#this took me so long...almost an hour

[rilu-artblog]

“Send me a character”, for any of the Broflovski’s?

My time has come

Sorry not sorry Anon, I'm doing all of the (main) Broflovski's, I may never have this chance again

Starting from oldest to youngest:

GERALD

First impression First saw him in the FBW games, was wondering why this naked man was huffing cat piss and acting like a little bitch

Impression now Babygirl man, one of my faves, so underappreciated, still a little bitch tho lol

Favorite moment Sosososoooo many it's either him getting super into trolling in 20x02 or when he's cheesing and runs into the boob lady and goes "curse your rocking tits". Or the entire hot tub scene. Or when he smashes the tv playing family guy. Or-

Idea for a story I have so many, but would love anything that explores his youth or him and Sheila's relationship before marriage/having kids

Unpopular opinion Some people are too hard on him and are way more ready to declare him a bad dad instead of making him a fully rounded parent. Also I don't like when people divorce him and Sheila, I love them together. Which leads to...

Favorite relationship Love love love him with Sheila, they're my favorite parent relationship and so 3 dimensional. I also like when he's actually being a good dad to Ike or Kyle. Also also StuartxGerald is way more interesting than RandyxGerald

Favorite headcanon Genuinely have no idea, I like the idea that the reason for him being Skankhunt was because he was high on memberberry wine or something lol

Sheila

First impression From the movie and the games as first impressions, she sure is a bitch I guess

Impression now She has done literally nothing wrong ever in her entire life and is so hot

Favorite moment The entire movie and the boss fight in TFBW. In show, the UPS man scene (U///U)

Idea for a story Just like with Gerald, would love to see anything showing her youth in Jersey and that transition from wildest bitch ever to overprotective mom

Unpopular opinion I don't like when people make her wildly OOC and abusive/homophobic to Kyle, but I also don't like when people imply she's the better parent compared to Gerald and that she needs to divorce him to be happy. Like, no lol

Favorite relationship Her and Gerald of course, she would find him in any universe. She does need more friendships tho, give her and Sharon more scenes together!

Favorite headcanon Uhh it's not a happy one but I do like the headcanon that she had miscarriages before Kyle, which is why she's so protective over him and why they adopted Ike

Kyle!

First impression First SP thing I saw was a SoT playthrough, was rooting for him and the elves and thought his design was cool

Impression now My fave of the main 4, probably second favorite of all the show, think it's wild he causes so much discourse in the fandom lol

Favorite moment Too many, either the entire "Willzyx" ep where he loves orcas (just like me fr) or him yelling in general

Idea for a story Idk??? More post covid stuff or stuff where he's older in general and has his kids. I want to see him be a dad

Unpopular opinion Not him directly but his fans are either super chill or superrrr insufferable. Especially if they have him as a PFP. Also don't immediately give him bad parents, at least let him be the one main kid with decentish parents lol.

Favorite relationship No surprise, really like his friendship with Stan, they should never be separated even if it hurts them or others lol. I do like K2, Nichole and him and David and him together as either friends or romantic

Favorite headcanon Is being premature a headcanon? If so then yeah, preemie Kyle. Also that he's actually a psychic/reality warper but has no time for that and ignores it lol

Ike

First impression Baby boy, baby

Impression now The baby is disconcertingly right-leaning politically, needs more screentime lol

Favorite moment So many, everything he does in the pilot or Season 20

Idea for a story Uhh nothing, I don't think of solely Ike stories, maybe something where he and Gerald hash it out after Gerald tried to throw him under the bus

Unpopular opinion Idk?? Ok why do people ship him and Firkle, is it just because of age?

Favorite relationship He and Kyle have the best sibling relationship, mostly because they're the most focused on but still. I like that he's the moral compass for the entire Broflovski family

Favorite headcanon Cool uncle Ike! That's all I've got boss.

[siffrinsometimes]

Memory of Touch

[fatehbaz]

patience being tested. being forced by a bizarre unfortunate situation to adhere to university requirement technicality by taking this simple basic elementary "introduction to environmental history" class.

this class is from facilitators/program which do, like, "history of the American frontier" or "history of fishing and hunting" and still basically subscribe to that old-school twentieth-century idealization and celebration of characters like Teddy Roosevelt and reverence for a mythical arc-of-history-bent-towards-justice narrative of the often-clumsy but ultimately-benevolent US federal government and its mission to "save nature" through the miracle of "sustained yield," while heroic federal land management agencies and "heritage" institutions lead to way, staffed by exceptional individuals (appeals to nostalgia for the frontier and an imagined landscape of the American West; ego-stroking appeals to flattering self-image that center the environmentalist or academic). where they invoke, y'know, ideas like "ecology is important because don't you enjoy cross-country skiing in The Woods with your niece and nephew? don't you like hunting and fishing?" which makes it feel like a time capsule of appeals and discourses from the 1970s. and it invokes concept of "untouched wilderness" (while eliding scale of historical Indigenous environmental relationships and current ongoing colonial violence/extractivism). but just ever-so-slightly updated with a little bit of chic twenty-first-century flair like a superficial land acknowledgement or a reference to "labor histories" or "history from below," which is extra aggravating when the old ideologies/institutions are still in power but they're muddying the water and diluting the language/frameworks (it's been strange, watching words like "multispecies" and "Anthropocene" over the years slowly but surely show-up on the posters, fliers, course descriptions, by now even appearing adjacent to the agri-business and resource extraction feeder programs, like a recuperation or appropriation.) even from a humanities angle, it's still, they're talking at me like "You probably didn't know this, but environmental history is actually pretty entangled with political and social events. In fact, we can synthesize sources and glean environmental info from wacky places like workers' rolls in factories, ship's logs, and poetry from the era." and i'm nodding like YEP.

the first homework assignment is respond to this: "Define and describe 'the Anthropocene'. Do you think 'the Anthropocene' is a useful concept? Why or why not?" Respond in 300 words.

so for fun, right now in class, going to see how fast i can pull up discussion of Anthropocene-as-concept solely from my old posts on this microblogging site.

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ok, found some

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I think that the danger in any universal narrative or epoch or principle is exactly that it can itself become a colonizing force. [...] I’m suspicious of the Anthropocene as concept for the very reason that it subsumes so many peoples, nations, histories, geographies, political orders. For that reason, I think ideas like the Anthropocene can be a useful short-hand for a cluster of tangible things going on with the Earth at the moment, but we have to be very careful about how fluid and dynamic ideas become concretized into hegemonic principles in the hands of researchers, policymakers, and politicians. There’s so much diversity in histories and experiences and environmental realities even between relatively linked geographies here in Canada [...]. Imagine what happens when we try to do that on a global scale - and a lot of euro-western Anthropocene, climate change and resilience research risks doing that - eliding local specificities and appropriating knowledge to serve a broader euro-western narrative without attending to the inherent colonial and imperial realities of science and policy processes, or even attending to the ways that colonial capitalist expansion has created these environmental crises to begin with. While we, as a collective humanity, are struggling with the realities of the Anthropocene, it is dangerous to erase the specific histories, power-relations, political orders that created the crisis to begin with. So, I’m glad that a robust critique of the Anthropocene as a concept is emerging.

Text by: Words of Zoe Todd, as interviewed and transcribed by Caroline Picard. “The Future is Elastic (But it Depends): An Interview with Zoe Todd.” 23 August 2016.

