#this school feels like Antarctica

[sleep-nurse]

Holy shit its SO COLDDDDDD

[notlhecxzsa]

The Shade Of Harkness - A.H

Summary: Finally, the day has come for you to have an interview in the company your friend has applied you to. Almost flying away from the known notorious CEO, Agatha Harkness, you were caught in her orbit—and you don't even know it yet. Was it an accident that you also saw her in your workplace, the one you told her you work on? No, maybe it wasn't. Just like how you saw her again at your school.

Author's Note: Happy holidays! Here's the first chapter of CEO!AgathaXFem!reader, mweheheh. Hope you'll like it! Again, this is inspired of 50 Shades Of Grey, so you might see some preference and familiar lines along!

Warnings: Cursing, stalking (but, y/n doesn't have to know that, right?), not that much for now, a little weirdo agatha (what's a dark fic if she's not weird), SIMP AGATHA

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3rd Person's POV:

"The 5th interviewee will come up in 5, Agatha..." Wanda called out to her boss—who she could also call a friend, peeking her head through the unreasonable huge doors of the room when she was met by a wide view of the expensive city through the big windows behind the woman who was sitting in the middle of the room.

"Hmm..." Wanda rolled her eyes at the answer she received, already used to it as the right hand of one of the woman who seemed to be colder as the ice in Antarctica and harder than the stone that littered on the moon.

Agatha finished what she was reading as Wanda closed the door, almost rolling her eyes at the thought of another stupid presence to float in her orbit. Shame on Wanda for even thinking an assistant would do her any good—unfortunately, the countless employees who ran out crying from her office were not enough for Wanda.

After putting the red head in a higher position, she refused to be Agatha's part time assistant. Knowing that Agatha wouldn't fire her for declining the demand of the job, Maximoff won.

"Y/L/N?..." Y/n snapped her head from looking at the direction where an interviewee had come running to— crying as she did so, to the red head who has been the one managing them all. Ms. Maximoff, whom she learned her name of, was a beautiful red head dressed in a very professional dress, making her feel so self conscious.

All of them here are so beautiful, so professional that Y/n thought she'd only fit in and get a job of a cleaner. Shaking her thoughts away, she stood up, clad in her jeans, comfortable sandals and a cute plain blouse that was covered by a blue cardigan. God, why did she even let Miya send an application to this kind of company?

"Ms. Harkness will meet you now." The warm welcoming smile almost made Y/n feel a little less scared, she was the last one and so, she entered the hug doors that was held open by Ms. Maximoff with little to no hope in her heart.

She offered a small nod and a small nervous smile in return, gripping her bag in front of her as if she was trying to hide from the fatal truth that she has no chance in this and probably just wasted her time driving for almost an hour just to get here.

Before she could even appreciate the view that was laid out in front of her, she tripped and landed on the floor, with the door already closed, she didn't have Ms. Maximoff coming towards her to help her up. Only the sound of heels marching towards her is what she was met with. Immediately looking up with a flustered face, she saw the woman who she'd only seen on billboards and countless news and articles.

She was wearing a noticeably expensive red suit, that Y/n could confirm. Without even thinking anymore, she scrambled up on her feet, already standing up to take the hand that was supposed to help her up and shook it, almost cursing herself with how her hands trembled and felt cold.

Y/n could feel a shiver ran down her spine at the striking look she received from those blue eyes. Great! Just great, now she has more reason to run away and never look back from this place.

"Ms. Y/L/N?" Even her voice sounded so expensive, Y/n thought as she she stammered for the answer she could barely offer the woman.

"Y-yes..." Immediately clearing her throat, the flush in her face was already spreading on her neck. "Yes, Ms. Harkness." Swallowing the lump on her throat, she saw how the woman's gaze stayed on her face with something she couldn't fathom before it went down to their hands that are still entwined. "Oh..." She almost inaudibly let out before pulling away, keeping her gaze down on the floor.

"Come sit." Looking up, she saw that Ms. Harkness was already walking away from her and towards the big and once again, expensive office table in the middle of the room that Y/n wished to take her time exploring her eyes on.

Y/n waited until the woman was sat, waiting for her to motion to her that she can start introducing herself. She couldn't help but to analyze the woman in front of her. She looked so much more beautiful than the pictures she'd seen online, she's breathtaking.

Once again, feeling conscious about how she looked like, her gaze snapped down on what she was wearing, swallowing the invisible rock that seemed to be stuck in her throat.

"Do you want me to wait for you until you're done checking yourself or what?" Y/n eyes widen as her head snapped up faster that any human could to face the woman.

"I-I... I'm sorry, Ms. Harkness..." Clearing her throat, she saw how the woman opened the envelope that she gave to Ms. Maximoff earlier that contains everything about her. Deciding that it was her sign to start introducing herself, she inhaled before starting to talk.

"I'm Y/n Y/l/n, I'm currently graduating for college and I applied in your company hoping for it to give me a certain experience that I will need for when I start working." Gazing at the older woman's face, Y/n could feel her heart trying to escape her chest as she noticed the woman's eyes scanning the whole application form.

"And what exactly are you expecting from my company..." Before Y/n could even continue, Ms. Harkness spoke up, trailing off as she slowly gaze back up at the young woman's face. "Ms. Y/l/n?" She saw how she swallowed for the nth time ever since she came here, Agatha's gaze trailing from her neck up to her lips as she started talking.

"Uh... I know how big your company is, Ms. Harkness and so I do expect that you will give me a job that would make me credible for any position that I would want to have in the future. I can do so many things..." Y/n could feel her throat tightening with how the woman was gazing at her face—like she knows all her secrets, all her problems and all that she is. "I uh... I worked before, in a coffee shop... uhm, I also joined in a lot of organizations from high school and until now..." She tried to find some more things to say, her voice trailing off only to think of nothing when the older woman stood up slowly, her head moving up at the same pace.

She watched as the woman sauntered in front of her slowly. "Hmm? Tell me more of what you can do, Ms. Y/l/n. I'm sure my company—well, I, could give you experiences you've never done before... and you could use in the future." Y/n could feel the heat from earlier now boiling with an anticipation bubbling up inside her, one she couldn't name what kind.

Stopping in front of the table, leaning her lower part on it, Agatha crossed her arms, looking down at the girl who seemed to have caught her attention more that she intended to give a person. "W-well, I also write books... uhm, I am currently working as an employee in a hardware shop. And now, I am looking for a more... compatible job for the course I'm taking and for my future job, which I-..." Y/n shrugged, looking down as if her next words makes her feel shy.

Maybe that was the reason, or maybe it was because she couldn't handle holding the gaze of the woman in front of her anymore. "... I hopefully get."

"Hmm..." Squinting, Agatha, exhaled. "You don't seem too... sure about your... future." It sounded like she was mocking her, and if it weren't for the nervousness that Y/n was feeling, she would've thought about that.

Looking up through lashes, Y/n bit her lip as she tempted what to tell the woman, not noticing how Agatha's fist seemed to be tightened up beneath her arms that was crossed. "I am currently taking a Psychology course... I am sure of it... it's just that..." Seeing the serious attention she was getting from the woman, Y/n continued.

"My parents never really... supported it. So now, I'm hoping for a flexible experience when I can still use my degree on for when I apply for a job in the future." Y/n doesn't seem to notice it, but as she let out an information she never knew she'd be getting out in this, the weight on her shoulder flew away little by little as she continued.

"They kept... thinking that Psychology isn't a good start on having the perfect life they wished for me to have, but, it was what I wanted so I went with it. I know it wasn't just about mental care just like what they always think about... but, sometimes I just hope they supported me a little more." Biting her lips, she looked down, not wanting to witness the pitiful look that she would always receive from Miya, her friend whenever she would talk about that.

But, she doubt Ms. Harkness would even give her such thing.

You do know your parents loves you yo death, and they make you feel that, always. You just wished sometimes that they are better when it comes to the things you wanted, such as taking that course where you see yourself being in the future.

"Stop biting your lip." A small frown of confusion appeared on her face as she looked up at the woman in front of her again.

Still biting her lip, Agatha took her time scanning the younger girl's face. Her eyes held an amusement she never inteded to give as her lips was in a thin line that almost gave away what she was thinking.

It wasn't often that people would open up personal things like that with Agatha, but whow as she to compalin when she was the one who asked of it. Just confused with how easily the girl seemed to be talking to Agatha with everything, the woman felt a little surprised.

"You should not think of what the others though of you... what you do." Agatha shrugged, uncrossing her arms before putting both of it on her side, her palms flat on the table as she crossed her foot. "Your destiny is what you want it to be..." Gazing at the girl who was looking at her that made her feel an unknown... warmth. A familiarity she wasn't familiar with.

An unexplainable feeling of unknown.

"Your future is yours to hold and make." She finishes, still gazing deeply in your fac, as if she was trying to remember every part of it like how she did in the many application forms that fell on her desk.

The 2x2 professional picture on your application form did not do you any mercy, that she could confirm.

"Well... they're my parents." There was a sudden small chuckle that came out of your mouth as if what she said makes you laugh.

"And? Are they the ones who will make your future for you, Y/l/n? The ones who will do the hard work while you offer your life to a boss that doesn't show you an ounce of appreciation? They are your parents, but they are just your parents, and you... you hold what you will be." Agatha said so casually, she almost wanted to stop talking when she became self aware of how personal the conversation are seeming to become.

But, with those eyes that seemed to be catching every word that came out of her mouth, those wandering eyes that seemed be so... sparkling with so much wonder than the world had intended it to be. She couldn't stop, as if your attention caught her tounge... and it makes her seek more of it.

"I guess, I just... care about them too much..." Y/n said, as if she's talking herself.

There was a moment of silence, as you both hold your gaze. Agatha could tell that you were lost, seeing the gears running inside your head to process what she just said. She couldn't help but take her time on scanning your face once more, analyzing too deeply than she intended herself to do.

Too deep that she had ever done.

The line that was invisible in the atmosphere above you that seemed to be getting longer in each moment, was cut short by the knock in the door. Only your head snapping to it, only to see Ms. Maximoff's head and half body poking through it.

Out from the trance you were in, but your attention on the certain red head, the pair of eyes that was burning holes on the side of your head weny unnoticed by you.

"Time's up, the next interviewee will come see you now-" She was cut off by the voice that seemed to be less cold earlier when talking to you.

"Cancel it, we're not done yet." Seeing how the red head's eyes narrowed in wonder, you cleared your throat and got up.

"N-no, it's... it's fine, Ms. Harkness." Looking back at the woman, you almost flinched with how she was looking at you. As if right there and then, she knew that you were the one who ate Miya's cake from the fridge last saturday night. "I can go now-"

Agatha's head turned to Wanda, dismissing you as she stood up straight. "Cancel all the remaining interviews. I'll tell you when we're done." She said, only to receive a nod from the red head that held a hopefull gaze.

The gaze you didn't noticed as you stood there, all your attention on the woman in front of you. Just then, you noticed the height difference between that both of you, how she overtowered your small frame and how her scent invaded your senses.

