#mwah mwah

[viperify]

plssss g🙈 I really gotta teach u how to love Tom at any time. SEE HOW HOT HE IS???

I am so happy u liked and thank u sm for taking ur time to reblog n give feeback🥹 love u sm!!

oneshots | ᴛᴏᴍ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ X ɢʀʏꜰꜰɪɴᴅᴏʀ ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

₊˚. 🂼 Losing Game. | pt 2

Short Summary: Tom tells you to meet him in the Potions classroom—something quite unusual on a Friday evening, especially the day you get to know you lost the second bet as well…

Warnings: 18+ only! impact play, fingering, slight choking, unprotected p in v, praise, cum play, creampie

A/N: I should have studied instead of writing this. I didn’t. I need Tom to make bets with me next.

wordcount: 2,0k

read part 1 before! <3

You should know it is not just another ordinary tutoring lesson. Not at 8pm on a Friday. Not in the potions classroom he claims to have the right to use as a head boy. Especially not on the day you got your exam results back—the one you should have outscored him on—but, again, didn’t.

The truth is, you didn’t intend to. Didn’t even try.

Not because you didn’t want to—by any means, even now that your relationship has improved, you would still gladly take any chance to humble him.

But what he had told you—what he’d want from you in case you lost again—stuck with you. The tone of his voice, the smug expression on his face—the one that, since childhood, has made you want to wrap your hands around his throat—sends your mind spiraling. Keeping you up at night, having you press your thighs together as his words replay in your head.

If I outscore you tomorrow, I get to fuck you—properly.

Thoughts you never expected you’d have played in your mind—not about him. Not about Tom Riddle, the person you are supposed to despise.

So, naturally, when he tells you to meet him that evening, not in the library like usual but in the Potions classroom—you can’t help but think.

Assume.

Expect.

You get ready. Scrambling through your drawer until something catches your attention—a matching set of lace underwear. You contemplate. If this is just another tutoring session, you’ll feel pathetic, but if it’s not…

You decide to put it on.

It’s already dark when you leave your dorm. One hour before curfew means most people are in their respective dormitories, allowing you to reach the classroom without being seen. A flicker of hesitation forms in your chest when your hand touches the cool metal of the door handle, but after a second, you push it down and step inside.

Your eyes scan the place as you walk further into the only faintly illuminated place, but there is no sign of him. Cauldrons and open textbooks on one of the desks are the only things that catch your attention, and you assume it might just be another ordinary tutoring session after all—

“Delusional, you said?”

You shriek as his words cut through the silence, turning around to face him, but you don’t get the chance to respond. His lips are on yours just a split second later, stealing your breath away while his hands make quick work of your robes, carelessly dropping the freshly washed fabric to the floor. You make a low sound of disapproval at that, but he doesn’t stop, fingers now hastily working at the buttons of your blouse—never breaking the kiss.

He wants you bare in front of him, no, needs to finally see what you have been hiding from him until now, feel your gorgeous curves without the barrier of clothes. To mark you as his.

Tonight he would finally get to touch you properly, not like the first time he had you on your knees in here, not like the countless times he had you pressed up against bookshelves in the library during your tutoring lessons since then, kissing down your neck like a man starved.

A cool breeze sends a shiver down your spine as the last piece of fabric falls to the floor, leaving you in nothing but your underwear—and by then he must have realised, because he just stares at you for a short moment, eyes wandering over your exposed skin with the same spark in them as he had at the party.

“You planned this, didn’t you?” Tom muses, his thumb tracing along the waistband of the lace adorning your hips. “You lost on purpose,” he adds, fingers tilting your chin upwards so you are forced to meet his gaze. “so I’d fuck you.”

You feel your cheeks heating up—because deep down you know he is right, and that you shouldn’t have underestimated how quickly he’d find out about it. Still, you refused to admit it, shaking your head.

“No, I—“

Slap.

Before you can even finish your sentence, his palm comes down on the side of your face, not hard enough to hurt, merely leaving a slight sting that feels, if anything, more pleasant than painful. Only when his hand caresses over the spot he has just struck do you look back up at him, darkened eyes staring down into yours.

“Don’t lie to me.”

Before you know it, his hand is wrapped around your upper arm, dragging you towards the middle of the classroom, bending you over one of the desks so your upper body is flush against the cool wood.

