#this post is trying to kill itself for some reason

[bad-system]

let's talk KCD3 — pt.3

disclaimer: this post is a continuation of my previous KCD3 posts on speculation of the events and lore that i'd like to see explored in the next installment(s) of the KCD story. and as per my last post; these are only speculations born of my own biased narrative and hopeful bastardizations of real events. this is not representative of ALL the real historical persons and events as there is either info missing on them, they were altered by WH for the sake of the game or i'm plain wrong. PS: i am not a historian. i just like history.

PART: 1 2 3 4 5

_____________________

in this post, i'd like to speculate on why hans capon/jan ptaček joins his pro-sigismund neighbour due to family relations. i know this could be explained in easier ways and that there are simpler theories but i wanted to engage (read: kill) my brain with data that was half missing, incorrect or there was no source i could find. if you do have a source that would help me correct this i would love it if you could share it with me. again; i'm not a historian.

so let's get to the point — Lacek of Kravař of Šternberk or Petr Konopišťský of Šternberk ?!

the biggest hiccup i've encountered during my research is none other than petr- or lacek- of šternberk...

in the wiki entry of jan ptaček it is noted that it was petr of šternberk among the leaders of the battle of vyšehrad. and according to wiki it is indeed that petr of šternberk, the pro-sigismund anti-hussite neighbour whom he had sided with.

however, hans' codex entry lists a different person as his anti-hussite neighbour- a lacek of kravař of šternberk + source. this lacek was both a king weceslaus supporter and a follower of jan hus, as per sources.

thus, i present to you a... mind map more than a genealogy chart that i made to help myself visualize the 2 possible events.*

(please refer to the legend before trying to comprehend the image.)

(*once again a big fat disclaimer... please do not use this as a reference or learning material. this chart takes artistic freedom into consideration like WH does with some characters.)

in the case #1, we take into account the wikipedia sources. in this case, petr konopišťský of šternberk, is indeed a poweful pro-sigismund neighour of jan ptaček. in this case, jan ptaček sides with petr due to obvious political reasons- his neighbour, even though he's a sigismund supporter and an anti-hussite, is simply more powerful than ptaček's estates. signing with the enemy to protect his people makes sense from a practical point of view rather than a moral one. his obligation is to protect his people. = CONFLICT

in the case #2, it gets a little more complicated. case #2 takes into consideration what is written in the games' codex itself- and makes the aforementioned 'close neighbour' one lacek of kravař of šternberk. why does this make it more complicated?

well.

if that was indeed the case, then jan ptaček and lacek had no political conflict. both jan and lacek were wenceslaus supporters, and lacek was also a vocal supporter of jan hus. so if there was no conflict between the lords- why was lacek mentioned?

i believe the conflict of interest could stem from lacek's wife- eliška of šternberk. while lacek's family wasn't anti-hussite itself, eliška's side of family was and if they were indeed the 'powerful neighbours' of ptaček's, i could see that being the source of internal conflict (within family) which could have swayed lacek (temporarily?). i haven't found proof of this (at least not online) and am skeptical they could improvise that so it remains as the theory i favour the least. or WH simply has the sources i do not.

then why did they put his name in the codex?

like i said; this data is inaccessible to me and WH have more trustworthy sources (which is the likely scenario) OR WH decided to improvise and take creative liberties with this historical figure.

remains to be seen!

but it was definitely fun to think about the potential reasons.

[coraniaid]

It would have been very easy for the writers of The Gift to frame Giles's decision to kill Ben as something other than what it is.

Ben could have tried to attack Giles first, in order to escape, forcing Giles to defend himself (we know that Buffy herself has, by this point in the show, almost certainly taken several human lives in self-defence, whether that's one of the Order of Taraka assassins in What's My Line? or Gwendolyn Post in Revelations or some of the Knights of Byzantium earlier in the season). We, the audience, know that Ben has actually made the choice to side with Glory and betray Dawn -- the writers could have had Giles find this out somehow, rather than having him kill Ben while believing Ben to be entirely blameless for anything Glory did. If nothing else, they could have had Giles kill Ben in a less sordid and realistic way: choking him to death after establishing that he can barely move while Ben struggles feebly to stay alive.

But, notably, the writers didn't do this. At every stage they made the choice to frame Ben's death as unsympathetically as they could. They make it very clear that they don't think Ben's death is something to approve of at all. Just in The Gift itself:

Xander brings up the possibility of killing Ben to stop Glory ("I know he's an innocent, but not like Dawn innocent ... we could kill a regular guy") only to immediately rule it out with a look of disgust. Why say this if not to comment on what Giles will later do?

Willow explicitly notes that the ritual to use the Key is "a one time thing": if Glory doesn't manage to kill Dawn this time, she's got no reason to try again. Why say this if you want Giles's later decision to seem justified?

The scenes with Dawn and Glory suggest that the separation between Glory and Ben is weakening, meaning that Glory herself is becoming more human and more affected by human emotions like guilt and empathy. Why include these scenes if we're meant to see Glory as an active, long-term danger?

Tara prophetically accuses Giles of being "a killer", a word we've heard before on the show (see, for example, the way Faith reacted to being called a killer by Forrest in Who Are You?, or indeed Buffy's own fears that "the Slayer is just a killer" as expressed this episode). Why use this word, or include this moment at all, if we're meant to be cheering Giles on?

Giles himself gives Ben a speech in which he admits that Buffy would never kill Ben because it's not the heroic thing to do. Like ... this isn't exactly subtle.

We are not meant to approve of Giles murdering Ben; and we are meant to see it as murder. The writers go out of their way to tell us that it's morally wrong, that none of the other Scoobies would support it, and it doesn't even work to achieve Giles's stated goal of keeping Buffy safe: she dies anyway, mere minutes after the murder. By every measure, the show tells us, this is the wrong thing to do. Giles will never bring it up again, not even when he's trying to convince Buffy that she needs him to make hard decisions on her behalf.

So it's kind of infuriating that so much of the fandom insists on reading it as an act of heroism anyway.

It isn't. It isn't at all. If anybody other than one of the protagonists was making this decision -- if it was the Knights trying to kill Dawn to save the world, or the Initiative locking up Oz and treating him like an animal because a few nights a month he turned into a dangerous monster, or the parents of Sunnydale trying to burn teenage witches at the stake to keep their town safe -- there would be no ambiguity about this in the fandom at all. And yet, because it is one of the protagonists -- specifically, because it's the character the fandom has decided to read as Buffy's Dad who only does good things because he loves her -- somehow the normal rules don't apply.

It's not an act of heroism though. The show is right about that, and the fandom is wrong. It's one of the worst things Giles does; a complete betrayal of his promise to Buffy in Season 2 to always offer her his support and respect. It has far more in common with his willingness to drug her and lie to her face about doing so in Helpless or to abandon her in her moment of greatest need in Tabula Rasa than it does with any of Giles (many) moments of actual nobility and self-sacrifice. It's a sign that, fundamentally, Giles does not accept that Buffy has right to make decisions on her own.

Giles knows that, given the choice, Buffy would choose to spare Ben's life. He doesn't believe he could ever convince her to change her mind. And so he takes the choice away from her.

Why would anyone applaud that?

[gatorbites-imagines]

Gator, I think cyborg Mark is really interesting, specifically his cyborg parts, and I have so many little questions to fire at you. :')

1. Does cyborg Mark fix himself? // Like, does he have the tech to fix himself if his limbs get broken or anything, or is there a specific guy who does that for him like Art or Robot (for example) or some1 like that.

> 1.1 And if so, does he allow others to tinker with/on him that either aren't him fixing himself/isn't the designated fixer person or character?

> 1.2 Also would he be sensitive to that, like having his "insides" tampered with, would he have any sensation in those circuits to know what's being prodded and so on inside like his arm, leg, etc lol? I think you mentioned something about his bits being able to be switched around, so I think there could be some sensations he feels at least around his groin area if I'm not mistaken?/. (Feel free to correct)

2. Also does his personality diverge from Canon Mark much, what's it like (the personality)? We know he's a bit insecure about his looks :3 <- cannot remember anything else anymore due to shit for memory.

> 2.1 Does he have any pet peeves?

Feel free to ignore if needed, you don't need to answer everything:3 /gen

Hi anon :3

I've honestly been so hyped and shocked positively that people like my au stuff, since I've never really shared it before and been kinda embarrassed about it, here I go >:3

Cyborg Mark Grayson answers under the cut 🗣️

1. Yes, Cyborg Mark fixes himself if the damage is bad enough. I've explained in another post that he's made out of alloys/metals and nanobots that fix itself with time, like normal wounds just much faster. This also means his robotic body actually grows stronger with time like other Marks, so he's not left behind in that department. For plot reasons, if I were to write fanfic, then the reader would be the one to repair bigger problems or give upgrades, as well as teaching mark how to do the repairs himself.

He doesn't trust Robot, the GDA, the government, or really anybody. There are times where he has to rely on them, but it's clear he doesn't trust them like normal mark does.