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The Great Acceleration is the latest in a series of human-driven planetary changes that constitute what a rising chorus of scientists, social scientists, and humanists have labeled the Anthropocene - a new Age of Humans. [...] But what the Anthropocene label masks, and what the litany of graphs documenting the Great Acceleration hide, is a history of racial oppression and violence, along with wealth inequality, that has built and sustained engines of economic growth and consumption over the last four centuries. [...] The plantation, Sidney Mintz long ago observed, was a “synthesis of field and factory,” an agro-industrial system of enterprise [...]. Plantation legacies, along with accompanying strategies of survival and resistance, dwell in the racialized geographies of the United States’ and Brazil’s prison systems. They surface in the inequitable toxic burdens experienced by impoverished communities of color in places like Cancer Alley, an industrial corridor of petrochemical plants running along the Mississippi River from New Orleans to Baton Rouge, where cotton was once king. And they appear in patterns of foreign direct investment and debt servitude that structure many land deals in the Caribbean, Brazil, and sub-Saharan Africa [...]. [C]limatologists and global change scientists from the University of London, propose instead 1610 as a date for the golden spike of the Anthropocene. The date marked a detectable global dip in carbon dioxide concentrations, precipitated, they argue, by the death of nearly 50 million indigenous human inhabitants [...]. The degradation of soils in the tobacco and cotton-growing regions in the American South, or in the sugarcane growing fields of many Caribbean islands, for example, was a consequence of an economic and social system that inflicted violence upon the land and the people enslaved to work it. Such violent histories are not so readily evident in genealogies that date the Anthropocene’s emergence to the Neolithic Revolution 12,000 years ago, the onset of Europe’s industrial revolution circa 1800, or the Trinity nuclear test of 1945. Sugarcane plantations were already prevalent throughout the Mediterranean basin during the late middle ages. But it was during the early modern era, and specifically in the Caribbean, where the intersection of emerging proto-capitalist economic models based on migratory forced labor (first indentured servitude, and later slavery), intensive land usage, globalized commerce, and colonial regimes sustained on the basis of relentless racialized violence, gave rise to the transformative models of plantations that reshaped the lives and livelihoods of human and non-human beings on a planetary scale. [...] We might, following the lead of science studies scholar Donna Haraway and anthropologist Anna Tsing, more aptly designate this era the Plantationocene. [...] It is also an invitation to see, in the words of geographer Laura Pulido, “the Anthropocene as a racial process,” one that has and will continue to produce “racially uneven vulnerability and death." [...] And how have such material transformations sustained global flows of knowledge and capital that continue to reproduce the plantation in enduring ways?

Text by: Sophie Sapp Moore, Monique Allewaert, Pablo F. Gomez, and Gregg Mitman. "Plantation Legacies." Edge Effects. 22 January 2019. Updated 15 May 2021. [Bold emphasis added by me.]

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Geologists and other scientists will fight over [the definition of the beginning start-date of the Anthropocene] in scientific language, seeking traces of carbon dioxide that index the worst offenses of European empire which rent and violated the flesh, bodies, and governance structures of Indigenous and other sovereign peoples in the name of gold, lumber, trade, land, and power. [...] The stories we tell about the origins of the Anthropocene implicate how we understand the relations we have with our surrounds. In other words, the naming of the Anthropocene epoch and its start date have implications not just for how we understand the world, but this understanding will have material consequences, consequences that affect body and land.

Text by: Heather Davis and Zoe Todd. On the Importance of a Date, or Decolonizing the Anthropocene. ACME An International Journal for Critical Geographies. December 2017. [Bold emphasis added by me.]

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From Aime and Suzanne Cesaire, C. L. R. James, Claudia Jones, Eduoard Glissant, through Sylvia Wynter, Christina Sharpe, and so many others, critical anticolonial and race theory has been written from the specific histories that marked the Black Atlantic. [...] Glissant also reminds us, secondly, of how cunning the absorptive powers of [...] liberal capitalism are - how quickly specific relations are remade as relations-erasing universal abstractions. [...] This absorptive, relations-erasing universalism is especially apparent in some contemporary discourses of […] liberalism and climate collapse - what some call the Anthropocene - especially those that anchor the crisis in a general Human calamity which, as Sylvia Wynter has noted, is merely the name of an overdetermined and specific [White] European man. […] [T]he condition of creating this new common European world was the destruction of a multitude of existing black and brown worlds. The tsunami of colonialism was not seen as affecting humanity, but [...] these specific people. They were specific - what happened to them may have been necessary, regrettable, intentional, accidental - but it is always them. It is only when these ancestral histories became present for some, for those who had long benefitted from the dispossession [...], that suddenly the problem is all of us, as human catastrophe.

Text by: Elizabeth Povinelli. “The Ancestral Present of Oceanic Illusions: Connected and Differentiated in Late Toxic Liberalism.” e-flux Journal Issue #112. October 2020.

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The narrative arc [of White "liberal humanism"] [...] is often told as a kind of European coming-of-age story. […] The Anthropocene discourse follows the same coming-of-age [...] script, searching for a material origin story that would explain the newly identified trajectory of the Anthropos […]. Sylvia Wynter, W.E.B. DuBois, and Achille Mbembe all showed how that genealogy of [White subjecthood] was [...] articulated through sixteenth- through nineteenth-century [historiographies and discourses] in the context of colonialism, [...] as well as forming the material praxis of their rearrangement (through mining, ecological rearrangements and extractions, and forms of geologic displacements such as plantations, dams, fertilizers, crops, and introduction of “alien” animals). […] As Wynter (2000) commented, “The degradation of concrete humans, that was/is the price of empire, of the kind of [Eurocentric epistemology] that underlies it” (154).

Text by: Kathryn Yusoff. “The Inhumanities.” Annals of the American Association of Geographers, Volume 11, Issue 3. November 2020.

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As Yarimar Bonilla suggests in regard to post-Irma-and-Maria Puerto Rico, “vulnerability is not simply a product of natural conditions; it is a political state and a colonial condition.” Many in the Caribbean therefore speak about the coloniality of disaster, and the unnaturalness of these “natural” disasters [...]. Others describe this temporality by shifting [...] toward an idea of the Plantationocene [...]. As Moore and her colleagues write, “Plantation worlds, both past and present, offer a powerful reminder that environmental problems cannot be decoupled from histories of colonialism, capitalism, and racism that have made some human beings more vulnerable [...].” [W]e see that contemporary uneven socioecologies associated with the rise of the industrial world ["the Anthropocene"] are based [...] also on the racialized denial and foreshortening of life for the sacrificial majority of black, brown, and Indigenous people and their relegation to the “sacrifice zones” of extractive industry. [...] [A]ny appropriate response to the contemporary climate emergency must first appreciate its foundations in the past history of the violent, coercive, transatlantic system of plantation slavery; in the present global uneven development, antiblackness, and border regimes that shape human vulnerability [...] that continues to influence who has access to resources, safety, and preferable ecologies [...] and who will be relegated to the “plantation archipelagoes” (as Sylvia Wynter called them) [...].

Text by: Mimi Sheller. “Thinking Beyond Coloniality: Toward Radical Caribbean Futures.” Small Axe (2021), 25 (2 (65)), pages 169-170. Published 1 July 2021. [Bold emphasis added by me.]