Your breath catches as he nudges your legs apart with his knee, fingertips brushing over your inner thighs, slowly travelling up until he reaches the damp fabric of your panties. Tom’s second hand presses down between your shoulder blades, making sure you stay exactly where he wants you as his fingers slip beneath the lace, pushing the material to the side. He huffs at the sight of your cunt, already glistening with arousal, not yet touching you—but thinking of how he will ruin you tonight.

“Tom—“ you whimper weakly, instinctively trying to close your legs at how exposed you feel, bent over in front of him as his palm brushes over your cunt, feeling your need for him. But he doesn’t allow it—his leg stays firmly between yours, keeping you spread open for him.

“Too late to be shy now, sweetheart.” He mocks, fingers slipping between your folds, gathering your arousal as he trails lower, teasingly circling your entrance before he pushes inside, drawing soft moans and gasps from you. He knows just how to curl them to have your back arch, working you open, preparing you for him.

“So wet for me already. Been thinking about this the entire day, haven’t you?” He drawls, withdrawing his fingers before he brings them to your mouth, fingertips pressing against your lips as he asks you to part them for him. “Taste yourself. Taste your shame.”

Reluctantly you obey his command, allowing him inside until you feel him press against your tongue, tasting yourself on his skin. He waits for you to pull back, to tell him he’s ridiculous like you have done so many times—but it never comes, instead, you swirl your tongue around his fingers, cleaning yourself off him just like he told you to.

And that’s when he knows he’s got you wrapped around his finger.

The next thing you hear is his belt dropping to the floor with a thud, and you turn your head to watch him undo the zipper of his trousers, meeting his eyes—eyes that shine with a dark hint of satisfaction. His fingers then travel down your spine with the faintest touch, tugging at the waistband of your panties until they too fall to the ground, left to pool at your ankles.

And then, you feel him. Pressing against you before his tip slips between your folds, coating himself in your slick, faintly brushing over your swollen clit—teasing you, testing your restraint even as you try to buck your hips against him, chasing any friction you can find.

He wants you, needs you just like he knows you need him—but he craves to hear you beg for him, he longs for you to finally shatter and submit to him.

“You think you deserve it yet? Beg for it, beg for me to give you what you want.”

“Fuck you, Riddle.”

A harsh slap on the curve of your ass sends your body jolting forward as far as the wood beneath you allows you to. “And here I thought we were over that name.”

“Tom— fuck, please. Please, I want to feel you,” you whine, too lost in the ecstasy of his touch to complain. His fingers tangle in your hair, yanking your head back as he leans in, his hot breath ghosting over your skin.

“Again.”

You are aware he is toying with you, shamelessly using the position he has you in to prove his point—prove that he is in power. And yet—

“Merlin, Tom— please.”

“Good fucking girl,” he breathes, allowing you to rest your head on the desk as he aligns himself with your slick entrance, hands finding a firm grip on your hips, which you know will leave bruises for you to remind you of him—his touch. You feel him pushing past your resistance then, splitting you apart around him with the most blissful sting.

He doesn’t wait for you to adjust to his size, burying himself to the hilt with one sharp, calculated thrust that has you cry out, knuckles turning white from how hard you are holding onto the edge of the desk.

And when his hips are flush with yours, feeling how tight and warm you feel, wrapped around his length so perfectly, a low groan spills over his lips, grip on your hips tightening as if he wanted to stay there forever.

Only when you manage a soft, desperate “please” does he finally move, torturously slowly pulling out of you, letting you feel every ridge and vein of his cock before snapping his hips forwards, burying himself deep once more.

“So greedy.” Tom growls, giving you one more teasing roll of his hips, enough to make you whimper before he sets a steady rhythm, pulling you back against him with every thrust. “Who would have known.”

Your walls clench tightly around his length as he repeatedly brushes against your most sensitive spot, one of his hands wandering underneath you, finding your puffy clit, rubbing tight circles on the sensitive bud.

Your whimpers and moans only spur him on, seeing how your legs tremble. His hips snap against yours mercilessly—almost as if he had a point to prove.

“Feel you clenching around me,” he rasps, hand leaving your clit to wrap around your throat softly, tilting your head backwards. “Come for me. Make a mess, sweetheart.”

