#this show is driving me insane in a good way

[eggyrocks]

DRUNK WALK HOME

chapter seven: introductions

masterlist

"and i don't want your pity, i just want somebody near me / guess i'm a coward, i just want to feel alright," nobody by mitski

It’s Tuesday, and Akaashi’s studying, sitting at the university coffee shop with his notes splayed across a table, an empty seat across from him. 

He can’t focus. He couldn’t focus at his apartment, he couldn’t focus at the library, and he can’t focus here. Noises keep making his head turn, and he keeps thinking that he sees her out of the corner of his eye, and each time it tenses him up, makes his adrenaline spike. 

He keeps rereading the same sentence over and over, and going to drink from a coffee that’s been empty for about twenty minutes now. He’s not retaining any information, each word he reads turning into dust on his head. 

It’s making his head split. And as much as Akaashi does not want to admit it, the thought creeps into the back of his mind that she’s right: he is obsessed. It makes his grip on his pen a bit tighter. He tries, but he can’t stop thinking about her. Everything he does, she’s in the back of his mind. He wonders what she’d say to him if she could see him, what she’d do. He wonders what she’s thinking about, and if she’s thinking about him. 

He wonders if she would’ve been his friend, if he had given her the chance. 

This is what he’s thinking about instead of his studies, and it’s driving him insane. He grinds his teeth together, and tries to force himself to understand the content in front of him. 

A heavy leather purse drops down on top of the table, and he jumps. Akaashi looks up, and sees an older woman there, taking a seat in the empty chair across from him. She stares directly at Akaashi as she does so. She looks familiar. This scowl she has on her face feels like one Akaashi knows. 

“I’m sitting here,” she says, matter-of-factly, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back in her seat. “There’s no other place to sit, and I’m waiting for my kid to show up. She’s late, go fucking figure.” 

Akaashi tries not to let it show how immediately uncomfortable he feels. “Um, okay. That’s fine with me,” he says stiffly, nodding his head. 

She has wrinkles around her eyes and heavy frown lines around her mouth. “What’s your name?” she demands. 

“Akaashi Keiji, ma’am,” he answers, because he feels like he has to. Like he’ll get in some kind of trouble if he doesn’t.

“You look like a smart kid,” she comments, eyes briefly tracing over his collection of books and notes. “You get good grades?” 

“My grades are decent, yes.” 

She snorts. “That’s a humble way of saying yes. You look smart, studying here. Wish my kid was smart like you. But she’s a fucking dumbass.” 

His discomfort makes him squirm. Akaashi doesn’t know what to say, so he settles on, “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“You got a girlfriend, Akaashi?” she asks bluntly. 

“Um, no,” he says, and for some reason his face gets hot. “No I don’t.” 

“Do you want one? My daughter’s dumb as rocks but she’s at least pretty. Gets it from me,” she says, and grins proudly. 

Akaashi looks over his shoulder, like he’s looking for someone to save him from this conversation. The last thing he wants is to date this random woman’s random daughter, especially if they’re anything alike. “Oh, well, I’m just trying to focus on my studies now.” 

“Well if you change your mind, let me know. Maybe you’d be a good influence on her,” she says, and then perks up in her chair, looking over Akaashi’s head. “Look, here she comes now.” 

Akaashi turns, and he sees her. For a moment, he tries to pretend that he doesn’t see her, and instead looks for the woman’s daughter, before it dawns on him.

It makes sense, once Akaashi realizes. They look alike. The way the frown is the same. The way they spit out words is the same. Akaashi feels something that is akin to satisfaction. 

She must see her mother sitting there, speaking with Akaashi, and feel dread, because this awful expression works its way across her face once she sees the two of them together. Her mouth screws up, her fists ball by her side, and she takes quick, urgent steps towards the table in the middle of the cafe. “Mom?” she questions, voice half horrified and half enraged. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

“I’m talking to this nice boy, Akaashi,” her mother responds, leaning back in her chair as if she has no intention of leaving, and is in fact just getting comfortable. Smugness blossoms in Akaashi’s chest, and he can’t help but smirk. 

She is deliberately not looking back at Akaashi. She has her head turned to face just her mother, shoulders tensed. “Yeah, I can see that. Why are you talking to him?” 

