#this stick makes me so sad bro :[ hes just some teenager fucking going through it

[mimicmew]

The world in your hands

[nessinborderland]

I’m in for a drabble or hc

How about Niragi ending up with a random kid in the borderlands because they decide to stick to him because he’s the first person the kid sees after a few days? The kid’s kinda sneaky and get’s into the beach almost unnoticed. Almost, lol. Hatter has soft spot for kids(- at least in my head???) and after the kid said, that they followed Niragi, Hatter kinda forces him to take care of the kid? Like, he kinda takes the big bro role quite serious after some time?

… is that too detailed? You can also change some things if you like! for example, making the kid a teenager, or if the kid is the reader or if its just from his perspective :D

-☁️

Okay this is cute as hell 🤧

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Niragi couldn’t believe his luck. This couldn’t be happening. He barely noticed the two figures behind him as he left Hatter’s meeting room, cursing the man that had just ruined his life.

“Mom says swearing is bad,” a high-pitched voice ringed in his ears, making him roll his eyes and take a deep breath before he got punished for shooting a child. He knew Aguni wouldn’t let him get away with infanticide.

“Oh yeah,” Niragi said in a fake whining tone, “and where the fuck is your mommy now, uh?”

He instantly regretted his choice of words as the kid took on the expression of a sad puppy, pouting and sniffling as his eyes filled with tears.

“I don’t think you’re the best choice when it comes to taking care of children…” Last Boss said beside him as he watched the kid cry.

“No shit,” Niragi retorted with a sigh, already feeling a headache coming; he hadn’t signed up for this.

This was all Hatter’s fault.

He was minding his business, scavenging on an already ransacked department store when the kid just… popped up out of nowhere, for all he knew. He had ignored the boy – focused on finding a very specific shirt – but the kid had stalked him like a pro. He was so good, in fact, that he had followed him into the Beach.

The little shit. Now he was forced to look after him like a goddamn babysitter.

“Hey, kid,” he called the boy, semi-gently flicking his ear when his only answer was a cry, “Hey, hey, hey, no crying… Oh, for fuck’s sake… hey, want cake?”

He slowly stopped crying, looking up at Niragi with hopeful eyes. The man wondered how long the boy had wandered alone through the Borderlands, most likely without food. He didn’t appreciate how that thought made him feel things he didn’t want to feel.

“Chocolate cake?”

“Sure,” Niragi said with a shrug. “C’mon.”

He started walking in direction of the kitchens, planning on feeding the boy and leave him there. Hopefully, someone more motherly than him would adopt the kid. He just knew he wanted nothing to do with him.

What he wasn’t expecting was to feel a small hand brushing against his fingers. He looked down with wide eyes to see the boy practically jogging beside him - trying to keep up with his long legs - hand in his. He closed his hand in a fist - hoping that the boy would let go - but he kept his small hand around his, walking like he hadn’t noticed a thing.

“Hey kid,” Niragi called, “what was your name again?”

“I’m Suguru,” he exclaimed, looking up at him with a smile. “What’s yours?”

Niragi scoffed, shaking his head. What a fucking coincidence.

“We have the same name, kid,” he said, “but you can call me Niragi.” then he looked over his shoulder at Last Boss. “Hey, what do you know about taking care of children?”

Last Boss shrugged, “Just feed them and play with them sometimes, I guess?”

Niragi nodded; it wasn’t much different than taking care of a dog, then. He could do this.

Maybe.

[yeehawfolk]

Hi! I think yr totally right about Felix's teeth probably not being great and how he and the rest of the crew should have more scars! Do u have any other lil appearance HCs for him/the whole gang? (:

OK! SO! I have a Lot of HCs about the crew, appearance-wise, anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love their canon designs, but I feel like they didn't utilize "Halcyon is fucked" enough with your companions? If that makes sense. I'm going to break this up character by character, so it'll be an easier read!

Also, I'm gonna put a TW on this for slight self harm on this?? It's not emotionally motivated at all, it's like when you'd compete to see who can get the gnarliest eraser burn in middle school, but nevertheless, I want to warn y'all ahead of time, it's on Ellie's part.

Parvati:

-Honestly, her eyes are gorgeous. They're brown, but an amber kind of brown, and very bright.

-I personally HC that Parvati chews her nails when she's nervous, so they're always nubs and usually pretty dirty, bc Mechanic and all.

-Her hands have faint scars from nicks and burns from working on machinery. The skin on her hands doesn't scar easily, but she still has a few gnarly scars from particularly bad burns or cuts that she wasn't able to take proper care of.

-Constantly has bruises of unknown origin on her arms and legs. She bruises very easy, and always has, which is kind of precarious when you're a mechanic.

-This might already be canon and I just haven't noticed bc I'm using the Switch version, but I HC Parv has some freckles sprinkled around her face. Not a lot by any means, but I HC she gets frequent sun when she's working on certain parts of the town, and freckles are a bi-product of that.

-She has a couple small scars on her face; one just below her eye on her cheek, and another on her chin. I like to think she fell on her chin, and the other was from her first project that blew up in her face, literally.

-Her skin is just a bit ashy because she hasn't had access to a lot of good lotions over the years.

-Despite taking a shower every morning, she accumulates grease smudges and dirt from her plants on herself very easily. She cleans up for her and Junlei's dates, but for casual visits both don't really bother. Sometimes they make a game of smudging each other with grease while they work and by the time they're finished their faces look like they were going for war paint.

-I like to think Parvati and Junlei eventually wear rings with each other (like, years down the line) and when Parvati gets deep in thought, she rests it against her lips. Junlei does something similar by turning her ring on her finger.

-Parv has ok teeth, not like great, but she takes pretty good care of them, even if sometimes she has to forgo it for a day or few while out with the Captain.

-When she's in Edgewater, she's always skinny, and if you squinted you probably could pick out a rib or so. But after she moves in with The Captain, she gains weight, and finally has the little pooch of fat that you're supposed to have around the middle. Ellie helps her keep up with nutritional needs (what you can get in Halcyon, anyway) and gets very proud when she makes her goals.

Felix:

-This boy has horrible teeth. His sweet tooth + being an orphan in the Back Bays didn't leave much time for proper teeth cleaning. He probably never really had enough bits to get toothpaste with, either.

-Oh, boy. He has scars galore. Some are from scuffles (he has some on his back from when he was a kid and used to get in trouble for stealing) but a lot are also from getting burned by pipes, or jagged metal. A fair few are from him doing dumbass things in his teenage years ("I wonder what would happen if I heat up these rounds of light ammo with a flamethrower??") because you can't tell me this boy didn't do dumb things like every teenage boy did but with more disasterous results bc SciFi.

-His nose has been broken quite a few times, so it's crooked in a couple spots.

-Can frequently be found with bloody knuckles just because he forgets that punching someone with a mask over their face really isn't the best idea. This eventually culminates into him making the "Millstone Drop-Kick!" his go-to move.

-This isn't exactly appearance related, but I HC Felix has a fucked back from his life of hauling heavy boxes. It doesn't help that he drop kicks literally everything that moves tho.

-Probably has chronic pain in his hands from his hands getting crushed by boxes at some point or another. Several of his fingers are crooked from being broken and improperly set. His bones probably aren't the best bc of poor nutrition growing up, either, so they're a little easier to break.

-Just. Me thinking about Felix in his 40s, or even early 30s: Honey, you have a big storm coming.

-This is also a little random, but I like to think that it takes a long time for Felix to grow any kind of facial hair (he has chronic babyface) so he's super proud of his scruff.

-Max: That's peach fuzz. If that.

-Felix: Leave me alone you big hairy bastard, just bc you have to shave like every other day to keep a clean face doesn't mean all men do!!

-(He's just a bit sensitive about his facial hair)

-(He one day dreams of growing a glorious beard like Sanjar's, but it would take him like 50 years)

-(Shut up Max one day he'll have an amazing handlebar mustache and you won't be laughing then)

-I have no idea if piercings or tattoos are a Thing in Halcyon (probs not, honestly, but I can dream) but if they are, he tried to pierce his ears by himself once, they got infected, and he got really sad when he had to let them close. The marks are still there but the holes have closed by now.

-ELLIE PIERCES HIS EAR AND HELPS HIM KEEP IT CLEAN

-Felix is strong, but he's skinny and gangly as all hell and it's hard as fuck to get him to gain any weight, mostly because he still has his habit of eating only what he needs and stashing the rest. It takes him a while with the crew to get over that, and when he does, he gains a healthy amount of weight around his middle. Ellie teases him a bit, but is 1,000x happier that he's no longer damn near a walking skeleton.

-Listen. Ellie and Felix are bros I don't make the rules. She denies it but she would kill for Felix.

-Usually has slight dark circles under his eyes, because he has nightmares sometimes and can't sleep.

-His eyes are really, really pretty. Like. Super fucking pretty. He has long lashes and they sparkle when he smiles. His eyes are hazel like Max's, but more on the brown side, with streaks of green radiating out from the pupil.

-Speaking of smiles. He has the goofiest and sweetest grins around. A little self-conscious about his teeth, but honestly that doesn't stop him from laughing and smiling with everyone. He has a couple broken teeth, but honestly it just makes his grin a lil lopsided and cute.

-He gets the Worst bed-head. It stands almost straight up in every direction, but it's really easy to tame. Mostly because he just runs his hands through it and calls it a day.

-He found Max's hair gel once and went Ham. He used the whole can sticking his hair up into a mohawk, and proceeded to parade around for Ellie and Parvati. Then bolt to his room and lock the door when Max shouted his name from the bathroom. Max's hair was out of whack for like. A week. He kept blowing it out of his face and Felix and Ellie would giggle like madmen when he did.

-*BANGS FISTS ON TABLE* FELIX IS BABY! FELIX IS BABY!!

Max:

-My MANS

-Listen, I am extremely gay for Max. This needs to be known before I continue, because I have a metric fuckton of Max HCs.

-So, first off, Max takes VERY good care of his appearance. Like. Insanely good. His hair is always perfectly held back by a moderate amount of gel, his nails perfectly trimmed and cleaned. He keeps a clean-shaven face.

-But don't let that fool you, Max can and will get down and dirty when need be, he just doesn't care to stay like that.

-Quite a few scars from his prison and Tossball years. But because of the clothes he wears you wouldn't be able to see them easily. Mostly on his back/sides, though he has a couple on his torso and legs.

-The Captain calls him Bigfoot because his grows hair really fast and his arms and chest have some pretty thick hair. Max is very confused, because he personally doesn't think his feet are that big.

-Not an appearance HC per se, but he smells like soap, aftershave, and books.

-When he doesn't gel his hair, it falls in his face constantly, and it annoys the fuck out of him.

-Fuckin ripped bro. Just. What the fuck. Why is a priest this fuckin shredded. Why make my gay little heart ache more than it already does, Obsidian??

-Despite his arm muscles being like. Huge, he still has a healthy layer of fat over his middle, mostly because being an OSI Priest, he got a little bit better nutrition VS. literally all of Halcyon.

-When his knee gets Bad (like hiking through Monarch with the Captain) he has a slight limp? Barely noticeable, but you can tell he's not putting weight on it. I HC its an old Tossball injury (that might be canon, I haven't played in forever).

-Its hard to tell in the different lights of the game whether his hair is Black or Silver, and I like to think he's greying, but not fully grey yet. He can have a little hair color, still. As a treat.

-Fuckin no lashes to speak of. None at all. Baldy eyes. Its the only part of him that doesn't have really thick hair and ngl he is very salty about it. Tho his actual eyes are very pretty; they're hazel with a lot of green. He has a darker ring on the outside and flecks of brown in them.

-Has very good teeth, whiter than most of Halcyon's because of the OSI providing for him.

-Broke his nose once during Tossball, though he was able to get it set alright. Slight crook in the bridge of his nose.

-He has a lot of those moles from his face scattered around. Particularly his shoulders and back.

-Also have you seen his fuckin canon thighs??? Bro. They could crush a watermelon. Once again, I must say, what the fuck, why is this priest so fuckin shredded.

-Actually takes his physical health very seriously, so I like to think he's in great shape for his age. Seeing him in some of the canon outfits though makes me more inclined to think that's canon.

-Sorry, I have thought about this A Lot, and the gay jumps out of me sometimes.

-A fair amount of scars on his arms. Not as many as Nyoka, but a little bit more than Parvati.

-Has calloused hands, but they've softened over his years as a priest.

Ellie:

-Now I feel like Ellie wouldn't have many scars that she didn't let scar up on purpose to give her an edge. They're essentially superficial; they look cool but didn't do any real damage.

-Also, her skin is very pale, so she doesn't scar easily anyway.

-Though she does have some, and they're more recent. A couple of gashes on her arms, and a bullet wound in her side. She's proud of them.

-The dark circles under her eyes are because she likes to stay up late at night. Sometimes she contemplates her life, but she doesn't like it, and usually doesn't bother too much.

-Her lashes are very thick and full, and they compliment her eyes very well. Her eyes aren't exactly ice blue, they're a bit darker, and have real pretty lighter streaks in them.

-Yes, her lips are naturally that color. Good for picking up women, bad for looking intimidating to marauders.

-Really soft skin, she's always had access to good lotion. After she leaves Byzantium, she purposely looks a bit more grimy than she did then, which is easy to do because of her skin tone.

-Has a few moles and freckles, but not many, mostly on her shoulders and back. She was inside a lot prior to her leaving Byzantium.

-Her hair doesn't really sit down when she sleeps, but it does lose some poofiness, so she has to meticulously push it up in the mornings.

-Not quite an appearance HC, but I feel like when she gets comfortable with ADA, she gives her compliments. Stuff like "Your screen is very bright today, ADA!" ADA does the same thing. "And your hair is looking very bright as always, Dr. Fenhill."

-Muscular, but lean, and puts on weight a little easier than others, so she wouldn't look like she could kick your ass without her pirate get-up, but she could 100%, no holds barred kick your ass.

-Very good teeth. Despite wanting to look like a gnarly pirate she takes dental care very seriously. Tho she thinks about getting punched in the mouth occasionally so she could like break off a piece of her tooth. Not the whole thing, just enough to make her look tough.

-Idc if piercings and tattoos aren't a Thing in Halcyon, Ellie has pierced ears. Three in each ear, and I like to think an eyebrow and maybe nose ring. She doesn't wear them when she's in Dangerous Situations because she firsthand had to fix ears that had their earrings ripped out during rich catfights that she does NOT want that to happen to her.

-She also has tattoos covering most of her back, and some of her upper arms. She got them "illegally" (meaning it's illegal to The Board, but the Groundbreaker doesn't really give a shit) on The Groundbreaker and she's proud as fuck of them.

-I have Feelings about the missed opportunities for illegal tattoo/piercing parlors. Like I know there's not a lot of self-expression to be had and no Art aside from fonts, but c'mon. Humans have drawn on their skin since the beginning all around the world and we WOULD find ways to do it again, even if it's needle-poke tattoos.

-Anyway, back to Ellie.

-You ever hear of a "lighter tattoo"? Basically, you heat up a lighter and then stamp the hot metal into your skin and it makes a mark in the shape of the lighter head. If you get it hot enough and hold it long enough it can scar. They have a similar thing in Halcyon with Plasma Cutters. Instead of Stab, you heat it up, turn it off, and press the blade to your skin and it pretty much scars within a couple seconds.

-Ellie 100% did a few of those when she was in Byzantium as like the "hahaha edgy" thing that teenagers do.

-Like I know technically kids aren't around but... bruh... you can't tell me that teenagers in a SciFi setting wouldn't do dumb ass shit like that.

-Ellie is honestly the baddest bitch and I love her, ok, she just reminds me so much of of those high school delinquent tropes in 90s movies

Nyoka:

-SO I HAVE SOME FEELINGS ABOUT NYOKA'S CANON DESIGN... IN THAT SHE'S ESSENTIALLY A MONSTER HUNTER BUT SHE HAS NO SCARS!

-Listen, ok, she would 100% have a lot of scars from her life on Monarch. I share some HCs with @nyokaacore in that she has three scars over one of her eyes, and a few others around her face, like on her lips.

-The bulk of her scars are on her arms and body, though, as she usually is able to get the Canid or Rapt off before they get to her face.

-I like to think the scars on her eye are from Freida, the first Rapt she ever killed that's taxidermied on her wall.

-But she has a lot of scars from Raptidon claws and Canid mouthplates, sprinkled with some Manti burns and burns from Rapt spit.

-She also has her fair share of bullet scars on her, and definitely has some patches of skin discoloration from incidents regarding the sulphur pools. Chemical burns are a bitch.

-She's tall, and not exactly curvy? But broad. Big shoulders, wide hips, sturdy legs. Looks like she could kill you, could actually kill you alignment.

-The sand and sulphur in the air plays Hell on her skin, so she's got some old acne scars and places that scarred up into moles on her face. Has an issue with dry skin.

-Her skin is also pretty oily, and she washes it when she can, but water is usually better spent being drunk than washed with. However, she does carry a spare bottle of non-drinkable water to wash Rapt acid off in emergencies, so sometimes she'll pull from that to wash her face with.

-Big hands, calloused, pretty scarred up from her time on Monarch.

-I also like to think that she can tell you stories about most of the scars she has, lmao.

-Her nose, like Felix's, has been broken quite a few times and is pretty crooked.

-Most often, you see Nyoka with a slight sunburn on her face. It's hard to see, but her cheeks are usually warm to the touch.

-Her teeth aren't the best, but she does take as much care of them as she can out on Monarch. Still pretty yellow with some cavities, but not as bad at Felix's.

-Honestly the dark circles around her eyes are usually because she doesn't sleep a lot. She has dreams about CHARON, and that's not her favorite thing to do.

-At a pretty healthy weight for Halcyon, and ofc, has muscles as big as your head.

-Surprisingly soft hands, though.

[typinggently]

So what do you think Feral™ Bruce’s relationship with his kids would be like? Somewhere in my bones I feel that he’d have a better relationship with all of them than in canon, but I wonder what you think! Love your blog, btw!!!

Hello Love!!! Thank you so much for your message! 🥰🧡🧡

I took some time to reflect on this and really think it through, since there are two problems: 1) I only really know about the “fandom favourites”, as in Dick (who I know most about since I used to read the 50s comics as a kid), Jason, Tim, Damian. And thus I felt a little unqualified since I know so little about the girls etc. 

2) Rob is 33, which means the Robins would all have to be VERY young. Realistically, I guess, we could assume timeline-wise Jason would’ve died not too long ago? But I’m just going to ignore realism. So, without further ado

Feral Bruce and his Robins

Dick: Bruce adopting Dick makes sense to me, since the grief over his own lost family is so fresh in his mind. He’d lay eyes on this heartbroken child and immediately jump into action. However, due to his age and personality, this wouldn’t have a TRACE of a father/son relationship. Not even close. They’re chaos siblings, with Bruce as the messy rat and Dick as the adoring golden boy. He’s super proud of his older bro and tells others about how cool he is, which everyone 100% buys because it’s Bruce Wayne, of course he’s super cool. They don’t know that Dick’s definition of cool is “he slipped on his own 3 hour old puddle of sprite and did a funny backflip”. Now - as they grow older: I say they’re rather close due to their shared history(&shared grief), and they’re in a way rather similar. Similar fighting styles (both acrobats and very graceful, while Dick is more of a show-off while Bruce is more erratic), similar sense of humour and taste in films etc. I also think they don’t have a dramatic falling out, Dick just fucks off. Bruce is definitely sad about it, but I think he respects Dick’s need for personal growth since he himself isn’t exactly an overbearing cuddly person and most likely shut himself away for a few days at a time in the past. Idk. I think they get each other really well. So yeah, their relationship is def better!!