It’s the nickname that has you finally tumble over the edge, his name falling over your lips like a prayer as you do, the coil in your lower stomach finally snapping. Your walls eagerly pulse around his cock, drawing a muffled groan from the brunette behind you, his fingertips digging into your flesh at the added sensation.

He fucks you through your orgasm and its aftershocks, never letting up his pace until your body goes limp on the desk, soon spilling himself deep inside of your cunt, painting your walls white with his warm release.

Tom’s chest rises and falls with every deep breath he takes, leaning over you.

“Okay?” He whispers, wiping a strand of hair from your face, pressing a kiss just below your ear.

“Okay.” You reply weakly, thighs trembling, his cock still buried within you. A satisfied grin tugs at the corner of his mouth, placing another kiss on your shoulder before he gently pulls out of you.

A soft whimper falls over your lips as he leaves you empty, hearing him get dressed as you lay boneless on the rough wooden surface. He returns to your side afterwards, his hand tenderly running up your inner thigh.

“Look at you,” he purrs, “so pretty with my cum dripping down your thighs.”

Normally you’d complain, run your mouth, but now—you just hum in agreement, too exhausted to find a snarky comeback.

He laughs softly at your state, two of his fingers gathering his release, pushing it back inside of your sensitive walls. “Can’t let anything go to waste, can we?”

Tom helps you up then, steadying you when your knees are about to give in. Handing you your clothes, he lets you put them on, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“From now on, no more bets. You are mine.”

And when you wake up in his bed the next day, his arm protectively wrapped around your waist—you know he wasn’t lying.

Thank you for reading!! Feedback is as always appreciated <33

[ruthytwoshakes]

Fucking huge fan of these ships because how the HELL did he do that. An inspiration to us cringe fail butches everywhere. You have brains and brawn and then this guy. What.

[shaadowmilkcookie]

[dontlookatme121]

of course <3 thank you for sharing your work, im really excited to read more!!

here are the fics i enjoyed between march 11th-21st 2025! some new, some old. mostly smut so MDNI! (i may have forgotten a few)

characters: javier peña, joel miller, frankie morales, marcus acacius

my other fic rec lists: march 1st - 11th fic recs, main ppcu smut rec list (almost everything i read between july 2024 - feb 2025)

a/n: since people liked the last one, i’m back with more thots, fav quotes, and some must-read fics. i'm glad i could turn my smut addiction into a little hobby to share with others, i've had a lot of fun making these lists. PSA: my thoughts are a bit more crazed than the last one, sorry, the smut was just so good im losing my mind over here.

note to the authors: you guys are so talented it needs to be studied. thank you for sharing your art <3 *mwah mwah*

WARNING: some of these fics contain dark themes that could be triggering. i will try to label accordingly, but PLEASE read the warnings. not all of these are for everyone!

smut- ♡ angst- ★ fluff- ✿ dark- !!

♡ !! run by @almostempty (wc: 2k, oneshot) !! TW !!

pairing: marcus acacius x f!reader

summary: general acacius hunts you in the woods for ‘training’ then fucks you, duh [inspired by this post]

thoughts: …idek what to say about this besides it’s all i’ve ever wanted. sure, i could hypothetically be in a happy and fulfilling relationship one day… but i’ll never be hunted down in the woods by marcus acacius, sooo…

“Still fighting?” he murmurs. “Good.”

♡ !! OPEN WINDOWS by @pedgito (wc: 8.3k - oneshot) !! TW !!

pairing: Joel Miller x reader

summary: Joel's a pain in the ass neighbor, but fortunately he's fond of you. Alternatively, Joel's a creep and you're definitely into it.

thoughts: YEAH i’m into it. unsurprisingly another banger from @pedgito.

“You’ve been watching me?” Joel chuckles, his grip easing enough to let you pull free. “Not like you’re makin’ it hard.” “You’re sick,” you spit at him, heat rising in your cheeks. “Maybe you’re the one who needs help,” Joel counters, taking a step back. “Or, maybe it’s attention.”