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Indigenous genocide and removal from land and enslavement are prerequisites for power becoming operationalized in premodernity [...]; it was/is a means to operationalize extraction (therefore race should be considered as foundational rather than as periphery to the production of those structures and of global space). [...] Wynter suggests that we […] consider 1452 as the beginning of the New World, as African slaves are put to work on the first plantations on the Portuguese island of Madeira, initiating the “sugar-slave” complex - a massive replantation of ecologies and forced relocation of people […]. Wynter argues that the invention of the figure of Man in 1492 as the Portuguese [and Spanish] travel to the Americas instigates at the same time “a refiguring of humanness” in the idea of race. [...] The natal moment of the 1800 Industrial Revolution, […] [apparently] locates Anthropocene origination in […] the "new" metabolisms of technology and matter enabled by the combination of fossil fuels, new engines, and the world as market. […] The racialization of epistemologies of life and nonlife is important to note here […]. While [this industrialization in the nineteenth century] […] undoubtedly transformed the atmosphere with […] coal, the creation of another kind of weather had already established its salient forms in the mine and on the plantation. Paying attention to the prehistory of capital and its bodily labor, both within coal cultures and on plantations that literally put “sugar in the bowl” (as Nina Simone sings) […]. The new modes of material accumulation and production in the Industrial Revolution are relational to and dependent on their preproductive forms in slavery […]. In 1833, Parliament finally abolished slavery in the British Caribbean, and the taxpayer payout of £20 million in “compensation” [paid by the government to slave owners for their lost "property"] built the material, geophysical (railways, mines, factories), and imperial infrastructures of Britain and its colonial enterprises and empire. [...] A significant proportion of funds were invested in the railway system connecting London and Birmingham (home of cotton production and […] manufacturing for plantations), Cambridge and Oxford, and Wales and the Midlands (for coal). Insurance companies flourished [...]. The slave-sugar-coal nexus both substantially enriched Britain and made it possible for it to transition into a colonial industrialized power […]. The slave trade […] fashioned the economic conditions (and institutions, such as the insurance and finance industries) for industrialization.

Text by: Kathryn Yusoff. "White Utopia/Black Inferno: Life on a Geologic Spike". e-flux Journal Issue #97. February 2019. [Bold emphasis added by me.]

[kikker-oma]

Just when I thought I was starting to get burnt out from 3 straight months of continuous drawing I GET A SECOND WIND😈😈😈

muahahahaha this fandom has such a chokehold on me, its unreal

[plushie-lovey]

FINALLY!! At long last, I've gotten my hands on a Pumpkin Kitty, after a whole year of wanting and waiting.

Her name is Latte! (Short for Miss Pumpkin Spice Latte) You can also call her Miss Spice!

[theythemmer]

who up thinking abt the implications of dnp being controlled by and sacrificing themselves for demons

[yeetusthemighty]

The creechur

The silly (crazy? I was crazy onc-)

So I got inspired to finally post this guy because of this post by @z4n3jul13n (cool person you should look at their stuff)

full version with my doodles under the cut

(I have a whole au based off of this guy)

[crippling-pages]

reasons to ship Tiana (tam and biana) <3

@innereverblaze You asked to be convinced on which ship (Tiana or Dexiana) you should ship, and I am here convincing you to ship Tiana. This is also there for anyone else wondering why I ship Tiana or why YOU should ship Tiana. Thank you.

*cracks neck* Okay lets do this

Tiana is the pairing between Tam and Biana, and their ship is AMAZINGGG. These are just a few of the tropes in their ship

Grumpy/sunshine

Opposites Attract

Emo/Bright

Introvert/Extrovert

Popular/Outcast

These are their main tropes, though there are a ton of other smaller tropes too! (Ex: Rain/Sunshine, Sun/Moon, Talks A Lot/Will Listen (for me, I hc that that one can go for both).

Moving on to moments in the book; it's a fact that all the boys (Dex, Keefe, and Fitz) had/has a crush on Sophie. One after another, they each picked Sophie. All three of them. But, when we meet Tam, instead of falling for Sophie like the others, he notices Biana. The moment being when Keefe says, "The Foster Fan club is closed" or something like that, Tam blushes says he isn't interested, then proceeding to glance at Biana,which shows that he may be interested in Biana, not Sophie. He doesn't like Sophie right away like the others did, he sees Biana and he likes Biana. And Biana has always had a problem, not being noticed or seen. She was the 3rd child of a famous family; Alvar was the oldest and already doing great things (to their knowledge), and Fitz was a super powerful Telepath. And she was just Biana, at the time. When people saw her, it was for her status or her brother. And when Sophie came along (wanna be clear that I'm not blaming Sophie; forever a Sophie stan), everyone started to talk about Sophie, including her own brother and former crush. Now it seemed like one of the few parts of recognition she got was given to Sophie, the mysterious and multi-abilities girl with humorous talent, and everyone was thinking about her. And then we meet Tam. Like I said before, Tam takes interest into Biana. Before the crew officially meets Tam and Linh, Tam contacts Biana this time, to contact the others. He could've chosen any of the others, expect he chose Biana. And since then, he's always been Biana > Sophie.

And Biana does similar to Tam. When Sophie and Fitz go to visit Tam and Linh in the beginning of the book during Lodestar, they come back and Biana complains, saying that they were lucky and this implies that she wanted to see Tam again too. Later in the book, when Sophie, Dex, Fitz, and Biana go to visit Wylie, they spot Tam reading in the sitting area, and Biana changes her mind and goes to sit next to Tam. She smiles, and then says, I quote, "Plus, I haven't seen you in forever!" Note the fact that she says "you," not "you and Linh." Biana was excited to see Tam again that she decided to say there with him instead of doing what their original objective was. Tam replies to this, smiling shyly. After all, no one has ever wanted to be with him before. He was a twin and a shade as a child, and both were taken as bad things, so he probably was very alone as a child, with no friends or anyone other than Linh to talk too. But now, he sees Biana wanting to talk to him, choosing to sit down and catch up, saying upfront that she missed him. None of the other people in the group have really directly talked to Tam before (for the whole series, if I may add) that isn't for Neverseen or Black Swan related purposes. Continuing on, Tam replies to Biana (again, smiling shyly), "I hear we'll be seeing more of each other soon." (That could be recognized as flirting but I don't think Tam knows what flirting is during this moment of time so it's probably not). This suggests that he is actually excited and eager to see Biana more often, and as we know form Tam, he doesn't that excited often. From these moments and interactions, we can confirm that both Biana and Tam, ever since first meeting, find interest in each other and want to learn more about the other and want to see each other more, are are excited when they get to be together.

