#this universe is shit because no matter what I do my friends are still suffering

[campirebitesarchive]

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[tonycries]

You must understand how much i eat up the idea that suguru has the nastiest camera roll of you (from one of your posts). Like pre or post defection he definitely looks at them on a bad day and thinks “as long as i get to ruin this perfect cunt later then all of this suffering is worth it 😩” he’s absolutely whipped and drunk off u no matter what happens.

But, BUT. Please. Do u see my vision. Post defection suguru + you two are broken up because lol holy shit he’s a convict and he still scrolls through that endless album of you. He still worships the ground you walk on regardless if you agree with him or not. Misses you dancing on his tongue and begging for his cock. Or you saying lewd shit like “just one more, please.”

Sometimes he still stalks u a little to protect u bc lil soft spot he has and snaps photos of you in seclusion when he thinks you’re at your most beautiful. Which is like all the time to him but anyways. Maybe not as scandalous and lewd like his camera roll but he definitely wishes he took more candid photos of you at more mundane moments of your lives

Oh my god this but like- imagine the sheer angst.

The sheer pain he feels every time he opens his phone because- shit, its been months but Geto still hasn't changed his wallpaper yet. And it's like the universe is laughing at him, because there you stay in all your gorgeous smiley glory, surrounded by his bestest friends.

And he can't open his camera roll for the life of him - which is made EVEN worse when considering his daughter has a cursed technique to do with taking photos. Now he has to see those sleepy selfies with you, the giggly snapshots and everything in-between any time he's trying to teach her how to better her fighting skills.

And if he ends up back at your door - as he always does - phone shaky in hand and knocking desperately late into the night until you answer, well, maybe a few more photos will end up in his collection.

[corrodedbisexual]

Helping hands (& nails)

Steddie | T | ~5.3k | AO3 link

Written for @steddie-week Day 2: hands

Featuring: Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Homoerotic Wound Care, Flirting, First Kiss, Inexperienced Eddie Munson, Gay Eddie Munson, Confident Bisexual Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson Takes Care of Steve Harrington, Post-Stranger Things 4 Vol. 2, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, POV Steve Harrington

“You literally want me to scratch your back.” Steve groans. “Yes. Definitely, do that. Please.” “Hmm, I love it when they beg.” Steve freezes, speechless for a second. His face suddenly feels several degrees warmer. “Oh my god, shit, sorry, that was—” Eddie begins mumbling awkwardly, moving away, and Steve won’t have it. “Dude, you mind not flirting with me while I’m suffering here?”

It’s a little over a week since Vecna got defeated, and Steve’s got an uninvited guest at his house.

Uninvited is not the same as unwelcome, obviously. Frankly, Steve’s glad to have some company. Really glad. Although technically, Eddie Munson is still supposed to be on bed rest.

Doctor’s orders were two weeks; the demobats got the guy pretty roughed up, taking several juicy bites out of his torso before they all went down along with their master. He got patched up pretty quickly, but his overall weakened state from massive blood loss, the doctors’ concerns of infection and possible Upside Down creature-related consequences, and that annoying little matter of clearing him of the ridiculous murder charges all kept Eddie on a government-sealed floor of the hospital for a whole week, with no visitors allowed.

It’s no wonder that when he was finally discharged to go home, he lasted three whole days before showing up on Steve’s doorstep, unceremoniously inviting himself in and complaining about being so bored he was about to start clawing at the walls of his bedroom.

And, well… It’s Steve’s day off anyway, and his entire planned entertainment for the day was a potential lunch phone call from Robin to gossip and complain about how impossible Kieth is to survive a shift with.

Plus, at least it’s better if Eddie hangs out at his place instead of going out somewhere and doing something stupid that would get him to pop his stitches. Like climbing a tree. Steve hasn’t known Eddie for long, but in a way, he’s known enough to suspect something like that might happen.

But the best part is, Eddie Munson turns out to be really good company. For the first few minutes after the guy arrived, Steve’s a bit worried it would be quiet and awkward; after all, what did they have in common besides the whole Upside Down trauma (definitely not a fun conversation topic)? But the idea that it could be quiet with Eddie around turns out to be absolutely laughable. The guy keeps chatting about anything and everything, from how annoying it is to keep track of all the meds he’s supposed to take to random gossip from the trailer park. He’s vibrant and chaotic, and has a dry deadpan sense of humor that Steve finds himself genuinely laughing at; and pretty soon, he starts wondering if him and Eddie could actually be friends back in high school if the whole ridiculous system of social circles didn’t exist.

Halfway through some other half-finished thought, Eddie suddenly asks, “You hungry? I’m kinda starving, Wayne’s getting groceries tonight and the only option I had for breakfast was, I shit you not, a fucking box of Honeycombs, and honestly? I’d rather eat a demobat. Well, if it was cooked, maybe. Hey, d’you think roasted demobats could be a thing?”

He keeps rambling as he walks, with Steve trailing behind him, grinning and shaking his head because… well, damn. This guy sure is something else. Maybe exactly the kinda something Steve didn’t even know he needed in his life. Honestly, he’d probably say the same thing about Robin last year. Is this some profound universal balance thing? Out of something horrible must come something really good?

Read on AO3 | Divider credit

[featherwingfae]

Gonna try to make this a "Quick post".

(warning some light swearing)

Maybe, just maybe one of the reasons we're seeing so many new Therians nowadays is because humans have fucked up the earth so bad that the universe just went fuck it and threw in a bunch of nature brains to balance things out. People who wouldn't just be able to look at the devastation of wildlife and their homes and just move on like nothing happened. Because they can see themselves in those creatures, and it hurts them to know that they are suffering. And maybe if there's enough nature brains, seeing themselves in the withering world around them, then more and more people might stand up and say this isn't right. We need to fix this. And maybe in a human world where one of the most lovely traits of humanity is being able to work together a bunch of nature brains with human faces can make a difference. They say animals can't speak human. Well they can, and are. Maybe Therians are the voices of nature coming out from the wilds, to places and bodies where they're not comfortable, where the air is heavy with pollution and trash litters the ground. And they have to learn weird shit like math, and work exhausting jobs that are often just to pay the bills that allow them to keep surviving. All so that they can see the damage from the other side and better understand the problem and together find solutions to stop it.

I'm not saying humans (and others) can't and/or dont do anything. I'm saying it's harder to do nothing when you look at creatures suffering and see yourself. Empathy is a beautiful thing. It helps connect us. But in a world where almost no one can afford the barest minimum just to survive. Where finding happiness feels like a struggle because you're constantly grinding and pushing yourself beyond your mental, emotional and/or physical boundaries, how easy is it to just shut yourself off. To put on the blinders because you're stuck yourself and you don't feel like there's anything you can do, so why upset yourself further by caring. It's sad. Terribly sad. Soul crushingly, heart wrenchingly sad.

Most people nowadays suffer from anxiety, depression or some other mental illness. And yes those illnesses are more known and understood now, and are more easily diagnosed. But I think the reason we see them everywhere now, is as simple as everyone is suffering. The human world in its current state, is not a healthy place. Fun times are often merely distraction from the crushing reality around us. It hurts to accept how much hurt there is right now.

I'm not saying it's all on the shoulders of Therians. I'm not saying you have to quit your job or your school and run off into the wild picking up every piece of litter and chaining yourself to trees. That's not what this post is about.

This post is about the increase of Therians and my personal hypothesis as to why there's so many now. And it's as simple as this. One Therian does not shoulder all the burden of the earth. Just as one human does not. But if there are Therians in schools, going "hey look at this little/big guy isn't he cute/cool" showing their friends and classmates"it's so sad he's going extinct because his home is being destroyed" , Therians on trails, streets, beaches seeing litter and using just a little bit of their time to remove at least some of it. Therians in stores refusing to buy certain products because of animal cruelty/testing, Therians manifesting/praying to help even if it's just a little bit, Therians on the Internet/TV spreading awareness, Therians in government actually trying to do what's best for the environment and the people, instead of just what's best for their bank account etc etc.

In reference to that horrible math stuff, a million ones together doesn't equal nothing. No matter how small an act it still adds up to something. Therians everywhere means more people who can't forget, who can't move on, who can't just shutdown and hope for the best. People who feel like they have to do something. So they don't eventually see themselves disappear (go extinct).

The universe and the earth can sometimes have a funny way of balancing things out. Maybe Therians are one way to at least try regaining that balance.

I'm overjoyed to see more Therians. Because I feel like more Therians means more voices for nature, and more chances to save this beautiful planet ☺️✨🌍🌎🌏💚

Anyway that's my two cents. Sorry this post ended up being longer than I intended 😅

And now my fascinating and fantastic creatures, great and small, furry, feathered, scaled or whatever-ed, and all others of open mind who took time to read my ramblings, I wish upon you a most glorious day/night. May we all follow our hearts/souls to do what we feel we can for this magnificent planet. ✨

👁️🪽✨🌟🌱❄️🪻🍀🌎🍄🌹💚🌍🌵🌈⛈️🌠🦊🐁💙

Till next time

[felixisourayofsunshine]

Okay so I really wanted to talk about emonette's character plus Shadybug and Clawnoir's relationship......... Well this is gonna be a long one so sorry in advance

Okay let's go!!!

So as we saw in the special emonette said that she was constantly bullied by Chloe(guess she doesn't change in any universe 😔 that damn brat I hate her.... not more than Lila though) and considering how broken she sounded that was not the same bullying that Chloe of this universe did to Mari that shit must've been extreme. However, I donot think that the bullying alone there must've been more aspects which lead her to the path of evil.

Well, while we're at it let's talk about this scene.. God this was so heart wrenching....

When she said that-

"I'm sorry mommy dear, I fine I just- just dropped my sewing kit it's A BIT DAMAGED"

When she said the above line while glancing at her face which reflected on those broken pieces of mirror.... I swear I wanted to cry. Don't you see how poetic this was, while she seemed to be taking about the broken mirror we can clearly see that the one who is broken Is her some one once said

"But that's the irony, broken people, are not fragile....."

So while emonette is completely broken inside she never lets show on her face, no matter how sad, how broken, how miserable she is she keeps moving forward, you wonder why? Well, because it's MARINETTE for crying out loud.... no matter what universe it is our Mari puts on a brave face in front of other, she tends to hide her scars and crying silently not letting others know. Even in the original universe she would have broken much sooner if it was not for Alya finding out her identity. But as emonette said herself she doesn't have loving parents, a best friend and a supportive boyfriend, she was left all alone to suffer without anyone by her side

I still wonder what her wish really was though, knowing her it certainly not power. Could it be something else which she yearns for. Okay so hear me out do you remember what she said to Mari? She said:

"Do you think that it'd be any different from how it is now? Guess what, I don't have your nice little life. The world where I'm from there are no awesome girlfriends to inspire me everyday, no amazing bff, lovable, calm and gentle mom or a boyfriend who doesn't think I'm a total loser...."

These lines broke me though 😭...

So my theory is that in that universe Tom is dead and Sabine is abusive( I totally can't imagine that tho) that would explain why she behaved like that with Sabine and she works in her dad's bakery to keep his name.

Oh well I have a worse on........ Both Tom and Sabine are dead and she was adopted by someome who were very abusive(let's consider that after she graduated junior high she moved out of that school and is probably out of Chloe's grasp) they even intended to sell the bakery, the only belonging of her late parents she was left with. That was when she met supreme and he offered her that in exchange of killing her abusive guardian she will have to work with him. So maybe her wish could be returning to those happy times with her parents without Chloe or any suffering. Well I guess it was a bit far fetched but anywaaaays.... 😅

Okay let's analyse another scene..... The one where she was reading Mari's diary.

What's interesting about her in Mari's room was that she certainly recognised her room and we can see that she does live in the bakery after all. The reason why she acted that way was to save her identity getting exposed to Claw Noir(which I don't think she cares that much about) or she really wanted to find out if this version of her had a better and happier life than hers.while she pretended that she wanted to look for clues, she went through Mari's personal stuff life her computer, her diary and her other things not because she was looking for clues but because she wanted know what kind of life this MARINETTE had.

Look, she was crying while reading that diary. She wants this life.

Just look at her... Looking into the life of a version of herself she wishes she could be. A world where "THERE ARE AMAZING GIRLFRIENDS TO INSPIRE HER EVERYDAY, AN AMAZING BFF, LOVABLE AND CALM MOM AND A BOYFRIEND WHO DOESN'T THINK THAT SHE IS A TOTAL LOOSER".

You see.. behind that evil mask there is a broken girl who longs to be loved. she wants a shoulder to cry on, hands who would embrace her tight when she is crying. She may look like a total badass who doesn't need anyone but no! that's not the case at all.

Aaaand I think she does have someone like that in her life already, and that person is the one and only CLAW NOIR. ........Even if she refuses to acknowledge it.

So, while she was shutted down, abandoned, bullied and absused her whole life and had no one to helf her up, Claw Noir was there for her,even though he is a total dork who teases her all the time.

Well yeah he is hella rude and disrespects her A LOT, it may look like she may never fall for him normally, but lets consider emonette's circumstances...... As much as we know she doesn't have anyone to rely on, no friends and probably no family. She never had anyone to inspire her. In a life like this...... After she got her miraculous and met Claw Noir, she finally had a reason to live, a reason to fight and a person, she could work together with and trust just a little bit yeah not totally cuz well he does let her fall head on..

In Mari's room when she reads the diary and learns about Ladybug and Chat Noir's relationship, their friendship, their partnership. She does look like she wants that too. (Also this may not apply to everyone but sometimes two people who like each other tease each other a lot....... )

They may fight eachother and not consider each other as partners, but they do make an amazing team. They may not be partners but they've got eachother's back at time of need. Just how Shadybug needs Clawnoir's strength while fighting and how Clawnoir relies on Shadybug's plans.

Also this scene...... While you can say that he is acting this way because he now knows that she is Marinette, the girl he likes.., but we know he is Adrien afterall he may care about Shadybug deep down without realising it and with him now knowing who she really is has realised it.

Just look at him he looks sad when he sees her cry too. He may act like he doesn't care but he actually does. He is like "I am the only one who can hurt her, anyone else who dares to do that must pay....." .

And the scene where she opens up to Mari was just so emotional, I literally started crying. There was pain, sorrow and grief in her eyes. She was suffering and was jealous of Mari,'cuz she thought that she had everything for granted, she thought that she never knew what suffering was like. Her words were so sad. But after Mari made her feel that they really are alike and changed her for better I felt so happy......

And after that when she met (now improved) Claw Noir they felt like they were more to each other and I loved it..

All I want now is a ShadyClaw series.. we need to know what happened after that.... And before they landed in the multiverse.

