same courtesy. even says as much to max, claiming that only she had the humanity to regret her choice while vinh apparently didn’t. and yet … she doesn’t hate him? doesn’t feel strongly towards him? he’s still apart of her, a large part, and she can get along with him fine on crosstalk if she so pleases and she can hate his guts but, when the raw truth is revealed, she apparently feels nothing towards him at all? it is fascinating to think about is all. how she doesn’t wish him dead but doesn’t care if he’s alive either despite everything they’ve been through, even though she hates gwen and lucas and her mother more. it’s rather mean, though that’s what makes it so complex and interesting. it shows that safi only ever cares ( and oh, does she care fiercely, obsessively ) for a very slim group of people, and that when push comes to shove, everyone else can fend for themselves for all she cares. she would protect moses and max in a heartbeat, without thought, and the piece of her within them tries valiantly to keep them safe by locking them away from the world ( another thing to dissect, certainly! ), but she doesn’t really extend such empathy towards the innocents caught in her crossfire. she may be tormenting lucas and gwen specifically, but everyone else was going to be collateral damage and safi was fine with that. at least a little bit. vinh falls in that category of inevitable damage, i think, despite their closeness and despite their history, and you can tell that’s what really wounds him at the end of things. safi couldn’t even torment him, didn’t have the want or energy to do so, he was valiantly apart of her and safi didn’t even care about that. very interesting! it’s also heartbreaking in many ways to see two people who should’ve been able to lean on each other, who should’ve loved one another, be nothing but strangers at the end of things. an example of how tragedy doesn’t always bring people closer. sometimes it drives you worlds apart from the one you should be grieving with, which can be seen in other life is strange games, most notably with chloe and joyce, i think.

anyway! tldr : it’s complicated and worth exploring. there are many ways you can interpret their relationship and i highly encourage everyone to find what angle is most interesting to them! and i don’t blame you for finding their dynamic fascinating because it’s easily one of my favorites in double exposure … i don’t think of it often, but it’s always lingering in the back of my mind. regardless, i hope this word vomit is helpful! if i brought up more questions than answers, i do apologize. but thank you so much for such a fun question <3 it was an absolute blast, and tickled my brain enough to pump this out asap.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

winston my quant of billions

[running-in-the-dark]

random thought I had while cleaning/tidying up: I think maybe I tend to get very frustrated and feel like I haven't accomplished anything while doing this because I can't remember what the room(s) actually looked like before. I have aphantasia, I don't have visual memory basically, so while I'm vaguely aware that it was worse before, that doesn't really mean anything? like, I see that there's still things lying around or whatever, and it feels like nothing has changed at all. when that's objectively not true.

maybe I should start taking pictures before I get started, that might help.

[milfbrainrot]

"claire's a bad mom" claire chose to have her kids claire tells her kids bedtime stories and claire pretends not to be in life threatening danger when she's terrified for her own and her kids' safety to help them stay calm and literally only wants to know if they're okay before prioritizing herself and keeping them far away from danger by rescuing herself i think ur just racist

[shinraelectricpowercom]

If the Valar had their way, the fleeing Noldor would never have left Aman, and it's likely that Morgoth would have destroyed/enslaved all of Beleriand (possibly excepting Doriath, but I also think it's likely that Morgoth bringing his full power to bear on the Girdle would have overwhelmed Melian's power, so, maybe not), and then continued to expand his power eastward to the rest of Middle-Earth, possibly getting the opportunity to entirely wipe out, enslave or "corrupt" the humans as well (once they were around).

Canonically the Valar didn't want to intervene in M-E because it would have been too destructive (which, if Morgoth had already destroyed everything, at least wouldn't be a concern) and because they didn't know if they could defeat him again. (JRRT's notes in HoME say that Morgoth was not only the most powerful Vala, but that he was specifically more powerful individually than the rest of the Valar collectively.) The "Morgoth's Ring" analogy suggests that, in "corrupting" a greater portion of M-E than he did in canon, Morgoth would have eventually distributed/diluted his power enough that the Valar could defeat and destroy him, but he also would have had a chance to wreak more destruction on M-E without the exiled Noldor (and the Sindar they rescued from his first siege) there to constantly combat the destructive efforts of his creatures. (It's also arguable that this combat helped weaken Morgoth more quickly than he might otherwise have diluted himself, since I think it's plausible to say that each orc, dragon, etc that died took with it a small part of Morgoth's power, and without strong direct military opposition, it would have taken far longer than 550 years for Morgoth's power to be distributed enough that his "self" was weak enough to be defeated by the Valar.)

While Fëanor's faction could have crossed the Helcaraxë rather than stealing the ships, it's difficult to say exactly what the situation in Beleriand would have been by the time they arrived and Morgoth had had 30 years to consolidate his power and to expand it. I frankly don't think even the Noldor with their preparation and weapons would have been able to effectively stand against him at that point, and even if they avoided being wiped out completely, they certainly wouldn't have been able to build fortresses anywhere in Beleriand, much less the kind of hidden strongholds that Nargothrond and Gondolin were. If the canonical Wars of the Jewels were the elves of Beleriand fighting the "long defeat", it's easy to imagine that a smaller, later, and less-resourced Noldorin host might have rather faced a "short defeat" and been quickly relegated to small pockets of resistance with less overall effect than the organized war effort they put forth in canon (which itself was not enough to fully defeat Morgoth, and would not have been capable of defeating him even if they hadn't been weakened by infighting).