You hands trembled as it hold the strap of your bag, not knowing what to do or think. Then, it was like a fleeting moment before her eyes were on you again, it didn't hold the sharp professional gaze she gave the red head earlier. There was a certain amusement with how she looked at you, a spark you couldn't name if it's confusion or something along the lines of wanting more information.

As you stand there, you watched as one of the side of her lips turned up, before walking towards the expensive singke sofa beside yours. Sitting down on it oh so casually, she patted her hand on the arm of the sofa and motioned her gaze for you to sit back, which you did.

"So, tell me more about you, Ms. Y/l/n."

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"Its smart business." Agatha explained after Y/n asked about the charity she did on Africa."You don't agree?" Agatha immediately asked, seeing the uncertain look she received from the young girl.

"I don't know enough about it." Y/n said truthfully, her face full of innocence about businesses. "I just wonder, if your heart might be a bit bigger than you want to let on?" She continued, saying it carefully as if she fears that she'll say something that the woman would not like or be offended from.

"But some people say I don't have a heart." Agatha sai flatly, her eyes looking for something on Y/n's face before looking away.

"Why would they say that?" Seeing the confused frown for the young woman's face, she smiled as if she was asked about a joke.

Shaking her head as if she's in disbelief, she answered, "Because they know me well." Hearing the silence from the other person inside the room with her, Agatha felt her heart jump a little at the distant look on Y/n's face.

Agatha thought deeply on what she might be thinking. Does she think bad of her now? Just like what everyone thought her to be. Made her to be.

Before she could even overthink more, a question casually fell out of Y/n's lips that she had caught herself gazing at for the nth time.

Y/n shook the thought of her interaction with the famous CEO in the city of Westview, one of the big cities in the country of New York City. Y/n thought how she was so far from what they pictured her to be.

Those tabloid that reported how men and women were left on her trail with a heart broken and a company crumbled into pieces. She's the infamous CEO that either often bad mouthed on or praised. Y/n doesn't know, but she saw she saw and experienced what she did.

There was kindness underneath that walls that Y/n could see she built so high, it makes her think so deep if she's the only interviewee that Agatha had talked to like that, maybe, the universe was just in good mood.

The interview ended when Ms. Maximoff once again went in, telling the CEO that she has an important meeting to go to. It might've been just Y/n being delusional, but she saw how Ms. Harkness—or should she say, Agatha, stared at her for too long. Contemplating wether to end the conversation or once again cancel something.

With a few more serious demand from the red head, she heard the CEO sighed and they bid their goodbyes with Agatha accompanying the young girl on the way to the elevator.

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Y/n's POV:

"Y/n." Agatha said, it sounded so rich. My mouth agaped as the elevator dinged, surprised with how it rolled off on her tounge. I'd die to hear it one more time—what?! No, shut up, Y/n.

Before the door closed, I managed to let out, "Agatha." A smile playing on my face.

Shaking my head as I restock a layer of locks, being in the hardware could so boring, tiring and at the same time satisfying. And what I mean by satisfying is I get to organized things like this.

"Hey, would you mind helping me back there?" Eric asked snapping me out of my thoughts, one my co-worker who is on shift today with me.

"Oh-, yeah, yeah, sure." He nodded with a grateful smile and walked past me, going straight to the storage room.

Sighing, I put aside the box and took a mental note to finish it all off later. Inhaling with closed eyes before I started walking off, stretching my neck as I did so.

"Thought it was you." Jumping at the sound of a familiar voice, deep and with a certain playful tone.

"What the fuck?..." Thankfully, I managed to whisper it and tone my voice down, but with the look on her face, I knew she heard it.

"What a pleasant surprise, Ms. Y/L/N." She said with the same smirk that she gave me so many times back in her office.

"Y/n." I blurted out, waving her off as I started walking slowly towards her unconsciously. "Just... Y/n." Stopping when I'm a few feet away. "You're here?" I asked, looking behind her when I saw that another customer just got it.

She shrugged. "I was in the area of business. Need to pick up a few things." She looked back behind her, noticing that I was checking the hardware. "Are you free?" My eyes snapped at her, not clearly understanding what she was asking.

Mentally cursing myself, I immediately answered. "Yeah, what can I help you with?" She shook her head before looking down while chuckling quietly, as if having a silent conversation with herself.

She started listing off the things she needs and I nodded. "Cable ties, yes we do have those. I can show you if you want." I offered, looking at her as I bite my lip, waiting for her answer.

I caught her staring at my lips, making me pull away and lick it. "Lead the way, Ms. Y/L/N." She said, now with her voice sounding a little bit lower than usual, just then her gaze met mine.

Smiling slightly. "It's Y/n." I reminded before turning to lead her where the cable ties are.

"You know, when you said you were working in a hardware... I was having thoughts about it. But... here you are." Frowning as I gave her the cable ties, which she accepted immediately.

I saw a smile playing on her face. "Why?" I asked curiously, a short giggle coming out from my mouth.

She shook her head. "Nothing, just that... you don't seem like a girl who would deal with so much testosterone around her." Shrugging, she pointed on the rope, and gestured a number 6 with her fingers.

Nodding, I went over to it and started measuring. "Hmm, stereotyping, aren't we, Ms. Harkness?" I narrowed my eyes at her and once again, I was met with one of the most gorgeous chuckle in my lifetime.

She looked at me with a certain amusement playing in her eyes, shaking her head as she took the rope from my hand. "Just kidding." She put everything in one hand, before looking around. "Do you have tapes?" I nodded and pointed on an aisle we haven't passed through.

"We have one inch and two inches, but the truly self respecting handyman would have both in his tool box. Of course he will. It's rare to find a connoisseur these days..." I rambled, not giving her chance to reply, I gave her both.

"Are you a girls scout?" I smiled and shook my head.

"I told you, I'm a member of so many recreational... organization." I said as I look at her things, only then noticing what she was wearing. She looks so simple but so... argh, magnificent at the same time. Clad in purple long sleeves and slacks.

"Are you done checking me out or do I have to wait til I can check these out?" She joked, and I giggled, looking away, trying to hide the mark of an embarrassment crossing my face.

"I just thought how you'd be a perfect casting for a serial killer in a movie right now. We have overalls, if you'd like. Blood might stick on your million dollar clothes." I bite back, looking up at her teasingly, only to find her smirking at me as if she's very entertained by our banter.

Well, I am too. I don't know where I'm getting all that courage to even try on coming toe to toe with her. Maybe it's the way she seemed to be listening so intently on me, hanging on to every words that I say, or maybe it's because I feel comfortable in her atmosphere.

"Could just take off my clothes." Immediately pulling out the smile on my face, my eyes widen a little before she chuckled once again.

"Okay, let me lead you to the counter now." I said, finishing whatever's going to happen in our conversation.

She was still chuckling quietly until we reached the counter when I started checking out the things she got. "Did the company emailed you already?" She asked out of nowhere, making me frown in confusion and look at her face.

"Hmm, my laptop's down... I haven't really checked my email yet, why?" Looking at the computed before I bagged her things up, not thinking much of her question.

"Well, you should. Wanda's been tearing my ear off because you're taking too long to answer and she's—unfortunately, getting tired of me." Rolling her eyes while shrugging.

My eyes narrowed. "Wait... does that mean?..." I asked, not knowing what to say but she seemed to know what it was as she smiled softly and nodded.

"If you don't email back until today, I might change my mind." She shrugged, looking at me teasingly and I gasped, jumping on my tippy toes.

"No! No, no! I'll check it out and send something as soon as possible! I promise! I'll just borrow Miya's laptop." I rambled, and she nodded.

"Your friend, right? Roomate?" She said, taking the bag from my hand and I smiled, amused and surprised that she even remembered that.

"Wow, you remembered..." I said, amusement lacing my tone. "Yeah, yeah, my friend and roomate." I confirmed.

"Well then, I'll be waiting for your email, Y/n." She smiled at me before a person lined up behind her to check out.

"Very well, Agat—Ms. Harkness." Smilling back up at her.

"It's Agatha." She replied, already turning to leave.

"Not until today." I said, giggling, only to receive a shrugged from her, just like that she's gone.

God, the universe might have been having a very good week.

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Sighing, I got out of my knocked up classic car—still the car that I love so much. It's from my dad, gifted it to me for Christmas when I turned 18. Thankfully, it was not that busy on the hardware earlier today, I managed to get off of work early.

It's almost dinner, I doubt Miya would be here, since she's been spending more time on her girlfriend's house for the semestral break. But, as soon as I step inside the house, a body collided with mind and warmth filled my body as I smiled.

"Oh my god! I missed you!" I giggled, almost carrying her with how she's putting all her weight on me.

"Miya! You're here." I laughed. "When did you get home?" I asked and it took her several seconds to pull away before answering, pulling me with her on the couch.

"Yelena dropped me off earlier, and you! We have so many things to catch up! What happened to the interview? How've you been? Did you get that dog you've been wanting to adopt?" I looked at her weirdly but in a playful away, putting my hand on her mouth.

"Okay, okay, slow your horses down." She giggled and pushed my hands away, only to intertwine hers with it and put it in between of us. "First of all, you're acting like we haven't seen each other in months, gosh." I exasperated, rolling my eyes with the same smile playing on my face.

"Hey!" She pulled her hands away and crossed her arms in front of her. "A week is too long! We barely even text." She bit back and I rolled my eyes.

"Well, if you didn't always choose your girlfriend over me then you won't miss me big time." I teased. "Okay, let's stop this..." I crisscross my legs and put my whole front facing her.

She giggled and did the same, looking at me with awaiting eyes, making me smile once more. "Start at the interview! Was she hot? Oh! Is she like... mean? God, I bet all you could think was those fictions you read on wattpad." She laughed, throwing her head back and I frowned.

"Hey! You mean, those weird things that you made me read? And, I am certainly not like that or into that. Okay, wait! The interview went..." I trailed off, now did I only pondered deeply how did it really went. Gosh, I knew I thought of it—or her, mostly.

I mean, I knew I won't pass the intervew and get the job, the less expectations the better. That's why I was really shocked to hear her say that I got it, which I took a mental note on borrowing Miya's laptop later that she left on her room.

"Well?..." I said, not knowing even to myself if I am saying it to her or myself. Her mouth opened and I knew I am getting a whole bunch of heavy and loud questions, demanding a straight answer, but before she could even continue, the doorbell rang and we both looked towards the door then back at each other.

"I got it!" She stood up quickly, rushing to it and I was left thinking what should I tell her.

I mean, I know she'll think of so many things if I told her that the interview didn't really went as an... interview about the job, right? And, I can't tell her about how oh so casual did the famous CEO of our city acted so... casual and normal with me. God, I certainly can't tell her that I saw her again earlier.

Miya will yap my ear off about her weird fantasies that I sometimes get tired of... and also plagues my mind in the most annoying way.

"Hey, you got a gift." Before I even knew it, her feet came into my view and I looked up at her frowning, looking at the big box in her hands, not daring to take it.