Jason: Bruce sees a kid trying to hotwire the batmobile and recognises a kindred spirit. Jason pros - he has a lot of that chaotic energy Bruce has. Jason cons - he lacks the grace and self-control. In general, I feel like pre-Joker Jason and Bruce had a rather good relationship as well. Once again not really that father figure thing, though. But Bruce moved up from”chaotic older brother” to “cool older brother” - since he now has a bit of a grip on how to treat teenagers, even though Jason doesn’t take to his rules as well as Dick did (I see many a person interpret Bruce as kind of lenient and clueless, letting the kids run wild and free, and while I agree with the base levels of that, I’m p sure that Bruce in any version is so built on self-control, that he’d impose that on others as well. Strict meal plans, exercises, etc). Jason’s death is a thing I really don’t know how to handle, because Bruce has such a thin skin. Frankly, I don’t know how he’d survive something like that. Grief is terrible and heart-breaking, and I’m not sure how well-equipped Bruce would be. It’s a very, very dark time. Red Hood is another thing. Bruce can barely fight Harvey, so I don’t see how he’d manage to interact with Jason. I honestly think he’d completely pull back from him. I don’t know how they’d heal from that and I’m not sure how Bruce would deal with the core of Jason’s anger. Fighting him is one thing (which he absolutely cannot do), but understanding him and trying to mend what’s broken is another. Very difficult. Very heartbreaking.

Tim: that would just be a mess. There aren’t any real descriptions of Batman, because his contact with civilians/the GPD is minimal and can you trust villains? They say his fighting style is erratic, but can you trust them? Can you believe Riddler, madly gnawing on his hat, when he tells you Batman threw a comically large plush bat at him and then bonked him over the head with a “bat-knocker”?! What I’m saying: Tim figures the “I love the Ritz. I just wish they had soda-fountains. They have the room and people would love it. A fountain of sparkling-cool orange soda in the hall, catching the light and making those nice ambient sounds. That would be glam. What was the question?” - act is an act, but he’s not at all prepared for the actual Feral Bruce Experience™️. He drops himself off on Bruce’s doorstep and holds his whole “I know who you are” speech until Bruce opens the door and the guy is wearing a kilt and a “world’s #1 Bat” shirt, drinking hot beetroot juice and greets him by saying “how the fuck did you get past the sprinklers?” In short - Tim didn’t expect to be the responsible one here. In general, I feel like they’d get along well, still, considering Bruce is so enthusiastic about learning and bettering himself. However, I do feel like his erratic rat-nature would clash with Tim now and then.

Damian: Bruce’s first instinct after hearing he’s a father is to learn how to raise a baby, so he panically throws together a huge pile of Infant Care books from the library, Damian (10+) standing right next to him. That said, he’s very concerned about being a good father figure and raising Damian right. He loves the other boys, of course, but he never really saw himself as their father. This is a new situation for him and he doesn’t feel like he’s up for it. So now he tries to be a good influence, which results in him knocking on their doors at 1:30am all “remember not to drink coffee past midnight!” while holding a pitcher with Earl Grey.

Which brings me to the end note: Bruce is actually a great influence, he’s just not aware of it. He enforces healthy eating habits and a strict exercise routine. He’s got great posture and reminds his boys to sit/walk straight and stretch. He’s very cultured and studious in a very un-pretentious way, setting a great example for the boys. 

But most importantly - he’s so true to himself in such an unapologetic way that everyone else feels free and encouraged to be themselves, too. While his eccentric behaviour could be interpreted as self-centred narcissism, he makes it extremely clear that he cares greatly about each and every one of them. He’s incredibly compassionate and they all know that he loves them dearly.

They all learn a lot from him when he’s not looking, and whenever he notices some little piece of evidence for just how much he’s influencing them, he turns into a mess, eating carrot sticks in the kitchen at 2am with big teary eyes while Alfred makes him tea. (Alfred is the real father figure, of course, but he’s insanely proud of Bruce for handling his responsibilities so well and doing so good with his flock of Robins)

I’m very, very soft. Bruce deserves the world. He loves his family a lot, even though he seems to take them for granted or forget about them at times. And they love him, too, although he’s a bit strange.

(So, to make it short: they DO have a great relationship. Just a tiny bit rocky at times, but I feel like this Bruce is less emotionally repressed and thus a lot of issues would fall flat? They know he cares)

[spacegaywritings]

Hello, we are the Neighbours - 1/2

Heated Afternoons

Summary: Virgil and Remy have been close for years. Remy is rather shy with new people but supposed to introduce himself to the new neighbours - of course Virgil is around to help his friend! Turns out, the boring old neighbours have a hot adolescent and fae are pretty hot. Virgil uses she/her and he/him. Remy uses he/him. Emile uses they/fae.

tags: a LOT of swearwords, edginess, Teenagers scare the living shit out of me, weapon mention, hints at violence, slight creep factor, being salty at authority, lovingly insulting one another, food, piercings, kisses, bold moves, innuendo, visual puns, cigarettes (no smoking!), edibles, mentions of getting high, marijuana (implied), saying mean things about your mom but not really meaning it bc social anxiety ah Tumblr: next // ao3: all / 1 / 2 . // masterlist . My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me Story under the cut:

“I can’t believe she is doing that. This little bitch. I swear to fucking everything unholy, I will move out the second this stupid university accepts me.”

 Virgil glanced at his friend, the long man fidgeting wildly as he fumbled with his house keys.

 “You got them or not?”

 The addressed adult shot him an angry glare.

 “Of fucking course I do! Do you take me for an idiot, too?”

 The smaller one shrugged, his black and blue beanie moving a bit as if to shake itself in denial at the mean sound.

 “Do I look like I care that you are a crazy dog? I kinda stopped at some point, if you did not notice it before. Just for clarification, Riri.”

 Virgil flicked the rainbow button on his beanie heartlessly.

 “Can we go before your mom comes back and makes us bring these shitty biscuits, too? “

 Remy snorted in offence and pushed the little box with his elbow, not even sparing it a glance.

 “What-fucking-ever. Let us just go. Can’t take this shit with these two treating me like I am five. I am literally done with school and just waiting for an acceptance letter, I am even working and saving up and they still treat men like I am some fucking toddler who cannot even walk straight!”

 His friend rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the counter.

 “Yo, I am willing to babysit you, stop acting like that. I am allowed to baby you!”

 He heard a hissing sound when Remy sucked an annoyed breath through his teeth. His rainbow knee socks contrasted greatly with his sour mood. His whole outfit was about the opposite of everything people would expect from him. Except for his black combat boots. Those looked exactly like his knife-stabbing mood towards the whole world (well, safe for his friend Virgil. She would be safe for now.)

The young adult looked like the embodiment of sunshine and rainbows with the bright pair of knee socks hugging up his strong legs. His plain black skirt was lacy and lazy in the way it fell over his thighs. Askew, like the neon pink bow in his shoulder-long hazel hair. A white shirt saying “Sleep” in holographic block letters completed the odd look he offered. It was so huge, it was wearing Remy more than he wore it.

 Virgil shrugged, her unicorn/bunny onesie (“Virgil, this shit literally has a fucking tail like some of Bambi’s followers, not like a proud, rainbow-shitting creature to break laws and eat tears with supernatural ‘fuck you’ magic!” - “Shut up, maybe it was declared a unicorn because maybe this is what it feels like you intolerant moron”) called “Philly” largely encompassing her frame. It was white and pink - the little tail was as rainbow as the rest of his heart and mind.

..Even if nobody could see that.

 “You will get the biscuits if you are fast enough with me. Get your ass going!”

 Remy pocketed his keys at last and stuck his pink tongue out at his friend.

 “You were literally the one to keep dragging this whole thing out”, Virgil reminded him patiently, her hand digging into the soft pockets of whatever synthetic cheap-ass shit her comfortable dream suit was made of.

“You know, you got me and I look nice but I will fuck up a dude if he fucks with my little baby.”

 Something about her voice seemed to drop into a level of threat. Something... just something in his voice was so morbidly dark, it gave Remy chills for just a moment.

 He muttered, walking to the door.

 “I will not take you to the ice rink anymore if you flash a fucking knife, you silly bunnycorn.”

 Virgil followed, by now two unwrapped lollipops in hand. He stretched one into her friend’s direction, barely nudging his lips. It was coke and almost as dark as Remy’s raven, makeup on his mouth.

 “Bunnycorn sounds debatable. You may use it and I will refrain from stabbing you. Also, you know I dropped my butterfly into the fucking gutter. I will never get it out. Can’t exactly tell the cops I found an illegal weapon in there but want it out and in my possession. Too suspicious. They will get me locked up or some shit. I am not 13 anymore and they will fuck me up.”

 She shrugged.

 “Whatever. Eat the pop, bro”, he encouraged as she slipped the sweet ball on a stick into his mouth. The unicorn ripped the door open and swung it to the side so violently, the hinges cried and her body leaned in to follow the force her hand needed to contain.

 “Ooops, you are an eager piece of shit”

 Virgil shrugged and jumped down the little set of stone stairs. It was like these blocks of cobble stone. They were uneven and ugly. Truly hideous and useless.

A ramp would have been so much better, especially considering those were the flattest two steps of shit he had ever seen in his life. At least then Remy’s family would be able to get Remus in without carrying his stupid wheelchair - or needing to buy a fucking lift or whatever they usually did. Stairs sucked anyway. This house was on the fucking ground, not in the sky.

 “I fucking hate your parents sometimes, not gonna lie, dude.”

 Remy shrugged at that.

 “Feel that every day, pal.”

 His friend smiled patiently as he closed and locked the door behind him, careful not to break it further. The door was okay but Virgil*s consistently energetic treatment was not.

 “Okay, whatever. Let us get to those neighbours. I am ready for the real shit going down!”

 Virgil hopped on her bare feet, the jingles on her earring dancing and chanting happily.

Suddenly, she stooped and flinched, her hands immediately flying to undo her buttons.

 “Yo- Yo what are you doing? Stop ch- WH - WHAt the FUCK ?!”

 The small social reject nudged the other and pointed her wet lollipop at him. There was judgement in his determined eyes.

 “If you wanna introduce yourself to the neighbours, you gotta establish dominance. We are gonna out-weird these boomers! This is the perfect strategy to make sure they are gonna leave ya and your dummy thicc brother alone.”

 The unicorn happily danced.... or just prepared for a violent attack at something.. someone. She was charging her energy. The ketchup paint on her pink undershirt assembled to say “Tell Jesus to suck harder”. It was framing the upper and lower parts of the shirt, perfectly framing the upside-down paragraph on it.

 “We are going. I want my stupid biscuits because your mom does not use raisins. She used fucking sprinkles and chocolate. This is my fucking aesthetic.”

A shrug accompanied the statement.

“Who likes raising biscuits anyway, I mean - really? Those are sad ones and if you don’t have any better, you take it but we are all striving for higher things in life.”

 Remy rolled his eyes but softly approached his friend. There was something vulnerable in his step when he offhandedly looked at Virgil, no scowl or complaints hiding away the feelings in his face.

A little bit of pain seemed to paint his features, exceeding the simple level of discomfort. He stretched his arms out for a hug.

His trusty idiot of a friend immediately pulled him in, her arms wrapping around his middle. A sigh tickled his neck.

 “I will fight your feelings”, he mumbled.

The taller one shook his head before shrugging.

“Just stay...”

 The sentence broke off.

Maybe it was just Virgil but these two words were just a part of so much more he could and should have said.

 Instead, the tall dude stretched his shoulders enough to tug his arms away from Virgil’s strong hug. It was nearly suffocating but not him, his bad feelings.

Virgil had the most grounding hugs Remy had ever felt. This could be all due to the bunny costume he was wearing but this was not the first time Remy got her embraces and suddenly felt wiped clean of all the bad feelings.

 A small smile dared to fly the corners of his lips upwards.

 “If she bitches around, we will dip. I will doubt it, though. She’s gonna be busy with Remus because fawning over him will never get tired.”

 He shrugged. It was quick and unconvincing.

After the shrug, his shoulders still seemed pulled down enough to be identified as “burdened”.

Virgil noted it with an eyebrow raise. She was too wrapped up around the lollipop to turn this matter into a long and wild evaluation of this family and all its issues.

They were better off than his stupid shit relatives anyway.

 “Hey, hottie, did I tell you about Logan?”, he asked instead. Something in Remy seemed to drop and he brushed against Virgil’s side as he took one of her hands and squeezed it.

 “No, tell me while we walk. What about Logan? Who is this even?”

 Remy was tame when grounded. He was so tame and nice when you were nice.

The man was calm when you showed him it was okay to be calm and right to be composed without imposing it as standard he had to follow.

 “Okay, listen!”, Virgil started, his naked feet jumping into motion and leading them on to their destination just a few houses down, “so, my sib came out, right? And..”

 She made a wet sound, a squelching could be heard as she pulled the lollipop out for a moment. Remy was so close, he swore he could hear the tiny gremlin swallow. He chuckled and leaned his head against hers for a bit.

It was more symbolic than practical and he immediately retreated after Virgil pressed her head’s side against his.

 “And they were looking for a name. Just a few minutes before I got my ass over to yours, they came up to me and said they wanted to use “Logan” as preferred name, so I was like “huh? But that is your name, sibby” and they groaned but took it as acceptance.”

 The taller one smiled weakly.

Their destination came into view.

 “You are a good sibling, you know? Logan can be happy to have you throughout all of this.”

 Virgil shrugged as she dropped the shrinking lollipop into her mouth once more. He pointed at the moderately-sized house. It looked sort of regular, one big VR still parked in the front.

 “This one?”

 Remy’s eyebrows narrowed, huddling together. They were slightly plucked but still looked natural. Somehow, Virgil felt proud of this.

A nod indicated yes at last. It felt annoying - how could a nod even express annoyance?

The unicorn snuggled closer.

 “Enjoy your coke, bastard.”

 The younger one groaned, rolling his eyes as he - once more - used the stairs.

Virgil scowled at them while the male glared.

 “Literally, stairs are a pain and we should fucking bomb them away, honey.”

 Remy squeezed his hand.

 “Uh.. I mean,,.. fuck stairs but.. um”, he looked down, his eyes showing him just how much he was standing on a stranger’s doorstep, “fuck.”

 Discomfort pooled in his hear, making him feel cold all of a sudden. It tickled in him but in a way that made him feel like he was going numb.. maybe he would just faint.

Instead, he kept stuttering about the door, just repeating the nonsense echoing through his burning mind

 “It is okay, Remy. I can kiss it away!”

 She grinned at him and leaned in. The stuttering stopped at once.

Wide eyes stared into the curiously baby blue orbs Virgil’s face held.

Coming closer and closer and-

 “Yo, I really appreciate the company, but I really just wanted to go back inside.”

 A voice like dark sandpaper rubbed between them, sawing their intimacy away and making Remy jolt in surprise. Hot, bloody anxiety flooded back into his consciousness whilst Virgil closed the distance between them as the unicorn/bunny stepped back before her tall baby.

 “Okay, bitch, that is it, I will fucking FIgthT yOU!”, he screeched, bouncing up.

 Remy acted fast to pull the furious ball of rage back into place. At least the unicorn was so small, he could easily contain the raging bean.

 The new voice was more than voice, it was a person. Evidently, they already looked like friends, despite Virgil’s sudden threats and Remy’s gut-freezing anxiety. The styles seemed to unify them. They all looked like a bunch of social rejects old people would frown upon and little kids would point at. Brave teenagers would be scared and young adults would try to dominate then.

 A person with an actual body stood there, dismissively leaning against the nearby wall of the house. A beanie adorned their head much like Remy’s and in contrast to Virgil’s messy ginger head.

Skin darker than a slight tan, eyes green like a miracle and so deep, deeper than the forest and every treasure.

A few strands of different colours could be seen to defy the beanie, They proudly stood out in the sunny light of a comfortable Sunday afternoon. Remy could identify a colour akin to pumpkins and different shades of green as if sculptured by nature personally.

 Unnatural colours for hair but still, the stranger wore them as if this was the most natural of all occurrences.

Was this a bit of light blue? It contrasted with the row of shiny piercings in the stranger’s ears -- they all looked like little cartoon items of food? And that nose ring was to die for...

 “And you wanna fight me, why?”

 Virgil hissed, his jaw snapping together but only biting air before the newcomer.

 “Ff-f-ucking ffforg-get it”, Remy jumped in, still mesmerised by how ripped someone’s jeans could really get. They were not revealing but fitting with a bit of space while being scratches and patched at any place he could identify.

 Virgil came back to life at this comment, vocalisations of all the threatening kinds were thrown like from a feral animal.

The “suck the right butts” shirt with a human cartoon butt next to a burning cigarette seemed to tickle Virgil a bit into a level of slightly less intense readiness to throw hands. At least the weirdo had some style.

 “Alright. Would you step away, then? I want to go back inside and eat my pancakes.”

 Something within Remy died as the person said that.

Oh fuck.

Everything that did not matter seemed to matter an this point.

 “You are the new neighbour?”, Virgil blinked dismissively and waved, “overrated.”

 The stranger clicked a tongue impatiently, one blonde brow quirking up in question without him repeating his words.

 “That b-bitch is on fucking coke o-or some ssshit! Don’t mind him!”

 Remy pushed Virgil to the side, his arms still wrapped around him as to not let her fall down these miserably sad stairs.

 Virgil huffed.

 “Coke? You fucking picky shit, You can have cherry if you want it! I took it only because I love you more than I like coke flavour and you fucking thank me like this? I wanted to be nice and you are being a dumb butt again!”

 He pouted.

 Emile looked as uninterested as ever. If there was a sleeping stone on the porch, maybe there would be a chance this person would be more interested but right now? Not so much. The person was unimpressed, forest eyes blank in apathy.

 “Listen, you two are very entertaining but -”

 Remy cut this speech off in a.... honestly, there was no words for what exactly this special piece of human did at this point.

For some anxiety-logic reason (and for this “reason” only), he smacked Virgil’s furry thigh and let out an inhumane screen before pushing himself in front of the door and pushing his hand between him and the new neighbour. Or whom he deemed to be that person.

 Virgil was next to him instead of before him and looking less smug or feral, just a tad confused at best. A reaction like this had her blink and swallow the cherry flavour of her saliva that came from the generous lollipop in her mouth.

He could not complain about that.

 Well, maybe Emile would complain.

 “Excuse you?”

 A blonde eyebrow rose up. The stranger looked at Remy as if he was nothing but a mortal insect to the mighty deity this person was.

 Remy was not shaking but his heart was uncontrollably sweating, swirling around his chest cavity and basically running in circles at an immense speed. Great panic ruled his existence and left him gasping and shaking his head for a moment.

 “I- I am bit- REMY!”, he started, “I AM REMY”

 He basically screamed his personal introduction at Emile. Panic regulated the tone of his voice and make his further screeches even more incoherent as Virgil just stood by, awestruck and frozen at this... this event of uncommon occurrence.

 Honestly, she would lie if she claimed to have ever seen this sort of behaviour before. This was pretty much a first after considering just how anxious Remy was around strangers. Maybe the gayness in the air was just overriding the last bit of influence his braincell had?

Virgil appreciated the feeling but did not share the sentiment (which is a lie). He really did not (LIE). He REALLY did NOT!! (cheap lie. Read: he very much did but pretended not to care as much while his eyes tried not to shape into tiny hearts for how attracted she was to this new person).

 Holy shit those two needed some more social contact other than each other.

 “I am Emile. Fae/faer and They/them. I am not not really-”

 Fae sighed, interrupting faer own sentence.

 “My grandparents lived here for longer. I am the only new one here. I came here for a summer job only, so you don’t have to deal with me for long. You can just go back and make out in front of your own house now.”

 Virgil blinked, underwhelmed.

 “Shut up.”

 Remy immediately drew in a gasp of air. It was loud, audible and more than just intrusive to anyone on the street. This sound could have been heard by everyone in the entire neighbourhood.

 “Virgil, you insolent prick, shut up yourself, you wanted to be nice and help! You are not getting knife privileges, you .. you.. sucky.. fucky.. me-mean...”

 He stumbled over his own words, suddenly finding himself at a loss of words as he was faced with the situation he was in.

This was too much. What was this even?

This was absurd, this is what it was. It was absolutely confusing and weird and not as it should have been. He should have given some stupid biscuits to some stupid neighbours and just bad-mouthed his mom for a bit longer because of how salty he got at the forced social interaction. Instead, he was caught in the gay panic that was this.. this fucking mess!