1.1 I think he'd allow his lover to tinker with parts, but mainly his hands or like, arms or smth. Something he can easily fix himself, and only if they're truly in a safe situation where he wouldn't need to fight and have to recalibrate his limbs again. He'd also allow his insides to be 'tinkered' in the bedroom.

1.2 his insides are sensitive kinda like nerves, but he can dull it for battle reasons. One of the things he can do that other makes can't is wire play. Meaning that the reader can mess with some of his wires in his back and make him orgasm that way.

After losing the fight with Nolan, Mark didn't even really have genitals since he doesnt exclude waste the same way anymore. But after getting a boyfriend, he looks into ways to get that part of himself back after he feels like he deserves to be happy and enjoy things again. Even better if the reader is smart and helps make them, then they can try them out together.

2. Cyborg Mark is more jaded than canon Mark, he's more like season 3 Mark from the very beginning. He doesn't just kill anybody, but he also knows that sometimes it's a necessary evil. He's always ashamed of killing, but he doesn't actually feel regret or anything about it. This only adds to his constant fear that he's like his dad or that he's becoming some kind of monster.

He will also dissociate in a way when fighting people stronger than him or similar in strength. Blame it on trauma from fighting Nolan, but Mark just recedes into the back of his head and lets instincts and robotics do all the work.

2.1 I think a pet peeve is getting sand in his crevices. Or that the guardians would want him to join them. They'd be more insistent on this universe, as of course robot and the GDA wants in on his tech, but also because he's not actually friends with them.

He can work alongside them, but he doesn't have a friendship with for example Rex or Eve, since they never had time to get close before he was pulverized by his dad and had to learn to live again.

He also doesn't like when people worry too much about him, like his mom, or William who dropped out of college to help mark learn to live again, like walking, motor functions, etc. it's not that he doesn't appreciate it, he just doesn't feel he deserves it and that he robbed the people he cares for of a lot of things. So he has moments where he gets angry, but he always catches himself and feels even worse cuz he thinks he's like his dad.

So yeah, horrible daddy issues too.

[bfish]

Hi! Idk why I’m telling you this here, when I could just as well comment on ao3 (which I did, do, already). But this feels more important, and I just wanted to convey so bad how much A Man Passing Between Two Bombs Told Me touched me.

I’m not a sad person (and I hope you’re not, but if you are I hope you’re not alone). I don’t usually cry over books or whatever some such. But that story. It ripped something in me, or showed me a hole in my heart I never knew existed. It wasn’t painful so much as beautiful in its absence. Like staring in the galaxy, the abyss and crying — not because it’s sad but because it’s empty and infinite.

Like… reading this (once, twice, three times) made me cry. Every time. And I smiled, I was smiling that small, secret, inescapable smile you make when you don’t know how else to react but can’t stop the tears from flowing.

I think it was beautiful. In its prose, in its composition, in its characters… it will haunt me, like the ghost of an old love you can’t even regret because every single instant was worth the pain.

(… if I am to ask a question — I have no idea what kind of etiquette tumblr demands, nor how to interact with strangers on the internet, I am, for the most part, a lurker — will you be my friend?)

hi !!!!!!!!!!! sorry this is a month late .

ive actually been thinking about your ask every day but ive been so busy and losing my mind and only online for five minutes daily and i forgot to get back to you .thank you for taking the time to read the fic, comment and write to me !!! im happy you liked it, that means a lot to me :') unfortunately for all involved i am very sad and very alone .this fic was really personal, mostly because i dont know how to write things that i havent been through/have not happened to me, but also because the entire document was literally me writing whenever i needed to say things and had no one to talk to, which is very miserable and sad to think about but in a funny type of way (to me at least) .im trying to talk to people now . or at least leave my house. it's sort of working, i think. i just want to say that i am glad it made you feel something . thats important to me when i make art so ! i appreciate you writing to me about it . sorry for making you cry. but its kind of like hmmmm we are sitting together so its okay to cry. its kind of like that ←saying nonsense but also meaning it . again, i'm really glad you liked it. i wrote it over ten months, because half the time i was staring at the doc and not actually writing it, and i wasnt going to share it because my target audience is always me and i was like who else would want to read about heart failure funtimes, so i continue to be surpised whenever someones like hey ! this fic. like ohhh yeah hi .i like mu qing and i like making him cry and i like oversharing in fic form on the internet . all normal stuff .sorry this is incoherent i havent slept properly in about two months (uni, u know how it is) but ! if you dont mind my very, very . very slow replies ! please feel free to dm me anytime :) i'd love to talk !

[unweavinglies]

I’d like to ask a question about Kokichi’s character in Chapter 4, specifically with him seeing the “Truth of the outside world.” Yes, it was a big shift in his character to suddenly want killing, but I’m not entirely convinced that it was because of him losing his mind from seeing the outside world. I think at least some of it was a facade to make others think of him as a bad guy/the mastermind; to make his Chapter 5 character more believable so his plan would work. What do you think?

Well, I'm not here to convince you one way or another.

My theories and personal interpretations are just that--personal interpretations and theories. The narrative is web of interpretations and I only hold a single thread of it.

To me, personally, I think Kokichi's behavioral shift is far too drastic, going from "I'm going to beat this killing game" to "I'm going to become a blackened and kill someone", to plotting with Gonta to mercy kill the whole class. I think this jump has only one true source--the madness of seeing the end of the world you and your fellow classmates have been killing each other over.

I know it's a difficult feeling to imagine--but that's probably why you think differently than me. I cannot fathom what it's like to see the end of the world--and how I personally would react to that, aside from pure devastation. I don't think any human being can truly comprehend what "the end of the world" would look or feel like--which is why the concept often appears in horror plots and the sort. I don't think our brains can truly comprehend becoming an endangered species, the world we knew to be suddenly inhabitable, to be on the brink of death and demise and know that everything you once loved has already left you behind.

So I ask you this as my answer: Do you really think that any human being on this earth could handle the end of the world?

My answer to my own question is: No. I don't think any human could mentally handle seeing what Kokichi saw--and that's why I don't think his "I am the Mastermind" plot is the cause of his personality shift during chapter 4.

It just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm sorry if this comes off as curt or rude--but the amount of asks I've gotten specifically about Chapter 4, and about my Mercy Kill Theory, with the sentiment of "Oh your theory must be incorrect, somehow", is far too grating on me. Never the mind asks that go and try to find loop holes to prove the theory wrong, but I digress--that is neither here nor there.

[jackass-jones]

Yeah the mouthwash game is pretty good

[watery-melon-baller]

average adobe experience

[goquokka00]

SKZ vs Shark Week (Minho ver.)

How would each member of Stray Kids handle you while you're on your period?

BANGCHAN | MINHO | CHANGBIN | HYUNJIN JISUNG | FELIX | SEUNGMIN | JEONGIN

WARNING: This is a female reader going through their period. If the topic of a period/anything that has to do with a period makes you uncomfortable, then don't read it. Just remember that there's nothing wrong with a woman's period. It's a perfectly healthy body function :)

THE MOODS When your period is close to arriving, it's very safe to say that you become an absolute nightmare. Even Minho thinks so. Your mood swings are seriously no joke, and so when you woke up crying only to yell at Minho for no reason, Minho knew that your period was close. Oh, joy.

The issue with this is that one itty bitty slip up from Minho would just send wave after wave of emotion, and Minho barely had time to recover before the next switch. If he accidentally brushes his hand against your chest, it's game over. He's getting chewed out about how he's always trying to have sex, and then the next minute your in tears because you feel bad about yelling at him.

So, how does Minho help you? He can't. There's no saving you. All he can do is just take blow after blow, apologize for something that really wasn't a big deal, listen, and comfort you. Carefully. He knew it wasn't you and it was just hormones. He could just pick at you after your period was done.

THE BLOOD God, you think your mood swings are bad? Your flow is worse. You only bleed for 3 days, but holy hell, you bled and you bled HARD. A lot of times, you were on the toilet for the majority of the day because your flow was so bad. And when you weren't, you had to wear a heavy duty pad and a heavy duty tampon. Fucking sucks.

Minho, understanding this, usually does his best to support you. Sometimes, if you're in the bathroom on the toilet just to let blood drain, he'll come in and play games with you. If you don't want him in the bathroom, you and him will do local play video games so you aren't completely alone. And if you're walking around, he'll set up small dates for you both to do at home since you'd rather die than go out in public when your uterus is ripping itself to shreds and making a tidal wave of blood.

THE PAIN Thankfully, you don't deal with too much pain. God decided to have some mercy. Key word? Some. While you didn't deal with pain, you did deal with constipation, bloating, and extreme nausea. It...it was bad.

So what does Minho do? First, he makes sure you're drinking enough. He'll also make sure you eat at least something. He knows that you genuinely don't feel good and are really queasy until your period eases it's choke hold on you, and so he doesn't force you to eat a bunch. But he'll still give you some rice and eggs or foods that'll stick in you instead of making you feel like throwing up.

And once your nausea and bloating is gone, he'll make you whatever you're craving, making sure that the food will also help your intestines loosen up so you aren't uncomfortable when you sit down or move around.