★ The boyfriend act, part 8: "The one with Dante and Beatrice" by @capuccinodoll (ch wc: 12k - series) (★- only angst as of now?)

pairing: Frankie Morales x F!reader

chapter summary: Things are a little different in Frankie’s mind. Apparently, you’re in there more often than you think.

thoughts: HOLY SHIT I WANT THIS CHAPTER TATTOOED BEHIND MY EYELIDS. sorry. this is just so good, i have to speak my truth. i already made an offensively long reblog with some of my fav parts so ill try to keep this brief. here are some of the highlights: frankie’s pov (so the whole thing), the convo from the last ch in frankie’s pov, the textinggg, frankie worrying about the cats wellbeing, the sexual tension, the flirting, the conflicted feelings, the dinner convo, the shift in dynamic, literally everything.

♡ family matters part 1, part 2, & part 3 by @daryltwdixon (3 parts for now. plssss i need pt 4.)

pairing: joel miller x tommy’s wife!reader

summary: You and Tommy had been trying for a baby for years. When a trip to the gyno answers questions you didn’t even know to ask, your husband enlists the help of his one and only brother.

thoughts: AGHHHHDDJGS. what. the. fuck. this is so hot. read it.

“You’re tellin’ me,” he rasped, voice dripping in absolute filth and sin, “my pissy little brother never made you come on his cock before?”

★ ♡ !! Blind faith part 1 & part 2 by @stylesispunk (wc: 13.6k so far - series) ?? TW !!

pairing: priest!joel miller x nightclub dancer!reader

summary: Joel found you on a quiet evening when the chapel was empty, save for the flickering candlelight and the faint scent of incense clinging to the air. You were curled up on one of the wooden pews, arms folded beneath your head, chest rising and falling in the steady rhythm of sleep.

He cleared his throat, but you didn’t stir. He hesitated before reaching out, tapping your shoulder. “Miss?” His voice came softer than he expected. “You can’t sleep here.”

"Father, do you always wake up strangers like this?"

thoughts: jesus christ, this is so good. im obsessed with every aspect of this story, and i cant waittt for part 3.

(Quote from beginning of part 2:)

In the warm sunny spring of May when the night met the dark and lights reflected on the streets bustled with kids playing and families enjoyed meals. Joel was thinking about you. The cold had been replaced by the warmth irradiating from your smiled when you passed by, the way you spoke to him. The cold had left him on May 3rd, the night you walked into town with the kind of presence that made people take a second look without knowing why. Since then, things had shifted in ways Joel hadn’t expected. He felt it now, watching the world outside from the steps of the church. The night was warm, carrying the scent of fresh bread from the bakery down the street. Laughter echoed as children played in the dim glow of streetlights, their voices mixing with the low murmur of families gathered at restaurants. But Joel wasn’t thinking about any of them. He was thinking about you. Again, and again.

♡ Strawberry Swirl by @baronessvonglitter (wc: 1.9k - oneshot)

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

summary: Joel fucks you on a Ferris wheel. That is the fic.

thoughts: this is exactly what you promised and what i needed, thank you.

"You enjoyin' yourself?" he asks, wrapping his arm around you. You look up at him, the breeze whipping his graying curls. Wrinkles line his eyes, more pronounced when he smiles, and you press a kiss to his scruffy cheek then one to his soft lips. "I think we both could be having more fun.."

♡ Booty Call by @cxrsed-angel (wc: 3k - oneshot)

pairing: Javier Peña x Fem! Reader

summary: Javier calls for a booty call and of course you cant say no, even its the first time he’s coming over to your place.

thoughts: thank you for feeding my delusions with this one. this is simply a top-tier javier peña booty call fic. im always so impressed when an author fits great smut and enough characterization to make them both likable and believable into a oneshot. chefs kiss.

♡ Give up by @talaok (2 parts)

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

summary: Once again you've found an excuse to invite your neighbor over, except for once you might be able to make him look past your age difference and have a little fun.

thoughts: to sum this up; nervous old man joel gets his dick sucked, reader expects him to leave after, but he’s a gentleman and returns the favor. joel washes his hair, they fuck. AND ITS SOOO GOOD. tommy clocking him had me giggling and kicking my feet.

dividers by: hearts divider- @uzmacchiato, mdni divider- @strangergraphics, red line divider- @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

i fear that the harry castillo fics might take over the next list, so watch out.