“Because I want to,” her mother replies, and then turns back to face Akaashi. “Akaashi, you know this scrub?” 

“No, I don’t know him, Mom,” she rushes to lie. 

“Actually, we do know each other,” Akaashi corrects her, voice level and cool. “I’m her writing tutor. All students on academic probation have to see a tutor twice a week.” 

It’s then that she finally turns to face Akaashi, and it’s not what he was expecting. He was expecting more of her rage, twisted up anger and some kind of rude remark. But instead, she looks horrified, eyes wide and jaw slightly dropped. It makes him shift. He’s never seen her look like that. 

“Akaashi,” she whispers, and he thinks it might be the first time she’s said his name since their reintroduction. It makes his spine straighten out. 

“Academic probation, huh? What a deadbeat kid you are,” her mother spits out, voice low and harsh. She stands, grabbing her heavy bag and swinging it over her shoulder. “Let’s go,” she commands of her kid. 

And, in a move that Akaashi doesn’t expect, she obeys without another word. Her head hangs and her shoulders slump, and she follows her mother out the cafe. Neither one of them say another word to Akaashi. 

Akaashi sits there for a moment, left with the impression that he’s done something wrong, just then.

taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @causenessus @kawaii-angelanne @thatonecroc @v1oletfury @lonesomedrive @nnnyxie @crownj1min @frvppe @mollyrolls @karasyuu @ciderscape @phoenix-eclipses @s1ckntw1st3d @cnnmairoll @soobin1437 @worldgyu @snail-squasher @dragonictears @ferntv @reignsaway @Lisoozi @staygoldsquatchling02 @gsyche @yuminako @spicana @hermaeusmorax @shoyostar @whorefornoodles @hqsimprevival2024 @atsumuenthusiast @lemonocityyy @itsdragonius @robinphobia @aboveasphodel @savemebrazilhinata @lllaw @dreamingofyeo @milesmoralesluvs @miliondollagirl @kitnootkat

taglist is open, complete this form to be added

[mirainwonderland]

Leon Kennedy headcanon

Content: jealousy, a little bit of angst, MDNI, subtle mentions of nsfw

Hear me out—

Listen if Leon was jealous, I don’t see him getting necessarily rough and like throwing you around and leaving hickeys everywhere like a sex maniac. None of that punishment stuff stay with me here for a second instead, I see him getting very touchy, like almost aggressively touchy, but not overly rough or violent. More like insistent or energetic, liking getting a little swept up in needing to be as close to you as possible as if to prove something to himself that he forgets his own strength like:

“Leon, what has gotten into you?” You ask, as he has a firm grip on your shoulders, nuzzling his face insistently into your neck or chest, being aggressively affectionate with kisses against your skin. Pressing his body against you like he’s trying to pull you into being a part of him because he doesn’t know what he’d ever do if he lost you and his mind is immediately outlining the most unlikely worst case scenarios.

Because it throws him way too much for his liking. And he hates feeling so insecure because he knows you’d never leave him and another guy would never take you from him, but he’s constantly cycling through the what ifs.

But when he answers you, the words are so nonchalant, even if his tone of voice thinly veils how bothered he is.

He’d say something like, “huh, didn’t realize kissing your girlfriend became a crime”, as a poor attempt at a joke but you can both hear the insecurity in his voice and he hates it

So to remedy that and try and keep up his tough guy reputation, he’d spin you around and start kissing the hell out of you and really taking over in the way he knows drives you crazyyy and just being overall more insistently dominant than usual

But he’s still careful cause he doesn’t actually want to hurt you. He’s more just trying to prove something for himself that he’s the one you come to, he’s the one that makes you feel good. And he’s a little embarrassed cause he knows it’s kinda immature but he can’t help it he wants you to need him in every context that savior complex peeking out to say hello

Once he gets you in bed under him he spends an absurd amount of time insistently touching and kissing all over your skin like he’s trying to purify it or something he doesn’t really even know and he feels like a pathetic dog marking his territory but he can’t stop (he’s not ofc he just feels a little pathetic poor guy)

He wouldn’t be overly rough on you, just intense. Insanely intense, like he’s trying to give you the best orgasm of your life. Like he’s pulling out all the stops and trying to do everything he knows you like, like he’s subconsciously trying to prove he’s good enough and he knows you and your body better than anyone.