Well aren't they the cutest.

I wish they become a couple in future.....

Oh well that was a long one.....

Well I had it in mind for quite a long time but couldn't write it because I have exams coming 😭. But wanted to finish it before I forgot it. So here I am. I hope y'all liked it though.

Okay let's end it with a quote:.

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

I hope this becomes true for our beloved emoadrinette.

Bug out!🐞🐾

[goodolddumbbanana]

I just remembered something, when Sun went to Nothing happens!universe, alt!Moon mistakes him (at first) for these Sun have portals.

Which means, not only Dark Sun, but still a number variant of Suns, who possessed the same intelligence or, maybe gain his knowledge from eating their Moon.

So, where are they? Where are these Sun? Why does nobody know about them, and why see-all people still concede Sun as Dumb or Useless?

Because in the strangest way just like Earth, whom the evilest version of her just her being president, Sun normally doesn't have evil variants, cuz even Puppet is surprised about him and unable to read Dark Sun. (We didn't see cringe!Dark Sun in cringe dimension proves my point)

I think someone has killed them. The amount of smart Sun has already been terminated, and only the small mounts like Dark Sun and someone honestly just like to hide and being alone. Maybe by Creators because honestly, even Creator hates Sun the most, he seems... I don't know how to describe it, speak to Sun with closure.

(you know the way your parents always say you are disappointed but still they know and acknowledge your abilities? And the possibility that Herry is the want who used to work with Creator? What if Sun is the result of a divorced and herry never paid his child support leading Creator feeling salty about Sun because he reminds him so much about Herry? So he needs to dumb Sun down?)

Cuz Dark Sun seems very confident when he says it only the matter of time when a Sun snapped, and Sun shares the same opinions when he said to alt!Moon this alt!Sun would never grow backbone in that way and he just grew out of being happy like it is the fate of a Sun, suffering and dead or suffering and living out of sprite.

Btw, New Moon's name is so cringe. I wonder what plan they will do with Nexus. Because as I was saying before, Nexus would become a new villain but for how long and does him even have a redemption arc now?

Surely because of the comeback of the Old Moon, Nexus would stay the same like right now as his personality still roaming in his teenage phase.

But then what? Will he still roam free and don't care about anything like right now? (Making new friends and abandoning his old so-called family just because he is obsessed with the idea of being himself, just like Eclipse v1 just lives out of sprite because he wants to avenge Old Moon?) and then die as a villain, again and again, or just get out of the narrative like Eclipse V4?

Or he slowly but surely will have his redemption arc and has 'oh shit, I still care' moment with Sun and he gives up becoming such a deranged?

Nexus says he doesn't care about anyone anymore, what if because of that he will hurt Sun above his imagination to prove a point?

Because since when Nexus wakes up, Sun is the person Nexus has been focusing on the most.

He takes care of Sun when he has mental breakdown moments, he snapped at Sun when he realised Sun is lying to him but still went and rescued him. He and Sun get yeet in Ruin dimension and yet instead of angry and tired with Sun like some people, they are hand-in-hand (not ship) and face the world. Nexus always reminds Sun he is the person Nexus trust most and Nexus can't lose Sun. He even almost spilled the bean to Sun when they talked about how to bring Solar back and hit the wall several times to get out of the nightmare when Sun died. He even kneed down and begged Eclipse V4 to know where Sun was and his Old self always nagging at Nexus to protect Sun. He honestly tries better just for Sun and when Sun said he was disappointed at Nexus, Nexus seems like cool-down a little bit, and even trying to convince Sun to let him out or just let him do it for the family, kill Bloodmoon and save Solar.

The last conversation they have seems to be more civilised than I imagined. Never once, Nexus yelled at Sun. He spoke with Sun in a soft, slow voice, like he was still aware how much Sun is afraid of loud noise.

Like sure, Nexus still hit Sun right in the chest with all the bullshit that he said, but unlike with Earth, when he shut her down right away by calling her name and tossing her aside like an unwanted damage; he still trauma dumping with Sun, he still talked a little bit of his feelings to Sun, about his plan, etc...

And sure all the things he said were terrible but I think it can be worse with Sun. Which means even though Nexus doesn't care, he still cares about Sun like an instinct.

(I think he was talking the truth to some degree when he said he is indifferent about others. Nexus was numbing all his feelings since Solar died, and actively did it worse in order to surpass his old self, which leads to him so exhausted that he is unable to care about the others and wants to throw all of his relationships away.)

Bet the feeling of Nexus for Sun right now is so conflict with a lot of resentment and careness. Because on one side, Nexus still cares about Sun to some degree which maybe if Sun dead, he would feel guilty and maybe feel sad and snapped his actions for a moment. On the other hand, he wants to distance himself from what A Moon calls a Moon, and get rid of all Moon's nagging and want before, like his policy about protecting family in general and Sun in particular.

Like how he even asks Dark Sun why Dark Sun doesn't like to change his name, to separate the image of Sun and Dark Sun. It's almost like Nexus doesn't want Dark Sun to remind him of Sun at all and he still craves the love and agreement of somebody, seeing how he compliments Dark Sun's home and his dog guard...

If Nexus and Sun meet again, I don't think things would end well. Either Nexus would nonchalant say he never cared about Sun and all the time they spend together he was forced and was affected by the Old Moon and tried to hurt Sun because Sun got involved in his plan or just pure his selfishness want to make a point.

Or, he would be angry and snap back at Sun and just do the same actions like I said above.

And Sun...

Out of all people, only Sun, I think only Sun still cares about Nexus and understands him deeply, which leads him to definitely feel guilty, shocked and hollow to seeing his use to be brother go down in such manners.

(because Earth doesn't want to do anything with Nexus since he almost killed her. And she has a higher intelligence emotions level to know She deserves better than this and she wouldn't spend more time to blame herself because of what happened to Nexus. Lunar after killing Eclipse, realized it is not worth it to spend time with people who choose to be terrible, will definitely move on soon.)

Sun,... I don't think this time if Sun meets Nexus again, Sun would just stand by and do nothing. I think, this time, Sun may try to defend himself. Either in the "oppsie silly me, I accidentally killed Moon again" moment, or... Just straight out blasting Nexus.

And The way Nexus sees Sun no longer cares about him, would definitely hurt Nexus inside.

May he become deranged more, or will think back of what he did, that is what time would tell.

[zaceouiswriting]

Fairy Prince - Hearts of Leviathans - Ch.40

Character: Sky x male reader, Riven x male reader, Brandon x male reader

Universe: Somewhere in Winx Club/Saga

Warnings: None

"Your Majesty!" I hear someone call out. This is nothing new because in my dreams (as in real life), the soldiers almost always call me that, even though I told them not to. Sometimes, they did it because they were supposed to, and sometimes, they did it to annoy me. It always got my attention. I ignored it and delved deeper into another dream, just waiting to be explored. "Your Majesty!" The persistent voice has grown louder, annoyed even, in a deep, crisp tone dripping with sarcasm and an aura of entitlement.

"Go away, Corey! Can't you see that I'm sleeping?"

“I see that, you idiot, but it’s morning, and classes start soon!”

I grit my teeth and crack my eyes open just a slit, hoping the older one wouldn't see it. But like the truffle pig he is, as soon as I do, his searching nose must have smelled the water in my eyes because his stupid face is immediately in mine. Irritated by his behavior so soon after waking up, I put my hand on his face and push it away, only to turn my head and lay it back down.

"Ouch!" I scream as I feel a sudden pain on my forehead. Reflexively, I open my eyes fully, only to be blinded by the piercing morning sun as if it were some beacon light shining directly in my face. As soon as I could see again, I stared straight into Corey's emerald eyes. Those eyes are the mark of the Jaton family. Our current capital in the Black Mountains is part of their territory and has only served as our vacation palace in the north until the catastrophe. But after our ancestral seat sank along with most of our world, we settled within this palace's walls. My family was just lucky that we were visiting the Jaton family, or the Jade Panther family, as they are known among my people. The Jade is their family stone, and beneath their capital is a cave containing a floating emerald stone that keeps their capital intact with an abundance of magic, while the mentioned Panther is the nickname of their founder, as he was as fast and vicious as a one on the battlefield. Few people could ever surpass the speed of a member of the Jaton family.

Looking into those eyes, I can clearly see concern but also a form of disappointment. I couldn't believe it! How dare he be disappointed in me when he slaps my forehead! Just as I'm about to turn the fires of death on him, he does it again. Instead of reacting to the slap, I hit back where it hurts the most. Watching his eyes widen, a breathless cough escaping his mouth, and his knees hitting the ground has to be one of the most satisfying things I've ever seen or done. I was finally able to stand up to this good-for-nothing bully.

To make matters worse, my little friends, awakened by the ruckus around them, are staring at Corey, baring their fangs and hissing at him, ready to attack. I wonder if these creatures would make useful soldiers in my future army. Just the thought of them wearing tiny suits of armor with tiny weapons brightens up my ruined morning.

The whole time I keep my eyes on the suffering ass on his knees. Maybe I should kick Riven in the balls, too. But I'm afraid he'd enjoy that, like everything I do to him. What a sick, twisted psychopath. I once threatened to step on him, and his face will haunt my nightmares forever. Even though I think he does this shit on purpose, I don't want to risk it. Otherwise, he'll end up marking me like a dog or something, and I'll never get rid of him.

"I swear by our Leviathan, as soon as I can stand again-" Corey's threat was interrupted as the little critters jumped on him, biting and nibbling at him. "Get off me!" He was about to smack them away.

Furiously, I grab his hand just in time. Pressing my tongue to my teeth, I whistle to the animals. They immediately jump back to me, land on my shoulders, and rub their angry heads against me again.

"You may still be tired, old friend, but if you or anyone hurts one of them, I will kill you because these little animals are more important than almost any other being, living or dead!"

Seeing the confusion in his eyes, I remind him that they are Skerools, the back and bones of our planet. But it took a few moments for his head to snap back. His eyes widened, switching between them and me. He quickly lowered his head, apologizing to the animals, and I, as my ancestor who had discovered what these creatures could do, declared them sacred beings to our Leviathans. Since they were sacred beings, they were equal to the royal family and protected from anything and everyone. Not even one of the Jatons can dare to stand against them.

Although I can see the uncertainty in the animals' eyes, probably because they couldn't understand Corey's words, I explain it to them as best I can with a few whistles and clacks. I learned their way of speaking as a child when my best friends couldn't play with me. Back then, I didn't particularly like dealing with people, and my siblings were too small. So I went to the garden to play with the Skerools. They came right away, loving me being around. Even the first time, they treated me as one of their own.

Smiling, I rub the heads of some of the Skerools. They had their eyes closed when I did this, so I waited until they opened them again to stroke Corey's head as well and loudly accept his apology. The little ones quickly notice. But their incomprehensible chatter is interrupted when one of them, clearly their leader, steps forward; his status is evident because of his black fur with a white belly and a brown stripe that divides his head, while all the others are brown, some with faint black details. Little Skerool carries himself with dignity. He raises his little hand and strokes the side of Corey's head.

My honorable friend couldn't believe his eyes but said nothing or did anything about the insult. When I hold my hand out to my new little friend, though, he doesn't seem to want to let go of Corey's hair. Shrugging, I turn to the others and pet them, to my delight. It's not long before a furry butt sits on my face, and four pairs of eyes stare down at me in disappointment. Without hesitation, I grab him by the neck and lift him from my face. I sit back up and tell the others to leave me so I can put their leader on my lap and pet him as much as he wants.

"Why are you here, Corey? You would have sent my roommates if it was just because I was late."

I hear a sigh from my side before he explains that he already sent my roommates; however, no matter what they tried, they couldn't get over the wall. But when he tried, he managed it immediately. Speechless in the face of this information, I try to understand how this is possible until, a few moments later, the realization dawns on me. Shortly afterward, I jump up from my stone bed, where many of my new little friends are still sitting, and go to the wall. With my hand on the stone, I feel clear vibrations; a slight grin crosses my lips because my suspicions have been confirmed. No wonder no one else got through except Corey and me.

With a knowing grin, I turn back to the older man. Although his face is stern, I can still see a certain softness in his eyes. "Have you spoken to your little brat of a brother?" He immediately becomes tense, so his conversation has not gone well.

„He believes that you left him without even a goodbye,“ Corey mutters, averting his gaze. Just as I'm about to say something, Corey beats me to it and tells me something that stuns me, so I ask him to repeat it. "My brother doesn't even know he's dead."

Suddenly, my head is spinning, my eyes showing me once again the day I lost control—how my stone spikes impaled him, just timidly in the corner of my eye. I didn't even notice it then, not until it was far too late. I didn't even hold him in my arms when he died, not until his body was already cold. Now, I remember it clearly: I kept fighting, and only when the skirmish was over did I look for him to celebrate, only to realize what I had done. It was the only time I cried on the battlefield. But how could my and his best friend not know that he was dead? He was a war hero, even though we had to leave his body behind as the enemies received reinforcements.

Corey must have noticed my distress because he came to my side and held me so gently that I almost saw the old him again. Only to shatter my world even further. "Almost no one outside the lower classes knows about the war.“

It should be impossible, but the way Corey said it, I knew it wasn't a lie. But how could this happen? My men bled and died for this, and our people don't even know about it? While raging inside about this, I suddenly fall limp. Another realization hit me like a mountain. Were all these people just cannon fodder? No, no, that can't be; my grandfather wouldn't do that! Or was it an attempt to get rid of me? Why else was I the only high-ranking noble on the battlefields? My hands fly over my mouth, unable to hide my shock any longer.

“Corey?” I ask breathlessly.

"I think so too," he replies as if he can read my mind. "I only know about it because I eavesdropped on a conversation between your grandfather and my father. But there was nothing I could do to help you." There are tears in his eyes. Seeing them, I freeze in that moment. Just a second later, he starts crying. "And when I saw you at Red Fountain without hearing a word from you for years, I just couldn't stand it; I was so angry!"

"I send letters twice a week," I interrupt quickly. This silences Corey, although it doesn't stop his tears. "I actually wrote you and your stupid brother two letters a week."

We both know they were intercepted without either of us having to say it. And I thought my family couldn't sink any lower. Shaking my head, I grab his arm, ready to confront my best friend with this new information. If anyone can figure out who is to blame, it's him, with his endless network of acquaintances.