THE PRODUCT There's not a whole lot that Minho can do for you on your period. It kills him every single time, and so he'll always help wherever he can. And if that means running to the store to get you what you need? He's on it.

He knows exactly what you prefer and use, and so he will make sure to buy a lot of it since you go through it quickly. There's zero complaining, zero whining, zero teasing. He's doing whatever he can so you suffer less.

And of course, he's getting anything else that you ask for as well. You want a coffee from a place that's 30 minutes away? Bet, he'll happily go and get it for you. You want croissants? He'll make them from scratch. You want Felix's brownies? Well, Felix is coming over to bake them right here for you. Simple as that.

Hey! Firstly, thank you so much for reading this post, and I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, please like, reblog, or comment so I can see how I'm doing with writing and getting feedback! I hope you have a lovely day! Sleep well, stay in good health, and eat something if you haven't! ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @miss-daisy04 @kayleefriedchicken @wolfs-archive @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @wolfs-howling @rose-w-00-d

[blackpilljesus]

I saw this from the female separatism subreddit & the responses are some of the biggest reasons for separatism et al (or extinction if I'm being candid here). Moids cant be reformed they are fully aware of the hell they force women to live in. MaIe achievement & happiness is rooted in female exploitation & life. Their glory days are based on our horrific days. No amount of love, kindness or facts will change maIes and we cannot happily or even neutrally coexist with them.

Main points across answers:

Many want to experiment but not permanently be women

They dont want to be in constant danger or lose their autonomy at the hands of maIes for merely existing

They dont want to deal with childbirth (& periods)

They dont want to have to share spaces with species much stronger than them with ulterior motives

It makes me go crazy seeing people give moids benefit of doubt for their evil like "maIes just dont understand", "we need to teach maIes", or claiming that maIe violence is a result of maIes struggling with (expressing) their feelings. I get that women love maIes and it can be hard to imagine that people can intentionally be so evil but it is what it is. MaIes have no problems expressing themselves, abusing women is what maIes choose to do because they enjoy & benefit from it - that is their expression.

MaIes see the same news of women being abused, raped, and killed like we do except rather than be disheartened or alarmed they're either apathetic or satisfied. It isn't aliens that's committing GBV it's maIes & maIes have no problem reminding women of this when women anger them (such as rape threats & threatening women they'll end up on the news/true crime). The victim blaming, denial, and derailment of misogyny is part of the game to keep the system alive, they know the events occured & are a systemic occurence they just dont care. Hell not only do they not care, they rejoice in it or get off on it.

MaIes set up environments that work in their favour which simultaneously ensures that women will lose. They know women are set up to live in damn near impossible conditions for us. It's normalised for women to defenselessly share personal & private spaces with beings much more stronger than them with ulterior motives for us, it's trap. It's interesting how these moids aren't saying that they'll just cover up and *poof* harrassment gone, or they'll just pick a nice guy & they'll be okay. MaIes know the net negative they are towards women.

MaIes know that childbirth is a painful process & what do they do? Demand it happens and make it even MORE painful for women. MaIes that impregnate women do not love or care for them. Pregnancy itself is dangerous & sometimes lethal, often comes with a range of health issues, to cause someone to be in that condition especially in a environment where abortions are illegal is reckless & unloving. Now imagine how sinister & full of hatred one has to be to impregnate someone and abuse them on top of that. Many women risk their health & lives to reproduce with a Y and they get abused by said Y instead of being taken care of. Deranged.

Realising that maIes are aware of the evil they inflict is one of the things that radicalised me. It isn't a miscommunication or ignorance issue, their violence is intended. They want control. The cruelty is the point. Instead of wasting time & energy trying to change maIes or hope that they "understand" one day, focus on yourself & other women (who prioritise women). Moids aren't oblivious to female pain they enjoy it. A lot of women treat maIe evil like it's a mistake on maIes part but it's calculated terrorism. I know that this will go over many womens heads as they refuse to hold strong negative sentiments about moids as a collective so if you're not a woman like that, take this post as a sanity check. You aren't crazy, it isn't all in your head.

[avelera]

(Arcane Meta) The Hexcore was already controlling Viktor in S1

As a follow-up to my post about how the Hexcore's control over Viktor in S2 is probably best compared to the One Ring from Lord of the Rings, in that it magically amplifies desires but to what extent its manipulations could be confused with free will is very hard to determine, I wanted to offer this piece of comparison to Lord of the Rings as further evidence that Viktor is under some level of control from the Hexcore as early as S1.

I was fortunate enough to take a course on Tolkien's works in college and there's one point our professor made that stuck with me. He pointed out that Frodo was always doomed to fail at casting the One Ring into Mt. Doom because he was already unable to do so back at Bag End, before he'd even spent significant time with the Ring.

It's less apparent in the show than in the book, so here's the quote,

"To Frodo's astonishment and distress the wizard threw it suddenly into the middle of a glowing corner of the fire. Frodo gave a cry and groped for the tongs; but Gandalf held him back."

Though his time with the Ring has only barely just begun, already Frodo is distressed at the thought of harm coming to the Ring and is trying to save it, before he even stepped out his door. How then was he ever supposed to throw it into the fire of Mt. Doom after having spent months in close proximity to it?

Well, this moment reminds me rather strikingly of this one:

This is only S1, the corruption of the Hexcore has only spread to Viktor's hands and leg, but it has also just killed Sky right in front of Viktor. He has been weeping on the ground, mourning her when he then resolves to destroy it and rises up, brandishing the stool.

Unlike Frodo, who had no idea what the Ring was at that point and still was distressed by the idea of harm coming to it, Viktor just saw the Hexcore kill someone right in front of him. And yet, like Frodo, he can't bring himself to harm it.

The Hexcore then actually physically shies away from the stool, which is where I get the notion at least that it is sentient, and then because Viktor had the audacity to raise a hand to it and fail to follow through, it knocks him out like a light:

This is why Viktor has to beg Jayce to destroy the Hexcore, and even there he can barely get the words out, and he only makes this request while far away from the lab and the Hexcore.

I would argue that the reason he doesn't explain more to Jayce there is because he might even be unable to, even asking that much might have been a strain. Or, I'll admit, perhaps there's any number of human reasons he didn't, like shame and fear.

Shame and fear that is of course gone by the time the Hexcore has consumed him when he finally tells Jayce what happened to Sky.

I would argue that the look of hopelessness and disappointment on Viktor's face when he decides to leave Jayce isn't because of the weapons blueprints he might have spotted on the lab table. Or at least, it's not only that.

Personally, I see that as Viktor knowing that he was now so physically consumed by the Hexcore he had no hope at all of fighting it anymore. To quote Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, "I knew myself, at the first breath of this new life, to be more wicked, tenfold more wicked, sold a slave to my original evil..."

So when people ask why Viktor is suddenly going along with everything the Hexcore wants, when before he wanted to destroy it, I would argue this: because it was already infecting him in S1 and in S1 he realized this and begged Jayce to destroy it because he knew it could stop him from doing so already. But because he was unwilling, or unable, to tell Jayce more about why he wanted it destroyed, Jayce instead defied his very strange request and used it to save Viktor's life as they had originally planned.

From that point on, I would argue, Viktor is under the thrall of the Hexcore and is carrying out its virus-like desire to spread itself and grow. I mean, just look at him, it now has consumed nearly every part of his body except his face. By the end, it has taken that from him as well.

Viktor might still have his own intelligence on top of it, but how much is very much the topic of ongoing debate. For the man to say that there is always a choice to suddenly say that there is no choice, the man who tried to destroy the Hexcore now freely spreading its power, and who once lashed out at the very notion of the use of Hextech as weapons making his own army of apex Hextech robots and using the Hexclaw against Jayce, and who looks so horrified at what he has done once the Hexcore's shell has been broken off of him by Ekko's bomb and Jayce's revelations, I would argue that we should assume at least some level of control was overpowering Viktor for much of S2, and that is exactly the fate he was trying to avoid in S1.

[zorostitties]

Aurora, 4 (m)

⤕ Your existence had been an endless night, where shadows whispered long forgotten secrets. Trapped in a golden cage, your fragile mind and shattered memories were chains that kept you from dreaming of freedom. Then, he appeared with the first light of dawn, like a gentle sun warming your cold skin. In his gaze, the promise of a new beginning; in his presence, the sunrise your soul had longed for.

In which Alucard saves you from Erzsebet.

pairing: alucard (castlevania) x (f) reader

genre: angst, romance, slow burn, eventual smut

warnings: violence/blood, explicit language, mental health issues, grief, physical abuse.

rating: 18+

word count: 6k

A/N: God!!! I can't believe I finished this chapter so fast!!!! I really wanted to post it before monday. Hope this makes your sunday night a bit less depressing!! Thank you for all the comments past chapter 💞💞 they really motivate me to keep writing! Without further ado, please enjoy <3

⤕  Chapters: check masterlist in bio!  ⤕ Also on AO3

Dracula.

Your reflection on the lake’s surface was distorted – the perfect materialization of your troubled mind.