 “If you don’t say “yes”, tell us to leave”, Virgil growled as he leaned in.

Emile did not back away even by an inch.

 Actually, fae even leaned in, fae leaned in so much, fae could whisper right against Virgil’s lips. The thought of a word was lost on their lips as they moved and pronounced just enough of a “yes” for her to shoot forward and press their lips together.

 Within seconds, hands got caught up in fingers, in strands of hair and articles of clothing.

Virgil brushed over the beanie, trying to find something to hold onto as he pulled down the giant of a faeling for a good session. There was no real grip there. Instead, she opted to do the one good thing she could be doing instead.

 The unicorn tugged Emile down, pushing them against the door - right next to Remy who squealed in reply at the sudden crash.

They groaned into the kiss, hands looking for more roughness in the endlessly silkiness of a onesie. The push against the door was not even minded with as much as a mental note or even ...anything, really. The groan might have been nothing but pleasure.

 But as soon as Virgil, The Storm (TM), has come, as soon he left again. She pulled away, clicking her tongue.

Somehow, she must have lots her lollipop.

If he had even half a mind for anything but getting more of Emile, she might have realised how she had dropped it in the moment their lips had crashed. How else would lips get that close in the first place? Lollipops were a good way of policing closeness - too good. They prevented kisses too much.

 Virgil stepped back a bit, looking at Emile and Remy in satisfaction. Her curious eyes switched between one tall to the other tall pal.

 “So... you two gonna shake hands now and say the whole neighbourhood shit? I did not come here for nothing.”

 She shrugged, looking away as if to look for something. Sure, she found it on the ground. The pink ball of lollipop she had dropped in the excitement of sweeping in idiot up in a storm of a sudden kiss, the winds of passion and electricity of pleasure and excitement meeting.

 Nonchalantly, the unicorn picked up the piece of trash and threw it into the trash in front of the house.

All the while, Emile and Remy watched her quietly.

 “I told you to do the societal bullshit thing, so we can be nice and steal your biscuits Remy’s mom made.”

 She rolled her eyes.

 “I am Virgil, by the way. I am a unicorn and you would not dream to dream of me even in your wildest dreams.”

 Fae nodded.

A new sense of knowledge - respect - was in their violently green eyes.

Remy simply shook his own head into waking his brain up.

 “Remy, he/him. Virgil uses she/her and he/him.”

 He cleared his throat, voice weak but not exactly recovering even after his little treat to his throat. He swallowed his coke-flavoured lollipop liquids.

 “Sorry about ..”, he gestured towards his friend who cuddled up next to him as if he had done nothing more but given her mom a hug or whatever trivial thing like texting a bro, “that.”

 Virgil huffed but said no more, only leaned into his side and sighed, sounding surprisingly void of energy.

 “Do you want to come inside?”

 Remy flinched at the question. The hot neighbour was pulling this fucking beanie off their head, revealing their colourful hair. Green and blue, orange-ish and purple were easily spotted in the mess of a dyed paradise. Faer hair were curled like clouds. Exactly like clouds. It was probably the most balanced state between curled up and simply wavy hair.

 Virgil shrugged.

 “Nah, did you not hear us? We came here by force because we hate life but adults think you gotta be nice to new neighbours. So imma go to Remy’s and eat these fucking biscuits his mom made for you because they will be great and you cannot have them. You can dream of them.”

 She hugged him as if to prove a point.

 The neighbour shrugged.

 “Just wait a minute. I want to give you something. You guys.. you guys need it - you deserve it, you know?”

 They pulled the beanie back over their head.

 “Re- Remy? Can you move, I gotta get inside for a moment.”

 Fae gestured towards the door and Remy quickly pushed against Virgil enough to straighten up his slouching friend a bit and give way to Emile.

The feral idiot seemed.. pretty much asleep at this point. Was there any point in even trying to wake her up? Probably not.

 Anyway, the deity of a neighbour disappeared inside for a few moments and quickly came back with a little box.

 “Biscuits”, fae stated rather bluntly. So much about them was just so blunt and straightforward without being straight in the slightest.

“I don’t think mine are better. I know it.”

 They winked before disappearing into the house again, the door clicking shut with a loud and definite sound. For now, this was the last bit of interaction they would be able to squeeze out of faem.

But..

 Virgil shook awake at the sudden impact of the door slamming back into its frame and pushing the lock until it clicked and closed as it was supposed to act. Instead of staying awake, his eyes switched from shot-open to rolling up to reveal white only until his lids had the mercy of blanketing these pools of eyes.

Her head travelled upright against the door with a dull “donk” and immediately lost all support from her neck, therefore rolled back against Remy’s shoulder.

 “Virgil! Virgil, hey! Food!”

 The bunny mumbled and turned closer to hugged Remy from the side. His arms reached around the entirety of the barely dressed man, a few curious fingers started tugging at his short skirt.

 “Virgil!!”

 The naughty friend groaned at the loud noise as if she had room to complain with even a bit of ground to stand on.

 “Nooooo”, he whined. His body pulled back, forced by the magic of friendship to respect the boundaries of Remy’s super important message or whatever the shit,

He just wanted a nap and biscuits, man.

“Fuck..fuck you..mm”

 Virgil was still busy rubbing her eyes when the taller man pointed at the box.

 “We got more biscuits for you”, he informed the feral cryptid, “and it is in a box - Emile’s box. You know what that means.”

 The onesie-clot bitch shrugged, shaking his head. A moment passed while Remy hugged the box, a dirty grin appearing on his lips.

 “Wait~”

 He lifted the lid just enough to reach into the box and get the first biscuit. Instead, there was a little.. piece of paper?

Remy pulled at it until it was in proper vision to see. He skipped down the stairs while Virgil sluggishly stumbled down the miserable excuse of stupid stone stairs. Literally those shits should be forbidden and aborted. Everyone would just trip over stairs but not on ramps.

Ramps were cool. Get ramps, kids.

 “Vi, you h-”, Remy held his breath, stopping himself from saying anymore. Instead, he passed a note to a rather tired and moody baby of a bunny.

 >>Get high with me tomorrow? xx xxx xxxx xxxx - HMU, you two are cute. BTW, love the shirt.<<

 The awakening pal patted his own thigh suddenly, then the box and eventually reached up to Remy and pulled him into a kiss as if his lips depended on it.

It was much shorter than the wild session of kisses he had shared with Emile.

 Again, as soon as Virgil came, as soon she was gone again.

With that, she grabbed the box and ran off.

 “You bitch won’ be gettin’ any coke nor any COCK without me!”

 He jumped around the corner, back to where the two had come from.

 “You owe me a few cherry kisses yourself, Virgil!”

 Remy promptly ran after her, cheeks ablaze, baked from the sun of a thousand kisses, heart flying on the wings of compliments and mind thriving on the warming and tickling light of hope.

 Inside, Emile peeked out of the windows enough to see the two chasing down the block. Littering was bullshit but these two surely were some good.

 The new neighbours were not so bad after all.

[elsa-the-snowbitch]

And tell me some things last

AKA the fic in which I address Matteo’s depression as personally and I hope as gently as possible because I too am a Depressed GayTM (pansexual, but like semantics) 

And also there is David content because of course there is

for Mika, @detroitdavid because he is a real gem 

Sometimes Matteo can’t even tell when it begins. It just creeps up to him, slowly and makes life so much harder to balance like the books on his shelf that are just tethered there by sheer will.

But sometimes, like today, there is just a weight on top of him, a heavy blanket that muffles the world, drowns out all the noises, all the feelings. When he woke up, he already knew that something was different.

He has difficulties with getting out of bed most mornings but this morning, he has to force himself to open his eyes in order to look up at the ceiling. He can’t move, can’t speak and it is not even sadness that brings him down, it is the hollowness in his chest, the emptiness of his room. It is cluttered, clothes strewn around, beer bottles on the table and his nightstand but it is empty at the same time. A true reflection of how he feels.

His phone buzzes on the nightstand and as much as he wants to look, he cannot physically bring his body to move in any direction. It is as if he is stuck, trapped. He didn’t want to just cry like a child but there is nothing he can do about the pillow getting wet.

There is nothing he can do about the fact that he is late for school even if it is only spirit week. Jonas, Abdi and Carlos are waiting for him, he knows that. They wanted to come as a team, as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But today they will have to make do without Michelangelo. He just can’t. Sara is waiting for him as well and he is not willing to pretend for another day but she was so sad when he rejected her.

Why can’t you tell her? Are you scared?

And yes, he is scared. Terrified of all of his masks crumbling to dust once they know. Panicking at the prospect of his parents knowing. Jonas finding out what he did. Not being able to hang out with the boys anymore because they might be disgusted by him.

Not knowing what David might think of him.

His phone buzzes again and this time it stubbornly carries on buzzing. A call.

It takes such an effort to move his hand, it is as if he is navigating through fog but then finally he is able to pick up his phone.

Jonas. Of course.

“Hey, bro. Abdi, Carlos and I are here in front of the school, man, where are you?” he asks and Matteo swallows. It takes several tries to speak and when he does, his voice is raspy, as if he hasn’t used it in years.

“It’s not good today, dude,” he manages and swallows again. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth and he is forcing himself to hold his phone. He cannot force himself to smile or sound positive though and Jonas notices, of course he does. He is his best friend. And he went through a phase like this himself, after Hanna and him broke up.

Your fucking fault, Matteo a voice whispers in the back of his mind but Jonas interrupts it. “I’ll tell the teachers that you aren’t feeling well, okay? We shouldn’t even have classes anyway but hey, the system doesn’t care. Do you want me to come over?”

Matteo is so grateful that he could cry but there is nothing but numbness right now, so he shakes his head, belatedly realising that Jonas can’t see him so he whispers a “No. And can you tell Amira? I just…”

“Sure. No problem. I am busy later but I can ask my study partner in maths to bring you your stuff, okay? He is pretty cool, let me even copy his homework once,” Jonas says and he sounds cheerful. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t just give out your address out to anyone.”

Matteo just hums his acknowledgement and closes his eyes again as Jonas ends the call. Blessed, cursed silence. Faintly he can hear music and laughter down the hall, Mia seems to have a visitor. At least one of them is happy and he envies her for a moment.

The hours seem to stagnate and rush all at once, he hears voices in the kitchen, one moment in all of those hours Hans sticks his head into Matteo’s room to bring him piece of bread with cheese and a glass of tea. He doesn’t say anything, he just carefully kisses Matteo’s forehead as he leaves and again, there are tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. It is such a simple sign of affection and still, it hits Matteo harder than he wanted it to.

The bread and the tea almost taste of nothing but he manages to eat and drink.

Something is better than nothing.

And then the doorbell rings. There is a voice.

“Jonas asked me to bring over Matteo’s stuff for him, so… uh… hi.”

Fuck. It’s David.

David is Jonas bench partner in maths. Why was Matteo never privy to this piece of information?! And why is he here? He shouldn’t see Matteo like this.

“Matteo, my little butterfly, you have a visitor!” Hans calls out and he sighs, rolling over to face the door of his room (his own room. He has his own room). It truly is a mess.

A knock. It is soft and careful, so different from what he has gotten to know David. “Can I come in? Or are you contagious? Jonas told me that you aren’t doing well. I can also just put your stuff in front of your door and… leave.”

Is it just Matteo’s imagination or did David hesitate on that last word?

It is your eyelash. You should know what to wish for.

“No… I… come in. Please.” Matteo’s voice wavers on the last word and he flops back into the pillows, looking up at the pattern of the ceiling as the door opens and David steps in. He waits for a comment, for a derisive scoff, for the door to immediately close again but then the mattress dips and his heart lurches, picks up again in double time. Shit, he is right here. On his bed. Sitting so close that they almost touch but far away enough that Matteo’s heart isn’t in full escalation mode. But he wants. He wants to touch so badly.

For a couple of moments neither of them say anything but then David moves, fumbles in his black backpack (of course it is black) and Matteo just observes him, the line of his neck, the way his black hair curls, his skin that looks as if it would be soft underneath Matteo’s fingertips. Stop. Stop right there.

David makes a triumphant little sound and holds up a headphone splitter and two pairs of headphones, a smile on his face and now there is something underneath all the numbness, the smallest tendril of curiosity, the smallest hint of fondness.

Is he really doing this? Listening to music with someone he is utterly drawn to?

Is he really this stupid?

To answer all of those questions: yes.

“Can I…?” David indicates and there is a brief moment of awkward shuffling until they are both situated on Matteo’s bed, their legs almost touching and this time it is not Sara sitting opposite him, it is David sitting right next to him, here on his bed, holy fuck.

But it’s not Spotify or iTunes or any other music app David opens. Instead he indicates towards Matteo’s laptop that is teetering dangerously close to sliding off the bed, hanging on by force of gravity and dumb luck alone. Much like Matteo is sometimes.

And it is incredibly private to just hand over a laptop, who knows what might be hidden there. Maybe his google search which would really just add to the awkwardness of the situation. But he does. He hands over the thing he spends most of his afternoon on and lets David type away, searching for whatever it is he wants to watch with Matteo.

“No peeking, this is supposed to be surprise,” David gently chides him as Matteo tries to catch a glimpse of the computer screen, a small smile playing on his face and it takes everything Matteo has in him not to stare so blatantly. They are so close that he would be able to count each one of his almost ridiculously long eyelashes. The emptiness is not as noticeable anymore and how can it when the guy he spent nights (and days) thinking of is right here next to him?

“There we go. Found it. It’s live,” David says and hands one pair of headphones over to Matteo. Their fingers brush and his skin begins to tingle, he begins to notice that he has a body, that he isn’t just existing but that he is alive. 

Of course he knows that feelings aren’t the all-heal cure for him, that feelings can be too much in some moments, can drag him down to the bottom where he is currently floating aimlessly while listening to something called Motown with David but they can sit with each other in silence and Matteo doesn’t feel like he has to do anything but be.

“Does this happen often?” David finally asks, his voice careful, as if he is scared to shatter the bubble that has built around them, the comfort. “That you are like this?”

Matteo wants to shrug because that is basically his default mode but he thinks twice. David deserves better than a noncommittal shrug. “Yeah, I…” (be stupid, deflect, make a joke out of it, I am so tired of making it a joke). “It’s the depression,” he finally answers and can feel the corners of his lips struggling to tick up into a smile. Doesn’t work that well. “My dad divorced himself from the situation, my mum is… (crazy, off her rocker, psycho) not doing well and I just. I had to leave. I couldn’t live as a caretaker of my mum when she is supposed to be the adult. I am so tired of feeling lonely and rejected and out of the loop, I…”

He trails off with a sigh, closing his eyes, feeling wrung out and empty, sorry for himself and for David, that he has to witness him being a massively whiny bitch. “Sorry,” he finally says and feels a gentle tug at his sleeve (at his heartstrings) and David looks at him with so much understanding that it almost hurts.

“Hey, no, don’t worry. I get it. You can leave all your word vomit with me, I am good at keeping secrets. The last time someone spilled any secret was the time I had to kill them and move states,” David calms him and there is something in his eyes that speaks of more than just a simple joke. “Let’s just listen to music and not think of anything. Not that that is hard for you.”

A surprised laugh bubbles out of Matteo and shoves David gently.

Outside, the clouds disperse slowly and a ray of sunshine carefully creeps its way into the room where two boys are sitting on a bed, sides pressed together like two magnets, listening to music, occasionally smiling at each other.

And it feels easier than anything Matteo has ever done.

[a-damson-in-distress]

Havoc - Chapter 2

Pairing: SasuSaku

Plot:  Sasuke knew people were still afraid of the club and especially of its Sergeant at Arms – and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He had been untouchable then and still was now. Indeed, there was nothing and no one in this world that Sasuke Uchiha feared. Except Sakura fucking Haruno. Biker AU.

Note: So hi everybody, I’m also continuing my SasuSaku fanfic after it’s been pronounced dead by my year-long absence *coughs awkwardly* sorry about that. Anyway, I really hope you like the new chapter. I’ve got a few great ideas for this story and depending on your responses, I might just try and finish it. So please let me know if you liked it and if you want me to continue it. My main story is still going to be From Dusk Till Dawn (MadaSaku, check it out if you’re into that pairing too), so Havoc will remain a side project for now, unless you convince me otherwise ;) Enjoy!

PS: If you want to read the first chapter, or maybe read it again, because it’s been ages since this story has been posted and you probably forgot what’s going on, you’re going to have to scroll through my blog to get to it. Unfortunately, I can’t post a link to it here, because this way this chapter doesn’t show up under any of the tags. So I had to take out the link to even make this post visible to you guys. Really sorry about that, if anybody knows how to bypass this shit (because it happened to my FDTD chapter, too), I’d be happy if you could help me. :)

Sasuke watched her deliciously bend over the pool table, left hand steadying the cue and right arm drawn back to aim for the white ball. He had to supress a groan threatening to escape his throat at the sight of her tight black jeans stretching over her ass.

God have mercy on him, that woman was still a fine piece of machinery.

He knew he wasn’t the only bastard here ogling the President’s daughter, but at least he had the decency to be subtle about it. Letting his gaze roam around the dimly-lit and packed room of his favourite biker bar, he noticed with a growing rage the many dirty looks and even dirtier gestures thrown her way. Moose’s was not only frequented by the Havoc, but by bikers from other MCs from the region as well. Bikers, who didn’t know about the Havoc’s well-guarded secret in the form of a very enticing, very off-limits pink-haired bombshell. Bikers, who weren’t familiar with the feeling of Sasuke’s foot up their asses – something he was gleefully looking forward to doing should those fuckers not stop drooling like some teenage boys who discovered their dicks for the first time.

Taking a sip of his beer in a feeble attempt to calm his nerves, he watched Sakura throw her head back in laughter at something funny Ino said. As she was rising from her bent-over position, her tiny tank top rose as well, exposing her taut bare midriff. She had borrowed one of her friend’s Black Sabbath tops, because she didn’t want to stick out with her fancy white cashmere turtleneck sweater in a run-down biker bar where one half is clad in dark leather and the other half is basically not clad at all. He would have laughed at the image she was presenting – a delicate, graceful princess in a Black Sabbath shirt – were it not for the fact that he knew Sakura was a die-hard Rock fan.

And by God, she was every bit his dream girl now as she was at seventeen.

Right after she rained down on her dad and him to properly tear the both of them a new one a few hours ago, they convened an emergency church to deal with the clusterfuck one of their latest prospects had dug the club into. As it turned out, the little fucker thought it would be a sneaky idea to hide the small bags of drugs between book pages in Konoha’s smallest, most inconspicuous book shop, tell his customers which books to look out for, and earn some cash on the side that way that nobody would ever have found out about. Were it not for the fact that that tiny little book shop belonged to the President’s daughter, who immediately went and re-introduced the Havoc’s Sergeant at Arms to the soft feeling of her hand slapping the everloving shit out of him.

Despite the fact that the boss tried his best to calm her down and reassure her the club would take care of everything, Sakura stuck around. She made it more than clear that she didn’t trust Sasuke with this matter, especially since she was personally involved. She wanted to make sure there were consequences. So Kakashi invited her to stay for the night and catch up with some old friends before dealing with the poor bastard.

Fast forward a few hours and you had a royally pissed off Sasuke sitting at Moose’s staring daggers into the bikers ogling Sakura’s fine ass. “Bro, you grip that beer bottle any tighter and it’ll burst into a hundred pieces. Pretty sure you don’t want an injured hand for the things you’re gonna do tonight.” Sasuke noticed a shock of blonde hair enter his field of vision and his annoyance immediately went up a notch. “Please, I could beat the crap out of that lil cockroach even when I’m drunk off my ass and with my hands tied behind my back.”

“Probably. But you should still loosen that death grip. Might make some people wonder what makes you so angry,” Naruto cautioned while shooting him a pointed look.

“Drop it,” Sasuke growled threateningly.

Naruto sighed in frustration and leaned back. “Look, man, I know you’ve got history with her and everything, but you gotta stop acting like some brooding love-sick puppy who’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend if you –“

“She was never my girlfriend.”