"What? What's that?" Full of curiosity lacing my voice.

"How could I know, dumbass." She dropped it on my lap before taking a sit next to me.

I was left to hold the box, gazing at it as it would give me answers only to see a note peeking on the side. It was only a paper folded in a half, making it easier for me to get a glimpse of what is inside when I opened it, which is a short letter and an initial at the end.

Hoping for my assistant's immediate answer, Ms. Y/L/N. Maximoff so close to resigning.

-A.H

"What does it say?" Leaning towards me to get a glimpse of the note, she pondered. "A.H?" She asked out loud.

Then it hit me. Before I could even take it away from her sight, I heard her gasp. My heart jumping miles away from the sky. Not bothering to look at her, I opened the box and was met with a brand new MacBook that probably cost my income for 10 months.

"Oh my god..." I mumbled, not knowing what to feel.

"Ms. Hakrness sent you this?!"

"Oh god."

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Author's Note: Merry Christmas! 🎁

[bigbigtruck]

A non-comprehensive list of favorite songs that came out in 2024

Elbow, "Things I've Been Telling Myself For Years" [YOUTUBE] alt-rock Haven't been super thrilled by the past 2 or 3 Elbow albums but they're back in fine form with Audio Vertigo. Swinging for the bleachers, getting a little weird with it again, thank god. This one's got my favorite verses on the album: I'm the dashboard hula girl of nodding self-deception Here's to never accepting slight adjustment or correction... Of course I'll live to ninety-six and fix the welfare state I'll build a house with these two hands, my face above the gate I haven't paid for cabs or beers or met a cunt in twenty years Like all that outrun poverty, all I have was coming to me Things I've been telling myself for years

TWRP, "Content 4 U" [YOUTUBE] pop Highly danceable, highly relatable. First heard this on the Digital Nightmare tour this spring. After shaking my ass and giggling into the April night air, the lyrics sink in and I'm doing that dead eyed Lisa Simpson stare at the pavement because yeah that's. That's trying to live from any creative hustle in this bitch of a 21st century. Excellent work, boys, I hate it. I love it.

St. Vincent, "Big Time Nothing" [YOUTUBE] alt-pop What's the big deal this is just "Numb" over the bass line from "Army of Me" with a little Laurie Anderson and Talking Heads thrown in and wait hold up this rules

Oranssi Pazuzu, "Muuntautuja" [YOUTUBE] (link fixed!) prog/psych/black metal Goes hard and slow. A pulsating, hypnotic onslaught of black smoke and sandpaper. The whole album's incredible but this is probably my favorite track.

Kendrick Lamar, "Euphoria" [YOUTUBE] hip hop I mean, it's Kendrick Lamar. Dude's a fuckin Godzilla across the musical landscape. "Not Like Us" was the splashier hit of the summer, but this is the one that stayed with me. (Listening again while writing this and. Jesus, It's... it's 6 solid minutes of sticking your hand right on a hot burner.)

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, "Antarctica" [YOUTUBE] southern rock A fun (ironically) warm summer jam that fuckin blew the doors off live. Easily my fave from their most recent album.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, "Wild God" [YOUTUBE] alt-rock/symphonic Really sneaks up on you, like a mumbly guy in the coffee shop. What's he writing? "Moving through your body like a prehistoric bird?" Huh, Looks intriguiOH HOLY SHIT HE HAS A CHORUS WITH HIM.

John Grant, "All That School for Nothing" [YOUTUBE] alt-pop/funk John Grant's got this particular nasty (complimentary) streak, a deep-seated gay cynicism that reminds me of Hidden Cameras at their best, but with more lush and varied instrumentals. His lyrics are always tops, and this one's no exception. The whole album, The Art of the Lie, is great, with "Marbles" being another delight.

Ninja Sex Party, "Let's Save The Earth" [YOUTUBE] comedy pop Feels silly to put this one in alongside the rest, but... I mean it's NSP. They do goofs, not a poetic dissection of the zeitgeist. I actually heard this one on tour in Fall 2022 and it brought the house down--I might actually prefer it live with audience participation TBH. This has become me and Brett's karaoke go-to.

A.G. Cook, "Soulbreaker" [YOUTUBE] electronic Deceptively simple chord progression becomes healing, memorable. The animated video for this is essential viewing, IMO. Wild art style and cool concept. This song makes me feel like things might turn out okay.

Elbow, "Balu" [YOUTUBE] alt-rock Probably my most played track of the entire year. Apparently this is a semi-fictional tribute to a beloved cousin or nephew? Once again back with the incredible lyrics. Probably my favorite line of the entire year: I'll never be home without you, but I'll never grow in your shadow. Anyway that bass/keyboard line is sending me to the center of the galaxy

[coff-in]

Okie so I was thinking about requesting for a while but never stuck with an idea. Maybe something with a reader who has been neighbors with the graves since they lived in the apartments. Like they’re a tad younger than Ashley (about two years) and looks up to the both of them like they’re older siblings and follows them around like a lost puppy. Like reader’s parents would want them to make friends with other kids but they refuse because “I want Leyley and Andy:(“ . They’re a little too touchy during childhood to both siblings, and it might bother Andrew and Ashley (Ashley a little more than Andrew lol) but eventually the neighbor mellows out. They’re still sweet and kind to those around them but they’re not as physically touchy and trying to talk to other people. Like, reader explains they can’t make it to a hangout cause they made plans with other people and the Graves siblings are like “Wait, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go-“ And now they unconsciously try to do anything to get reader to stay with them and isolate them from others. Like taking any opportunity to get what they want. Andrew’s sick? How about you skip your date to help him out? Their parents are gone for a while? Sleepover time! Just like we used to do when we were little! Oh you can’t find you’re sleeping bag and it’s conveniently colder than Antarctica? Cuddle time! You’re now stuck between two attractive goth siblings. And you’re not gonna ever leave. Ever.

notes from coff-in: i feel it in my heart (and in my delusional head) that ashley would constantly sneak over to [reader]'s place to hang out with them. and if ashley's going then andrew has to follow her to make sure she doesn't cause any trouble.

[gender neutral] reader-insert

[reader] following around leyley and andy put put her very on edge. why the fuck are you following them around?! are you trying to steal andy's gaze, you fucking floozy? go away! back off! andy's is hers!! it would take befriending leyley first before you can actually hang out with them both, and befriending leyley can take a lot. she's whiny, and clingy, and pushes and pulls [reader] away and close all the time. like an ocean of insecurity... but they're finally able to safely traverse her waves.

andy appreciates [reader]'s patience. he's also happy that ashley was able to make a genuine friend. they both found [reader]'s fixation on them weird, like go hang out with someone else already! but eventually [reader]'s unstoppable force clashed with them, the unmovable objects, and they were able to be friends. best friends, even! with friendship bracelets, sleepovers, going out to parks or streets together; honestly three peas in a pod.

other people think you're weird for hanging out with the graves siblings as much as you do. some girls talk [reader] being so brave to touch andrew so brazenly with ashley around. it's not too much of a big deal- i mean, you can't touch him for too long without giving ashley some attention too :3

and then [reader] gets older, they notice how distant they get. sure, school can be pretty hectic and busy but surely you would still have time for them, right? why aren't you coming over as much? sure, their mom isn't the most welcoming... but they can still come over to your place! oh... you're busy studying... and tomorrow you'll be out with other friends... well, they can join you! problem solved :)

ashley throws a fucking tantrum over [reader] having other friends. what do you mean you have other friends?! are you leaving them?! you can't do that! you chose them! they chose you! ashley's spreading rumors and fighting harlots in the parking lot in order for you to stay close to them. andrew is less... obvious about it? he offers to do your work (he's done it before for ashley) in exchange for you to hang out with them. simple, right? he's not asking much and you get guaranteed passing grades in return. just snuggle up next to them while you watch a movie together... simple.

they really don't know why you'd throw this away for other people.

-----

coff-in

[purpledemonlilyposting]

Lily is making throwaways to talk to herself now cause she's too afraid to turn anons back on.

[Lily's post]

There are so many golden nuggets in here. Since these are both most likely Lily lets look at a few!

Lily's media takes are beyond just bad, she asserts that the creators of children's cartoons are dangerous extremists for perceived bad messaging in their works that Lily just makes up.

Even without that Lily's takes on symbolism, metaphor, and just basic narrative structure are worth examining because they are some of the most bizarre and ignorant many of us have ever encountered.

But no one "orients their life around you", Lily. It just feels that way because you sit in your subsidized apartment on the internet all day ordering Door Dash from a Subway you could easily walk to. I'd say get some sun but you'd probably turn to ash like a vampire.

As for me? I do something you're incapable of: putting on a show.

No one cares you're trans, Lily. Get over it. Plenty of trans people exist in online nerd culture. You can't hide from the consequences of your own words and actions by using your demographic as shield.

Pfft. They could try. Go ahead. Make videos about me. Hell, Lily, unlike you I don't even hold or delete comments. The little anklebiters who like to lecture me in my comment section don't seem to realize I'm the one allowing them to be there expressing their stupid ignorant opinions because that aligns with my principles.

Lily doesn't make a video about me because she knows I'd just react to and laugh at it. And with any luck YouTube has taken her ability to copyright strike away because she's used it maliciously 9 times.

Also retard. Just say retard, Lily. Not "tradigrade" not "child left behind" not "fetal alcohol syndrome". Just say retard.

You clearly want to. And are bitter you can't because of the insular audience you've cultivated.

This is how I know it's you because only Lily Orchard could be upset I criticized the bland Antarctica anime for being a bland Antarctica anime the sole focus of which is to get 4 teenage moeblobs on a big technical ship. Which is written by a middle aged man who does nothing but moeblob shows and directed by a woman who does nothing but moeblob shows. They both worked on No Game No Life, Lily. You know. This:

The one with the 11 year old loli in love with her step brother. Actually Lily it sounds right up your alley. You should watch it next.

Antarctica show is so full of so many plot contrivances. Why does Shirase just carry her wad of Antarctica cash everywhere and dropped it so carelessly? It's sure convenient that her and Kimari just happen to go to the same school and Kimari happens to hear her loudly wailing about the money in the bathroom. How does Hinata, a 16 year old high school drop out who works in a convenience store think she can even hope to afford this trip? Where are her parents in this anyway? We never see them.

The girls only get on the trip in the first place because another girl who is a child star vlogger just happens to be also going and just happens to contact them wanting them to go in her stead. And after making friends with them she tells her mother that she won't go without the other 3 girls but... the rest of the expedition that adamantly refused to let them on before just suddenly agrees to take them? Because this one minor celebrity and her manager mom who isn't even going said so? Takako only wanted to go to Antarctica because it just sounded neat, she's not an artic researcher, or engineer, or anything that would justify her being out there (a woman in STEM? Perish the thought says 50 year old Jukki Hanada I guess) and she died out in a blizzard trying to get a laptop to email her daughter who she has now left motherless for no good reason. And this is only ever treated as heartwarming and not idiotic.