Dracula.

An acrid taste had been in your tongue for the past hours, making you wonder if you’d actually picked a poisonous mushroom by mistake. No… that probably wasn’t the reason. Your back was as straight as iron, your hands politely over your knees, as you strongly avoided even glancing at the half vampire in front of you while he and Richter rowed the boat.

Dracula was considered by many the Vampire King for a long time. He was extremely powerful.

Richter’s words had been replaying in your head nonstop. You thought about that entire conversation again, and again, and again, trying to put your finger on what exactly triggered that… memory. If you could call it a memory, that is.

It was more of a feeling.

Dracula.

The mention of that name made a shiver run down your spine. Made your reflexes sharpen as if, suddenly, you were in the presence of a hungry wolf ready to launch at you. Not a face awakened in your mind – but a sense of danger that, somehow, felt extremely familiar. As if “Dracula” wasn’t the name of a man, but of a natural disaster, like an erupting volcano.

Where have you heard of that name before?

Perhaps Erzsebet or Drolta had mentioned it around you? After all, Richter said he used to be the Vampire King, and Erzsebet considered herself the Vampire Queen – goddess –; it might’ve made sense for her to talk about him at some point. But why did that name evoked such fear in your gut? Richter also said that this Dracula had been killed hundreds of years ago. You couldn’t have actually met him. Although your sense of time was distorted, there’s no way you’d been alive for that long. You were not a vampire.

And yet… you healed like one.

The more you thought about it, the larger the question mark grew in your thoughts.

Why did you heal?

It wasn’t exactly an ability – you hadn’t learned it, your body just did it. You had no control over it. If you had, you wouldn’t have bothered staying alive for so long under Erzebet’s imprisonment. It was more of a… condition. No matter to what extremes Drolta went with her punishments or Erzsebet’s with her hobby of hurting you when she was bored, your body always mended itself back together.

In fact…

It was more than just “mending” itself back together. It could regrow if necessary.

Vampires could heal from injuries that were fatal for humans. But you’d seen vampires die a lot, too – by Erzsebet’s hands, by Alucard’s hands, by Richter and Annette’s hands. You’d never seen a vampire regrow entire limbs if they were cut using magic or sanctified weapons.

You didn’t heal like a vampire, as Alucard stated back then.

You healed better than one.

It was a bit baffling on your part to have never questioned this condition of yours. Now that you were experiencing the real world, you understood just how truly odd you were. This thing couldn’t be normal and you had no idea why. You were beginning to hate this word – why, why, why. Your existence was surrounded by whys, but your stupid head couldn’t say no becauses, it could only bring forward more whys–

Annette woke up with a loud gasp that made you gasp and flinch away from her.

The girl had been sleeping for the past hour, laying in front of you in a position that couldn’t be comfortable. She jumped to a sitting position, aiming her blade to… nothing, in such a sudden move that yanked you out of your own head and made the two man stop rowing the boat.

She was trembling. The three of you stared at her in shock for some seconds.

“...Annette,” Richter said quietly, as if afraid to scare her. “It’s okay. It was just a dream.”

The girl in yellow didn’t look at him, though, keeping her scared sight glued ahead.

“Are those dreams, too?”

Finally, you looked at where she was pointing with her blade.

It took a while to understand what was between the trees under the moonlight. You narrowed your eyes… and when you understood what you were seeing, you couldn’t help but gasp.

Corpses.

Countless corpses hanging from the trees on the river bank.

“This is Erzsebet’s doing,” Alucard said in a somber tone.

“But we’re miles from Machecoul,” Richter was in disbelief.

Alucard closed his eyes for a moment – a subtle and solemn act of respect, perhaps. “She has followers. Everywhere.”

But then, the wind brought voices to your ears. Groans. Screams. Cries.

There were still people there.

And yet – Alucard would go on to say the thing that would shock you the most.

“Keep rowing.”

The three of you looked at him in disbelief.

That’s… not what you were expecting of him. At all.

Perhaps the fact that, up until now, Alucard had been kind to you in ways that no other person ever were made you get a wrong image of him. A… softer image. You thought he wouldn’t refuse help to anyone, ever. You… didn’t expect his heart could be cold like that.

“Are you just going to leave them behind?” You blurted out before you could control yourself – and immediately regretted it.

Alucard didn’t look exactly angry; his face had the nonchalant expression you were getting used to. Yet, the way he slightly furrowed his brows made you shiver. I should’ve stayed shut, you reprimanded yourself. What right do I have to ask him to put himself in danger for anyone when I myself am pretty useless? What if Alucard gets angry at me? What if he starts hating me from now on?

“We don’t have time for distractions,” he replied, still rowing, still in that same controlled voice.

“But there are people in that village,” Annette argued. She looked angry at Alucard. “They’ll get killed if we don’t help them!” Richter looked from her to the hung bodies back to the vampire, not moving his oar.

“They’re right. We can’t just pass them by,” the blue eyed boy agreed.

The furrow in Alucard’s face deepened.

“If we rush to rescue every distressed villager, Erzsebet will rule the whole country before we have half a chance to stop her.” For the first time, Alucard’s tone showed a bit of emotion – annoyance. But the Belmont started to row towards the margin anyway. “Richter.”

If the white-haired vampire called you using that warning tone, you would’ve stopped whatever you were doing. But Richter wasn’t scared like you. He didn’t care about Alucard’s reprimand and instead kept rowing. Alucard could’ve stopped him, could’ve argued more – but, surprising you once again, he just let out a tired sigh.

Annette and Richter got out of the boat in a jump before it even touched the margin, not caring to wet their boots, and ran into the forest.

You were frozen. Heavens, what have you started? Well, you couldn’t assume that the other two wouldn’t act even if you stayed shut, but you were the first to speak up anyway. What if Alucard was angry at you? You wouldn’t be helpful anyway, so why did you even open your mouth?

Being alone with him for those brief seconds was like torture. You avoided his gaze, already feeling sweat forming on your temples, waiting for some sort of punishment.

But Alucard let out another tired sigh.

When he got up, you had no choice but to look at him. Indeed, he didn’t look angry. Just tired.

“Let’s get this over with, then.” He murmured more to himself than to you.

It was so quick that your brain didn’t properly register what was happening.

His arm got around your waist, forcing you to get up in a firm grip, gluing your back on his torso as if you didn’t weigh more than a watermelon. Then, you saw a red glow spread from his body to yours–

And you didn’t see anything anymore.

For a split second, you thought you got blind.

No, it wasn’t that–

Alucard was moving so fast that your eyes couldn’t distinguish what the hell they were seeing.

Everything became a blur. You heard the shuffle of leaves, wind howling on your ears– and then, you weren’t on the boat anymore, but deep within the forest – surrounded by vampires.

Your stomach dropped. The world spun around. Alucard carried you under his arm like someone carries a dog, your feet weren’t even touching the ground anymore.

The vampires looked as shocked as you, at least.

All of them launched at Alucard at the same moment he unsheathed his long sword.

Instinctively, you covered your head with your hands (as if it’d do much) while the white-haired vampire swung his sword around – and then everything became an incomprehensible cacophony of steel against steel, flesh being slashed and pierced, groans of effort and pain. Alucard was ridiculously superior to any of them; they were less of a threat than the guards at Erzebet’s chateau.

When the clearing had nothing but mutilated corpses, he did that thing again – red glow, wind swooshing, vision getting dark – and rushed to another clearing after a new group of vampires. You felt the taste of mushrooms on your tongue, but forced yourself to swallow it back, covering your mouth with both hands.

This is how a potato sack must feel, a stupid voice whispered in your head. You tried to focus your sight on anything, but Alucard moved so fast that it was impossible; sometimes he made his long cape fall over your body to confuse any attacks aimed at you, making it even more impossible to understand what was happening.

Two last enemies remained. One of them was running away. Alucard let go of his sword and the weapon flew on a beeline towards him; it impaled the vampire on a tree.

The other enemy launched itself at you, screaming in a last desperate attempt. Alucard raised you up with a single arm to get you out of danger’s line, his hand on your back as if you were quite literally a tray, and kicked the vampire on the stomach with such force that you were sure that you heard his spine breaking apart; the man shocked against one, two, three trees, destroying them on his way, before Alucard’s obedient flying sword landed the finishing blow.

And you were alone.

Only then Alucard put you on the floor.

“I think that was all,” he said – once again to himself, not to you – and held his sword. He didn’t show a sign of fatigue or… anything. Not even his hair was disheveled, as if it was magical like his sword and each strand could simply go back to its place. “Let’s see if the others finished–“

He interrupted himself when he saw your position – bent over, one hand on your stomach and the other covering your mouth.

“...Are you oka–“ He was about to ask – showing the most emotion up until then – but you lifted your finger at him.

“J-Just give me a–“ don’t vomit don’t vomit don’t vomit don’t vomit– “A second. Please.”

Surprisingly, Alucard obeyed.

You breathed slowly, in and out, focusing every fiber of your being into not throwing up. We don’t have time for that, you repeated like a mantra. When you felt the nausea fading away, you straightened your back and brushed the dust off your skirt, turning to him.

