#i wish I eas less incapable I

[campirebitesarchive]

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[evanstanhoney]

Drunk. //Badboy!Shawn

a/n: this has been in my drafts for well over a year lol i hope you guys like it. 

⚠️warnings: angst with some fluff if you squint 

pairing: badboy!shawn x reader

word count: 2.3k 

“Honey…” Shawn slurs into the phone and your heart nearly breaks. 

 Your heart stops at the sound of his voice. The last time you’d heard it, it was laced with venom saying words that cut through you like knives. 

 “Just leave.” 

 “I don’t want to see you.” 

 “I don’t want you here.” 

But now you could hear something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but it put you on edge. The thought crossed your mind to not say a word, in hopes that he’d hang up. Or maybe you’d hang up first and pretend you’d never gotten the call in the first place but you were never one to go with your gut, if you had you wouldn’t even be in the position you are in now. 

 “Shawn...” 

 “How  - what are you doing right now?” He mumbles into the phone. You hadn’t a clue how many drinks he’s had, but if he’s calling you then you know it must have been a rough night. 

 “Shawn where are you?” you asked. Why you were concerned, you couldn’t figure out, but the idea of him being in as bad of shape as he was wandering around or somewhere where he could get himself into trouble worried you.  

 “I’m- I’m home. But I miss you.” 

 “Shawn go to sleep.”

 “No. Not without you. I can’t without you, it’s too hard.” He whines petulantly.

 “Just - can you drink some water? Can you do that for me?” 

 “Can you come here?” 

 “Shawn I can’t.” 

 “Sure you can. You just don’t want to. Because I’m bad. I’m a bad person” 

 Of course, you want to go to him. You want to go to his place cuddle him up and nurse him back to sobriety, but it's a terrible idea for the both of you. The back and forth between you needed to stop, and since it seemed as though he was incapable of thinking of anyone other than himself you were going to have to be the one to their foot down. You couldn’t see him. If you did then you’d be dragged back into the cycle.  

 “You’re not bad Shawn.” 

 “Yes, I am. If I wasn’t then you’d be here right now. But you’re not.” there's a long silence between the two of you before you barely make out a whisper, “You’re so far away.” 

 “Shawn. You’re very drunk.” you sigh. You kept telling yourself that he didn’t mean it, no matter how much he was tugging at your heartstrings, none of it meant anything. He was drunk and for some reason thought that it was a good idea to call you but none of this meant anything. He wouldn’t even remember in the morning and he’d go back to pushing you away….until he wants you again. 

 “I am. I also miss you. Anything else you want to point out?” he hisses into the phone, and he immediately regrets it rushing with apologies, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please don’t hang up. I didn’t mean that.” 

 “I’m not going to hang up.” You sigh rubbing at your temple. 

 Why were you still entertaining this? All you had to do was hit the little red button on your phone and he would go away. Just like he wanted. But here you are. 

 “I’m sorry for what I said.” He 

 “I know you are.” 

 “I mean it.” 

 “I know you do bub,” The nickname slips out, and you flinch and you tense up biting your lip. 

 There’s a long pause on the other end and for a moment you think he hung up until you hear him sigh into the phone, “Can you come over. Please.” he asks suddenly a little soberer. 

 You pull your phone away from your ear looking at the time, it’s late but it’s not terribly late, and no matter how much you wanted to pretend like he no longer had an effect on you, there was no point in lying to yourself. 

 “Yeah, okay.” 

 “Really?” He quips, voice a little lighter. 

 “Yeah. I’ll be over in twenty.” 

  …..…..

You’re standing on his doorstep for about a minute, reminding yourself that at any time you can leave. You could turn around get back in your car and go home and forget all about Shawn Mendes, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do you. Hesitantly you raise your fist up knocking on the door lightly hoping not to wake the rest of his roommates. There’s a little bit of clattering before Shawn’s clumsily opening the door for you, leaning against the frame with a dopey grin on his face. 

 “You’re here.” 

 “I told you I’d be didn’t I.,” you say giving him a sad smile. He was in bad shape. Hair a mess, eyes bloodshot, with dark circles underneath, and a fresh cut on his cheek. You raise your hand up, turning his head to the side to get a better look at the wound “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” 

 You take his hand, and he follows behind you as you make your way to his bedroom. You set him down on his bed, and he plops down his hands going straight to your waist pulling you in close as you stand in between his legs. You run your fingers through his hair, and he leans into your touch letting out a contented sigh. “I’ll be right back,” you say pulling yourself away from him. 