Face it Lily. The entire show exists just to get 4 teenage girls on a big ship so otaku men can enjoy both brainless moeblobs and technical ship porn. The show sure likes to emphasize over and over how the girls are joshi kosei too. Why couldn't the show have been about the trip of the adult women (who incidentally also act like brainless teenage girls in the show)?

Yeah you guys aren't winning against me on Utena lol. Here, have my post where I have the video walking people through the episode itself. If you want to ignore the actual text of the series in order to appear morally forthright that's your own problem:

And everyone on the bus clapped, and that Asian woman's name? Albert Einstein. What does this have to do with anything except poisoning the well by linking this unsourced incident in peoples' minds to Ant and I?

Also it's Twitter. So Twitter is bad and unreasonable here, but they're not bad and unreasonable when they're squawking at me over a classic anime they've never even watched. Or squawking at Ant cause "L-L-Lily is totes a Native trans woman?? So you can't criticize any of the batshittery that spews constantly from her face hole??"

Ah now we're on to Lily's response to herself.

Oh look out Ant, Lily's got damning screenshots she just can't show anybody right now.

Probably similar to when she happily accepted a screenshot from Poppy of Poppy being creepy to Courtney and tried to blame Courtney for it.

Lily you attract attention when people talk about you because the wider nerdy internet knows your takes are insanely bad. And they know your takes are all tangled up in your personal dramas and heinous actions. They can tell. You're not as subtle as you think you are.

I cut together my response to your bad Utena takes in your 2023 Steven Universe video on a whim and slapped it on my completely unestablished personal YouTube account. It got 5k views in a few days. That's how disliked you are.

Nobody knows who I am but you sure copyright struck 4 of my livestream VODs trying to take my channel down. The 4 VODs where I most talk about your blatantly obvious incest fetish at that. Nobody knows who I am but I've gained 10k subs in 6 months primarily from dunking on you. Because I'm better at YouTube than you are.

And people do bitch at me for saying retard constantly. And you know why I keep doing it? Because the ones who most often tell me not to are some of the most annoying, entitled, self-righteous, puritanical control freaks and it's an easy way to weed them out.

By the way have fun trying to find a lawyer within 10 days who will tell you "Why yes, Lily, you can absolutely copyright these videos of yours full of footage that belong to Viacom, Netflix, Amazon, Toei Animation, Dreamworks, Activision-Blizzard, and many more!"

[rypnami]

Happy New Year!

now that it’s officially midnight in argentina i gotta make MY sappy post!!! enjoy animal crossing leander in these times

this time last year in fandom was… well. things weren’t exactly wonderful. but i am so grateful to the friends who stuck by my side this whole time, the new people i’ve met, and all the love that’s been spread around recently!!

i was a little disappointed in myself when i sat down to write this. i felt like i didn’t achieve anything of note in 2024, but the more i thought about it, i really did! i improved at my hobbies, i started taking new classes after an extended hiatus from school, and i have a very lovely partner xx

i'm kinda stunned as well at the fact that more people than me care about my ocs, and that i've found friends who like to yap with me about them. like huh?? they're not silly guys that only exist in my head now?? + the fact that the pirate au blew up a bit. wdym people like it and care what i have to say?? i was not expecting that to come out of this year, but i'm so pleased it did!!

also beyond grateful to have found a niche that i love to spend time in. last year there were maybe 4 other fans of leander i could name off the top of my head, including myself, but now i’ve met whole bunches of people!! leander nation i adore you ❤️

i feel a bit bad about not writing as much, but i have started to learn to draw again after taking over a year off, and i did much more writing than i gave myself credit for. fic updates will happen at some point this year i swear!!

and now with celebrating the new year in south america, that’s 6/7 continents! watch urself antarctica, 2025 it’s YOU.

all this to say that even if you feel like maybe you didn’t get anything done this year, you probably did more than you thought! and even if you didn’t, you made it here. you made it to 2025 and you’re going to be okay. here’s to an amazing year going forward!

leander nation on top 2025!

[casuallycryingoverbooks]

Scully sits in her new cubicle. She hates it. She hates the way her every breath is heard by at least twenty agents around her, she hates the way her back feels exposed with her front and side surrounded by thin walls, she hates the placard the reads “Fox Mulder” sitting atop the desk next to hers.

The man himself is walking down the hall. She knows it’s him; she’s spent too many years with him not to and too many nights listening to see who was outside her door as a child. Another year and she might be able to tell you what pair of shoes he’s wearing, but for now she could tell you that he’s angry. Scully does not turn around as he approaches her, the familiar shadow eclipsing her stupid, tiny desk.

Mulder slamed the paper on her desk, his hand still covering it as he asks, “What the fuck is this?” She pokes his wrist with a pen and he concedes, granting her access to the familiar page. ‘Dear A. D. Skinner’ at the top and her name at the bottom.

Scully does turn around when she hears the click of heels. Arlene, Skinner’s assistant, is racing after Mulder. “Agent Mulder, you cannot have that! That was intended for Mr. Skinner!” She looks like a cross mother speaking to a school child. Mulder does not look remotely remorseful, in fact, he ignores the poor woman all together.

Scully can feel the heat radiating off him, and she’s never wanted to step out of his reach so much before, even in the last few months, “Well, Agent Mulder, this appears to be the resignation letter I brought to A. D. Skinner’s office this morning. May I ask how it came into your possession?” She asks, her tone even, professional, and clear as a bell.

“I was going to pick up a file and saw it on his desk. You can’t quit Scully, not now! Not after Antarctica!” He’s yelling. Scully bites the urge to nag him about everyone on the floor being able to hear him. They can hear her as well, and she’ll be going out with dignity.

“As long as my resignation is accepted, and it should be as I am owed a fair amount of compensation, I can. I’m a doctor, agent Mulder, and I’d like to get a chance to use my degree in the traditional sense before I’m kidnapped by another serial killer, I hope you can understand that. Please return that paper to Arlene.” Mulder rips the letter in half. Scully purses her lips: this is childish behavior, even for him, but not entirely unexpected. Scully pulls another copy from her desk, pushing Mulder’s chest as she stands so she can have another room to breathe. “I’m terribly sorry for the inconvenience, Arlene,” she says, handing the paper to the flustered woman.

“Quite alright, Agent Scully,” she said primly and walked away. Scully practically has to manhandle Mulder out of her way so she can exit the cubicle.

“Where are you going?” He asks, so bewildered Scully almost feels bad, but she forces that back behind the door with all the other things she’s feeling about Mulder.

“The restroom, I hope that’s alright.”

“Scully, please,” She almost breaks as he grabs at her shoulder as she walks away.

She reminds herself that that’s why she has to do this and dislodges his hand. “Don’t make this personal, Agent Mulder,” she says, with her best impression of professional detachment.

[transmurderbug]

🦚 Weekly Tag Wednesday! 🦚

On an actual Wednesday this time.

Thank you for tagging me Kat @mybrainismelted, Nosho @creepkinginc, Evie @energievie, Ice @spookygingerr, Jess @jrooc and

Pie @gallapiech 🥰

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

name: Sky. Sometimes.

where in the world is carmen sandiego? (or you): Carmen is in Antarctica. She's apparently a penguin. And I'm under a pine tree.

ok, so this week we are going to snoop into your google search. type in each phrase and tell us what the first suggestion is that google gives you!

What is the best way to… avoid getting spyware on a machine? The "machine" part really drives this home.

Where can I… watch Hazbin Hotel? Are you asking me? Which version? Now I'll be humming all night, thanks.

How old is… Hungary? No need to google this one, it's pretty easy to remember, if you wanna look at the founding of the state. My memory is not what it used to be, but this one is burnt into my brain, I'm pretty sure. It's about to be 1024 years old. Why am I answering these questions though? 🤨 I do love history, to be fair.

How long does it take… to learn Hungarian? What does Google take me for? I want to see the algorithms behind these predictions. A long time, I'm pretty sure.

How many… days between dates? What dates?? Someone help me out, I'm getting confused.

Who set the record for… the fastest time to reach one billion views on YouTube? What is happening.

When did… the Queen die? Which one.

What does it feel like to… get shot. I've been told a scraped wound is worse, that's all I know. Again, why am I answering these?

Can you… run it? Run what...?

When you… say nothing at all. This is a Ronan Keating song. Who I only heard of when he was a guest artist at a symphonic concert I went to. Now you all know him too.

Why do… men have nipples? What kind of a question is this? Why does any mammal have nipples! Biology, dear Google.

Is there a way… to save Karlach.? Ehm. Spoiler alert?

How old do you have to be… to go to college? However old you are when you finish high school. Don't give up on your dreams!

Where do the… Simpsons live? Why would I want to know this?

What is the best time to… post on TikTok? Google wants both Nosho and me to become influencers, this is just another sign.

And to finish us off… What comes up when you type in Shameless? szereplők. I love the language switch. I do however know who the characters are, thank you.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Well, this was a wild ride. Never in my life have I googled or even thought about googling these things. I either know the answer or I don't even think about the subject. Good job, Google predictions! Job failed successfully! This was pretty fun though. (Just to soften the blow, the Karlach question probably comes from previous BG3 searches. The rest? What even.)

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Tagging, because I'm on time! Yay! Voluntary, as always, if you want to skip, here, have these blueberries: 🫐

@ian-galagher, @transmickey @stocious @suzy-queued @blue-disco-lights @deathclassic @spacerockwriting, @ms-moonlight-inn, @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos, @krysmiss @look-i-love-u @sickness-health-all-that-shit, @heymrspatel @michellemisfit @sweetbee78 @grumble-fish @metalheadmickey @rayrayor @crossmydna @thisdivorce @callivich @gardenerian @lupeloto @francesrose3

@palepinkgoat @heymacy @lee-ow @roryonic @thepupperino

@doshiart and anyone else I'm probably forgetting!