“Please, the next time you do that,” you said in a weak, breathless voice, as if you were the one relentlessly fighting vampires a second ago, “I’d like to know first.”

Alucard looked speechless at first, then you saw the ghost of a smile on his lips – oh, of course he finds my state quite funny, as if it wasn’t humiliating enough. He opened his mouth to say something–

A sharp pain on the left side of your face.

You stumbled back in pure shock.

You hadn’t noticed the trap in front of you – a deep hole on the ground covered by a carpet of leaves, some sort of trap for wolves, perhaps. From said hole, a vampire jumped up, launching himself in the air, his nails sharper than any knife and now covered with your blood.

The world moved in slow motion for maybe three seconds. You saw the man’s devious smile – he was probably so proud of himself for fooling both of you; his hiss made your skin crawl. You were his target. His landing trajectory was you, and his nails were once again ready to hurt you.

He never had the time.

The world was still moving in slow motion when Alucard sliced him in half. You watched in grotesque precision as the sharp blade cut through the skin of his stomach, his flesh, his guts, his spine. The cocky smile never faded away. The vampire didn’t even have time to realize he was dying.

Everything went back to its normal speed. You didn’t want to look at the body hitting the ground.

You stumbled two more steps back, instinctively touching your left cheek with your fingertips and wincing in pain. Hell. These weren’t just cuts – felt more like gashes. You realized that you couldn’t open your left eye anymore. Blood dripped down your face.

Wounds like that weren’t anything out of the ordinary. They hurt, yes – but you felt, at most, annoyed. How did you let yourself get hurt like that, even after all of Alucard’s efforts in keeping you safe?

And yet – your mind was silenced when you felt the gentle touch of a gloved hand.

With his left hand, Alucard lifted your chin; with his right hand and the utmost care, he pressed a handkerchief over your wounds.

“This looks bad.” His quiet, husky voice dripped with worry. His forehead was tense, his jaw was tightened. He made you turn your head slightly to get a better vision of the gashes before pressing the soft fabric over them once again. With the corner of your good eye, you noticed that he hadn’t sheathed the sword back in; now it floated near your body like a watchdog.

Maybe it was the embarrassment of getting hurt in front of him, or the fact that he was standing so close and holding your face with such care, or his unwavering gaze – or it was a mix of everything that made heat creep from your neck to your cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve been more careful.” You held your breath; his tone was still quiet and gentle, yet you noticed the hint of anger in his voice; such anger wasn’t directed at you, however.

You couldn’t process that situation very well.

Alucard said I’m sorry. Not many people had said I’m sorry to you, as far as you remembered. And he sounded sorry.

You pressed your lips together. Why was he even sorry? Didn’t he already know that no injury was serious enough to you?

“It’s okay, Alucard,” you said sheepishly. If you had the courage, you’d have rested your hand over his wrist, but you gripped the fabric of the skirt instead. “I’ll heal.” And fast, as you already felt the familiar tingling sensation spread around the entire left side of your face.

“I know,” was all he said. He kept patting your wounds slowly, absorbing the blood with the handkerchief.

You didn’t know how much longer you could hold his piercing gaze. You gulped. “I-I guess the bleeding already stopped,” you stuttered, desperate for him to step back – and not because you didn’t like his touch, but because it was too overwhelming and you didn’t know how to physically deal with it.

Alucard distanced the fabric from your face. He hummed, analyzing the gashes once again, coming to the conclusion that the bleeding had stopped indeed. However, instead of distancing himself or letting go of your chin, he turned the handkerchief to the side that still wasn’t soaked; you held your breath when you felt his hand press on your jaw, on your chin, then on your neck – cleaning the blood that had dripped.

That heat spread to every corner of your body. You felt about to explode.

Only after he finished did he step away – not before making you still hold the handkerchief over your left cheek.

He looked so, so sorry.

It was the first time Alucard showed an expression that wasn’t subtle.

And for some reason, it made it hard to breathe.

You won’t get hurt, he told you back at the chateau. I mean it, he reinforced in the woods.

Oh… you got it.

Alucard probably felt like he broke his promise to you – even though that wasn’t exactly a promise.

“It’ll be healed in no time,” you repeated, hating how high pitched your voice sounded. You wanted him to stop worrying so much at that moment; you needed to avert his attention elsewhere. “We… we should go after the others.”

The white-haired vampire still hesitated, his gaze lingering on you for a while longer before nodding. “Let’s go.” When he said this, you almost sighed in relief.

He walked very close to you this time, his hand behind your back without exactly touching, acting more as a guide. The long sword still floated closer to you than to him.

The warmth of his touch, even through the leather gloves, was comforting; his movements much slower now compared to how they were minutes ago as he ruthlessly slashed vampires without struggle. It was even impressive how he could switch like that. Now, he moved around with the care of someone holding a scared kitten.

You didn’t know how to feel.

On one side, you liked it. Heavens, how could you not? When was the last time anyone had touched you with such care? You’d always associated vampires with violence and brute force… yes, Alucard could fight ruthlessly, and imagining him as your foe was frightening. But at the same time, he could be considerate, his touch as light as a feather, his hunting tiger eyes changing to worried ones in the blink of an eye. How could you not be… flattered by that?

On the other side, you wanted to dig a hole on the ground and hide there forever. You were beyond embarrassed – embarrassed because you got hurt in front of him, embarrassed that he was paying so much attention to you, embarrassed because Alucard was in a hurry (understandably) and he shouldn’t waste his time caring about the injury of someone that couldn’t take care of herself… and embarrassed because you liked the attention, even though you shouldn’t.

The pain of your wounds was nothing compared to your confused feelings.

When you found the other two after a short walk, your left eye had already reopened, although your vision was still blurry.

Annette held blades on both hands. She had a focused expression, but when she saw you, her eyes widened and she was about to run towards you. Richter also looked worried. Immediately, you lifted your hand; just Alucard was enough, you didn’t need anyone else focusing on you.

“Don’t worry! It’s nothing.” You tried your best to sound somewhat cheerful. See? It’s not so bad. It doesn’t even hurt. Don’t worry about me, please, don’t worry about me.

The amount of blood on the handkerchief – previously white, now completely red – made it hard to believe, even though you were hiding the wounds very well. Alucard looked at you with the corner of his eye, letting a glimpse of his worry pass through, before falling into the usual nonchalance.

“I think I killed all of them,” he stated. “None left to report back to Erzsebet.”

Any worries Richter might’ve had for you disappeared in a second. His shoulders fell down, his eyes dropped – and you immediately remembered what happened yesterday. Oh no. Tension bubbled up within your stomach. Annette sent a worried gaze from the Belmont boy to the vampire.

Unfortunately, Alucard noticed. “What?”

Richter sighed, realizing there was no way out of this. He turned to Alucard. “Yesterday, when we were fighting vampires…”

The white-haired man frowned. That simple action was enough to send shivers down your spine.

“...I might’ve given our destination away.” Richter confessed – embarrassed, hesitant. He closed his eyes for a second, as if he couldn’t bear to look at Alucard. “I was just–“

“Showing off. As usual.”

Another freezing cold shiver.

Alucard’s voice wasn’t loud – much the opposite. Low, raspy, similar to a hiss. It was the second time that day that you’d seen him show an emotion that wasn’t subtle.

“I’m sorry. It was stupid, I wasn’t thinking.” The Belmont boy very clearly felt the weight of embarrassment get heavier over his shoulders.

“No, you weren’t. You don’t.” Heavens – Alucard wasn’t even talking to you, yet you almost had the reflex of flinching away from him. It was the first time he used that tone. It was the first time he showed genuine, unclouded anger.

And it scared you.

Maybe not because it was him, but because your past captors taught you that anger meant punishment – and it was burned in your soul in a way that not even your healing condition could deal with.

“What’s done is done, Alucard,” Annette intervened in a defensive manner, perhaps because she thought that it could evolve into something worse. “Let’s just get moving.”

Obviously, Alucard knew she was right. You saw something in him – something that he surely kept very well hidden most of the time – that made you think that, perhaps, he was a stubborn person. Perhaps he was someone that didn’t like to back down when he felt he was right.

But then his eyes quickly paused on you. Maybe you were seeing too much, wanting to be more important than you actually were, and the other two definitely didn’t notice it. But you saw the way his eyes traveled from the bloody handkerchief pressed against your wound, or maybe he saw your expression – and that made him… give up.

Alucard simply let an irritated groan escape, sheathed his sword and walked towards the margin, not far from where you were.

You almost sighed in relief. A fight was the thing you needed the least right now.

While you watched Alucard’s tall figure distance himself, Richter expressed a little “thank you” towards Annette. She smiled, shrugging, before approaching you and resting her hand over your shoulder.

“Are you really okay?” she asked. It seemed that she wanted to take a look at your wounds, but you refused uncover them.

“Yes. It was just an accident.” Again, you faked a somewhat cheerful tone. “It’s already healing, so don’t worry. Really.”