“Whatever, dude. My point is, if you really wanna make it up to her, then you’ve gotta stop sulking in the shadows, wondering from afar what could have been. This is your chance, man! She always stays away from the club, but now she’s here, and you have the chance to talk to her and sort that shit out between you two.”

Naruto watched his best friend drop his gaze from the woman in question to the beer bottle in his hand.  This had always been Sasuke’s reaction to all things Sakura: silence. Ever since shit had hit the fan between the two seven years ago, the raven-haired biker refused to talk about the brief time he spent with her. The few times they had seen each other in between, there was nothing but reserved silence and awkward glances.

Naruto sometimes couldn’t believe how utterly dumb his best friend was. Sasuke was incredibly fearless and one of the meanest motherfuckers he had ever met. But when it came to Sakura, his guilty conscience left him a pathetic heap of surly misery. It was sad to watch, really.

“Look, Sasuke… I have no fucking clue what exactly went down between you two, but it’s been eating at you for seven fucking years. Whenever you see her, you become this… this sad little… blob of… I don’t know man, sadness I guess and –“

“You sure have a way with words.”

“It’s just so pathetic, bro. I mean, I can clearly see your eyes tearing up, your nose is getting all red and snotty and –“

“Is that supposed to cheer me up now?”

“Ugh, it’s nasty. And when you start crying, you make all these miserable little noises and –“

“Naruto.”

“You know, snot everywhere.“

“That’s enough.”

“Just… disgusting, really.”

Naruto mentally patted himself on the shoulder when he saw the tiniest hint of a smirk on Sasuke’s otherwise sullen face. Pleased with his execution of a manly encouragement that consisted of straight-up insulting his best friend in order to cheer him up, he leaned forward again, so only Sasuke could hear him.

“Jokes aside, man, I know this shit between you two has been weighin’ on ya. And you think you’re doing the both of you a favour by staying away from her, but you’re not, because it’s obvious that she’s got as much unfinished business with you as you’ve got with her. Otherwise she wouldn’t hold a grudge. You gotta clear the air at some point, because she’s fucking family and you don’t ignore family. So you might as well do it now.”

Naruto took a hold of his beer bottle and moved out of the booth. Before turning to the bar, he slapped his right hand on his best friend’s left shoulder. “But you know, that’s just my two cents. What do I know about love and relationships? I’ve only been happily married for five years now.”

Sasuke just grunted in response and lifted his bottle to his lips to take another sip. He let his eyes find Sakura again and mulled over what Naruto said. He might have been right about a few things. He was definitely right about them finally needing to stop dancing around each other and sit down and have a proper heart-to-heart.

But there was one thing Naruto was without a doubt wrong about: there was absolutely nothing about his clusterfuck of a relationship with Sakura that had anything to do with love.

Instead, it had everything to do with the fact that he had smashed her heart to smithereens on the night of her eighteenth birthday and effectively shut the door on any romance they might have had a shot at, sealing it with a hundred padlocks and nailing it down with wooden boards for good measure.

“He’s been staring at you all night.”

Sakura couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the blonde. She moved around the pool table to determine the angle of her next shot, when she heard Ino’s voice right next to her ear.

“Come on, you know he still has the hots for you, right?”

“Bullshit he still has the hots for me!”

“Aha!” Sakura found herself at the other end of Ino’s accusing finger pointed directly at her face. “I knew that would get your attention. You like thinking Sasuke’s still into you, don’t you?” Sakura resisted the urge to swipe off Ino’s perfectly made eyebrows that were wiggling so hard they were threatening to shoot out of her face.

“Don’t be ridiculous, that has got nothing to do with it. I just find it absurd that the big, bad, cold-hearted Sasuke Uchiha would still think about something that happened seven fucking years ago.”

Ino cocked her head to the side and looked at Sakura with a knowing smile. “But you still think about it.”

Sakura’s shoulders slumped as she exhaled in annoyance. “I’m not talking about it, alright?”

“Look, forehead, I know what he did was terrible, but I also know Sasuke and I know that he’s actually a pretty good guy beneath all that brooding Batman bullshit. I genuinely think that he regrets what he did back then. I mean, he did try to confront you about it several times, but you were the one who shut him down. Why don’t you just let him say what he has to say, let him apologise, and then move on. You might pretend like you’re over that whole thing, but I know what you really want is some closure.”

Sakura sighed in frustration and blew a hair out of her face. She was just about to throw some witty remark back at Ino, when she noticed several bikers move through the crowd at Moose’s. The Havocs were leaving, which was her cue to do the same.

She felt Ino’s hands grab her shoulders and turn Sakura towards her. “Just think about it, alright? You’ll be here for the whole weekend, so this would be the perfect opportunity to finally get this shit over with, which I know is what you actually wanna do instead of ogle his rock-hard abs when you think I’m not looking. Yeah, don’t roll your eyes at me, missy, don’t think I don’t notice these things. Now you go and have fun tonight. But don’t rough him up too bad.”

With a secretive wink, Ino headed for the bar, leaving Sakura alone at the pool table. Just as she was about to turn around and head for the exit herself, she was met with the sight of a seriously pissed off Sasuke who fixed his determined gaze on her.

She watched the muscles in his upper arm flex enticingly as he raised his right hand to his lips to take the cigarette out of his mouth. The smoke was floating out of his inviting lips as they moved to form words that barely reached her sex-starved brain. All Sakura heard was his rumbling growl.

“It’s time.”

The cold air outside of Moose’s did little to clear Sasuke’s head. He was still on the fence about if and how he should approach Sakura. But he’d have to postpone wracking his brain, because the Havocs were gearing up to take care of that lil dipshit who dared to cross the President’s daughter.

“Where’s daddy?”

He whipped his head around to see Sakura trailing right behind him, zipping up that tiny little leather jacket he couldn’t believe still fit her curves.

“Waiting for us at the warehouse.”

The rumbling of his brothers’ Harleys enveloped them as Sasuke watched some of them leave Moose’s lot. He headed for his V-Rod Muscle and grabbed his jet-black helmet with the name of his bike – War Hog – spray painted on the back in silver and scarlet letters. He was just about to put it on when he felt a presence behind him and turned around, only to be met with the sight of a very annoyed Sakura looking up at him expectantly.

“You ridin’ with me?”

His eyes noted the rise of her perfectly sculpted eyebrow before she spoke, “You got a problem with that?”

There it was again, that feeling of unease that spread in his stomach whenever she pinned him with that scrutinising gaze of hers. “No, just figured you’d rather ride with Naruto. Or anybody else, for that matter.”

“Well the others are already gone, and Naruto said he needed the extra space to secure his bag of torture instruments or whatever.”

Sasuke immediately knew that was bullshit, there was no bag on the back of Naruto’s bike. The Havocs weren’t going to torture the poor bastard. It was just going to be a little slap on the wrist, really.

“Alright, you’re riding with me. Here, put this on,” he grumbled while handing her his helmet and reaching for his spare one.

Sakura looked at the round object in her hands as if it just sprouted a head and started talking to her. At the sight of her disgusted look, Sasuke let out an exasperated sigh. “What, woman?”

“You’re giving me the helmet that has the word hog spray painted on it in big fat letters? Real tactful, Sasuke.”

He couldn’t supress the smirk that was dangling on the edge of his lips. “I can recall a few even naughtier words I used to call you.” His smirk widened when he saw a faint blush taint her cheeks. Sakura scoffed and rolled her eyes in an overly dramatic fashion. “Oh yeah, now that I think about it, I remember you doing that eye rolling thing a lot, too. Only they usually rolled into the back of your head whenever I –“

“Okay, thank you, that’s enough. I’m putting on the helmet now, I can’t hear you.”

A triumphant grin graced his features at the sight of his dream girl wearing his helmet.

“Good girl.”

Sasuke ignored the look Sakura was shooting him, put on his spare helmet while straddling his bike and waited for Sakura to do the same. When he felt her soft curves press against his back and her arms circle around his waist, he let War Hog roar to life.

He turned his head slightly, so she could hear him better over the rumbling of his engine and asked, “You ready?”

She nodded in confirmation. “Hit the road, Sergeant.”

Sasuke took her left hand into his own, pulled her arm tighter around his torso, and gave her a little squeeze. “You hold on tight, sweetheart.”

He could still hear her scoff behind him. “I was practically raised on a bike, I’ll be fine. This is no big deal.”

Lowering the visor on both their helmets, Sasuke took off and left Moose’s parking lot. The cool breeze around him and the low rumbling beneath him he felt whenever he rode his bike always had a calming influence on his often raging mind. This time, it was different though. This time, he had Sakura pressed against his back again for the first time in seven years.

And even though she might have claimed riding with him was no big deal, her tight grip on his waist and the way she leaned her head against his shoulders told him a different story.

[koganeirou]

Ikemen Revolution - Fenrir’s Route

Aaaand here’s one for Fenrir’s route!

My main comments are: FUCK those avatar challenges. It took me five thousand years to finish this damn route because I was stuck grinding for Lin for five thousand years because according to cybird, I can’t get the good ending w ma man unless I look cute smh.

The night that Alice lands in Cradle, she pretty much goes out to the garden to sob her eyes out because of the stress of being killed (oh honey don’t worry this game doesn’t have any bad ends. If you were in a game like Amnesia then I’d start crying LMAO). Fenrir happens to see her and wipes her tears away (*๓´╰╯`๓). He decides to spend the month with Alice to make her have as much fun as possible, and makes her promise that so there will be no regrets, the two will not fall in love.

But we all know that’s not gonna happen.

I guess because the boys finally learned from Lancelot’s route to never send a nameless faceless nobody with Alice, Ray assigns Fenrir as her personal bodyguard. 

Fenrir takes it upon himself to be Alice’s personal tour guide, so they go on a date around the Central Quarter eating all kinds of sweets like a bunch of dorks D’AWW. Of course the red army are full of party poopers who crashes their alone time.

@Red army boys, I LOVE YOU ALL BUT YOUR SOLDIERS NEEDA CHILL. Like my grievances from Lancelot’s route carry over in twofold because the nameless red soldiers are once again, STILL a bunch of blood thirsty hooligans who are clearly letting “may glory flow crimson through our veins” slogan get to their heads WAYY too much. 

(☪̤̆_̆ ☪̤̆) THAT’S SO SPECIFIC LMAO.

But anyhoo I guess having a body guard with actual plot armor was really beneficial because Fenrir drives off all of the Red soldiers! And as it turns out, they were sent by Edgar (but of course why am I not surprised smh).

They return home and a few black army soldiers comes out shitting their pants because apparently there’s a ghost, and when Fenrir hears that HE shits his pants. 

Luka has his priorities straight.

Fenrir pussyfoots outside the army headquarters for a few minutes because GHOST but then big bear Sirius comes out RURL pissed because everyone keeps making a ruckus.

WHY DO I FIND THIS SO FUCKING FUNNY. LIKE IT’S PICTURE PERFECT. I CAN IMAGINE HIM DOING THIS IN MY HEAD FRAME BY FRAME.

So the ghost was actually a magic cult goon creeping around like a lech looking for women's’ underwear, whom Seth covered for. I had zero interest in Seth before but I do find it interesting that more hints about Seth’s connection to the magic cult goons are being dropped, and if anything it makes me want to play his route now.

I’d love to be your friend!!! But unfortunately Fenrir is a giant stick in the mud and won’t let me! But never fear because your route is coming out soon so soon I’ll be more than just your friend LOL!

 Fenrir gets news that some of their soldiers got cornered on the Red Bridge. Well what do you know, turns out the nameless red soldiers are still mad that they busted a nut in anticipation for nothing because they didn’t get to skewer any soldiers in Lancelot’s route, so now they’re taking out their pent up frustration here.

Luka hears the news as well and rushes to the red bridge just in time to see Jonah and the rest of the red soldiers man handling the black army soldiers (wtf Jonah I expected better of you). Luka goes from simmering with rage to boiling with rage and charges at the red soldiers. Obviously the red soldiers don’t care (or... they just can’t comprehend) that Luka is their superior’s freaking brother because all they can think about is reaping the reward for unnecessary stabbing and so they go into Ultimate Shish Kabobing Mode and decide to kill Luka.

Jesus christ... these fucking red soldiers. I am so sorry but I think the only people in this clown of an army that has any shred of honor or self control are the red army love interests LOL.

Anyway Fenrir drags Luka’s delirious bloody corpse back to the black army and the scene ain’t pretty. But it’s okay because we all know that this game doesn’t have the balls to actually kill anyone so it’s not like there’s any need to be worried.

See even Alice acknowledges it lol. This game’s too soft (not that that’s necessarily a bad thing... if I want angst I’ll just read fanfiction ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Apparently the one who actually made swiss cheese of Luka was Jonah. At first I was just SO CONFUSION?? JONAH WOULD NEVER DO THAT! until this bomb dropped and my only reaction was honestly just “...yikes”.

CRIES @ MY HEART

Jonah sneaks into Black Territory unarmed and Fenrir decides to arrange for him to see Luka like a the great wingbro he is. Alice’s left awkwardly keeping Jonah company but the ice quickly breaks and they end up spending the day talking about Luka ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡.

Fenrir successfully sneaks Jonah into Luka’s room but the two end up just having a screaming match and Luka boots Jonah out of his room. Understandable, considering how all the red soldiers are like little kids that you needa put those backpack straps on because who knows what the fuck they’ll do if left to their own devices.

me whenever I have any kind of guests over.

eat my ass @ Sirius 

When it’s decided that the Black and Red army are gonna go to war for realsies, Alice requests to go onto the battle field with Fenrir so she can repel magic. Sirius freaks out going all like “ojou-chan, you mustn’t! It’s not a walk in the park!!” but Alice ain’t having any of that and essentially tells Sirius to eat her ass. Fenrir being the amazing bro he is sticks up for Alice and asks Ray if he can take her with him, swearing he’ll protect her. Ray’s like sigh fine. This scene was honestly my favourite because I loved how much confidence Fenrir had in Alice and how he respected her desire to help. Unlike a certain someone ੧| ‾́ェ ‾́ |੭ (totally not throwing shade at Sirius LMAO).

CRIES SOME MORE THAT’S SUCH A CUTE NICKNAME.

I could have asked the exact same thing of you Sirius.

The rest of the Black Army can clearly see sparks flying between Fenrir and Alice but unfortunately, Fenrir has to join Sirius in the emotional constipation of “what is this feeling in my chest?! Definitely not love!” Granted Fenrir has an excuse because of the promise he made her, but it’s still frustrating nonetheless.

oh my god can you shut up about this dumbass slogan for one minute. 

Ngl despite the heart warming moment of resolve when Fenrir decides to take Alice into battle, it’s pretty damn hard to take the war seriously because it feels like a bunch of 14 year old teenagers doing a play-war considering of how almost comedic it is. Again, I’m not saying that this game needs to be an angst fest where everyone dies, but for a story about two armies on the brink of war, it does a pretty bad job at building any real tension or showing this war as a source of any real conflict with any real stakes or any real consequences.

I totally *do not* dislike that nickname 👀

We cut back to the red army who are all quite frazzled because they all had that “oh fuck” moment when they realized that they’re getting their asses whooped by the black army.  Lancelot decides to stay his hand, whereas Jonah rages at Edgar’s incompetence but Edgar’s ultimately like “¯\_(ツ)_/¯ King’s orders”.

Alice you’re doing amazing, sweetie.

Alice continues to fight with Fenrir on the front lines but she realizes that she really loves him and she doesn’t want to go home anymore! UNFORTUNATELY FOR HER, our lovely gentleman Fenrir “this feeling in my chest is totally love but I WON’T ADMIT IT!” Godspeed repeatedly dodges her attempts at confessing (¬_¬). GOOD SIR I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING. You’re just trying to put off having a heart to heart about your feelings until the full moon so you can boot Alice back to her world without ever having to talk about it (ლಠ益ಠ)ლ.

Alice tries once again for the nth time to confess her feelings to Fenrir but this time they’re interrupted by the magic cult goons who are hell bent on capturing Alice. This plays out exactly as you’d predict and the two get cornered at a cliff LOL. Alice gets blown off the cliff and Fenrir jumps after her to save her.

This, my friends, is what we call: plot armor.

They miraculously (and conveniently) survive their fall and end up in the castle ruins in the forbidden forest. I guess being lost in an abandoned forest with a totally not haunted castle next to them sets the mood for sexy time because they end up making out like their life depends on it. Conveniently, without actually saying they love each other ლ(ಠ_ಠლ). 

GUYS... THE DRIVER IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE.... GUYS....

They make it back to Black Territory in one piece with the help of Loki and Harr and Ray loses his shit because he thought they died T T T.  Fenrir is sent back to the front lines and Alice is totally ready to go back and kick some ass but I guess all the fire and confidence in this power couple completely deflated because Fenrir becomes Sirius 2.0 and refuses to take Alice SMH. 

Alice finds Fenrir boarding a carriage to leave, and she stops him and tries to tell him that she loves him. Fenrir responds by pulling Alice into the carriage with him and at this point I was HYPED because “is he actually gonna take her with him?!?!” but my hopes are quickly dashed when he shoves her into the carriage, initiates round 2 of INTENSE MAKE OUT SESSION LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT..... then throws Alice’s sad ass back out of the carriage and leaves her behind once he’s finished (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻.

UGH! FENRIR! JUST--- AGHHHHHHH. 

YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN. Like yea sex is great, but have you ever heard of proper verbal communication??

(I also find it funny how the driver was just sitting there the entire time they were making out doing a big boi sweat).

me with group assignments in school.

Fenrir comes back on the night of the full moon and Alice for the 100TH DAMN TIME IN THIS ROUTE, tries to tell him that she doesn’t want to go home, but Fenrir, again, dashes her hopes and tells her she has to go back he won’t be able to protect her all the time. Which we all know is bullshit, but nevertheless Alice decides to listen to him. 

Ha ha ha you are so full of shit.

And so Alice once again goes to the gates of hell garden portal which I officially dub as “The Hole Where Bad Things Happen” or more accurately, “The Hole That No Player Ever Wants To See”. 

Anyhoo Alice leaps back home and spends about a month moping in London until one day a black army soldier comes to London and begs Alice to go back with him because Fenrir’s in danger! Alice, having literally zero self preservation because I guess her time on the battle field taught her jack shit, blindly follows this fellow back to Cradle and the moment she arrives, the guy reveals himself to be a magic cult goon and so she’s kidnapped and taken to Amon’s sex dungeon.

Look. I’m not gonna accuse Alice of “dumb mc syndrome” and I don’t necessarily blame her for falling for it but at the same time, COME ON. THIS IS THE DUMBEST PLOT POINT EVER. Of all the possible reasons she comes back to Cradle, THIS IS THE ONLY THING THEY COULD THINK OF? What makes it so aggravating is that it’s stated multiple times that any person from Reason can repel magic, so if that’s the case, the cult goons could have just kidnapped any random off the street instead of wasting time and energy looking for Alice. And if they could conveniently stroll into the land of Reason, why didn’t they do that ages ago?!

You know that writing rule “make your villains smarter, not your protagonists dumber”, or something like that? Well in this case, everyone is dumb!

Anyway during the month Alice was gone, Lancelot finally decides to stop going radio silent and consults the Black Army about Amon and his weed stash. This felt really convenient and almost inconsistent with Lancelot’s character because in the other routes he was hell bent on not talking unless 100% cornered, but in Fenrir’s route he spills the beans like it’s no big deal. 

Fenrir hears the news of Alice being kidnapped by Amon and the Black army pretty much storms into the Magic Tower and fishes Alice out. Amon finally reveals himself but honestly he doesn’t put up much of a fight because Fenrir shoots him with one of those hiccuping guns and that’s enough to deflate all of Amon’s fighting spirit lmao so he gets arrested in the end. Talk about anti climatic as hell. This entire thing just felt really stupid because if all they had to do with storm the damn tower, they should have done so ages ago.