[Masterlist]

[a-student-out-of-time]

Hi. You don’t need to respond to this ask, I just wanted to say this. The recent couple of asks have really solidified this for me. While I’m alright with mental health being a very large focus of this story, in fact I’m very happy about it…I’m worried about certain terms that have become watered down buzz words within it. Like the Self-Pity thing. I feel like that it’s just been used whenever a character, particularly characters such as Haijime or Chiaki, feels bad about a situation, like the last couple of asks. Being upset about something bad happening (like killing someone, even a terrible person) and feeling bad about a situation is a pretty normal response. And I’m just worried about people just throwing it around at upset characters, as well as other mental health related issues. While I agree that characters need therapy, and discussion of different mental health issues is important, I don’t want people getting the wrong idea about these sorts of things. If I’m being honest, after learning more about self pity from this blog’s definition of it being, at least in my eyes, a bad thing with no good sides to it, it just made me feel worse, because any time I felt bad about what I was going through, I though I was being selfish and awful by pitying myself, which made my self esteem take a drop . I know this wasn’t your intention, but I just wanted to say something about my experience. I’m sorry. Thank you if you read all of this.

//Hey there, thank you for reaching out and bringing this to my attention.

//I just wanted to be as clear as I can be on this: everything I've said about self-pity in this story is not simply about feeling bad or guilty about your actions, because that's a perfectly normal thing to do.

//What we've discussed here is when self-pity becomes so overwhelming and self-destructive that it causes harm to others in the process. When you deny others any sort of emotional connection, dismiss them because you don't feel worthy of their efforts to help you, it not only denies you the ability to grow as a person, it also hurts the people trying to help you.

//It especially becomes a problem when you get trapped in a cycle of self-hatred, where you become so convinced that you're not worth anyone's attention that you can give people the impression that their feelings don't matter to you, which can then contribute to the cycle. When you hate yourself, it hurts others in the process, no matter what you may say or do.

//And besides, good friends and family don't ever want you to hate yourself in the first place. When you dump on yourself or try to become an emotional martyr, it doesn't make the suffering in the world go down. Mental wellness is not a zero sum game.

//I write about this stuff because these are my experiences with depression. I did these things way too much and I wound up hurting people I care about, including someone I was in a relationship with at the time. It took them telling me to, in a very loving and constructive manner, get my shit together so I could break out of this negative way of viewing myself. I had to completely change my way of thinking, and while I have bad days still, it really did help me a lot.

//You can never keep your own pain completely internal; it'll always reach out and affect other people, but you have the power to keep it under control and not let it convince you to ruin the good things you have. A big part of that is surrounding yourself with people who understand and who'll help you out whenever you need it.

//But I understand that my experiences are not universal and maybe my word choices have been poor. I sincerely apologize if I've given anyone the wrong impression about what the goal of this theme is. This was never about the idea that being down on yourself at all is bad, because sadness and guilt are an integral part of the human experience.

//The lesson is that it's important not to become so sad or so guilty that you convince yourself that you're unworthy of other people's love, because truly no good comes out of that.

//I hope you have a good day, anon. Thank you for reaching out.

[minty-the-witch]

Mental and Spiritual: Different Sides of the Same Coin

Howdy everyone! 

I’ve been MIA for a while because my life has just been absolutely crazy lately. I’ve bounced around from Airbnb and hotel with my family while our house is being repaired (from a house fire). I also changed jobs during this period. All this to say, my mental health has just been in the gutter as of late. 

I did some reflection, and I realized that part of my problem was that I was neglecting my spiritual side during all this chaos. I began by getting a new tarot deck from the local Barnes and Noble. Once I began doing readings again I immediately felt better, but I was still rusty when it came to the readings themselves. I was doing okay, not great nor terrible. 

Something I have always struggled with is balance. Balancing all aspects of my life has been a challenge. Sometimes I would go all in with my writing, and neglect other areas like my spiritual work. Other times I would hyperfocus on spiritual things and my “real life” would suffer. I still don’t know a very good solution, other than to keep trying. I started journaling, but it was hard for me to keep up with that too. I take my meds every day but sometimes it feels like that doesn’t help.

Obligatory I am not a professional, seek help if you feel you really need it. 

Spirituality has helped me so much, it’s hard for me to even explain. It makes me feel whole. Whenever I read a spiritual book, or meditate, or do tarot I find myself closer to peace. I believe that humans were never designed (or not evolved) to sit at a desk job all day or on your feet for 8+ hours at a tedious job. Whenever I’m at my fast food job, I don’t even feel like a person. My good friend has a job in her field (biotech) and even she is miserable working 9-5 every day. 

I feel like people have grown to cut out that spiritual side of themselves, for various reasons but for the purpose of this post I am going to blame late stage capitalism HAH! Our society does not put much stock into spiritual growth or health, or mental health for that matter. I think that both are absolutely vital. In my own experience, I think they go hand in hand. Two sides of the same coin. When my mental health is shit, my spiritual growth suffers. And visa versa. 

That is why I am making it a personal goal of mine to read more books and try to do one blog post a week. No idea what I will talk about, I don’t know that I have much to say - I’m definitely not an expert in the occult by any means. But I will give it a shot. 

What are some things to help rekindle the spiritual fire?

For me, my love is always tarot. I love helping people with readings as well as doing some for myself. It feels so magical to do. To feel that connection with the cards and the universe. I am not a tarot expert yet, but I feel the vibe of the cards to the best of my ability. By that extension, I would suggest doing something that helps someone else!

Another thing that helps me is a spiritual cleanse in the shower. I wash up with very strong intentions of washing away the dirty negative thoughts and energy. Then I will spend 5-10 minutes just standing or sitting under the water, meditating. I connect most with water (despite being an earth sign), this may not work for everyone. 

When I lived in a different neighborhood, there was a cute little forest park nearby. Whenever I was feeling negative I would go for a walk through the woods and just vibe out to the playlist of the day. I took in the energy of the forest around me. I grounded myself almost every time with this one specific tree that felt especially magical. (I even found little spirits there!) 

Something you can do almost anywhere is classic meditation. Although it's hard to do when you have company. My favorite meditative tool is the app Calm (I’ve also used Meditopia in the past). But there are free ones available too, like the app Moonly, and also if you have Spotify you can find good meditative tracks! It’s hard for me to clear my head, as I am an anxious person, but once I get in the groove of things it certainly helps. 

Speaking of groove, doing something you love that gets you in that flow state is always helpful for your mental and spiritual health! For me it's writing. Writing is a kind of magic itself, at least that is what my guides have always told me. The ancient Egyptians certainly believed so. 

The key with any of these things, is to have the intentions of rekindling your spiritual fire. If you just do these things without the aim of that connection, well it's just good for your mental health and there’s nothing wrong with that. Like I said before, I believe they go hand in hand. Having the proper intentions and confidence is half the battle in magic. 

[tammyfeabakker]

Its Monday again. I had a great birthday weekend. We watched... pepsi,where's my jet?On Netflix I recommend it. Then we watched love on the spectrum and down for love. I wait months to watch the new seasons. My Chloe and Emily. My Chloe went back home. As much as I'm so happy to see her. I was so sad when she left. The loneliness. The tears. I don't cry much when I do. Its jus painful. I miss her so much. I have to tend to my merlin and peaches. I jus can't pick up and go anymore. They jus can't pick up and leave they have responsibilities. It takes months before I see her again. I crave championship. I tried online dating. But I don't think I want that kind of a relationship. I jus want my kids back. Its been years. I'm still not over it. Why do I have to be the one. That will never get over the empty nest syndrome. They say you get over it or you don't. I didn't probably never will. My Chloe is my soulmate. Soulmates come in many different ways animals kids mothers dads aunts uncles friends... not only man and woman relationships. But all kinds. Chloe was my champion from the time she was born. I loved her with everything I had. We went everywhere together up until she was 24. She never slept out. She was always home. I never never never had a problem with her. What a great kid. I feel like the universe tortures me. I have no idea what I did to deserve this continued pain. Of her growing up moving on. She jus moved to far. I don't know how to spend jus a day with her. Has to be days. Its so hard to let her go. I watch the Simmons3. Bout a mother lost her 3 kids in a drunk driver accident. I want to tell that woman. Not only does she help keep drunk drivers off the street. But she helps me feel better. Its sad I know. But the empty nest syndrome. You grieve like they are gone. You grieve... you jus don't cry you grieve. The first couple years I cried everywhere everyday. I tried to tell myself I still have my kids. They are alive and well doing what I instilled in them growing up. Independent women. My cats do every thing they can. We are here for you momma. Please don't cry. They take the pieces put me back together. They know when I'm sinking. They stick to me like glue. My job is starting to suck now too. We use to be able to take the hours...if we finished up early. But now that ended. I pile up my targets looks like I'm working 10 hours. Jus for my boss to come in say can you handle that? I say yes because I'm doing in it 4. Only to take work from me. Because she doesn't think I can handle it. But I'm not really working it. That fucking easter cart been out set up for months now. Don't adjust the time on it jus act like its not out. We have to make it up somehow. Considering the wear and tear on our cars and phones. But I still like my job. Gift card resets are coming up again. The managers love me because I jus throw them out. Everyone I work with is a joy. Molly is a joy. We try to get together so if I have a job. Thats insane I call Molly. 5 hours of awesome. We talk laugh. I keep telling her she's to good for this. She incredibly smart. The girl is gifted. She's jus this little thing talks me down when I start to loose it. The gift cards are a nightmare. I start my shit. She knows how to deal with me. We are soulmates. She sees the little things I see the big picture. We both suffer depression its like therapy to us. Start my day now. Thanks for listening. I tell ya one thing bout Tumblr. Even though we don't talk. No matter how far I go no matter how long im gone. You know who you are. You never leave me. Thanks for the devotion it truly means alot to me oxoxox.

[dailyanarchistposts]

The primary thought you must have firmly in your mind, keep in your minds forefront, when questioned by police is if they, your police interrogators, possessed a solid, airtight, open and shut case against you they would not be bothering to question you at all. When you are approached refuse to be question and immediately demand an attorney be present to advise you of your constitutional rights before any questioning takes place. In an ideal world, and by well, established law, at this point all questioning is supposed to stop but that does not always happen as “clever” ploys are used by police to get you to volunteer for questioning or be forthcoming with information that rarely benefits you, a suspect but furthers the goal of their investigation. Never answer any questions, no matter how innocent they sound, after you have invoked your right to an attorney. Do not respond to any question no matter how fucking tempted or how harmless you think it to be! When read the Miranda rights you were told anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law and that is precisely what it means. Anything you might say of even a microscopic incriminating nature will be interpreted as a major admission by creative minds which can and will be used against you. You can take that fact to the bank.

Police interrogators aren’t your friends! Don’t provide them with anything to use against you, only provide your basic statistical personal information such as name, age, address, birthday and social security! [Different states have different laws about what information one is required to give, check out you local laws.] They’re your enemy if questioning you! Volunteer nothing! Either you are a suspect, friends or comrades are suspects or they are attempting to gather information to be used against you or your associates in the future. Your best interests, for you as a person, is the last thing on their minds. They’re merely performing their government job. Don’t allow yourself to become frightened or worse still to be lulled into a false sense of security. If they assault you, you can practice the popular American martial art of “I Sue!” Politely listen to their games. Remain silent no matter how long questioning lasts and don’t allow yourself to be wore down with time, a favorite tactic employed by skilled questioners. Recognize their games and realize their societal job function is to lock you up, to clear a case file that may result in the destruction of your life, making you, your family and loved ones suffer, sometimes for months and in the worse scenario for years! Remain silent. Sooner or later they will give up questioning you altogether. They will move on to a weak willed person to manipulate into prolonged imprisonment.

There are two logical outcomes to interrogations. When questioning is done you are free to leave to join family, friends or comrades within the movement, a wiser, stronger willed soldier tested by fire, or you are locked up. If locked up, and you kept your mouth shut, as soon as possible as the opportunity presents itself after you request your one allowed phone call then call a bail bonding company or your lawyer. Your attorney will be pleased he/she has a client who remained silent and did not give a statement! Because of your wise silence your attorney may be able to perform the magic taught in law universities and colleges of law. Your attorney may be able to have the case dismissed in court later due to the lack of evidence at preliminary hearing if you are charged with a crime! If you have felt the need of confession other than to a priest then forget about lack of evidence dismissals. You volunteered so endeavor to enjoy your unique incarceration experience, dummy! Should there be other evidence against you (“Opps! Forgot my gloves! Fingerprints are Hollywood bull shit, right?!”) by choosing to remain silent you have expanded your lawyer’s defense strategy choices which may win your case in court in front of a jury made up of people of average ignorance. Those of you who immediately thought of the O.J. jury, shame on you!

Give up nothing! Give up nobody! Don’t let your mouth put your ass in jail! Retain your rights! Remember you have the right not to incriminate yourself! Say nothing you or your friends will regret later in court while facing a stern faced judge and anal retentive, irate government prosecutor!

If you stayed with me to this point, the following will be some shallow, laughable mind games they may try to play on you with all the intensity of a child examining the first insect they encounter! Remember the cops talking to you, cajoling you to bear your soul, clear your conscience, “make yourself feel better” by telling them what happened because they “understand” after you do will laugh in your face, later in their locker room howl with laughter with each other about how utterly naive and gullible you are, call you an ignoramus and various other things, pat each other and themselves on the back and then pleased with their day’s work go home to screw their wife, boyfriend or girlfriend and kick their dog, or vice versa.

After the interrogation is over as a just reward for your cooperation with these hardworking public servants who serve and protect the public, you will be led away to a filthy barren cell reeking with combined odors of sweat, body waste in liquid and solid form, stale tobacco smoke and hopelessness with dubious characters as your cell mates. You may have to fight to keep a food tray, a place to sit or sleep if you aren’t immediately bailed out, you may discover yourself in a struggle to retain your shoes, shirt or jacket from predatory social prisoners. Remember how you felt your privacy was violated when a bathroom door was accidentally opened by another person on you at home, office, workplace, or elsewhere? Well, prepare yourself to forfeit all privacy expectation when Nature calls and you must answer the call in the sight, presence or within arm’s reach of other hapless people! You may be forced to learn what it means to literally and figuratively stand your ground for the first time in your life in a jail or in prison. You may be forced to defend your sexuality, defend yourself against sexual predators or some people are forced to temporarily switch their sexual preferences becoming bisexual by circumstance to survive incarceration intact. Yell for help? None is forthcoming except in cases of extreme brutality or mutually combative situations as those who swore to serve and protect usually turn a blind eye to prisoners. If you confessed to police interrogators, aided with the crime investigation efforts, in an ill-fated effort to prove yourself intellectually superior to those questioning you stuck your foot in your mouth, you have condemned yourself with your own words, then you will in all likelihood, not pay the slightest attention to the following word of caution. Once booked, fingerprinted and slammed in a cell you should not talk about your case with those around you who may express interest in why you are locked up! Each prisoner willing to listen to your tale of woe is a potential threat of showing up in court to testify against you as a jailhouse informant or a cop put in the cell with you whose sole purpose was to gain confidence and solicit a confession! You may be a target so realize this fact and shut the fuck up! A classic example of this is years ago in the early 1980’s, a State prisoner in Tennessee named Gary Hartman confided to a cell partner, Raymond Frazier, about a murder in which he was involved. Frazier got with another prisoner, Kenneth King, and they, with the aid of prison officials, contacted the attorney general’s office and law enforcement, collected a $1,000 reward and Hartman was convicted and sentenced to death. After a decade plus on death row Hartman’s death sentence was overturned on appeal and he was sentenced to life in prison. Just like during W.W. I and W.W. II, loose lips sink ships!