[dolphingirl1234]

ok I'm back its peso this time

here is our tiny medic

the crown was the closest I could get to his goofy medic hat lmao we can use our imaginations

headcanons yaaaay:

16, joined the octonauts at 14

gender fluid

he/she/they depending on the day (usually its he but it changes occasionally) (I'm just gonna use he/him for this post)

either bi or aromantic I haven't decided yet

bro literally has purple eyes and they're completely natural. no contacts or anything he's just built different like that

his hair is a bit above shoulder length and sometimes he lets dashi play with it but mostly just has it in a really short ponytail

when he first joined the octonauts he was really intimidated by the captain and literally couldn't speak to him without trembling, but after a particularly hard mission barnacles told peso he was proud of him and he immediatly became peso's #1 Role Model

the gup e was made specifically for him, the dashboard is lower to the ground so it's easier for him to reach

he's from Chile, but specifically the part that is part of Antarctica

his whole family lived in Britain most of their lives and even though he grew up in Chile peso kind of adopted their accents

speaks fluent spanish

his massive family group chat which so much spam its crazy

has a whole collection of nice rocks he finds (penguins make nests out of rocks) even though he doesn't need to make a nest its just a habit lol

has severe anxiety but has learned how to manage it after it took over his entire life in med school

he is the youngest of the crew (not counting the vegimals) and he often compares himself to the others

kwazii is basically his older brother and he actually considers barnacles to be his dad. like no joke peso's real dad is dead and peso legitimately thinks of barnacles as his father

thinks barnacles' analogy "to be brave you have to be afraid first" is bullshit but he sees his point and it makes him feel better

he has a passion for mental health studies and he randomly starts spitting facts whenever someone does something than reminds him of a symptom of an illness

he's a great listener

he preens sometimes and kwazii cant get used to it he always thinks peso is stabbing himself

he flaps his wings when he's happy or excited

will stay up late studying medical textbooks to know more even though he literally graduated med school as a child prodigy at the age of 14

he is banned from watching medical dramas because he gets scared he's gonna have to deal with something like that but he watches them anyway and literally analyses everything they do in case he ever does have to do it

bro can swim SUPER fast if he wants to (he doesn't want to)

he likes board games and card games

he's completely obsessed with puzzles. the crew have to physically restrain him from buying them every time they go shopping

has like 23938 family members and at all together they have birthdays every single day of the year so Peso's mornings usually consist of checking his calender and calling like 4 relatives to wish them happy birthday

he wears a scarf most of the time bc its a comfort item and then he overheats and has to take it off and then he cries because he physically needs his scarf to survive but if he wears it he will overheat. its a whole thing

he likes existing. he just has fun yk.

after helping sharks many times in missions he realised how cool and not scary they are and asked shellington to teach him more about them and bro brought out a whole ass series of textbooks

he cries at least 4 times a day (pathetic in the best way possible 💪💪💪)

this man has called barnacles dad "accidentally" so many times

one time barnacles refused to sleep so Peso wrappe his eyes with bandages and tied him to his bed so he would sleep and barnacles had a heart attack in the morning when he woke up and couldn't see or move

he likes lemonade very much. he drinks it religiously its basically the same as water to him

has beef with the diet versions of anything bc he always used to get them bc they have less sugar but then sometimes told him instead of sugar they use other random chemicals and now he's pissed at the companies for lying to him

none of the other crew members ever remember to take their meds so peso asked tweak to make alarms on only the watches of the ones who take meds so they remember to do it

keeps everyones meds and any other medications in a locked cabinet in the sick bay bc the others sometimes joke about k!ll!ing themselves and he's paranoid

he will stand on 14 chairs, 3 boxes and 8 cups stacked on top of each other to reach something on the highest shelf instead of just asking the captain to get it for him (this has happened more than once)

I need to sleep I think my brain is forgetting how to form woords goodnight yallkdnf

[saltnpepperprentiss]

Always and Forever

Hope x fem reader

Au that idk where exactly it fits in but I'll leave that up to you. It kind of follows Canon except reader is somehow a tribrid too. Anyway Hope is not having the best day and reader appears and cheers her up, in the softest way 🥺

Hope yall enjoy, especially you @huskyhunny 🤗

Its fall time. Hopes favorite season , when the earth adorned its vibrant shades of reds , oranges , yellows and browns. The brunette stands before her easel , starch white and a contrast to the view from her bedroom windows. Mystic falls was washed in all the warm colourful tones an artist could dream of. The sky a murky grey foretelling the downpour it would soon bring and the whistling of a ghastly cold wind that made the branches in the woods even shiver. She knew many would be adorning the fall uniforms essentials by now. A yellow orche scarf with burgundy stripes running horizontally across it ,their schools emblem adorned on one end , the blazers now with long sleeved shirts or maybe their red or yellow (really preferences to each student) cardigan or vest with the sigil of the school found above the right breast. The plaid pants was opted for over the skirts this time of year or if a part of a club would sport the tracksuits instead.

Not everyone saw the wonders in such weather , how the grey of a once bright blue sky wasn't mundane but rather serenity. A promise of natural calming bliss that only a grey sky could give as it almost always accompanied rain. There was another contradiction. Little droplets of water plummeting the earth and soaking everything in its wake. Though the wolves describe it to be a run like no other , they often complain of the cold that follows and the heavyness of wet fur complying to gravities rules. Other students find the wet dog smell way too pungent and rue the poor teardrops of nature for ever falling to begin with. Hope thinks otherwise. She sees them as nature's way of cleansing the earth (must be her witchy side), of days spent in a firelit room bathed in orange light and listening to the persistent pitter patters that aided as a melody to stories told from a time longer ago,, from a man whose lived through them all. Its a promise of large puddles the next day when the sky stops its cleaning and allows for rainboots to thrash and kick at its remains, of happy cries when the murky water touches bare cheeks , rosy from all the joy shared between mother and daughter.

Hope looks away from the window , tries to quell the nostalgia , quiet the thoughts that she could never share those memories again. Never have someone to share that joy or paint beside her as the rain continues its job time and again. Her aunts weren't  too fond of the winter chill or its watery promises and although sitting before a fire with popcorn and hot chocolate watching classic movies was fun in its own way , it never made her feel as happy as enjoying the natural moments nature had provided them. That's why when Freya had told her over a phone call she'd rather not reminisce in those days, opting for the rather brighter more warmer moments from the sun and its special season , did Hope truly feel alone.

Her sad thoughts were interrupted by the abrupt thuds against her dorms door. The bronze handle swiftly turning on its own , the locks clicked open and the door swung in to reveal a sheepish looking y/n with two mugs of what looked to be hot chocolate with one too many marshmallows.

"Mind if I join you?" The  girl asked although she had already stepped inside and let the door shut probably with the same spell used to open it. A visible chill passed through her.

"Hope its like Antarctica in here!" y/n exclaimed. She made her way to the Mikaelson and set the mugs down on the desk. Its then that Hope notices the girl is clad in a sweater , her school scarf and beanie and the ever present black leather jacket. She's wearing the timberwolves football sweatpants and the whole look seems ridiculous but just shows how not big of a fan the other tribrid is of the cold.-wait y/n doesn't even do any sports, nor has she ever been at mystic falls-

"That's my sweatpants!" Hope finally says. Not even giving it a thought before saying it. She watches y/n freeze for the slightest minute , cheeks rosey and lips quivering as if on the verge of defending herself when her y/e/c eyes lands on the scene behind her.

"Your windows are open! That's why its below freezing point in here!" y/n stomps towards the windows as if it were the greatest enemies shes ever faced. She shuts them with a force that might have shattered them and turns to scowl at the rooms inhabitant.

"Are you trying to catch a cold?!" YN reprimands.

"It wasn't open that long" Hope says , "Besides the cold does not bother me and shouldn't you either , you're a werewolf"

"What ever you say Elsa" the y/h/c girl falls onto the neatly made  bed and ignores the eye roll from the Mikaelson. "I might be a wolf but that does not mean I enjoy the temp drop and for you to assume that is stereotypical to your own kind"

"Well its not my kind "Hope says and twirls the dry paintbrush in her hand. She hasn't even set out her colour palette yet , all her paint is still stored in its tubes.

" Oh yes it is fellow tribud" YN remarks and smirks at the groan erupting from Hope's lips.

"Seriously YN ? That nickname is so lame" the brunette practically whines out. Her arms crossed as she stares at the girl casually lazing on her bed. YN knows  Hope isn't a fan of the nickname her ex boyfriend coined the two with years ago when he'd finally acclimated to the school. She also knows Hope isn't a big fan of the boy at all at this point but as always YN enjoys teasing the shorter girl to her hearts content.

"Auw cmon its actually a good nickname" YN continues "we're the only two of our kind and we're close" the other tribrid shrugs, "I happen to think tribuds is fitting to our little duo"

"Keep this up and I'll kick you out" Hope warns.

"Auw cmon Hopey I brought you hot chocolate" YN sits up and bends forward for the mugs , wisps of steam still floating up. Hope finds it surprising how any steam could find its way through the horde of marshmallows smothered atop the drink. Hope's gaze jumps from the co-ordinating blue and red mugs to the puppy pout YN is shamelessly sporting and releases an audible sigh.

"It better be good" the brunette mumbles , giving in and taking a seat beside the taller girl.

"Ouch, you wound me Mikaelson" YN says with faux sad expression , handing the blue mug over.

"Well what can I say" Hope starts before taking a sip of the hot chocolate. Its good , as expected. YN never seems to disappoint, not even with a cup of hot chocolate. "Its in my blood"

YN let's out a laugh , one that's filled with endearment and warmth. She scoots closer , mindful of the hot liquid and nudges the brunette's shoulder with her own.

"So are you going to tell me what's got you so worked up , more than usual that is"

"Ha ha" Hope rolls her eyes again at YN 's jab. "Why would you think something's bothering me?" The Mikaelson tribrid asks and when turning to face the y/h/c haired girl , is met with a raised brow.

"You zoned out in front of a blank canvas is never a good sign tribuddy"

Already annoyed by the nickname Hope looks over to the canvas as if it had betrayed her. "What if its just artist block?" she retorts.

"Its not because when you have a block you're glued to Pinterest looking for reference photo's until inspiration hits" YN raises her cup to take a sip then points accusingly , "also art block Hopey doesnt put walls up and accuse her favorite person of not knowing her and her little niches"

"Bold of you to assume you're my favorite person" Hope grumbles poking a marshmallow before looking up to see YN give her that knowing brow raise , driving her point home.

"Okay so I'm a little bit guarded today!" Hope let's out and drops the paintbrush she'd forgotten even having in her hand. She let's out a sigh, taking another sip and letting the warm liquid make its way through her insides hoping the heat could bring comfort to a never-ending ache in her heart. She's brought out of her slight reverie by the soft hand of YN, who squeezes her knee gently as if to remind her that she is here. She is here and will always be.

"I won't force you to talk Hope but know that when you do feel ready, my shoulder is here for you and so are my ears"

Hope rolls her eyes at the way the girl worded her supportiveness. Yet that was one of the many reasons why she was so fond of the you. Your outlook on life was so different hell everything about you was just.. Different and enticing and oh so endearing the tribrid had difficulty picturing a life without you. It was impossible.

"I can't really put what it is im exactly feeling into words but" Hope chews at her lip then gives YN a sad smile. "something about today makes me miss them even more"

You watch her fiddle with the ear of her mug, she darts her gaze away from yours, deciding to keep focusing on the little white treats in her cup.

"it's crazy I know, it's been years and I'm still hung up on it"

She's got tears in her eyes, you know because her lashes seem moist like she'd just tried to bat those salty drops away unnoticed. But you did, you always do. So you take her cup, despite her slight protest she allows it and watches you place it on her desk. You come back to your place on the bed and pull her into your body, arms wrapped around her so tightly you can feel her body tremble as she let's out her cries into the crook of your neck.

"you're not crazy for missing them Hope. Grief doesn't have a time limit you know." you stroke her back with your thumb, making small circles as you continue, "Just know I'll always be here for you Hopey"

"it's not up to you" you hear being mumbled against you and you pull the smaller girl closer. No one deserves the trauma the young Mikaelson had been through and to think she had to face most of it alone still breaks your heart.