There are another handful of moments in Lodestar between them, but there are two more that stand out to me the most. (Three, technically). One is the oh so famous scene when the group is at the Exilium training area, and they're talking about Marella, and the Biana points out that Marella is staring at Tam. There are a few other comments by the others. Tam himself is surprised, by this, and simply says "Okay" and lets the topic go. Biana, however, does not. She says something along the lines of, "Okay? That's it? That's all you have to say?" implying that she's shocked that Tam doesn't have another say on this, and he starts blushing at Biana questions, since they hint that she's eager to know what he really thinks. This can also be seen as possibly jealousy; She sees Marella staring at Tam, and giving him a flirty smile; she'd want to know if Tam finds her cute in return, or that he might be interested in her, and the thought of that makes her jealous. Tam is saved from responding, because Linh speaks up and says "He doesn't like her. He likes brunettes." She says this smirking, and directing it at Biana. This may mean that she's trying to subtly tell Biana that Tam finds her cute, or pretty. Tam then says, "Gross, why do you know that?" Note that he isn't denying it. He isn't saying that he doesn't like them, he's asking why Linh knows this. Linh then says, "Because you aren't as sly as you think you are." This could mean that Linh has noticed how Tam acts around Biana. She noticed how he looked at her in Neverseen after being asked about joining the Foster Fan Club, then denying it. Maybe Tam has looked at Biana other times that weren't noticed by Sophie, but by Linh.

Another moment is when Biana tells Sophie that she and Tam found something in the Silver Towers. Sophie asks what she meant by her and Tam, since to Sophie's knowledge, only Tam was was working there, and Biana explains that she went to visit Tam early that day. This suggests that Biana wanted to see Tam again. As I said earlier, Biana was and is eager to see Tam again, and this is another moment being proof of it. Along with this bit, Tam had to spend hours in the Silvers Towers per day, so that means that Biana got to spend hours alone with Tam, and they probably had learned much more about each other and had gotten closer. Later, when they're in the Silver Towers, Biana says to Tam, I quote, "Go on. Show them how cool you are." Tam blushes at this. As the statement says, Biana thinks Tam cool, and that matches up with Biana wanting to spend more time with him. This is also another time Biana has complimented him (she once complimented him about his ability in Neverseen ,calling it an 'anti-vanish'). Tam is insecure about ability, hence likely being judge a lot as a kid and his parents being disgusted, and with Biana constantly telling him its impressive and cool, he starts to feel less bad about it and left insecure.

There are a few more moments in Lodestar, but for now I shall be moving onto Nightfall, quite possibly the book with the most Tiana moments, and I'll be doing them in bullet points so I don't have to write anymore paragraphs so it'll be easier for you to read. (Hence there are a lot, we'll be doing the biggest and my personal favorites)

Nightfall Moments (With page numbers)

On page 217, when Forkle takes about sending Tam and Linh back into Foxfire, Biana squeals and gets excited, saying that they'd see each other more, hang out during study hall and team up in PE. This is another moment showing that Biana gets happy and excited at the thought of spending more time with Tam.

Page 384, when Sophie, Fitz, Tam, Biana, Livvy and Grady are in the Forbidden Cities, Biana points out that a bunch of girls are staring at Tam. This is similar to what she did when Marella was looking at Tam.

Page 387, Biana tells Sophie that she and Tam didn't find anything in Candleshade; Candleshade is big, with hundreds of floors; it would take hours and many days to search, so that would mean that Biana and Tam would have spent even more time together, just the two of them alone. Again. Multiply times. During these times, they've definitely have gotten much closer and know much more about each other. (At this point, I feel like they've definitely gotta a crush on each other.)

Page 397; when Biana, Sophie and Tam are talking about what they should wear when sneaking into Nightfall, Sophie says "What about Tam?" and Biana replies saying that he'll be alright if he "ditches his shirt." This implies that Biana wants to see what Tam looks like without a shirt on; this is also likely Biana subtly flirting with Tam. Tam is embarrassed, and says that he'll get cold, ever the oblivious.

Page 442; Marella says that Biana is possessive of her brother, and Biana replies that she isn't possessive, and that she doesn't like it girls use her to get to her brother, since to them, Fitz is the best looking boy in the school. She then says to Tam, "Linh must know how that feels." And that suggests that Biana thinks that it is very good looking, or just as good looking as Fitz, and that a lot of girls would go up to Linh because they would want to get closer to Tam. This again, could be Biana subtly flirting.

Page 447; I feel like people sleep on this one a lot. It's when they're trying to figure out where to put Alvar after finding him in Nightfall. Tam says that Choralmere could work, since it be unexpected and the Neverseen wouldn't expect it. It's basically Tam subtly saying to Biana "I'll bring your almost dead brother to my abusive home for you even if I really don't want to go see my parents and house again but it okay because your more important and I care about you."

Pages 451-452; Possibly the most underrated Tiana moment in the series, and it's when Tam and Biana talk about the the cruelty of Tam and Linh's parents, and what their parents did to the them. Biana brings up how screwed society is, and how she feels bad about how her life is/was almost perfect, and that it's that way because of the "Vacker Legacy." She said that she wished she could like others in bad situations, like in the one Tam and Linh were in. Tam comforts her, telling her that she doesn't need to feel bad, saying that it wasn't her fault. He said that she didn't know how bad the world was, that not a lot of people do. This makes Biana feel a lot better, thanks to Tam. (Not gonna lie, Sophie third wheeled in this scene.)

Page 457; Another minor one, but while they were talking about Alvar, Biana's eyes start to tear up and she moves to go look at the portrait of Tam. She was in a room full of art, with many pieces and decorations, yet she decided to look at the painting of Tam.

Page 474; This is my favorite moment in the series (I made a post about it, you should check it out!). It's when Tam stops and notices that his portrait was re-painted, and Biana says that she did it. It shows how Biana disliked the portrait, and that she didn't believe it represented Tam right. Even though it wasn't hers, and that it belonged to Tam's mother, she spent time and repainted it. I feel this says a lot about what Biana thinks of Tam. (It was basically was: Biana: *repaints the picture of you your mom made because I didn't like it and because it wasn't truly you and you're amazing and should be recognized as you are now not as you were before or like how your abusive parents see you as*). Physic/Livvy also says "not to spoil the moment" implying that Tam and Biana were having a moment.

There are a few other, smaller moments in the book, but these are the biggest and main moments. To my memory, Flashback has two moments and they're minor, but still say a lot.

It's when someone says that Tam should look in Everglen for clues and stuff, but Fitz says that his parents might not let him because of Alvar. Tam replies saying, "Don't worry. Biana would let me in." That means, despite the Alvar situation, Biana would still let Tam inside Everglen to search around. She also decided to help him.

Around the end of the book, when they're fighting the Neverseen, Umber shoots an arrow of shadowflux at Biana. Not Linh, who we knows means a lot to Tam. Not Linh, who Tam would sacrifice his life for. Umber didn't shoot the arrow at Linh, but at Biana. This could mean that Umber sensed how much Biana meant to Tam, and that he might've cared for her as much as he did for Linh.

Flashback was more of a Sophitz/Sokeefe book, so there wasn't a lot. Moving on to Legacy, there were a surprising about of moments, despite Tam not even being there. (Note that I haven't read Legacy, and that it's my least favorite book in the series, followed by Stellarlune.) I don't remember much from Legacy, but I do now some vague moments, but otherwise these won't be that good and that accurate.

Biana has mentioned, a handful of times, about getting Tam back. When she can, she brings up Tam. This means that even when he's not there, she thinks about him.

There was a few scenes in the book where Biana says that she misses Tam.

There's this one scene, and it's when Sophie and Biana are talking, and Sophie's "Happy Shadow Thoughts" t-shirt is brought up. Biana says how she really wanted to get one. This suggests Biana saying that she wanted to have the shirt because it was about/related to Tam. (She trails off, after saying that she wanted a shirt of her own, a look of longing and sadness appear son her face.) Biana and Sophie also talk about Tam's kidnapping, and Sophie comforts her.