 You head into the bathroom, rummaging through his bathroom cabinet trying to find the supplies needed to clean up his face, and you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.  You didn’t look much better than him, your hair just as a mess, eyes just as bloodshot, and the same pained look behind your eyes. 

 What were you doing? What is it about this boy that’s got you running to him at all hours of the night to take care of him? Didn’t you deserve better than this? 

 You come back into the room and see him laying down on the bed. 

 “Up for a second, please,” you say tapping his knee. He lets out a little groan but follows your instructions, “It’s going to sting a little.” you warn beginning to clean him up. Any other night you would have asked him what he’d gotten himself into, who he’d pissed off but it would probably only end with a fight, so you didn’t. 

“Thank you,” he whispers to you, and you just nod your head knawing at your lip. “I really am sorry.” 

 “You don’t have to apologize. Let’s just get you in bed, yeah?”  you reply, almost robotically. This is your routine, you’ve done it all before. The drunken apologies and you just have to smile and nod and wait for him to sober up, just for him to be his normal emotionally unavailable self in the morning. 

 You lean down and help him take off his boots and once you do he stands stipping down to his boxers, and it's not that it’s something you haven't seen before, but now it felt like an invasion of privacy. Like you’ve lost the right to see one other in such away. You catch yourself staring and decide it’s time for some hangover prep. So you go down to the kitchen, getting a glass of water and some crackers, and finding some pain killers to set next to his bed. 

 “You’re all set. I think I should go.” 

 “No,” He complains from where he’s layed in bed, “stay with me.” 

 “I don��t think that’s such a good idea, Shawn.” 

 “I know it’s not, and I know I don’t deserve it. But please stay.” He asks suddenly a lot more sober than he’d been since you walked in. And it’s embarrassing just how easy it was for you to change your mind. 

 “Okay.” 

 He pulls his covers to the side, allowing you to scoot in next to him. You lay back against the pillows, and Shawn is quick to take comfort in you, laying his head on your chest. It throws you off how comfortable he is wrapping himself around you, and you hesitate for a movement before you sink into the pillows wrapping your arms around him in return.  

…..…..

The sun peaking through the blinds is what wakes you the next morning. You had almost forgotten where you were as if the events of the night before never happened. But soon the familiar scent of Shawn’s cologne filled your senses and there was no denying where you were. Your stomach did somersaults at the realization, but as you turned over finding Shawn's side of the bed empty you started the think of an escape plan. But as you went through it all in your head, something came over you and decided not to run. Running is what’s gotten you in this situation in the first place. You needed to face him, to deal with whatever mess is to come. 

So you got yourself relatively presentable and made your way out of the bedroom to find Shawn’s shirtless back to you over the stove. You take a seat at the island and he doesn’t seem to notice you, too focused on what he’s doing so you awkwardly cleared your throat hoping that it’d do the trick, and it does. 

“Morning,” he says with a small smile, before turning back around plating a pancake. 

“Good morning.”

“I figured I’d make you breakfast. As a thank you, I don’t remember much about last night but, um….I feel like an apology is in order.” 

“Shawn- no it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry you came all the way over here. And you definitely didn’t need to spend the night so - thanks.” 

“It’s no big deal Shawn really.” He doesn’t argue with you anymore, just gives you a sad smile, and shakes his head fondly. “What?” 

“You’re just always so self-less. I will never understand you.” 

“I’m not self-less.” you scoff shaking your head. 

“Yes you are,” he says firmly. “The last time I saw you….” 

“We don’t have to talk about it.” 

“Yes, we do. Because the last time we spoke I said some awful, vile things.” 

“Shawn really it’s -” 

“No! No it’s not fine.” he snaps, before letting out a deep breath, “Why do you do that? Why do you keep making excuses for me?” 

“I don’t - I don’t know.” 

“I was awful to you. I said awful things and then I call you, blackout drunk and you come over. Not only that, but you spend the night when I ask, and you want to tell me that you’re selfless.” 

“I just don’t want you to hurt Shawn that’s all.” 

“Even after everything, I put you through.” 

“Yeah. Even after everything. I wish I didn’t care so much, believe me, my life would be much easier, but I can’t help it.” 

He looks at you with sad eyes and sets a plate down in front of you with pancakes and some bacon. He comes around the counter and takes a seat next to you, 

“You’re not eating?” you ask 

“Nah, I’m not hungry. Just wanted to do something for you,” he says through a sad smile. “Go ahead, eat.” he encourages, and you pick up your fork and dig in.  

