#mwah mwah

[fushitoru]

guys, i beg. i dont care about critique usually but like im on my period i was so gagged to see 50% of my new asks telling me what was wrong with the latest chapter/bridgerton!gojo series LMAOOO like i thought i ate too i was soooo gagged

regardless....ive just been blocking people, i can't tell the difference between them and the troll that started sending me death threats after i responded to their provocations so erm i guess im asking ppl to stop sending me critiques. i didnt hire you to be my beta reader / im not paid for this / i didnt plan this out well ahead of time / idk why people have such high expectations of my writing when im j doing this for funsies...i agree with you that its shit tho! so do urself a favor and stop reading before i block you and FORCE you to stop reading :D

i know some people can be well meaning and want to give me feedback but i cant bring myself to care lolllzzz

anyways negativity hate mentions over imma go to sleep

[lavanfalas]

Zevwarden :)))

[ruthytwoshakes]

Fucking huge fan of these ships because how the HELL did he do that. An inspiration to us cringe fail butches everywhere. You have brains and brawn and then this guy. What.

[breadhoundpng]

Uh Stanley this was not supposed to happen in your story ??? Um Anyway

[toucheholland23]

I am so normal about clip.exe guys. Trust

[real-skel]

I know I draw them being gay and playing tongue guitar all the time but let’s be real they were not always like that

[rennenaway]

I mean

I'm not wrong?

[unwri-ten]

Happy 2 followers

[shaadowmilkcookie]

[sceletaflores]

•｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ i just want to sit on his lap FUCK || MDNI

The crackle of the fire plays a soft counterpoint to Joel's slow, steady breaths. You've been perched on his lap for who knows how long by this point, your back pressed against his broad chest, his strong arms wrapped around you in that possessive way that always makes you feel entirely his.

The warmth of him has seeped into your skin through the thin layer of your top, his rough palms sliding up and down the soft expanse of your inner thighs as they're draped over his own, spread so wide it has your muscles aching.

"Quit your wrigglin', baby," he mutters, voice gravelly against your ear. He nips at the shell of it lightly, his beard scraping along your jaw. "Keep 'em spread for me."

You gasp as his fingers slip through the mess of wetness between your thighs, his touch calloused and rough against the throbbing bud of your clit. Your hands grab desperately at the scratchy fabric of his jeans, palming the thick muscle underneath.

You try to stop the tremor of your thighs threatening to snap shut around his wrist, but it's all in vain. It's been minutes since he pulled the soaked fabric of your panties aside to expose your slick pussy to the cool air of the cabin, and every passing second since has left you teetering closer and closer to the edge.

Joel's only been toying with you—rubbing tortuously slow circles over your puffy clit, dragging his fingers through your drenched folds to press against your clenching hole but never enough to delve inside, all the while whispering filth directly into your ear with that low, smoky, rumbling tone that drives you crazy. The tone that pounds through you like a second heartbeat.

He's brought you to the brink over and over again, just to deny you when you're finally straddling the line of your own sweet release.

Your hips buck up against his hand impatiently, chasing the friction Joel insists on cruelly rationing out. You let out a frustrated whimper, the sound swallowed by the steady snap of the fire and the deep chuckle reverberating through his chest.

Your hands grip his thighs tighter, nails biting into the denim as if the sting might tether you to sanity. "Joel."

His name slips from your lips in a plea that feels both helpless and demanding.

"What's that, honey?" His lips brush the curve of your jaw as he speaks, his tone bordering on mocking. "You gotta use your words for me if you want somethin', you know that."

The smugness in his voice should irritate you, but it only sends another rush of heat pooling between your legs. "Please,” you beg, your voice trembling as much as your thighs. “Please, Joel, I–”

He hums breezily, the deep vibration sinking into your bones as he finally moves his hand with intent. Two fingers dip into your aching hole, thick and unyielding and stretching you deliciously as they sink knuckle-deep.

The sudden fullness knocks the breath out of you, a devastatingly desperate noise bursting from your lips as your head falls back against his shoulder. 

“That what you needed, pretty?” Joel soothes, curling his fingers to brush up against that spongy spot just behind your clit. “Christ, you’re fuckin’ tight. Strangling my goddamn fingers.”

He shifts slightly, spreading his knees to angle you impossibly wider. His other hand comes up, tugging at the hem of your shirt, pulling it up so his warm, rough palm could roam over your stomach. He was everywhere at once—teasing, stroking, claiming.