"says who" you say with bravado, "I'm not ever leaving your side Mikaelson not even death could keep me away"

You both know Hope has a point, especially the life you both live any day could mean your last. Yet you were sure of your own words, you were holding your world in your arms and there was nothing you wouldn't do to keep the girl who had already suffered so much from being happy. So if death were to ever come knocking you'd meet it with fangs bared and claws out.

"promise?" blue eyes meets yours, staring from below long lashes it makes her suddenly seem younger, as if she somehow de-aged to the little girl who had shouldered too much and held powers she never asked for.

You pull her even closer not wanting any space between you especially since you were trying to warm the shorter girl with your body heat after leaving her window open on such a cold day. One hand coming to cup her cheek, stroking it as if you were holding the most prized possession this world had and smiled at her "I promise"

Kissing her forehead you whisper the words against her skin,

"always and forever"

[thewhumpcaretaker]

◈━ 𝑶𝑪: 𝑱𝒆𝒏𝒔 𝑽𝒊𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒏 ━◈

◈━ Cosmic Horror & Liminal Horror Whumpee ━◈

Image Sources: 1 2 3 4 5

◈━ He/him | 32 | Icelandic ━◈

Current Residence: England, near the coast of the Irish Sea.

Occupation: Marine Paleontology Researcher for for GIEI - Glacial Ice Excavation Institute

Sexuality: Greysexual, Can't figure out if he's straight or pan because his sex drive is so low (he's pan)

Physical description: Jens has messy, dark hair that he sweeps back over the top of his head. He has square glasses and green eyes.

Backstory: Jens Vídalín grew up in a seaside suburban home in Iceland. After a brief disappearance during his childhood, he returned with amnesia, nightmares, and a fainting sickness that kept him out of school. He had to be homeschooled, but his parents were not very attentive and didn't involve him in groups so he lived in isolation for long periods of time. Prolonged isolation terrifies him now - a fact that he hid from his superiors when applying to work on GIEI's latest project in Antarctica with a small team of excavators.

Skills and Interests: Jens is a genius in the sense of having a remarkable memory for facts and high spatial awareness. He does not strictly "enjoy" solving puzzles - a difficult puzzle tends to make him feel trapped and frustrated, but he's unable to let it go. He studies early life forms and holds a particular interest in the development of aquatic brains. Privately, he holds an interest in psychology, poetry, and dream interpretation. He also likes animals, especially fish of course.

Personality: Jens is sweet to those who manage to get his attention, but a little lost in his own world - sometimes even to the extent of paranoia and losing grip on reality. Many people see him as self-absorbed. He's deathly serious and rarely smiles. He searches desperately for answers to avoid the possibility that there is simply no rhyme or reason to what happened to him. He's determined to do anything it takes to learn the truth, and a little amoral in that pursuit.

Desires: Someone to listen to him. Someone who will work alongside him and trust him. Above all, answers.

Hates: Jens has little patience for frivolity, unintelligence, and gossip. He dislikes those who pry into his private life. He especially hates those who question his perception of reality. If you want to really piss him off, put forward a theory of what happened to him as a child as if you know better than he does.

Body and Health: Jens has always struggled with poor health. The illness he developed after his disappearance causes headaches and sudden fainting, but doctors cannot identify the cause. It doesn't help that he is nervous and prone to panic attacks. But, his symptoms are as mild as they've ever been when he applies for the trip to Antarctica, so he's allowed to go. Hopefully they'll stay that way...?

◈━◈━◈━◈━◈

Author's Note: This is my first ever public, non-fandom OC! I'm really eager to write about him. His corresponding caretaker is coming soon. Asks are encouraged, I'm so excited!!!

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

hey mate I enjoy your writing and I think you're good at it but have tou not heard that calling Drifter 'Rat' is p racist? (he's Chinese and so the word has got quite a loaded history)

Ok, well, I suppose it's time.

Cut for length and to respect those who don't want (or cannot mentally afford) to engage with this topic.

Fair warning in advance: My blog is not a platform for hatred. People being shitty to each other in comments will get blocked, regardless of whether you're for or against what I have to say.

And I absolutely know some people are going to block me over talking about this at all. I am saddened by that, but I accept your judgement. This is something I feel everyone needs to think critically about and come to their own reasoned responses, not just knee-jerk outrage react, even though I know there will be knee-jerk outrage reactions. I still love you even if you must go. I will miss you.

If you feel the need to quote me and shit on this post on your blog (or in Discord or wherever), I can't stop you. If you choose to do this, I hope you have the decency to actually engage in what I am saying rather than deliberately misinterpreting my words to mean something they do not. But the lust for ragebait attention is strong so I am not going to be surprised when it happens, just disappointed.

First, the obvious:

Racism fucking sucks. It's systemic. It's a gross disease of human culture based in power dynamics and cruelty, and it's extremely shitty: up to and including the use of racial/ethnic slurs to describe a group of people.

The use of rats, mice, cockroaches, locusts, and anything that falls under the umbrella of 'vermin-type animals' as derogatory ways to describe any group of people of pretty much any racial or ethnic background that isn't whatever group is privileged and in power at the time (usually White, but not always) is a well documented historical fact.

It has happened. It has happened a lot. Many, many times. It has never not been shitty. It will never be ok.

It has been used against people of Asian heritage. It has been used against people in the Middle-East. It has been used against Indigenous people on every continent except Antarctica. It has been used by racially White groups against another White groups but predominantly it's been used against People of Colour.

It is a thing. It has always been a thing. It is a thing right now. People do this right now. It is not funny or irrelevant. It is objectively wrong. It would be nice if humanity could get to the point where we aren't shitting on each other like this but I'm not holding my breath on that one and neither should you.

I live in Canada. My grandmother was a Residential School survivor. If you don't know what that is then don't look it up unless you've got a strong stomach for mass child abuse and genocide. The abuse from my grandmother's experiences continued generationally. I have had so much taken from me because half of my heritage was considered to be literal vermin (written into the laws of the country I am a citizen of) and determined to be in need of being 'civilized.'

The other half of my heritage is Ukrainian: a White ethnic group that has been seen as vermin, had their culture erased, and is currently dealing with another, more powerful White ethnic group taking over their entire country by force in the name of 'bringing order.'

Both groups in my own personal ethnic background have historical documentation referring to them, specifically, as “rats” in the ethnic cleansing “gotta call an exterminator” sense and both groups have been victimized by regimes who treated them (and still are treating them) as exactly that.

I am speaking to you as a person who is intimately familiar with the effects and consequences which happen when one group of humans dehumanizes another, considering them vermin in need of extermination (or “colonization” or "relocation" or "civilization"), and treats them as such – including, and in particular, the word “rat.”

I have also looked very closely (with a full academic literature education background training me to look for these things) at all instances of the word "rat" within all the Destiny 2 lore I have been able to find.

The Drifter's Asian heritage and features (I believe he is canonically at least partially Vietnamese but that is based on some very fuzzy details) in the game are depicted in loving detail. Aspects of his ethnicity are well researched and beautifully represented. He is not a racial stereotype. He's a glorious instantiation of several tropes combined with some genuinely unique, complex, and interesting character depth, breadth and development.

The insult of "Rat" when used for him in-game is based upon his behaviour, his mannerisms, his professions (salvager, skeezy fight club organizer, criminal, etc.), and his individual character history. He is also not the only person with Asian features and/or heritage in the game. No one is running around calling Ana Bray a rat.

There is also an extremely strong and direct reference being made by the specific use of "Rat" for the Drifter: It's a shout out to The Stainless Steel Rat, the intergalactic criminal and con-man main character in a series of Science Fiction books written by Harry Harrison in the 1970s which the character of the Drifter is clearly based upon. I read every single one of those books as a child.

In addition to all that, the Drifter's specific situation, where he became a complete murderhobo/Dredgen for a while from the sheer trauma of living through humanity’s collapse in the Dark Age is eerily reminiscent of what happened Universe 25, a famous Psychology/Behavioral Science experiment on societal collapse, in particular the collapse of a utopia, performed on rats. Don't look that one up unless you have a strong stomach for animal cruelty. It's not nice.

Based upon my own personal lived experience with my own personal background having a very relevant relationship to groups of people people being systematically treated as vermin (and in particular called “rats”) and based upon the use of the word in-game being specific to that character, to his circumstances, to the character in another book which he was based off of, and the likely influence of an infamous animal behaviour experiment, I genuinely do not feel that Destiny 2's use of "rat" as an insult-turned-loving-pet-name for the Drifter is racially or ethnically based.

But, ok, what if it's not intentional? Is it still just blanket-not-thinking knee-jerk always-forever unacceptable to ever reference a character with Asian physical features as "Rat" in any fiction ever, no matter what the circumstances, because historically that group was one of the many groups in human history who have been called rats?

I don't think so, but I do feel this is something where the logic gets far more fuzzy and indistinct.

And before I get into the reasons why I feel this way I need it noted here that because I am not, myself, a member of the targeted group, I understand that some people will feel that anything I say about the matter should be disregarded.

And I further need it noted: that opinion, while I do not agree with it, is valid, should be listened to, has weight, and is something that not only should be, but must be, handled with respect and empathy.

Microaggressions exist. They happen. And they don't have to be intentional.

Just because I genuinely believe that calling the Drifter "Rat" within the Destiny 2 universe is not racist doesn't mean it isn't hurting someone. And furthermore, it doesn't mean I'm not wrong.

The root of what I believe on this topic is that, by using the same logic, any non-white character in any situation referred to as any sort of vermin-type animal would then be a racial/ethnic slur.

Furthermore, (and this is the contentious part): unless it is racialized in context of its use, I feel calling someone vermin is not a de-facto automatic reference to ethnicity.

And yes, I know what a dog whistle is. I just don't think this is one.

I don't feel use of "rat" toward an individual is the same as other clear and well-documented racial slurs because its use isn't specific to any individual group. (I'm not listing them - but you can look up on Wikipedia for a list of documented known ethnic slurs. And, please note, "rat" isn't on there for the same reason: it's been applied to too many different groups of people in human history to be pinned down to any particular one.)

Is calling any group of people "rats" and referring to them as vermin due to their heritage racist? Yes. It is. It absolutely is. No argument. This is true.

Is one fictional character calling another fictional character who isn't White "Rat" automagically racist regardless of context because any connotation of any non-White person with vermin becomes instantly race-based no matter what? I don't think so, no.

And I further believe that restricting the range of creative expression to only "safe zones" to avoid offending people "just in case they misunderstand and get the wrong idea" results in "only-good" stereotypes and creates depictions of fictional People of Colour that don't ring true as people at all. It causes any POC characters to become flat, boring, poorly written caricatures, which runs counter to good representation in fiction and is, itself, a form of racism.

But (and I cannot stress this enough) just because I feel this way, and feel strongly and have tried to be diligent with my research, and think critically about it, doesn't mean I'm some sort of authority on this topic. And just because someone else, regardless of their ethnic background, feels differently, doesn't make them right (or wrong). Because this is one of those situations where objective and/or technical right and wrong don't actually matter all that much. What matters is how people feel and why they feel that way.