If you made a statement you may as well be pleased with your lousy career, life and health choices since you have volunteered for a stint, however prolonged or brief, in your chosen hell by “cooperating” with police? Not exactly a Norman Rockwell picture, is it? I refuse to “sugarcoat” this description of a potential first confinement experience horror to save your sensitivity or cater to your squeamishness. I would rather shock you to serious thought by speaking truth motivated by love for my sincere activist brothers and sisters engaged in struggle against the monsters of the earth guided by their hearts and knowledge of what is right rather than let you find out the painful hard way and begin a nightmare which will rob you of your life, of your productive years, and the progress you could have made during those forever lost years to the struggle.

[ultimatelytired]

Rose

word count: 12,698

Fandom: Stranger Things Pairing: Robin Buckley x Female!Harrington!Reader   Pronouns: She/Her Relationship: Romantic Occupation: University Student Ability: N/A

Keys:

[F/N]: Female Name [L/N]: Last Name [N/N]: Nickname [H/C]: Hair Color [E/C]: Eye Color

Warnings: n/a

this was requested by my friend @unparalleled-slothy​ and her friend @puresass​, so you can go thank them for giving me enough inspiration to write something.

this is going to be if billy and [f/n] didn’t die or get possessed by the mind flayer, so an overall happy ending for those poor unfortunate souls.

I know this is way past valentine’s day but I don’t give a shit, I was just lazy.

that is all.

Ah, valentines the day.

The day where you celebrate love, whether it may be with your significant other or rather suffering in utter loneliness because you have no significant other. A holiday where the price of stuffed toys, a bundle of flowers and chocolate have doubled in price because they can do that. This was the first year [F/N] was going to spend Valentine’s Day with her actual lover, her beautiful girlfriend Robin Buckley, that wasn’t just some on and off fling but a girl she genuinely had a relationship with. Someone she almost loved just as much as her brother— almost, but she still had a place deep within her heart. Sure, [F/N] still had university to worry about but what’s a few missed days? Besides, she’s paid a few of her friends/classmates to take notes for her so when she returns she doesn’t flunk so hard.

Steve himself was just as excited for Valentine’s Day as [F/N] was, this time he was going to spend it with Billy. This was something new for the both of them, not so much Steve, but spending the holiday with another boy, yes. Steve’s heart was filled with so much love, he was ready to shower it all onto Billy, but he knew better than to overwhelm the blonde. Learning from him, he knew that Billy was starved of affection and was slowly getting used to Steve’s lingering touches, so he knew he had to hold back. Steve and [F/N] both had a plan for their lovers, they had all day to play and get their surprise ready for them, especially since neither one of them had school to attend and Steve was taking a day off from Family Video just to prepare.

“So what do you have in store for Hargrove, Stevie?” [F/N] asks, both herself and Steve lounging about outside by the pool despite the weather, a cold beer in her hand as they stared up at the dark sky above them “He’s told me he’s excited for what you have planned out, basically pleading with me to spare some details.” she hums to herself when she saw an excited grin stretch across his cheeks.

“Do you remember how lover’s lake has the best view after dark?” she nods her head, tilting her head back to take a swig of her drink “That’s exactly where I’m going to take him where the two of us are going to enjoy a night dinner under the stars.” her face lights up, snapping her fingers in his direction.

“Oh, I see. Are you planning it so that the stars reflect against the water?” he nods his head, snapping his fingers in her direction.

“Exactly that, sister dearest.” [F/N] applauds him for his creative idea, he sniffles softly and tilts his drink in her direction to gesture for her to speak her idea then took a drink “What about you? Robin has been begging me to spill what you’re gonna do with her.” [F/N] grinned, her couldn’t help but roll his eyes when he recognised that mischievous grin.

“You’re just gonna have to wait and see, my dear little brother.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you’re planning, I bet it’s got something that could potentially get you in jail.” she laughs whilst throwing her head back.

“Please, I’ve been to jail too many times to count that it doesn’t even matter to me anymore!” he couldn’t help but stare at her, whether it be with disappointment or disbelief, it wouldn’t matter to her so he tilts his head back and takes a longer gulp of his alcoholic beverage.

And that’s where [F/N] found herself outside of Robin’s house on Valentine’s Day morning, she drove slowly down her street as to not alert the entire street that she was there, especially not Robin. Pulling up just a couple houses down to her house she eyes it closely then nods to herself, no one seemed to be awake in the Buckley Residence so now was her time. She drums her hands against the stirring wheel before leaning over to the passenger side to grab a rose from the bouquet, along with a small box of chocolates. Her plan was to deliver her a rose from the bouquet along with a treat to Robin throughout the entire day until Robin collects all the roses and completes the bouquet, then at the very end of school she would pull up and take her on a sweet date, then to finish it off they were going to watch one of Robin’s favorite movies then cuddle their way to sleep.

She nods to herself. Yes, such a splendid plan. Lacing her fingers together and cracking them, she hastily makes her way over to Robin’s window that she would always climb to secretly get into her room. What a Harrington trait, huh? Her window was a little high, but she always kept the window open no matter the weather. Well, snow days were an exception but they were their favorite cause they could get away with spending the entire day in bed snuggling. Tucking the box of chocolates into her pocket and putting the rose into her mouth, she takes a step back, then leapt up to grab onto the edge of her windowsill then proceeded to push herself up until she was able to reach into Robin’s room. With that, she spat the rose into her hand and gently placed it down on the windowsill followed by the box of chocolates. Glancing up, she smiled softly yet brightly at the sight of her sweet little birdie sleeping peacefully. She wished she could stay longer; she wished she had a bit of time to give her girlfriend and kiss on the forehead but the sound of her door handle jiggling caused [F/N] to panic and lose her balance, evidently falling backwards and onto the ground.

*THUD*

“Ah, hmm…?” Robin let out a tired groan when her door was open. Taking a peek from out of her pillow, she saw her mother standing over her with a kind smile on her face “Argh, mum…. let me sleep.” she giggles softly at Robin, watching her daughter turn her head back into her pillow to bury her face further into the plush cotton.

“Now, now, Robin. You can’t just sleep in today.” she laughs this time when Robin groaned louder “Today’s a special day.”

“Friday?”

“No, sweetheart, it’s valentine’s day. And this year, you don’t have to spend it alone.” this was enough to get Robin to push herself up, her mother was laughing cheerfully now at the state of her daughter. Her short hair was a mess and sticking out in all sorts of places with some drool dribbling out of the corner of her mouth “If you finish your school day quicker, you might get to spend some time with that girl you love so much.” Robin’s face quickly turned a shade of red.

“Mum!” she groans out “You know it isn’t like that.” this caused her to roll her eyes.

“Right, like I don’t see the way you look at her each time she comes to pick you up and drop you off.” she leans down and gently pats her head “No matter how hard you try to hide it, my sweet daughter, your father and I will love you, regardless. Just remember that, Robin.” she then presses a kiss to her forehead, proceeded to ruffle her hair with a soft chuckle, and finally left Robin to wake up and get ready for school. She tosses her head back to shake the loose strands out of her face and in the corner of her eyes she notices the deep shade of red sitting on her desk. Standing to her feet, she gasped softly at the sight of a rose next to a box of chocolates, she giggles lovingly at the sight and picks them up, only then to notice a small note attached to the chocolates.

’good morning birdie,

I hope you had a good sleep, thought you might like a little gift to start your morning. There is plenty to come throughout the day, so forgive me that I do not come to take you to school for I have much to prepare for the evening. But I want you to know that it will be worth the wait, so enjoy your day and wait, you shall be greatly rewarded for your patience.

from yours truly, [f/n] harrington~❤️’

Robin could feel her cheeks already starting to hurt from hood big of a smile she wore on her face, she quickly peeks out of the window to try to at least catch her while she was leaving but frowned softly when she couldn’t see her mustang nor did she hear it when it left. Well, this was enough to know that [F/N] didn’t forget, so she nods her head and gets ready for the day, very excited to learn what her girlfriend had in store for them. Little did she know, [F/N] was beneath her outside the whole time. She laid completely still when she saw Robin stick her head out in search for her, then relaxed when she disappeared.

“How long are you going to be lying there, Harrington?” not even looking up to the owner of the voice, she raised her hand in greeting.

“Good morning to you too, Mr Buckley.” he nods to himself when he looked up from where she potentially fell from then back down at her. He kneels down and gently knocks on her forehead.

“Don’t do anything too frivolous, young lady. She’s still in high school while you’re a university student.” [F/N] nods her head and salutes him.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sir.” he hums at her, nodding his head.

“Glad you understand.” she was a little startled when he grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, pulling her up slightly but enough so that they were face to face “But if I hear that you did something to her, to my daughter, you’ll have to answer to me. I don’t give a damn if you’re a woman or not, I’m still that girl’s father and I’m going to treat anyone she brings home the same way until they understand that my daughter is not to be messed with, got it?” [F/N] rapidly nods her head.

“Yes sir, I understands sir.”

“I’m happy we could have this conversation. Now run along. I don’t want her getting the wrong idea.” she nods her head and hurries off the moment he let her go, he stood outside the driveway sand watched her flee to her car, hand on his hip with a cup of coffee in his other hand “… that girl’s dead the moment she breaks my girls heart.” [F/N] now found herself trying to hide her car as she pulled up to Hawkins High School and how she was able to pull it off, she didn’t know, she was just that skilled. Sneaking into Hawkins High wasn’t too hard, trying not to get recognised as one of the most notorious student from a few of her old teachers was almost a little tricky, but blending in with a few students made it easier for her to slither past them. The hallways of Hawkins High were littered with hearts, banners saying “happy valentines day” and other shit like that, barf, this school was always quite the try hard when celebrating all sorts of holidays. Her next mission was to find Robin’s locker, and with the help of Billy and even Wheeler senior, she somewhat knows where it is.

“They said it should be around… here!” [F/N] made sure that no one was looking when she proceeded to break into her locker, cracking open a lock wasn’t hard for her, she’s opened up a bunch of lockers when she was still attending this shithole for a school. She grinned when the lock sprung open so with a smug grin and whistle she opened the locker and was greeted with the sight of Robin’s stuff, she did double check to see it was hers and pulled out of her duffel bag the next rose, a box of treats with a note and a trinket from Robin’s favorite book series. Hmm, she wonders what sort of face Robin will make when she sees thi—

“[F/N]?” she lets out a shriek at the sound of her name, slamming the locker door shut and whipping her head over in the direction of the voice, though, she was greatly surprised to see who it was “What are you doing here?”

“Eddie? What are you STILL doing here?” Eddie Munson, [F/N]’s longtime best friend since her last year of middle school and throughout high school up till her last year where she graduated and left Hawkins to study out of state. She was greatly surprised to see Eddie, who was her age, at Hawkins himself. Shouldn’t he be out and about making a name for himself outside of Hawkins, away from this shitty town that thought he was nothing more than a freak? She stared at him closer before making a face of disappointment, Eddie’s face scrunched up when he recognised it “You dumb bitch, were you held back again?” Eddie pulls a face before raising a hand.

“Don’t avoid the question.” she scoffs at him, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms “I don’t see a reason for you to be here, on Valentine’s Day of all days. I thought you’d be out and about getting into any girl’s pants to satisfy your loneliness.”

“Ah hahaha, very funny. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make jokes on my loneliness. Thank you very much.” she sighed when he made a gesture for her to continue, for her to explain what the hell she was doing there when she had absolutely no business being there in the first place, she sighed as she scratched her cheek “Well… I’m visiting someone.” he raised a brow.

“Visiting someone? Who?” before she could answer, Eddie let out a yelp when she grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him away and out of sight while also kicking her bag away. She held him close as she pressed herself into the wall behind her while he pressed his hands on either side of her head, their legs in between each other while they were face to face. Eddie was going to ask for her drastic reaction but paused when he saw her lean forward to peek past the lockers that were hiding them from the owner of the locker she broke in to. He leaned back and his eyes widened softly at who he saw. Robin Buckley? That band weirdo? No, it couldn’t be. He goes to make a joke when he turned back to look at [F/N] but paused when he saw that genuine look of love on her face that was only ever reserved for Steve and sometimes him and his group of friends, but this look? This look was new, she sighed lovingly as she draped her arms over his shoulders and rested her head on the side of his as she stared at Robin with a lovesick gaze. Her face brightened when she saw the rose she gave Robin that morning tucked into the breast pocket of her jacket, heh, the jacket she stole the year prior.

Robin was in a good mood that morning, seeing [F/N] definitely would have made it better, but she would have to settle for the surprise she had for her that afternoon. Steve was the one to pick her up that morning, but she sat in the backseat, leaving the front seat reserved for his boyfriend Billy. She drowned out their chatter for their afternoon date out and focussed solely on getting through the day as quickly as she could so she could see [F/N], oh, how she was graving to see her girlfriend right then and there. Pulling up to the school, she quickly gave her goodbye to Steve and Billy and rushed into the school, gagging out the few students who didn’t have enough decency to tongue fuck each other behind closed doors. She practically had to shove some random girl talking to her boyfriend because they were in front of her locker, she scoffed as she puts in the code to her lock then opens her locker, face brightening up to find another rose, chocolate and a gift inside.

’hi songbird,

Did you see the gift I left you? It’s a little trinket from one of your favorite book series you love talking about. I saw it in a shop and managed to buy it. It was the last in stock so I was quite lucky to snag it. Have a good day at school, Robin. Don’t slack off just because we’re doing something this afternoon. Love you~

From yours truly, your girlfriend~❤️’

Aw~ look at the face she was making. Her face was turning redder by the second! Ah hah, she’s hugging the note! Look, she’s grabbing the little trinket and putting it in her pocket. She likes it. She fully melts into the embrace she pulled Eddie into, her arms now wrapping around him as her head slouched into the crook of his neck, sighing dreamily as she watched Robin pick up the rose and add it to the first one inside her pocket. The moment Robin was out of sight [F/N] finally managed to collect herself and acknowledge Eddie, only to freeze up when he was staring at her with a suggestive expression.