"Such a messy pussy," he drawls, his fingers speeding up inside you. "She’s gettin’ my hand all wet. You like when your old man touches you down here, darlin'?"

A loud moan tears its way out of your throat, your back arching off his chest as Joel sets a relentless pace. 

He’s right, you’re so fucking wet. The squelch of your pussy around his fingers makes your ears burn, shame mixed with arousal churning through your core at the filthy, wet sounds that fill the room. Your juices drench his palm, dripping down his wrist to trail along the skin of his forearm where it seeps into the fabric of his rolled up flannel sleeve.

Your cheeks warm at the idea of your essence staining his shirt, at the idea of Joel wanting that. Your claim on him as he patrols, as he helps Tommy finish patching up the cabin's roof, as he cleans his guns in the living room–a dirty secret only the two of you know about.

It has your whole body tensing, sparks shooting up your spine, lighting up each notch of vertebrae on its way to burst bright white through your brain. The spring inside of you coils tighter and tighter, threatening to snap any second.

‘’That’s it, baby,” Joel growls, his voice molten in your ear. “You gonna come for me? I can feel how she’s clenchin’ up, desperate thing.”

He pulls his fingers out suddenly, not even giving you any time to protest before he’s sliding them over the wet expanse of your pussy, from your clit down to your abused hole in quick succession.

Your body feels like it’s on fire, phantom flames licking at every inch of exposed skin. Your nails dig into Joel’s thighs even more fiercely than before as you feel the signs of your release building from deep within you.

Joel’s hand is a blur between your legs, slick fingers slipping over your swollen, puffy pussy fast enough to send your head reeling. His name falls from your lips in a breathless chant, and he chuckles against your skin, dark and smug.

The spray of your release around the flat of his fingers is sudden, a gush that washes over his hand and the couches upholstery. 

Your body trembles uncontrollably, your hips bucking against his hand as every nerve feels like it’s sparking to life. The pleasure floods through you, dizzying and relentless, blurring everything but the feeling of Joel’s touch.

Joel groans like he’s the one soaking the floor, his lips pressed to the crown of your skull. He doesn’t stop. His fingers never slow, circling and tweaking until your thighs finally clamp shut around his hand. The wetness of your orgasm coats his skin, slick and messy, and his growl of satisfaction is the only thing that pierces through the white noise rushing in your ears. 

It takes a few long moments for your breath to even out, for the aftershocks to stop rippling through your limbs. Joel finally takes pity on you, his touch gentling as he withdraws his fingers with care, his hand stroking your thigh in lazy circles.

“Look at that,” he murmurs, his tone brimming with pride as he lifts his slick-coated fingers into the firelight, letting the evidence of your pleasure glisten before his eyes. “So fuckin’ good for me.”

Your cheeks burn, a mix of exhaustion and lingering desire blooming across your skin as you slump against his chest, turning your head to meet his gaze. Joel’s eyes are dark, hungry, and so utterly possessive it makes your stomach flip.

Without breaking eye contact, he brings his fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean with a low hum of satisfaction.

“Sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted,” he says, his lips curling into a smirk. “Reckon I’ll need to have another bite soon.”

Your body trembles in response, knowing damn well he’ll make good on that promise before the night is over.

mini nat's note: idk i was in a mood...fill out my taglist if you want more joel content :)

[lumiraette]

THE MOST HANDSOME (AND MOST UNDERRATED) BSD CHARACTER 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[le-fandom-prince]

have some Sherlock pics while i fight writers block

okay, peace

[try-set-me-on-fire]

if you call, I’ll turn on the light for you

[moobieni]

Strawberry soundwave!! 🍓

aaand ES soundwave i did a WHILE back when only a few screenshots of him were all the reference we had😭

[driftsart]

GUYS OH MY GOD TF ONE I NEED TO SEE IT AGAIN I LOVED IT SO SOO MUCH HELP MEEEEEEE 😭😭😭

[drabblejester]

good day, mister jester :) I see youre taking request. sicne you yourself are a jester, might i ask how the archons would deal with having their own jester? (making silly jokes, harmless pranks etc) how they acquire said jester is up to you!

how the ARCHONS would treat you as their JESTER!

requested by: wonderful sillay anon!!

parings: all archons & jester!reader

content warnings: none!! just silliness

comments: take this as romantic(NOT FOR NAHIDA) or platonic idc HEEHEE!! this is a splendid ask thank u my liege <3 probably ooc

VENTI:

you’re jester’d by him after he found you on the street, while he was bumbling around drunk. thought you were funny, so he just tagged you along!!