You eat in relative silence for a few moments unsure of what to say next. In all your time together, whatever your relationship was, Shawn seldom did anything like this for you. He would do things for you sure, but they always ended up leading to him asking for a favor, and it always felt like he was making a deal rather than trying to do something nice. So you sat and waited for the other shoe to drop, for him to say something to ruin the nice gesture. 

But it doesn’t come. He lets you finish your food in peace, and then when you finish, he cleans up for you. 

“I should probably get going.”

There was a flash of disappointment on Shawn’s face but he knew better. He knew what this was for you and he knew he’d be stupid to think that you’d see it anything other than a mistake. 

“Yeah- yeah. Of course.”

You go to collect your things that you’d haphazardly dropped onto the small living room couch the night before, but Shawn stops you. 

“Actually, wait.” you look up at him and it’s like the first time you ever were together alone all over again. You were nervous, heart pounding in your chest butterflies in your stomach. You wanted to run, but you also needed to hear what he had to say. “I don’t want you to go.”

“Shawn.” 

“Not without you hearing this. I just - I want to fix this. I know I don’t deserve it. I know that I’m a piece of shit and I put you through hell-”

“You did.” 

“Yeah. I did. And words can’t describe how sorry I am for it. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t.” 

“No, you can’t.” 

“But,” he takes a step closer to you taking your hands in his and your heart rate picks up, “I can do everything I can to make it up to you.” He says quietly, “If you let me. Please.” 

Everything in you is screaming ‘NO!’. But the heart wants what the heart wants, or so they say. 

“Okay.” 

Shawns eyes lit up, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had to have been dreaming. Everything he’s ever wanted, a second chance with you, was just granted just like that? It couldn’t be. “Okay?” 

“Yeah. You can make it up to me. But Shawn, you fuck up and I’m gone.” 

“Yes. I - okay. I won’t fuck up. I promise. “ 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.". 

 shawn masterlist // chris evans masterlist // tell me what you think? // requests? // wattpad // ao3

[chemicalmongrel]

____________ @doveity asked:  ❛ What's that you have in your hands? Another treasure? ❜ / Typhon ! ____________

There was nothing like the thrill of a hunt coming to its conclusion and getting to return to the cliffside harbor the leviathan called home, especially when the creature had tentacles full of plundered spoils in tow. Shiny, glittering coin always caught its eyes, as well as sparkling gems and burnished furnishing, but nothing as much as the crème de la crème it’d absconded with. It’s why the titan picked it out among all the treasure it could make off with when it sunk the galley making its way across the Aegean Sea. Now, it needed to return to the safety of the cavern it dug out beneath her temple--its precious home.  When it arrived, the titan threaded the colossal coral reef surrounding the cliff face it’d decided to erect the structure atop. Vivid hues of green and blue and red and orange colored the transparent Caspian blue of the water. Various schools of fish and other marine life swam about in lackadaisical patterns, weaving in and out of the vast organic labyrinth. The sun was dipping below the horizon come its return and by then, the exponential glow of all these things started their crescendo.  Bioluminescence was the cause of this effulgent display of lucent colors, a light show underneath the sea, stretching out to caress the world in its dazzling glamor. None of which shone brighter than the immense shape once naught more than a massive shadow beneath the water. Shades of aquamarine, scarlet and pink all in pastel, blending together to form a singular smear, the light glittering off innumerable scales that put any rainbow to shame in how it shimmered and glittered like twilight. Patterns emerged along said natural armor, shapes and images of recent memories dancing across the surface of its psyche. As well as the desires and hopes currently weighing heavy on the creature’s mind, many of which formed as constellations of her grinning visage. Such an image was burned into its eyes, a sight it never wished to forget--a sight it never ceased pursuing.  Maybe it’d be so lucky as to glimpse such a sight tonight?  Typhon could only hope.