“So… Buckley~” she scoffed at him, he laughed when he saw her face turn pink from embarrassment “I didn’t know you were into band nerds.” he burst out into laughter when she peeled herself off of him and pushed him away.

“Coming from a band nerd himself, loser.” they stare at each other this time before grinning at each other and grabbing each other by the hand, a loud clap echoing through the hallway the moment they grasped each other’s hands “So, you finally found the one that captured your heart. Do you love her just as much as you love your brother?” [F/N] pulls a face, tilting her head side to side before shrugging.

“She’s a close second place.” he scoffs.

“Dude, no.” she laughs with a shrug.

“She understood what she was getting herself into the moment she accepted to be my girlfriend, but I do tend to treat her with extra love.” with that she winked and blew him a kiss, he jokingly caught it then threw it in a nearby trashcan, she let out a gasp at his audacity “Anyways, think you know what class she has first? I wanna leave another rose.” Eddie lets out a breath as he looks down at his wrist to check the time.

“I don’t think you have enough time to do that, the bells about to—” the bell rung before he could finish, she let out a sigh at that “Welp, you better leave before you get in trouble. I, myself, have math class to attend.” [F/N] throws her head back with a laugh.

“Damn, math was never your strongest suit. Be well, soldier!” she salutes him and planned to leave but was stopped when a teacher appeared, it would’ve been bad if the teacher recognised her, it was awful because this teacher didn’t recognize her and thought she was a student.

“Oh, trying to ditch school, are you? With Mister Munson, no less.” [F/N] paused in her tracks, glancing back at Eddie then back at the teacher while pointing at herself, the teacher let out a sigh “Yes, you. Goodness, students these days. You think you can just avoid class to fool around because it’s Valentine’s Day, don’t you? Well, I’ve got news for you kiddos, you gotta suck it up and wait for the end of school so get to it!” [F/N] was then grabbed roughly by her arm, along with Eddie, and the two of them were dragged to math class. Eddie was giggling softly to himself as he and [F/N] sat at the back of the classroom, she herself had an incredulous look on her face that screamed she wanted to die. She glanced at him and gave him a glare, telling him to shut the fuck up, but he knew well and just ignored the way she was staring daggers into his eyes. A few other students attending that class were staring at the two in confusion, especially at [F/N] because they didn’t recognize who the fuck she was, the few juniors that were around when she reigned supreme in Hawkins as the fallen queen, were extra confused as to why she was there.

“Now students, I’d like for you to take out your textbooks and flip to the page that we were working on last week.” [F/N] scratched her eyebrow as she watched the lot of students do as they were told, she wanted to slap Eddie when she could feel him smirking at her as he pulled out his textbook that he would usually leave dormant in the bottom of his bag.

“Why am I here? I’m a goddamn university student, for crying out loud.” she let out a groan when her plans to leave gifts for Robin were stopped by this stupid teacher, dumb bitch. Whilst writing down a few problems on the blackboard, the teacher turned to observe the class but huffed when she saw that student she saw outside in the hallway, not paying attention. What irked her even more was that she had nothing on her desk and she looked quite bored, for heaven’s sake, even Eddie Munson has his book out and was at least writing something down “Is there a problem, young lady?” [F/N] glanced up when she spoke, looking around in confusion once more before pointing at herself.

“Me?” [F/N] asked, this caused the teacher to sigh.

“Yes, you. You have nothing out while the rest of the class is taking down notes. Is this class boring to you?” the young student had the audacity to yawn, she sniffled to herself as she proceeded to get comfortable.

“Boring? Oh no, it’s just calculus is quite easy.” she spares Eddie a glance “And I’m not sure why you’re attending this class when it’s quite difficult for the way your brain thinks.” Eddie shrugs.

“Have to pass it if I want to graduate.” he winces when she slapped his knee.

“Then fucking pay attention instead of sketching your D&D characters, numb nuts.” the two of them then proceeded to slap each other. The teacher has enough and slams her book shut.

“Well then, young lady. If this class is SO easy for you, you wouldn’t mind answering the few questions on the board, now would you?” [F/N] briefly looks away from Eddie to see the question. True or False, the graph of f(x) and that of f(x + 2) are the same, she rolled her eyes.

“False. The graph of f(x + 2) is that of f(x) shifted 2 units to the left.” the teacher was a little taken aback at the quick response, she quickly looks through the answers and exhales sharply when she was indeed, correct.

“Alright, what about the second one?” another true or false, the equation x = | y | , with x >= 0, represents y as a function of x.

“False again. Solve for y to find that y = | x | or y = -| x |; for one value of the independent variable x we have two values of the dependent variable y.” [F/N] chuckled with a smirk, now ignoring Eddie in favor of the teacher, leaning back in her seat and resting her face a top of her knuckles, her legs crossed over each other with her free hand tapping against the desk “Is that all you’ve got, ma’am?”

“Alright, fine.” pulling out a book of parametric equations, the teacher was quick to jot down the first question she saw. Eddie spared his friend a glance and saw she was eyeing down the question as the teacher went, in the parametric equation, x = 8 cos At, y = 8 sin At, 0 ⩽ t ⩽ 2π,​ how does A affect the circle as A changes? The teacher turns to face [F/N] the moment she finished, she didn’t spare her a look as she continued to look at the question, continuously muttering under her breath as she drew little equations in the air “Do you have an answer?” she didn’t like the smirk she wore on her face.

“I do.” lacing her fingers together she pushed them out and heard them crack under the soft pressure, she then rolled her fingers then opened her hand out “Eliminating t, x² + y² = cos², At + sin² At = 1, which is still a circle with radius 11 and center at the origin.” the teacher quickly looks through the book for the answer, in disbelief that she was able to solve that question without even needing to write it down, she was taken aback when she was correct.

“And your working out?”

“If we have A = 1/2 A = 2/1​, (x,y) = (cos⁡1/2 t, sin⁡1/2t), i.e. as t ranges from 0 to 2π, 2π, the equation starts at (1,0) (1,0) and stops at (−1,0) (−1,0). This means that it goes halfway through the circle. So A governs the rate at which the equation traces out a circle. Similarly, if A = 2, A = 2, the equation moves twice around the circle.” she winks upon finishing, holding her hand out towards Eddie, who promptly slapped his hand down for a loud high five. She wasn’t valedictorian for nothing, always at the top of her classes without properly needing to pay attention to anything, she really only graduated out of spite “Like I said, ma’am, calculus is quite easy.” [F/N] smirks when the teacher turned red, rather it be from anger or embarrassment, both outcomes were hilarious as she stormed out of the room. 

“Dang, you really made her angry.” Eddie murmured, she just shrugged as she dug her hand into her pocket, pulling out a flask.

“It’s her own fault for picking on me.” she unscrews the cap and takes a long swig, letting out a shudder as the sting of alcohol went down her throat, whining softly when he took the flask from her and chugged some alcohol down as well.

“You still haven’t lost your touch, have you?” she shakes her head.

“Nope.” [F/N] takes her flask back from Eddie to take another swig but paused when she saw a teacher she did recognise and they definitely recognised her, Eddie notices her gaze when she abruptly stands to her feet “I’ve got to go.” she grabs her duffle back and makes a break for it, she throws her bag through an open window before proceeding to throw herself out, letting out an oof when she landed on the ground with a thud. Everyone in the classroom watched as she sprung up, snickering amongst each other when they saw a bunch of leaves and twigs in her hair.

“You good, Harrington?” [F/N] blinked at him, then gave him a thumbs up.

“Spectacular.” she ducks down when the teacher she knew made an appearance, she briefly peeked through the window to mouth out “drama room” to him, he understood and gave her a thumbs up. She grinned softly and ducked away once more, scurrying out of view, then ran full speed to where the drama room was. She runs past a classroom but came to a stop when she saw someone, she briefly walks backwards, then ducks out of sight when she managed to find Robin’s class. A big grin appeared on her face when she saw her, peeking out from the bottom edge of the window to look at Robin. She hummed softly, giggling when she saw the look of absolute boredom on her face. She spares at glance at her duffle bag and smirks softly. Robin was at the verge of yawning during her time in history. The teacher was going on about something that was going through one ear and straight out the other. She was fiddling with the small trinket [F/N] got for her when she felt something hit her on the side of the head, she turned in the direction it came from but the sight of a deep shade of red caught her attention. She raised a brow in confusion when she saw that it was a rose, but where on earth did it come from? Sure Robin had no clue where it came from but [F/N] couldn’t help but smile blissfully, she nod to herself and ducked down once more than scrambled away to the drama room.

And that brings us to…

“Eddie said he wanted to discuss an upcoming campaign, said it was important.” Jeff murmurs softly as he, Gareth and Nathan walked to the drama room with the lingering first years following closely behind them. Glancing back at them over his shoulder, he couldn’t help but think back to the time where he and the other three used to follow behind Eddie and [F/N] during their first year, the two of them were full of so much confidence it was almost envious, though Eddie was the bark and [F/N] was the bite, a very dangerous duo “Don’t understand why he couldn’t talk about it during lunch in the cafeteria.” Gareth sighed.

“And where is he now?” Nathan crossed his arms with a scoffed.

“He got held back in English, he flunked on an assessment Mrs. O’Donnell assigned and she wanted to talk to him.” this caused all three of them to shake their head “At this rate he isn’t graduating, again.” Gareth raised his hand.

“Emphasis on the again.” now they’re all laughing, he then looked back at the first years again and waved his hand to get their attention “You guys are smart, right? Think you can give Eddie some pointers so he can pass SOME of his tests.” Dustin hums, looking up in thought.

“That’s a little tough. We’re all smart in different subjects, Gareth.” Lucas raises a finger.

“And Eddie has a different way of thinking, we all do.” Mike nods his head.

“And to adapt a way to teach Eddie where he can understand what we’re trying to explain to him is a challenge in itself.” he purses his lips “No offences to Eddie.” they all shake their head.

“None taken.” Nathan sighs as they approach the drama room.

“There really was only one person that was able to think down to Eddie’s level, even more so, get Eddie to study.” they think back to the time where on multiple occasions [F/N] was able to explain whatever she was doing and/or studying and explain it in such a detailed way that Eddie was able to follow what she was saying. Her proudest moment was when she managed to tutor him in physics and he got his very first C-, it wasn’t much, but he was better than a lousy F “Where have the days gone.” Nathan adds, a comical tear shedding from his eye.

“Really?” Mike questions, astonished that someone made Eddie STUDY “Who was it?”

“Not anyone you would know, but she’s a graduate and Eddie’s best friend.” Gareth pushes the door to the drama room open as he finishes his sentence, looking up from where he was he was shocked to see who was sitting in Eddie’s prized throne. Upon hearing the door open, [F/N], who was sitting on Eddie’s throne with her legs propped on the table whilst she read a D&D guidebook, looked up to see who it was and was immediately met with shocked looks. The shock quickly morphs into excitement and happiness as the boys cheer upon seeing her, the three first years stare in confusion at what was unfolding. What on earth was Steve’s older sister doing here at school, and why were their three seniors cheering at the sight of her? [F/N] quickly shuts the book and tosses it onto the table, standing onto her feet and throwing her arms into the air.

“Boys!” she cheers happily, she laughs when they copy her.

“[F/N]!” she rushes over to them and doesn’t hesitate to launch herself into Nathan’s arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and laughed aloud when he started spinning her around. When he put her down she cuddled into him as he squeezed her tight, she then moved on to Jeff and gave him the same bone-crushing hug then left Gareth for last. Since he was shorter compared to Jeff and Nathan, she wrapped her arms around his head while his were around her waist, she laughed as she pulled him close “Gare-bear!” she cooed softly, the two boys behind her laughed at the nickname that she and Eddie used exclusively for Gareth.

“Gare-bear?” Dustin whispered to Lucas, who shrugged his shoulders and continued to watch the exchange. Gareth lets out a grunt when she let go of him and instead held him in a headlock, digging her knuckles into his head.

“Dude, [F/N]! Stop that!” Gareth manages to push her off after a couple seconds of torture, she chuckles softly to herself and holds her hand up in front of her “My head hurts, thanks!” she winks at him.

“No problem, Gare-bear.” she hums softly when Nathan places a hand on her shoulder.

“What are you doing here [F/N]? You’re not exactly a high school student anymore.” she gasped, giving them a wounded look as she placed a hand on her chest.

“Am I not allowed to come visit my bestest friends in the whole wide world?” she deadpans when they stare blankly at her, she clicks her tongue and looks away while placing a hand on her hip “Alright, fine. I broke into the school to do some shit, you happy?” Jeff shakes his head.

“Of all the things you could do, especially on valentine’s day, you broke into the school. And here I thought you’d take this opportunity to ask out any unfortunate soul just so you can have your fun with them.” she scoffs at him, now glaring at him and pointing a finger in his face.

“Well unlike you three, y’all are hoeless! From my years of being your friend, I don’t ever remember seeing a girl in your arms!” now it was their turn to look offended, crossing her arms and looking away as they tried giving her every excuse in the book, her brow perked up when she saw Dustin raise his hand to get her attention “Yeah? What’s up little dude?” she questions, raising her own hand to keep Gareth out of her face.

“[F/N]? What are you doing here? And how do you know those three?” she laughs, throwing her head back.

“You seriously don’t know? Wow.” she doesn’t get to answer before Jeff appears from over her shoulder.

“She’s our best friend from back when she attended Hawkins.”

“That’s right! She’s an honorary member of Hellfire and Corroded Coffin.” she nods her head, grin so wide her cheeks started to hurt as she flexed her arm.

“That’s right, I’m one of the original members of Hellfire before I left!” she then let out a sigh, leaning back into Jeff’s chest “Oh, how I miss the good old days.” the four of them then start to talk about anything that came to mind, leaving Dustin, Lucas and Mike to look at each other in disbelief. [F/N], Steve’s older sister, was friends with the members of Hellfire? Does that mean she’s friends with Eddie? If they remembered correctly, [F/N] was at least a year older than Steve, that would make her and Eddie the same age.

“I understand you guys, but what is Eddie still doing in school? How could he flunk school for two years?” Gareth sighs.

“Without you to keep him from getting off track, that moron was pushing his assessments and exams to the side. He focused more on campaigns and his music, you were really the only person that could get Eddie to listen.” she lets out a long groan at the information.