So, to come back to the beginning of the post, it is the Valar's interdiction that caused Olwë and his people to refuse to charter or lend boats to the Noldor; however, I would argue that, despite the Valar's ruling, the Noldor arriving in Beleriand fairly close on Morgoth's heels was an essential part of minimizing the harm Morgoth was able to do to M-E. Obviously, this came at the cost of many Noldorin lives and, due to the kinslaying, many Telerin lives as well (plus the trauma of betrayal and violence from their fellows), but the Noldor arguably had a right to choose to go get themselves killed in Beleriand, even if the Valar disapproved and even if they path they took to get there was not something that was within their rights to do.

I don't mean to divert blame, but as I said above, the Valar's ruling led directly to Olwë's refusal to aid Fëanor, which itself precipitated the First Kinslaying. Although it doesn't justify murder (or, arguably, theft), it doesn't seem like there was any method other than stealing the ships by which any portion of the Noldor have have arrived quickly in Beleriand, especially since the Valar refused to aid the Noldor in leaving. "Freely you came and freely you shall depart" feels rather cheap when the free coming was with Valarin assistance, yet the allegedly-free departure lacks that same assistance. While they did not formally prohibit the Noldor from leaving, the Valar did actively, passively, or by proxy close off many avenues by which the Noldor might have left, leaving the fight which ended in Kinslaying as the fastest (and possibly the only fast) way to get to Beleriand.

And that speed in arriving, as I've laid out above, was essential to allow the (relatively) rapid defeat of Morgoth by the end of the First Age. So it's possible that the First Kinslaying (and subsequent Doom of the Noldor) was a necessary element of the "best possible outcome" for M-E as a whole, once Morgoth had fled Aman and the Valar had determined that they would not intervene in M-E for the foreseeable future. Which is not to justify it as a choice or action that the individual actors involved made, but rather to suggest that the Valar forced the Noldor into a situation where any choice they made would have resulted, either directly or indirectly, in some degree of preventable death and destruction, and despite the horror and fundamentally indefensible character of the First Kinslaying, that choice probably decreased the destruction wrought by Morgoth on M-E and its inhabitants significantly.

The Problem of Evil remains unsolved.

[sskk-manifesto]

Next time we should just skip over ep 3 and do a chapters 84-87 reread

[hermitagereheadcanons]

this isn't an ask or a request, but I hope you could still post it, because since I found this account the wave of love for this fandom crushed me yet again

not to disclose who I am too much, but here's a fact: I was dealing with pre schoolers as a part of my education(or, well, practice). around the same time I discovered the wonderful world of hermitcraft age regress fics. I myself don't regress, but I find those works insanely comforting. anyways I mentioned my education because, while in fics the looking after might be Way to soft and all-allowing (that YES can be very bad even short term), most of the works show it really well. and not just comforting, but as if the authors know Very Well they are portraying not a parent figure per say, but a "cool uncle that looks after you" type character and I LOVE IT. maybe this says smth about my childhood, maybe it's the overwhelming feeling of love coming from a friendship, but still. kudos to everyone who writes age re in this fandom, I love you.

I still haven't explored the topic of age regression as a study (meaning: I haven't really looked up the real world instances), but I have a feeling that learning about this phenomena in psychology feelings-first from a fictional work was a good idea.

Your ask has actually reminded me why I love this blog. I've been a bit out of touch with the fandom lately, but the sense of community that comes from gathering around something so niche is really nice and I love hearing about it.

I'm glad this type of content can be comforting and enjoyable even if you don't regress!

Also, when I originally had the idea to start this blog, there was very little agere-related content in this fandom that didn't emphasize a parental, set-in-stone caregiver as a key feature. I'm happy to see so much more variety in how people portray it in relation to friends and partners.

[orcelito]

Thinking again about my plans for Vash and Knives in ITNL

Which I can't really get into the specifics for How I'm going to do things w/o going into spoiler territory. But I Do have Vash & Knives tagged on the fic for a reason. I set up in the first chapter that Vash is determined to try to save Knives too.

Which. That choice, as well as the entire basis for all of this, depends so much on that final fight in trimax. The one that was literally a scene away from where ITNL Vash went back in time. His mentality just a hair's width away from that...

At the end of trimax, there was reconciliation, however brief and incomplete it was. In ITNL, my question to myself was How could I induce that again? Under different circumstances, How Else could we get there? And that is the long-game in ITNL.

[diverbots]

Hey, it’s been forever since I was on here.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Lincoln and Grant eventually having a very emotional and much needed talk over the speaking stones do you see my vision?

Lincoln who is so hurt and betrayed that he can't even bear to look at his dad right now, who *needs* space, but who loves his dad (the fucking poeticism of that nat 20 babeeey) and keeps the stone with him as a compromise, for when he's ready, as a show of love in and of itself, that he's still his dad's baby, eventually choosing to give him another chance.

Grant who loves his son more than anything in the world, but who can no longer avert his gaze and speak in half-truths and jump off of (cat)buses. Grant who *needs* to prove that he can confront himself and talk about his pain and his shame and his mistakes and try for his son's sake if not for his own to love himself and see himself as something other than broken and beyond repair. Grant who's last chance is stripped of all possibilities of escape and now he can only talk. But maybe it's easier this way for him too. To not have to look at the child he tried so painfully hard but ultimately failed to protect as his heart unravels, to pretend that he is alone with his thoughts rather than speaking to someone, to let the tears fall down his face without having to be seen.

[adore-gregor]

Lol I keep on doing this, saying I'd come back to tumblr to only disappear again 😂😭