He doesn’t show or say all this very well though, he’s pretty stern faced and stoic, eyebrows furrowed in concentration during the whole thing, frowning because his mind can’t stop racing with all the self-deprecating thoughts and him being nervous about you leaving him for no reason. And he’s knows it’s stupid but he just needs this: just needs to feel and taste your skin and kiss your lips until they’re numb, and thread his fingers in your hair as he watches your face twist and scrunch in ecstasy

All because of him. He’s doing that to you.

He really wants to make you writhe and cling to him, and be intense enough that it drives you into his arms for purchase and something to cling to in the storm he wages upon you himself. Anything to make you forget how to speak and to call out his name like you need him. Like he’s your anchor against the waves he‘s responsible for.

He feels better once you’re lying on his chest, dozing and holding onto him in your sleepy state. And he feels satisfied that you rely on him for things, and that you get so cuddly after he wears you out.

And in the afterglow he’s questioning his own thought process and how he could be so silly as to be bothered by the thought of someone taking you away— because it’s never gonna happen duh

He brushes your hair back from your peaceful face and he feels his chest grow all nice and warm and a little guilty for so selfishly making you ‘suffer’ for his internal conflict

I just think jealous Leon would be such an internally angsty mess

K thanks bye x

[lesbianjackies]

for the pilot script — please ramble about whatever you are feeling the most insane about! i’d love to hear your thoughts on anything :33 hope you’re well ^^

SO. that would be this.

this deleted moment during the allie incident where jackie is described as frozen and shauna tries to get her to move but she can’t. it’s been driving me CRAZY because it not only foreshadows & parallels jackie’s death in a genuinely insane way, it shows that from the beginning jackie has never been able to handle crisis. so soon after coach martinez asks if she can handle leading her teammates, she completely shits the bed. it’s so good.

also — and my girlfriend pointed this out to me, i was too focused on the jackie parallel to notice it myself — the way shauna flinches away from the sight of allie’s blood is so heartbreakingly fascinating. just later in the episode we see her brutally killing a rabbit with no hesitation, no squeamishness, not a shred of remorse. it’s absolutely insane how we watch shauna going from a sweet girl who can’t bear to look at the broken leg of a teammate she didn’t even like that much to a genuinely ruthless killer who basically gets off at the sight of blood. the parallels in the pilot are so fucking crazy to me.

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Island of the Procrastinating Brain

I swear, my brain is actively trying to drive me insane.

Back in 2022 it came up with a plot for @alex51324 's "Island of the Gays" where the Duke of Crowborough comes to the Island because, well, by this point the man's less of a human being than he is a walking bundle of neurosis. I got through a couple of scenes before my brain got tired and stalled out, but I still have a good frame work. Every once in awhile, I come back and poke at it and get out a few more sentences. Maybe even a paragraph or two.

Yeah, have I mentioned I'm not a fast writer?

And Phillip does NOT want to deal with his issues and Thomas does NOT want to deal with Phillip, which, okay, FAIR, but that's kinda the point of the whole thing. But in the meantime my brain still wants to write Phillip on the Island, so what's it done?

Come up with a sequel, naturally!

And it really, really wants to write this sequel despite the fact I can't do it properly until I've written the first piece, which neither my brain or my characters seems interested in, because they are all PUNKS, but my brain will NOT stop thinking about this hypothetical sequel which, at this point, will never be written.

So I'm just going to write out the summary for the thing here, in case anyone's curious and wants a laugh, because I can and maybe it'll galvanize the lump of grey cells in my skull to be productive. Maybe. Not holding my breath.

Things you need to know before going into this:

Random.org has decided that Thomas is married to Peter Fitzroy for this one, which is kinda important for Thomas's characterization.

Phillip only kinda counts as human at this point, but he's actively trying to fix that. The results are mixed.

It was inspired by a couple of polls I ran when I was trying to figure out where I was taking the first piece (hey! I have the last scene written!) and the suggestions that Phillip might like working in some sort of architectural field (believe that was from @o-rchidae) and that he wind up married with an older working class bloke who would not take his shit.

Right then. Let's go.