“That damn idiot, I’m not his babysitter. I swear, he’s a dead man.” they all perk up at the sound of the door, [F/N] is cheering again when she saw Eddie enter the room “Eddie!”

“[F/N]!” the two are quick to approach each other, continuously slapping their hands together before grasping their hands together in a tight grip, they both then lean backwards before slamming their foreheads together. They let out dazed snickers, holding their heads after the harsh blow to the head.

“You two are so dumb.” Nathan comments, this caused them to giggle to themselves “Is this what you wanted to talk about, Eddie?” he nod his head, both himself and [F/N] holding each other by the shoulder.

“Yeah, I saw her this morning breaking into a locker and thought I’d keep her a secret for you guys. Did you like the surprise?” the three smile, yeah, they totally liked it.

“But that still doesn’t explain why you’re here in the first place, [F/N].” now [F/N]’s face drops when she felt Eddie smirk at her, before she could do anything to silence him, Eddie covers her mouth with his hand and keeps her locked under his arm as he leaned in close to the three so the three juniors couldn’t hear the private information.

“[F/N]’s got a girlfriend, so she broke into the school to leave her gifts.” Gareth, Jeff and Nathan’s face lit up, both in surprise and joy that [F/N] genuinely found somebody to love. [F/N] was bright pink when she ripped herself out of Eddie’s grip as she stared at them, she was now covering her face when they quickly surrounded her and spoke in hushed tones about who it could be.

“You’ve got a girlfriend? Wow, congratulations, [F/N]!”

“Who is it? Someone we know?”

“When did you meet her?” yeah, the boys knew that she was a lesbian, of course they did. They were the first to know when she realised that she didn’t really feel that sort of attraction towards the male population, she cried in joy when they fully supported her, but it did annoy her when they came to her about advice when it came to picking up ladies because she was still ridiculously good at it. They laugh softly when they saw her look away, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.

“I met her last year, at the starcourt mall when I came down to see Stevie.” this caused the four of them to look at each other.

“You were here last year? How come you didn’t come see us first?” she and the three children behind her froze up, but she managed to keep her composure as her mind wandered back to ‘84. They look at her in confusion when she just closed her eyes and smiled at them, not knowing the horrors she faced and how she practically died. She let out a shuddered breath but continued to smile at them, her hand subconsciously lifting up from her side to press against her chest, feeling the rough scar beneath the layers of her clothes.

“Oh, I was just really busy I didn’t have the time to pop in.” she knew they wouldn’t buy the lie but if she wasn’t telling them on purpose, they knew better than to pry, so they left it at that. She lets out a grunt when Jeff wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close and giving her a grin.

“Well, we’re happy that we get to see you now. We’ve got to hang out again, just like old times.” they look at her in anticipation, she sighs at the puppy dog eyes staring at her.

“Alright, alright! I’ll make sure i’ve got time so we can hang out.” she laughs when they were all pulled into a group huddle, Eddie and Gareth shouting loudly.

“Woohoo!”

Team Hellfire were now in on the plan.

Gareth, Jeff and Nathan were just as surprised as Eddie to learn that she had fallen head over heels for Robin Buckley. They thought she would have gone for someone like Chrissy Cunningham, and though she was a catch herself, Robin was more of her type. She punched Gareth in the face when he started to tease [F/N] for liking someone like Robin, this caused the other three to hold their tongues if they wanted to keep them. Anyways- they acted like a barrier to hide her from others that could potentially recognise her, she was almost caught when she wasn’t paying attention and Robin appeared from around the corner, the four boys quickly got in front of her and she hid behind Nathan. Robin looked at them, a bead of sweat forming on her cheek when she saw they were acting weird; weirder than usual. She just shook her head and quickly walked by them, tucking her hands into her pockets, she flinched when she felt something. A big smile worked its way onto her face when she saw it was another gift and note, opening the small box, she gasped softly when she saw that it was chain ring. 

’hi robbie,

What do you think of this gift? I saw that you already had one, but what’s more to add to your collection? Besides, you’ll look good in just about anything I give, even more so, I think you’ll look good with not—

Robin quickly closed the note and pressed it to her chest, her face turning different shades of red. She looks around to see if anyone could have potentially have read the provocative note and let out a sigh of relief when no one was particularly close to see the contents, she takes another peek but decides to read it when she’s out of sight. Gareth raised a brow at the reaction Robin gave upon reading the note and looked back at his older friend, sighing softly when he saw that she was hanging off of Nathan’s back, a dopey little grin on her face as she stared dreamily at Robin’s retreating figure. Yup, they can definitely conclude that she had fallen deeply in love with Robin, she didn’t look at anyone like that for just about anybody, this girl was special.

Robin now found herself in band practice, her last hour before school was over and she got to spend her valentine’s day afternoon with [F/N]. Time and time again she got gift after gift, sometimes it was small things like a shiny rock, maybe even a pretty feather, then it ranged to things like rings and necklaces. So far her favourite was a spiked leather jacket, how she managed to sneak that onto her desk without her noticing, she’ll never know. Standing beside her was Vicki, the last person she had a crush on, after Tammy Thompson, and the ginger haired girl was rambling about her boyfriend and how he has plans for a date. She was listening but her words went through one ear and out the other, cause she just couldn’t contain her excitement about finally being in the arms of her gorgeous girlfriend.

“Hey, Robin.” she hummed, not really giving her attention to Vicki “Do you have a valentines?”

“Huh?” she giggled softly.

“I saw the roses and gifts you’ve gotten this entire day. You’ve either got a secret admirer, or you’ve got a boyfriend.” Robin couldn’t help but gag at the thought of being with a boy, people already thought that she was dating Steve while [F/N] was dating Billy. It was for the better that people thought that way, but she really wanted to flaunt about and declaring that [F/N] Harrington was her girlfriend.

“Boyfriend? Yuck. I’ll take the secret admirer, hoping they don’t reveal themselves so they can continue to give me chocolates.” Vicki laughs when she saw Robin pull out one of the many box of chocolates she got, taking out one and throwing it into her mouth “Better than being in such a troublesome relationship.”

“Well, you wouldn’t know how being in a relationship feels until you’ve got one. It feels so nice, when you’ve found the right one, that is.” Robin had to agree with Vicki on that one, it felt very nice to be in a relationship with [F/N]. Even though [F/N] made it clear that Steve was still her number one priority, she still made sure that Robin didn’t feel left out or that she didn’t feel loved. She always made sure that she was going to be with Robin through thick and thin, that they were going to be together until death has them. Robin was called away so she and the other brass players can discuss what parts they’re playing for Hawkins high basketball team, not knowing someone sneaking in through a window that was miraculously left open. By the time Robin returned back to her abandoned instrument she was surprised to see an assortment of flowers inside her trumpet, she looked at Vicki and saw her shrug.

“You didn’t see who put those there?” she shook her head, but there was a knowing look in her eyes.

“Not at all.” Vicki laughed when Robin playfully shoved her, Robin took the flowers out of her trumpet and inhaled the aroma the roses were giving, smiling softly down them “This secret admirer of yours seems to like you a lot.” Robin’s face turned a soft shade of pink, nodding her head blissfully. The tuba player blows softly into their mouthpiece as their eyes drift to the side, raising a brow at the sight of [F/N] hiding behind the large instrument as she watched Robin.

“Thanks again.” she murmured softly, they rolled their eyes as they raised their hand, a smirk grew on their face when she slapped down a fifty dollar bill “We never speak a word of this.”

“Never speak a word of what?” she clicks her tongue and snaps her finger at them, nodding her head.

“Exactly.” how Robin didn’t witness her shuffle out of the room, they’ll never know.

[time skip: end of the school day]

“Whoa! Is that a mustang?!”

“Who’s got money for a car like that?”

“Didn’t Hargrove own a camaro?”

“Yeah, that was until it got totalled.”

Eddie scoffed as he and his lot exited the school and saw the students huddled around [F/N]’s prized mustang, even when she was no longer a student she was still the centre of attention. He furrowed his brows when he saw that there was a bit of a dent on her front bumper and her lights were replaced, what the hell did she do to that caused her to damage her precious car? The other three behind him seemed to have noticed the difference but their thoughts came to a pause when the already loud chatter got louder, they looked up and scoffed when they saw that it was just [F/N] exiting her car. There was no denying it, the Harrington charm was very effective, because both the girls and boys couldn’t help but gush at the sight of [F/N] Harrington. Even though she fell from her grace long ago, they were no denying that she wasn’t the girl people would kill to be.

[F/N] scoffed at the people that started to surrounding, opting to put her sunglasses on and sit on the hood of her car as she waited for Robin. She had this excuse in her head that she was going to pick Robin up and bring her to Steve, confirming the rumour that she in fact was going out with her brother and that she won the approval of his overprotective older sister. Yes, that sounded like a full proof place indeed, now all she had to do was wait for her sweet little birdie and hopefully not lose her temper with the approaching high school boys horny on valentine’s day and wishing to get in her pants. She had a blank expression on her face when some jock slid in beside her, she didn’t pay him any mind and continued to wait patiently…. as patiently as her mind would allow it.

“So, what’s a pretty thing—”

“No.” he sputtered back at her abrupt answer.

“Well, I was thinking that—”

“No.” he felt irritated that she kept interrupting him, Eddie and his lot paled when they saw that jock continue to push [F/N]’s limits but their jaws dropped when he suddenly grabbed her wrist and pull her so that she would look at him.

“Listen, I’m trying to be nice here.” a few people whisper amongst themselves at the ordeal, watching closely as he leaned in closely to her face “How’s about you ditch your lousy date for me? I promise I can treat you… nicely?” he let out a surprised yelp when she grabbed him by his jaw with her free hand and slammed him down onto the hood, this time she leaned down towards his face but pulled down her sunglasses so he could get a good look at the disgust and anger in her eyes.

“What the fuck does no sound like to you? I am not here for a child like you who doesn’t understand basic english, maybe that’s why you’re still in school.” he let out a grunt, grabbing her by the wrist when he felt her tighten her grip on his jaw that was more than likely going to cause a bruise to form, a bead of sweat formed on his cheek when her glare hardened on him “Learn to treat a woman like a human before deciding to treat her like she’s a trophy to be won.” he shouts out in surprise when she lifted him up before proceeding to throw him onto the ground, the people watching all let out a roar of laughter at his shameless display “Don’t waste my time and get out of my sight.” she scoffed when he scurried off, probably off to the other jocks that put him up his poor attempt of getting laid. She shook her head and returned to her spot, flicking down her sunglasses until they perched themselves back onto the bridge of her nose and now waited in peace… despite the unneeded audience.

“What’s going on?” Eddie let out a startled yelp when he was shoved aside, looking to see who it was, he scoffed when he saw that it was merely Hargrove. Ever since 84′, that blonde has been causing nothing but trouble ever since he got here. Not only did he kick Harrington Jr. off his high horse and dethroned him, he apparently beat the guy black and blue at the Byers household. Why [F/N] hasn’t murdered that blue eyed bell yet, he’ll never kn— “[F/N]?” Eddie sputtered, Billy knows [F/N]? If he did, does that mean he survived an encountered with [F/N]?! She seemed to have sensed his presence because her head perked up and her face subconsciously brightened up at the sight of the blonde, going so far as to raising her hand to greet him.

“Billy!” she exclaimed, but then she realised her mistake. The rumour that she and Billy were a couple was still floating around and the fact that she was waiting at Hawkins High for someone, and now that she greeted him, can only confirm the rumour that these fuckers made up. Billy to realised what she had done because now everyone was looking between the two, a few of the female students were looking at [F/N] enviously that she managed to bag Billy Hargrove while the boys whispered their admirations and congratulations to Billy for hitching a date with the most gorgeous person within Hawkins.

“[F/N]…” he said again, muttering it this time. The two of them look at each other and they seemed to have been having a silent conversation between the two of them.

”Forgive me. I did it out of pure habit.”

“Yeah, and now people think you’re here for me.” she shrugged her shoulders, now looking away from him. Billy let out a grunt when he was grabbed by the shoulder and turned around, he raised a brow when he saw that it was Eddie Munson. If he remembered correctly, [F/N] mentioned in a passing conversation that Eddie was her greatest friend and she valued him very much, so he found it interesting that he was now face to face with the brunette.

“Hargrove, you know [F/N]?” Jeff looked him up and down.

“I for sure would have thought she would have beaten him up after what happened with her brother.” Billy flinched softly at the mention of that, thinking back to both events. 

“No, no, she did. We’re just on good terms now, she considers me one of her good friends now.” he raised a brow when a smug aura radiated out of the four of them, a bead of sweat forming on his cheek as they smirked at him.

“Oh, yeah? Well, we’re her best friends!” Billy rolled his eyes.

“Right.” [F/N] slaps a hand onto her forehead as she watched them interact, she drags it down her face and glanced anywhere that wasn’t Hellfire doing their usual tomfoolery and involving poor Billy.

“Hey, weren’t [F/N] and Munson a thing back when she attended?” her face paled at those words, looking over towards the person who said and she recognised it as a junior that attended while she was still around. That’s right, people thought that [F/N] turned baddie because she got together with Eddie, what made it worse was that both of them were always hanging off the other and Eddie was a naturally affectionate person and since she was deprived of any and all physical affection, she couldn’t help but lean into it every once in awhile.

‘No, please god no.’ she thought in her head.

“You don’t think…”

’Please, you stupid high school students!’

”Oh, my, god! Munson is picking a fight with Hargrove!”

“He must still have feelings for [F/N] after the two of them broke up when she went out of states! Ooo, what a juicy thing to see on valentine’s day.” she deadpans when everyone who heard started whispering their own conspiracies, Billy and Eddie were amused at the accusations.

“Really? You with [F/N]? Now that sounds like a fantasy.” Eddie scoffs, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

“Says you. You oughta be dead for what you did to her brother.” Billy nods to himself, the two of them then stare at each other “… you wanna mess with her?” Billy couldn’t help but grin mischievously.

“With pleasure.” [F/N] was ready to call it quits and just go and find Robin herself but paused when Eddie and Billy came over and approached her, she stared at them in confusion when they took either side of her but neither broke eye contact with each other. 

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, Munson, but [F/N] is my girlfriend.” she deadpans once more, what? Eddie laughed, taking [F/N] by her wrist and pulling her towards him.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Hargrove, I’ve known her much longer than you have, and we hadn’t officially broken up, so she’s technically still my girlfriend.” Billy shook his head as he grabbed her other wrist and pulled her towards him.

“Well, I wonder why she came to me when she came back to Hawkins instead of you, huh?” Eddie know couldn’t help but get a little irritated at that, because he too wondered why his friend didn’t come to see him when she was in town.