[breadhoundpng]

Uh Stanley this was not supposed to happen in your story ??? Um Anyway

[ghostlightsahead]

They just *sob* they just mean so much to me 😭😭😭😭

Anyway they're so unbelievably in love your honour

I need them to race HARD against each other this season your honour

Yes I believe they are soulmates your honour

[toucheholland23]

I am so normal about clip.exe guys. Trust

[prettyinnacasket]

I love every one of these fandoms and the art is just, MWAH💕

[real-skel]

I know I draw them being gay and playing tongue guitar all the time but let’s be real they were not always like that

[rennenaway]

I mean

I'm not wrong?

[unwri-ten]

Happy 2 followers

[redfirefox-55]

Tfw your sibling

[sceletaflores]

•｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ i just want to sit on his lap FUCK || MDNI

The crackle of the fire plays a soft counterpoint to Joel's slow, steady breaths. You've been perched on his lap for who knows how long by this point, your back pressed against his broad chest, his strong arms wrapped around you in that possessive way that always makes you feel entirely his.

The warmth of him has seeped into your skin through the thin layer of your top, his rough palms sliding up and down the soft expanse of your inner thighs as they're draped over his own, spread so wide it has your muscles aching.

"Quit your wrigglin', baby," he mutters, voice gravelly against your ear. He nips at the shell of it lightly, his beard scraping along your jaw. "Keep 'em spread for me."

You gasp as his fingers slip through the mess of wetness between your thighs, his touch calloused and rough against the throbbing bud of your clit. Your hands grab desperately at the scratchy fabric of his jeans, palming the thick muscle underneath.

You try to stop the tremor of your thighs threatening to snap shut around his wrist, but it's all in vain. It's been minutes since he pulled the soaked fabric of your panties aside to expose your slick pussy to the cool air of the cabin, and every passing second since has left you teetering closer and closer to the edge.

Joel's only been toying with you—rubbing tortuously slow circles over your puffy clit, dragging his fingers through your drenched folds to press against your clenching hole but never enough to delve inside, all the while whispering filth directly into your ear with that low, smoky, rumbling tone that drives you crazy. The tone that pounds through you like a second heartbeat.

He's brought you to the brink over and over again, just to deny you when you're finally straddling the line of your own sweet release.

Your hips buck up against his hand impatiently, chasing the friction Joel insists on cruelly rationing out. You let out a frustrated whimper, the sound swallowed by the steady snap of the fire and the deep chuckle reverberating through his chest.

Your hands grip his thighs tighter, nails biting into the denim as if the sting might tether you to sanity. "Joel."

His name slips from your lips in a plea that feels both helpless and demanding.

"What's that, honey?" His lips brush the curve of your jaw as he speaks, his tone bordering on mocking. "You gotta use your words for me if you want somethin', you know that."

The smugness in his voice should irritate you, but it only sends another rush of heat pooling between your legs. "Please,” you beg, your voice trembling as much as your thighs. “Please, Joel, I–”

He hums breezily, the deep vibration sinking into your bones as he finally moves his hand with intent. Two fingers dip into your aching hole, thick and unyielding and stretching you deliciously as they sink knuckle-deep.

The sudden fullness knocks the breath out of you, a devastatingly desperate noise bursting from your lips as your head falls back against his shoulder. 

“That what you needed, pretty?” Joel soothes, curling his fingers to brush up against that spongy spot just behind your clit. “Christ, you’re fuckin’ tight. Strangling my goddamn fingers.”

He shifts slightly, spreading his knees to angle you impossibly wider. His other hand comes up, tugging at the hem of your shirt, pulling it up so his warm, rough palm could roam over your stomach. He was everywhere at once—teasing, stroking, claiming.

"Such a messy pussy," he drawls, his fingers speeding up inside you. "She’s gettin’ my hand all wet. You like when your old man touches you down here, darlin'?"

A loud moan tears its way out of your throat, your back arching off his chest as Joel sets a relentless pace. 

He’s right, you’re so fucking wet. The squelch of your pussy around his fingers makes your ears burn, shame mixed with arousal churning through your core at the filthy, wet sounds that fill the room. Your juices drench his palm, dripping down his wrist to trail along the skin of his forearm where it seeps into the fabric of his rolled up flannel sleeve.

Your cheeks warm at the idea of your essence staining his shirt, at the idea of Joel wanting that. Your claim on him as he patrols, as he helps Tommy finish patching up the cabin's roof, as he cleans his guns in the living room–a dirty secret only the two of you know about.