After everyone walks up from being knocked out during Keefe's transformation, Sophie says that Tam will help them, and when Biana wakes up, the first thing she says is "Tam?" Since we already know that Biana missed Tam a ton, one can only assume that one of the first things she did after Sophie left was go and hug Tam...

And that's that for Legacy. (I swear that only good parents in Legacy was when it was about Tam).

Moving on, we have Unlocked and Stellarlune. Unlocked has this one moment (though it is a VERY important one), while Stellarlune doesn't have any Tiana (or Dexiana) moments. Let's do Unlocked.

In Unlocked, on page 676, Fitz teases Biana for rushing up the stairs to Solreef. He says that "she's dying to see Tam" and then stage-whispers to Sophie "My sister' a fan of silver bangs." While this is two facts for the price of one (that Biana missed Tam a whole lot, and that Biana finds Tam cute and likes his bangs), what Biana says next is "Really, Fitz? You want to talk about crushes?" And this is important, because Biana, sweetheart, when the hell did Fitz mention ANYTHING about crushes??? Hmm? When?? *proceeds to jump up and down because this literally confirms that Biana has a crush on Tam* (Biana also then blushes bright red after what Fitz said, and I quote from Sophie, "which was either embarrassment or confirmation. Or both." And we all know that when an author says "or both" 98% of the time, it is both.)

And that is that. All (almost all) of the Tam and Biana moments in the series, along with in-depth analysis for each.

Furthermore (yes, I'm not done), let's talk about the characters themselves.

Tam's character is shown as the stoic, quiet, and 'emo' character (he isn't actually emo, though. He's just seen that way because of stereotypes). Biana is the sparkly, bright, and the princess of the series. Their opposites. But they also have a ton in common!

Both have siblings (trust me, you can relate about siblings)

Both have expectations from society and their parents

Both have once been hated on (Biana with the Alvar situation, and Tam... in general.)

Both are underrated and underappreciated people.

Both can be snarky at times.

Both are stereotyped (Tam being a Shade and people automatically assuming he's evil/not a good person; Biana being a spoiled princess because she's the daughter of a powerful family.)

Both are important and valuable people.

Literal icons. They're so icon.

BAMF duo.

Traumatized.

There are other kinds of similarities between the two, but these are the main ones.

Either way, both would bring out the best in each other. Biana's brightness would bring out Tam's, and Tam would help Biana become more confident with herself. They would help each other with their trauma, comfort each other, and just help each be the best they can be. Tam would be able to talk to her about the Neverseen, and his parents, and Biana could talk to Tam about her scars, and Alvar. They even each other out and help each other be better. All in all, they're good for each other and would make each very happy.

And finally, here are some my Tiana headcanons to show you how cute they are <3

Biana buys Tam bouquets or flowers. One time, Tam mentioned that he liked flowers, and the next day, she arrived at Solreef, blushing a very bright red, and handed Tam a bouquet. Linh had to deal with a happily dazed and swooning Tam for a full 15 minutes.

They have movie nights at Solreef. (Solreef has a mini theater for when they watch human movies.) They'll cuddle up on the couch together, laughing and having fun, and falling asleep.

They are the MOST competitive people you will ever meet. On their own, they're competitive, but together, oh boy is it dangerous to be on the other side. Almost everything is a competition. Sometimes they've had to sit out in Base Quest because they made it too much of a deal. Sometimes the crew does Tam and Biana vs. Everyone else (Tam and Biana almost always win).

Tam's ticklish. Like, really ticklish. Biana's one of two people who knows (the other is Linh, though she doesn't really acknowledge it anymore) and she 100% uses it to her advantage. If she wants to go shopping but Tam's being a bit lazy, she'll just carefully graze her fingers on his side... Or sometimes she just wants to see Tam laugh. It makes her feel good. She loves him laughing, and smiling, and giggling. She gets all warm and fuzzy inside. ...Or when she's just bored.

Tam designs and makes clothing for Biana. (I headcanon that he's obsessed with clothing and fashion, like Biana is.) After Biana got her scars, he promised her that he'd show her that they can and are beautiful. A few weeks later, he comes to Everglen, and hands Biana one of the most gorgeous dresses she's ever seen. It was because of seeing how beautiful she looked in the dress did she start realizing that her scars were a part of her now.

Physical touch is probably their biggest love language. Like, no matter where they are, they need to be in some kind of contact. Walking in Atlantis? Arm around waist. Black Swan meeting? Hand holding. Lunch with the crew? Hand on knee/thigh.

Tam has very unnoticeable freckles around his cheeks, and sometimes Biana will just stare at Tam from across the room, counting them. (To be fair, she'd stare at him either way.)

Biana gives Tam a ton of compliments. He's never really been complimented as a child, or even now, so when they start dating, Biana's 10x more open about complimenting Tam. She'll start casually calling him "pretty" or "amazing" or "literally the best person in the entire world" etc etc. And since Tam isn't used to it, he almost always gets all blushy and shy and giggly about it.

Every time Biana hears Keefe joke about Tam being 'shady' and 'darkness in the flesh' she's smirking to herself because the Tam she knows is literally the cutest, funniest, and most adorable thing she's ever seen.

Tam's 6'2 and Biana's just about 5'5 (when they're completely grown). Tam teases her about being short.

Tam takes Biana out on dates in Atlantis often. He knows how much she loves shopping, so they'll go to a few shops and look around, and he'll get her a few things.

They're the biggest on cuddles. It's the most important thing EVER to them. They won't (intentionally) do it when others are around. Neither of big fans of that much PDA. But when its just them, CUDDLES <3

Tam's ace, so kisses are rare coming from him, and it makes Biana flustered. Sometimes, he'll kiss her just to see her blush.

They secretly date for the longest time ever, and at one point, they just don't care anymore and are way more open about their relationship in front of everyone. And obviously, they don't tell anyone about the sudden switch, so everyone's like "??? What??? When did they get so close??"

They love each other so freaking much and I ship them so hard I could EXPLODE

And you have it <3 Why I ship Tiana, and why YOU should too <3 thank you.

(tagging because I can): @keefe--sencen @swans-chirping-in-the-distance @frizzle-mcshizzle @theleopardstalker )

[rinisdrawing]

workin’ on stuff… ✍️

[traybakedtoffee]

my little goober I did to add to my carrd. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out!

[achillesisnotcomingdown]

You said you wanted to talk about art so can i ask what your favourite painting/piece of art is and why? 👀

Someone already asked about my favourite paintings so im gonna talk about some more of my favourite art pieces >:) no architecture bc it gives me headaches

It's a surprise to no one, I rly love antique art. My favourite "type" of art is ceramic.

I have a soft spot for geometric era's ceramics.

For example the Crater of Hirchsfield.

What I love about it is that it shows 2 narrative scenes : The ekphora and prosthesis, during funeral rites.

I find it so mesmerising and interesting how they portrayed the complex scenes so well without the use of perspective.