-

Okay, so, this takes place a couple of years after the Walking Disaster of Crowborough arrived. At one point he was tapped to help with building or repairs or some such and he realized he liked it, so he's taken to studying books on building and architecture and has joined up with the local work crew. The problem is, he's basically teaching himself out of books and then applying it to real life, so he keeps getting ideas about "Say, why don't we do this thing THIS way?" and while it'll seem like a reasonable idea, there is, in fact, a very good reason NOT to do it that way, but because a) he's a Duke and b) a bunch of people hate him, on general principle if nothing else, everyone just goes "Oh, okay, sure" and the do it that way and…it fails. And the people who hate him laugh and it's obvious that EVERYONE knew it was a bad idea and he gets frustrated, but he wont' say it, because a) Duke and b) boys don't cry.

And this goes on for awhile.

After a bit, though, a new guy shows up who has lots of experience building things. It was kinda his job before he got here. He is educated in the ways of Building Things and knows what's up. He's also at least ten years Phillip's senior and has limited patience for upper class twits, so when he joins the crew and is informed there's this know-it-all-Duke who's always demanding they do things his way (by which we mean 'making suggestions that everyone just goes along with'), even though it's stupid and wastes time and resources, this guy goes "Pff, not on MY watch!"

And sure enough, the next time Phillip makes one of his suggestions, instead of "Yeah, sure, okay" he gets "We're not doing that." Why? "'Cause it's a stupid idea that won't work." WHY? "Because (insert full explanation of why the thing wouldn't work)." And Phillip stops asking and the rest of the crew cheers and laughs at how the old guy sure showed him and they anticipate an end to the questions.

THIS TOTALLY BACKFIRES.

Instead Phillip, who had actually been kinda slowing down on the suggestions over time, is making ALL of the suggestions, ALL of the times, and arguing every last aspect of the suggestion with Old Timer before giving up. The crew can't put up a fence without an argument. Old Timer starts calling Phillip 'Phil'. Rather than tell him to stop, Phillip just starts calling Old Timer by a similar nickname, which Old Timer ignores, because not giving in to his own trick, oh no. There's talk of starting a police department in case they murder each other.

After this has gone on for awhile there is a Big Dramatic Plot Twist and the Old Timer goes out into the woods for something and…doesn't come back in a timely manner. He stays gone long enough for people to get worried and mount a search. To everyone's shock, Phillip wants to come. He's quite insistent on the point. They finally agree to put him in Thomas's party because he and Thomas "get along now" (read: Thomas has spent enough time with Peter talking him down that he can tolerate Phillip's presence under the right circumstances as long as he doesn't say anything). The parties go out and before long, Thomas and Phillip's party has the good luck to find Old Timer. He's accidentally been injured badly enough he can't walk and crawling through the woods is not easy going. The manner of this accident wasn't a super obvious bad idea, but that could maybe have been avoided with a bit more thought, perhaps, with luck. Most of the party just nods and goes "Yeah, sounds about right, could have happened to anyone."

…Phillip flips straight out and starts screaming at Old Timer for being an idiot who could have got himself killed. And then storms off a ways into the woods, back toward the village, leaving everyone else wondering a) the best way to get the injured man back home and b) what the heck just happened with the prissy little Duke. Thomas gets deputized to go find out what Phillip's problem is. There is protesting involved, but he finally gives in because he'd like to be home by dinner, thank you very much.

Phillip has, by this point, stopped to have a smoke, which both gives Thomas an opportunity to catch up and, thankfully, a scent to find him by. Thomas asks him why on earth he's so upset that Old Timer is hurt since the two of them hate each other and everyone figured Phillip would LOVE it if the other man died…

And that's when he finds out that everyone's had that relationship all backwards. Phillip doesn't hate the Old Timer, oh no! He loves being called 'Phil'. He absolutely adores the fact that when he asks "Why don't we do this?", rather than just go "Yeah, okay" and waste time and resources doing something HE KNOWS WON'T WORK, the Old Timer says 'no' and, over the course of the argument, actually EXPLAINS why not, which means Phillip ACTUALLY LEARNS THINGS. The more he argues, the better he becomes at building things and he doesn't have to try and decipher what some book is telling him or guess what the book might be leaving out and he LOVES IT and if the Old Timer had died, how would he learn things then? When Thomas points out that he'd learn just as much - maybe more - if he just asked the Old Timer to teach him things rather than argue, Phillip low key panics because what if he figures out Phillip WANTS to learn and stops talking to him or refuses because he doesn't like him at all?

