clemelntine

[clemelntine]

So...you're questioning if you are aromantic and/or asexual...

...and you don't know where to start.

Well, here! This is my compilation of all the things that helped me figure myself out. I would adore it if other arospec and/or acespec individuals added on as well.

Resources/Research:

1. Forums

Being able to talk to people about my experiences was really helpful and validating. Being able to see other people's experiences that were similar to mine was also so helpful.

For asexuality, there's AVEN. There's a specific section for questioning people as well. For that section, I recommend only posting, not reading other people's posts. There's also this FAQ section with a ton of helpful information about asexuality in general. Overall, I suggest browsing the site, and posting any questions you have.

(small disclaimer: in my time there, I found AVEN to be pretty unfriendly to aromantic people. I have it on good authority that the problem has been solved, but I want to be honest that my personal experience wasn't all sunshine and rainbows)

For aromanticism, there's Arocalypse. It's a smaller forum than AVEN, but also supportive and helpful. There's an Anonymous Q&A section, where you can post without an account, as well as a Discussion section where you can learn more about aromanticism. There's also a non-forum FAQ, with additional resources linked at the top. Similarly to AVEN, stay off the posts of other questioning people, browse the site, and post any questions you have.

If neither of those work for you, I recommend Reddit, but only as a last resort. The moderation there can be interesting, and there's a lot of in-fighting. But, in my opinion, it's important to have that space if you need it.

2. Videos

Seeing people talk about being asexual/aromantic is really helpful for solidifying that they are real things for real people, not just concepts on the internet. They also provide the information in a more streamlined way than forums do.

My number one recommendation for this is Ash Hardell's series on asexuality and aromanticism. There's 3 parts (One Two Three). There's a ton of good information there, presented by asexual and aromantic people.

My second recommendation is to just go to Youtube and look up "am I asexual" or "am I aromantic". This will pull up a lot of videos of people talking through their own experiences.

3. Articles

If you want to read about asexuality and/or aromanticism, it's better to use the forums. Articles about us are often outdated or include incorrect information. Similarly, the forums are awful at giving information about what sexual and/or romantic attraction is.

That's what articles are more useful for. There's a ton out there describing the experience of sexual and romantic attraction, as well as the development of it in humans. That's very helpful for figuring out if you actually feel it or not.

When looking stuff up about sexual/romantic attraction, make sure you use sources you can trust. Sexual attraction is an area where pseudoscience thrives. If you don't know the source, this site is great for checking if it is factual and unbiased.

Non-Research Stuff To Do:

1. Write down your thoughts

One of the issues I ran into while questioning is that I would figure something out, then a few weeks later, doubt myself on that. So I started writing stuff down. This both helps you remember stuff, and verifies that it happened.

2. Just try out the label(s)

Just use them. It doesn't hurt anybody, and you can always stop. You can use the umbrella terms acespec and/or arospec, or just use aromantic and/or asexual (which also function as umbrella terms). This will give you a feel for if the label is right for you. Remember, it's okay to be wrong.

3. Seek out positivity

Go find asexual and/or aromantic people who celebrate being asexual and aromantic. It's helpful in feeling comfortable enough to use the label(s).

What Not To Do:

1. Do not read other questioning people's stuff

This isn't helpful, just confusing. Trust me. Read it after you have yourself figured out.

2. Do not go through the microlabels

Going through microlabels is helpful once you know you are acespec and/or arospec. Not before. Put the queer wiki down. It won't save you.

3. Do not go into spaces that focus on issues

This also isn't helpful, just upsetting. These spaces are helpful for people who are confident in their identities. Not for people questioning.

Other:

Go through the notes! Hopefully, people have added stuff!

[clemelntine]

GIFSET REQUEST: First Kanaphan silently suffering.

FIRST KANAPHAN as ALAN ANANTACHAI/SAND episode 3 of MOONLIGHT CHICKEN/episode 5 of ONLY FRIENDS

[clemelntine]

When the drinks start tasting like "I want to make out with someone"

[clemelntine]

EST CARRYING WILLIAM!