Tendrils, thick with coiled muscle, curled and stuck to the crevices and nooks of the tunnel leading into the creature’s lair--bits of stone floating to the ground as more cracks formed from the sheer strength behind each tug and surge forward. Darkness would have consumed the titan completely were it not for the incandescence emanating off of its body, clouds of displaced dust from the rock causing the glow to dim for but moments at a time. Yet even this provided but a flickering torch’s worth of illumination, making all but itself incapable of making out more than several feet out from the source. Even still, though, the sheer intensity of the blackness gave cause for the beast to rely on other senses: echolocation, refined tactile sense and muscle memory, to name a few.  Then, at last, it forced its way through into the cavernous opening it called home.  A massive, rough-hewn opening into the very cliff a certain goddess made her permanent residency, spherical in concept yet not so much when executed. The titan only had so much refined control over its tentacles, after all. Still, it managed to carve out a vast pocket large enough for it to comfortably live within with various interconnected chambers that it used to hide away the hordes of treasure it looted during it numerous centuries of aimless wandering; a few of which were filled to the brim by now. Despite its aquatic nature, though, the entirety of its living space was not filled with the saltiness of the sea.  No, in fact, towards the top, the final third of the space, there was open eye kept fresh by countless porous vents across the ceiling. Extending out into the water was a stretch of rock connected to the far southern wall like a pier, it allowed a door cutout from the stone a balcony for people to stand upon. The flickering light of flame danced down from the stairwell that curved around the bend inside the rock, allowing a shadow to slowly descend the rocky steps as it propped itself up on the balcony to begin obsessing over the piece of treasure it’d absconded with.  “What’s that you have in your hand?” came a low voice.  The titan’s gaze didn’t tear away from the object it fiddled with in webbed fingers, for its interest was invested solely upon said item. But the whiff of flowers and the choppy foam that lapped on the shores of islands and mainlands reached its nostrils. Breath like honey, spicy and aromatic, and sweetly intoxicating like ripe grapes, making its facial features twitch and eyes flutter like a looking glass. A smile began carving its way up dripping wet cheeks On instinct, however, Typhon curled up in a protective ball about its treasure. Did the voice wish to take its prize from it? It worked so hard to find it, so hard to acquire it--and it was for her, not anyone else, her!  It wasn’t like those that came to the temple it couldn’t even build with its own clawed, webbed hands or tendrils. No, it only knew how to destroy. It needed to bring others to build it for the creature--something that destroyed could never create something beautiful enough for her. But this? This was pretty enough! It could give it to her, and she’d smile that smile that makes Typhon glow so brightly. Even if it wished it could’ve made this thing it found, it could still give it to her!  “Another treasure?” A soft hand reached forward to brush silky fingertips across its broad shoulder, a sensation that sent shivers down its vertebrae. Only then did it turn its grin towards her.

 “...tr...eas...ure...” it croaked, softly, eyes glittering in the torchlight like gems. Slowly but surely, the patterns shimmering across its scaled skin turned to question marks and more constellations of her.  “...mine bu-but...”  The tone of its voice was hesitant, unsure--even if it was her, it still could not bear to part with something so shiny. So pretty. So wonderful. It belonged to it, no one else, JUST IT! IT BELONGED TO TYPHON, IT WAS TYPHON’S! TYPHON’S TYPHON’S TYPHON’STYPHON’STYPHON’STYPHON’STYPH-  A single touch to the beast’s neck, fingertips trailing along collar, silenced its screaming thoughts. There was no reason to fear theft with her around, for she did not desire the pretties it collected and hoarded away beneath the calm water’s surface. What did she desire, though? It never could tell such things in other people, for emotions were things it could not hoard, could not identify, could not understand. It’s for this reason why it was so protective of what it collected, why it guarded things so jealously, fervently.  Because it never knew if someone saught after them or not.  “Tr...eas...ure... pretty... so pret-pretty... like you... wanted to... gi...ve to y-you...”

 To win the trust of such an exotic monolith, it took the right reassurances and the right actions. Not everyone could do it, muster the will to be so patient with such a mistrusting creature. It did not mistrust out of a sense of bestial aggression or hostility, but rather due to those exact things it encountered over its long life--all at the hands of the people who gave her life. And while it was possessive and territorial by nature, its interactions with others only worsened it.  But she made it easier to trust, for she did not desire like others did.  Thus, it twisted about, inch by inch, until its entire upper torso faced towards her. Effulgent patterns radiated brighter by the moment as the grin curling up its lips became less uncertain, less frightened and more genuine--the grin it always evinced when in her presence. And when it faced her, it extended either hand whilst they cupped around something rather substantial in size as it took both to cover it.  After a moment of reluctance, Typhon took one hand away to unveil a hand mirror. Pearls and other precious jewels were set into an oval-shaped plate of polished gold with a floral inlay of platinum. Each gem was encircled by these jewels like the crowning piece of individual tiaras. All of which framed a slab of opaque crystal used to reflect whatever observed the center.  “G...ot for y-you... want... ple...ase take... pr-prettier wi...th you... reflection...”