Annette still looked hesitant, but ended up nodding anyway, making her way towards the boat.

Richter didn’t move at all. His fists were tightened, his eyes were down. Again, you couldn’t help but notice how his muscular body made such a contrast with his child-like features. He… looked like a boy. His round blue eyes were clouded by regret, embarrassment and a hint of sadness.

It brought forward a feeling you didn’t know you had. An… instinct.

“Don’t dwell too much on it,” you didn’t know where the courage to speak came from, but there you were anyway, your voice quiet in a tone you didn’t recognize. “He’s angry. It’ll pass.”

Even Richter seemed surprised at your words. He massaged the back of his neck and somehow managed to open a small smile before nodding.

“Let’s… get going,” it seemed he didn’t know what to reply. As you started to walk side by side, Richter eyed the left side of your face. “...You have a pretty high pain tolerance. I’m a bit jealous.”

You couldn’t help but let a light chuckle pass your lips.

And yet, your sudden reaction lingered in your mind for a while. The way you hated to see that boy looking even remotely sad. The way you found the words to try to comfort him, even though you usually struggled to speak most of the time.

...Could that be a memory, too?

You were used to feeling small.

It had nothing to do with height. Your captors made you feel small, minuscule, insignificant, for as long as you could remember. That wasn’t news. That was, in fact, ingrained in your brain in complicated ways.

And yet, Paris made you feel even smaller.

Not because you were being harassed this time, but because it was so big and there were so many buildings and there were so many people that you felt the size of a grain of salt.

You weren’t used to that.

You abandoned the boat a few hours before dawn. Two more hours of walking and finally, the first buildings peeked in the distance. The city was just waking up with the first rays of sunlight, and yet it was already flooding with people.

Too many people.

You didn’t know a city could have so many people. You didn’t know buildings could be that tall. You didn’t know a place could be so noisy. There were kids running around and carriages passing by and stray dogs barking at you (you almost peed yourself) and people selling bread and fruits on the sidewalks and there was a mother running after her son and a group of old ladies chatted very loud and there was a man wearing a monk cloak preaching something with a book in his hand and oh- the boy that was running from his mother almost got run over by a horse but the rider stopped it in time and cursed him using very bad names and the mother cursed the rider back using very bad names and the boy started crying–

A hand rested on top of yours. You gasped. It was Annette.

“I was asking if you were hungry,” she said, but by the look on her face you realized that you were doing it again, you were spiraling again in an embarrassing way – and worst, in front of all these people. You gulped and hid your shaking hands behind your back.

“N-No.” You were, in fact, hungry, but you didn’t know what you were saying at that point.

No one was convinced.

“Shouldn’t we rush to find the mummy?” Richter said – but after he finished that sentence, his stomach audibly growled. The Belmont boy blushed. Annette giggled. The white-haired vampire sighed.

“I suppose we should rest for a while. We made our way without any breaks, after all,” he said and put his hand in the inside pocket of his jacket, taking a small brown pouch from there. It tinkled with coins. He placed the pouch on Annette’s hand. “You two, get us something to eat. I’ll be waiting with Ruby at the square.”

Annette still asked if you wanted to eat something specific, to which you once again replied mumbling some nonsense. Richter looked visibly relieved to be away from Alucard, at least for a while. They made their way towards a fair around the corner.

Alucard touched your back softly. You instinctively flinched.

“It’s over there,” he pointed ahead with his chin. Indeed, you could see a great square at the end of the crowded street. You nodded.

Alucard walked in a calm stride, and you tried to match his pace, even though your heart pounded violently. Your nerves wanted you to run. Everything was so loud and chaotic. Even the pigeons were noisy. You tried your best to not cross eyes with anyone – especially with the many men wearing red, blue and white uniforms, holding bayonets over their shoulders.

You felt that you stood out in the middle of the crowd. Your deep blue gown apparently was not a very fitting attire to wear on the streets, even though it wasn’t as puffy or long as it used to be. Women wore much simpler dresses. You felt their gazes over you and it made you want to disappear. If you had a vampire’s ability to turn into a tiny bat, hell, you’d use that ability right now to fly away from all these people.

A hand rested on your arm.

You gasped a bit when you realized Alucard was gently pulling you close to him before a man could bump into you. Your shoulder pressed against his body.

The stranger seemed about to say something mean, but then he looked from you to Alucard’s frown and gulped. “My apologies, ma’am,” he stuttered with an awkward smile, but Alucard kept guiding you ahead instead.

Oh.

His sudden proximity to you cut the cacophony of the street for some moments.

Finally, the street opened to a large square with a big fountain in the center and multiple wooden benches scattered around it. As it had more space, it appeared less crowded. Groups of pigeons flew away as you approached one of the only empty benches closer to the fountain. You sat down, Alucard at your left side.

The sound of the water gushing in the fountain muffled the other noises, helping you calm down a bit, but not nearly enough. You nervously gripped the fabric of the skirt and shook your leg nonstop, the heel tapping on the stone pavement audibly. There were still too many people. Still too many noises. Still too much attention–

“Look. There’s a rainbow.”

You eyed Alucard, finding his sudden observation strange. He sat with crossed legs and hands resting over his lap in a tranquil position that matched his expression. He pointed forward towards the fountain, clearly not wanting you to look at him at that moment.

And so you did.

The fountain was probably three meters tall, with four sculptures of women holding jars from where the water fell towards a pool. Indeed, as sun rays hit the water, a small colorful rainbow was reflected on the small droplets around it.

“Y-Yes,” you stuttered.

Alucard hummed. His voice was even calmer than usual. “Now, close your eyes. Listen to the water.”

You still found it strange, but did it anyway. With no more visual stimuli, you could focus on the sound of the flowing water. It flowed, nonstop, a sound familiar and somehow comforting; after a while, it muffled all the other sounds, the voices and conversations and steps. It enveloped you in a bubble of… peace.

Your leg wasn’t shaking anymore.

Finally, you opened your eyes again, your breathing back to normal.

Alucard now had his arms crossed. He looked at nothing in particular. “All these people are too absorbed in their own lives,” his husky voice was as soft as velvet. “They don’t care about you, so don’t worry about them.”

You nodded.

In that moment… Alucard was like a cold spot next to you. But not in a bad way. Everything else was too hot, too uncomfortable; he was like the cold breeze you needed to refresh.

Sheepishly, you looked down at your hands resting over your lap. “I’ve… never been in such a crowded place.”

Alucard nodded. “You get used to it after a while.”

Silence lingered between you. It wasn’t uncomfortable now, though.

“Oh! I’m sorry about your handkerchief,” you extended the apology you didn’t want to say in front of the others. “I tried to wash it, but… it didn’t work.”

The white-haired vampire chuckled softly. “It’s alright. Blood stains aren’t easily cleaned… you don’t have to apologize at all.” His small smile immediately dropped. “I should be the one to apologize again for what happened.”

You turned your body in his direction slightly, lifting your palms in an appeasing gesture. “I-It was just an accident! You don’t need to apologize again.”

“Yes, I do. You’re under my responsibility and I failed you.” Alucard turned to look at you for the first time. “What if you didn’t have this healing ability? You would’ve lost one eye. I think you don’t understand how serious that wound was.”

You looked down to your lap again, fiddling with your fingers nervously. “...Let’s just be glad that my body works like this, then.”

Alucard was still watching you. It made that familiar heat spread from your neck to your face all over again. He turned his body slightly on your direction, resting his arm over the back on the bench.

“How does it work? Your healing.” His voice had a new hint of interest. He pointed towards your left cheek with a subtle movement of his finger.

Instinctively, you turned your body a bit towards him as well, still avoiding his gaze.

“It… depends.” You started, frowning a little. “If it’s a light injury, it heals in seconds. If it’s more serious, it might take longer. Though… with more serious injuries, I can’t tell exactly how long it takes. I’d usually pass out and wake up the next day with everything healed.”

Oh. You didn’t want to let that last part slip.

Alucard pressed his lips for a moment. They were… glossy. Plump and delicate almost the way you’d expect to see on a woman. In fact, Alucard was a perfect balance between masculine and feminine; his features could be soft and delicate – like his lips, his long eyelashes, shiny wavy hair – but he could also be extremely masculine with his broad shoulders, muscular physique, his height, his deep voice. He was very elegant. And it wasn’t an inherently “vampiric” feature, as you hadn’t seen other vampires act like that, even the ones that claimed to be “royalty”. It was something specifically his.

The warmth in your cheeks got worse. You had to look away from him.

You inhaled, building up courage to ask what had been sitting in your mind for days. “Alucard, have you… have you ever met anyone else like me? A human that could heal?”

He looked into the distance, thoughtful. “Not exactly.” He paused for a moment, as if hesitating if he should tell you or not. “...I met a black magician once, many years ago. He sacrificed children, absorbing their youth, to keep himself alive for longer than a human should live.”

You couldn’t help but gasp. A bad feeling settled in your gut. “Did he heal like me?”

“Healing required the sacrifice of another life. An equivalent exchange. So, no.”

“...What happened to him?”

“I killed him.”