I have observed that the bulk of the commentary around calling the Drifter "rat" comes from, broadly, three main mindsets. Some of them are well meaning, and others really very much not.

Some of us have workplaces with strong equity diversity and inclusion policies. I work in one of them. People who rage against EDI and similar initiatives are toxic asshats who need to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. The "just don't go there in case you might offend someone" approach is absolutely the correct one for a workplace. It doesn't matter if you're right or not. If someone says that calling them something offends them in the workplace you stop doing it. Period. That's basic human respect.

Calling the Drifter "Rat" as a deliberate insult from one character to another in fiction is not the same as speaking to a real person in the real world. If I worked with the Drifter out in the real world (putting aside the fact that the work would probably either be highly dangerous and/or illegal) and I called him "Rat," a trip to HR would absolutely be warranted and it wouldn't matter whether or not I was right regarding my use of it. I would be contributing to a hostile workplace environment and my job would absolutely be justified in firing my toxic ass.

But Destiny 2 is a videogame. It's a fictional post-apocalyptic world full of robots and aliens and space wizards. It's not a workplace. It's art. Art needs to be able to use things like allusions and metaphor and poetic resonance and dramatic effect and it needs to be able to depict things like insults and harassment and complex interpersonal relationships that absolutely would not be ok in a workplace. I believe it is acceptable to depict such things in fiction and for them not to be inherently racist just because someone points a finger and goes “that word is bad!” Context matters and I feel that, while it is well-meaning, this argument is reductive and not accurate in this situation.

The second reason I see people being 'concerned' about fictional characters calling the Drifter "Rat" being racist has nothing to do with racism and it’s the reason I see most often (although I probably have considerable selection bias in play). The bulk of the time I've seen this argument, it does not appear alone.

And I'd like to take a moment to thank the person who asked this question for not being like this. Their question was asked from a position of empathy and I recognize and appreciate that. This is not about them.

But this is another situation where context matters, and it matters, not in the use of the word in the game or in fanfiction. It matters in the context of when the argument comes up online. When you see people talking about calling the Drifter a rat being racist, take a look at their statements before and after they say that. The vast majority of the time someone brings this up (from what I have seen), it's in the same vicinity as an attack. It doesn't take much to see that this argument's primary use in the wild online isn't about racism at all: it's just a convenient excuse to hurt people. This specific flavour of criticism of the use of a term in fiction is overwhelmingly brought up to only be followed by (or preceded with) unrestrained shittiness targeting a non-fictional real-life human or group.

This is not the first time racism has been raised as a pitchfork in "shipping wars" but one quick glance around every time you see it mentioned should be enough to show you that it's absolutely a major tool in the arsenal of a particular subset of people who, for whatever reason, really really hate the idea of two specific fictional people kissing. Because yes, most are already blocked by this blog (or already did me the favour of blocking me - thanks!), but there are some people out there who hate the concept of Drifteris so much they attack real live human artists, writers, developers, and anyone else that so much as hints that they like the idea of those two characters being in a relationship, with any and every possible verbal assault they can think of, including accusations of racism. They openly celebrate when these humans lose their jobs to layoffs. They insult them on social media. They send abuse and threats and feel not a shred of guilt over it.

Because to this sort of person, it doesn't matter if there is any truth to their justification. Critical thinking left the building long ago. What matters it that they hate something, and in their minds anyone who loves the thing they hate no longer gets to be treated like a human being deserving of empathy or respect. By coming up with racism as argument for why the person they are attacking ‘deserves it,’ they've now given themselves carte blanche to be a 'hater' and spew venom in white hot catharsis and cruelty.

And that particular (and unfortunately quite popular) use of the 'issue' of calling the Drifter "Rat" in D2 is not only just generally shit behaviour that should be grown out of well before people reach an age where it's legal to be on most websites (never mind being old enough to play Destiny 2) it's also excruciatingly shitty to use the very real, very much happening right now out in the real world, problem of racism to try and win internet outrage points in a petty tantrum over the 'wrong' fake people kissing.

But, that aside, there is a third reason people get concerned over calling the Drifter "Rat" and, in my opinion, it's the most valid one, because it comes from a position, not of fear of offending the morality police, not of hatred of fake people kissing, but from empathy. And that's the fact that regardless of whether or not I think calling the Drifter "Rat" is racist, there are victims of real-world racism, harassment, and general human cruelty who might encounter the use of the term and feel targeted and/or triggered by it.

I am non-neurotypical and have my own triggers. I don't need to agree with you in order to respect yours. The argument of "when I read this, it makes me uncomfortable" is not something you answer by telling someone "your feelings are wrong." It's something you listen to and, if you have a shred of empathy within you, try to find a way to accommodate.

While I do not agree that calling the Drifter "Rat" is racist, I absolutely want to make sure that anyone who does feel that way can still feel safe reading my writing, and I've taken the approach of treating it how I would want my own triggers treated: with appropriate tagging so that if someone does find the use of the term upsetting (or even just offensive) they can filter all instances of it out and not have to deal with seeing it. I've shifted my use of the #moonrat tag to reflect this on Ao3, Bluesky, and here. Unless I've screwed up (I am human and make errors but I've tried very hard to check thoroughly for this), if I use "Rat" to refer to the Drifter in a story or its title, I make sure it is tagged as #moonrat so that it can be filtered out. If I reblog something that references it, I tag that with #moonrat the same way I try to tag anything that someone has told me they find upsetting. Like the content I can't read without getting a panic attack, the point is not censorship, it's respect.

At least, that is the intent.

So while I don't think that the context within which the term is used within in the game (which is the context I am mimicking with its use in my fanfiction) is ethnically based, I also don't think I get to decide how other people feel. And I hope anyone reading this who feels I am wrong at least recognizes that I am attempting to engage with them with empathy and respect, not dismissal or derision (unless you're using accusations of racism as a weapon in shipping wars - then absolutely I have nothing but derision for you - fuck off and don't come back until you obtain a healthy dose of emotional maturity and figure out how to not treat people as things).

Microaggressions, racial slurs, and treating humans like vermin are heavy topics that need to be treated with respect and empathy. They have hurt me personally. They hurt other people every day. If you feel that calling the Drifter "Rat" is racist, I'm not going to argue with you. But, like all appeals to emotion, I invite you to think critically about it and, even if you disagree that there is context and nuance involved, please treat other humans who think differently from you as humans with basic dignity.

I find the way that Eris' calling the Drifter "Rat" has shifted in D2 from pointed insult to cherished affection to be exquisitely beautiful. I feel it honours their bond and displays a complexity that other terms cannot. I use it in my writing because it matters to me. The Drifter's ethnicity is likewise beautiful and something to be cherished and appreciated. The way the writing within Destiny 2 has developed "Rat" has been to move it from something initially derogatory and personally cruel to something that is gentle and kind, signifying affection and acceptance and care. That is the context in which I am intending by its use in my own writing. However, I understand that I don't get to decide how other people feel, and again, I respect (and want it respected by others) if you feel otherwise.

I write what I write out of love. My fanfiction is a gift. If my gift is not to your liking, that is ok. If you feel that tagging instances where I use the term is insufficient accommodation, that to use "Rat" to refer to the Drifter at all is propagating racism and that there can never be any other interpretation for it, then that is your belief and there is nothing I can do to change that.

Reason is an ineffective argument against an idea based in belief.

However, this is me here and now telling you that my stories are made with love… for the characters, the story, and the readers who interact with them. In my mind, racism, dehumanization, and treating humans like vermin is not part of the love I am putting out into the world. I feel I have a reasonable and logical basis to support my own beliefs about this. Yet, I am cognizant that, for me, that, too, is a belief, and perhaps I am wrong and am emotionally attached to the term because of my own lived experience which informs how Eris calling the Drifter "Rat" makes me feel.

But art is about how we feel, is it not? That's the point. That's the difference between a human and an algorithm that just regurgitates ideas stolen from others, vomited up in a predigested remix based on what someone types into a prompt.

I write what I feel.

I love the Drifter. I love his ethnicity. I love how he and Eris are written within Destiny. I love writing stories about them loving each other. I love and cherish everyone who reads my words. I want to send more love into the world.

If I have failed, and my attachment to the beautiful use of a term others deem unacceptable taints everything for you, then so be it.

But the love is still there. And to me, it is the love that matters.

Aiat.

[numinousmysteries]

All the Seeds

@eightnightsofmulder

@today-in-fic

Eight Nights of Mulder Day Six: Dreidel [on Ao3]

December 1998

He almost kissed me in his hallway. He lets her call him Fox. He loves me. He loves me not.  He came all the way to Antarctica to save my life. He ditched me with Gibson Praise to drive off with her in Phoenix.  He loves me. He loves me not.  He said he loved me when he was high on painkillers. He probably told her that countless times while sober. He loves me. He loves me not. 

Being off the X-Files is bad for us. Running background checks on fertilizer purchases uses up  too small a fraction of my brain power and frees up too much of my energy to think about other things…like what the fuck is going on in my partner’s head. He’s moody and more impatient than normal. His behavior borders on flirtatious at times but if I play along, he recoils.

When we worked on the X-Files together, Mulder and I were in sync. We rarely shared an opinion, but we had our routine well-established: Theory, countertheory, hunches, wild goose chases, and typically ending up just as clueless as when we started. It was a well-choreographed dance. We could do all the steps with our eyes closed.

Now, we’re stomping all over each other’s toes. Our rhythm is off. Sometimes it seems like we’re having two different conversations at the same time.

I don’t want to say it’s all Diana Fowley’s fault, but she sure as fuck isn’t helping. She tends to always have an excuse to call him down to the basement with a question about a case. She inevitably makes her way up to the bullpen around lunchtime to see if he wants to get something to eat. Mulder usually asks if I’d like to join, but I know it’s an empty invitation. 

I’m not proud of it, but I do have a jealous streak. It isn’t even always romantic, either. I remember competing with my siblings for my father’s attention, and burning with anger if he seemed more impressed with one of them at any given moment. It was the same in school, from the time I was a child all the way through Quantico. I had such a desire to please my teachers and needed to be the favorite in every class. 

Needless to say, being the subject of Mulder’s undivided attention—with the exception of the weekly cryptid or the occasional busty entomologist—for nearly six years felt good. Having to share him with Diana Fowley does not. 

I know they have history. And I know she’s attractive. But it’s not even that. It’s the effect she has on him. The way he’ll believe anything she says without a scrap of evidence. The way she makes me feel like a nagging shrew. The way she gets to call him Fox. 

He’s coming back from lunch now, striding across the bullpen towards me, and, is he…whistling? I sincerely hope all he had to eat was a sandwich. 

“Hey, Scully,” he says, smiling. “It’s unseasonably warm out. What do you say we get out of here for a bit?”

“You’ve been gone for nearly an hour. Weren’t you at lunch with Agent Fowley?” I ask.

“Nah,” he says. “She got an urgent phone call before we made it out of the building, so I just went back to my apartment to pick up this book on cryptozoology that’s been on my mind.”