[quinn28u77526-blog]

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[manuelluse0840-blog]

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Spain and Italy were placed in the same qualifying group for the 2018 World Cup in Russia, as had been the Netherlands and France, but holders Germany had been handed a kinder campaign with the Czech Republic their chief rivals. FIFA has passed a decision offering full support for holding the 2018 World Cup in Russia, FIFA President Sepp Blatter mentioned at a gathering with Russia's President Vladimir Putin. In May, when the FIFA scandal broke, Putin harshly criticised the US investigation into FIFA as meddling in matters that have been outside its jurisdiction. On Saturday Putin also pledged to host a World Cup where both home and overseas players and followers would really feel at residence, promising "a grandiose worldwide sporting festival". Spain, world champions in 2010, and Italy, who won the final of their 4 titles in 2006, are favourites to fill the top two slots in Group G after being paired with Albania, Israel, Macedonia and Liechtenstein. Solely the group winners will mechanically advance to the tournament. The eight finest runners-up from nine groups will combat it out in playoffs for four other berths. Germany, who received the World Cup for the fourth time in Brazil last year, will face the Czechs, Northern Ireland, Norway, Azerbaijan and San Marino. Meanwhile, the winners of the Oceania World Cup qualifying group will have to play the fifth-placed South American aspect to reach the world cup following the draw for the intercontinental playoffs. In the other tie, the team which finishes fourth within the CONCACAF competitors will face the fifth-placed workforce from Asia. Both ties will be performed over two legs. Uruguay have completed fifth within the last 4 South American World Cup qualifying competitions and taken part in an intercontinental playoff each time.

In other phrases, the membership merchandise cards which might be a part of the pack will be: no less than one stadium, one ball, one badge and two kits (residence and away). All of the cards of this first pack are untradeable, which means that you cannot sell them. The Welcome Again Packs reward returning customers for their loyalty – their FUT 17 gaming exercise. In contrast to what occurred up to now, the antiquity has no impact on the welcome again packs a player receives. Most of the 12 cards in every pack will probably be gold, for which these provides assume explicit significance in the start of your club. You’ll be rewarded too with two all gamers packs, each one with 4 bronze players cards, four silver gamers cards and 4 gold players playing cards (no less than one rare). During the primary days Day by day Gifts will also be provided, so the sooner you begin the more you can win. A lot of effort has gone into the crowds and lighting, specifically, making the floodlights extra dramatic and the fans more different and outlandish. Some followers will attempt to get onto the pitch if you happen to run over to them following scoring a purpose, while others are so focused on waving their large flags that they in all probability didn’t realise a goal was scored in any respect. These actions change depending on the realm of the world you’re taking part in in, with La Bombonera, house of Boca Juniors of Buenos Aires, being distinctly more rowdy than the comparatively more mellow atmospheres of the Premier League groups. Including to that regional differentiation is a very detailed method to lighting. The sun seems at totally different angles in the sky depending on where on the Earth you’re playing and at what time, affecting shadows and the depth of gentle hitting the pitch. It sounds like a small detail, and it's, however there’s no denying that it creates a more highly effective sense of place. An try and continue that focus on replicating actuality is continued in a new system dictating participant motion and the way your controller inputs direct that movement. Essentially, players react quicker to your inputs – every of their footsteps representing a chance for you to alter direction, versus you having to depend on preset animations to start and finish. The brand new motion system works each ways in that it balances the attack and defence," says Prior. In idea, the thought is which you can change path with each footstep. Players with longer legs take bigger strides and subsequently they're more likely to take extra time to show, whereas the shorter legged likes of Messi or Griezmann are ready to cut in and out more rapidly. In consequence, realism is improved – that’s the thought.

Highlighted during EA’s 2017 EA Play occasion, thisFIFA 18 trailer teased the return of authentic player character Alex Hunter, with a lot of excessive profile soccer talking heads discussing the meteoric rise of the young footballer. With the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo and Thomas Muller speaking about Hunter as part of the trailer, it actually seems as if gamers is not going to be tied to the British soccer leagues in this next iteration of The Journey. Nonetheless, it definitely seems as though this apparent instability about Alex Hunter’s future shouldn't be leading to optimistic acclaim from everybody, with fans and pundits sick of the speculation. The trailer itself ends with a look at some behind-the-scenes drama in Hunter’s life, so it actually means that not all is rosy for the participant, both. These eager about seeing the total trailer can accomplish that under. FIFA 18‘s returning The Journey modehad already been confirmed, however EA Sports had remained coy about precisely what gamers may expect from the second campaign. That mentioned, it’s nonetheless a long strategy to go to guantee that FIFA 18 meets the improvements we wish from the sport.