Admittedly I do like the resolution to this whole fiasco. Fenrir is totally ready to get down and dirty, but before that Fenrir and Alice actually, finally, and at long last, properly talk about their feelings and sort out their relationship mess. 

Dramatic End:

Alice officially joins the Black Army, and they hold her enrollment ceremony. Hosting it is usually Ray’s job since he’s king but since Alice is his best friend’s babe, he decides to let Fenrir take over. Unfortunately, Fenrir can’t keep his excitement in check and ends up picking Alice up and spinning her around in joy ╭(๑ ॔ㅂ ਂ ॓)و ̑̑. THIS WAS SO CUTE I LOVE THIS ENDING.

-----

Honestly I have a lot of mixed feelings about this route. There’s the good, the bad, and the ugly, but since I don’t wanna end this post on a salty note so I’ll just start with the ugly and work my way up.

The Ugly: The route starts losing momentum their promise of not falling in love morphs into the source for Fenrir’s self cockblock fest for the rest of the route and him repeatedly rebuffing Alice’s attempts to tell him she wants to stay in Cradle became unbearable frustrating. Playing Sakuya’s route in Norn9 alongside Fenrir’s route did not help at all because his route also had a “promise of not falling in love” premise and had the exact same problems as Fenrir’s route so honestly my frustration was just doubled at this point.

The Bad: The plot is balls off the rail in the second half if it isn’t obvious enough from my complaints earlier. The Hole That No Player Ever Wants to See making a reappearance in Fenrir’s route kills a lot of the build up between Alice and Fenrir and there was honestly no point of having Alice go back to London. The circumstances that lead her to returning were so stupid it had me head banging against the wall.

The Good: I think Fenrir and Alice have a very strong “friends to lovers” romance going on and it was honestly really sweet and wholesome. I loved how their friendship and subsequent romance builds them both up and makes them better people-- they’re both stronger together, they’re equals, they’re partners. You really get a sense of camaraderie between the two and their relationship is founded on mutual respect, understanding, trust, and confidence in each other which I’m 100% on board with. Fenrir taking Alice onto the battle field with him is a testament of the rock solid trust between them. They have a very strong partner in crime vibe that I love! 

I adore how Fenrir refers to Alice as his “best friend” or his “best buddy” and it was just so cute, it made my heart swell because I’m a firm believer that your s/o SHOULD be your best friend.

Overall imo, Fenrir’s route is about on par with Lancelot’s, though it has higher highs and lower lows than Lancelot’s route did.

Anyway, I’m making my way through Edgar’s route currently (♥ω♥*).

[bubblet-ea]

something foreign but altogether completely familiar

“the fuck?”

“please?” jimin all but whined, head tucked comfortably atop yoongi’s lap as both sets of fingers moved rapid-fire against his ps4 game controller.

“no,” yoongi’s green humanoid blob managed to shove jimin’s blue twerky thing to go plunging to his doom off a rotating blimp. 

”hah!” taehyung’s screech could be heard through his headset. “team taegi wildin’ out!”

“come on, just one time,” jimin’s eyes remained glued to the tv screen where he adamantly tried to body flop his way over taehyung’s yellow goop man that tried to throw him off again ”hoseok! you fuckin’ suck! you’re supposed to have my back!”

the only response received was a high pitched cackle-scream hybrid that had jimin flinching, probably bursting one of his eardrums as well. hoseok’s little red floppy dude went plummeting to his doom all on his own at the opposite end of the screen far from the melee going on between the other three players.

“yoongi please,” jimin was just that close of chucking his controller at the tv, nostrils flaring with annoyance at how crap he was at this game. “three hours, tops.”

“fuck no,” yoongi effectively managed to nudge both jimin’s and taehyung’s characters off the blimp, sacrificing his own partner with no remorse. (”hey! what the heck!”). “what part of no don’t you understand?”

“but i said please,” jimin finally tossed his controller and waved his metaphoric white flag of surrender. he opted for rolling flat on his back and lifting his gaze to stare up at the underside of yoongi’s chin with the softest puppy pout he could muster. “i thought we were bros.”

“no,” yoongi somehow managed to continue playing with a single hand, freeing the other to produce a swift flick on jimin’s forehead (”ow.”). “i am your elder, and you are a pint-sized peanut stuffed full of teenage gay angst and i don’t know why i put up with you.”

granted, jimin supposed that was true. yoongi was technically two years his senior. but they’d been practically biffles for life since childhood because their dads were fishing buddies. and jimin would rather have every last one of his teeth pulled out with steel pliers than to actually admit, but he picked this university for the sole purpose that it contained one min yoongi.

because.

best bros.

“but i thought you were my fam,” jimin plopped his body like deadweight and stretched his full height across the couch. “my homie for life, piña to my colada, the half to my whole, soy to my latte-”

“you can fuck right off with that.” 

 “and after all i’ve done for you,” jimin swooned, arm tossed over his eyes in a dramatic effect. he snuck a peak to glance up at the pointy end of yoongi’s nose.

the elder’s eyebrow was in serious danger of shooting up and out through the roof. if jimin didn’t know any better, and he liked to think he knew better than most, yoongi’s expression was definitely in danger of being permanently fixed the way it was, what with yoongi’s constant skepticism and no-fucking-nonsense-stick-up-his-ass-you-mess-with-me-i-will-shove-this-lamp-pole-up-your-fucking-dickhole attitude.

“pray tell, what exactly have you done for me?”

“like that one time,” jimin started, straightening out from his maiden’s swoon and poking up at yoongi’s left piercing. “you were thirsting over taehyung hardcore like the dehydrated prune ass bitch you are. and i had to step in and play cupid so you could finally man up the courage to tap dat.”

“damn boiiiii!” hoseok screeched.

“exposed!” taehyung followed. “i know i’m hot shit and all but daaaaang!”

“i will literally set your hair on fire, you oversized carrot top,” yoongi gritted through clenched teeth where jimin caught a muscle twitch. (”you love my glorious orange hair, don’t lie.”)

jimin could truly say that episode had been one helluva fuckin’ ride, an experience. to be honest, yoongi seemed to be hellbent on pretending the entirety of last winter holidays had never happened, it was that embarrassing. in the end, jimin’s efforts had been in vain and yoongi snapped right the fuck out of it when he realized taehyung was not the soft, sweet cotton fluff he thought and a whole lot of nasty, panty dropping extra that could not be contained.

yoongi shot him a brief, tight lipped smile that looked more constipated than anything else.

“it’s true though,” hoseok’s mirth was clearly visible even through the shitty wifi connection. “jimin did do you a solid.”

“the sex was really good though, you gotta admit.”

“first of all, you piece of shit,” yoongi’s game controller went to join jimin’s across the coffee table. “i did not thirst after taehyung-”

“you were so thirsty your skin was flaking,” jimin smirked, shortly before he was shoved off the couch to land in a puddle at yoongi’s feet. “ow, fuck that really hurt.”

“i am the king of gang beasts!” taehyung’s shrill deep voice echoed in jimin’s ears. “all hail king tae! bow, peasants, and kiss my feet!”

“the fucking disrespect,” yoongi’s toe nudge into jimin’s side, making him jerk sideways half under the table. “it was mid winter and i have eczema you snot rag. second of all,” yoongi continued on his tirade and jimin wheezed with laughter. “what you managed to do was set everyone up for fuckin’ centuries of cringeworthy humiliation that is bound to have my descendants curling in misery.”

“you’re so dramatic,” jimin smiled fondly, rolling back out from under the table and sitting himself up. he rested his chin along his arms crossed on the edge of the sofa by yoongi’s knees. “i totally helped you get dat ass. i am the best wingman.”

“you are a fucking nightmare, is what you are,” yoongi deadpanned, ruffling jimin’s already mussed up, pitch black hair.

“i know, but please,” jimin tried again, throwing on his best sulk face and capitalizing on the best asset god bequeathed him with. his plush, pouty lips. “just this one time,” he bat his lashes, just for good measure. “how often do i ask for favors?”

“all the fuckin’ time!”

“like when do you not?”

“did i ask for your opinion?! i think the fuck not!” jimin straightened out like a snapped spring and bellowed into his headset mic. through his peripheral vision, he saw yoongi take of his own headset and slowly rub at his temples.

“why do i put up with all of you,” yoongi let out a long suffering sigh.

“because you lo-”

jimin turned off the tv, remote arm out, cutting hoseok off mid-sentence. yoongi looked at him like he might kiss him. or not. with a shrug, jimin tossed the remote on the carpet by his feet.

“back to the subject,” he licked his lips, settling against the coffee table with his knees drawn to his chest. yoongi let out another heavy sigh, but that didn’t deter jimin. “just one time please. one date,” he attempted the most forlorn look, like stepped on flowers, run over a dog’s tail, cookies got burnt disconsolate. “taemin is gonna be there.”

“how do you even know this,” yoongi sighed. again.

“with jongin.”

jimin pouted extra hard.

“who the fuck is jongin,” yoongi rubbed his temples with his middle and forefinger, as if he was warding off an oncoming migraine. which is nonsense. because jimin is the light of yoongi’s life. he could attest to this.

“who is,” jimin's face crumpled. “who the fuck. jongin!” his arms shot up into the air. “kim jongin! the third year ballet twink with the good ass thighs and facial structure crafted by the gods! dance prodigy jongin!” jimin’s voice escalated with every syllable, in speed, pitch, and volume.

“that kim jongin. the one taemin dumped me for,” jimin was now truly feeling really sad. this was not how he’d anticipated this conversation to go down.

it still hurt. three weeks had passed since the evening that shall not be spoken of. and jimin’s chest still throbbed with an empty longing at the memories of how taemin had broken up with him at their favorite mom-and-pop cafe that had been the center point of almost a year’s worth of happy memories. the sacrilege, how dare?

“i found someone else,” taemin had said.

“well good riddance! ‘cause i was gonna break up with you first!” jimin’s brain to mouth filter completely went on vacation, leaving him with utter regret and despair. but why stop there? “i found someone else too!”

the look of surprise on taemin’s face had almost been worth it.

almost.

now jimin was stuck with empty words and no boyfriend to show for it.

“please,” jimin tried again, clutching at yoongi’s artfully ripped jeans, which was saying something as they were so tight they clung to the elder’s very legs like second skin. “i just gotta prove to him that i do have somebody else and i’m not like desperate-taylor-swift-binge-eating-sobfest-heartbroken.”

“you are heartbroken,” yoongi muttered, pulling off his headset and running a hand through his soft brown hair. “there’s nothing wrong with that. the asshole literally broke your heart. i’m pretty sure that’s the definition of heartbroken.”

“just to prove i have a boyfriend,” jimin could sense victory in the soft sigh leaving yoongi’s lips.

“but you don't.”

“minor detail,” jimin waved a nonchalant hand.

“i’d say that’s a big fucking detail,” yoongi replied gruffly, rubbing his face with his open hand.

“i’ll buy you dinner,” jimin enticed, coming up to his knees and peering up into yoongi’s face.

“it better be a good fucking dinner,” yoongi sighed, finally relenting.

success.

--

“i can't believe i let you talk me into this,” yoongi shook his head, jimin chancing furtive glances over his menu to look for that familiar face.

“just,” jimin finally caught taemin and his new boyfriend at the far side of the cafe, tucked away in a discreet corner booth. “pick something to eat while i do some recon.”

“fucking ridiculous,” yoongi released a long, deep breath but picked up his own menu and began to look through the list of foods. “recon,” yoongi snorted, a crease forming in between jimin’s brows as he tried to subtly, not so subtly, crane his neck as if he could actually catch what the other two were talking about if he stretched far enough.

he didn’t even notice as the waitress stopped by to take their order, squinting as he attempted to lipread what taemin was saying to jongin.

damn, it was hard to see exactly what words were being exchanged from this angle and distance.

but what wasn't too difficult to see, even for jimin from this length of space between, was the brilliant laughter playing on taemin’s lips and the way his eyes curved into that precious moon smile that was jimin’s favorite and had always been reserved for him and him only.

the dull thud in his chest echoed like a bucket dropped all the way to the bottom of an empty well.

he watched, breath held, as taemin pulled the other’s hand and pressed butterfly kisses along every knuckle. something he used to do for jimin too.

it felt as if he’d fallen into that empty well along with the bucket.

it hurt.

like a fucking bitch, it hurt.

he really thought he could do this. but he couldn't. not when taemin looked for all the world like a man completely smitten. and the other person wasn't jimin.

a sharp kick to the shin finally jolted his attention away from the other couple, a startled whine escaping through his parted lips as a bright hot pain traveled up his leg from the point of abuse.

“what the fuck,” jimin’s expression puckered, rubbing at the sore spot on his shin that was very likely to bruise. yoongi’s brow quirked, arms crossed over his chest looking bored as hell while jimin’s world came crashing down around his feet for what was probably the thousandth time since he’d been dumped.

“you’re supposed to be having a good time,” yoongi’s face softened when jimin bit down on his lower lip that had started to quiver. he blinked repeatedly, forcing back the burn that had begun to emerge around the corners of his eyes. it was becoming somewhat hard to breathe.

“do you want me to take you home?” the elder asked gently, and jimin shook his head faintly. “then what do you want to do?” yoongi enquired, head tilted to the side.

inhaling a shaky breath, jimin willed himself to calm. “can you just,” he answered after a moment of silence. “talk. just talk. about anything, i don't care. just please,” jimin didn’t really know what he was begging for. he just needed the pain in his chest to stop.

so yoongi began talking.

he started with a teacher aide in his music comp class that none of the students liked because he was a total pompous bitch. he talked about his latest assignment that was due in a few day’s time, but he’d procrastinated up until now because who fuck care anyways? he commented on the weather, about Pokémon GO, about a new movie that had come out, about the upcoming spring break and how their mothers expected them back home because yoongi’s older brother wanted him to meet his fiancé’s family and how jimin was going to come with him or else he’d die of boredom and the younger owed him a favor after this anyway.

the words flowed freely, and jimin was content to just listen to that deep silken voice wrap him softly like a bandaid over a wound.

he listened and he ate as yoongi talked, gradually forgetting the reason that he was here in the first place and began to actually engage in the conversation.

“do i get a free meal out of it?” jimin tipped his head to the side, popping a french fry in his mouth and licking the bit of ketchup off the end of his middle finger. at that, he thought he caught a near imperceptible dip in the elder’s adam’s apple. but he waved it off as just his imagination.

“freeloader,” a hand leaned over the table to ruffle jimin’s hair before he could swing out of yoongi’s reach.

“knock it off,” jimin huffed, batting the hand away. “and no i’m not.”

“you are soft as fuck,” yoongi laughed at the excitement that lit up jimin’s face. “yes, you’re getting a free meal out of my brother so you’re ass is coming.”

“okay.”

“and you act like you never get a free meal whenever you come banging on my doorstep anyway,” yoongi said in a deadpan tone, sliding his credit card into the check folder the waitress brought over. “you know how much my mom loves you.”

“i can’t wait to play with holly,” jimin hummed with a content smile, sipping on his watered down coke zero.

--

“thanks for, you know,” jimin stared down at his feet, scuffing the point of his right shoe against the concrete. he glanced up to see yoongi shrug, hands tucked away into the pockets of his jeans while they stood outside of jimin’s dorm.

they’d done this a million and trillion times before in the past. but why did jimin feel somewhat nervous?

yoongi was as familiar to him as his own right arm, or his favorite blanket back home.

there was something different though, hanging in the crisp night air between them... something that was never there before.

“thank you for being the best fucking bro in the whole fucking world?” yoongi prompted when he’d paused for long enough, jimin snorting with amusement and retuning somewhat back to planet earth.

“yeah, that,” he conceded, fingers clasped behind his back for lack of anything better to do with them. “thank you.”

something warmed inside jimin’s chest at the soft grin that spread across yoongi’s face, eyes traveling down his side profile as the elder looked up into the starry deep sky above.

when their eyes met again, it was as if jimin hadn’t known yoongi his entire life, since toddlerhood, something foreign yet altogether completely familiar thrumming in his chest.

“’night.”

“good night,” jimin licked his suddenly dry lips. he watched as yoongi turned, breaking into a light jog as he moved back towards his car parked in the no-parking zone with the emergency lights flashing.

what the hell?

--

“i’ve been doing some thinking.”

silence.

“can i ask you something?” 

the only response jimin received was a muted grunt.

“and hear me out, okay? don’t just completely write this off,” jimin continued, staring at yoongi’s back from his current position of lying perpendicular across the elder’s bed, head hanging upside down over the edge.

yoongi didn’t even glance up from the composition project he was working on. the one he’d procrastinated on for weeks now. the one that was due within the next twenty-four hours, holy fucking shit rest in pieces.

“i think we should try kissing a go,” jimin blurted out, body tensed, as he watched for yoongi’s response.

there was the briefest of pause in his constantly moving hand, the soft pen scratches going even quieter still until it had completely stopped.

jimin held his breath, if only to not break the utter silence. the room was so thick with it, he thought he could put a knife right through it and cut a slice straight out of the air.

cricket cricket bitch.

after several minutes had passed, jimin was about to laugh it off as a joke when yoongi finally responded, “don’t be stupid,” and resumed his work once again as if jimin hadn’t said anything at all.

“but i’m being serious,” jimin rolled over onto his front, chin propped up on his clasped fingers and boring holes in the elder’s back between his shoulder blades.

yoongi finally turned, shooting jimin a long, searching look that had him squirming to the very tips of his toes.

without another word, the elder lobbed a crumbled up composition sheet that landed squarely in the center of jimin’s forehead.

“ow what the fuck?!”

--

“i cannot believe,” yoongi exhaled a sigh of resignation, glaring up at the ceiling flashing technicolor strobe lights as if it had done him some personal great injustice.

“is that jongin over there? can y’see him? i can’t tell if it’s him or not,” jimin was just this close to overbalancing and tipping over the barstool with how far he was stretching his neck to catch a glance of the familiar looking couple dancing amongst the drunken crowd.

he’d lost count of how many shots of tito’s he’d downed in the past few hours they’d been camped out at the congested bar. jimin was a man on a mission. and yoongi’s palm was warm against the small of his back, propped there to prevent his fall, made all the warmer by the inebriating flush that spread across his cheeks.

nibbling on his parched lips, jimin leaned even further out to squint at the blond haired man that looked kind of like taemin and kind of didn’t, only breaking his stare when taehyung dipped by to pass him another shot of something or other.

“drink bitch!”

“i think not,” yoongi swooped in before jimin could reach to intercept the small glass rimmed with salt.

“ooh tequila?” jimin pivoted on the stool without warning, nearly knocking the drink out of yoongi’s hand and quite suddenly placing the elder to stand in between his legs. 

“but i have limes!” taehyung’s boxy smile stretched so wide, jimin couldn’t help but grin back as he tried to grab the shot.

“i think you’ve had enough,” yoongi stretched his arm away from jimin’s circumference of reach.

“but i have limes!” taehyung repeated as if that tidbit of fact made it even more important. and quite frankly, jimin couldn't help but agree.

“give it,” he pouted, one hand grasping onto yoongi’s shoulder and the other reaching out making grabby hands at the glass.

“why you gotta cock block?” taehyung whined, having already downed his own and cramming the lime wedge into his mouth.

“no,” yoongi said in a no-nonsense tone that should've brooked no argument.

but jimin was buzzed and had no shits to give at the moment, completely forgetting that his best bro for life had promised to please, please, please play designated let’s-not-let-jimin-do-anything-utterly-stupid-whilst-in-his-intoxicated-state.

however, that was besides the point.

what was the point again?

instead, jimin opted for wrapping his legs around yoongi’s waist to bring him even closer, extending his wiggling arm to the best of its somewhat stunted abilities to reach, reach, reach...

oh.

“shit!”

“ow.”

“y’okay?”

the stool ended up tipping over, both of them landing in a puddle of confused limbs and pained grunts. but jimin’s fall had been miraculously cushioned by yoongi’s chest, the elder having fallen flat on his back against what jimin could only imagine was the disgustingly alcohol-sticky tiled floor. gross.

yoongi groaned, his voice barely audible over the pounding bass intermixed with taehyung’s loud shrieking.