“You know, I tend to wonder as well.” the two of them then began to bicker about who was better, feeding into the lies that [F/N] was in fact dating one or the either and people were placing their bets on who it was. Did the former queen share her throne with her jester or perhaps with the new king who dethroned her brother? Billy and Eddie were abruptly interrupted when she ripped herself free from their hold then grabbed them both by their faces and pulled them down towards her face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you two? Is it fun that you’re taking great pleasure in my misfortune?” the two glance at each other then grin cheekily at her, she sighs at the silent response and squeezed harder on their faces. Her face then immediately brightens up when she saw the person she was waiting for, both boys let out a grunt when she threw them backwards and opened her arms “Robin~ there’s my favourite person.” she coos, Robin giggles to herself and reaches her hands out towards her girlfriend, to which she lowered her arms and took Robin’s hands into her own.

“You seriously waited for me?” she nods.

“Yeah, Steve asked me to come get you.” Robin’s shoulders slumped slightly, realisation dawning on her that she and [F/N] couldn’t even be open about their relationship, that [F/N] was hers “Lets get going, i don’t want to be here any longer than I need to.” she let out a grunt when she felt Eddie wrap an arm around her shoulder.

“Hows about you give me a lift as well? I missed being in your mustang?” she scoffed at him, smacking his arm off her shoulder.

“What happened to your van?” he waves his hand.

“It’s in the shop? Had to get a few things replaced.” she raised a brow.

“And you can afford that?” he places a hand on his chest.

“You wound me.” she was simply going to abandon him and only take Billy and Robin, which was the plan from the start, but a shout caught her attention. Turning to the source, her eyes widened at the sight of the same teacher that dragged her into her math lesson and she looked downright pissed. Eddie seemed to have noticed her distraction and turned to see what it was but was caught off guard when she started pushing him towards her car, she throws the door open and kicks him into the backseat. Robin and Billy seemed to have gotten the hint when they heard that math teacher screaming out for someone to stop the trespasser, that being [F/N], but no one did anything and just watched [F/N] jump into the drivers seat and quickly drive out of the parking lot.

“Well that was unnecessarily stressful.” she grumbled under her breath “Welp, it’s official, i ain’t ever going back as long as that teacher is still there. I think she’s gonna try and have me arrested.” Billy started to laugh, leaning forward from where he was seated in the backseat.

“I can’t believe you actually broke into the school.” she shrugged her shoulders.

“What can I say? I was aching to see my sweet birdie.” she cooed softly, reaching towards Robin’s face to twirl a strand of her hair around her finger before tucking it behind her hair. Robin immediately looked away to twirl a strand of her hair around her own finger, she then stopped when she realised what [F/N] had done and looked at Eddie in distress. He noticed Robin’s change in expression and raised his hands, giving her a look of reassurance.

“Don’t worry about it, Buckley. I already know [F/N] swings that way, I’m just more surprised she ended up with someone to begin with.” Robin looks at [F/N] and she nods her head.

“Yeah, he was one of the first people I came out to. I trust him with my life.” she then abruptly stops the car and turns back towards them, a look of irritation shining in her eyes “But fuck the both of you for what you did! Now people are going to spread rumours how I’m getting fucked by the both of y’all, and that thought alone is disgusting.” she sneers at them in disgust when they give her suggestive smirks “If you say anything I don’t like I’m gonna have you guys walk.” none of them could really risk going through with the risk so they just kept their mouths shut, she was kind enough to drop Eddie off first because Billy now lived in the trailer park after his father turned tail and bailed after the events that occurred during the 85′ and has been back since. Max’s mum, Susan, was kind enough to keep a roof over his head until he graduated but most of the time Billy was with Steve at their home. [F/N] greeted Wayne and he was more than welcoming when he saw her, opening his arms up and bringing her into a bone crushing hug, Robin laughed upon seeing her winded self nearly collapse to the ground when he let her go. She gifted the Munson’s a rose each and some chocolates, sparing them a kiss before leaving when Billy left the trailer and back into her car. [F/N] was instructed to pick Billy up and bring him around the house after the school while Steve himself hurried to pick the children up and drop them off home then race back to the house before her. He also told her to have Billy’s eyes closed before she made it home so when they was turning the corner to the Harrington residence she told Billy to do exactly that.

“Are we almost there?” she giggles softly. 

“Yeah, we’re nearly there.” she has to silence Robin when she nearly gasped at what was in the driveway, [F/N] instructs Billy to keep his eyes closed when she parks her car and gets out of the drivers seat.

“Oh goodie, you’re here!” Billy’s head perks up at the sound of Steve’s voice, Robin then scoffs softly from where she was.

“You didn’t just say “oh goodie” at the sight of your boyfriend.” Steve playfully glared at Robin.

“Oh, hahaha, very funny.”

“Steve, whatever this is, it better not be stupid.”

“I promise you, blue, that you’re gonna love this surprise. Both [F/N], Robin and I put this together. Just for you.” [F/N] smiled softly at her brother, she waited for him to give her the go to and when she did she gently tapped Billy on his arm.

“You can open your eyes now.” and so he does and his eyes immediately start tearing up at the sight of his new and repaired camaro sitting in the driveway, both girls gently caress his arms before stepping back to let Steve comfort his boyfriend. Yeah, it was Steve’s idea to tow Billy’s car out from the dump and get it repaired. [F/N] found him working on it in their garage and immediately asked if she could help in any way she could, this later led to Robin wanting in to help as well. They had only recently gotten everything repaired or replaced just before valentine’s day and Steve believed it would be the perfect gift for his sweet Billy “And I’ll leave you two here.” she blows Billy a kiss and bids them both goodbye then the two of them were off to enjoy the rest of their afternoon together.

“i can’t believe you actually broke into the school, [F/N]. I thought you put Billy up to it.” she shrugged her shoulders, letting out a laugh.

“It wouldn’t have meant as much as it did if he did it, sweetheart. He only helped me to find which locker was yours, other than that, it was Eddie who helped me get close enough to you to leave little gifts.” 

“Well, I really appreciated all those thoughtful little gifts.” Robin glances at her face and it brightens when she saw a big smile stretch across her lips followed by a soft flush of pink, seeing [F/N] react like this always made Robin feel giddy. She soon bites her lip, her hand slipping into her pocket and feeling for the small little gift box that had been sitting in there the whole day. Of course she had a gift for [F/N], she would have felt awful if she didn’t get anything for her, but it was nothing in comparison to everything [F/N] has given her so far and she wasn’t even finished with her surprise “[F/N].” she gently called, she got a hum in response followed by her turning the music down.

“Yes?”

“I love you.” the flush on [F/N]’s face turned brighter, this caused Robin to giggle once more.

“And I… love you too.” she brought Robin home first so she could freshen up and wear something more comfortable, she had yet another lecture from Robin’s father while her mother told him to lay off, telling [F/N] that she’ll be more than welcome to come by the Buckley residence whenever she was around. Robin now found herself in Billy’s situation, however, she had a blindfold over her eyes as she [F/N] drove her to an unknown location.

“Are you sure you’re not taking me out of town to kill me?” [F/N] laughs.

“Oh, please. If I wanted to kill you I would have done it without the need to leave town.” Robin shudders at the thought “Don’t even think about bringing up last years events.” Robin clears her throat.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” [F/N] takes a deep breath to calm herself down “Are we nearly there yet? I want to look at you.” she chuckles at the impatience coming from her, tapping against the stirring wheel when they were stopped at the red light.

“Don’t worry Robin, you’ll get plenty of me and more when we get there, so be patient.” that comment was more than enough to get Robin to quiet down for the rest of the car ride, when they finally arrived at their destination Robin was led out of the car and taken on a bit of a walk. She held onto [F/N]’s arm as she trusted her not to let go, she let out a soft gasp when [F/N] did let her go but she held onto her hands and kissed the back of her knuckles “Just stand here for a bit and I’ll tell you when to take the blindfold off, mmkay?”

“O-Okay, just don’t take too long.” this earned Robin a soft kiss to the cheek, [F/N] quickly jogs away and sets up when she needs to get done, only a couple minutes pass when she hears [F/N] shout for her.

“You can take the blindfold off!” she was still a bit of a distance away from where she left her, Robin sighs softly and takes the blindfold off and the moment she did the sound of music hit her ears. She gasped softly at the sight of where [F/N] brought her, she had brought her to a beautiful lush rose garden and at the very centre of it all was a beautifully let gazebo and of course her beautiful girlfriend “Happy valentine’s day, Robin.” the wind picked up and blew some of the rose petals into the air, making the scene in front of her more romantic as she began to approach [F/N].

“When did you…?” she began to question, [F/N] chuckled softly as she took a step forward.

“One of the few fortunate things of being a Harrington’s child, you know a few good places for dates.” she sighed softly as she looked up at the gazebo “My mother told me how my father brought her here for valentine’s day, and though I’m not particularly fond of following in his footsteps, this place was too good to pass up on. So, hows about a nicely lit dinner between lovers on this sweet valentine’s day settle for a date?” [F/N] then reaches forward, extending her hand out to Robin for her to take.

“Heh, how romantic.” Robin finally settles her hand down in [F/N]’s hand, letting out a laugh when [F/N] pulled her into her arms and spun the two of them around, the both of them laughing to their hearts content “Did you book this place out?” she asked, [F/N] hummed as the two of them now swayed to the music.

“Mm hmm, I booked it weeks in advance and paid a lot of money so someone else couldn’t buy the spot out of me. You deserve the perfect view as we dine and dance on this very romantic day.” she muses, pressing her cheek into Robin’s “Do you like it?” she briefly pulls away to get a look at Robin’s face but hers dropped a little when Robin looked a little conflicted, she soon holds her hands and rubs her thumbs over her knuckles “What’s wrong? Is it too much?” Robin lets out a sigh, pulling back a little as she looked anywhere that wasn’t [F/N]’s pretty doe eyes.

“No, it’s just… I feel guilty that I won’t be able to treat you to something as grand as this. My gift can’t even match up to everything you put together.” [F/N] gasps softly.

“You got me a gift?” Robin meekly nodded her head “Can I see it? If it makes you feel better, you’ll be the first person— girlfriend, really, that’s gotten me a gift?” Robin whipped her head to look back towards [F/N], who chuckled nervously as she rubbed the back of her neck bashfully.

“Really?” she nods.

“Yeah, I played the male role in the relationship and was the one that usually gave my dates gifts. Most of the times I could tell that each relationship I had was one sided, that my love and attention would never get reciprocated.” Robin pouts softly, reaching forward to cup [F/N]’s face.

“Well, they’re stupid to not think of spoiling you either.” this caused a laugh out of her, Robin pulls away to dig into her pocket. She nervously held the small box in her hand, rubbing her thumb into the wrapping before handing it to her. She waits nervously as [F/N] pulls at the ribbon to unravel it then she removes the lid to look at what was inside, Robin watches her grab it and pull it out, revealing the small little locket that she bought from an antique store. She opens it and her heart melts at the sight of the picture inside, it was taken by Steve when she was in the hospital after she and Billy miraculously survived the onslaught they suffered through, it was of her and Robin cuddled together look happier than ever as they shared a kissed. On the other part of that locket had words engraved on it, ”you’ll forever have my heart, as I’ll have yours. through thick and thin, I will always love you; never forget that”. [F/N] couldn’t help but grit her teeth as her hand enclosed on the locket, her eyes began to water as the tears threatened to fall down her cheeks. Robin quickly cups her cheeks when the tears finally did manage to fall, she understood why [F/N] was reacting this way.

When she and Billy did recover after the Starcourt burnt down, [F/N] wanted nothing to do with Robin and Steve. She wanted to leave the state and stay out, not because she didn’t love them anymore, no, it was because she thought it was safer for the both of them if she wasn’t around anymore. It broke her heart that she was alive after everything she had done, she would have felt better if she died after that because at least she wouldn’t have to feel the guilt of practically cheating on her girlfriend while emotionally abusing her then physically beating the shit out of her and her precious little brother. Robin made it clear that there wasn’t anything that [F/N] said that was going to drive her away, [F/N] needed her more than ever and she was going to stay by her side and give her the help that she needs to recover; both physically and mentally. It took a lot of time before [F/N] was able to look at her again or even touch her without recoiling away, Robin was in tears when [F/N] managed to actually hug her without immediately pulling away, her heart swelled up when they were able to cuddle in bed like they did before. Robin thought of that little gift when she saw that locket in that antique shop she passed while in Indy with Steve, she was grateful for her brother when he still had that photo saved on film and quickly got it developed, shaped and placed perfectly in the locket. She thought that [F/N] would appreciate a gift that marked a pretty intense part of there life along with words that helped ease her mind that Robin was going nowhere.

“W-What did I do to deserve someone like you?” she sobbed into her shoulder, her arms wrapped around her torso as she pulled her close and held her tight so she wouldn’t disappear “Why did you stick around when I’ve become this damaged?” she inhaled deeply, rubbing her hands up and down her back.

“Because I loved you, and I knew what I was getting myself into the moment I agreed to be yours.” she gasped softly at that as another sob left her lips, Robin gently pulls back but doesn’t resist when [F/N] moved her arms from her torso to around her waist. She lifts her face up to gently wipe away the tears before pulling her into a much needed kiss, [F/N] couldn’t help but cry softly into the kiss “You deserve to be loved, and you deserve to be taken care of. You deserve love.” this earned a soft hum, the older woman leaning into the palm that cupped her cheeks as her body relaxed.

“I deserve… to be loved.” Robin nods.

“You do, and I am more than willing to give you my love.” she then takes the locket from out of [F/N]’s hands, quickly clipping it on around her neck then gently patting her on the chest “Happy valentine’s day, [F/N].” she smiled tearfully, sniffling softly as she held the locket in her hand.

“Happy valentine’s day, Robin.” she then kneels down to wrap her arms around Robin’s waist to lift her up and spin the both of them around, laughing to her hearts contents when Robin let out a squeal of joy, her hands planted on her shoulders to keep herself balanced. When [F/N] finally brought her down she continued to hold her in her arms but this time Robin wrapped her arms around her neck, the two of them stared into each other’s eyes then finally shared a kiss that they poured so much love into.

They were in love, and that was their moment.

…

…

“Are you alright?” a voice asked, the person they asked slowly opened their eyes and they had a pained expression on their face as a single tear ran down their cheek. They stared up at the sky above them and their face turned bitter as they raised their hand, swiping the tear away in one swoop.

“Yeah, I just had a nice dream.”

[justagalwhowrites]

Hello!