[clemelntine]

featuring Togawa’s hamster agenda 🧁 OLD FASHION CUPCAKE (2022)

[clemelntine]

Some aros reject the concept of love altogether and others redefine it for themselves. Neither of these is the wrong way to go about it. The wrong way to go about it is being an asshole.

[clemelntine]

first ever live action omegaverse tv show is finished! congratulations on going through this historical event, everyone!

Pit Babe + text posts (pt. 2/2)

bonus:

[clemelntine]

This did not end in Tonkla having his blood sucked in a vampire's embrace and I am sad about that but damn Neo cries well.

[clemelntine]

Logbook: Hidden Agenda (2023)

(Sorry if the grammer and/or spelling is fucked, it's not my strong suit. Also this is just a log for me to remember the media I have consumed and what I thought about it, if you don't want to see that block this tag> #ro's media logbook)

I finally finished Hidden Agenda! (I could have been done with it like a month ago but nooooo, I just had to take a ONE MONTH break between episode 11 and 12!! WHY?!?!) Anyway, I enjoyed it! I was a bit sceptical coming in because of the mixed reviews I saw on MyDramaList, but after this I think I've just learned not to trust reviews on there very much. Got to make my own judgement I guess.

Hidden Agenda was very sweet and I really liked Zo and Joke. Though I wish they would have given more time for Joke's family issues, I think it would have been nice to see Zo support Joke the same way Joke had supported him. Which he did! But only once. In the last episode. Cause that's all the space the show gave to Joke's problems. And because they chose to focus mostly on Zo's problems Zo came off as kinda selfish, which isn't a great look in these kind of sweet romances. Though it didn't bother me much, I have a tendencie to get frustrated with writers or production instead of the character in these cases. If it doesn't feel like a character trait was supposed to be there I have a hard time getting mad at the character for it.

I also liked the side characters. I'm glad Nita was just a good friend who got to have her own little success story with winning the scholarship to Finland. Though the stalker storyline was kinda wild but also sometime these type of dramas just want to intruduce crazy plot points for like an ep or two so it is what it is, I guess. Honestly brought some much needed tension and a character I was free to hate, so that's nice.

Jeng and Pok were really sweet and I honestly think their story could have been made into it's own little series. I've seen shows work with less.

My main 4 takeaways from Hidden Agenda:

It gave me the strangest representation I've ever gotten but I am thankful nonetheless. I have never seen a picky eater in a show have one dish they eat the same way every day, and their friends defend their eating habits. As someone who has that type of eating habit/problem it made me very happy to not see Zo get ganged up and berated for it.

If I had a nickle for everytime this man:

played the dad to a character named Joke in a bl, and he and his son have a strained relationship becuase of the dad's behaviour alone, I would have 2 nickles. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. (No I don't care that Joke in Jack&Joker is a criminal, his dad was a fucking asshole)(it's deadass the same story again, Hidden Agenda just made it a speed run)

I am now a certfied pick up kisses enjoyer. The signs were obviously already there but this show really solidified it. Love a pick up kiss, any show that has them from this point forward get bonus points in my book.

I don't get the complaints about Dunk's acting. Just full stop. Yeah obviously you can nitpick but I haven't seen anything major in Hidden Agenda or The Heart Killers. So I'm just gonna chalk it up to personal taste and media diets. He doesn't even come close to the bad acting that I've seen tbh. I also have no intrest in arguing about this, if you don't like his acting, cool. No skin off my back.

I might just be a JoongDunk girlie at this point. They have great chemistry and I've enjoyed 2 shows so far. And I was gonna watch Dare You to Death anyway because I love a murder mysterie ql, one of my favorite genres. I will probably watch Star in My Mind at some point. (I don't love caring about branded pairs but sometimes I just end up here anyway, is what it is)

Next show (that is not currently airing) I'll be watching next is probably going to be either: Only Friends, Love Sea or Pluto. We'll see.

[clemelntine]

Just finished my Hidden agenda rewatch after about three months, and I am once again left with the empty feeling of finishing a show.

I never know what to do when I'm done, even though I have enough to do. I have what is probably ten pages worth of commentary and analysis on the show to spit through and sort by theme, but still, it feels weird not to watch it anymore.