It has your whole body tensing, sparks shooting up your spine, lighting up each notch of vertebrae on its way to burst bright white through your brain. The spring inside of you coils tighter and tighter, threatening to snap any second.

‘’That’s it, baby,” Joel growls, his voice molten in your ear. “You gonna come for me? I can feel how she’s clenchin’ up, desperate thing.”

He pulls his fingers out suddenly, not even giving you any time to protest before he’s sliding them over the wet expanse of your pussy, from your clit down to your abused hole in quick succession.

Your body feels like it’s on fire, phantom flames licking at every inch of exposed skin. Your nails dig into Joel’s thighs even more fiercely than before as you feel the signs of your release building from deep within you.

Joel’s hand is a blur between your legs, slick fingers slipping over your swollen, puffy pussy fast enough to send your head reeling. His name falls from your lips in a breathless chant, and he chuckles against your skin, dark and smug.

The spray of your release around the flat of his fingers is sudden, a gush that washes over his hand and the couches upholstery. 

Your body trembles uncontrollably, your hips bucking against his hand as every nerve feels like it’s sparking to life. The pleasure floods through you, dizzying and relentless, blurring everything but the feeling of Joel’s touch.

Joel groans like he’s the one soaking the floor, his lips pressed to the crown of your skull. He doesn’t stop. His fingers never slow, circling and tweaking until your thighs finally clamp shut around his hand. The wetness of your orgasm coats his skin, slick and messy, and his growl of satisfaction is the only thing that pierces through the white noise rushing in your ears. 

It takes a few long moments for your breath to even out, for the aftershocks to stop rippling through your limbs. Joel finally takes pity on you, his touch gentling as he withdraws his fingers with care, his hand stroking your thigh in lazy circles.

“Look at that,” he murmurs, his tone brimming with pride as he lifts his slick-coated fingers into the firelight, letting the evidence of your pleasure glisten before his eyes. “So fuckin’ good for me.”

Your cheeks burn, a mix of exhaustion and lingering desire blooming across your skin as you slump against his chest, turning your head to meet his gaze. Joel’s eyes are dark, hungry, and so utterly possessive it makes your stomach flip.

Without breaking eye contact, he brings his fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean with a low hum of satisfaction.

“Sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted,” he says, his lips curling into a smirk. “Reckon I’ll need to have another bite soon.”

Your body trembles in response, knowing damn well he’ll make good on that promise before the night is over.

mini nat's note: idk i was in a mood...fill out my taglist if you want more joel content :)

[pulchrasanguine]

How I imagine ventrues greet each other

[caricatureblue]

Re-Re-Re-mapping Revachol

… and the Insulinde as a whole

Very much inspired by ssshiversss and Map Max, whose versions of the map were absolutely invaluable for wrapping my head around this project. Combining their work with the original map of Jamrock, and doing my best to stay loyal to the (often contradictory) descriptions in the text of the game, I think I’m happy with what I’ve ended up with.

Much like my predecessors, I have elected to separate Coal City and La Delta, and in fact ignore any attempt by the game to convince me that La Delta is west of Martinaise. It just… It just isn’t.

Game description struggles aside, this was really fun!! Details/Description in the alt text.

I just like maps

EDIT // L’Insulinde: Now with Pale encroachment

[drabblejester]

good day, mister jester :) I see youre taking request. sicne you yourself are a jester, might i ask how the archons would deal with having their own jester? (making silly jokes, harmless pranks etc) how they acquire said jester is up to you!

how the ARCHONS would treat you as their JESTER!

requested by: wonderful sillay anon!!

parings: all archons & jester!reader

content warnings: none!! just silliness

comments: take this as romantic(NOT FOR NAHIDA) or platonic idc HEEHEE!! this is a splendid ask thank u my liege <3 probably ooc

VENTI:

you’re jester’d by him after he found you on the street, while he was bumbling around drunk. thought you were funny, so he just tagged you along!!

and oooh he LOVES you!!! he writes so many songs for you to dance along to, happily singing and strumming his little lyre while you bust a move

if anything its the both of you that are the jesters… instead of you being in a ‘jester & god’ scenario, its more of a ‘jester & jester’ thing. you tell eachother jokes, sing with eachother, etc! and after yall have fun, you lay down in the grass together and snooze :3