LOVE Halcyon and have full faith in your vision for the characters.

Full disclaimer - I hate the idea that men and women can’t be friends, and I know (and want!) the endgame for them to be together, but their banter is so cute and lovely, that I think in another universe, they’re platonic soulmates instead which would also totally work!

I mean that as a compliment, like you write so well that the characters are so fleshed out that I see them as much more than their attraction to each other, and if you remove that, they’re still themselves.

That being said, I am wanting to slap them (again, good thing) and get them to get their acts together. But I trust you!

On Goldie being intelligent, I see her as extremely clever, but girlie was suckered in by her professor? She’s clever about everything but her love life. And her self worth bcos of that is not great and she thinks Joel is the best thing since sliced bread, OF COURSE she’s ignoring the signs.

I could go on foreverrrr but my main point is this is your story, your characters, we are just along for the ride. If you don’t write it how you want, I think that’s a disservice to everyone involved.

Sending all the love xxxxxxxx

Hi Bestie!!!

I so agree on the men and women being friends thing (see: Doc and Andrew in Lavender, I love them as completely platonic soulmates. Maybe there's a universe where they're romantically attached but I don't know it lol) I can definitely see Joel and Goldie working as just friends in another time because they do have such a strong basis as friends. Even though a lot has happened since their high school years, they came of age together. There's a lot of each of them in the other, they wouldn't be who they are without the other one.

When it comes to Goldie, I'm inclined to agree with you. I think she is an incredibly smart woman but she's terrible at seeing herself for who she is. She was already suffering from just existing as a girl in the 2000s (a terrible time to exist in a female body, not that there's ever really been a great one) and was ensnared by a mentor who decided to break her down to be able to manipulate and control her. And then there's Joel, who she had a crush on forever but everything told her that he wasn't interested. She was used to boys not being interested in her (she had a bit of an ugly duckling thing going on in early high school, she came into her own more in her senior year. I think she was always pretty but wasn't great at dressing to fit in even though she tried, was a little socially awkward, etc.) and Joel Miller was Joel Miller: guy too cool to give a shit about much and well known through the school for his football prowess. They're adults now but she still has him a bit on this pedestal - far cooler than her and interested in the kind of woman she can't seem to fashion herself to be (or so she thinks) - in part because Gale made her think that she wasn't anything without him. Why would she be something Joel is interested in now? It's much easier to accept what you think your place in life is than to ask for more. Meanwhile, Joel is like "I'm just some idiot who fucked his life up and she's a fucking genius, why in the WORLD would she look twice at me?" His "too cool to care" attitude is mostly a defense mechanism. It's a lot easier to find some satisfaction in a life you didn't expect or want if you can act like none of it (outside of Sarah of course) actually matters and you're above it all.

ANYWAY that's my thesis on Goldie and Joel lol and why they are the way they are. I hope that makes sense? Part of the journey they're on is helping the other see themselves differently.

That being said, I do feel bad that it's dragging on so long, both in the length of time it's taking me to put chapters out but also how long I think it feels that they've been this way? I dunno.

I so appreciate your thoughts and everyone else who has commented and sent asks! I really don't want to be just dragging people through a story. Yeah, I know you can set something down if you get fed up with it but I don't want anyone to feel like they HAVE to read it because they've enjoyed other things I wrote so they're just sticking with this one out of some sense of obligation? I'm probably overthinking things?

LONG STORY SHORT thank you for sharing and I love you!

[inekepp]

WOULD LOVE ANYTHING YOU COULD TELL ME ABOUT THE PHARMACY WIP FRIEND :') <3

Hii!

Okay, so. Pharmacy AU basically comes down to Alex working as a pharm tech in a 24/7 pharmacy (another reason why his sleeping schedule is shot to all hell, bc, yknow, eves, nights, the lot), and Henry is coming in to pick up meds for Arthur, who still suffers from cancer in this fic and all that. Henry keeps on getting Alex as the one who helps him (either bc coincedence, or luck, or timing, or however you want to call it, though i think i put a reference or two in that he did hit other coworkers of alex too, as to make it a tad more realistic). Alex, being quite experienced at this point, immediately clocks as to what Arthur is suffering from (in broad lines, anyway. beyond 'cancer' he ain't getting much further) and in the beginning he holds out hope, but that diminishes as soon as he sees that it's been quite a bit since Arthur got meds for chemo, and what Henry is coming to pick up (which, basically, is painkillers).

eventually, which is what i've yet to write, henry is going to come in to pick up meds like morphine and midazolam bc of palliative care (which, as the midazolam suggests, means hallucinating/possible aggression and the likes bc delirium), and then has to come back because the midazolam isn't doing the trick.

i was also v much planning on henry coming in at some point where alex is on the phone w his boss who tried to contact a coworker but failed (dunno if said coworker is hunter but yknow might as well be haha. but like, failing could happen bc travel or whatnot i dont think it matters much). so here alex is, saying to his boss that hed pass on the message when coworker gets in, but just says 'he' instead of coworker, cue henry panicking bc he thinks it mightve been fam trying to contact him about arthur, and, well.. yeah.

im not being nice to henry here, im sorry.

anyway, alex is v much crushing, but like, cant do much about it aside from helping henry as fast as he can and make it as pleasant as such a visit could be, bc p r o f e s s i o n a l i s m, (which he prob v well throws out the window w panic attack bc, well, he cant henry suffer alone can he?).

and in the last chapter, which is gon be x time after alex saw henry at the hospital last, is basically going to be them running into one another somewhere (idk, coffeeshop? library? somewhere. havent figured that out yet) and get to talking and maybe possibly set up a date (also bc henryd be thanking him in person for all hes done, and henry being henry had send a massive mail to the boss at some point complimenting alex for all his help and care and bc he deserved to get the praise. alex v much would want to thank him for that bc boss (zahra prob) having been like dunno what youve done but good work, and just, getting praise, esp in healthcare, be rare as fuck, so yknow. its something big.

im also hella drawing on my own experiences as a pharm tech, and i do have a load of quiet eve shifts, so, lie, its not unheard of, and while i do not state in which country they are bc i cant be arsed to look up laws and practises and shit like insurance shit bc its irritating and complex enough where im from and im the person who deals w insurances in the first place, i guess its all universal enough (and i did google if midazolam and all that were still like used the same in other countries, bc availability in meds and whas used can differ from country to country).

does that answer it? if not, feel free to clarify!

[sins-of-the-sea]

"Guy?"

"(G) Please go away, Captain. I'm trying to sleep!"

"I got word from La Demonia that you and Phoebus got into a fight."

"(G) Splendid, Captain. Did she also get news that water is wet?"

"The fight had you say something that really broke Phoebus."

"(G) Big news! Congratulate me for not doing so literally by sneezing on him!"

"Guy… tell me what happened, friend."

"(G) I told him he's a useless piece of shit who should stop fucking things up."

The walls and floorboards of the ship groan.

"(G) And those too, but I was giving the summary."

"…Guy. Do you know why you are finding yourself sleeping all day?"

"(G) Because my brother is so useless, he can't even even lift a drinking straw without a golem doing it for him."

The Captain sighs. "I would have thought you'd have more empathy for your brother than this…"

"(G) Empathy… empathy?! Let me tell you something about empathy, Captain--

"(G) 'Empathy' plagued me my entire life when it came to my brother, from when our stepfather tried to force conversion onto him, to when I stepped up to continue Phoebus' studies in the university so he could become a doctor when he was ready to return. 'Empathy' turned me into a kept man for a lord who wanted me dead. 'Empathy' had me agree to follow my brother to the ends of the earth was filled with starvation, mutinies, and battles we didn't win. 'Empathy' gave me a fever that would have killed me. 'Empathy' sold my soul to the Master.

"(G) I don't want to hear a lick of a lesson on 'empathy' when all it did is fuck me over harder than any toy up my orifices! I don't care if he's my brother! I don't care if you're my Captain!"

"……"

"(G) …. I did it again, I'm sorry, Captain! I didn't mean-"

"Guy. You don't have to apologize for feeling alone and that what you've done is not appreciated. You are in your right to be angry, even with me for approaching you like this. I didn't come to chastise you for being bitter, or for wanting to get away from your brother's shadow."

"(G) ……………"

"I wanted to let you know…. that your brother had a chance to make things right with Miss Taryn. He had the choice to do whatever he wanted with your body given you are much stronger than he is.

"He decided against it, knowing full well it would be against your consent. The bar may be low on what Phoebus can do as an accomplishment--but remember you are identical, especially genetically. He could have kept silent about the body swap and did whatever he wanted because you are the stronger, more physically capable brother. No one would be the wiser--not to you or Miss Taryn. But he still decided against what would essentially be assault on your end. Not only because it's wrong--but because he thought of your well-being."

"(G)……………."

"Of course, he still got slapped for thinking with the head between his legs instead of the ones on his shoulders, but I can't blame him given 1.) he got body swapped, 2.) he got body swapped with the Sin of Lust, and 3.) this is Miss Taryn we're talking about. So it seems the two of them aren't going to-"

"(G) Wait, he was slapped?! Is he okay??"

"Why don't you ask him?"

"(G) …………………………."

"I know you don't want to forgive him for what he's said the past winter. I know you don't want anything to do with Phoebus ever again. You are in your right to do so. But now that you are in his body and he has suffered enough in yours-

"Know there is a reason you are sleeping all day and cannot get up. Know there is a reason you are feeling deep dread and guilt for something you didn't do. Know there is a reason why Phoebus is scared to do anything. Know there is a reason why he is unable to improve and change. And above all…..

"Know you just fought with Phoebus using his face, his voice… directed at him. After he came to you not to scold you for having a brand--but out of concern as to why you didn't trust him enough in the first place when it mattered the most."

"(G) Captain, I-....."

"I'll see if I can talk to him if he's okay. You have maybe three hours left to the body swap. Go ahead and rest. It'll be over soon."

[tinamaetales]

Lights, camera, bitch SMILE! (even when you wanna die)

“'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit. They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did…… I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day” - Taylor Swift, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

“You’re in a good mood today!” My friend from work told me after I greeted her with a simple “good morning” the moment I arrived at our office. Little does she know that contrary to the cheerful greeting matched with a smile, I am actually breaking apart inside. The thing is, I have become so good at faking it that it looks genuine. Now, I am pondering how I managed to do this for years while life just goes on for everyone else. Crazy how one’s smile or tone of voice can hide so much. I guess Taylor Swift’s right when she said, “You know you’re good when you can even do it with a broken heart”

Fighting the stigma of mental health, especially in a country like the Philippines, is a long shot. While there has been progress in this matter, it is pretty obvious that the battle is far from over. In this country, opening up about your mental health struggles means you will be facing more backlash (pessimism instead of support) which I find ironic since this is also the same country who loves to yell about its “Christianity” When you open up about your mental health struggles, the common response is either they will question your faith or they will be dismissive of your pain. Oh, there really is no hate like Christian love.

Depression is not a choice. If there is something I can offer to the universe in exchange for a healed version of myself, I would have done that a long time ago. The thing is, people often judge you when you tell them that you have been struggling with depression. Some would even say this generation uses their mental health as scapegoat for “this and that” but they are wrong. I never chose to be depressed. I never chose to be filled with anxiety every single day. What people don’t realize is that for people who are living with depression, it takes everything in them just to show up each day. It takes everything in me just to get out of bed and show up at work. I don’t have a choice but to work because I am the breadwinner. If I don’t work, we will starve. And while I just silently accept the judgment of people around me because I cannot do much or I cannot contribute more at work, I just have to keep on wearing the mask of normalcy and pretend that everything in my life is under control. But damn, I just want to run away and scream at the sky. I am so tired of the kind of life I am living. I hate being depressed but this is the kind of illness that does not easily go away. Depression is not like a fever that would go away after 3 to 4 days of drinking medicine. Depression, for the majority of its sufferers, is a lifelong battle and sometimes, there is no guarantee of healing from it. For more than a decade now, I have been fighting this silent battle that, to be honest, I feel like I would soon lose. I am already exhausted despite learning how to live with it. But everytime I try to end my life, something will always snap me back and stop me from doing it. So, now I realized that I might actually be a strong person because I live life with a broken heart.

There have been numerous instances in my life when I thought I cannot handle it but I ended up doing it anyway because I simply do not have a choice. One of the most recent is when I still show up to work and continue doing my tasks acting as if I did not just cry my heart out the night before because I found out that my grandfather died. Crazy how I was weeping at home the moment my relatives from the province told us the news via phone call and I was still crying while at the shower and then the moment I stepped out the house the tears stopped and my face was back to its normal look. I arrived at work looking normal. I was doing my tasks while my heart was in deep pain. Every time my workmates strike a conversation with me, I just talk to them casually. No one suspected a thing. Nobody had the slightest clue that I was breaking inside. Hell, I was so good at this pretend game that sometimes it makes me feel like I am one of the fakest people on earth. But my everyday life is a greater example of “doing it with a broken heart” Every single day I face people with a smile acting as if everything is okay with me. And I guess that’s where my problem starts. My family, friends, and colleagues are all so used to seeing me always smiling and laughing that news of my struggle with depression seems to be so surprising. My own family does not believe me. My friends, some of them, are skeptical of my depression. In the end, you will always be alone in your struggle.

For someone who recently “came home” to God, I gotta admit that I felt embarrassed opening up about my mental health struggles. Usually, people’s assumption is you do not get depressed when you have faith. But, is it really a lack of faith on my part? I have faith in God, no doubt but acknowledging my own pain and wanting to seek professional help does not immediately mean that my faith is weak. Even God acknowledges our pain (prophet Elijah) Even Jesus, during his earthly ministry, knows what heartbreak is (John 11:35 - Jesus wept). My main conflict right now is how to have a stronger hold on my faith in God while facing the storm of depression. The rest of the world may judge me, including my family and friends, but one thing’s for certain, God will always embrace me despite being broken. I know that God acknowledges my pain and understands where I am coming from. Every time I feel like losing it again, I just keep on reading this verse from the Bible that has been the source of my strength these days: Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest Matthew 11:28.

Every time I look in the mirror, I truly cannot recognize myself. Am I a tough kid who can handle anything and survive everything? Or am I a masked person whose real identity is hidden from the world so that nobody suspects a thing about what is really happening in my life? Right now, I am trying my best to survive each day. I continue to smile at people even though deep inside there is a pain that is killing me. I continue to pray to God and ask for mercy even though there are times when I feel like I am not worthy to even talk to Him. I am navigating through life with a broken heart. Let me end this blog post with the outro lyrics from the same song I mentioned above, “'Cause I'm miserable And nobody even knows”

X,

TinaMae