You widened your eyes. “Well, I-I don’t remember ever sacrificing children before, so…”

Alucard closed his eyes and let a light chuckle. “We can assume that’s not your case.”

Once again, you fiddled with the fabric of the dress. “Do you… have any idea of what might be my case?”

The man hummed. A soft breeze played with the locks of his hair. A few loose strands glimmered under the sun. Heavens, it was so hard to keep eye contact with him… when he was looking at you, you felt about to explode. When he wasn’t, you felt like you could stare at him for hours. And you weren’t the only one; you noticed some women walking on the square, taking quick glances at him, giggling and blushing. He was wrong in his theory that people were “too absorbed” in their lives – at least, that was not the case when it was about him.

“I can’t be sure of anything.” Alucard started, holding his chin. “There are a few theories I thought of. You might’ve made a pact with a demon to keep you alive in exchange of something it wanted you to do. You might be channeling your life force from someone else, like the black magician did. You might even be like me… a dhampir, how scholars call my kind. Half-human, half-vampire. Yet, that might most definitely not be the case, as you lack all vampiric features or needs.”

You gulped. All of his suppositions sounded equally bad.

“Are there other dhampirs?” You decided to avert his attention from you for a minute.

Alucard shook his head slowly. “No.” He narrowed his eyes only slightly. “And I am almost certain that there can’t be others like me. I was only conceived because my father was especially powerful… and he had the means to keep my mother alive throughout pregnancy.” He frowned in a subtle disgusted expression. “...I have seen others trying to replicate my existence with human women. It… never ends well to them or the babies.”

Although his last sentence was horrifying, you felt a little bit excited; Alucard barely ever talked about himself… and he just talked about his father, Dracula. The strange name that seemed to evoke something familiar in you.

Hell. You wanted to ask him. You didn’t even know exactly what to ask, and you didn’t even know if Alucard would want to talk about his father. As Richter said, Dracula was the man that almost wiped out mankind, and Alucard had to stop him… had to kill him. That couldn’t be an easy topic to talk about. How do you even approach this conversation?!

But at the same time, “Dracula” seemed to be the most important memory you had retrieved up until now. It could provide answers.

“We could also scratch the ‘channeling life force from another source’, too, if we consider that you feel tired when healing from serious injuries,” Alucard kept on talking, unaware of your internal struggle. “If you feel tired, it means you’re utilizing your own force.”

And then, you were shaking your leg again. “So… pact with a demon it is. Sounds lovely,” you didn’t want to sound that nervous, but you couldn’t help it.

Alucard chuckled. It was… nice to see him like that. Not so aloof. Smiles, even tiny ones, looked great on him.

“As I said, they’re only theories. Don’t dwell too much on suppositions. We’ll find out the truth, sooner or later.”

A moment of silence lingered.

“What if… I am actually someone evil?” You wondered quietly. “I have no idea of who I was before her. So… that’s a possibility.”

Alucard took a while to answer.

“I have lived for long enough to understand that good and evil are not simple concepts.” He was using that tone again – the quiet, reassuring one. A tone that meant comfort, but in that moment, it also meant wisdom, perhaps wisdom beyond your comprehension. “No one is entirely evil. No one is entirely good. Even vampires. Sometimes, evil and good are completely intertwined. One might do evil deeds for a good cause or the opposite. It is… very broad and subjective.”

Finally, you lifted your gaze to look at him.

“And what do you think is my case?”

Once again, Alucard took some seconds to answer.

The arm that rested over the back of the bench approached your face, which caused your heartbeat to increase; he moved slowly like he did before – moving around a scared kitten. His fingers came close to your head; his touch, almost unnoticeable. He took a little leaf that was hidden between your strands with his fingertips.

Why such a mundane action made all of your insides twirl around like that?

“I’m not sure of your past,” he admitted quietly. “But I am sure of what I see right now; and in this moment, you’re not someone capable of evil. And this, to me, is enough.”

You… couldn’t really breathe.

Couldn’t really look away.

Suddenly, he was also inside your little bubble of peace. There were only the sounds of the fountain, the sunlight… and his golden eyes. Nothing else existed. His presence emanated tranquility, certainty, solace… and something else that you didn’t know how to name. The same thing that made warmth spread through your body anytime he was kind, anytime he smiled, anytime he took care of you somehow.

It felt like you had fallen into a spell. A sweet one. It had an ambrosial smell, a honeyed taste. You didn’t want to break away from it. Not this time.

You opened your mouth, thinking of what to say – anything, any word, but nothing came; you were frozen, breathless, speechless–

“We brought croissants!”

The bubble popped.

You snapped your head to the side. Annette held a basket with bread and Richter held a bottle.

“They’re fresh off the oven,” Annette said with a satisfied smile.

“And I got apple juice. It wasn’t easy to get, so please, appreciate it,” Richter boasted before sitting between you and Alucard unceremoniously.

Annette sat by your right side, handing you a croissant and frowning at him. “He fought an elder man to buy it. It wasn’t very gentleman-ly of you.”

“What? He skipped the queue! I was right. Besides, we need it more than he does,” Richter defended himself with a pout.

The other two kept humorously arguing, but you weren’t really listening to them, trying to calm your heart instead.

You looked at Alucard with the corner of your eye.

For the first time ever since you met, he averted his gaze from you… and it made another question mark pop in your head; this question mark, however, wasn’t as dark as the others.

...Could it be that Alucard felt the spell, too?

A/N: someone sent me an ask on tumblr that put a question mark in my head. They weren't sure if the fic was a self-insert or if Ruby was a separate character from "reader". If anybody else is confused, yess, this is a self-insert, I am calling you RUBY and this will be your new LEGAL NAME from now on, don't argue with me. (jokes aside - I thought this was pretty clear :( hope no one else is confused, and I hope that this detail doesn't make the fic unreadable to you!) As usual, feedback is MUCH MUCH MUCHHH APPRECIATED!!!! This girl put out 4 chapters, 20k words in like ten days. cough cough I do feel like I deserve it 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ 💞💞💞

[lightnersdream-archive]

i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.

(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)

because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,

(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)

it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,

it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.

(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)

she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."

there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves

there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic

she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect

i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way

it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."

it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense

this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though

she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it

by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands

i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me

she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility

she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind

but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*

[shaytheantagonist]

My Roman Empire is how the life series writes itself. Here are some coincidences that I think about frequently:

1. Every person who has ever won a life series (Real Life included) was paired with another winner in Double Life (Grian & Scar, Scott & Pearl, Martyn & Cleo)

2. Several members had patterns in their deaths in Secret Life (All of Grian’s deaths happened while a large portion of the remaining server members were present, all of Scott’s deaths were arranged & he let whoever killed him kill him, all of Etho’s deaths were from Scar killing him, all of Jimmy’s deaths were from mobs of increasing strength (drowned, dragon & warden), all of Mumbo’s deaths were because of poor walking (walked off a ledge, walked into lava, walked into his own fence posts) & all of Martyn’s deaths happened in different dimensions)

3. Jimmy being out first 4 times in a row

4. Grian winning 3rd Life & then being dead last in the VR recreation of 3rd Life

5. Mumbo always having his final death moments after Jimmy’s final death

6. Pearl & Scar winning their seasons after being the underdog the entire season & having it the hardest

7. The first interaction Etho & Joel had in the entire life series was while they were in boats

8. Every time Scott is in the final two, whoever loses dies to a mob they didn’t know was behind them (Ren in Last Life, Scott in Real Life)

9. Jimmy always cursing at least one of his allies to do horribly each season (3rd Life was Scott’s lowest placement ever, 10th. Last Life: both Mumbo & Impulse were in the bottom 4. Double Life: Tango played poorly and was responsible for 2/3 of their deaths. Limited Life, Joel was out third & The Bad Boys died A LOT. Secret Life: Martyn was the first yellow AND the first red despite literally winning the previous season. EVEN REAL LIFE, Jimmy teamed with Grian, Joel, Scar & Impulse, who were the first 4 to be eliminated.)

10. Since Double Life, Pearl has wanted her allies to win the current seasons, she has outlived all of her main allies every season since then (Big B in Limited Life & Mumbo, BDubs & Joel in Secret Life)

11. Joel literally & metaphorically being the reason Lizzie was the first one out instead of Jimmy in Secret Life (Lizzie only died because she was trying to kill Scott to help out with Joel’s assassin task, by the time she tried to kill him & died in the process, Joel had already failed his task & just hadn’t told her yet, so if he had told her that he had failed, she wouldn’t have taken Scott to the end & fallen into the void & Jimmy probably would’ve first out again. Also when they were hosting an early funeral for Jimmy, Joel opened the grave & told Jimmy to “Rise”, I think this was Joel unknowingly breaking the curse.)