I notice he’s empty-handed. “But you didn’t find it?”

Mulder shakes his head. “I think it might still be in our old office. But I found something else.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small wooden top.

“A dreidel?”

“Yeah,” he says, smiling. “This was mine when I was a kid. Ended up in the back of my bookcase somehow. Come on, I’ll teach you how to play. ‘Tis the season, after all, and I promise it’ll be more fun than running another background check. Although that isn’t saying much.” 

I could use a break. This work is mind-numbingly dull and playing hooky for an afternoon with Mulder sounds much more intriguing. I return his smile and shrug on my coat. 

As I’m following him through the bullpen, he calls out to me, a little too loudly, “I hope we’re not stuck on this stakeout the rest of the day, but knowing our perp I wouldn’t bet on making it back before sunset.” 

“That’s too bad, Agent Mulder,” I reply, matching his volume and trying not to grin. “I was hoping to get ahead on all this paperwork.” 

The elevator down to the lobby is crowded but he gives me a conspiratorial wink and I feel myself blushing. I’m pressed up close to him and can smell his musk and aftershave. We both can’t help but laugh once the lobby’s revolving door propels us onto the sidewalk. He’s right. It’s warm out for December and in the sun I barely need my coat. 

We wander until we’re a safe distance from getting spotted and find ourselves a bench near the reflecting pool. Thanks to the temperate weather, the Mall is busy and we can easily blend in with the crowd of tourists and office workers.

“Ever played dreidel before, Scully?” he asks.

“I can’t say I have.” 

“It’s easy.” He holds the top out to me in his palm.

“This is nun,” he explains, pointing to the side of the dreidel embossed with a character that looks like a backward letter C. “If your spin lands on nun, you do nothing, which is easy to remember. But nun looks deceptively similar to gimel”—he turns the top to a side with a nearly identical symbol, but this one has a little leg sticking out of the bottom, “and if you land on gimel, you get the whole pot.”

“What’s in our pot, Mulder?” I ask. 

“Sam and I used to play with gelt but since we don’t have any, we can use these instead,” he says, pulling a bag of sunflower seeds out of his jacket pocket. 

“If you land on shin,” he says, showing me a character that looks like a W, “you have to add a coin, or a seed in our case, to the pot. That leaves hey”—now he shows me the final side of the dreidel— “and that means you take half the pot.”

“I think I got it,” I say.

He starts divvying up a pile of seeds between the two of us. He brings one to his mouth, cracks open the shell with his teeth, and eats it. I’ve seen him do the same motion hundreds of times and it always makes me wonder what else his nimble mouth is capable of. I’m sure Diana has intimate knowledge of that. 

“For good luck,” he says. 

“Sure, Fox,” I say teasingly. 

He cringes.

“Sorry,” I say, my eyes drifting to my pile of sunflower seeds. “That’s what Diana calls you.” 

“Yes, and I hate it,” he says. “I’ve asked her not to, but it’s not a battle worth fighting. I think she does it just to irritate me.” 

“I know you two were,” I pause. “Together.”

Why am I prying? He knows that I know. I know he’ll never say anything outwardly negative about her as much as I wish that he would. And I don’t want him to think that I’m fishing. But I can’t resist. 

“A long time ago,” he says quietly.  

“It must be nice to have her back, though” I say. “An old friend.”

He shrugs and plucks one seed from each of our piles to start the pot. 

“You go first,” he says, handing me the dreidel. 

I give it a flick with my fingers but my spin is too enthusiastic and the dreidel ends up falling off the bench.

“Easy there, tiger,” Mulder says with a laugh, leaning over to pick it up off the ground. 

I try again more gently, and land on hey. “Nice, Scully,” he says, as I take one seed back from the pot. 

We go back and forth like this for a while, our respective sunflower seed piles growing and shrinking. 

“I never did this with Diana,” he says absentmindedly as he adds to the pot after landing on shin. 

“You don’t need to tell me that, Mulder,” I say softly, once again avoiding his eyes. 

“It’s true,” he says, bringing his fingertips to my chin, encouraging me to look up and face him. “I’m not going to lie to you. We were very close for a while and, at the time, I would’ve said she was the love of my life—”

I flinch and hope he doesn’t notice. 

“—but that was before I met you.” 

“Oh, please, Mulder,” I say, leaning back and away from him. “You were in a relationship with her. You lived together. You were…intimate. I’m just your partner.”

“I hope you don’t believe that, Scully,” he says sternly, and I realize he’s serious. “I thought I loved Diana because she was the first person to accept me for who I am, but it didn’t take long to realize that she didn’t really see me. She saw a version of me that she felt she could mold into someone she’d want to be with. When I didn’t want to go along with that, she picked up and left. But you see me, Scully. You really see me for who I am and you haven’t run away yet.”

He reaches across our sunflower seed piles to hold my hand. His touch is gentle yet firm, as if to reassure me. My lips are trembling and I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I’m scared to speak, not knowing what sounds will come out. 

“And I see you,” he continues. “You’re so fucking loyal and honest and you fight for what you believe in. You’re principled and kind and even though you challenge me every day, there’s no one else I’d rather argue with. You give my life meaning.”

He squeezes my hand tighter. I try to hold back my tears but it’s no use. I blink and they’re streaming warm down my face. My heart and my mind are racing. Passersby are milling all around us but we’re frozen like statues. 

“Mulder,” I gasp. “I don’t know what to say.” 

“You don’t have to say anything,” he says, smiling as he passes me the dreidel. “Just spin.”

Catching my breath, I give the dreidel one last spin on the bench. 

“Gimel!” he shouts excitedly. “You get all the seeds, Scully. And all of me. Don’t forget that.” 

“Too bad I don’t like sunflower seeds,” I say, smiling at him shyly. 

“Well, I can take those off your hands,” he says, sweeping all three piles of seeds back towards him. “But you are stuck with me, unfortunately.”

We lock eyes. “I can live with that,” I say. 

He returns the seeds to the plastic bag and tucks it back into his jacket pocket. As we walk back to the Hoover building, he drapes his arm around me. For the first time in months, we’re back in sync. 

I think he just might love me.

[panlight]

I got a new job and it's not ideal, lol. In honor of that, what job would each of the Cullens absolutely HATE to do? Either because of their powers or because of the personalities?

Alice would work at like a Walmart or Target or something monitoring the fitting rooms. Cheap off the rack fashion, horror!

I feel like Jasper going to high school is already a terrible idea that he would hate, so him teaching high school would also be bad? Surrounded by all those intense teenage Feelings and of course all the blood.

Carlisle, to me, is as well-adjusted as he is because of being a doctor, he feels like he is helping people, that he is putting his vampirism to good use. So a job he would hate would be something just utterly useless. Like some middle tier corporate office job where he is just filling out paperwork all day with no tangible result. Like sure doctors have lots of paperwork too but it's for something, this is just like, expenditure reports or who knows what for some faceless, soulless corporation that is inevitable harming the world.

Edward would probably hate just about anything, lol, mostly because of his gift making it unbearable. But since he hated the 60s and 70s music so much, I feel like he's got to be like, a bartender at some 70s themed bar or something. Judging everyone for drinking and loose morals and also having to listen to "terrible" music.

Rosalie is a mascot. You know one of those big character costumes so no one can see her face. She's getting attention, but getting attention for being this goofy, ugly cartoon character. (This is starting to feel more like less a terrible job and more like 'here is how they are tortured in the Bad Place). No way to maintain her dignity. And she has to see little kids with their parents all the time.

Emmett and Esme are both more of 'make the best of it' types so it's harder to come up with something they truly couldn't just kind of go along with at least to some degree. I guess Emmett having to be serious and quiet would be hard on him. Oh, he's a funeral director. Just counter to his energy in every way (although some of the clients probably find him refreshing).

Esme's on a remote scientific mission in the middle of nowhere, far away from her family for months on end. It's like, Antarctica, so no plants, no art, nothing to build, very few people and they are all dour middle aged scientists who don't need a mom figure. She still tries, though.

[0hgross]

⸻ one minute, thirty seven seconds, two thousand sixty three milliseconds and FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. Watching paint dry could be less excruciating than this, but he schools it down, that blistering irritation. He's better than this, cool — ice chill like Antarctica . . . ' fuck that shit, the icecaps are melting anyway. ' Should he just barged into her room anyway? He's chewing on the bottom of his lips, calculates the chances of her being awake, her being half dress or her being dead .

Then a bright idea, EQ returning to him, blasting his cranium with a memory of what exactly to do during trying times like this.

He knocks on her ( @dreamie-psychic ) door, knuckles hitting the wood just right. Like a gentleman, he's not a total monster, not yet anyway. " oi! Momina, come out for a sec! " His tummy makes a little backflip and he thinks it lands in his guts like a loser bitch cause suddenly he feels like puking.

[kaitropoli]

British Bats at Home

Cassell's Natural History (VOL. I).

Engraving, 1896.

Online PDF/eBook Link.

LITTLE NOTE, NOT SO IMPORTANT.

Yes, I could take this time to yap about bats and how cool those little creatures are, but (tragically) I won't--and I could promise you that I will in a future post, but I tend to forget </x

(This is more of an apology note, but I will throw a few little facts your way as compensation).

I couldn't find an illustrator (womp, womp). Many sources only listed one of the authors (without proper credit listing them as anything other than writer/editor); therefore, no artist I can list. However, you can still admire the pretty photos while digesting outdated knowledge from this late 19th-century book... though I wouldn't necessarily read the link I gave as the online PDF/eBook edited the original source (this alteration is from 2017)--this is only a discretion if you wanted to consume the original thing. It seemed more that it was changed to fit the site format. Still, they even changed some chapter names, so it could be a mix of both new and old information (all I'm saying is that I didn't go through the book fully... hell, it's long... but I wanted y'all to know in case since the link takes you to a specific point rather than the index where information on the source is listed.

Now time for... drumroll please...

drumming

drumming

drumming

~~~!~!~!~BAT-!~!~!-FACTS~!~!~!~~~

applause

Okay, okay. You can stop clapping now. Please, I'm blushing. Knock it off, omg, I'm serious.

The scientific name for bat is Chiroptera (1779 by Blumenbach).

They are found in every continent besides Antarctica (although imagine them next to a polar bear... how cute would that be?).

Contrary to popular belief, not all bats hibernate. Various species of bat pull a goose, opting to migrate to gather food in warmer climates.

Bats should stay far away from school zones; as the only flying mammal, they tend to reach 60+ mph while zooming in the air. Feel that wind on your face.

One of the snacks they like to munch on are moths (yes, we're closing with a less interesting one; no, I'm not keeping my bat and moth Squishmallows together anymore💀😭).

Click the links above 'n' below to view the full sources (no. 5 has the most in-depth one about pipistrelli).

U.S. DOI

The Nature Conservancy

Smithsonian

Thank you for letting me snatch your time! Much love; Kaiti <x

(Oh, and if you want to add anything or know the illustrator, please let me know! I'd love to credit them, despite them being dead and all).