In class,I love learning to "read" bidimensional pieces that have no perspective (Greece geo era or Egyptian art)

Ofc Exakias is the guy ever but if I had to choose only one of his works to talk about, it would be Ajax's Suicide so I can advertise for my friend's analysis (which makes Exekias already breathtaking work even better)

Apollo of Mantiklos

It possibly is the oldest representation of a god we've ever found. Everyone ik calls him ugly, but to me he's so friend shaped :(( <3

Owl arryballos

Look it's. It's an arryballos (little vase that holds oil) and it's. It's an owl. It's like 6cm tall. Do I have to say anything else ? It's so cute I cry whenever I think of it.

Terracotta army of Emperor Qin Shi Huang.

8000 life-sized clay status and yet none is identical to another. That's just insane. He made himself a whole army to follow him in the afterlife (as it was believed in China). Bro was the main character he thinks he is.

I mean, all of the mausoleum is insane. It's rly is worth looking into.

Couronnes votives mérovingiennes

Considered the most precious treasure from the Merovingian dynasty. I have nothing to say except that it's so beautiful. (There are many more pieces in the trésor de guarrazar)

Dancing maenad

I couldn't finish this without talking about any sculpture.

First, I'm biased bc I love everything related to Dionysus.

Then, what fascinated me as I was learning about ancient Greece's sculptures, is the evolution of frontality and rigidity. The first hard sculptures are struck in a strong frontality, and follow a stick canon, there is little to no hint of movement. With each century, the sculptors innovate to get rid of this (the legs become 2 separated pieces, one foot moves forward, the hips move, faces are no longer neutral...)

Scopas' Meanad is like the apogee of this path from rigidity. She's like tormented, in ecstasy. Each part of her body is violently (yet graceful) torn, the frontality and symmetry are broken from every angle.

[icarusticrat]

guys look argos drawing :)))))

Been wanting to draw JBA poses for a while because i love that show so much right now so here is the ref i used :D

[wafflinglumos]

Narcissa is one of the only people in her family to not be named after a star or constellation, her name is the female equivalent of Narcissus from Greek Mythology, and isn’t that poetic? Narcissa, who stuck to her family more than any of the others, was the only one to not be named from the family tradition.

Narcissa as Narcissus

[telekitnetic-art]

Have you seen the formline art in splatoon? It's present in a variety of salmon run decals and on some of the locker graffiti. Idk if the Devs just googled "salmon art" and got indigenous art and decided to copy it or what. Not sure how I feel about it personally.

Long post incoming, gonna put a break here. Also sorry for the late response, I wanted to take a couple days to formalize my thoughts together before responding fully.

I have, I remember noticing in 2018-2019 (when i first started playing splatoon 2) how much one of the decals/graffiti located on the ruins of ark polaris back in 2 sort of resembled a formline bear and salmon. (near the logo in this screenshot, I couldn't find a clear picture online)

Back in 2019, it was pretty easy to think of it as coincidence or a stretch for a comparison. But with splatoon 3's salmon run decals, the resemblance is far easier to see, specifically with the TS-ORBRS graffiti and the TS-SCHL graffiti.

(also this was the best image size I could find for the graffiti images, sorry)

A couple of the banners have the designs on them as well:

The website Sealaska Heritage has info such as textbooks and an online doc about formline art (specifically geared towards Haida, Tlingit, and Tsimshian nations' style) with lots of info about formline art, and the Seattle Art Museum website has an info sheet (with credits listed as being from the Sealaska Heritage site as well) breaking down some of the basic shapes of formline art.

with this chart, you can definitely begin to notice the similarities between the Salmon Run graffiti and formline art. the ovoids, crescents, and u-shapes appear noticeably in some of the graffiti such as ORBRS and SCHL.

For perspective, here are some formline pieces featuring salmon or fish from various Indigenous artists from various nations.

"sk’ug sdang" (Two Dog Salmon) by Robert Davidson (Haida)

"metal medallion", by Crystal Kaakeeyáa Rose Demientieff Worl (Tlingit Athabascan)

"Salmon People" by Alano Edzerza (Tahltan)

"Jumping Chum" by Stephanie Anderson (Wet'suwet'en)

"Salmon" by Art Thompson (Nuu-chah-nulth)

And that's literally just the surface of dozens of Indigenous artists from the PNW.

With these pieces, you can begin to see the resemblance that the graffiti designs have. A lot of the heads follow the pattern of utilizing ovoids for both the head and eyes, and u-shapes for the bodies and crescents to fill in specific areas are also common. For example, TS-SCHL has a small school of fish where the bodies are entire ovoids.

However, there are a couple flaws in the graffiti designs too. With a few of the designs, you can see they utilize the u-shape (see the formline shape breakdown from Sealaska again) in designs like TS-WHP and TS-SMFR. I can't speak for every Indigenous formline artist ever, but from how I've been taught to design formline art from my family, the u-shape should connect to the rest of the form instead of free-floating. I drew a quick example here:

you can see similar mistakes with a different kind of u-shape with TS-RLPL and TS-C0HK.

Another very specific mistake that takes a bit of squinting to make out is that ovoids are sort of top-heavy, for lack of a term I can't think of right now. The line or the area should be thicker on the top then the bottom. This mistake is frequent in the graffiti designs utilizing ovoid or ovoid adjacent face or body shapes, like TS-ORBRS, TS-C0HK or TS-SCHL.

Full disclaimer, I am not an expert at formline art. I've been practicing it under the tutelage of my aunt and father for about 3 or so years now, and there are definitely cultural variations that come into play as well. My culture's formline art style can look completely different from someone who is Haida or otherwise. This critique of the graffiti designs is based off my knowledge and skill at formline art, as well as critique and feedback that I've gotten from family. Formline art isn't just something you look at and replicate, there is a specific process of utilizing the shapes and negative space that you need to account for too. Some shapes have their own rules for how they're used as well.

Despite the beginner mistakes, the clear resemblances are pretty definitive proof that a good section of the sticker/graffiti designs for the salmonids are meant to be, or at the very least based off of or inspired by, formline art.

Splatoon's lore has a lot of elements of taking inspiration from real life culture (which is sort of one of the main elements of the story, the squids and octos are basing their society off long dead humans). Hell, Shiver and Frye are two prime examples of Splatoon working in real world culture into their setting and characters.

With that in mind, using an art style that's exclusive to an ethnicity of people as inspiration or baseline reference for the game mode that's all about taking natural resources from a species that in-game dialogue tends to treat as dangerous and lesser-minded is... not a good choice. Especially an ethnicity that has historically been ravaged and attacked by settlers for natural resources.

Now, technically if you do digging into lore for salmon run, you can find out that the salmonid are not as simple-minded as the dialogue in-game (I am staring directly at the deep cut big run announcement dialogue we've gotten so far -_-) makes them out to be. The salmonids do trades and commerce with the octarians for equipment and gear. That's why they have such technically high tech gear, like the scrappers with their shields that actually resemble octarian shields and the flyfish with their missiles and flying aircraft. That's also why power eggs show up in the story mode; they're from the salmonids' trades with the octarians.

So the salmonid could technically be as just as smart as the inklings, which is why the dialogue and some of the portrayals of the salmonid are confusing and contradictory (shiver's dialogue from the first big run, that one promo picture of an inkling walking a smallfry on a leash????). I think a good bit of the fanbase sort of thinks of the little buddy we get during the game as a pet, and I'm sure that much more of the fanbase/playerbase doesn't really care about the lore whatsoever. Salmonids sort of have a similar vibe to me as hilichurls from Genshin Impact, where the lore tells you that they're smarter than people assume while NPCs talk of them as less intelligent monsters. And you're also caught in this paradox where killing/fighting them feels morally wrong but the gameplay loop has you continuously doing that while also telling you on the downlow that you should sort of feel bad about it.