“hey,” jimin rested his chin on yoongi’s chest, his already muddled brain just a tiny bit overwhelmed by the stale and bitter scent of beer that lingered on the other’s lips. “you’re kinda cute, how did i never notice before.” 

yoongi snorted, groaned, jimin couldn't tell which.

“i’m gonna kiss you,” jimin said before his consciousness could actually catch up with his brain. “y’know, not because we’re best bros or anything, but like because you’re kinda cute right now and i’m kinda drunk and i couldn't think about anything but this for the past few days since-”

“just fucking shut up,” yoongi leaned up and pressed his lips onto jimin’s. 

it tasted bitter, but it was warm and soft. and it tasted like something foreign but altogether completely familiar, like a promise of the past and present and future.

it tasted like home.

“literally you are such a piece of shit,” yoongi smiled fondly when they finally came up for air.

yup, definitely felt like home.

[rhythmic-idealist]

The thing is...

I’m still just kind of completely flabbergasted that the end of “look at this bad terrible alien empire that took over another planet and its home species, and separates people by their blood color, and uses religion to put some people above others” Homestuck is “now the kids won!! and are regarded as ‘gods,’ and passively watch these people form casually segregated species-based kingdoms before just swooping in and taking ownership of them, also Jane is a capitalist”

Like I get it, we’re not characters, we don’t have arcs, yadda yadda yadda it’s cool and creative that Echidna was wrong and the sufferists were wrong, but gosh darnit where is my Second Signless arc

I don’t even need it to be Karkat! I can even live with Karkat having permanently given up leadership and the Second Signless never happening, but there was a story there, and it was a story about how this game managed to fuck over four consecutive universes with its idea of what its players “needed” to be prepared (which is why Alternia was what it was, it’s the way the Scratch “thinks,” it’s the Bro Strider mentality that to make a stronger more successful session you put the players through hell) 

But okay, so it isn’t going to be Karkat, fine. But listen, Roxy is right there with a history of helping and growing to understand another species while living under the oppressive Alternian Empire, Calliope is right there with a huge heart and a life spent in isolation and a bright, constant desire to help. Dirk is massively critical of himself and his friends at every turn, and takes action to fix it. Do you see how much potential we had? Do you see how many ways the kids’ decisions on the new planet could have been a conclusion to four universes and four - count ‘em, four (x) - revolutions?

And this is the part where I stop whining, and it turns into real, actual analysis.

Homestuck’s ending rides on Rose’s [edit: Dave’s, I think] line that “maybe we don’t have arcs, maybe we’re just.... people.” And so we look at that, and look at Homestuck, and go ugh, that is creative. That is making a point. If Homestuck was just a story about people, this ending would be satisfying, because people don’t have arcs, and sometimes they just live.

But what Hussie seemed to forget was that Homestuck became a story about a revolution. It became a story about four fucked-up universes and the ways they fucked up their children - it’s about the ways that Beforus’s strict hierarchies and stifling policy of “there is a place for you, don’t worry, and we’ll FIND that role for you and MAKE you fit it” left us with a bunch of isolated young adults running away from whatever they were told they were supposed to be (a matron, an empress, quiet). It’s about the ways Alternia’s violent emphasis on power and denial of basic things like friendship left us with a bunch of volatile, emotionally unstable teenagers who don’t know how to help each other and who did a lot of killing instead; the ways Earth One told Dave so much about who he was allowed to be and what masculinity means and Earth Two sheltered Jane and Jake and forced Roxy and Dirk to grow up so much too quickly and left all of them isolated and not sure how to be good friends to each other (“she’ll get over her drinking problem alone if we don’t talk about it,” “if I send enough robots to beat him up he’ll be fine,” those aren’t normal reactions).

And then, when Homestuck came back from the gigapause, we started moving toward resolution. Dave is coming to terms with his abusive childhood, and growing past the long-internalized ideas about masculinity and self-worth that his environment allowed him. Jade is allowing herself to be openly sad, instead of beating it back with a stick for the same reasons she so despised Jadesprite. There are conversations explicitly about “my environment was really fucked up, and I can fix it,” and they’re conversations that tie directly back to Homestuck’s larger revolutions, especially the Signless’s - that general realization that “it doesn’t need to be like this.”

(You can’t look at the Signless going “this is bullshit, we never needed to hurt each other, Alternia never needed to hurt us,” and then look at Dave going “this is bullshit, I never needed to be strong, people like him never needed to hurt people like me,” and tell me that there isn’t a little revolution brewing. “It doesn’t need to be like this.”)

And now we’re on Earth 3.0 - featuring capitalism, informally species-segregated society, at least enough of the hemospectrum to keep jadebloods in the caverns - and the kids just.... don’t do anything? Jane just runs her corporation and isn’t surprised at all when she thinks she’s the target of an assassination attempt, which would be coming not from the Empress, but from the people below her this time? Dirk just kinda... Is There? Jade, John, and Jake living quieter lives makes sense to me with the headspace we know they’re in, Calliope prioritizing her friends and just following and being with them makes all the sense in the world, Rose and Kanaya have their hands full, Terezi isn’t going to be thinking about Earth C for a while. But I gotta look at Dave, Roxy, Dirk, and even Karkat, and wonder..... this is it? What are they doing?

[televinita]

Zoo, 3.03 (super late)

Once upon a time I posted one short Feeling Explosion in the middle of this episode, then forced myself to stop and deal with a work-nado, and before I could claw my way back I heard "Welcome to the O.C., bitch," and that's the last thing I remember before waking up from my coma 6 weeks later. That's my story and I’m sticking to it. Claims that I may have woken up briefly to comment on bits of episodes 4 and 8 are unsubstantiated because officially, until last night I had not yet finished episode 3. (and that is the actual truth. I technically got to the end and a bit beyond, but only because I tore both apart for Mitch/Jamie content just like I feared I would and left the rest to spoil. Guilt may have played a part in my inability to come out of the coma.)

As I am Very Stubborn about not watching the next episode of anything until I have thoroughly spun the last one around in my head, dissected my feelings about it and processed them into text product, and I struggled with what to say, I got stuck in Zoo purgatory. But after an hour of freewriting, I think I have enough babble to feel content. This is mostly for me, but perhaps you’ll enjoy following my journey.

Originally Planned Opening Statement: Hey, remember when this show was was about weird mutant animals and not bizarre government conspiracies to abduct and experiment on children? Because I do. This is not the show I signed up for and it makes my soul feel gross.

(more evidence for the “why I had trouble moving forward” file, I think) Television Parents Council So we're three episodes in and I am really feeling like dramatic anguish is not Alyssa Diaz's strong suit in the acting department. It all feels kind of strained and forced? But hang on, I gotta go be way more outraged about her character's choices, as seen in this live reaction note: "WHAT IN THE FRICKITING FRACK DARIELA WTF. Is this* why you got divorced last time, 'cause I'm gonna have to assume it is seeing's as we literally never got any other reasoning for that random-ass info drop last year and I keep waiting for an explanation." *cheating on her husband

(and oh man, for the first time I am so glad it's these two who got the kid and not Mitch and Jamie, because can you imagine if I had to hear Jamie had cheated on Mitch with Logan and wrecked their relationship that bad? I would perform brain surgery on everyone with a power drill.) (nobody talk at me about the almost as distasteful thing that happened with them)

To be fair to Dariela, she and Abe mostly bonded over having a kid right after they met; I can't really say it feels like she betrayed an epic soulmate bond. I can muster up some sympathy for her feeling lonely and abandoned.)

Except that's not even her last horrible reveal of the episode*. What are you trying to do, run this character I miraculously chose to accept into the ground??

*possibly selling out Clementine to rescue her own kid from a sketchy situation. I will make a lot of allowances for putting yourself and your family's comfort and safety over the needs of strangers, but this does not fall under that header.

But, um, other than that, Papa Lion Abe is intense and amazing and I thought the whole desperate chase-after-the-military-convoy aspect was really well done.

----

Television Parents Council Pt. II Live Reaction Note: "Mitch is a testy bitch in this episode and I love him." (I remember this being debated, but part of the reason I love his Testy Bitch self is what you see at the end of the episode. If he doesn't wrap himself in defensive anger, cling to it like a buoy, the pain of confronting everything he lost and missed will win.) I really love Mitch's two seconds of happiness when he thinks Jamie raised Clem in her fancy penthouse and they ended up thick as thieves. I am less fond of the reality that Max took her away when she turned 14, so the only solace I can take away, before I spiral into that "who TF invited Logan to this party" post we started with is "SWEET HALLELUJAH AT LEAST JAMIE GOT OVER THREE YEARS TO BOND WITH HER." Also, Jamie is so the adult who gives the kids beer to supervise them. I still think it's hilarious that Mitch assumed any adult gave her a beer at 14, because don't most teenagers just have friends who come up with it? I mean, I couldn't even find alcohol on my college campus so I am not the authority on this by any means, but that is the impression I get from books. My point being, I like to think that even in the happy world where 2x12 is the series finale and they had a life together after, this would still have happened and he and Jamie would have had more than one clash regarding her blurring the line between parental authority and friend, and it would have sounded exactly like this, so...thanks Zoo, for accidentally fulfilling my Domestic AU interests in the weirdest possible way! Awww @ Mitch's impatient little "hey" when Clem casts doubt on Jamie's ability to perform brain surgery with a power drill, and then uses that particular tone of voice to tell her it's going to be fine. Awww @ Clem sticking up for Jamie's parenting skills. You know what, just assume that I loved any and everything else that happened when these three were on screen. And I maintain that Jamie, while willing to stop him if he gets too far out of line, also remembers very well what it's like to wake up with missing time where everything's changed and gone wrong, and that means he gets the time and space he needs, within reason, to lash out and come to terms with it while she waits for the worst of the storm to pass. She does point out when Clem's upset, and she checks him with "she turned out okay," but never once do I get the sense that she takes any criticism he lobs at her personally.

(I might have said this before. I tagged wrong and can’t find it.)

--------------------

JKras and Emily Blunt's Alt Reality Doppelgangers (shhh just go with it)

Guess what I started shipping exactly two seconds before we went with the "slapping men across the face isn't domestic violence" trope on top of the "this one piece of information that is not about how you assaulted or killed someone in cold blood invalidates absolutely everything I love about you" trope. It's a two-fer of ship torpedoing. (How do you say no to that face! Look how tragic and sad it is on top of its normal rugged handsomeness and love for helping people! Also, guess who is probably gonna quit shippin' it and throw the lady right back out the door if/when she returns and eliminates Jackson's need to talk to the people I care about. That's just how I unfairly do. The Chloe-shaped hole in my heart won't heal, it's weird.) --------------- I LOVE YOU, MAN

And then this episode ends with Jackson's face lighting up at the sight of Alive!Mitch and glomping on him in a bear hug, and everything is right with the world now that my two faves are together again. ---------------

Yet More Thoughts

-Live reaction note: “I am glad to see that Mitch has shaved the beard and subsequently restored his powers of snark to full glory. They must have been suffocating under that thing.” -I loved Clem's montage of practicing how to tell her dad she's pregnant. These are useful sound bites for alternate takes.

-”Everything went wrong. The world went wrong.” This is somehow the most poetic thing I have ever heard on Zoo? Between the writing and her specific cadence, it sounds like something you'd hear in an award-winning speech, dressed up in voiceovers for trailers; IDK, I just really love it.

-Who even are you Abigail; your name and your hair make me want to get to know you but everything else (including my fandom girl-bros reacting to you with all the love they had for Logan last year and essentially forming a rousing chorus of "Don't need another You Part 2"), very much makes me want to not. -LOOK AT THESE GIANT UGLY WORM TUNNELING DINO-VULTURES, I LOVE THEM. -Mitch's JAMIE WHAT THE FUCK reaction to her stabbing her prisoner through the hand was pretty amazing. -In case you were wondering how appropriate for polite company my reaction to Jackson hotly threatening "I am gonna find you, and I am gonna stop you" is, the answer is "not very." -Quick question: how did Mitch's sacrifice save the world, exactly? I'm fuzzy on this. I wasn't tracking plot very well after Mitch "died" last year, but I thought it was a very personal sacrifice meant to save Clem alone.

-Well. That ending sounds like a fun little sophie's choice of "death vs. memory loss." Looking forward to seeing what episode 12 or 13 does with that. (If you kill him again, all the protection of "reality" in the world won't save you from the worm dino vulture pack I will summon to come after you.)

[oblivion-time]

Milkshake

Because my computer keeps on crashing on me so I did some exploring in my doc full with stories and I found this story I wrote over a year ago. Thought it was time for it to come out and play. This takes place within the Death Child AU and it's how Maka and Soul met. You don't need to have read Death Child to understand this. Enjoy!

Milkshake

Finally. The darkness had fallen and the moon shone and the stars were out as glimmering dots in the night sky. Only the sound of the clock ticking sounded filled the empty hamburger restaurant.

Soul swept the floor from the fries the customers dropped and paper cups teenagers had thrown to the ground and just left. The violin wept in his ear as he kept on sweeping.

The violin came to a soft end and Wes asked. "How did that sound?"

Soul could only roll his eyes. Even though he was trapped in his phone, he managed to get his hands on a violin and played on it whenever he had the chance. He still kept on creating violin pieces even though nobody but him would ever hear them.

"'s like your other pieces. Mom and dad would like it as always."

"But do you like it?" Wes empathised and Soul picked up his phone, seeing Wes excitingly looking at him as if he was a child eagerly waiting to open Christmas presents.

"It's cool. It's excellent like all your other pieces." He was a real musician and a true businessman. He knew what the people wanted and he knew how to deliver it. Every piece he made touched people's hearts just the right way and was appreciated world around by the music community.

"Yeah, but do you think it was too much?"

"You're the one with superior music knowledge. You know these things better than I do."

"But you're my brother. Your opinion matters to me. Especially now when you're the only one who can hear it."

Soul snorted and put the phone back into his pocket, continuing on his sweeping. "It's good. It's a masterpiece as usual."

"But do you really think so and aren't saying it just to get me off your ass―"

The doors slid open and Soul kept on sweeping. "We're closing in a couple of minutes."

"Don't worry. I won't stay too long."

He lifted his eyes from his pile of trash at the young woman entering. Hair in pigtails and her tiny frame drowning in a red knitted sweater. What was a kid doing out this late? Shouldn't she be home doing homework or something?

"A customer is a costumer," he murmured and he swept the trash into a pile when she took a seat by a cleaned table instead of ordering something. From the corner of his eyes, he caught the sight of her burying her face in her hands, running her fingers through her blonde bangs. He collected the trash and threw it into the garbage bag.

Her hands slammed on the table, startling him. "Do you ever just hate your friends?"

Soul cocked his eyebrow at the girl now turned toward him in her seat, clearly expecting some sort of an answer.

He had run with a bad crowd. A crowd he thought cared about him but in fact just used him. Of course he knew.

"Yeah," he confessed as he pulled up the black plastic bag from the can and tied a knot around the top.

"Like, if you tell them no you don't want to go on some random blind date, they should respect that, right?"

"I guess." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Come on, Soul," Wes said from his phone in the pocket. "Talk to her. Seems like she's a young lady in need for someone to talk to and clear her head."

Why him then? Couldn't she just go to her school's counsellor or her parents? He couldn't handle sad girls. Fuck. This was the reason he always hung out with his brother.

Soul turned his back toward the girl as he fished up his phone and raised his eyebrow at his brother's gleeful face. "Ah come on, don't look at me like that. You don't really have any friends and you could have a very positive impact on this girl's life. You've nothing to lose."

Soul rolled his eyes. He had to help this girl out, huh? He wasn't much of a talker and he had no clue how he could make a positive impact on this girl. Heck, if there was something he knew like the back of his hand, it was to mess things up. Throughout his life he had always ruined things for his family and been a huge burden to them. Now he was supposed to help this girl.

How could he even help a young woman like her? He didn't know how to listen and give good advice and all of that jazz. He didn't even know what he would do. He had no clue!

"Like, I don't even want to go on a date with a guy I have never met before. It would be too weird being stuck in a restaurant with someone I'm supposed to get to know and be in a romantic setting with a stranger."

He hadn't ever been on a blind date before, so he couldn't relate. Girls had never been interested in him and he hadn't been interested in them either. It had always been easier just to avoid the whole dating thing. How was he even supposed to give advice to her on something he had no clue about?

That's when it struck him.

He went over to the milkshake machine and quickly whipped up a strawberry milkshake and returned to the girl. Nobody disliked milkshakes, right?

"Sounds like you've a rough time." He placed the milkshake in front of her.

"But I don't have any money with me," she immediately defended.

"It's on me."

Her emerald green eyes widened as she stared at him. Big bright green eyes looked at him astonished. "Thank you." She pulled the milkshake toward her and grabbed the straw, taking a sip of the milkshake.

"Ask her if you should call her parents to get her," Wes said.

"Um, do your parents know you're here?" He returned to the register to start counting the cash. He doubted a teenage girl could beat him down and steal the money. Why not let the girl warm up in here. It was chilly outside and he bet even with the huge sweater, she must've been cold.

"If he did, he would probably be here dragging me back to the dorm."

"Dorm?" The question was thrown out before he had a chance to stop it.

"I live in a college dorm." She sipped on her milkshake, this time turning more toward him so they could talk properly.

"I see."

"Don't just say I see. She's obviously interested in talking to you and she's in college and that can only mean she's of age! Ask her what she's studying." Wes pitched in. "Oh! And while you're at it, place the phone on the counter. I want to see all of this."

Soul mentally rolled his eyes. Of course his brother's mind would go over there. It's not like he wanted his first time to be with some random girl who was nice to him. It… it had to be special.

But he did as his brother said and fished up the phone from his pocket and casually placed it on the counter. Who knew his brother would guide him through the world of talking to girls. Soul never saw it coming for sure.

The task of closing down the restaurant and counting the cash was completely forgotten in favour of talking to this strange girl. It was… it really was a while ago since he talked to someone who wasn't Wes.

"So what's your major?"

"I'm studying law. I'm on my second year."

"Law major," Wes cued. "That's impressive. And she's pretty cute."

She was pretty cute. Her eyes were a rich green reminding him of freshly cut grass and the avocado on the sushi he enjoyed to eat so much. Sandy natural blonde hair and not the bleached damaged hair he saw a lot of girls rock. Her lips a rich pink from the milkshake. She was indeed a beautiful sight.

"How about you?"

His eyes fluttered before he shook his head. "I'm not going to college." He hadn't even finished high school.

"So you haven't decided yet?"

Yeah he wasn't going to college. He didn't have the energy to pick up his studies and pass high school just to continue hell by going to college. He wasn't nearly as ambitious as the young woman in front of him. He could only imagine all the hard work she had to put in in order to go to college as a law major. "Something along those lines."

"How old are you?"

"22. You?"

"You don't ask for a woman's age―"

"21." Wes's hiss was quickly cut off by Maka's straight up answer. Wes let out a quick sigh. "You didn't go to Shibusen High, did you?"

Soul could only chuckle. "That obvious?"

"No, it's just my friends are older so I think I should've seen you before. You're… memorable."

He leaned on the counter and chuckled. "Yeah, I stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd."

"But it's not bad." She placed her now empty milkshake on the table. "I mean, it is unusual, I've never met someone with white hair and red eyes, but it looks good on you."

"Ohhhh! Did you hear that, bro?! She's attracted to you!" Wes whooped loudly in his ear, celebrating it as if him and the woman had announced a pregnancy or something just as extravagant. "You totally got to ask her out."

Hell no he wasn't. There was a huge difference between finding someone attractive and a polite way of saying you don't look like a freak, her way was definitely like the later. A successful and beautiful woman like her would under no circumstances be into someone with his looks and flips burger. There had to be so many good guys in her law class hitting on her and all. Who knew, she might even have a boyfriend or she might not be guy orientated at all.

"I bet you haven't met someone with my teeth either." He flashed his teeth, expecting some kind of horrified expression but instead, her eyes widened with curiosity.