[clemelntine]

Dare you to death has lived in my head for so long I have now started building plots and themes around the pilot and my wishes for the show.

I have gotten to the point where I am now analyzing my own delusions like they are actually pieces of media.

[clemelntine]

Isn't it interesting how Time doesn't really "pass"? Time simply is. It sits there, unmoving yet unyielding — like a landscape — while we stroll, sprint, and stumble through the vastness of it.

We often imagine Time as something that flows, something that slips through our fingers, but perhaps it's more like terrain: endless, constant, neutral and indifferent.

We chart our lives across it, measure change against it, and yet it remains untouched. We grow older, we move on, we leave things behind — but Time stays. It doesn't rush to outrun us or linger to comfort us.

And maybe that’s why it feels so elusive — because we expect it to move with us. But the truth is, we are the movement. Time doesn’t pass. We do.

[clemelntine]

This shit is still so fucking funny from Tong's pov man, Imagine you are Tong & it's your 2nd day outside like ever, and after stalking you for 20 years, kidnapping you, forcing you to go live with him, and weirdly smelling you during dinner, your vampire bodyguard tells u to run cuz the guitar he gave u fucking cut u and he about to go hannibal lecter on you, only for you to run directly into a vampire cop and then your vampire bodyguard comes and takes care of that but he gets shot and apparently vampires aren't invincible to bullets (?) and he is fucking dying and won't drink you special blood but then your sweat or whatever falls on his face and he start glowing, like that time he taste ur blood & immediately came in his pants back when you first met, and now he is healed apparently and the first thing he says after coming back from the death is "how you doing lil mama what's your bodylotion cuz you smell bodylicious", and you are like bitch what the fuck did Edward Cullen cum in his pants again cuz of my sweat or was this strictly healing based, how the fuck does any of this work and then he ask you to still move in with him and it's like what the hell, sure

[clemelntine]

GELBOYS สถานะกั๊กใจ ☘ episode 2

[clemelntine]

Wichian, may I have the same design as Bua's? Huh? So it will be a match. This one? No, the whole ten nails so it will be alike!

GELBOYS สถานะกั๊กใจ (2025) dir. Boss Kuno

[clemelntine]

ok I haven’t slept but someone pls remind me to go nuts again about the sandray smoke kiss and talk about every single little detail even though nobody gives af bc I will wake up and forget this even happened

I need to ANALYZE

[clemelntine]

Khao is such a big fan of Gun’s, and they would be such a great match acting-wise that I can’t help but imagine a KhaoGun show—and it needs to be dark, it needs to be gritty, it needs to feel cursed and painful.

So hear me out: KhaoGun Zombie/Virus show

(Khao’s character as K, Gun’s as G)

To start, we need Khao as a truly morally-gray character.

He grew up poor, living on the streets with his mother when he saw her beat nearly senseless by a gang of people—he was 10. She died from brain damage that night. He didn’t know what to do with the body.

Gun is a lonely chemist working overtime in a large corporate lab/hospital when all of a sudden he is thrust into a project that is top secret—a mutation of a virus that has the potential to cause uncontrolled violence in humans, or something of the sort, etc. etc. needs a cure as soon as possible

G has worked for over a year developing a cure when all of a sudden the lab he is working in falls under attack just as he has finished developing it

K works for a shady group that wants to steal the cure to sell it to the highest bidder for money. They have a mole inside that has alerted them so now the building is on lockdown with G trapped inside with all of them.

The whole show following the exposition should be set inside of the lab, where the audience feels claustrophobic

I don’t think K is a character that doesn’t want to do what he’s doing like Bison in THK. I want him to feel like he’s making the right judgment call but his sense of morality is completely threatened while he’s stuck in the lab/hospital. He becomes terrified of the consequences of what he’s done. Something about G touching him on the face undoes him completely and he grips him so hard that it nearly leaves bruises.

Some things to consider:

K always has a knife holster on his thigh and keeps a coin in his boot that his mother had in her pocket when she died

Maybe G has a brother that they’ve also captured to force his hand

G has a tattoo of a needle across his finger. Idk why

“Can your fucking science explain why people are treated the way they are in this world?” -K

GMMTV series ideas masterpost