Rassicas did a really good video on translating salmonid lore from various interviews, which is where I learned a lot about the salmonid lore that doesn't really get explained/brought up in the game.

The usage of formline art in Splatoon has me sort of mixed on my opinion, because besides using an Indigenous art style for an enemy species that are considered lesser in intelligence by the NPCs, Indigenous art and culture as a whole has suffered a lot under colonialism. I don't know how much awareness whoever is reading this has about Indigenous history and colonialism, but Indigenous culture as a whole was banned in North America by the respective governments from being practiced by the respective cultural groups. Things such as ceremonies, regalia, and even practicing formline art were banned from being used by Indigenous people. Non-Indigenous people however were free to use it, which is why a lot of bastardized versions of Indigenous regalia and culture exists. You can see it in non-indigenous spiritual practices utilizing Indigenous practices and terminology like spirit animals and dreamcatchers, and sports teams utilizing Indigenous culture in its labelling and mascots. That is where cultural appropriation comes into play. And before I get anybody commenting about this, the salmonid formlines don't count as "cultural appreciation" because as far as the info available is concerned, there wasn't any Indigenous people that were consulted for the designs. And even if there were, I again have mixed feelings about Splatoon utilizing an Indigenous art style as a design piece for an enemy character in the franchise.

On another note, this isn't the first time Indigenous cultural appropriation has popped up in the Splatoon franchise. There was actually a headgear that was unreleased in the first Splatoon game called "Warrior Headdress", and you can guess what it looked like.

Yeah. That was all levels of yikes and I'm thankful as hell that it didn't make it into the game (technically it's not in the game as a wearable item, but you can spot it at the very back of the headgear shop ingame)

So Splatoon has utilized Indigenous culture as inspiration beforehand with the games, so it's not much of a stretch anymore to think that the salmon run graffiti designs were based off formline art or was an attempt at formline art.

I'm not really sold on the idea that the salmonid are meant to be representative of Indigenous people though, nor do I believe that utilizing formline art for the salmonid was a malicious decision. But it was a slightly ignorant decision at best, because again using Indigenous specific art for a species of enemies that gets fought for their natural resources and is referred to by some of the NPCs as basically being lesser-minded animals is really not a good decision.

This whole thread is not meant as a guilt trip for anyone who likes the salmonid lore, has bought any of the salmonid graffiti stickers, or enjoys salmon run, nor is it an accusation of the devs for maliciously misusing Indigenous culture. I actually really enjoy salmon run for it's PSP and concept, but this design aspect gives me mixed feelings as an Indigenous person. And to be honest it's hard to label intentions or the thought process because there isn't any info available on the development of salmon run and those graffiti designs specifically. So it's hard to know if the devs employed an Indigenous artist for feedback or if they indeed just looked at some formline art of salmon and tried to replicate it or used it as inspiration. I'm inclined to believe the latter judging by the beginner formline mistakes seen in some of the designs. There is an art book coming out soon for Splatoon 3, so maybe that will give more info.

To wrap this all up, I don't think there is really anything to be done about the designs. The game has been out for a while and I don't know if the game would change the designs at this point. I also don't think this should stop people from buying the sticker designs in game or playing salmon run. However, it is important to learn about the context of these designs so that you know why they exist and why they can be harmful, and so devs and creators can avoid making the same mistake in the future, and so Indigenous issues with cultural appropriation can be made more aware in the public space and not be ridiculed by non-Indigenous people. And again, I am just one Indigenous person so there may be other opinions from other Indigenous people on the graffiti designs and how they should be handled or viewed.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading and have a good day!! Be sure to check out some actual Formline art made by Indigenous people, like the ones I listed near the top of the post!

[deadsince1973]

What happened to Despicable Me?

(SPOILERS for Despicable Me 4 ahead)

I went to see Despicable Me 4 today, and it was easily the worst of the franchise.

I think there were two overlapping problems. The first one is that there were too many characters and too many storylines, and they all felt truncated. The second is that the storylines themselves, truncated or not, were bad. Let's look at the storylines that we got.

First, the big point of this movie: Gru has a baby son now. The arc with the baby is that the baby doesn't like Gru, but then by the end, the baby learns to love his father. That is such a stupid storyline! Babies are not capable of determining who they like and who they dislike. That's just not how that stage of brain development works. I admit, I may not be the target audience of this movie (even though I should be; more on the below), but babies in movies are, in my opinion, annoying, and not at all cute or funny. I heard once that "all animals in movies act like dogs", and not just real dogs, but like idealized versions of dogs, who can think and emote like humans. I actually love that trope, because I love the fantasy that my pets or an exotic pet it would be cool to have could be a true friend to me, as an equal who could understand me and respond to me with intelligence and insight. I can only speculate that many people enjoy having the same fantasy about babies; all I'm certain of is that this storyline did not work for me at all.

Then there's the cluster of storylines making up the premise that Gru's family is now in witness protection. -Margot is upset about leaving her friends and having to start at a new school. She gets bullied on her first day. And that is the last we hear about that. -Edith and Agnes go to a karate class. (For the entire day? Why didn't Edith have to go to school?) She breaks the teacher's toe. And that's the last we hear about that. -Agnes is upset about having to leave Lucky, her pet unicorn/goat from Despicable Me 3. That does get wrapped up in the end, but it's absent from the middle of the movie. It's not even really an arc or a storyline, more a callback to the last movie. -Agnes is also upset about having to use a fake name in witness protection, because that's lying and she doesn't want to lie. That's potentially a good storyline because it would result in actual character growth, but it also goes nowhere! Agnes never uses her fake name, and that has no consequences (other than setting up Edith's story). -Lucy's new identity is a hairdresser, and she burns down the salon while working with her first client. The client later tries to chase her down in the grocery store for the sake of a wacky chase scene. Lucy and the girls escape, and we never hear from the injured client again. -Gru wants to make friends with his new neighbor in order to prove that he's not awkward. He plays tennis with the neighbor, but the game is interrupted by the arrival of the antagonist. The neighbor is never seen again.

Even though there isn't even enough room in the movie for all the family members, they still added a new character, Poppy. Poppy is the neighbor's teenage daughter and an aspiring supervillain who blackmails Gru into helping with a heist. Why? What does that have to do with either of the main two plots? (It does tie in with them, but it was entirely unnecessary to them.) Poppy later makes friends with Gru's daughters, but then she disappears during the climax, and she's only seen again during the ending montage, when we see that she got admitted to the villain school. What happened to her pet honey badger? We'll never know.

The A-plot, the one that's set up in the first scene, the one that drives Gru and his family into witness protection, the one that the movie ends on, is about Gru's high school bully. Really though, other than being the catalyst for putting Gru's family in witness protection, he has precious little role in the story. There's a reason this story is so far down the list. There's also yet another new character, Principal Ubelschlect. She's the boss fight of the heist Gru and Poppy do together, but, since the heist was pointless, she's a pointless character too. (This is how Poppy technically ties into both of the main storylines, by the way. Gru brought his son along on his heist, so the heist related to the bonding arc Gru had with him. But the heist was not the catalyst for the baby finally bonding with Gru, so what was the point of bringing the baby along at all?! And when the heist goes awry and Principal Ubelschlecht catches them in the act, she contacts the bully to join her in attacking Gru's safehouse. But there are any number of ways that the bully could have found Gru's location without making a whole other involved storyline that rivaled the main storyline for screen time! That should have been a single story beat, not a lengthy sequence.)