"Wow." She shot up from her seat and crossed the space up to the register. She took a closer look at his teeth, and she didn't look at them with fear or disgust, just amazement. "Did you get them filled in?"

"No. They're natural."

"No way! That's really cool." Her eyes seemingly twinkled as she admired his mouth from every angle. "They look so sharp."

"Because they are."

"Look at you conversing so effortlessly with a girl. Ask if she wants a ride back to the dorms. Maybe she will even reward you with a date." He could just hear the flirtation in his voice as if he could transmit his thirst to Soul. This chick wasn't interested in him like that. She didn't do the winking or fluttered her eyes excessively as if she had dust in her eyes. She was just… curious.

But he couldn't deny the fact she was attractive and maybe he was a little interested in her. But just a little! He wasn't even sure, he had never had a girl admire his features like she dis. It was… heart-warming. He felt special and he liked it.

A soft melody played and the girl fished up her phone from her black jeans and unlocked it. Her eyes almost rolled into her head as she seemingly read a text. "I got to get going back to the dorms before my friends start turning the city upside down looking for me." She put the phone back into her pocket. "It was nice meeting you and thanks for the milkshake. It really did lift my spirit."

"You're welcome." He waved it away.

"Come on bro, ask if she needs a ride back to the dorms. It's dark and a young lady shouldn't be walking alone."

Yeah right. The girl had managed to get here and he was sure she could manage get back in one piece.

A smile played on her lips as she waved goodbye and exited the restaurant.

…

He was sure he wouldn't see the girl ever again. Sure this was all just a nice conversation to her, but his next shift his colleague told him a girl wearing pigtails had asked when his next shift would be.

It had stunned and flustered him to the point he had to go to the bathroom to calm down his racing heart. He must've left a good impression on her or else she wouldn't want to see him, right? If she just wanted a burger, she wouldn't have asked about him. He didn't dare to get his hopes up because she really was a sweet girl and he enjoyed their chat, it was surely just small talk with the cashier, right?

He couldn't get the blonde girl out of his head. Her cute twinkling eyes as she examined his teeth and the vague freckles on her nose. Just thinking of her sweet and warming smile made his heart racing.

For such a long time, he had just had his brother, before and after the accident, now, he had suddenly connected with this strange girl, and they connected well. He… he kind of regretted not asking for her name. He bet it was beautiful.

His brother didn't help him with his developing crush on the pigtailed girl. Wes was always notorious for his teasing and now when he liked a girl, it was like tossing gas on a flame. Every sentence was about her. He encouraged him to take detours passed the collage so he could possibly run into her. He didn't exactly enjoy going to crowded places and have children unknowingly screaming out their curiosity about him toward their parent and either receive a just stay away from him or some are unfortunate with hideous looks. It was a situation he would like to avoid. That was why he worked night shifts and was in the kitchen instead at the cash register.

It was night once again and he swept the floor once again from the trash the customers had dropped. The night was calm and he kept on cleaning to the pleasant sound of Wes's violin in his ear.

The automatic double doors slid open.

"We're closing soon."

"I promise I won't stay for too long."

He stiffened. It was like déjà vu as his gaze slowly went to the strange woman standing in the entrance in a black trench coat and cute red scarf. She smiled gently toward him and she raised her hand where a bill was.

"I bought money this time."

"She's back! She's totally into you! You gotta ask her out or at least give her a ride home this time!" Wes hooted in his ear.

He was left speechless. He could barely believe it. She was here! He really didn't expect her to return here, sure, his colleague had said she asked about his next shift― but he still didn't think she would return! Let alone now.

Silently he went over to the cash register and she went up to it and placed the bill on the desk. "Two strawberry milkshakes, please." He couldn't help but notice heat rising from her neck to her cheeks.

He took the money and grabbed the first cup, went over to the milkshake machine.

"And, um," the blonde gulped as she fiddled with the hem of her purple turtleneck. "Maybe… you would want to go, well, I read about this good movie on the web and it had gotten quite good reviews and maybe… you would want to go and watch it. With me."

He accidentally spilled the milkshake and turned toward her.

What had she just said?

"I can't believe you got asked out?!" Wes gushed with joy in his ear and broke out playing a happily melody on his violin. "You got to accept!"

"It's just…" she kept on fiddling with the hem of her shirt nervously. "… you seem like you're a nice person and well, it would be cool to hang out with you."

Was this really happening to him? He couldn't quite wrap his mind around the idea that she wanted to hang out with him. It made him… happy. Really, really happy. He had never really had anyone willingly hang out with him except for his brother.

He awakened from his shock and he wiped the milkshake mess on his pant and grabbed a new cup. "Sure." He made two new milkshakes and placed them on the counter.

"Really? That's great!" She beamed with joy and she pulled out a pen from her jacket. She started scribbling down digits on one of the milkshakes and she pushed it toward him. "Here's my number."

"Wait, but it's yours." He pushed the milkshake toward her.

"You paid for mine a couple days ago. It's yours."

His heart fluttered pleasantly and he could only gaze at her phone number on his cup. He did have a phone, but it was taken by his brother and didn't work. How the fuck would he manage to call her?

"Do you have one?"

Soul cocked his eyebrow with confusion.

"A phone number?"

"Oh." Soul massaged his neck.

"Just tell her the truth," Wes said in his ear.

"My phone's broken. I haven't bought a new one yet." Soul fished up the phone and waved the broken screen at her.

"Oh, okay, but you better call me!" She pouted and she looked beyond adorable.

"Don't worry. When you see a creepy phone number from a pay phone, you'll know it's me."

She raised her milkshake. "Cheers to pay phones and milkshakes."

Soul chuckled and raised his cup, gently bumped his cup with hers. "Cheers to…?"

"Maka. Maka Albarn."

"Cheers to you, Maka Albarn."

[waitineedaname]

Balance

SkamFicWeek:

Day 6: wedding guests AU

Pairing: Jonas/Mikael

AO3

“Isak, for the love of god, please get off of me.”

“Jonas-” Isak dragged the ‘o’ out far longer than he would normally, his breath smelling of expensive champagne. “Jonas, you’re my best friend. Have I told you that? You mean so much to me.”

“I kind of guessed as much when you made me your best man.”

“You’re the bestestest man. I love you.” Isak hugged him sloppily and Jonas grunted. “As a bro. A bro love.”

“I bro love you too, man. Now go find to your husband, okay?”

“My husband! Oh my god, I have a husband.”

“Yes you do, and he’s probably looking for you, so why don’t you go find him.” That was finally enough to get Isak to pull himself off of Jonas and stumble into the crowd. Jonas sighed in relief and heard a soft huff of laughter to his side. He looked over and found Mikael smiling crookedly, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

“He’s been enjoying his reception, huh?” Mikael asked, taking the seat next to Jonas.

“Yeah,” Jonas snorted. “A bit too much.”

“Hey, I can’t blame him. The bartender is talented.” Mikael waved his cocktail a bit as if to demonstrate the bartender’s talents. Jonas’s eyes narrowed.

“Is… Is that a Shirley Temple?”

“Don’t you dare give me that look, this thing is delicious.”

“Yeah, but it’s a Shirley Temple.”

“Shirley Temple was a talented child actress and a magnificent diplomat, and the drink named after her is as awesome as she was.” Mikael looked like he was trying to seem serious as he took a sip of his drink, but the yellow umbrella sticking out of the glass and the smile he was struggling to hide ruined the effect somewhat.

Jonas snorted softly. He liked Mikael. They didn’t know each other very well - only really seeing each other when both of their groups of friends got together - but he knew enough about him; he knew he was clever and something of a smartass from the snarky comments he’d heard him throw at friends, and that he was also kindhearted and fiercely loyal. He knew he and Even had been friends since they were little kids - longer than he and Isak had known each other, in fact - and he filmed and edited the films Even directed. He knew he was important enough to Even to be made best man, which made him important to Jonas by extension. Despite all that, however, this was the first conversation they’d held together just between the two of them.

“They’re really happy together, aren’t they.” Mikael said, nodding to where the newlyweds were holding each other like they were the only people in the crowded room. It wasn’t really a question, but Jonas nodded anyway.

“Yeah, they are. I’m glad they have each other.”

“You know, it’s weird,” Mikael leaned back in his seat, shaking his hair out of his face. Jonas was oddly mesmerized by the sight, then confused as to why that was, “I’ve known Even since we were really little. It’s weird seeing him like this and knowing he’s the same kid that was like this tall-” He held his hand a short distance above the floor. “-and tried to carry me home because I scraped my knee. Or the thirteen year old covered in acne that hit his growth spurt before everyone else. Or-” A sad look flickered in his eyes. “-the teenager I almost lost. And yet-” His smile returned in its softest form. “-here he is, dancing with his husband. To Gabrielle, what the fuck, who let him choose the playlist.” He added with a grimace upon realizing what was playing through the speakers.

Jonas watched him for a minute; the solemnity of what Mikael had just said was weighing on him, and he wasn’t sure why, but he felt like he needed to do something about it. “When I look at Isak, I see a six year old with hair down to his butt crying because the teacher moved our chairs away from each other. I see him when he was twelve and-” He couldn’t help but laugh a little as he said it. “-he had to wear these really horrible braces. And I see him-” He sobered up; Mikael had just bared his heart to him, even if it was just one sentence. He needed to return the favor. “-I see him having a panic attack because his dad just left and his mom is having a breakdown, and he didn’t feel ready to grow up so young.”

Mikael stared at him, his brown eyes wide and mystified. Jonas had to force himself not to squirm under his gaze. Slowly, a lopsided smile began to form on his face. “Come on,” He said, hopping to his feet, “Let’s go to the bar and I’ll buy you a Shirley Temple.”

----

Jonas isn’t quite sure how it happened, but somehow he and Mikael had managed to migrate from the bar to the grassy field behind the hotel. They were both on their backs, suit jackets under their heads as pillows, and smoking. The weed soothed every tense muscle in Jonas’s body and he relaxed into the soft grass, comfortable next to Mikael’s warm presence.

“You’re working in politics, right?” He could feel Mikael’s eyes on him, but he kept his own closed.

“Mhm.”

“What’s that like?”

“Exhausting.” Jonas sighed, opening his eyes to look up at the stars. “You’d think people would go into politics because they want to work for the people, but no. They’re just in it to be greedy.”

“You sound like a real humanitarian.” Jonas looked over at him, surprised, and found him gazing back intently, the slightest smile on his face. “You’re what we need in politics, honestly. That drive for helping people, not money.”

“Yeah, well…” Jonas trailed off and shrugged. Maybe it was the booze still thrumming in his system, or the weed in his lungs, or the strange way Mikael was looking at him, but he couldn’t find the words he would have normally. Mikael broke the eye contact after a long moment, his smile suddenly a little shy, and he put out his joint in the wine glass they’d brought out.

“That just seems wrong.” Jonas commented, attempting to dispel the strange air around them. Mikael laughed a little.

“No, that’s like… an aesthetic. Like, symbolizing the contrast between rebellious teenagerhood and dignified adulthood. If the lighting was better, I’d probably take a picture of it. Post it with some esoteric quote. Get six million likes. Have it featured on Buzzfeed’s photos of the week - because it’s not quite sophisticated enough to be featured by Time or anything.” Mikael’s brow was furrowed in concentration as he spoke, and Jonas was pretty sure that was the most he’d ever heard him say without interruption.

Jonas stared at him for a long minute, then burst into laughter. Just like that, the weird spell Mikael had set over them both was broken and he was laughing too, looking far too pleased with himself. “God, you’re worse than Even.” Jonas finally managed to say.

“I don’t know if that’s the best insult or the worst compliment.” Mikael giggled. “Wait- Well, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Jonas said, even though he wasn’t sure he did, “I know what you mean.”

Mikael’s laugh slowed and eventually tapered off into a soft smile. Everything about him was soft, Jonas was beginning to realize. His smiles, his voice, his laugh, his eyes, his hair. It was making him feel soft too.

“Do you like filmmaking?” He asked. Something in him said there was another question he wanted to ask instead, but he couldn’t think of what it was.

“Yeah.” It was Mikael’s turn to face the stars. “I have so many ideas, you know? Like-” He paused and let a breath out into the air, trying to form his thoughts. “Like there are entire galaxies of stories hiding just out of sight, and I have to do my best to form them. Find the perfect shot for the glimpses into the galaxies I get in my mind’s eye, or edit it so smoothly that it actually feels like how it feels when I’m seeing the story as I fall asleep.” He spoke quietly, his voice hushed by wonder. His eyes were turned towards the sky, as if they were trying to find the stories amongst the constellations. Jonas thought if he looked hard enough, he might be able to see them hidden in Mikael’s eyes.

“It’s hard.” Mikael added after a few minutes of silence. “It’s really hard. It can be so frustrating, because sometimes the image I have is so vivid, but I just can’t get it right. But-” There was a peaceful smile at the quirk of his lips. “Every now and then, maybe one in a thousand shots, I’ll manage to get it perfectly, and it’s… it’s the best feeling. There’s nothing quite like it. It’s like… everything had been off kilter, and then with this one shot, I put it back in balance.”

Jonas was staring at him, but he didn’t think Mikael noticed; there was a dreamy look in his eyes, the moon reflecting onto his pupils.

Jonas could blame it on any number of things. The alcohol, the drugs, the night air. But then he’d be lying to himself. It was Mikael - all Mikael. Mikael’s soft smiles and low voice. It was his soft brown hair splayed out behind him like a halo, and the way he stared at the stars like every single one of them held a story. It was the way he spoke in holy reverence of his work - the way he seemed to genuinely love what he did.

Jonas sat up, leaned over him, and kiss Mikael flat on the lips.

Mikael didn’t respond for half a second, but that’s all it was: half a second. And then he was kissing back - slowly, languidly - and humming against Jonas’s lips. His long, slender fingers - artist’s fingers, Jonas thought - slid into his curls and held him there.

Lying there, on the grass outside his best friend’s wedding, kissing the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen, Jonas could feel the world turn on its axis.

Under the stars, Jonas felt everything fall back into balance.

[queenlua]

cool stuff i noticed while rereading the script of Inception

I wasn't planning to write this all tonight, but uh, I really love inception y'all.

NOLAN’S WRITERLY FLAWS

Here's a lengthy bit from the original script, which got cut from the movie:

MILES Everybody dreams, Cobb. Architects are supposed to make those dreams real.

COBB That's not what you used to say. You told me that in the real world I'd be building attic conversions and gas stations. You said that if I mastered the dream-share I'd have a whole new way of creating and showing people my creations. You told me it would free me.

Miles looks at Cobb, sad.

MILES And I'm sorry. I was wrong.

COBB No, you weren't. Your vision was a vision of pure creativity. It's where we took it that was wrong.

It's a rare glimpse into a side of Cobb we don't really see in the movie—young, drawn to the idea of pure creation, to all the beautiful high-minded concepts behind this dream-sharing business. You can almost feel Nolan himself, giddy, beneath this—as a creator that's got to be one of the coolest parts of this whole idea of dream-sharing; hell, when I first saw this move in The Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Ten, I went straight home and started writing some fanfiction, not about any of the characters, but about the intensity of feeling behind sharing dreams, what it would mean to create in that way—

—and it was totally right not to stick it in the film, because though Inception is a beautiful film with beautiful ideas, it's a heist movie at heart, and it has to focus on the pragmatic while giving the lofty beauty of it all a sly wink. The "youthful idealist architect Cobb" only comes across in subtext—a slight lightness in his step during his training sessions with Ariadne, maybe a bit when musing over what would draw the intense and beautiful Mal to him.

Here's another bit—from the scene when Cobb is having his final confrontation with Mal, and she's trying to convince him to stay in limbo with her. I italicized / surrounded with asterisks the bit that got cut:

MAL So certain of your world. Of what's real. Do you think he is- (points at Cobb) Or do you think he's as lost as I was?

COBB I know what's real.

***MAL What are the distinguishing characteristics of a dream? Mutable laws of physics? Tell that to the quantum physicists. Reappearance of the dead? What about heaven and hell? Persecution of the dreamer, the creator, the messiah? They crucified Christ, didn't they?***

COBB I know what's real.

MAL No creeping doubts? Not feeling persecuted, Dom? Chased around the globe by anonymous corporations and police forces? The way the projections persecute the dreamer?

Gosh, that line is just... what? We have this super-emotionally-charged moment, the make-it-or-break-it for Cobb to wrest his way from Mal's grasp, and we're throwing in random references to quantum physics and Christiainty??? It made the cutting board, as it should have.

But what I like about these lines is that they show us Nolan's rough edges—and it's Nolan the goddamn nerd, who loved Star Wars as a kid and talked about The Matrix a lot when talking about this movie and, based on his writing style, I honestly suspect is a little bit of a closet anime nerd. This is a guy who's really jazzed about ideas, who veers on the side of babbling too much about a beloved topic, or just reaaaaally wants that physics reference in there because of the cool parallels with the other ideas. I love it.

He also tends to add awkward touches of melodrama when left to his own devices. A line like "I performed [inception] on my wife and reaped the bitter rewards" gets transformed, with Leo's quiet humanity, into "I knew inception was possible because I did it to her first." Which gets a little into "what the actors brought to the movie", which I'll get into later.

I have a pet theory that what draws people to, say, a favorite author, or a favorite filmographer, is a love for both what they do well and their flaws. I was struck by this when reading a review of the Sea of Fertility tetraology, by my favorite author, and found myself basically agreeing with the review—the only difference was, the shit that drove the reviewer crazy were the things that gripped me in weird ways, that I recognized as flawed but still enjoyed warmly. Mishima's writing is melodramatic and Isao comes across as weirdly robotic and his pretenses at intellectualization come across as strained and confused—those were all things that drew me in deeper.

Which is not an argument against editors, and doing the Actual Right Thing; this is stuff that very rightly made the cutting board. But when it's a tough call for what the right way forward is, Nolan goes a little bit dorky, a little bit melodramatic, and those tiny moments are delectable.

MAKING EMOTIONAL SENSE

Something that struck me, when I rewatched Inception this weekend: Cobb's description of inception on Mal doesn't entirely make sense. It's not quite impossible according to the rules of the script, but it intuitively seems like performing inception in limbo is a very different thing than doing it from within a dream. He refers to having built everything in limbo; why would anything in limbo relate to specific parts of one mind? And it seems like it'd be easier to trace the genesis of the idea when you're right there in limbo with them when they do it, I'd think?

The point isn't whether it makes sense or not—I'm sure nerds on the argument could argue either side—but the point is that you don't even question the mechanics of it when it's described, because it made complete emotional sense. All through the movie, we've been getting hints that something terrible happened, some subtle thing Cobb's got stored away—and when we finally see it, with that choice imagery, oh, lifting the little locked-away top in Mal's home and spinning it—makes you say oh, makes you gasp, brings it together.

I went to a talk once by one of the writers of Lost, and he talked about this concept in the context of the episode "The Constant." Basically (as is tragically typical with Lost), a character's gotten his consciousness stuck in some sort of bizarre time loop, he keeps flashing back for longer and longer periods of time, and he's gonna die if he can't cut out this "simultaneously stuck in two time periods" thing. So a physics-y character says that Desmond needs to contact a "constant", something present in both time periods, so he can "stabilize" his mental state, and who does he call but his ex-girlfriend.

Does that make a goddamn lick of sense? No, not really. But the show'd already gotten us incredibly invested in this relationship between Desmond and Penny, they've been hinting for a while that Penny's been desperately looking for Desmond, and Desmond's love for her is really heart-melting, and they're using a science-y word ("a constant! like gravity's a constant, bro!"), and the feeling of something converging is the thing that really carries the moment. Lost pulled this kind of shit a lot, really, and it explains a lot of the divisiveness of the show. Invariably when I talk to people who liked Lost, they're usually watching for character, and freely confess the plot wasn't even trying to make sense after season two but that's so not the point. If you were focusing on the plot, you were doomed to be disappointed.