By this point Thomas is a) trying to remember if he was ever THIS paranoid, and praying he wasn't and b) wondering what on earth to do with a Duke who is clearly in love with a crusty old working class codger, but hasn't figured it out yet.

He decides to tell Rouse and make it HIS mess to deal with.

Phillip and the Old Timer eventually get married and get a cottage of their own and Phillip about dies happy at the idea of a home that he actually owns instead of something that he's the custodian of for the next generation who will be the custodians for the generation after that and so on.

[clemelntine]

Episode 7 stray thoughts

With screenshots because I take too many, and if I don't use them for something, it'll feel like a waste.

All this lovey dovey stuff is making me hopefull that it will all be okay. I know it wont be, but still

Dunk needs to stop with the love drunk eyes. Its actually driving me insane.

This entire episode is just establishing that they all do love each other. Kant and Style are shown to love them because even in the face of danger, they still stay, and Bison and Fadel are shown to love by the fact that they don't kill their boyfriends.

Thank you to who- and whatever came together to give us Joong in a croptop with a hip tatoo

I get Fadel tbh. I too would sniff Style if i got the chance

Oh little christmas child, cute. I can sense the Chekhov's gun being loaded.

The indirect confessions this episode are actually driving me insane

Oh the heartbreak of this scene. The betrayal in both their eyes.

That is such a sad birthdaycake actually. Like the one singular birthday candle, the shitty graphic printed on it. Like what did Fadel ask for to get this cake?

We know Style calm down

It's looking like it

Oh Fadel you absolute piece of shit. The selfsacraficial tendencies oozing out of this man

Even when he is talking about the harm that he plans to do to Style he cant help but let himself slip up. He still warns Style cuz he still doesnt want to see him suffering.

Another indirect confession

And a direct one

I forgot how similar kantbison and jackjoke were, like the northern lights suddenly made me think of yinwar, and now i can't stop thinking about their similarities. The past of theft, present of betrayal. The knowledge that they both have of each others crimes and the willingness they still have to be there for each other. Heartbreaking.

911 is a odd number to pick for his hospital room. Like it's a number with such significance and to then show it so directly in the shot. I can't stop thinking about what it means.

Oh what a stunning shot. The way it is devided into two parts. The blue tints, the heavy shadows, stunning.

Omg that yell

Oh how vulnerable.

Another confession. A direct one this time

I didnt need a comparison of the eclipse boat scene.

I love it when Khaotung plays little balls of anger. Like Gaipa is cute and whatnot but Bison and Ray are just so petty and enraged and it looks so good on Khao

I love Style and his lil annoying ass comments so much

For those curious I took 135 screenshots this episode. 86 of Fadel and or Style, 40 of Kant and or Bison, 6 of Bison and Fadel, 1 of Bisons birthday cake, 1 of Keen and 1 of Jay (styles dad)

Favorite scenes

All of the attempts that Style made to flirt

Honestly the entire episode slapped

[silentsockfeet]

with the obvious addendum that act 3 isn’t out yet and we can’t form true opinions until the show’s officially done, i’m still really feeling like it could have maybe benefited from a third season. they’re hitting all the right plot points and those moments are full of really intense emotion, but everything in the middle feels so underwhelming in comparison and so much of it still feels rushed to me. idk

[chocottang]

the more i think abt goldica the more i like it

[primordial0riginator]

Me, the only Ares and Nyx shipper on planet earth: 😏

[jrueships]

yall thought yall were safe from my 1998 temptations movie posting, but, rest unassured, you are not . melvin is old man running toward you with his chronic rheumatoid arthritis at excruciatingly slow speeds as we speak .

he's so :3

[brionysea]

this man is pissing me off

[altschmerzes]

Hi! I’m new to the Slow Horses fandom, but just binged all 4 seasons, read the first 2 books and just started the third. Obviously I went in search of some good fics and let me tell you I genuinely can’t wait for you to publish Drive The Wedge! From what I’ve read so far you’re such a good writer AND you’re writing exactly what I’d love to read 🤩 thank you for doing this and I hope your non-writing life is going as well as your writing one!