and oooh he LOVES you!!! he writes so many songs for you to dance along to, happily singing and strumming his little lyre while you bust a move

if anything its the both of you that are the jesters… instead of you being in a ‘jester & god’ scenario, its more of a ‘jester & jester’ thing. you tell eachother jokes, sing with eachother, etc! and after yall have fun, you lay down in the grass together and snooze :3

ZHONGLI:

you’re jester’d by him after one of the millith recommend you to him, saying many good things about you and your antics!!! he meets you in person and it goes well!!

despite his strong and gentle demeanor, he will giggle and watch you happily. in fact, he actually HELPS you pull off pranks. ranging from replacing all of venti’s sugar with salt, painting on the hull of beidou’s ship, or snatching masks from fatuus, you’re having fun alongside him sometimes!!!

he treats you super well, lavishing you with yummy treats and delicious tea. he makes a little room for you somewhere in the inn, and always makes sure you’re happy and well taken care of.

RAIDEN:

you’re jester’d by her after miss sara almost puts you in jail. thankfully, your silly demeanor and joyous attitude captivated her. so you get to go free! as long as you can provide her some entertainment sometimes.

she actually doesn’t have you entertain her that often, just kinda keeps you around like a cool rock. more often, you’ll find yourself entertaining her guards and her loyal followers instead. which is still nice!

she’ll try her best to take care of you, but ultimately ends up just plopping you in the hands of the people she trusts. she isn’t too fond of your pranks but she loves your performances, so you’re equipped with props and costumes :3

NAHIDA:

you’re jester’d by her after you were grabbed by the scruff by a forest ranger, gently being ushered back into the city like a lost cat. which you might as well be! she saw you, you told her a few jokes and gave her some candy, and she got somewhat attached

she really likes your jokes!!! simple puns only, and the occasional riddle. a lot of the time, she’d actually be telling YOU riddles! sadly they’re very hard to figure out so good luck. you get to teach her about certain jokes but you have to explain the punchlines 50% of the time

life with her is very simple, she holds you as an equal (maybe even as a sibling figure?) unlike other archons like raiden or mavuika. you entertain her, and she entertains you! like a nice equal exchange of knowledge in the form of silly jokes.

FURINA:

you’re jester’d after being caught by the guardes for breaking some obscure law, probably related to a prank you pulled. you’re dragged into court (which breaks your silly heart…), furina sees you, and VERRYY dramatically calls for a halt. she runs away with you(and neuvillette on your tail).

she treats you like a secret, not in a weird way but in a.. whispers to you to go and check out the magazine selection and sends you off like her personal little scarab. it’s very obvious you two are hanging out because BOTH of you became 10x more dramatic, but she refuses everything.

your living situation is like roommates, despite her holding some power over you. neuvillette insisted that you get a separate apartment but you both complained enough to where you got to stay hanging out. you’re like best friends!! you eat sweets together, hang out, etc. she even teaches you some of her super secret acting techniques!!!

MAVUIKA:

you’re jester’d after you become hopelessly lost in natlan, miserably jingling across the floor, and winding up in a family of saurians. she finds you all sad and weeping and ue ue ue, and takes you in like a little baby birdie.

actually, you don’t do much entertaining with her! when you do, it’s usually her trying to train you to become strong. thankfully your little kicks and sad punches don’t do much to her. so to cheer you up, she lets you tell her riddles and stories and jokes. turns out she is a SUCKER for puns.

you get to hang out in natlan wherever you want, like tossing a bird in the air and letting it fly away for a bit. your best nap spot is in a very cramped little cave, all cozied up with one blanket to make the edges less sharp. surprisingly it’s very cozy! you can even curl up above on the rocks like a lizard!!!!

TSARITSA:

you’re jester’d by her after a few fatuus find you all sad and wet in the city, jingling about and being a general disturbance to the peace (as god intended). you’re dragged all the way to the palace, to get judged. you’re not put in as a harbinger but you get to be a fool one way or another!

speaking of harbingers, they either love you or hate you. the tsaritsa will always ensure your safety from the weirdness of dottore and the edginess of signora, but you can’t help but be a little upset by them. she’ll wipe your tears and allow you to dance around the palace to help you feel better :3

you get free reign over the palace whether the harbingers like it or not. curled up on lab tables, hunched under chairs, maybe stealing a fatuu grunt’s bed, etc. and they don’t get to say anything bad about you because you’re the tsaritsa’s special little jester! pierro is still upset that you stole his cool nickname though

eat up my liege… leave no crumbs either. i just swept the floor