I want to spend more time thinking about this—how you construct something that makes "emotional sense." Do it wrong and there's just a gaping plot hole or bizarre deus ex machina that's going to irk everyone watching it. And, to be clear, I actually don't think these sorts of scenes work in spite of the vagueness/implausibility, but because of it—the important thing in Cobb's moment of inception is the beautiful resonance of that spinning top, the important thing in that Lost episode is the feeling that somehow, some way, love can be the thing that grounds you and saves you. Maybe that's the answer, really—you have to earn it in some other way. Lost earned it by pouring so much attention into Desmond's backstory, and his love for Penny, and the brief desperate glances we got into her search for him—to the point where we were yearning for a resolution. Inception did it in a more Nolanesque way, with its wonderful, precise control of exactly what is on the screen at all times—leading to a the confluence of motifs coming together all at once. Cobb repeats "an idea is like a virus", we see Mal's house again, we see the top, and the salt-swept shores of Limbo and the pair of them clinging to each other, all coming together at once.

WHAT LEO BROUGHT TO COBB

I get the sense, reading the script, that Cobb was meant to be a more, uh, "edgy"/dark/moody-teenage-protagonist-esque character than he actually became. There's just touches, here and there, in the script. There's a scene where, in the movie, Arthur sympathetically says, "I know how much you want to go home." In the movie, Arthur's posture is closed-off, and he's staring out a window, and says nothing until Arthur talks again. In the script though, Cobb cuts him off with a sharp "No, you don't." Touchy, tetchy.

Or how about this bit:

Cobb GRABS SAITO AND PUTS HIS HEAD TO THE FLOOR, gun pressed into his cheek. Saito looks into Cobb's eyes--sees he will pull the trigger. Saito BLINKS, looks away in shame. When he NOTICES SOMETHING. And starts LAUGHING.

Oh man, Cobb is so tough, making the tough Japanese businessman look away in shame—

—except, in the movie, at this point Cobb's getting totally desperate, and instead of playing it deadly-cool, he's waving a gun and fucking screaming at Saito, "TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW! TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW NOW!", and Saito performs no "look of shame."

The other instances are more slight and tedious to cite, but—there's moments in the script where Cobb was supposed to hold a broody stare, and instead got flustered and cut into the next topic right off, moments when he's giving cocky grins that turn more poker-face-y in the movie.

It gives you an appreciation for really good actor can do, what they're bringing to the movie—the subtle changes of expression, turns of phrase, ways they hold themselves can change so much of the mood and feel of a character. I don't think of Cobb as like, the Greatest Character Ever, but as an anchor for the movie, he's pretty solid and rather unique—not quite cold-and-aloof-tragic-past type, not quite the hard-edged-bristly-loner type—something more mature, more weathered, more adult. He comes across as a touch more cerebral, a touch more intense, and those touches resonate really well with what's a reasonably cerebral and a very intense movie.

EXPOSITION IS HARD

Inception is an exposition-heavy movie.  I remember it all flowing seamlessly when I first watched it, but on re-watches it does feel like a bit much, and sometimes awkward (Arthur explaining the concept of limbo while in a shouting match with Cobb, urgh).

But it's interesting how much more there is that didn't even make it into the movie—tons more slips of awkward exposition that got cut. For instance, in the script verion of Cobb's visit to France, when he's trying to get the professor to get him an architect, there's a whole conversation that lays out the “what happened between Cobb and Mal” alarmingly baladly:

COBB I know. I thought you could talk to Marie about bringing them on vacation. Somewhere I could meet--

MILES Why would she listen to me?

COBB You were married for twenty years.

MILES She blames me as much as you.

COBB Doesn't she understand that my kids need me?

MILES Yes, she does. We all do. Go back and face the music, Dom. Explain what Mal did.

COBB Be realistic, Stephen. They'd never understand− they'd lock me up and throwaway the key. Or worse.

MILES You think what you're doing now is helping your case?

COBB Lawyers don't pay for themselves.

I'm glad that didn't make the movie—we get the sense that something happened, but we don't know Mal did something, and while it's made obvious Cobb can't go back to America due to a crime, he doesn't drop a line like "lock me up and throw away the key" ick, etc.

Perhaps Nolan deliberately wrote in more exposition than necessary, with the idea he could cut it based on what sort of context the actors could imply with their actions? The trickiest thing with writing exposition, I think, is that whole "the writer already knows everything" bit—how do you determine what people need to know, and when, and how, when you've already got the whole picture and the pieces seem so obvious to you? I've received praise on some of my original fantasy writing for executing well on this sort of thing—but (1) I think it's goddamn impossible to do much fantasy/scifi writing at all without gaining chops in this area; it's the central challenge of the genres, and (2) I think it's easier in a prose setting—you can toss in throwaway words and references more easily, adding texture and feel without actually following up on it, whereas a movie is crunched for time and every word/reference/etc usually has to count, materially advancing the plot and the reader's understanding.

[dcvalentineexchange]

Happy Valentine's Day, Bro

For my amazing Valentine, Casey @just-thought-you-ought-to-know

From @amazinglymyan

Description: It’s Valentine’s Day and Wally is sad. Dick decides to be a bro and cheer him up

Shout out to my wonderful editor. I couldn’t have done it without you. @sleepdivestiture

—

Dick shot an apologetic look at the teenage cashier who looked like she really wanted to murder them, but couldn’t. Cause, ya’ know, that’s against the law.

Dick and Wally were supposed to be having their movie night tonight. They’d been on a mission for a few days, and just wanted to have a nice relaxing few hours where they weren’t fighting for their life.

“Wally, can you just choose something so we can leave?” Dick pleaded, leaning dramatically onto the cart.

“Which one should I get?” He asked, holding up the two different types of chips.

“Why not both?”

“Good point,” he said, throwing both of them into the cart.

“Thank god. Can we leave now?”

Wally shrugged, a smirk playing across his lips. “Race you to the check-out.”

Dick narrowed his eyes. “No cheating.”

“What? Me? Never,” Wally put a hand over his heart to feign hurt.

“Yeah, sure,” Dick said sarcastically, turning the cart around to face where the registers were.

“On the count of three,” Wally said, and Dick nodded in response.

“One-” Dick started.

“Two-” Wally continued.

“Three!” They shouted together.

Wally sprinted off, and Dick put his foot on the bottom of the cart, pushing himself down the aisle. He chuckled as he went past some confused parents. Their kids were going to get some ideas. He wasn’t looking where he was going for a second, and ran into something.

Dick quickly stopped the cart, looking down at Wally, who was now splayed across the floor.

“Owww,” he groaned.

“Whoops,” Dick muttered, coming around the cart to help him off the floor. “Why’d you stop?”

Once Wally was back on his feet and had wiped all the dust off his butt, he pointed down the aisle that was full of Valentine’s day items.

“Yeah?” He asked in confusion. “What about it?”

“I didn’t realize it was so close to Valentine’s Day,” Wally muttered with a shrug.

“Walls, It’s the thirteenth,” Dick pointed out, showing the date on his phone.

“I was so busy with the mission that it didn’t really cross my mind,” he said sadly, running a hand through his hair.

Dick let out a small sigh, putting a hand on his best friend’s shoulder. Artemis and Wally had decided to take a break a few months ago. Artemis was on a dangerous mission, and thought it would be better for them to be on a hiatus. Wally understood, but it didn’t make things any easier. This was the first Valentine’s Day they weren’t going to be together in years.

“Hey, c’mon now. Cheer up. She said it’s only a break. She had good reasons, too. You guys will be back together soon. And, until then, you have me,” Dick smiled, motioning his hand up and down his body.

Wally shook his head, a small smile playing across his lips. “Good to know I can always count on you.”

“Hey, bros before hoes,” Dick smiled back. “C’mon, let’s go check out.”

Wally looked back down the aisle longingly. He missed Artemis. She’d been on the high-stakes mission for months, and would be on it for quite a few more. He hated not knowing if she was okay or not.

Dick let out a breath. “Go get some.”

“Huh?” Wally asked in confusion.

“Just get some chocolate. We can eat it while we’re watching the movie later,” he said, tilting his head toward the heart-shaped boxes of chocolates.

A grin spread across Wally’s face. “You’re the best,” he said, before running down the aisle, grabbing random boxes as he ran.

Dick put his face in his hands. “My paycheck is going to regret this,” he muttered as he watched his friend go nuts.

Once Wally was done picking everything out, he had seven boxes of chocolates, and a huge stuffed animal.

“I said chocolates, not toys.”

“Yeah, but I’m lonely. I need something to cuddle when I can’t sleep at night.”

Dick tilted his head back and let out an exasperated noise. “Fine,” he groaned, watching Wally’s eyes light up. “Get to check out before I change my mind.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. He skipped off to the closest register, which just so happened to be the poor girl that had been watching them earlier.

They loaded the two DVDs, popcorn, chips, chocolates, and stuffed animal onto the conveyer belt. The girl stared at everything for a second before finally starting to scan the items.

“You know, cops don’t get payed as much as you might think,” Dick pointed out as he pulled the wallet out.

“Yeah, but Bruce is also loaded, so you can just get a loan.”

“I’m not a freeloader, Wally,” he retorted, running his credit card through the machine once the girl had finished scanning everything.

“You could’ve fooled me,” he laughed. “Ow!” He muttered, rubbing his side when Dick elbowed him.

The girl smiled at them while Dick grabbed the bags. “You guys make a cute couple,” she commented, making the two splutter for a second.

“Thanks,” Dick said nonchalantly, placing the bags in the cart.

Wally sighed as they walked out into the parking lot. “Why does everyone think we’re dating?”

“I don’t know. You’re not my type, anyways.”

“I’m a redhead,” Wally pointed out. He just shook his head, pushing the cart to his car. “I’m not arguing with you.”

“You have fun when our apparent relationship makes it onto the headlines,” Wally joked. “No, but imagine it, Dick,” he made a grand revealing gesture with his hands.“Richard Grayson, Bludhaven’s newest cop, and Bruce Wayne’s adoptee, gets together with ANOTHER random redhead.”

“Just get in the fucking car.”

***

An hour later, the two were sitting on Dick’s couch, a few minutes into Rogue One. “You know, this isn’t the first time we’ve been mistaken as a couple,” Dick said around a mouthful of popcorn, thinking back to what had happened at the store.

“What’s your point?” Wally asked, his eyes not leaving the screen.

“Well, they usually have Valentine’s Day discounts for couples.”

Wally looked over, his eyes widening in realization. “Free food,” he muttered.

“Free food,” Dick nodded.

“Let’s do it,” Wally grinned.

***

“You know, this isn’t what I thought you meant when you said that you were taking me out for Valentine’s Day,” Wally muttered.

“Are you really complaining?”

“No, not particularly,” He responded, munching on the chocolate covered marshmallow. Dick had taken him to a restaurant that was having a couple’s chocolate day. There was fondue, and later they’d be making chocolate hearts that they got to decorate for each other. “You know, this is actually kind of nice,” he said, sticking a strawberry under the flow of chocolate.

“Would you say this is a satisfactory Valentine’s day with your best ‘boyfriend’?” Dick said, putting air quotes around boyfriend.

“Of course,” Wally laughed.

***

Dick couldn’t stop laughing. This was too much.

They had been told that they had to write something on their heart shaped chocolate that represented their relationship. Wally had immediately started writing something with the white icing they’d been given, without even consulting with Dick. Once he had finished writing, he turned it to reveal what he’d written.

‘How do you get Dick from Richard?’ It read. Dick snorted before starting to write on his.

‘You ask me nicely!’ He wrote, and now the two of them were cracking up so much that the chocolatier was asking if they were okay.

They were not okay.

***

Later that night, the two boys were making their way to Dick’s car. They’d gone out for a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant.

“Thanks, Dick. I had fun. The most fun I’ve had in awhile.”

“No problem, Walls. No one deserves to be alone on Valentine’s Day.”

They both hopped into the car, and Dick started up the ignition.

“I just-” he let out a hopeless shrug. “I’ve been really down ever since Artemis left for her mission. It’s been really hard not having her around all the time, and I miss her like crazy. I get that it’s an important mission, and that she can’t contact me, but it’s hard ya’know.”

Dick nodded, turning to his best friend. “Trust me, I completely understand. And, hey, if you ever need someone to talk to, just remember that I’m always just a call away. Even if I’m on patrol, you can call me. I might not be able to be at your doorstep in two seconds, but you can always talk to me. I know how hard it is to miss a girlfriend.”

“I know,” Wally nodded. “Thank you, again.”

“Anything for my fake boyfriend.” Dick grinned, pulling out of the parking space.

This had to be one of the best Valentine’s Day the both of them had in awhile.

[biwikrie]

everything that’s going wrong in my life because i am bitter

the move

ok so i recently moved from japan back to the US and everything is so jacked up here and far apart. i mean sure, i kinda like it here, but since i know no one and am unable to actually go anywhere, i cant really do anything. not to mention that im not accustomed to anything in the US and everyone just expects me to know things and relate when i’ve literally been in the US for like two-ish maybe months after 5 years in JAPAN. hhhh stressful. also, i don’t have anything from my room in japan. it’s not even packed up. so i’m going to be sleeping on an air mattress until at least december. 

school

when i say that my school is small, i mean too small. we have a 2300+ student body, but a main hallway that only accommodates 1500-ish people. it’s almost impossible to walk to my classes and just as difficult to find a seat during lunch. also, i’m apparently ahead of my grade level in most things, so i’m fully just breezing through this year and cant change my classes because i couldn’t get the summer work for honors, and can’t take english and history classes for 11th graders. so my student transcript is going to be shit because i went from honors world history and literature to regular 10th grade world history and english. plus, i’m always the first to finish the tests and shit in my alg2 class, while sitting in the back because im too terrified of the giants that are 11th graders to sit anywhere else. i can’t really talk with anybody in most of my classes because they assume i’m a freshman and are just weirded out that such a small kid is in their class. 

friends / lack thereof

boy oh boy. the other reason i cant find a seat during lunch is because its divided into 3 different periods. i have third (last) lunch, which is also right after my alg2 class, which is full of 11th graders. so my tiny self is walking down the hall to the cafeteria surrounded by these tall 11th graders with no way of talking to them. so i just kinda sit “alone” at the peanut allergy table (when i say alone, i mean that im surrounded by upperclassmen as i try to take up as little space as possible while reading my book. 

let’s also talk about how all but one friend from japan probably forgot about me. so, shout out to paul for sticking to his promise of sending me a snap of him sending an “encouragement snap” using his mickey mouse voice. but because of the time difference, i can’t really speak in the group chat, and since they all live near each other and see each other everyday at school, they don’t really need to ever use the group chat. i have absolutely no one to vent to, and the only thing i can really talk about is bad stuff. so fuck me. 

i get 12000 crushes a day

SPEAKING OF FUCK ME: i, at 8:38 pm on thursday, august 31st, 2017, have 6 crushes. time to elaborate i guess. 

joseph/joey is in my chemistry class and my world history class. he’s pretty funny and i think i remember him from way back when i first lived in florida. he has this really interesting voice and laugh, and his hair has this little swoosh that goes straight up. only problem is that he kind of reminds me of yosuke and i can’t stand having him [joey] standing/sitting to my left.

dylan is in my art class. we talked for maybe two minutes on the first day and we still see each other everyday, but don’t talk. he got moved to a different table. he has a really deep voice that i absolutely love listening to. me and him occasionally look at each other when we’re confused by what the teacher is saying and have a little laugh. he’s only taking art because he needs a fine art to graduate. we dont talk, but we have this kind of unspoken agreement to do this dumb fake smile thing when we first see each other (but my gotdamn crush on him makes me go from fake smiling to blushing like an idiot). sometimes in class, i’ll catch him looking at me, and i don’t know if its my obnoxious teenage girl brain, but i think he might want to talk to me?? but oh my god he’s really pretty. like model status pretty. 

dj is also in my art class, but he also rides my bus. i know for a fact that he doesn’t like me. he doesn’t even know me. but he has bushy eyebrows and purple-ish curly hair. and oh my god when he laughs its amazing. i look at him too much. 

guy in my alg2 class that i dont know the name of is... in my algebra 2 class. i’ve never offically spoken to him, but his did hold the door open for me once and was super polite. he doesn’t play sports but he’s large. like, 6 foot large. he also has his hair up in a bun everyday. and today during the tst he undid the bun, and his hair goes a little bit past his shoulders and it looks to silky. deep voice.

liam is in my english 10 class. at least i know he’s in my grade right? and holy heck does he look so nice. he has blond-ish red hair and brown eyes?? and he literally could care less about school. he’s like a bad boy but super chill?? i used to sit directly across the room from him and i would sometimes look in his direction and see him looking at my group’s table? whether it be because he knew the people at my table, or was just completely blanking out, or because im a new student and hhhhh, i’ll never know because we had to change tables. now i sit with my back to him so idk if he’s even in the class anymore. 

anthony is in my world history class and is friends with joey. i had a crush on anthony before joey, but after a while anthony just seemed kind of dumb, but i still kind of like him? he goes out of his way to bring me into conversation and is funny in a dumb way. i dont even know. reminds me not to kill myself. he looks like he’s good at hugging. 

time in general

so i’ve recently been hit with this like wave of sadness where everything suck sand maybe that’s why i wrote this, but i have nothing to look forward to each day other than getting back to my “bed” after school. i just want it to be summer again becuase either 1) i can learn to drive, 2) anthony and joey and alec and austin can maybe want to hang out or something and i can finally have friends 3) i can screw up my sleeping schedule to talk to my bros in japan 4) i’ll have my stuff 5) i can start making real friends in junior year because at least i might know some people during lunch. i just want everything to fix itself because i have no way of fixing it. 

i kinda want to die

and not in the angsty teen way. actually, maybe in the angsty teen way. i just dont think that i have anything to provide to the world and i’ve already experienced all the world has to offer? i mean, obviously i haven’t, but in a “nothing else really will matter” kind of way. is that nihilistic? i just want to skip to the part of my life where i can just experience love?? thats sappy as shit, but i want to find someone that i can really love and experience the thing that humans experience and just know that im not alone in the universe? maybe its me and my obsession with soulmate au’s, but i really want to find someone where everything just clicks from the first moment and i can just be myself and be fully accepted and be truly vulnerable and free with someone that i absolutely care about and love? but i know im not mentally prepared to be in a relationship of any kind and that’s a problem after being removed from the only people i could talk to. so i’m forced to bottle things up and just try to push away bad thoughts to prevent myself from just crying in the middle of class. sometimes i get the thought of the time i wrote a suicide note. sometimes i think about who of my classmates would notice that i never showed up to school again. sometimes i think of when my brother and dad would find me dead and what their reactions would be. but hey! “i want to die” i so #relatable right !!!

i just want to say that the only people that i’ve met that maybe genuinely cared if i actually killed myself were my biology teacher mr francis and anthony. i remember the look on mr francis’s face when i said that i didn’t know if i wanted to be alive, while my classmates just laughed because of the whole “i want to die” meme culture we have. i appreciate that he didn’t tell anyone, but that might not have been the best in the long run. of course, that’s not his fault. he probably knew that i would just lie to the counselor. but i wish mr francis could see me now. completely broken and looking like i never want to wake up. last week in history class, my group was all joking about wanting to die, and i think anthony saw it on my face. he saw the quiet build up of tears as i thought of what these people i call my somewhat friends would think or how they would react if they realized i never showed back up to school. or if my teacher announced that i had killed myself. or as i thought of my suicide note that i wrote a month and a half ago. and he probably said the last words i expected to hear from one of my classmates, especially after only knowing me for a few days. “you know, if you were to kill yourself, i’d get really sad” it’s dumb, i know. but it’s suck with me. he barely even knows me, but we were launched into this conversation about how we would truly feel if someone close to us died. like imagine coming to school and noticing that the person that sits next to you, who normally never skipped a single day of school, now hasn’t shown up in a week. imagine trying to find their face during lunch, only to figure out that they aren’t even breathing anymore. imagine having to continue with our day, with your life, not truly knowing what happened, or knowing if you can help, or if you could’ve helped to prevent such a thing from happening. imagine seeing someone you’ve seen everyday just disappear without a trace, just to disappear without anyone knowing that they were even there. (deh anyone?)