12. The fact that Gem’s final death is always her coming 3rd & dying in a 2v1 situation.

13. Joel’s first death in Last Life was fall damage, his first death in Secret Life was also fall damage. The reason Joel ended up on red life in Last Life was because of the Boogeyman curse (both times), in Secret Life, he because red because of being killed by a Boogeyman. In Last Life Joel’s final death was at the hands of Scott, causing him to place 5th, in Secret Life, Joel’s final death was being killed by Scott, causing him to place 5th. I’m leaving out one of Joel’s Last Life deaths, specifically when he died to Mumbo in self defence, but that’s mostly cuz there are more deaths in Last Life than Secret Life

This isn’t even all of them, there are so many more!

[soul-collectors]

SOUL Collectors 101 - #1 : Anomaly SOULs

Presented by Edu! a Science!Sans variant specializing in studying these anomalies!

(next lesson)

-What are Anomaly SOULs?

Put it simply; They’re SOULs affected by a timeline glitch that gives the concealed human SOULs shape and matter, virtually reviving them!

it usually happens after an “ending” has registered into the timeline Where the SOULs are supposed to just- disappear.

Every time the file save of that timeline is loaded or reset without properly handling the Anomaly SOULs, they’re reformed.

-Stages of reformation

Beginning with a simplified Vistage, they eventually develop to a more accurate shape of the departed human, even recovering their memories at a certain point- until uhm...I haven’t gotten enough data to know haha..!

Their memories may develop in different ways with each reset! Some might only remember their fall and some might recall everything to their last breath..oof...

Anomaly Souls cannot be absorbed nor shattered! They simply “refuse” to. Literally.

Only SOUL Collectors can properly contain Anomaly SOULs. Other methods have been used, but they usually yield less favorable results. We’re still discovering more about them, though!

If a SOUL Collector frees an Anomaly SOUL after containing them, it usually takes from a few hours to days or even weeks for their Vistage to reform depending on what phase they were collected in.

-How do you tell the difference?

You can’t- at least not your normal, everyday person. By themself, SOUL Anomalies look almost indistinguishable from a normal SOUL. You won’t know unless you try shattering or absorbing it-!

Some Monsters and humans from other universes have trained themselves to tell the difference! And some are just “born” to it- like SOUL Collectors-!

-Are they dangerous?

ehhh…Not really- I mean Yes!! *some* are! But for the first few phases that ARE harmless, down the line, they may pose a threat to the timeline and its inhabitants, especially if agitated…

-Monsters affected by Anomaly SOULs.

If an Anomaly SOUL attacks and kills a monster and the save file is loaded/reset, the Monster will return somewhat physically similar to an amalgamate.

Their SOUL reforms their body in the same way as a SOUL Anomaly’s “but it refused” mentality.

Except- unlike a human’s, the Monster’s SOUL isn’t capable of properly reforming itself…thus they come out...misshapen.

I haven’t seen many cases, thankfully. But, from the data I collected from SOUL collectors themselves; this is one of the main reasons they collect anomaly SOULs: to protect the inhabitants of timelines and the multiverse from collapsing into itself in chaos.

That's probably the gist of it- We're still researching Anomaly SOULs especially Whenever Soul visits this timeline-

.

[This is just the basic info about Anomaly SOULs, More information and examples will be posted throughout the account/story!]

[read-marx-and-lenin]

It's a good pamphlet and clearly the DDR needed to defend itself. But it doesn't explain why they had to shoot civilians trying to leave the East

I'm not going to say I support the "shoot to kill" orders. I don't. I think they were the wrong move on the part of the GDR and led to unnecessary and tragic deaths. But I also think you have to look at it objectively and in the context of the wall itself.

In 1959, the GDR announced the discovery of classified NATO documents outlining a potential invasion of East Germany using West Berlin as a staging ground, dubbed "Operation DECO II". Neither NATO nor the FRG have ever confirmed or denied the authenticity of these documents, but they align with Western refusal to agree to any plans for reunification that did not involve a NATO-aligned Germany.

In 1960, the Sino-Soviet Split occurs, France becomes a nuclear power, and NATO deploys nuclear missiles in Italy. In June 1961, two months before construction of the Wall, NATO deploys nuclear missiles in Turkey. In October 1961, the USSR detonates the largest nuclear bomb ever created. In 1962, the Cuban Missile Crisis occurs. And in 1963, Kennedy makes his "Ich bin ein Berliner" speech, proclaiming his opposition to communism and the defensive actions of the GDR.

From 1957 to 1961, the head of the West German military was Adolf Heusinger, a former high-ranking Wehrmacht general who helped to plan the Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union. From 1961 to 1964, Heusinger was Chairman of the NATO Military Committee. After Konrad Adenauer had ended denazification in West Germany early, many such instances of former Nazis and Nazi collaborators coming to power and prominence within West Germany had occurred, which is part of the reason why the GDR dubbed the Wall the "Anti-Fascist Protection Wall".

This period marked the highest point in tensions between East and West during the Cold War. Around the world, revolutionary movements were growing, and the capitalists and imperialists were becoming more belligerent in turn. The GDR was dealing with saboteurs and spies and Western agents bribing skilled workers to encourage defection. It is no surprise then that according to a 2011 study into the 136 deaths attributed by the authors to the Wall (and not all of these deaths were of civilians), more than half occurred from 1961 to 1966. However, over 50,000 arrests were made due to border crossing attempts that did not result in death, and by the 1980s there were millions of legal crossings from East to West Berlin approved by the GDR, the vast majority of which later returned to the GDR.

Every death that happened due to the Wall is a death that should not have happened. But the Wall is not some totalitarian construct the evil communists created to trap people and prevent their escape. It was a means of defense against the aggression of the capitalist world towards a vulnerable socialist state forced to host a capitalist enclave. In a just world, West Berlin would never have existed in the first place. In a just world, NATO would have accepted the Soviet proposal for a neutral and unified Germany and Germany would not have been separated for decades. The Anti-Fascist Protection Wall served its purpose and prevented what could have been a major escalation in the Cold War.

When the Wall fell and capitalism was forced upon East Germany, immediately there were major increases in poverty, unemployment, and homelessness, something that occurred across Eastern Europe during the period of neoliberal "shock therapy" as labor protections and welfare systems were removed and state enterprises were privatized. To this day, East Germany remains poorer than West Germany despite over thirty years of glorious free market capitalism to mend the divide. I do not have any concrete numbers, but I would not be surprised if the total number of deaths relating to post-reunification poverty exceeded the number of deaths attributed to the Wall.

Recommended reading:

What You Should Know About the Wall (1962 GDR pamphlet regarding the Wall) Behind the Berlin Wall - Challenge Magazine A Marxist-Leninist Approach to the Berlin Wall - /r/communism The Triumph of Evil - Austin Murphy Stasi State or Workers’ Paradise - Bruni de la Motte & John Green

[obiwanwhat]

I know someone has probably said this better but. There's really so much about Luke & Ahsoka interactions that can be explored. Because honestly they have every reason to resent each other?

Anakin was arguably much more of a father to Ahsoka than he ever was to Luke (even if he was more of an older brother figure to Ahsoka than an actual father figure). He trained her and built her lightsabers and had a dumb nickname for her and made dad jokes and like - everything Luke ever could have wanted out of his dad. She knew him when he was still Anakin Skywalker and not Darth Vader. She knew Padme!! Padme also was kind of her mom! Luke doesn't even know Padme's name until sometime post ROTJ - it's possible Ahsoka was the first person who could have told it to him.

Not only that, but she had the Jedi Order. She was trained by the Order at its peak, raised from infancy in the rituals and knowledge that Luke now must piece together from whispers from ghosts and whatever old texts he can scrounge up from the corners of the galaxy the Empire somehow missed. He is doing all of this on his own with no guidance, no oversight, meanwhile it's knowledge that came to her as easy as breathing.

And she walked away from all of it. Everything Luke has ever wanted - a relationship with his parents, proper Jedi training, the Jedi Order itself - she had without ever asking for it, and she walked away from it without a backward glance. And she's still walking away from it - she's not a Jedi, she won't claim that title, she won't join Luke's new Order. Maybe she shows up from time to time and tells him some stories and shares from knowledge, but she won't train him, and somewhere deep down he knows that he will never be as much of a Jedi as she is even though she doesn't claim that title anymore, and part of the reason because is she won't help him.

And for Ahsoka's part. Anakin returned from the Dark Side for Luke. He couldn't - or wouldn't - return for Ahsoka, who he trained, who knew him and loved him and would have died for him. He tried to kill her and would have if Ezra hadn't saved her. But this boy, who shares nothing with Anakin but a name and half his DNA - he was enough to bring Anakin back. She wasn't, not with everything they shared, not with all the times she'd almost died for him, and he'd saved her, and she'd saved him. How do you not kind of hate someone for that?

And besides, he's trying to bring back the Jedi Order. The Order that cast her aside as soon as it was convenient for them, the Order that allowed Anakin Skywalker to become what he did and was too blind to see a Sith Lord under their noses and that died for those mistakes. And sure, he's trying to do it differently, he's trying to do it better, but what does this boy know of better? What can he know of the sins of the Jedi Order? When he speaks of the Order with stars in his eyes, what can he know of the pain that she suffered? That so many suffered? How can he correct what he doesn't understand?

I just think it would be cool to see more of that explored in canon.