ZHONGLI:

you’re jester’d by him after one of the millith recommend you to him, saying many good things about you and your antics!!! he meets you in person and it goes well!!

despite his strong and gentle demeanor, he will giggle and watch you happily. in fact, he actually HELPS you pull off pranks. ranging from replacing all of venti’s sugar with salt, painting on the hull of beidou’s ship, or snatching masks from fatuus, you’re having fun alongside him sometimes!!!

he treats you super well, lavishing you with yummy treats and delicious tea. he makes a little room for you somewhere in the inn, and always makes sure you’re happy and well taken care of.

RAIDEN:

you’re jester’d by her after miss sara almost puts you in jail. thankfully, your silly demeanor and joyous attitude captivated her. so you get to go free! as long as you can provide her some entertainment sometimes.

she actually doesn’t have you entertain her that often, just kinda keeps you around like a cool rock. more often, you’ll find yourself entertaining her guards and her loyal followers instead. which is still nice!

she’ll try her best to take care of you, but ultimately ends up just plopping you in the hands of the people she trusts. she isn’t too fond of your pranks but she loves your performances, so you’re equipped with props and costumes :3

NAHIDA:

you’re jester’d by her after you were grabbed by the scruff by a forest ranger, gently being ushered back into the city like a lost cat. which you might as well be! she saw you, you told her a few jokes and gave her some candy, and she got somewhat attached

she really likes your jokes!!! simple puns only, and the occasional riddle. a lot of the time, she’d actually be telling YOU riddles! sadly they’re very hard to figure out so good luck. you get to teach her about certain jokes but you have to explain the punchlines 50% of the time

life with her is very simple, she holds you as an equal (maybe even as a sibling figure?) unlike other archons like raiden or mavuika. you entertain her, and she entertains you! like a nice equal exchange of knowledge in the form of silly jokes.

FURINA:

you’re jester’d after being caught by the guardes for breaking some obscure law, probably related to a prank you pulled. you’re dragged into court (which breaks your silly heart…), furina sees you, and VERRYY dramatically calls for a halt. she runs away with you(and neuvillette on your tail).

she treats you like a secret, not in a weird way but in a.. whispers to you to go and check out the magazine selection and sends you off like her personal little scarab. it’s very obvious you two are hanging out because BOTH of you became 10x more dramatic, but she refuses everything.

your living situation is like roommates, despite her holding some power over you. neuvillette insisted that you get a separate apartment but you both complained enough to where you got to stay hanging out. you’re like best friends!! you eat sweets together, hang out, etc. she even teaches you some of her super secret acting techniques!!!

MAVUIKA:

you’re jester’d after you become hopelessly lost in natlan, miserably jingling across the floor, and winding up in a family of saurians. she finds you all sad and weeping and ue ue ue, and takes you in like a little baby birdie.

actually, you don’t do much entertaining with her! when you do, it’s usually her trying to train you to become strong. thankfully your little kicks and sad punches don’t do much to her. so to cheer you up, she lets you tell her riddles and stories and jokes. turns out she is a SUCKER for puns.

you get to hang out in natlan wherever you want, like tossing a bird in the air and letting it fly away for a bit. your best nap spot is in a very cramped little cave, all cozied up with one blanket to make the edges less sharp. surprisingly it’s very cozy! you can even curl up above on the rocks like a lizard!!!!

TSARITSA:

you’re jester’d by her after a few fatuus find you all sad and wet in the city, jingling about and being a general disturbance to the peace (as god intended). you’re dragged all the way to the palace, to get judged. you’re not put in as a harbinger but you get to be a fool one way or another!

speaking of harbingers, they either love you or hate you. the tsaritsa will always ensure your safety from the weirdness of dottore and the edginess of signora, but you can’t help but be a little upset by them. she’ll wipe your tears and allow you to dance around the palace to help you feel better :3

you get free reign over the palace whether the harbingers like it or not. curled up on lab tables, hunched under chairs, maybe stealing a fatuu grunt’s bed, etc. and they don’t get to say anything bad about you because you’re the tsaritsa’s special little jester! pierro is still upset that you stole his cool nickname though

eat up my liege… leave no crumbs either. i just swept the floor