Of course, there are also the cutaways to the minions' wacky antics. This is why I say I should have been the target audience for this movie. I love the minions. Obviously this is a very small sample size, but it seemed to me that I laughed more at the minions in this movie than anyone else in the theater. I mean, if that's an accurate perception, then why were any of those other people even going to see this movie? Despicable Me is the minion franchise. If you don't like minions, this movie isn't for you. And if you do like minions, then this movie should be for you. Anyway, they split the minions into two groups for this movie: exactly the same symptom as the rest of the characters had! One group had a recurring gag about a minion being stuck in a vending machine. Okay, that doesn't need to be that developed. But it was entirely unrelated to the other minions' storyline, which felt weird! The other minions' storyline was the "Mega Minions", the ones in the promotional material. This storyline was about five minions who got superpowers and tried to become superheroes. It had nothing to do with any other plotline whatsoever. It felt a little bit like a retread of the mutated purple minions from the second movie, but the mutated minions actually connected to the main story of that movie!

Altogether, this movie just felt cobbled together from a bunch of disparate ideas. The animation felt as good to me as ever, but the writing and the design felt like it was rushed out the door. It felt like a bunch of people had got asked to write an idea for a funny thing to do with the characters from this franchise, and then they just put a bunch of those ideas in without considering how they would weave together into a single coherent movie.

And all of this is just my analysis of the problems with the stories. It doesn't address some of the other, smaller problems I had with the movie. -The baby was named Gru, Jr. I HATE when characters have a baby and they name one of them "Junior". Not only does it smack of a lack of creativity, but it also really shows how little the writers value the character. This might seem a little hypocritical after I implied above that babies aren't even human and complained about how there shouldn't have been so much of the baby in the movie, but I think calling a baby "Junior" exacerbates the problem. It's implicitly telling me, the viewer, not to care about this character as his own person, but to think of him as an extension of his father. Why should I care about him then?

Speaking of wanting less of the baby in the movie, I just want to add that part of the reason why I dared to have higher hopes for this movie despite the presence of the baby in the marketing is because of the Shrek movies. A friend of mine told me the other day that they had noped out of the Shrek franchise when babies became involved because they feel the exact same way I do about babies in media. But I don't really think that's fair. Shrek the Third and Shrek Forever After did an admirable job of keeping the babies on the periphery. I'm just bringing this up to say that that was very much an option for this movie too. They could've had their cake and eaten it too.

Almost as criminal as the poor writing was the poor design. The main villain, the bully, was cockroach-themed. That's not bad, per se, but compare him to the villains from previous films: Vector, who had both direction and magnitude (how memorable was that line?!); El Macho and his pet chicken; Bratt and his 1980's theming; Scarlet, with her feminist bent and perky personality, and her husband Herb who was delightfully 1960's; and the Vicious 6, all of whom had amusing puns for names: Jean-Clawed, Nun-Chuck, and Svengeance being the stand-outs for me. I guess, on paper, a cockroach theme isn't any worse than any of these other villains, but Maxime really had nothing else going for him other than his French accent. He didn't have a funny name, he didn't have an over-the-top personality, and he didn't have a particularly memorable style.

Finally, and here's where I'm fine with being disagreed with because it's just a matter of taste, but: as a general rule, I don't like bathroom humor in kid's movies. There were two jokes that were just about an animal pooing, and, worst of all in my opinion, was one of the English words in the Minionese. My friend and I had been discussing whether the one Mega Minion had "a cone head" or "was a missile." Well, one of the other minions shouted "suppository" when it jumped off a rooftop. So that clears that argument up. -_-

I just think this is a real shame because, while the other movies weren't flawless (except possibly for Minions), they all had a charm to them and at least a few good jokes. I'm also the type of person to find the storylines of Despicable Me 2 and 3 painful, but at least there were enough moments that I found sweet or endearing in those movies that I still enjoyed them more than I expected I would. This was the opposite, because the only moment I found charming at all was when the camera did a fly-through of the AVL office and we saw the minions participating in a wide variety of activities. I'm always a sucker for that.

This honestly makes me reluctant to hope for a future for this franchise. :/

[joocomics]

Okay so, for that Gunil pic I was imagining how he looks like the perfect boyfriend when you're around friends and the other members or just out in public. So sweet and doting. Always has to be touching you in some way, in an non sexual manner, just to feel you. Never takes his eyes off you and fondly smiles at you. Overall he's such a gentleman. But when you're in bed together, he's completely different. His dominant side comes out. He's so rough with you, treating you like his own personal whore (affectionate.) Doesn't hold back from calling you that, probably calls you a slut too. Teases you for not being able to talk properly when he's slamming into you. Says the most absolute filthiest things. Tells you to scream his name when you're cumming. After he's made you cum multiple times, he's back to being his sweet and attentive self. Gets you anything you need and asks if you're okay. Holds you in his arms as he whispers how well you did for him. He definitely melts if you fall asleep on him right away. He feels proud of himself if he's fucked you to sleep ❤ - 🍑

cw: hard dom!gunil, cussing, face slapping

oh, but he IS the perfect boyfriend; the perfect gentleman who’s fully aware you’re in love with his duality that fulfills all your desires, even the ones you didn’t even know you had. gunil treats you like a princess, and always makes sure you have everything you want - some may say there’s a chance of spoiling you too much, but he doesn’t care. so it’s only fair that you show him how grateful you are, right?

“thank you for taking me out tonight, i had a great time,” you tell him after you two get home and you prepare a vase for the beautiful bouquet of flowers he got for you. “thank you for being the best boyfriend..” your whisper clashes with the sounds of his belt getting undone, as he instantly takes the lead when you brush your lips against his. you gasp, wondering how even his soft sensual lips can hold such power.. nevertheless you love it, and it always makes you anticipate how he’s going to dominate you next. you’re already making noises just from his kissing when you feel his fingers crawl up the back of your neck only to pull on your hair. “down.” he demands and you listen

you’re still on the kitchen floor - messy hair and smudged makeup, red knees and breasts sticking out of your dress, - when a puddle of your drooling forms around you causing gunil to chuckle at the desperate sight. “aren’t you gonna ask if i’m gonna fuck you or not?” he squats, lifting your chin with one finger, looking into your dazed eyes. “what is it? too pathetic to even ask for it? tsk, what kind of a whore you are then…” wordless, you only press your lips gently against his palm while he cups your face. he reacts to the kiss by giving you a quick slap that rings harshly in the kitchen. “better start talking, pretty one. i want you to fuckin’ scream my name when i give you my cock, okay? that’s what sluts are for.” you nod obediently, letting out a raspy yes, watching him stand back on his feet. “i’ll take you to bed now cause you did well with your dirty mouth,” he smirks hearing you thank him while getting up with wobbly legs. “don’t dare go silent on me again, got it?”

despite being gunil’s whore at this hour of the night he still lifts you up and takes you to the bedroom while holding you in his arms