P.S I saw that you’re a locked tomb fan as well so I will check out that fic while I wait (for your Slow Horses fic and for Tamsyn to publish Alecto) 🗡️

THANK YOUUUUU IM EXCITED FOR IT. i'm very VERY excited for it :D i love the fic very much and ive got some stuff in it that's gonna be very very run to rip into and it is beyond delightful not to mention motivating to get messages like this and know other people are looking forward to it too!! thank you so much

and YESSSS I CANT WAIT FOR ALECTO...... i need to finish THAT fic too now that you mention it

[quietwingsinthesky]

haunting the narrative for real. we don’t even know she exists until s11 (because it’s a poorly planned show) but everything has been about this injustice that all of creation is built on top of. it is about her!!!

[marxistgnome]

Ive been watching alot of enterprise recently and one of the things that strikes me, especially in the latter seasons is how focused it is on captain archers heroism. It seems like every other episode is concluded by him risking his life in a feat of daring do to save the day. It kinda has the effect of making him seem a bit more like an all american action hero rather than a starfleet captain who is a part of a cohesive crew. This is a little jarring, especially when compared with other star trek captains (who have their action hero life risking moments but they are 1 much more scarce and 2 have alot more justification beforehand) but I do think it works quite well character-wise. Archers relentless self sacrifice and die hard (the movie) approach to alot of situations really draws attention to the fact he is the first person to be the captain of the starships we know and love from other shows - and especially the fact that the role and code of behaviour of later captains has not by any means been established. It shows how he acts more on emotion than protocol because there are no protocols yet for how a captain should behave and it shows how he reacts to encountering dangerous and chaotic circumstances there are no precedence for - by putting his life on the line rather than risk anyone else, even to the point of irrationality. And this makes sense! In the tos/tng era we have things like the kobayashi maru and command simulations where you have to send a crew member into a life threatening situation, but enterprise didnt even expect to see heavy combat, they barely left space dock with weapons, there is no way archer was prepared to this extent and his actions show this. So yes, the heroism is very focus is very interesting character wise however narrative wise its fucking annoying. Making Archer the go to guy who has to jump on every grenade and has to take every bullet gets old pretty quick. For one thing it really takes the drama out of it because we know Archer will get out unscathed cos he did in every other virtual suicide attempt so far. And for another thing the self sacrifice stops feeling earned because its just a go to - and you can definitely maintain a balance between showcasing how archer is reckless with his own life and keep the emotional weight by not having it be such a frequent thing. But my main gripe is that this focus on archer saving the day absorbs so many other cool opportunities. like in immunity syndrome kirk had to choose to send spock or mccoy on a suicide mission - and also had to concede that he couldn't do it himself cos he also has similar self sacrificing herosim streak - and that could be something so cool to see on enterprise but the archer focus gets in teh way. ( i am now realising i am only midway thru season 4 so if this does happen at some point keep it to urself). And it gets in the way of so many chances to explore other characters. Travis Mayweather is criminally underutilised i want to see how he behaves in a life or death situation!!!! I already know how archer would cos ive seen it a bunch of times!!! And there are so many instances where it would have been more interesting if another character was in the grenade jumping position - like what if phlox had to test the cure for the klingon virus on hoshi instead that would have been so interesting to see cos of how close they are. I maintain that if like a 3rd or even a 5th of big captain archer hero moments had been devoted to exploring other characters or other options enterprise would be so much better. Truly society if

[astranauticus]

todays orv mood: standing at the water dispenser under my dorm building waiting for my instant noodles to cook just pacing in circles and swearing

[dropthecop]

actually the only good unhelmeting of a masked character is if they have a smaller identical helmet underneath the first one

[volfoss]

my #analysis or whatever but its really interesting with how much they cut out of the Jon at the banquet 1x01 scene compared to (at least the leaked version online) the original pilot and book. like not to be like yeah grrm put this much detail in there for a reason but a lot of the detail that they removed really hurts jon as a character and its so jarring to see how much they cut to take the chapter down to about 3 minutes of the episode.